Previously on The O.C., recaps. Including one by the most funny Demian. Thank you, Demian, for, amongst other things, adoring Adam Brody so spectacularly!
Kitchen. The Big House. The camera pans over piles of food ready for preparation as Seth implores, "Mom. Mom! No. No recipes. Put them away." Kirsten argues that it's Ryan's first Thanksgiving in the house, and that they should make the meal as a family. In the background, Ryan looks on in curiosity, as Seth says he can't believe Kirsten's serious, and asks where Rosa (who has changed her name, evidently from "Rosie") is. In the same godforsaken place as China, probably. And by "some godforsaken place," I do mean "Chino." When Kirsten announces that there will be no Rosa, a gape-mouthed Seth (he's frequently gape-mouthed in this epi, by the way, but sometimes with good reason -- because there's one tongue or another wedged in there) stares while Ryan tilts his head to the side. Ryan's got the head-tilt down. Sandy looks equally concerned. The eyebrows do, also. Kirsten announces that she's ready for "this challenge," while an adorably argyle-bedecked Seth hunts for takeout menus. Kirsten whines at Sandy for backup, which he doesn't provide, asking instead whether she's sure she wants to do this. Kirsten, who is awfully well-dressed to stick her hands up a turkey butt, looks hurt as Seth emphatically insists that they're not going to ruin Thanksgiving. He waits for Thanksgiving! It's his favorite holiday, and "everyone knows this!" Ryan pipes up to say that his family was never into the holidays. Kirsten announces that it's all the more reason to make this one special. Seth waves his arms around in a show of frustration as Kirsten asks if they have any pans anywhere, leading Sandy to comment, "Not inspiring a lot of confidence, darling." Aw, with the "darling." And Adam Brody, Ben McKenzie, and Peter Gallagher, by the way, would constitute a paralyzing game of "Marry, Screw, or Kill."
Seth continues, "You know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving? Which is often? I dream about eating so much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out at the table. Please don't deny me that!" Ryan mumbles, "That's just weird," and the two exchange funny looks. Kirsten, meanwhile, has located a pan, and walks toward the turkey, uncertainly guessing they should start with that. She makes a series of confused, grunting noises, and then gingerly picks up the carcass by its feet. If turkeys even have feet, that is. Last Thanksgiving, my friend was talking about the diminishing mental capacity of her grandmother and told us as proof, "She thinks turkeys have four legs." And I was all, "They don't?" So I'm not one to talk, but regardless, I'm down with said Thanksgiving deliciousness. Sandy watches in amusement and tells Seth, "Aw. That's just how she held you as a baby." Hee. Looking not entirely pleased still to be touching the turkey, Kirsten conjectures that they should "um, start basting." Ryan peeks around to watch her, and his expressions in this scene are priceless. Sandy's had enough and rushes to say that he'll baste. When Kirsten asks if he's sure, he responds, "Oh, I love to baste. You know that." Ryan beats Kirsten to her target, the cranberries; he claims he loves them and, as proof, pops one in his mouth. Kirsten announces that she'll peel the potatoes then, and Seth practically shoves her out of the way, claiming the peeler and announcing that "there's [sic] few things as therapeutic as peeling a potato." Kirsten whines over what she's supposed to do, and Sandy suggests that she set the table; Seth echoes that it's a good idea. The conversation is interrupted by the phone, and Kirsten volunteers to get it. The men are pleased to keep her occupied, and Seth agrees that she should answer it: "It's not gonna answer itself." Sandy shakes his head, grins, and insists, "You own the phone."
Kirsten answers and looks confused; she then agrees to accept the charges and announces that it's Trey, causing Seth to momentarily cease peeling. Ryan slowly takes the phone from Kirsten and heads into the hallway to talk to his brother. Seth absentmindedly resumes peeling as Kirsten expositions that Trey is calling from jail; Sandy further backstories that he's got "an impressive record" and will be there for a while. In response to Seth's question, Sandy reveals that he hasn't ever met Trey. Kirsten sadly says she's gotten so used to having Ryan in the family, she's forgotten he has a family of his own. The Cohens exchange concerned looks.
Ryan takes the call from the hallway staircase and greets Trey, "Hey, bro." We don't hear Trey's side of the conversation -- only Ryan imploring, "What? Today? It's Thanksgiving, Trey!" He knows it's been a long time, but it's just.... His voice trails off and he asks if their mother is going to see Trey; I'm guessing the answer is no, since Ryan unenthusiastically concedes, claiming he wants to see Trey because it's been too long. Ryan hangs up and sits very still. He's got that down, too.
Ryan returns to the kitchen, where Sandy cheerily asks, "How's Trey?" He explains that Trey wants a visit because it's the holidays, and that he doesn't want to be alone. Sandy points out that Ryan can't exactly blame him, and Kirsten asks if Ryan intends to go. Ryan admits that he does: it's only an hour away, so he could help the Cohens, head down to Chino, and still be back by dinner. Sandy sweetly rallies to say it's great that he'll get to see his brother. No one else -- especially Ryan -- looks convinced.
Credits. In honor of Thanksgiving, substitute "gobble" for "tinkle."
Back from commercial, we're still in the kitchen. Seth ponders the fact that people actually make stuffing, and Ryan asks what he thought. Seth's all, "I didn't!" He announces that Ryan needs to leave soon, and Ryan insists that he's first got to finish the stuffing and the gravy and the candied yams. Candied yams? Ryan makes candied yams? Seth points out that if Ryan can find enough to cook in the three to five years, Trey will be out and he won't need to go visit. Ryan moans that Trey just wants something from him -- a favor, or money. He laughs off Seth's suggestion that maybe Trey just wants to see his family at Thanksgiving, claiming that Seth doesn't know Trey. Seth earnestly agrees that he doesn't, because Ryan doesn't talk about him. Ryan says, "Well, I'll talk about him!" Seth insists that Trey is Ryan's brother; he pauses and sweetly offers to accompany Ryan because he'd like to meet Trey. Ryan rebuts that he wouldn't, actually. Seth says, "Well. Legally, Ryan, we're all like brothers now." Aw. Ryan counters that someone needs to keep Kirsten away from the food, and besides, Seth has Anna coming over. Seth pertly agrees, "Yes, I do."
