Previously on The O.C., there were recaps.
Seals bask on a rock. Yay! Seals! We pan over a view of the coast. Outside the Big House, nothing happens. Inside the Big House, Kirsten pours orange juice. This, evidently, is excitement, since orange juice place a big role in this episode. Actually, orange juice doesn't play a big role in this episode, but it should, since it's so heavily featured. Seth sips coffee, which is not orange juice. Blasphemy! Kirsten asks if Seth's excited for the first day of school, and he shoots her a dubious look. She shakes her head and jokes that she asks questions in the hopes of actually eliciting a response; Seth, however, feels he "convey[s] more with a look." He punctuates this statement with yet another adorable look, which Kirsten identifies as such. This comment doesn't please Seth, and he emphatically insists, "No." She continues, "Cute?" "No." "Dope?" "No." "Rad?" The "rad" is one maternal-attempt-at-coolness too much, and Seth begs her to stop; she apologizes and turns to ask the just-entered Sandy about his surfing excursion. He cut it short because he wanted to see the boys off to school. How very parent-of-a-kindergartner of him! He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge as Kirsten points out again that Seth looks "rad." Sandy agrees that he does, and then pounds his chest and says, "Mad props, son." Hee.
To Seth's relief, Ryan enters and breaks up the embarrassment fest; Seth asks if he's ready to go. Sandy will not be deterred from his goofiness, though, and asks if Ryan is excited; the camera zooms in on Ryan's skeptical expression and Sandy concludes, "Enough said." Sandy even sips water goofily. Peter Gallagher has equal ability in portraying both the cool and the cool-impaired. An amazed Seth wonders how Ryan manages to convey so much with just a look. Ryan turns the glare his way -- it's not quite "Blue Steel," so let's go with "Blue Plastic" -- and Seth concludes, "And again!" Ryan drinks orange juice as Kirsten asks if he's nervous. He asks why he would be, and Seth jumps in to explain, "Because we're going to school with, like, three hundred of Luke's [indistinguishable mumble] redeeming social qualities." Seriously, I listened to that about fifteen times and force my husband to do the same. I thought I was going to break my VCR from rewinding and replaying so much. In any case, Seth -- who slurps his coffee exactly in the way one would expect one with a lisp to do -- realizes that Ryan was being sarcastic. In response, Ryan pours himself some more orange juice.
Elsewhere in Orange County, more orange juice is being poured by Marissa, as Summer tells her not to be nervous about school. Marissa insists that she's not nervous; she's just not going! Summer -- apparently wearing an orange costume in honor of the episode's theme -- insists that Marissa has to go because she "own[s] the school." Summer asks about the "Kickoff Carnival," because Marissa's still the social chair. Marissa mock-considers her options: being humiliated in front of the entire school, or hiring someone to do balloon animals. Summer gasps and exclaims, "You have to hire the guy who makes the balloon octopus!" Hee. Summer gets serious to point out that Luke cheated on Marissa, and that she almost died in Mexico, and that Jimmy's in the middle of a financial scandal. Marissa cuts Summer off to ask if she's trying to make Marissa feel better, and so Summer gets to the actual point: there is no bad publicity. Suddenly, Marissa starts sniffing into the air like Pepé Le Pew following a visible plume of scent. She asks if something is burning, just as Jimmy carries in two plates, explaining that it's a new oven, so he hasn't quite figured out how to make French toast in it. Summer's all, "Not in the oven would be a good place to start." Hee. Jimmy is obviously overwhelmed as he explains that since no one will hire him and he has plenty of time, he's going to go out and buy a cookbook. ["Hey. Jimmy. You're in serious financial trouble. How about checking out a cookbook from the library, holmes?" -- Wing Chun] Jimmy encourages the girls to eat, insisting, "They're crunchy! See?" He clanks his fork against a turd-like piece of French toast. Marissa declines the offer, and Summer announces that she doesn't know whom she's more worried about. Jimmy proposes that it's safe to say this year will be different.
Against a foreground of oddly interposed green ceramic-ware and oversized oranges (mutant lemon-lime arrangement nowhere in sight), Kirsten echoes Jimmy's sentiment. Seth claims it's their annual "mantra," and yet every year "some big water-polo player ends up, uh, peein' in one of [Seth's] shoes." As Sandy stops to stare at him, Seth adds, "Nah, I'm just kidding. They pee in both." Uncomfortable with this disclosure, Seth changes the subject to Ryan, announcing that he has Mr. Schmidt for pre-calculus. Kirsten's head whips around in dismay while Sandy looks concerned. Ryan asks what's wrong with Mr. Schmidt, and Seth responds, "Say hi to his mole for me!" Sandy, all raised caterpillars, notes that at least Seth and Ryan have each other. Seth proclaims his dad "very wise," but Ryan concludes that they're doomed.
School. A bustling quad. I spot an unattractive dork-like person in the mix. How'd he get by the Orange County police? Seth and Ryan walk against the crowd as Seth announces that "the master race has been perfected and they all go to our school." Ryan is typically unresponsive. Seth greets some jocks as "fellas," and they ignore him except for one thirty-five-year-old monstrosity who throws him an elbow. Seriously, he's like that guy who played a high schooler on (in the Brenda years, no less ["and was even Brenda's date to the prom!" -- Wing Chun]), and then a high -chooler (albeit an undead one) on Buffy, like, ten years later. In any case, Seth assures their departing backs that it's all right, and that they shouldn't get their "Speedos in a bunch." Ryan announces that it's a nightmare.
