Carefree music plays as Seth and Ryan walk through the outside hallways of Harbor School, and Seth asks for the zillionth time in twenty episodes what the deal is with Marissa. When Ryan explains that he and Marissa aren't seeing each other, Seth is unsatisfied, pointing out that they "will see each other, of course. You know? At school, every day, for the couple years." Ryan simply says that they'll just go back to being friends, and Seth -- pausing to caress a pillar in a slightly unsettling way -- asks when Marissa and Ryan actually were friends -- when Ryan was beating up Luke, or when Ryan was spooning Marissa in a Tijuana motel? He waggles an accusatory finger at Ryan, who asks if that means he and Marissa can't be friends now. Ryan answers his own question: "Think I'll have to see her today?" Not if she turns sideways, I don't.
Summer and Marissa are also at Harbor School, having exactly the same conversation, as characters tend to do on this show. Summer asks what Ryan and Marissa will do together as friends:"Lift weights? Try on wifebeaters?" She flatly states that guys like Ryan aren't friends with girls, and Marissa warbles that she doesn't want to be his friend, but that after OliverGate, she has to show Ryan that he can trust her. She doesn't even know, though, if he'll want to be friends. Then, in an earth-shattering turn of events, Marissa manages to stop talking about herself long enough to ask Summer a question about Summer! Summer tells her that things with Seth are weird: "In public, he's like this huge geek who mumbles," and she doesn't even know what he says half the time; under the sheets, though, "he's like, the anti-Cohen." Wait. I thought they were going to take things slow? Continuity aside, Summer echoes Ryan: "Do you think I'll have to see him today?"
We return to Ryan and Seth's conversation as Seth comments that he and Summer are finally "over the hump, by the way...so to speak." He just hopes she can "keep it in her trousers" when she sees Seth. And unless there's something we don't know about Summer, that expression doesn't really work for the girls. And I hope she'll keep it in her trousers, too, if there is something that could actually be pulled out of her trousers. Pushing that aside (ew), Seth suggests that Summer will soon have her "paws" all over him. He's really not painting the most flattering picture of Summer, is he? Seth's cell phone interrupts before Summer ends up with prominent facial hair and a club foot; the call is from a 909 area code, which perplexes Seth. Not Ryan, though, who grabs the phone. It's Theresa, and we see a shot of her sitting cross-legged on a bed; she explains that she got the number from Kirsten. Ryan awkwardly asks if everything is okay, and she says that everything is fine, but that she's coming out to Newport today. He asks if it's for work, and she claims it is, but that she won't be working the whole time and wondered if they could hang out together tonight. Ryan non-emotively agrees that they can, and she tells him not to sound so excited. When he explains that he's just surprised, she's all, "You know me. Full of surprises." We hear sounds in the background as Theresa twitches around looking sketchy. She says she'll come by after dinner, just as Eric Balfour -- who we will later learn is named "Eddie" -- emerges from the shower, all wet and shiny. Theresa hurries to shove a suitcase under the bed and out of his eyesight; she explains that the call was a wrong number.
Ryan, meanwhile, is more forthcoming with Seth; he explains that the call was from Theresa, who is in town to hang out "as a friend." Seth gleefully nods and responds, "First Marissa, then Theresa. Who knew Ryan Atwood was so friendly?" Hee.
Tinkle tinkle tink. Tinkle tinkle tink. Tinkle tinkle tinkle tink. California here we come!
Back from the break, we're still at Harbor. Seth has thankfully removed the Members Only jacket he was wearing moments ago to reveal a simple bright blue polo. It's quite handsome. He's also wearing pants, so don't go getting too excited, girls and select boys. Seth and Ryan and Summer and Marissa face off in their usual pairs. Some Brad guy approaches and asks if he can talk with Summer, and Seth snits that he didn't recognize Brad outside his Speedo. He thinks this over and qualifies, "Not that I'd recognize you in the Speedo." Hee. Summer laughs exaggeratedly, and hobbles off after Brad. Either they're sporting some major continuity for once and she's still injured from her sex bout with Seth, or Rachel Bilson can't walk in those shoes. Seth pouts and trails after them, leaving behind the awkwardness that is Marissa and Ryan. She asks how he is; he pauses, stares vacantly, and says he's late before scurrying away.