Outside The Big House. Sandy grills corn as he and Kirsten try to be optimistic about how the visit will affect Ryan; Sandy suggests that Ryan "needs to do this." Kirsten jumps off her perch to "get in there, do some flipping," but Sandy quickly pushes her back insisting, "Oh, no. Honey. Honey. Seth really likes corn!" Hee. Kirsten pleadingly asks how he expects her to get better, and he's all, "I don't!" He reveals that he and the boys (aw! "The boys"!) made a pact. Kirsten's all, "A pact?" and Sandy clarifies, "A solemn promise." They made the pact while she was in the bathroom, he explains, because while he's all in favor of her "expanding [her] horizons," today they have guests who expect that food will actually be served. Speaking of which, Kirsten asks if Sandy had a chance to tell Rachel about Jimmy. He didn't, but did she tell Jimmy about Rachel? She didn't do it either, because Jimmy is freaked out enough on his first Thanksgiving without his wife. Which is a perfectly good reason to foist any other woman on him -- never mind the on-the-floor-crawling monstrosity that is Rachel -- during an intimate holiday at your home at which they will be the only non-family attendees. Sandy kids that Jimmy will have less indigestion this year "unlike [Kirsten's] father, who will probably be in agony." Kirsten can't believe Caleb's having Thanksgiving with Lady Heather, "because he's never had it with us." Sandy, however, has no complaints. Seth appears in the doorway and points out to Kirsten that she's "uncomfortably close to the corn right now. Can we back up a little bit?" Hee. Sandy also finds this funny.
Meanwhile, at Jimmy's Non-Beautiful Blue Bachelor Pad, Marissa whines that she should have just gone to her grandmother's house with Caitlyn, because she really doesn't want to go to Lady Heather's. Jimmy insists that it will just be for an hour, and Marissa further pouts over spending Thanksgiving with Caleb, whom she deems "creepy." Jimmy insists that he's not creepy, "he's just...he's just...scary." Marissa narrates that Caleb is dating her mother, a fact of which Jimmy is "well aware." Marissa asks whether that's not weird for him, and Jimmy insists that Lady Heather's moving on, and so is he. Marissa happily asks if that's true, and Jimmy slows down to admit, not exactly; what with the fraud charges and the bankruptcy and the joblessness, he's "not exactly a catch." Not to mention the bizarre and possibly compulsive face-rubbing. He adds, "Feel free to disagree," but then gets serious: regardless of the current weirdness, Lady Heather is still Marissa's mom, and Lady Heather loves her. Marissa feebly agrees, but makes doubtful faces.
Back at The Big House, Seth fusses with his comic books up in his room. Ryan points out that Trey doesn't even read comics, which Seth thinks is because he hasn't seen the new Titans. Ryan glances at it and asks for Legion, which he claims is "kinda cooler." Seth points out that Trey's in prison, and asks, "I mean, have you seen Oz? I'm sure that'll be fine." Ryan flips the unwanted comic book in Seth's direction, and Seth agrees that the other new one is indeed cooler. Ryan looks around the room and zeroes right in on a bottle of cologne, which he sprays vigorously around himself. And I'm sure that goes over well in the prisons. Seth swats at him with the comic and insists, "Easy on my eau de toilette. Please." Hee. Ryan didn't know Seth wore cologne, and Seth acts outraged as says he's sorry for "tryin' to step it up a notch." He laughs and concedes, "Just today." Ryan suggests that it's because Anna's coming over, and Seth's all, "What? Ahhh. No. Why would you -- I mean, why would you even -- where, you, I, I, I, Anna? Are you totally uh, uh, uh, I don't even -- I don't -- I couldn't. No." That was the hardest sentence I've ever recapped. But well worth it. Ryan stares at him silently for a moment before concluding, "You like her." Seth unconvincingly insists that he doesn't, and asks what makes Ryan even think that. Ryan asks what the problem is, because Anna's both cool and into him. Seth deliberates, and then announces that he needs Ryan's advice, making him promise not to tell anyone. He reveals that, the other night on Caleb's yacht, "Summer attacked [Seth] with her lips." Hee. Ryan furrows his eyebrows as Seth explains that Summer swore if he told anyone she'd kill him -- which, he says, is an "interesting take on romance." Seth complains that for the first sixteen years of his life, he had no women, and now he's got two. Ryan jokes that he feels really bad for Seth, and Seth sarcastically thanks him. Ryan grins, "No. Seriously, man. Tough, tough problem to have." Seth liked it better when Ryan had no sense of humor.
The doorbell rings. It's Marissa's legs, and they're wearing a very, very short skirt. They're also wearing Marissa. She towers over both Sandy and Kirsten as she and Jimmy awkwardly hug and kiss their hosts. Sandy may or may not check out Marissa as she passes by. She makes a beeline for Ryan, whispering that she wanted to stop by before she went to Lady Heather's, to see if he wanted to "talk." She conveys the quotation marks surprisingly well with her voice. He's all, "Your pool house or mine?" Jimmy, meanwhile, hands over a bottle of wine and announces that it's "a twist-off, so...that's classy, right?" Sandy jokes that he's outdone himself. Jimmy small-talks that it's a big day -- Thanksgiving -- are they excited? Kirsten announces that she is and asks, "New shirt?" Jimmy confusedly examines himself before admitting that it is. Sandy observes that it's a "tuck-in," and Jimmy's all, "Apparently." Kirsten nervously wrings her hands as she adds, "And you wore your hair, like, uh, like this?" Jimmy responds, "I wasn't aware that I.... Do I wear my hair any way?" Hee. He's on to them, and attempts to confirm that it's just the Cohens and himself for Thanksgiving. Sandy changes the subject, announcing that he's a "fan of the tuck-in." A horrified-looking Kirsten pipes up, "And your hair looks good," before scurrying after Sandy, leaving behind the baffled Jimmy.
