No fucking nudity again? This show is so losing it.
Previously, Sip gets railroaded into a date, which he'd refuse "even if she were Zsa Zsa Gabor;" Sip goes on the date, is rude, and apologizes; Di gives Ricky some wound-salting in the locker room and he punches a locker and cries like an ittle wittle baby-kins. All he wanted was a chance! Just one chaaance!
Crime scene! This one actually freaks me out because it's set in an outer (gritty!) basement area, below sidewalk level, where apartment buildings store their trashcans and stuff. This particular spot looks a little like Philly, and when we see the body of a young woman shoved in with the trash, I flash back to a few years ago when a woman was sexually assaulted and killed -- her head nearly severed from her body -- early one morning as she was jogging, just a few blocks from her apartment. Her name was Kimberly Earnest, but the tabloids called this the Center City Jogger case. One thing I learned after that was that a lot of rapes are committed in the early hours, like between 4 and 6 AM, after the freaks have been out all night getting high or whatever. Creepy. Anyway, Baldwin, Di, and Medavoy canvass the area without much luck. The victim's throat is bruised a sickly-looking purple, her (clean) panties have been tugged down around her ankles, and her book bag doesn't contain much info except for her name written in a book: Alyssa. Baldwin reads the emblem on her school blazer: "Quisque pro omnibus." Di knows this means "something for everyone." Wow, what kind of weak school logo is that? Nothing about learning, or knowledge, or a lamp, or veritas, or some such classical baloney? This must be one of those fancy prep schools, the students of which I resent so much. I learned circles around those bougie brats at my state school! You're damn tootin'. I learned real good. Got edumacated. And shit. Anyways, Baldwin says of Di's recollection of Latin, "The things that stick in your head, huh." Yeah, my head's so sticky it's like a pot of strawberry JAM, man.
Whoosh, the credits; boom boom boom go the gritty gritty drums.
Hey, a Reagan Ville! Though it looks real nice. Thanks, Bill. So yeah, it's a homeless person's camp, all set up under a maze of bridges. One tent has a TV antenna sticking out of it. The hell? Ricky and Sip push past yellow caution tape and get the low-down from the uniforms there: a "looney-tuner" flagged them down after discovering a strangled male corpse near his tent. Sip goes over to talk to the guy. Ricky stays behind and learns that about fifteen guys also crash there, "mostly Mexicans." Whatever. The camera waves over to reveal a TELEVISION in the homeless guy's tent. Wow. Could be. Or, "as if," infinity. Sip calls Ricky over and after commenting on the TV setup, makes the Looney-Tuner repeat what he said. He's not unlike Rain Man in his delivery. He's reluctant to repeat himself because he "already said it, it's already out there." Dude, just say it. He saw two guys fighting. Sip suggests he come down to the station with them, and the Looney-Tuner says he has to pack his stuff, then. They argue, he insists, and gets his way after saying "okay" like a million times.
Back at the station house, Ricky and Sip haul the Looney-Tuner's full shopping cart up the stairs. L-T is carrying a microwave. No, I don't believe this either. Fancy comes out, gets the lowdown, and doesn't even say anything about the shopping cart. Ricky and Sip go into the interrogation room, and L-T begins to talk, prefacing it with, "They were all wearing a lot of metal, and it hates me." Ricky and Sip take off their watches to accommodate L-T. Okaaay. Can I just mention that this is the third episode in which a D.A.R.E. poster is prominently featured behind a Blue cop in the interrogation room? Well it is, and I wouldn't even buy a D.A.R.E. shirt at a thrift store for a nickel, it is that ubiquitous and played. OUT. Stop it, Bochco. I know that's you. So, L-T says two guys were fighting with the dead guy, Jefe, and the one that "made him go down," heh, was Diego. Mauricio was the other one. Sip and Ricky go to find them.
The mother of the dead girl, Alyssa, comes in. She's pretty devastated. She went into her daughters "confidential chest" and brought in all her papers and diaries and stuff. She thought Alyssa was going to be home last night, but had no way of checking because she's a nurse and was railroaded into working the night shift. The mom doesn't know if she was seeing anyone or not. Then she asks if Alyssa was sexually assaulted before she "died." Di says she can't confirm that, but that it is possible. The mom breaks down.