Marissa is saying the same thing -- all these coincidences! -- as she and Summer enter the fray. Summer predicts that no one will know about Marissa, just as they walk past three gossipy girls who are speculating that Marissa "died down there" and "looks pretty good...for a dead girl." Summer spins and head-bobs, "Hey, whores. Why don't you go work another corner?" Hee. That's some good delivery. Marissa thinks she should just go home and help Jimmy unpack, but Summer insists that that was as bad as it's going to get. She snits that she spoke too soon, though, as Ryan and Seth approach. Seth boldly greets her and asks how her schedule looks; she curtly responds, "Full." Still, they walk off together, leaving Ryan and Marissa, who agree that it's going "not well" (Ryan) and "worse" (Marissa). Ryan proposes that they just get out of there -- get in her car and go down to the pier. She can't, because Dean Kim will call Marissa's dad, or Lady Heather. He asks about after school, and she reveals that she's supposed to help chair the Kickoff Carnival committee, but that she's looking for an excuse to get out of it. Ryan points out that Marissa just found one, and she agrees to meet Ryan out front. He's all sexy intense as he quietly says, "Something to look forward to."
Summer snippily summons Marissa, and they turn to leave, running straight into Luke, who wants to talk. I'm not a beefcake kind of girl -- I'm more into the androgynous Michael Stipe type -- but Luke's blue eyes are working that blue shirt. Summer orders him to stay away, and he whines that he doesn't know how he's supposed to do that when they all go to the same school. Summer suggests that he should have thought of that before he hooked up with one of Marissa's best friends; Summer punctuates this with a well-executed "Ass!" On the verge of tears, Marissa stomps off; Ryan chases after her, asking if she's okay. She guesses that she is; she just needs to get used to it. He confirms that they're still on for later, and they are; she echoes his "Something to look forward to." The bell rings, and Summer scurries after Marissa. Seth watches and tells Ryan, "Slowly I thaw her icy heart."
The Beautiful Blue Bedroom is back. Sandy admires himself in the mirror. Kirsten approaches: "Look at you!" and Sandy's all, "If I must." Hee. When Kirsten admires his "new suit, new scent, new look," Sandy feels like she's heading somewhere, and sure enough, she continues: "New girlfriend." He groans, "Oh, and there it is...." Kirsten silences him with a passionate kiss and they fall to the bed. He pauses to announce that he should have found an attractive co-worker years ago, and Kirsten draws back as Sandy claims it was just a figure of speech. Kirsten's all, "Rachel's attractive?" and Sandy's all, "Is that her name?" He claims it's about context: Rachel is only attractive "in relation to which she invokes amorous feelings in my far more extremely more attractive wife." Sandy looks hopeful as Kirsten tells him it's a "good answer." They kiss. It's fine. He nuzzles in her cleavage. It's not so fine; in fact, it's downright squicky. Kirsten recalls that mornings used to be their time; Sandy remembers them well. She asks what happened and he responds, "Work happened," just as his cell phone rings. Thus ensues a cringe-worthy Jim and Cindy Walsh-type moment in which the camera creepily zooms in on Sandy's hand fumbling between Kirsten's legs for his cell phone, and his evident difficulty in reaching it. They awkwardly fall forward as Sandy finally reaches the phone; they look at it together and Kirsten asks, "How did she know?" Kirsten can't believe Sandy's really going to answer it, but then her cell phone starts ringing as well: Caleb. They answer their phones.
The Harbor School. Summer clomps down a flight of steps as Seth doesn't quite slide down the banister to her. He asks if she would care to join him for lunch today because he "could arrange to have an empty chair" there for her. She snits, "There's nothing but empty chairs at your table," leading to his signature gasp of faux outrage. "Seth Cohen!" someone interrupts the conversation, and the camera pans over to reveal spunky Anna Stern, whom Seth greets happily with a hug. Summer bitchily excuses herself, claiming that she and Seth were talking; Anna bitches back, "Oh, so insulting counts as conversation?" and Seth's all, "Well, if it doesn't, then we've never spoken." Seth asks if Summer remembers Anna, narrating that she just moved to Orange County from Pittsburgh. Summer's all, "How could I forget?" before snitting off with Seth yelling after her -- they're still on for lunch today, right? Anna watches the display in dismay, and Seth attempts to blow it off: "She probably didn't even hear me." As she and Seth head off down the hall together, Anna asks what he's doing; she thought he'd gotten past the "whole Summer thing" at Cotillion. He agrees and tells her, "And I know, Anna, that it seems like not a lot of progress has been made....but I have to tell you...yeah, not that much progress has been made." Hee. Despite his best judgment, Seth insists that he "cannot not like" Summer. Anna is annoyed because he's "such a boy," and Seth's all, "Well. Whatever." Exactly. He's in high school. I knew a few men-like boys in high school. Wasn't pretty. Seth asks what Summer's problem is, because he's nothing but completely available to her. Anna stops in place and announces that Seth's the problem: "Girls like to be chased by guys that aren't into them." Seth recoils: it sounds like a game, and he doesn't like to play games. He reconsiders: "Unless we're talking about a little -- a little Saturday-night Jenga. A little -- a little Magic the Gathering. I love Magic the Gathering." Hee. A clearly smitten Anna, meanwhile, loves a little Magic the Seth Cohen. When Anna insists that he just doesn't know how to play, Seth points out that she's a girl. Anna agrees. He points out that they're friends. She agrees, too. All things agreed upon, he suggests that she take on the job of "train[ing] him in the ways of women." When Anna claims she doesn't understand the minds of "chicks like Summer," Seth wheedles, "I'll teach you how to play Jenga." And what girl could resist? Anna asks if Setj really likes Summer, and Seth quickly responds, "Since I was ten." Anna concedes, but makes no promises, leading Seth to assure her that he can't do any worse than he's done. Suitably assured, Anna leaves; Seth watches her go, snaps in the air, and says, "You're my girl."