Pool house. Smoochy noises. Marissa pulls away; she has to go because Lady Heather's waiting, but she'll be back in an hour. Ryan says that's great, but that he'll be back by 8. She asks where he's going, and he explains about Trey. She thought he was in prison. Ryan explains that he is, but that he wants Ryan to drive down for a visit. Marissa asks if Ryan wants her to go with him, and he insists that he's okay without her, which makes her inappropriately perky, for some reason. His back is to her, so she's not privy to the series of extremely pained faces he makes as Marissa continues to push the issue. When she claims that she wants to see where he's from and where he lived, he counters that she should be with her mom. She whines that she feels like he had this whole other life she doesn't know anything about, and he says it's better this way. When Marissa argues that it's not, Ryan snaps, "Yes, it is!" Marissa recoils, and Ryan backpedals that it's not his life anymore, so it doesn't matter, right? They kiss. She leaves. As he watches her go, the expression on his face slowly changes from happiness to blankness to worry.
Doorbell. Quirky music. It's Rachel, also bearing wine. She rushes past Kirsten to greet Sandy enthusiastically. Then she and Kirsten awkwardly manage a hug. Rachel walks through the house, all, "Well. So this is the uh, uh, the summer cottage. For weekend getaways?" Sandy translates for Kirsten that this means "'nice house' in Rachel." Jimmy enters looking shlubby. Rachel and Jimmy introduce themselves to each other and agree that they already met. Sandy tells them to sit. They sit. Kirsten and Sandy stare. Rachel and Jimmy stare. Awkward silence. Quirky music. Kirsten has to check something in the kitchen, and Sandy's all, "As do I."
In the kitchen, Sandy announces, "We suck!" and Kirsten laments that they were not very smooth. Sandy told her it was a bad idea! Kirsten says he didn't! In the background, Seth's all, "I don't wanna know. Don't care." Hee. Ryan enters and announces that he's taking off. Sandy hands over his cell phone, and then asks if Ryan's all right; Kirsten cautiously asks if he wants anyone to go with him, but Ryan insists that he's okay. Kirsten gives Ryan her car keys, and announces that she has "a little something" for Trey. She pulls a pie out of the fridge, but can you even bring a prisoner a pie? As Ryan stares at it, Kirsten tells him not to worry, because it's store-bought. Ryan smiles and accepts it. Seth walks him to the kitchen door; they clasp hands, and Seth goes in for the manly back pat/hug. Ryan's all, "Oooh, wooowoooow," and backs away. Seth's all, "What? Too much? Seriously? Did I -- did I put too much on?" ["We recently had to have this conversation with our nephew, who now lives with us, when we caught him buying Axe Deodorant Body Spray at the grocery store. Because, no." -- Wing Chun] Ryan just smiles and exits, leaving Seth to turn to his parents and announce, "So did you guys hear that Ryan's funny now? Ha ha ha." Cute.
Outside, Ryan opens the car door, and finds Marissa's legs waiting in the passenger seat. They're going with him! Marissa claims that her mom said it was okay; Ryan is doubtful, but Marissa insists that Lady Heather is trying to stay on Marissa's good side these days. Ryan still looks wary, and says he doesn't know. Marissa does! He mulls it over while shaking his head, and then gets in the car and hands her the pie. She's happy as a leggy clam. He puts the car into gear. They're off.
Man with gun. Watchtower. Ryan and his pie enter the prison yard, followed by Marissa's legs. Oh. And Marissa? As my friend Dan used to say, "Here's a quarter -- go buy yourself the rest of that skirt." Ryan looks uncomfortable; Marissa looks perky, and like she's wearing a really short skirt. They walk past the requisite big fat prisoner and then locate Trey, who from here on will be known as Treyelle, since he closely resembles what Trishelle would look like after an unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on how you look at it) mountain-biking accident. Treyelle greets Ryan as "little brother," and Marissa grins her "hello." The brothers hug, and agree that it's good to see each other, although Ryan's head hangs low in embarrassment. Marissa finally realizes that this is not the place for a girlfriend of one week, and excuses herself. She walks about two feet away, plants herself on a bench facing the Atwoods, and stares at them. Ryan apologizes for not coming by earlier, and Treyelle excuses him because he's been busy; Treyelle then observes that Ryan's done pretty well for himself. Ryan asks how Treyelle's doing, and Treyelle soberly responds, "Not so good." Ryan curtly asks what he needs, and Treyelle yelps that Ryan shouldn't say it like that; can't a guy just see his brother on Thanksgiving? Ryan's all, "You tell me," and Treyelle snaps at him to forget it. He then pauses for a few seconds before admitting that he didn't want to call Ryan, but that he's in trouble. When he got arrested, he owed people money -- six thousand dollars -- which he has since lost. Ryan asks how he lost that kind of money, and Treyelle's all, "I'm an Atwood, bro. You know our luck!" He explains that his debtors have friends on the inside, and that it's only going to get worse for him. But Ryan doesn't have that kind of money! And Treyelle's not asking for money! So what is Treyelle asking for!?
Back in the car, Marissa and Ryan drive in silence. Finally, Marissa asks if Ryan can even tell her where they're going. He says they're going to the bus station, because she's going home. She tries to argue with him, and he angrily announces that he has to pick up a stolen car and drop it off at chop shop to pay off a debt. Marissa cheerily echoes, "A stolen car?" After Ryan says she now knows why she can't come, she starts to point out what will happen if he gets caught. He cuts her off to say that Treyelle's his brother, so Ryan doesn't have a choice. She doesn't either, she says, because she's not leaving Ryan. He stares at her sideways. They drive past an alley, where the camera lingers.