In Fancy's office, Di and Baldwin go over Alyssa's essays, penned for a creative writing class. The essays are all about her flirting with an older guy on the way to school that has raped her more than once. The guy in the story says it's "her fault for flirting." They have enough detailed information to go pick the guy up, and Baldwin says he wants to go talk to the teacher to "see how he can put a grade on these so-called stories." Did I not say that this was like an extremely grisly episode of My So-Called Life? This could be Rayanne if she had had worse luck. Oh, yikes. Medavoy pops his head in to say that Alyssa's two best friends are here with their dads, for questioning.
Sip and Ricky haul in the newest member of Bochco's Ethnic Extra Parade, Mauricio, a Mexican. I'm really glad they established that the Reagan Ville is a hangout for Mexicans, so I can identify him as such, because people's ethnicity is so important when it comes to crimes. Sarcasm alert, whoop whoop! So, the heavily accented Mauricio says he was talking to Jefe about frostbite, and was it that wacko L-T that said he saw Mauricio giving Jefe a beating? Ha ha ha, and SMACK! Ricky whacks Mauricio on the back of the head. Sip asks him to give up Diego. M. says he won't, and that L-T is the "cocky" one, not him, and Ricky SMACKS him again. M. says, "I jus' take eet day to day, main." Because he's Mexican.
So, the two girlfriends of Alyssa come in and are questioned separately from their parents. One girl sunnily says she didn't know what Alyssa was doing, and she had been kind of busy after school for the last month or so, and they extended volleyball, and that Alyssa had had a boyfriend but he moved away, and lots of guys had crushes on her since "she was so pretty." She finishes each statement with "Right? Right?" directed to the quiet girl. At the "she was so pretty" comment, the other, mostly silent girl takes the chattery girl's hand and they exchange meaningful -- or, -less -- looks. Di and Baldwin look at the silent girl really hard, as if by keeping quiet she's keeping something a secret. Uh. Doy. Di gives the quiet girl her card, and says, "If you can think of anything to help us find the guy that killed your best friend..." Real subtle, see?
So, Sip and Ricky decide not to go look for Diego because they don't want to "wear their shoes out looking for a homeless guy," and who comes up but that detective that set up Sip on a date with his niece last season! He tells us he's lost ten pounds. I can't tell. So, after Ricky walks off, Sip sidles up and is all like, remember your niece, and the other guy is like, do I remember my niece? Hee. So Sip is all hemming and hawing and says he has these "urges..." Just kidding. He's ready to date now! Yay! Sip's like, tell her I said hi, and please give her this note which says to check in the box if you like me. The other guy says he has her number, whips out a Palm VI, which Sip calls a "hand pilot." Hee! He taps away, trying to extract the digits, and mutters, "I'll be taking a hammer to this by Easter." Oh, newfangled contraptions are never friends to salty detectives. They just aren't gritty enough.
Fancy Prep School. Di, Medavoy, and Baldwin are questioning Alyssa's teacher, who calls her death "they worst thing they've had to deal with" at the school. Dude, "they"? How about "we," Professor McHeartlessford? He goes on to say that Alyssa's writing was so "detailed" and "visceral" that he was "encouraged," which turned to disturbed only after she completed a hat trick on the I-was-raped-after-school series. He held on to the third story. Dude, gross! He never spoke of his concern because he'd rather cover his ass than stick his neck out and risk being perceived as a child molester or something like that. "It's a modern-day Salem," he says. Too late, Baldwin sussed you out first thing! Get some wood for the fire, y'all. The teacher says Alyssa refused to take the third story back (and she mentioned his name, Chris Manahan, in this one). THEN he asked if she needed to talk about something, and said that "he would put her in touch with someone" -- like, I guess, a SCHOOL COUNSELOR, or something -- and she shook her head and walked away. Di flicks her eyes down to the pages of Alyssa's last work, and Baldwin gets to deliver the Look of Great Moral Outrage. You GO, Baldwin.