Meanwhile, at Wolfram and Hart South, Sandy leafs through shockingly green files as Rachel enters, wondering what he was doing that morning when she called; did she wake him? And how none of her business is that? Sandy says he was spending "time with [his] wife," and Rachel's voice gets all shifty as she asks, "How'd that go?" Sandy points out that he got to work on time, and Rachel announces that it might be the last time Kirsten's in the mood for "loooooove." Sandy asks if she knows something he doesn't; she responds, "Well. I know lots that you don't, but in this case...." She asks if he's familiar with the Balboa wetlands; he public-relations that it's the largest coastal wetlands in California, and home to the blue heron, the brown pelican, and Sandy's "personal favorite -- something called the swamp rose." Rachel adds that the area is key to water quality in the county and "not to mention, they're kind of pretty." Sarah Michelle Geller so could have made that line work. Bonnie Somerville? Not so much. Sandy concludes, "So, naturally, they must be destroyed." Rachel explains that the Balboa Heights are 250 acres of land that sit above the wetlands; Sandy knows, because every developer's been going after the heights for years. Rachel reveals that "somebody" got it and wants to tear it up and put in condos and a golf course. Sandy's all, "Oh, thank God. 'Cause you know the lack of golf courses around here. It's tragic!" Hee. Rachel presents Sandy with a "policy-changing, career-making piece of legislation," and the writers might seriously want to consider giving this actress lines with fewer syllables. She suggests that a "tree-hugging crusader" like Sandy would kill to get the case, leading Sandy to ask skeptically why she wants to share it with him? She forks over a folder and watches in obvious excitement as he reads that Kirsten's company is the plaintiff; Rachel clarifies that it's "her father's company." She perches on the edge of Sandy's desk as he asks why she's even tempting him with the case, since it's clearly a conflict of interest and wouldn't be ethical. Rachel explains that the client not only waived the conflict of interest, but also insisted that Sandy take the case. Rachel Brownies that Sandy's politics, passion, and "severe dislike for [his] father-in-law" make him the ideal advocate; Sandy, however, thinks Kirsten will have a different take on it. Rachel preaches that Sandy joined the firm because it has the resources to help him make a difference, while I double-check my television to make sure I taped Fox and not The WB. I'm waiting for Sandy to bust out the long black trench coat and pompadour. He'd have to buy a comb first, though. Rachel pleads that they'll teach this case in law school: "So what's it gonna be? Your sex life? Or the swamp rose?" Sandy ponders.
The Harbor School. Dylan McKay puts up a banner for the Kickoff Carnival. Marissa uncomfortably enters a classroom and looks over to see a cackling Holly gossiping about Marissa's Vicodin overdose with a group of girls.
The bell rings, and we get a shot of a herd of people full-on running through the hallway. Maybe it's the Kickoff 5K? Random.
Meanwhile, Ryan has entered a different classroom to find Luke already there. He awkwardly sits down. They look at each other.
The Dean's Den. We join the conversation as Dr. Kim insists that Marissa is not quitting her post as social chair! She was elected by the students and has held the post for two years! Marissa explains that she knows all of this, but that things changed during the summer. Dr. Kim sympathizes, but insists that Marissa is a leader at the school and that doesn't have to change. She claims that Marissa is a "wonderful example" to her fellow students (what with all the cigarette-stealing and all) who look up to her. "Not anymore, they don't," Marissa responds. Dr. Kim puts aside the issue of how giving up extracurricular responsibilities will affect Marissa's college transcript and gets to the life lesson: "People are always going to talk. May as well give 'em sumpin' good to talk about." And would a Dean really say "sumpin'"? Marissa smells the fart as Dean Kim insists that she can't disappear, because this is her school, her life, and her future.
Outside, Anna and Seth approach a reading Ryan, who complains that they never told him about summer reading. Seth asks who does summer reading, and Ryan responds, "Apparently everyone in my class." Seth's all, "Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that one." He reveals that Anna has convinced him to join The Plank, the school's literary magazine. She explains that she needs an extracurricular activity, "and apparently you don't have to wear a sports bra to be on the lit mag." Seth adds, "See? It's appealing on many levels." And also, he feels he has "a few limericks that are ready to be shared with the world." Ryan explains that he's going to hang out with Marissa. As they leave, Seth suggests that school might not suck this year, after all.
Marissa shows up and announces that she's changed her mind and decided to plan the "carnival thing." Ryan looks confused as she explains that, since talking to the Dean, she thinks getting re-involved in school might not be a bad idea. She knows it sounds lame, and Ryan sweetly says it's cool. Marissa asks if they can reschedule, and suggests the carnival, promising to save him a ride on the ferris wheel. He quickly responds, "No ferris wheels. I don't....I don't do...heights." He says they'll figure something out. Marissa starts to ask if he's sure it's okay, and he cuts her off to say that he's got a lot of reading to do, "like five hundred years of it." After Marissa leaves, promising to see him soon, Ryan looks at the ground, then at a bunch of students milling around, then at a girl in desperate need of a trim (and might as well throw in a hot-oil treatment while she's at the salon) cramming her tongue down a random boy's throat. Commercial. Weird.