Back at The Big House, Kirsten and Sandy are busy mocking their own child. Kirsten scoffs, "Can you believe Seth has a girl coming over?" and Sandy's all, "I know!" Anna, wearing a leopard-print jacket and a shirt with a giant bow on it, enters in time (presumably) to hear the tail end of the conversation. She pertly asks how she can help, and the Cohens greet her enthusiastically and rebuff her offer, claiming that they're doing fine and just "workin' away." Seth's all, "Okay, if by 'we' you're referring to yourself, then somebody violated the pact." His voice cracks cutely on the "pact" part. Kirsten claims that she's merely opening the wine -- a skill which she feels very confident about -- and Seth's all, "No argument here." In the meantime, Anna is left on her own to take off and store her coat, which she shoves it in a nook above the microwave. Which is just strange. Sandy asks what Anna's deal is; don't her parents believe in "celebrating the genocide of the American Indian?" Anna snips, "Hardly," and then reveals that her parents went back to Pittsburgh to have dinner with the rest of the clan. Kirsten asks why she didn't want to go, and Anna explains that it's challenging to sit at a table with "the Sterns of Pittsburgh" and maintain an appetite. Kirsten looks concerned as Anna adds that it's "sort of an anathema to the whole spirit of Thanksgiving." Sandy, however, perks right up upon hearing the word "anathema." His head snaps around and he mouths at Seth, "'Anathema'!" He points at Anna and mouths the word again, even more enthusiastically, while making encouraging hand gestures at Seth. Having been rifling through the Cohens' cabinets, evidently, Anna turns around to reveal an armful of cornflakes, sweet potatoes, marshmallows, which cause Seth to conclude, "Suddenly...suddenly not so hungry." She perts that all he'll be eating is his words. Seth grins, and then notices Kirsten watching him, while Sandy walks over to rub Seth's shoulders. Seth looks happy and proud and abashed all at the same time. Anna over-enunciates, "Seth, a little help, please!" and he joins her at the sink where she's scrubbing up, and then sneaks adoring glances her way.
Outside. Grille. Rachel drinks wine and yells because Sandy is trying to set her up with Jimmy Cooper! Sandy claims that's crazy, and Rachel agrees that it is, because the man is a white-collar criminal! Sandy's all, "A nice one." Rachel asks how desperate he thinks she is, and Sandy stares at her until she tells him not to answer that question. Sandy claims that Jimmy's a good guy, but Rachel's stuck on the he-steals- from-his-friends part. Sandy points out that since she's a lawyer and Jimmy's a thief, they're a perfect match. Rachel considers this, and then suggests that Sandy doesn't want to deal with what's going on between herself and him. Sandy claims that there's nothing going on -- they're co-workers and friends, and that's it. Sandy changes the subject back to Jimmy -- insisting that he's cool, funny, and attractive -- but Rachel's still all, "It's not happenin', Sandy."
Inside The Big House, the same conversation is going on. Jimmy urges Kirsten to admit that the whole thing is a set-up, but Kirsten would rather discuss whether to use orange or brown candles. Jimmy urges her just to say it; she looks guilty.
Rachel clickety-clacks through the immense, Louvre-resembling hallway toward the sound of the television, where she finds Jimmy. They both rush to be clear that neither knew, in Jimmy's words, about "the, uh, you know the --" With that awkwardness out of the way, Rachel and Jimmy are both more comfortable, and turn toward the game on the television. Just as Jimmy starts yelling at the players to "break that tackle, baby!," Rachel takes the opposite position, rooting for the other team to "kill 'em!" Jimmy's side prevails as he emits an incredibly enthusiastic "Good. Go. All. The. Waaaaay!" as Rachel flops back in dismay. She watches him and concludes, "Dolphins fan?" He disbelievingly questions that she's for the Cowboys, and she professes, "Obsessed." He thinks it looks like they've got a game after all, and she's all flirty: "Yeah, we do."
Kirsten and Sandy giggle their way into the kitchen to find Anna sweetly cajoling Seth to sample something off a spoon. He resists, claiming that it's "two-week-old gravy." The parentals watch proudly, and then turn their attention toward the living room, where Rachel and Jimmy are bonding over the "soothing" nature of ESPN Classics. Jimmy and Kirsten clink glasses. Doorbell.
It's Caleb and Lady Heather, the latter of whom may or may not be wearing a pilgrim costume. Sandy greets them zealously: "Ah, the gruesome twosome!" He just cracks me up. Kirsten translates that it means, "uh, 'Happy Thanksgiving' in Sandy." Lady Heather snits that the caterer's truck broke down with their "entire Thanksgiving feast," and explains that they came by to tell Marissa that they're going out to eat. She stomps into the house as an annoyed Kirsten says, "Except that she's not here." Caleb's all, "Or, we could just eat here." He dismissively asks if Kirsten minds, and then follows Lady Heather inside, announcing, "Football's on!" Sandy snidely tells him to make himself at home, and Caleb more snidely responds, "Why not? It's mine." He makes a show of handing off his jacket for Sandy to hang up; I'm surprised he didn't wait for Sandy to reach for it and then drop it on the ground.
Lady Heather charges through the house, looking for Marissa. She doesn't understand! If Marissa's not there, where is she? With Ryan? Kirsten explains that he left that morning for home, and neither seems to put it together that Marissa's been gone, oh, exactly that long. Lady Heather rounds the corner into the living room, stopping short upon seeing Jimmy and Rachel. Jimmy's all, "[Lady Heather]," and Lady Heather's all, "Jimmy," and Rachel's all, "Rachel." Hee. Lady Heather impolitely acknowledges her, and then Caleb appears, plants himself on a chair, and asks, "What's the score?" Kirsten downs her glass of wine.