Cut to Summer's conversation with Brad; Seth stands on a step below them, looking horrified. Brad explains that the water polo team is doing a kissing-booth fundraiser and are "looking for a girl who's comfortable being paid to make out with a bunch of guys." Naturally, he thought of her. Summer manages to be flattered by this, and agrees enthusiastically. After Brad leaves, Seth whines that he talked to Summer like Seth wasn't even there; does Brad even know Seth and Summer are going out? Summer points out that it's not like Brad wants her to kiss her; he just wants her to kiss lots of other guys for money! Seth isn't loving this explanation, but Summer just promises to see Seth that night, flirtatiously adding that he can help her practice. She leaves, and Anna materializes. Seth greets her half-heartedly as she snits that it didn't take long for him and Summer to get together. He considers attempting an excuse, but goes with the more earnest apology. She lets him off the hook because she saw it coming, which is why she broke up with him. He inquires about Pittsburgh, and she sweetly says it was good to be home, leading him to enthuse over the hometown of Andy Warhol, Mr. Rogers, and ketchup: "How can you compete with that?" She agrees, and announces that she got a tuna melt at her favorite diner, saw Some Kind of Wonderful (shout-out!), flossed exactly six hundred and twenty seven times, and hung out with her friends. Seth thinks it sounds awesome, and she sadly says she didn't realize how much she missed her friends.
“ Lady Heather explains that a booty call is showing up in the night without apology, compliment, or commitment, and with 'the very mistaken idea that [she] just might wanna f --' The door slams shut on the rest of the word, but you can bet it rhymes with 'fuck.' ”
Theresa has apparently run out and spent what little money she has on a bunch of candles for her week's stay at the Mermaid Inn. Ryan asks when she planned to tell him she was engaged; she insists that she's not engaged, because while Eddie did ask, she never actually said yes. When Ryan asks if she thought just taking off would fix everything, Theresa rebuts, "You did." She apologizes, and Ryan announces that she'll have to face Eddie sooner or later. She says she just needs some time, and Ryan's all, "Yeah! You need about five years!" She asks if he really thinks things will be different for her then, or has he forgotten where he comes from? She continues, "Not everybody has an infinity pool in their back yard, goes to private school, and drives around in a Range Rover." Ryan angrily asks what the hell she's talking about, and she explains that Eddie has his own place, is the foreman at work, and isn't a drunk or a screw-up like the rest of his friends. Ryan announces, "All good reasons to marry him!" Theresa adds that Eddie loves her. Ryan asks, "And you?" Theresa just repeats that she needs time. After a brief standoff, he asks what she's doing for dinner. When she says, "Nothing," he tells her not to tell him she's not hungry, because he knows her. She snits that she didn't say she wasn't hungry; she's starving -- why does he think she's being such a bitch? He asks if she's planning to eat out of the vending machine, and then throws his keys at her. She'll eat at The Big House!
Seth opens the front door to find a pissy Summer; she marches in, all, "Upstairs. Alone. Now." When he says he'd have to "file a grievance with the union," she insists that it's been long enough. He points out that he just left her house two hours ago, and she says it feels like four. She's been thinking about what he said, though, and she found it "totally insensitive." He asks how, and she asks why he can't accept that she's not comfortable with public displays of affection. He points out that she's offering herself for ten dollars a pop in a kissing booth: "How much more publicly can affection be displayed?" Summer flirts that she knows there's a strike, but technically he wouldn't be a scab if he didn't have to do anything. He's all, "Summer, don't say 'scab,'" and then whispers back that her strike-busting techniques won't work: "The rank and file are holding strong." As she scurries out, he holds up a fist, all, "Solidarity!"