More coastline brings us back to the Beautiful Blue Bedroom. Sandy enters wearing a blue-eye-enhancing dark blue robe as Kirsten dons earrings and asks where he was last night; she didn't hear him come in. He explains that he didn't want to wake her, and then says she looks nice. "Nice," to me, isn't tight yoga pants and an inappropriate-for-the-office tank top. She explains that her father called a "company breakfast" because of a crisis, and then asks if this is how their lives will be after a couple weeks of work. Sandy concludes, "Like two ships passing in the morning." Kirsten asks what he's working on, and he dodges the question: "Big. High-profile case." Kirsten suggests lunch today, offering to pay, and then rescinding the offer because he's the one working on the big case. Sandy suggests Friday instead, and she jokes that she'll have her people call his people. They proclaim their love for each other. They kiss. Sandy watches her go.
Meanwhile, Ryan studies at the kitchen table and Sandy greets him: "Hey kid." Aw. He asks how school is going, and Ryan says it's fine, but that he's behind. Sandy's all, "After one day? Nice work!" He says the Harbor School is "brutal," and that Ryan is "brave to face those preppy little savages," adding, "And I don't mean the teachers!" Ryan suggests that private school wasn't a good idea, and Sandy rebuts that Ryan's one of the school's smartest kids. Ryan doesn't mean the work, though, and complains, "Everybody's got something....'cept me." Sandy's all, "Well, you've got Seth." And although I know what he meant, it's still a strange thing to say. Ryan responds, "Seth's got his women." Sandy's all raised eyebrows: "Seth Cohen?" Hee. He pauses, starts to continue their prior conversation, and interrupts himself to ask, "Really?" More hee. Ryan winces in response. Sandy concludes that Ryan needs something -- an activity or sport -- just as Seth enters, greeting them with a casual "Ladies." Calling Seth "Don Juan," Sandy narrates that they're trying to figure out an extracurricular activity for Ryan. When Sandy suggests archery or fencing, Seth asks what century he's in and urges him to open his mind: "This isn't me we're talkin' about!" He insists that, with Ryan, they have an opportunity to have a real athlete in the family. Ryan looks skeptical as Seth finishes telling Sandy, "Somebody. To achieve. All that your Jewishness has prevented me from accomplishing." Seth reveals that he always wanted to play soccer; conveniently, Ryan used to play soccer. Seth's all, "Done," and Sandy's all, "Glad I could help."
Jimmy's apartment. (Which is also very blue.) Wearing (what else?) blue pajamas, he carries two bowls of cereal into the living room as Marissa makes up the sofa bed. He didn't even give her his bedroom? He admits that he didn't get around to buying the cookbook, and they agree that it's best to play it safe in that case. He asks how it is sleeping on the sofa, and she insists that it's fine. He claims that it's just temporary. Perhaps until he realizes that it would be nice to give his recently near-dead daughter a real bed to sleep in? She tells him she can handle it. Jimmy asks if Marissa talked to her mom, and she just shakes her head in response. Jimmy apologizes; Marissa wishes he'd told her. Jimmy knows, and insists that things will be different. The doorbell rings, and Jimmy cheerily tells Marissa not to get excited: the phone company is installing "an actual phone line" and so it's a "very big day." He opens the door and is visibly displeased to see a grinning Luke. Marissa, meanwhile, backs out of sight. Luke pretends to admire Jimmy's new digs, but Jimmy cuts him off with a curt "Not buyin' it Luke." Luke cuts to the chase and asks if he can talk to Marissa. Jimmy's all, "No. You can't." Hee. Luke "come on"s Jimmy and weasels for just a minute or so. Jimmy reveals that Marissa told him what happened, and that she doesn't want to talk to Luke. Luke whines at him again; why does he think his charms (or lack thereof) will work on a middle-aged straight man? Getting increasingly desperate, Luke shit-mouths, "I mean, if anybody knows about bein' in the doghouse --" Jimmy cuts him off: "Don't say it." Luke earnestly asks what he can do, and Jimmy's all, "You can leave." Luke asks Jimmy, "Tell her...sorry?" Jimmy agrees, and then closes the door in his face. Marissa is pleased and oddly bashful. This episode is kind of weird.
The Harbor School. Marissa drifts through the hallway with her head down. Ryan intercepts her, and she perks right up. He asks how the carnival meeting went, and she sarcastically responds, "Very exciting." She says she might get out of her meeting early, and then explains that they're voting on cotton candy versus funnel cake. He says, "Cotton candy. No question." Which are her "thoughts exactly." I told you this episode was weird. Who prefers cotton candy to funnel cake? Please don't send me emails. Ryan can't do anything today, though, because he's got soccer practice. Marissa is surprised, as he explains that he's trying out for the team, because getting involved in school might not be a bad idea. Marissa agrees, and announces that now they both get out at 5. They agree to meet in the quad after school; between now and then hijinx will inevitably ensue.