Gray-toned ChinoCam. Ryan drives while Marissa looks out the window like she's at the zoo. She asks, "So this is your old neighborhood?" much as one would ask, "So that's what it looks like when hippopotami mate?" They make their way up the porch of a rundown house (the "rundown" part, of course, goes without saying, given that they're in Chino), and Ryan knocks on a door. A woman/girl enters and greets him all cool. In response, Ryan shifts around and says, "Teresa. Hi." He asks for Arturo, and she can't believe he wants her "stupid brother," without saying where the hell he's been for the last five months. She smiles at his stuttered nothings, and then turns to appraise Marissa, asking, "Who's this?" Marissa introduces herself, and Teresa concludes, "So this is your new girlfriend?" Marissa asks, "Oh, so you two were..." and Teresa cuts her off to say they were "off and on," and that they grew up together -- she was the girl door. Marissa's all, "So am I." Ryan's had enough and announces, "Yeah. Arturo." Teresa thinks he's around, and turns to get him. Ryan tells Marissa he'll explain later; Marissa cheerily follows Teresa inside while Ryan shakes his head.
Inside, we learn that while in Orange County, they have lovely yet tasteful floral arrangements on Thanksgiving (and unlovely and distasteful giant lemon-lime arrangements the rest of the year), in Chino they have only sad, sad tissue-paper turkeys. Teresa enters and tells a woman who's setting the table, "Look who I found." The woman -- presumably Teresa and Arturo's mom -- happily greets Ryan and asks where he's been. The bigger question is where was she when he desperately needed help which no one would provide. She points out that she hasn't seen his mom in a while, and he admits that he hasn't either. She also asks about Trey, and Ryan reveals that Trey is why Ryan's there. Arturo has been successfully retrieved, and deduces that Ryan's there for the car. And if this is supposed to prove that there are indeed loving parents in Chino, then why is the mother just standing by, calmly listening to her son talk about moving stolen cars? Arturo and Ryan greet each other with hugs; Arturo then notices Marissa, whom Teresa snidely identifies as "his girlfriend." Arturo announces that they should get started, because it might take a while to get the engine going. Marissa tells Ryan to go ahead without her: she'll hang out inside, where it's nice and awkward. Ryan looks wary. Teresa's mom proposes that Marissa help them cook, and Teresa -- wearing the biggest hoop earrings I have ever seen -- suggests that Marissa probably doesn't cook because she's got maids for that.
Back at The Big House, Jimmy and Lady Heather argue. Jimmy insists that he doesn't know where Marissa is, and Lady Heather concludes, "So you lost her." Jimmy points out that Marissa's supposed to be at Lady Heather's house, so technically, she lost her. At that moment, Rachel enthuses over a good play, and Lady Heather shoots the dagger-eyed stare of death her way.
In the kitchen, Kirsten moans that Caleb and Lady Heather can't stay. Sandy agrees, because Julie's going to "blow [their] whole Jimmy/Rachel thing," andding, "All our hard work for nothin'." Sandy's getting all the hee this episode. Just as Kirsten asks who Caleb thinks he is, he enters the kitchen, leading Sandy to exclaim, "Are you leavin'? Well, it was good to see ya!" Seth greets his grandfather, asking if he remembers Anna. When Caleb's unnecessarily rude in his response -- "How could I forget?" -- Anna tips a serving spoon in his direction. Seth uncomfortably concludes, "All right!"
Caleb knows that Kirsten is upset with him, and suggests that they should talk. Kirsten insists that it's okay, and that she's not upset anymore, so no talk is needed. She heads away; when he attempts to follow, Anna intercepts him to ask if he owns The Heights. Caleb groans, "Not you, too?" Undeterred, Anna continues, "I was just wondering. How do you feel about building a huge development that only pollutes and destroys hallowed ground?" Sandy hovers happily in the background and tells Caleb, "Oh, that's quite a message you're sending to the youth of Orange County." Caleb complains that Anna hasn't read his report; does she even know they're building the estuary? Sandy snits that it won't go far enough, and Anna adds that it's "a Band-Aid for a bullet wound." Caleb's all, "Oh, really." And Sandy's all, "Really!" Hee. Doorbell. Seth -- anxious to remove himself from the conversation -- volunteers, "Oh, I'll tell you what, I'll get that."
Seth is surprised to find Summer at the door, and asks what she's doing there. She explains that she's "tryin' to have Thanksgiving," and was supposed to meet Marissa at her house. And how considerate of Marissa to dis her best friend like that on a holiday! Summer adds that there's no way she was eating with her stepmother: "Why does she need tryptophan? She's on Valium." Seth shiftily says that some of the Coopers are there, but that he doesn't know where Marissa is. Summer suggests that while she's there, they should talk. Seth's all, "Yes. What. Should. We talk about?" Summer replies, "About what didn't happen on the yacht." She asks if he's going to invite her in, and he suggests that they discuss it in the pool house, "'cause that's gonna work for me." Seth further suggests that they walk around the front of the house to get there, because they just put in some new gardenias and he thinks Summer will "be impressed."
Wacky drums play quietly, and then get louder. Summer opens the doors of the pool house, and looks around nervously. The drums are joined by jazzy horns. She suddenly throws her purse off her shoulder and turns to Seth, who's entering the pool house still rambling, "Hmm. It's weird. 'Cause they said those gardenias should've been in bloom by, like, Thanksgiving." She shoves him against the wall, takes his shocked face in her hands, and kisses him. When they finally break, he's all happy: "Hey! What's goin' on?" Summer quickly says, "I just can't help it. And I certainly can't explain it." Hee. She asks whether he told anyone, and repeats that if he did, she'll kill him. He believes her. They kiss some more. Seth stops and asks Summer if she'd mind waiting a few seconds: "I've got some green beans that I really need to go check on." Summer's all, "You're passing me up. For beans." Seth pauses, stares, and laughingly shakes it off: "No!" More kissing.