door, Caleb is also on an unsuccessful sex run. Lady Heather opens the door to find him standing on the steps. She says it's a surprise and he smarms, "A welcome one, I hope." She thanks him for the unimpressive flowers, and they agree that they miss each other. He then launches into a speech about how they're not "lovestruck adolescents" waiting to be swept off their feet; they're both responsible adults and should be able to come up with some sort of "arrangement" wherein they both get what they need out of the relationship. And the words "arrangement" and "relationship" never add up to anything good. She snidely concludes, "Is this a booty call?" He's never heard the term, and she explains that it's showing up in the night without apology, compliment, or commitment, and with "the very mistaken idea that [she] just might wanna f --" The door slams shut on the rest of the word, but you can bet it rhymes with "fuck." Outside, Caleb picks the rejected bouquet off the ground and concludes, "Guess it was a booty call." Hee.
“ Marissa asks what her options are if she and Ryan can't be friends, and Jimmy says she needs to let Ryan know what she wants to be. Let's hope it's not an actress. ”
Back at The Big House, Sandy asks about Kirsten's involvement with Uncle Sean as she unloads the usual takeout. How do these people order that much food and not weigh three hundred pounds? Kirsten explains that he spends most of his time out of the office with the crews, suppliers, and inspectors. Sandy suggests that you have to be a "hard-ass" to deal with those "characters," and Kirsten is sure Sean "can be persuasive" when necessary. Sandy's all, "Convincing argument 'persuasive' or baseball bat 'persuasive'?" Kirsten dodges the subject to say she understands if Sandy doesn't want to help; in fact, she never thought he would. Seth enters the kitchen, and Kirsten tells him that she has "slaved over hot takeout containers," and dinner is ready. Sandy asks where Ryan is, and Ryan appears. (I'll have to try that some time. How about now? "Where's Adam Brody?" Huh. Didn't work. I'll try again. "Where is Adam Brody?" Sigh. How disappointing.) In any case, Ryan is followed by Theresa, and Sandy licks his lips in her direction. No, really. He does. Ryan makes introductions and Seth's all, "Hello, friend!" Theresa admires the food and confidently asks if she can help. Kirsten explains that the "key is taking the food out of the Styrofoam containers," and Sandy chimes in to add, "But her real specialty is ordering."
Seth pulls Ryan aside to ask what's going on, telling him not to say nothing because it's something. Ryan flatly says, "She's engaged," and Seth commends him on "mak[ing] quick work of the ladies." Ryan explains about how Eddie showed up looking for her, and Seth can't close his surprised mouth.
Sandy and Kirsten pull Seth aside to ask the same question, repeating the whole nothing/something bit. Seth agrees that it's indeed something and declares, "Parents, what we have here is our very own telenovela." He explains that it's a Spanish-language soap opera and adds, "I do hope Isabel gets Victor. I do love his handlebar mustache." Sandy, meanwhile, groans, "Ay. Dios mio. Hee.
Meanwhile, at the Non-Beautiful Blue Bachelor Pad, Marissa mopes on the couch with the remote. From the television, we hear, "Previously on The Valley," and some dialogue in which someone yells at someone not to hurt someone else. Jimmy enters with takeout of their very own and asks what she's doing; he thought she'd be with Ryan? When she reveals that Ryan is busy with his "friend" Theresa, Jimmy asks whether she's okay with that. She says it's not a big deal, but Jimmy insists that it is, because it's important to her. What's important to her, she says, is not talking about it, because she really is fine and it's "just...high school." He says that's supposed to be his line, and that she's supposed to be talking about how Ryan's the most important thing in the world and she can't live without him and blah. And thank God we don't have to endure Mischa Barton attempting to deliver those lines. In any case, Marissa insists that they're just friends, or trying to be. At the risk of embarrassing her, Jimmy says, she and Ryan were never friends; she snits that she's heard. She asks what her options are if they can't be friends, and he says she needs to let Ryan know what she wants to be. Let's hope it's not an actress.