Seth walks into a lab-type classroom and takes an adorably over-exaggerated step to greet Anna, who is seated at a table. He asks about the seat to her, and she happily informs him that it's available. At that moment, the bell rings, and Summer enters wearing a very, very short skirt. Seth immediately offers up the seat Anna just offered him, and I hate to say it, Cohen, but. Rude! Summer stomps over with a curt "Thanks." Ana shoots Seth a dirty look, and then proceeds to glare at Summer. She oozes, "Seth, come sit here by me," offering up half of her giant, fancy-ass Harbor School chair. Seth's all, "Are you sure? You don't mind the whole one cheek on, one cheek off?" Anna orders him to "sit." He squeezes in beside her, looking uncomfortable. He then outbursts that he completely forgot to ask Anna about Tahiti! He turns to explain Anna's sailing trip to Summer, who's all, "Sailing is, like, so not the fastest way to get anywhere." Which just might be my favorite line of the episode. And Adam Brody didn't say it! Summer attempts to clarify by explaining that if Anna had flown, she would have gotten there sooner. Anna snarks that Summer should be on the debate team.
Wolfram and Hart South. Sandy enters his office to find an angry Kirsten awaiting him. She admires his office, and he's all, "Came furnished." She throws a paper bag at him, announcing that she brought him lunch. He peeks inside and confirms in mock-surprise that it's not a lump of coal. She asks when he was going to tell her about the case, and he responds, "Soon." She claims that it wasn't soon enough; she signed a deposition this morning! When he explains that he's not even sure he's going to take the case, she exclaims that there is no case. He argues that she's talking about destroying one of the world's most biologically productive ecosystems, which he claims is like selling off the rainforest to profit a few wealthy individuals, and asking generations of others to pay for it. In this case, though, it's not really like selling off the rainforest, it is selling off the rainforest (or its equivalent), so that was an example, I think, more for the slower members of the viewing audience then for Kirsten. ["And perhaps not one Sandy should bust out in his opening statement in court." -- Wing Chun] Kirsten rebuts that her company has proposed to protect 350 acres of wildlife refuge as well as a natural park, but Sandy insists that the development will still increase traffic and air pollution and corrupt the water supply. Kirsten realizes that he's going to take the case, and pleads that it's not even ethical, but Sandy feels pretty comfortable comparing ethics with Caleb. Burn. Kirsten snits that "as long as [Sandy is] comfortable..." and stomps out, announcing that she's going to keep this from Caleb so he doesn't lose his mind.
Soccer field. Ryan looks really short in shin pads or whatever they are. I don't much know soccer. I also don't much know Hobbits, but Ryan looks a little like one in his gear. Still hot, but Hobbit-like all the same. When Ryan reveals that he's going out for striker, the coach points out "that kid out there" who is not only the team captain, but also the striker. And, of course, it's Luke. As Ryan hustles out onto the field, the coach announces that Luke has some competition.
Marissa, meanwhile, is wrapping up her meeting, and trying to sound remotely authoritative talking about parking and booking bands. As she gathers up her books to leave, a very sweaty Luke rounds the corner, and they come face to face; he insists that they need to talk, but she says he doesn't want to hear what she has to say! He says she does! She says that all he wants is for her to tell him that everything is okay now, but that she can't because it's not! He knows and he's sorry! She doesn't care how he feels! Or what he's going through! Because he sure as hell didn't care about her! He claims that it's not true, and she lowers her voice to say that she slept with him, and then he slept with one of her best friends. She waited for him! And he lied to her! And humiliated her! She stomps back into the room, throws her books down on the table, and sits down. Luke follows her inside just as a clothed and completely non-sweaty Ryan approaches (having apparently have worked some Hobbit-type magic in showering and clothing himself in the mere seconds Luke has been with Marissa). Ryan stops when he sees Luke and Marissa together, and lurks outside the doorway of the classroom as Luke whispers to Marissa that he's sorry. He asks if Marissa has any idea how hard it is to go to school every day and not be able to talk to her; she asks if he thinks it's easy for her. He proposes that they start over again; she doesn't answer as he adds that he doesn't know what he'd do without her. He claims that just because he ruined everything, it doesn't mean he didn't love her, because he did. This catches Marissa's attention, and she finally looks at Luke as he insists, "I do." He covers her hand with his hand and begins to smile, while she still looks confused. She cries as she reveals that the worst part is that if she hadn't caught him sleeping with Holly, she'd still love him, too. And I'm not getting this so much because much as Luke is a creep for sleeping with her best friend, the only reason she slept with him in the first place was to spite another boy. So it's not like Marissa's a complete innocent in all of it. Marissa tires of the conversation and leaves; outside in the hallway, she notices a door swinging shut and looks in both directions, confused. Since she was supposed to meet Ryan in the quad, I'm not sure why they're trying to make it look like he's missing here. More bizarreness in this episode.
Sandy unloads his surfboard from his car as Kirsten emerges from the Big House. He groans, "Oh, I know that look." She announces that she was trying to keep the case from her father in order to protect them, but it's on the front page! The headline, by the way, reads, "Wetlands Lawsuit Turns Personal: The Heights Reaches New Low as Hubby Attorney Takes on Wife and Father-in-Law's Company." What kind of headline is that? ["Seriously -- 'hubby'?" -- Wing Chun] Kirsten thought they could settle the matter privately between them, but really, the only way they could do that would be if Sandy didn't take the case. (In other words, if she got her way.) A dismayed Sandy insists that it wasn't supposed to go to the press. Kirsten yells that it's his firm, and now the entire community knows they're fighting! He's all, "Well, I guess they got the story straight." Kirsten slams the door.