Chino. Marissa zeroes in on something on the fridge. She sticks her nose right up to it, and asks if it's Ryan. Actually, it's meatloaf, but we all know Marissa's never seen one of those before. Actually, it is Ryan, and Teresa's mom asks, "You mean Snoopy?" She explains that it's from the kids' eighth-grade musical, You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. That's funny -- I see Seth as more the Snoopy type. Mrs. Teresa reveals that Teresa was Peppermint Patty; and Marissa laughingly deduces that Ryan was Snoopy. Duh. Isn't that what Mrs. Teresa just said? In any case, the mom says that Ryan was talented, and Marissa is incredulous that Ryan did musicals. Teresa explains that he quit when they got to high school. So I suppose they all moved together from Fresno to Chino? Marissa admires Teresa's dress in another photo, and Teresa explains that it's from when she and Ryan went to last year's winter dance. If you look at the photo, by the way, Teresa's all done up while Ryan wears an unbuttoned, possibly denim shirt over an undershirt. I suppose Teresa was just happy it had sleeves. Teresa wistfully says it was a crazy night, and that she and Ryan used to get in all kinds of trouble. She stops smiling to announce sadly that Ryan just left. Does Marissa know that? He was there one day, and day his house was empty. When Marissa conjectures that Ryan didn't plan any of it, Teresa's not having it; she insists that he could have called. She knew him her whole life and grew up with him, but she guesses she doesn't know him at all. Marissa stares at the picture, all, "Well, what about me? I thought he was cool! And now I find out he was Snoopy?"
Outside, Arturo unveils the car and calls it "hot." He says that Treyelle must owe someone a lot of money, because the guy at the chop shop is crazier than Treyelle. He asks why Ryan's doing Treyelle's "bitch work,"adding that although Treyelle was Arturo's best friend, "the guy's trouble." Arturo insists that Ryan doesn't have to do it; he can just go back to his new life, because what's Trey gonna do? Some best friend he is. Ryan suggests that they just get the car running.
The Big House. Rachel and Jimmy are still sitting on the couch, now separated by Lady Heather and Caleb. In the kitchen, Sandy tries to look at the positive, by saying that Kirsten's been trying to get Caleb to come for years. Kirsten snits that he only came because his food didn't show up and the game is on! She chugs another glass of wine, and Sandy suggests that she might want to slow down, because she's drinking on an empty stomach. She orders him not to judge her, yelping, "Don't tell me to slow down; tell him to hit the bricks!" Sandy's all, "'Hit the bricks?' Who talks like that?" She recaps that she has a family who won't let her cook for dinner; a father who's using her for her candied yams, and they are out of merlot! Anna -- who has apparently been there the whole time -- pops up behind them and awkwardly asks if they want privacy. A flustered Sandy turns around to stare; Anna skitters out.
Meanwhile, Seth scurries back inside the house, turning to find Anna. She asks where he's been, and he lies that Ryan asked him to feed his sea monkeys while he's away. Anna's all, "Ryan has sea monkeys?! I love those things!" She enthusiastically flounces toward the door on her way to see them, but Seth grabs her arm, announcing, "You know what, though? You can't see 'em. Because they're dead." She visibly deflates as he continues, "Yeah. Suicide. You know how hard the holidays can be." Anna recovers from this weirdness, and points out that since the pool house is empty, maybe they could take some alone time together. Aw. She's kind of cute sometimes. But the other times she's really, really annoying. Seth nods, agrees, and says, "Yeah, let's do that. Let's do that in my room." She's confused, but goes anyway. Seth prods her along with a hand on her back while sneaking a glance behind them for Summer.
Anna prances into his room, all, "Huh!" as the jaunty music starts up again. Anna's all, "So. This is your bedroom," and slinks toward Seth. He agrees that it is. She narrows her eyes and slinks closer. He licks his lips. She moves in for the kiss, which he ducks out of at the last second, saying, "Have you met Captain Oats yet? I don't think you have." He grabs Captain Oats off the desk and makes a horse noise. It's not a "neigh." I'm not quite sure what it is. Anna laughs as Seth wiggles Captain Oats in her face, and then suggests that he didn't bring her up to his room to introduce her to Captain Oats. He's all, "No, I didn't," and she's all, "That's what I thought." They kiss, and Captain Oats -- still clutched in Seth's hand -- hovers and bobs right behind Anna's head. The music crescendos, sounding like the score of a horror movie. Suddenly, Seth mutters, "I have cauliflower...steaming." Anna is perplexed as Seth heads off, offering to "leave [her] here with Captain Oats to get acquainted."
Seth seeks harbor in the Beautiful Blue Bedroom to call Ryan for help, but Ryan is dealing with his own girl dilemma. Seth rambles, "Despite what the Penthouse letters might suggest, two girls and one guy ah, ah, no, no...It's not really all it's cracked up to be." Ryan knows. He asks if he can call Seth back when he and Marissa hit the road. Seth's surprised that Marissa's there, and reveals that Lady Heather has been looking for her. He agrees to call Ryan back. Meanwhile, Teresa and Marissa giggle conspiratorially and look at Ryan.
Kitchen. The Big House. Kirsten drunkenly blends margaritas. Seth approaches behind her and whispers that Marissa is with Ryan. Kirsten can't hear him, nor can she, apparently, stop the blender. He tries to tell her again, and she finally pauses the blender at the exact moment he yells, "I said Marissa is in Chino!" His voice echoes through the house, leading him to conclude, "Wow. That actually happens in real life." Lady Heather clomps into the kitchen, all, "What? What did you say?" Seth flails an attempt at covering, telling her, "Yeah, no. I said that Marissa has my chinos. I love those pants." Hee. Caleb concludes that they'll be there a while, and asks if Kirsten is ready to talk. She's not, but she is ready for "fresh margs."
Back in Chino, Ryan lingers to say goodbye to Teresa. They agree that they'll see each other again, and Teresa wishes him luck. She turns to head inside, but Ryan stops her to apologize. She looks hopeful, and says she's sorry too, because "this place isn't as fun as it used to be." They smile and look at each other, and then Teresa waves at Marissa.