“ Kirsten whines that someone should stop him before he starts singing 'Greased Lightnin',' but Seth encourages him: 'Do it, Dad. Travolta's your bitch.' Sandy thanks his son, but, sadly, does not jump on the table and pretend it's a car or a woman or whatever that song's really about. ”
Back at The Big House, we join the meal just as Theresa is detailing a time when they were all dressed up for her brother's sixteenth birthday. Ryan cuts her off to ask if she has any stories that don't involve him falling down or getting injured. Seth eagerly asks if Ryan fell down when he did musicals, and a gleeful Sandy pipes up, "You did musicals? I did a musical or two myself in college!" Kirsten whines that someone should stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightnin'," but Seth encourages him: "Do it, Dad. Travolta's your bitch." Sandy thanks his son, but, sadly, does not jump on the table and pretend it's a car or a woman or whatever that song's really about. Theresa continues her story, which takes place in the revolving restaurant of a Holiday Inn, but she's interrupted again, this time by the doorbell. Everyone looks anxious, for some reason, as well they should since it turns out to be Marissa, who Kirsten calls "sweetie." She hopefully asks if Ryan is home, then follows Kirsten into the dining room just as Seth professes his love for revolving restaurants and Sandy is all, "Who doesn't? Motion and digestion? Unbeatable combination!" Kirsten makes with the awkward "Look who's here!" and Sandy's head looks like it's about to unscrew from all the looking back and forth and back and forth. He zestfully asks if everyone knows each other, and they sure do! When Sandy asks if she's hungry, Marissa announces that she's starving; is it okay if she joins them? Ryan rushes to get her a place; she sits and asks, "So. What's everyone talking about?" Dead silence ensues.
The morning, Seth enters the pool house bearing the telephone. When he announces that it's Eddie, Ryan waves it off, which works out, since Eddie has hung up anyway. Seth's all, "So, um, dinner last night? Entertaining for the rest of us, but...." Ryan's all, "Last night?" like nothing eventful happened, and Seth explains, "The whole, uh, dinner theatre telenovela thing you performed?" Ryan asks, "Tela....novela?" in a delivery that's more like, "Tela...nowhatnow?" Seth explains, "Spanish-language sudser. Telemundo, dude. Television. Victor? With the sexy handlebar mustache?" Comprehende? Ryan's all, "Nada." Hee. Seth asks whether Ryan still thinks of himself as the "friend guy," "befriending any tall beautiful woman who cares to dine with us?" He then says he's speaking from personal experience in pointing out that "the triangle's, uh, not a friendly shape. Okay? It's pointed. It's got sharp edges. Triangles hurt people, man." Ryan insists that there is no triangle, because he and Marissa aren't together and Theresa's just in Newport for work. Seth rebuts that both girls still obviously have feelings for Ryan, and that the only thing that's not obvious is how Ryan feels. When Ryan says it's complicated, Seth agrees that it is, "by the fact that there's an Eddie, and this Eddie still obviously has feelings for Theresa." Seth concludes that Eddie's existence makes the romantic triangle more of a "romantic rhombus." Ryan asks what he should do, and Seth doesn't know, but suggests that he do something soon, because otherwise someone will get hurt, and judging from Eddie's phone voice, that someone will probably be Ryan.
At the Newport Group, Caleb lectures Sandy on the dirty business of construction. Bids below cost! Mysteriously approved permits! Guys like Sean are the lifeblood of the industry! Sandy commends Caleb's touching speech, but turns down Sean's case, wishing Caleb well. Caleb starts in on how Sean is old and tired and will have lots of answers for the D.A., leading Sandy to preach that if you build your empire on quicksand, eventually it will sink. Caleb asks what about Kirsten, since she's complicit, too. Sandy yelps that Kirsten doesn't know anything about it, and Caleb explains that he kept it from her to protect her, but since she's the one who signs Sean's paychecks, they're all in it together. The eyebrows are displeased! Let's just hope no one ends up with the head of Captain Oats in his bed.