Ryan enters the den, where Seth is sitting on the couch. He asks what Seth's doing. Um. He's sitting on the couch. The question, apparently, is just an excuse for Seth to reveal yet another quirkily adorable habit: he's having his "morning ritual," which consists of coffee, bagel, and the Arts and Leisure section. Ryan is amazed that Seth has a morning ritual, and Seth claims it's something he's been "crafting" for a while. Seth asks what's up, because he feels like they never get a chance to talk anymore; he asks, "Who are you?" Ryan deadpans that they had dinner twelve hours ago. Seth's all, "Fine. You keep it all bottled up." Ryan turns away from Seth, then back toward him for the briefest second, and then away again; Seth's all, "What was that?" Ryan claims it was nothing, but Seth insists, "See, I saw something. I saw thoughts forming. I saw words percolating." Aw, with the "percolating." Seth makes a little finger flitting "bring it on" gesture as Ryan tells him to forget it. Seth persists, and finally Ryan reveals that he saw Luke and Marissa together last night. Seth asks if they were making out, and Ryan explains that they were making up. He says that Luke was crying, and Seth's all, "Luke was crying?" Seth unconvincingly concludes that it doesn't sound like anything, and Ryan thinks it doesn't sound like nothing; he thinks it looked like they were getting back together. Seth urges Ryan to ask Marissa, because if nothing is going on, she'll tell him. He doesn't say what she'll tell him, though, if something is going on.
Summer and Marissa are conveniently having the same conversation, and we join them as Summer decrees that Marissa can't tell Ryan. Marissa asks whether she shouldn't just be honest with Ryan but people are never honest with each other on teen dramas, because if they were, there never would be any ridiculous misunderstandings or silly plot contrivances. Summer insists that since Marissa and Ryan haven't even gone on a date yet, Marissa will only freak Ryan out. Summer concludes, "Trust me, Coop. What he doesn't know won't hurt you."
Ryan's shirt is the same fetching color as Sandy's robe, and he wears his bag messenger-style, which is just so exactly right for the character. He approaches Marissa's locker as she asks what happened to him last night; she waited, and she tried to call. He nonchalantly claims that he got "a little slimed," and that he's behind in his work. She's all, "After two days?" He asks what she did, and she says she didn't do anything; her meeting went long. He asks how it went, and she thinks it's going to be good. He asks what she did after the meeting, and she clarifies, "After I couldn't find you? I went home." She points out that he's got soccer practice later, and that she'll stop by. He shoots her the Blue Plastic, and then dismissively says he's got to get to class, and he'll see her. As he walks away, his expression changes from anger to determination.
Biology class. Summer places her index finger on a pinned frog and says, "Huh!" When she notices an amused Seth is watching, she clarifies, "I mean ew!" Seth's all, "That's my girl!" Summer spins and confirms that he's a "good dissector." He's all, "Hands of a surgeon!" It's decided, then; they can be lab partners, and he'll write up all the lab reports. At that moment, Anna appears, announcing that Seth already has a lab partner: he's "promised himself" to her. He's all, "Yes, I am betrothed." Hee. Anna dramatically snaps on a glove and announces, "Good!" As Summer snits off, Seth asks what Anna's doing. Summer wanted to be his lab partner, and Anna's "supposed to help [him] get her!" Anna cozies up to Seth, all, "Watch and learn, Cohen." She tells him to follow her lead and then announces, "Scalpel!" except she pronounces it, "SKAY-pel." That's not good. Summer, meanwhile, has seated herself with a dorky-looking guy. Seth asks where they should begin, and Anna responds, "The heart!" She then shoots Summer a perky look. Summer shoots back a not-so-perky look.
Wolfram and Hart South. Rachel greets Sandy as "Sanford," and announces that everyone is talking about him. He orders her to fess up, and asks if they hired him just because of the case; she claims they didn't even have the case when they hired him, and that Sandy shouldn't worry about it, because he's thoroughly convinced everyone that he's torn. She eagerly announces that the case could go all the way to the state Supreme Court. He knows that; he also knows he can win, but says it's more a question of what he's going to lose. She snits, "Well, if your marriage can't survive this, what kind of marriage is it?" Bitch.
Soccer field. Ryan does drills and receives kudos from the coach. On the sidelines, Luke is tying his shoes as Marissa arrives and greets him. He apologizes for yesterday's intensity, and considers that the last time he cried was "when Macaulay Culkin cried at the end of My Girl." Marissa remembers -- "the bees thing" -- and agrees that Luke was a mess. From the field, Ryan witnesses this exchange and goes all Danny Zuko, running with increased determination and sneaking looks over in her direction. If only there were some hurdles for him to run into so that Marissa could dash onto the field and cry, "Ryan!" in a breathless, flustered voice. Although I think lifting the basketball scene in which Danny punches a guy to get the ball would have been a funnier one to steal. And I don't know how my recaps tend to end up on Grease flashbacks. Marissa stands on the sidelines and shades her eyes to watch as the coach -- who is no Sid Caesar -- beckons Luke; he runs to the front of one of two lines, apologizing because he had to tape up his ankle. Ryan shoulders his way up the front of the second line so that he can face off against Luke. From the sidelines, Marissa cheerily waves; when Ryan doesn't look back, she looks confused. The whistle blows, and Luke takes off down the field with the ball; Ryan chases behind him, and then slide-tackles him. The coach blows his whistle and runs out onto the field with a cry of "Illegal!" as Luke clutches his ankle and rolls around on the ground, and Marissa rises to her feet in alarm. The coach grabs the thugged-out Ryan and orders him off the field. He runs past his potential teammates as one grumbles, "What's your problem, dude?"
Dinner table. The Big House. Seth asks Ryan how soccer practice was; he gets no response. Sipping. Eating. Seth asks how Sandy's new job is; he gets no response. Sipping. Eating. Seth turns to ask Kirsten how her day was, but she silences him with a glare. He concludes, "I'm just going to be quietly eating now." Aw. In this scene, by the way, all of the Cohens eat using chopsticks. Ryan -- seeing as he is from Chino -- just lowers his head to the plate and chows down.