In the car, Marissa asks why Ryan didn't tell her "there was a Teresa." Ryan counters by asking why she didn't tell him about her mom. He yells that they have already been through enough, and now Marissa's putting this on him? Marissa argues that she didn't put anything on him, and he angrily asks whom she thinks Lady Heather will blame? Marissa claims that she'll explain it to Lady Heather, and Ryan snits that he never should have brought her; Marissa insists that she's not going to let him do this alone. He's all, "So you're my wheel man now?" He hands her the keys and dismissively tells her to go back to Newport; he'll take the bus. She attempts to argue, but he's all, "This is not a conversation. You lied to me." Marissa stomps off. Ryan watches her stomp off.
Back from commercial with the jazzy music. Summer lies on top of Seth as they make out on Ryan's bed. Struggling to unbutton Seth's shirt, Summer asks, "What is up with this shirt, Cohen? Is it, like, childproof?" He rolls her over and smoothly suggests, "Why don't you let me do that?" She commends him: "Way to take charge, Cohen." He's all sweetly rumpled and dazed and smiley throughout this scene. I kind of love him. Summer and Seth kiss more. He stops and pulls back, clearly unable to stop smiling. Summer asks if she has lipstick on her mouth or something; Seth says she doesn't, and then leans in for more kissing. He stops again and looks her over; they giggle together as she asks, "What?" He concludes, "This is happening." They begin to kiss again, but she grows visibly, increasingly agitated, and then snaps, "What do you mean this is happening?" She aggressively shoos him off the bed, and he tumbles to the floor. She emphatically states that it can't be happening; he says it can and just was, and that he was "expressing awe and delight....which now will be replaced with a severe bruise. On [his] ass." Summer looks genuinely bewildered while Seth looks...well, sweaty. His lip is distractingly wet. Summer says she needs to think, or eat something, because she feels light-headed, and asks if they can go inside. He thinks he should go, because he's the host, and she's the guest, and so he should bring food to her because "that's really the most polite thing to do." Plus, Kirsten is cooking, "and that's something that nobody should witness." Not to mention Sandy is wearing an apron, which Seth says "falls into the same category." And then there's Caleb talking about politics, and nobody likes politics, especially when Caleb talks about it. Overall, Seth tells Summer, it's very tense inside the house, and he doesn't think Summer wants to get all tense right now; he tells her to "stay here where the relaxation is." He leaves. Summer sighs.
Kitchen. Lady Heather yells at Jimmy for allowing Marissa to go with Ryan, and Jimmy exclaims that he had no idea! Lady Heather snits that that's encouraging, and Caleb jumps in to ask what kind of father doesn't know where his daughter is. Kirsten can't believe he's serious, and Caleb replies that he may be a lot of things, but a bad parent is not one of them. Sandy suggests, "Destroyer of the environment!" and Rachel chirps, "Tyrannical land baron!" Lady Heather tells Rachel to stay out of it, asking what she's even doing there. Kirsten slurs that Rachel is their guest, unlike some people. Lady Heather is surprised that Kirsten now has standards about whom she lets into the house, and Kirsten acts what that's supposed to mean. Lady Heather pointedly says that Marissa wouldn't be in Chino right now if she hadn't met someone from Chino. Sandy argues that Ryan's not the problem, and Caleb agrees, instead blaming the "overzealous tree hugger that brought [Ryan] in." Lady Heather further proposes, "Or the irresponsible parent who's too busy trying to get laid on Thanksgiving." Jimmy replies, "Well excuse me for making up for lost time," and Rachel's all, "Well, excuse me?" Jimmy apologizes the comment away as "the heat of passion," and Lady Heather snarks that it doesn't happen very often, causing Sandy to groan, "Oh people, please feel free to share." Kirsten offers up more drinks just as Seth enters. Sandy asks him to run out to the pool house and get something, but Seth rushes right back out of the room.
Seth hurries back up to his bedroom, posing alluringly in the door. Anna lies on the bed and explains that she's beating Captain Oates at Jenga; she thinks it's his "lack of opposable thumbs that give [her] a certain advantage." Seth says it's getting a little weird in there; Anna pouts that he left her alone for so long that she was going a little crazy. Suddenly, they're lunging onto the bed together, sending Jenga pieces flying. Through their kiss, Seth mumbles, "You know Captain Oats is a sore loser anyway." He asks if he ever told her that Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday, and concludes, "Well, it is." Anna asks if he's hot in his sweater, and he says, "Yes, this is rather balmy." She suggests that he take it off, and Seth blabs that he was never a fan of it anyway, and that his mother picked it out. Her stops when she stares at him, and adds, "I dress myself; that's not true." As he goofily grins, they struggle to take off his sweater, and he wipes out again. Anna pops up over the side of the bed all Marilyn Monroe breathy and "Seth?" He says he's got two bruises now, and she's all "Two?" Still wrapped up in his sweater, Seth lies that he got the first one cooking: "Sweet potatoes just aren't as sweet as they used to be. Anymore. Speaking of which, I've left them unattended. I'm very neglectful. So I'll be right back." Seth feigns listening to Captain Oats, and then tells Anna that Captain Oats wants a rematch. As Seth leaves, Anna quietly asks Captain Oats if that's true.
Pool house, Summer comes out of the bathroom, hears a noise, and asks, "Back so soon?" before noticing that it's not Seth, but Sandy. She exclaims, "Ew!" and then continues, "Oh, uh. I mean. Not 'ew.' You're very attractive. For a dad." Sandy just stares at her in surprise. She delivers a perfect "OhmyGod" and hurries out of the room.