After a gritty (gritty!) montage of the street (including a dog), we land inside the station house, and wave up to Sip's desk. With a checked shirt and striped tie, he rolls his eyes, exhales nervously, and picks up the phone. Go go go! DO IT! He dials. We get a shot of John. Cynthia the niece answers, and agrees to go to dinner with Sip that NIGHT. Dude! Sip says he has to check his calendar (Because he's read The Rules. NOT.), covers the phone with his hand, exhales, gets back on, and says he's available. John beams. Okay, so tonight at eight! Sip hangs up, elated, and then makes an "oh, shit" face because of Theo! He needs a sitter and can't ask Katie! He starts calling babysitters, then wheels around. "John, I need to ask you a biiig favor." "Name it," says John. Sip asks for a trim. John's face falls slightly, but he agrees. The sitter Sip calls is like in law school now. Wacky hijinks are so about to ensue, I can just tell.
On the gritty (don't you know) street, Di, Baldwin, and Medavoy cruise up to a hunky guy on a ladder. He's Chris, Alyssa's character rapist. He refuses to come down until Baldwin rattles the ladder. Then he takes off running. Baldwin brings him down, fast. He doesn't want to get in the cop car because the last time he did, he "went away for two years." He raped some "skanky cheese-bag" on Coney Island. Di hates Chris. So do I.
John is trimming Sip's hair in the bathroom. "Ever think of saying the heck with it and taking it all down with clippers?" Sip says no. "So, a date, huh?" Sip glares his owly glare and John says he wasn't listening, but he overheard. Sure, how could he not? Then, John offers to baby-sit Theo! Sip ahems and looks shiftily around the room, saying he "has a few calls out," and that he wants to "give them first crack," and John says he's "just putting it out there, as a friend," and oh my, Sip leaps up, and haircut time is over now, bye!
Sip comes out of the bathroom, patting his hair, and Ricky says nothing came up on Diego, and he wants to hold on to Mauricio and L-T overnight. "It's supposed to be freezing anyway." Ahem. So, Ricky is doing his "saving people" thing again.
Chris is interrogated. He's SO unsympathetic. He talks like the character in Alyssa's story: she flirted; she asked for it. "She came on to me like coffee, hot and strong! I mean, I'm a MAN!" Men, you may hang your heads in shame or exclaim in disgust; those are your options. Chris is so stupid, he totally confesses to statutory rape. Just because you THINK she's eighteen doesn't mean she is, dude. Did you not see the school uniform? But he has a good alibi for her murder last night. He was passed out after an all-night bachelor party. Lucky bastard.
So, Sip asks Ricky to baby-sit. Ricky can't. Sip says, "GAY John asked to baby-sit," and that of course would be ridiculous because Gay John is GAY. Ricky points out the ludicrousness of that. Now I don't have to. Then they start talking about Ricky and Di, and Ricky says he screwed that up because he "was acting like a kid, all clingy." Yup. Sip says Ricky can't let what happened between he and Di make him "not want to be here." Yawn, okay. It's making me not want to be awake.
The new ADA is bummed because Chris, statutory rapist, has an alibi for Alyssa's murder, and that they can't press rape charges because Alyssa is dead. Baldwin goes to kick him, and Di slaps his face, twice. This is the most boring episode ever.
Station house. John hands Sip the phone. His final babysitter cancels. What ever shall he do? John shields his eyes with his hand and does paperwork with the other. Sip takes a little plastic animal (a hippo? I can't tell) and makes it hop across John's lamp to get his attention, then says, "All right John, I'll take you up on it." John is all like, "Really?" like Sip is doing him a favor. John is so nice, man. I wish I were friends with him. John wants to be sure Sip is "comfortable," and Sip says that he is, "and grateful." Aww! But you know he's going to be sweating. They agree John will show up at 7:30.
In walks the mostly silent friend of Alyssa, Joanne. Di pounces. As she leads Joanne into an interrogation room, Sip shakes his magic eight ball, reads the results, and makes a "whoa" face. I wonder if he asked, "Will I get lucky?"
So Joanne plunks herself down and asks Di about promise / secret-keeping etiquette. You're asking a cop, dear. Di says it depends. Joanne says she and Alyssa made a pact to keep each other's secrets "no matter what," but didn't discuss what would happen "if one of us, you know, died." Di says helping your friend is the most important thing. So Joanne says that Alyssa and Professor McHeartlessford had had sex a few times in his car, and then graduated to a motel for some afternoon action. Alyssa had to keep it a secret because it would have been bad "for his job" if people found out. Oh, gross. Di listens, then pats Joanne and tells her she's glad that she came back. So, what's Joanne's secret that Alyssa was keeping? We don't know because the scene ends.