Pool house. Ryan studies by romantic lamplight. Marissa's concerned face appears in the reflection of the glass door. Without knocking, Marissa lets herself in and asks what that was was about, earlier. He asks, "What?" and she points out that Ryan attacked Luke! He blows it off, explaining that Luke beat him to the ball, and that it was a clean tackle. She asks why he's lying to her, and he counters by asking why she's lying to him. She asks what he's talking about, and he reveals that he saw and heard everything between her and Luke yesterday. Marissa whines that she didn't know what to say to Luke, and Ryan wonders, why not the truth? Marissa yells that he should have just told her he knew instead of going off and hurting Luke! Ryan's just as bad as Luke is! He responds in a way that tells us everything we need to know about poor Ryan: "You know what? I don't need to be lied to by one more person!" Marissa insists that she didn't lie to him; what happened was between her and Luke and has nothing to do with Ryan. He agrees that she's right! It does have nothing to do with him! He defensively concludes, "This just isn't gonna happen." Marissa agrees that it's not and storms out. Ryan fiddles with his pencil and looks upset.
Morning. Ryan enters the Big House and looks warily at Sandy, who lies in wait, reading a newspaper. He announces that the coach called and wants to suspend Ryan for two games. Ryan tries to blow it off, but Sandy adds that the coach thinks Ryan's talented, but he also thinks Ryan's "attitude sucks." Ryan's all, "It does." Sandy orders him, "Sit down and listen to me." He jokes that Ryan can stand if he prefers: "But you know how lawyers love to talk." Ryan slowly takes a seat, not making eye contact with Sandy, who earnestly pleads that the last thing Ryan needs is suspension from school -- a school that could do great things for him. Ryan clarifies: it could do great things for Seth, maybe, but not for Ryan. Sandy knows Ryan's angry and doesn't blame him; his voice thick with disdain, he adds that, every day at school, Ryan will "run into spoiled little rich kids whose ass [Ryan is] gonna wanna kick." But Ryan needs to work that out now: "Forget about suspension! We are always one mistake away...from...from someone taking you from us." This heartfelt admission merits eye contact, and Ryan finally looks at him. Sandy looks back. Ryan looks back. Sandy looks back. Tired of the staring contest, Sandy leaves, but not before turning back to say that since Seth wasn't ever big on organized sports, he'd love to see Ryan play sometime.
Harbor School. Walking with Ryan and considering the tackle, Seth ponders, "Huh. And women usually find stark brutality so romantic." Ryan admits that he messed up, and Seth says it's his experience that a person should always apologize even if he hasn't done anything wrong: "Your shoes'll get peed in so much less." As Ryan stares, Seth adds, "It was a metaphor." Ryan asks if he's got to apologize to Luke too, and Seth says "that crybaby" can just drown in his own tears.
Summer, meanwhile, is sassing to Marissa that men are all the same, and that it's too bad about Ryan, because she could tell that Marissa really liked him. This, for some reason, causes Marissa to smile. Ryan intercepts them, but Summer insists that they have to get to class. They snit off, but not without a backward glance from Marissa at Ryan.
Filler shots of various Orange County locations during sunset lead us to the Big House, where Kirsten sits out in the hot tub. Sandy approaches, bearing flowers and looking horny. And wow -- that's some hot tub. He says, "I do love Mr. Solomon Burke," which must be the soulsy music that's playing, except both times I heard him my mind immediately went to Soylent Green, for some reason. Sandy jokes that he would have brought Kirsten a bouquet of swamp roses, but "apparently they're endangered." He announces that he's going to take the case because he has to, insisting that that's the person she married. She sweetly says she knows. He lies on the ground tub-side as he says he's been pissing her off for years, so why stop now? She says that between her father and her husband, it's going to be a long year, leading Sandy to point out that it could be a couple years. Kirsten slides over toward him, announcing that she couldn't "be married to a man who wasn't a man." Sandy's all, "I'm all man." Hee. Kirsten appears to be looking at the time on his watch as she says they'll get through it, and that there's a reason why they're together. He "had that suspicion." They kiss. Kirsten points out that the kids are at the carnival, and Sandy also heard that rumor. He asks if she's getting out; she asks if he's getting in. She pulls him toward the pool by his tie, and just as I start thinking about their expensive-ass dry-cleaning bill, the phone rings. This time it's Kirsten's: Caleb, with an emergency. Sandy's phone rings three seconds later. Who? Of course, Rachel.
Kickoff Carnival. Seth and Anna play skeeball, and Seth conjectures, "If only skeeball were a school sport, you know what I mean?" Anna thinks "a boy can dream." Seth encourages Anna to take a shot, assuring her that it's easy. What's not easy, however, is looking at that Bag Lady Barbie outfit Anna's got on. Bag Lady Barbie, apparently, has access to Susanna Hoffs's trash can. Ryan joins them, and Anna earnestly asks if he's had any luck finding Marissa; he hasn't. Seth orders Ryan to let Anna concentrate, because "she dares to step up to the master." Anna prevails and acts surprisingly girly about her victory. Seth's all, "Well, clearly you're a lesbian." She shoots him a look. So do I. Seth announces that he's going to trade in his tickets for prizes, then backtracks to ask if he should get Summer something; what does Anna think she'd like? Anna shoots him a well-executed "What the fuck?" look, and Seth concludes that he'll figure it out on his own.