In the Student Disunion, Anna plays Pac-Man. Now that's my game. It's not my hat, though. She's in danger of being swallowed by the giant, denim pageboy cap. Summer abashedly approaches, clutching a purple folder to her chest. She apologizes, announcing that it's not like she and Seth planned to get together; it just happened, but if it makes Anna feel better, she doesn't think it will work out. Anna sadly says, "That makes me feel great." As Anna turns back to the game, Summer presses her back against the Galaga machine and opens up about how she can't be one of those hand-holding couples who make out in the hallway between classes and let the whole world know what's going on, because it's none of their business. Anna softly rebuts, "Yeah, well, you don't have to ignore him, Summer." Aw. Anna points out that Summer spent so much time trying to get his attention -- she even dressed up like Wonder Woman, but Wonder Woman is supposed to have an invisible jet, not an invisible boyfriend. Anna concludes, "Either you're really evil, or there's something else going on." Suddenly near tears, Summer breathily whispers that she doesn't know why Seth likes her: he's smart and they have nothing in common; he'll just get bored of her like all boys do. And if everyone knows they're dating, then everyone will know when he breaks up with her. Which he will. She inhales deeply and asks, "Dumped by Seth Cohen? Real good for my reputation." Anna looks concerned, perhaps because she just realized she's wearing a glittery name-tag for absolutely no reason.
At his locker, Luke answers a cell-phone call from Lady Heather, who reprimands him for saying her name out loud, and then instructs him to come to the hotel, park across the street, walk to their usual room, and knock twice so that she'll know it's him. She pauses, and then dramatically declares, "And Luke? This is a booty call." Luke's as amused by that as I am.
Seth is also at his locker, but no booty calls come his way. Instead, Anna does, announcing that he's not the only coward. He says it's nice to see her, too. She explains that Summer is also scared, which Seth already knows -- she's scared of being seen in public with him! Anna points out that Summer was fearless and ruthless (isn't that some Cosmo award?) in fighting for him, and now she's got him; what's scarier than that? Seth asks, "Nothing scarier than being with me, or do you mean, like, anyone?" When Anna translates that Summer is afraid of losing him, Seth asks why, since he's not going anyway. Anna suggests that Seth let Summer know that.
Meanwhile at The Mermaid, Marissa knocks at a door which surprisingly does not open to reveal Lady Heather or Luke or anyone else that could cause further drama on the show. Not yet, anyway. Instead, it's Theresa's room, and Marissa announces that she wants to talk. She knows it's weird that she's there, but she needs to know if Theresa is still in love with Ryan. Theresa concludes that Marissa must be to be asking, and Marissa bleats that she doesn't want to be, and that it would be easier if she wasn't. With this, Theresa lets Marissa in.
We haven't gotten the ChinoCam in a while, nor the accompanying requisite grey tones. Ryan drives as the soundtrack softly sings about finding a way back home. He enters a job site which is all very Flashdance, and by that I mean there's lots of welding, as opposed to people running around in off-the-shoulder sweatshirts. Ryan finds Eddie, who suggests that it was a really long drive for Ryan just to come say hello. Ryan admits that he wasn't honest in their conversation. They head to a back room together, where Eddies does lots of frustrated sighing and head rolls. He asks why Ryan lied to him, and Ryan says he doesn't know. Ryan emphatically refutes that Theresa is staying with him, insisting that she's working, as her mother said. Eddie grumbles that he popped the question and she ran away...straight to Ryan.
Meanwhile, Mischa Barton is busy attempting to express convincing "surprise" at the fact that Theresa is contemplating marriage. Marissa suggests that Theresa must love Eddie a lot; Theresa doesn't answer.
Eddie asks if Ryan loves Theresa, and Ryan says he doesn't know. But Eddie knows! He does! He wants to take care of Theresa -- does Ryan? Can Ryan? Eddie knows this is a tough situation and he can't tell Ryan what to do, but if Ryan wanted to, he could convince Theresa to come back home. But if not, Ryan had better be prepared to fight for her, because Eddie's not just going to walk away! He pats Ryan on the back, and dismisses him for the long ride back, condescendingly telling him he's got a lot to think about.