So Ricky is helping L-T move into his cell, and Ricky got him a whole pizza to eat. L-T is pretty happy about this, but nervous about being locked up. Ricky says that he'll tell the guard to keep the door open, and the camera waves down to show L-T putting a toaster oven in front of the open door. He gives Ricky a magnet, then a helmet made from aluminum foil. No, it was just a magnet. Ricky says he'll put it on his fridge. Really? You will? Oh boy! L-T is beside himself, then leaps up to shake Ricky's hand and calls him "one of the good people." Ricky says L-T is too.
Professor McHeartlessford is brought in. He's all like, did you get that Chris guy? You said I needed to look at some photos? Baldwin is like, just one photo, and it's his ID from the motel he checked into with Alyssa. Professor McHeartlessford quickly cops to going there with her, and to being "intimate" with her, but he didn't kill her, oh noo. Di flips, and yells, "You aren't talking to a bunch of fifteen-year-olds NOW." The Prof makes some noise like he wants to talk to a lawyer, and Baldwin scares him into talking with them about it first, because if he gets a lawyer it'll be all over the press in seconds, and when he gets to jail - boom! Pedophiles and child-killers are generally not treated so warmly, I've heard. Di says that they could call this " a crime of passion...use it." The Prof sighs, poses, and begins to speak: "She had her sights set on me...the long looks, following me to my car..." This is exactly the same speech Chris made, but done less crudely. Baldwin asks if the Prof got angry, and the Prof said he "got scared! The phone calls, coming to my house, wanting to talk to my wife! I saw my life unraveling!" What a fucking tool. Di asks, "So you killed her to shut her up?" The Prof says he met her "one last time," and raised his fist to "scare her, to tell her to leave me alone!" and when she screamed, he grabbed her throat and then, he guesses, "blacked out." Medavoy asks if he blacks out a lot, or if that was a one-time thing. The Prof asks what's going to happen to Chris the rapist, and Baldwin says, "Let's worry about what's going to happen to you." Yes, let's, you evil evil man.
Night. It's quiet on the street, but still gritty. We zoom into Sip's apartment. Theo is making cars crash on the living room rug. He's wearing PJs, and Sip emerges in a nice shirt-jacket-and-tie combo and tries to get Theo to put on a robe. Theo refuses sweetly. Then Sip tells Theo that his babysitter works with Daddy, and is Daddy's friend, and wouldn't be baby-sitting if he weren't, and that his babysitter's name is John. Theo asks if John will play "car crash pileup" with him. Sip is all like, listen, what's the rule when I'm not around? Theo says by rote, "Nobody treats me bad," and Sip says, "And if they do?" Theo says, "I tell you. Will John play car crash pileup?" So fucking cute. Ding-dong! Sip says John doesn't seem "like a gearhead somehow." He answers the door, they cautiously exchange hellos, and then John delivers a gift to Theo via Sip, since he's sure Theo knows not to take anything directly from strangers. Sip takes the beautifully wrapped gift bag and holds it until Theo busts out with a few dozen "please please please"s. It's a tow truck! Aww! Theo says "Yesss! Want to play car crash pileup?" If dad's okay. Dad says he's okay. Theo grabs John's hand and drags him into the living room. I'm all misty now.
Dinner. Cynthia is eating as Sip walks over to their table, saying that's the last time he'll check in, it's just that he hasn't been out since, well, the last time they were out, and he's away from his little guy, who has a new babysitter. Cynthia is very accommodating, and says Sip can check in as often as he wants. Sip will. Cyn says, "You're an attentive, loving father. Stop thinking that's not attractive." Sip says he's "lucky" that Cyn was free, and Cyn says she would either be with a book or at a reading if not out with him. Sip says, "That's because it's what you like to do, not because you don't have options, an attractive woman like you." WOOOH! She massages his ego a little in return, then Sip gets this heavy-lidded look, and asks if Cyn's ever been to the Empire State Building. Is that a euphemism? Oh my! Cyn says, "Once, god, years ago." Sip suggests they go after this, "to see if anything's changed." Bamp chicka bamp bamp! Cyn asks if it'll even be open, and Sip flashes his badge, calling it his "key to the city, could come in handy." WOOOH!