In Seth's absence, Anna laments that Seth doesn't understand the whole hard-to-get strategy. Ryan responds, "That's because he's not." Hee. As they continue to play skeeball side by side, Ryan asks why Anna's helping Seth with Summer. She replies, "Why not?" and then Ryan's all with the Blue Plastic and the raised eyebrows, but not the elbow-in-the-side and the, "Huh? Huh? Huh?" Cornered, Anna complains that Seth doesn't see her that way: "When he looks at Summer he sees lips...and hair...and boobs..." but when he looks at Anna, he sees a lab partner. Aw. Anna insists that she and Seth are friends; and Ryan slyly asks whether she's really just going to let it go. He turns to face her and says, "Anna, guys wanna be chased by girls who aren't interested in them." I hope there are more Ryan/Anna moments, because the lack of forced chemistry with a focus on their potential friendship is refreshing: he'll never carry her inert body somewhere while all backlit and baroque. Ryan spots Marissa over Anna's shoulder; he also spots an extra wearing what appear to be leg warmers on her arms. Anna encourages Ryan, and he acknowledges that she's heading for the ferris wheel. Anna wishes him good luck, and smiles hopefully for him as he goes.
Luke, in the meantime, has assumed Sandy's role in popping up at inopportune times. He and Ryan run into each other, and after what's clearly an internal struggle, Ryan apologizes for the day before. Ryan sneaks a look past Luke at Marissa, and Luke turns and sees her as well. Luke looks at Ryan. Ryan looks at Luke. Luke doesn't make a move as Ryan pushes past.
Summer and Marissa are just stepping onto the ferris wheel as Ryan shows up, grabs Summer's arm, and asks if she minds. She's all, "Not getting involved!" which is actually getting involved, but whatever. Good for her. Marissa asks what Ryan's doing, and he says he wants to talk. As the ferris wheel slowly begins rotating, Ryan looks unhappy. Marissa thought she was afraid of heights; and he can barely manage an "Uh-huh." He then pulls it together enough to insist that it was important. The wheel continues to rise, and he's all, "Oh, boy. Oh, God," and it sounds a bit more like he's "excited" than scared. As they reach the top, Ryan begins to talk about what he said last night, and then the ride stops. He's all, "Whoa. Ah. What...What's going on?" Marissa explains that they've stopped, and he's all, "Wh-- Wh-- Wh-- Why are we stopped?"
Down below, we see Anna slip the ride operator $10 and tell him to keep Marissa and Ryan up there a few minutes longer so that they can work it out. Seth proclaims Anna the master. She turns and announces that there's something she wants to tell him. Seth's all "bring it." Anna grabs him and kisses him; he kisses back. Kissing. Finally, they pull apart, and he looks happy and confused, and then turns to see Summer watching them. He asks Anna if it's all part of the plan, because if it is, he think it's working. Anna gamely agrees that it's part of the plan, and thus goes even further into her Watts-esque persona. That's some kind of something, all right, but I'm not sure it's "wonderful." Anna tells Seth, with a question in her voice, that he can go, and he sweetly thanks her. She bites her lip and looks down, and then sadly watches him go. He quickly returns, but only to hand over a sock monkey, which was all he could get with his tickets. Aw. Anna ponders the sock monkey.
Seth joins Summer, who is pissily eating cotton candy. She whines that Coop's stuck on the ferris wheel and she was looking for someone to go on the tilt-a-whirl with her. Empowered by the kiss, Seth's all cocky and, "Oh, I'll go with you." She says she may vomit; he likes his odds.
Back at the top of the ferris wheel, Ryan clenches the safety bar and concentrates. Marissa asks if he's okay, and he says he is, although clearly he is not. He opens his mouth wide in alarm as she looks forward, presumably to check their status, but more to show her cleavage to the home viewers. He snaps, "You had to go for the cheap ferris wheel, didn't you? What kind of carnival is this, Cooper?" Hee. With the wincing and the groaning and the clenching, Benjamin McKenzie does "scared" really well. Or "particularly satisfying bowel movement." Finally, Ryan closes his eyes, turns to Marissa, and announces, "Look. I don't talk. A lot. About stuff. I don't trust people. I trust you. And I wanna make it. Less. Work. No matter what." Aw. Aw! He goes on to suggest that if they ever get down from there, they can talk about it. Completely won over -- and who wouldn't be? -- Marissa jokes, who know when that will be? She suggests that Ryan just needs something to take his mind off it, and he asks -- still with his eyes closed -- what could possibly do that while they're fifty feet in the air? A kiss, obviously! Marissa leans in to plant one on him and, over her shoulder, we see Ryan's eyes spring open in surprise, and then slowly close again. The ferris wheel starts to descend. And oh! Ryan does the hands on the face! And the fingers down her arm! Suddenly, they've reached the ground, but haven't even noticed. As the ride operator tries to help them off, Ryan's all, "One more time." Hee. The ferris wheel spins and spins.
time on The O.C., Ryan and Marissa kiss on a bed. Anna wears a pretty, apparently normal dress. I say "apparently" because you can only see the bodice; the bottom probably has live, squawking turkeys hanging off the hem. Seth is amazed that Anna thinks all he does is talk about Summer; Ryan is not amazed at all. Sandy and Caleb insult each other. Lady Heather apologizes to Marissa and wants to feel like a family again. In this case, though, "feel like a family again" means "make out with a man who is not her husband." But who is, in fact, Caleb.