Chino alley. Stacks and stacks of tires. Wary Ryan rolls up to the chop shop, and a greazy guy walks over. Greazy identifies Ryan and says that the car is a "hot ride": he can't believe Treyelle pulled it off, though, because he's such a "stupid son of a bitch." Ryan asks what Greazy thinks, and Greazy asks what he's supposed to think about what. Ryan explains that if the car is okay, Greazy will take it, and Treyelle's off the hook. Greazy asks if that's the deal, and Ryan says that's what Treyelle told him. The guy calls out his equally greazy cronies, and announces that he's been waiting six months for this, and that "there's something called interest." The guy throws Ryan against a fence while his greazy backups stand around looking awfully greazy, but not particularly threatening. Still, Greazy himself is down with the ass-kicking, and Marissa rolls up -- happily honking the car's horn -- in the nick of time. Ryan runs to the car, hops in, and asks what the hell she's doing. She followed him!
Kitchen. The Big House. Everyone talks at once, but no one talks about the smoke pouring out of the oven.
In the pool house, Sandy and Seth have a man-to-adorable-man-child chat. Seth insists that he didn't plan on its happening, and Sandy attempts to keep a straight face as he commiserates that it's a difficult position to be in, because Anna is smart, funny, and adorable, while "Summer is...." Seth completes Sandy's thought: "Summer!" and Sandy's all, "Yeah!" Sandy berates Seth for leading the girls on, and orders him to be a man and tell Anna he likes Summer. Seth's all, "Except, well..." Sandy's eyes open wide as he concludes, "Well, then tell Summer you like Anna." Seth's all, "Again, not so sure." Their conversation is interrupted as Sandy leaps to his feet, smelling something burning.
In the kitchen, Rachel finally proves she's good for something, and points toward the oven. She and Kirsten run over as Kirsten realizes it's the turkey, which is now thoroughly blackened. Seth's all, "Come on, Mom!" and Caleb asks for takeout menus. Anna runs in and asks if everything is okay; Seth suggests that she meet him back upstairs. Then Summer enters, too, having heard the smoke alarm. The two girls stare at each other, bleating "Summer!" and "Anna!," and then a "Seth!" duet. Seth grins and concludes, "Holy awkward." Anna exclaims, "I kissed you!" and Seth implores, "I know." Summer yells, "I kissed you, too!" and Seth's all, "So true." Caleb chuckles while Lady Heather looks annoyed. Kirsten's pipes up, "I always knew you were a late bloomer, sweetie." Aw. As Anna stomps out, Seth asks her not to go. Summer bitches, "Oh, you don't want her to go?" and Seth replies, "No." Anna says, "No?" and Seth's all, "I mean, yes." Anna's had enough and leaves; Seth turns to Summer and says, "Okay, that was awkward with her here. Now finally she's gone." But Summer's done with him too, and Seth trails after her, trying to explain, "I have a disease." Hee. Oh, and Kirsten doesn't feel so good.
Jail. Colorless ChinoCam. Ryan tells Treyelle that the car has been delivered, the debt paid, and that's it. When he complains that he could have been arrested or killed, Treyelle apologizes, insisting that no one else would have done it for him. He gets it now, though; they're done. Ryan offers to come by and see him, but Treyelle tells him not to -- Ryan's got a chance now, and he needs to leave Chino behind. Ryan tells Treyelle to take care of himself, and a tearful Treyelle tells Ryan he should "jet," because he's got people waiting for him.
The car rolls past graffiti and billboards and orangutans in cages. Marissa looks pensive, as Ryan announces, "So that was Chino." Marissa never realized that when Ryan left, he left people behind. Ryan never wants to do that again, and Marissa smiles before telling he won't have to. She adds, "Snoopy." Marissa looks out the window. The scenery changes from Chino gray to Orange County blue. They pull into the driveway of The Big House.
In the Big Beautiful Blue Bedroom, Kirsten is passed out while Sandy cheerily eats Chinese food and watches her.
Downstairs on the couch, Rachel and Jimmy also eat Chinese food, and Rachel suggests that they watch a game some time. Jimmy stutters in agreement and she adds, "Well, when you're ready." Wait. Did that actually seem kind of...well, nice?
In the kitchen, Lady Heather and Caleb look genuinely happy together as they examine their meal. Marissa and Ryan enter, and Lady Heather anxiously confirms that Marissa's okay before scolding her for not saying where she was going. Marissa starts to explain, but Caleb cuts her off to remind Lady Heather that it's Thanksgiving. He offers the kids lo mein.
Back upstairs, Seth lies on the floor of his bedroom playing with Captain Oats and staring at the ceiling. Ryan and Marissa's legs enter bearing a big tray of Chinese food. When they ask what Seth's doing, he's all, "Not. Lying. With Captain Oats." Hee. Marissa asks why Seth's on the floor, and Seth says he figured he'd just end up there anyway, so he might as well cut out the middleman. Ryan concludes that Seth's accidental ménage à trois didn't go well; Seth concludes the same of Ryan's time in Chino, admiring his shiner. Marissa asks if they can sit with Seth and Captain Oats, and Seth's all, "Nothing says Thanksgiving like mu shu pork." He asks what Treyelle said, and Ryan responds, "Goodbye." Seth asks about Chino, but all Ryan can say is, "It's good to be home." Marissa leans over to rest her head on Ryan's shoulder and stare over at Seth, who smiles at her sweetly. She pinches Ryan's cheek and asks if Seth knew Ryan did musicals. Seth pauses with a mouthful of food, before deeming it "extremely minty" of Ryan. He shout-outs, "I didn't know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing. Or...or...laughter." Ryan snarks that it's because they never had anyone as funny as Seth, and Seth is happy that they finally agree that he's the funny one. As the camera pans out to show the four of them (Marissa, Ryan, Seth, and Captain Oats) sitting in a circle, we hear Seth conclude that it looks like they all learned some valuable lessons this Thanksgiving. The soundtrack softly proclaims, "With my brother and my sister standing by." And Captain Oats, of course.
time on The O.C., the creepy voice-over guy asks if we can keep a secret. The kind of secret that could destroy a family, Heads swing around in shock and dismay. The secret is out!