“ We see that the decorations for this fundraiser are giant, lip- shaped balloons. They're lewd, and look like something that should never, ever be portrayed in the shape of a balloon. ”
Theresa is telling some long-winded story about her mother's church and a stained-glass window featuring a saint (named Theresa, of course) whose heart is being pierced by the arrow of an angel. For some reason, Theresa seems to think this is a happy picture. As she begins talking about her First Communion, white dress, and gloves, we cut back to ChinoCam. We cut back and forth between Ryan pensively looking out the window, and Theresa telling Marissa that she used to hope one day someone would pierce her heart, and that she'd walk down the aisle in a real white dress and feel happy. She knows it sounds lame, because life isn't like that; you can't get caught up in wishing for something that won't happen -- you have to hang onto the best thing. With that, Theresa announces that she should go call Eddie, and Marissa heads back to school.
Lady Heather -- clad in head-to-toe pink golf attire -- slips into the hotel room door seconds before Marissa and Theresa emerge and say their awkward parting words. It's not relevant now, but you can bet it will be later.
Harbor School. A line of boys wait in the kissing both line, at the front of which Summer bestows peppy kisses for money. Seth shoves his way to the front of the line, handing a long-haired guy a "full refund." He turns to the crowd, thanks them, and announces that the "show's over." When Brad asks if "this kid's" bothering her, Summer insists that it's fine. She complains that Seth is making a scene, but he doesn't care because he has to talk to her right now! When she says she'll just IM him later, he thinks it over and, with a resolute "Okay," comes to a decision. He tries to scale the booth top, but can't get his leg over it; he groans and pulls over a chair, which he scrambles up. Hee. Anna glances over from the Pac-Man machine. We see that the decorations for this fundraiser are giant, lip-shaped balloons. They're lewd, and look like something that should never, ever be portrayed in the shape of a balloon. Seth stands on the counter and urges Summer to join him, as she covers her face and mutters her dismay. Sweet music plays as Seth tells her he knows she's scared, and she's all, "Yeah. Of you." He plaintively says that he can't believe she'd kiss all these other guys but not him, and declares, "Acknowledge me now or lose me forever." Brad's like, "Wait, you're dating this emo geek?" As the watching crowd giggles, Seth responds for Summer that she is dating him, and then turns, extends his arms, and announces, "Yeah. That's right. Um. I'm a big dork and I listen to emo. And I'm dating her." Summer softly asks why he's doing this, and he responds that he likes her this much, and if she doesn't feel the same, then "someone's gonna have to give me a hand down, because it's really high up here and I could fall and that would be embarrassing...more embarrassing." Hee. Summer looks torn as Seth extends a hopeful hand to her. Finally, she smiles and takes his hand, joining him on top of the table. The various jocks stare and look confused, while multitudes of cheerleaders swoon. Summer can't believe she's doing this, and Seth tells her it's all over but the public makeout session. A quick shot of Anna reveals that she looks happy, proud, and completely crestfallen. Aw. Summer and Seth make out, breaking long enough for Summer to tell Seth he owes her ten bucks. He doesn't mind, since it's for "a worthy cause." Aw. That boy just earned his trench coat. (And by that I mean in the Lloyd Dobler sense, not in any creepy flasher sense.)
Theresa packs and attempts to call Eddie, but a knock at the door leads her to drop the phone on the bed. It's Ryan, and Theresa steps outside to explain that she's going back home because it seems like the right thing to do. He agrees that she needs to do what's right for her and Eddie, just as he needs to figure out what's right for him and Marissa. She agrees, and they look away from each other. He moves closer and asks with urgency in his voice why, if it's the right thing to do, he doesn't want her to go. She responds, "And why don't I want to go?" Ryan whispers, "I can think of a reason." And that reason is a kiss! She looks happy, and the camera pans back inside the hotel room to the telephone on the bed; we hear Eddie's frustrated voice saying, "Hello? Hello? Theresa, you there? Theresa?" Oops.
time on The O.C., Luke calls Lady Heather "hot," and Jimmy looks suspicious; Caleb enlightens Kirsten about Uncle Sean; Marissa can't compete with Theresa; and Eddie beats on Ryan at a fancy party. Also, Anna's going back to Pittsburgh, but not before Seth chases her through the airport!