Hey! Thanks to DeAnn for covering for me last week. I understand there was a fashion show. And then several more fashion shows!
Okay, let's get on with it. In the previouslies, I am starting to really enjoy Taylor's response to being rejected: "Like, ouch." Yeah, man. Dig it.
Sebastian and Camille are at an art fair, and I think he's trying to hit on her with his smooth questions like "What kind of art are you into?" She scolds him for touching the art. Sebastian recaps the events of the last episode for Camille, and she tells him where he went wrong when hitting on Kelli: "Basically, you were like, 'Now that I'm done hooking up with one girl, how about you?'" Sebastian's response? "Yeah!" Camille is delighted to realize just how dumb this kid is. Sebastian explains to us that he doesn't plan to listen to Camille, "because she's not exactly this pro. On dating." Hmm. Sebastian grills Camille on her love life. How long ago has it been since she's been on a date? "Ten? Twenty? Thirty years?" Sebastian goes for the kill: "I feel like you just would make everyone feel dumb. I guess, X plus, like, the factor of Y equals Z." Camille stares at him, unable to even formulate a response. Sebastian interviews that there must be something wrong with Camille's sense of humor. This scene, which has been obviously engineered by the producers to make Sebastian and Camille interact, is both excruciatingly phony and hilariously phony.
Actually, Camille's starting to get ticked off at Sebastian's gibes, so she turns the conversation around on him, mocking him for having been dumped by both Kelli and Taylor. He stays on the no-date theme, accusing her of not having been on a date in a month. Camille essentially tells him to shut up, and he goes with the default answer of "Whatever." Okay, that was weird and awkward. I liked it!
Jessie and Kat are out trying on sunglasses. Jessie complains about PC and "his new entourage," pointing out that when she's 30, she doesn't plan on hanging out with 18-year-old boys. Jessie goes on about how guests don't invite guests, and how everyone says she has a great intuition. Kat is supportive of Jessie's anger that PC is going out partying with his new friends. Kat tells her that she can't change people, and also to stop being so dramatic and claiming that it's the end of her friendship with PC. I think I like Kat, although the producers probably don't approve of someone talking sense and telling people not to be dramatic. Kat tells Jessie that she should just back off and let PC get kicked in the ass. Jessie says she can't let him fail and still be his friend. Kat tells her to relax.
Camille and Maite are shopping for a nautical-themed pashmina for their upcoming trip to Harvard. Camille wonders what the social scene is like, but Maite figures it involves partying on the weekends and working hard during the week. Camille thinks "Harvard guys" will be exactly like the guys they already hang out with. Also, she's invited Kelli along on the trip, because she's hoping that showing her a college will help remind her of the world outside her singing career. Or something.
PC and Kat. PC says he's waiting to hear from some colleges, and also thinks Jessie should get off his back about the partying. He promises that he's sleeping and not doing drugs, and further alleges that Jessie is being immature. PC tells us that he doesn't have to work hard to get good grades. He's hoping to get into Occidental, because it's in Los Angeles and he wants to get out. Kat calls him on the inevitability of him going to Los Angeles, partying all the time and getting into the same drama he does in New York.
Sebastian and Gabe are kicking a soccer ball around in a park while talking about girls and a party. Sebastian doesn't think he's going to try to pick up things with Taylor: "It wasn't left off awkwardly. It was left off, like, I was just being a dick." "Did it leave off like friends, though?" "No." Sebastian reiterates that he has no interest in being friends with Taylor.
Speaking of Taylor, she and her friend Ayala are walking through a park with a dog. Taylor doesn't know what Sebastian was thinking when he said he didn't want to be her friend, and she's not all that interested in finding out. Things are going well with Cole, although she's worried about Cole's ex-girlfriend Deniz being at the party they're going to later. That's the party that Sebastian and Gabe were talking about. I don't want you to think there were multiple parties here.
Party! Taylor, wearing extremely magenta lipstick, explains that high school parties involve drama. At the party, PC greets Taylor, and Camille watches archly. Cole tells a terrible anecdote about this time he told his friends about the fashion show. PC appears to fish for some thanks for getting Cole the tickets to the fashion show, then definitely gets annoyed and walks off. Cole and Cole's friend discuss PC's eyeliner. They describe him as "gay" and "very fruity." PC tells us that he has no intention of ever talking to Cole again, and also that he's secure in his sexuality and likes being who he is. PC leaves the Cole-Taylor area.
Sebastian shows up with Gabe and sits to Kelli. Just then, Cole decides that he and Taylor should go talk to Sebastian. Taylor protests, but goes along with it. At the edge of the party, a delighted Camille calls Gabe's attention to the oncoming drama. Cole grills Sebastian about why he doesn't want to be Taylor's friend. Taylor is uncomfortable, Sebastian is uncomfortable, PC is not involved but he's uncomfortable anyway. Sebastian interviews that he thought this was an issue between him and Taylor, so what does Cole have to do with it?
Just then! Cole's ex-girlfriend Deniz shows up and sits down to Cole. PC claims that he's started feeling bad for Taylor, so he comes over to the group and kisses Taylor. You're not really following this, are you? The point is: drama! DRAAAMAAAAA! Cole tells Taylor he wants to talk to Deniz, so Taylor leaves. Sensible. Deniz asks Cole why he invited her, and he says that he wants her and Taylor to be friends. Deniz accurately points out that that isn't going to happen. Taylor, off with PC, complains about all the drama. Cole insists on introducing Taylor and Deniz and tells them to become friends. They look identical. And all they have to talk about is that this is a weird, awkward situation that Cole is putting them in.
Jessie's place. She's meeting with the Hampton branch of the Operation Smile people. Strap in for exciting fundraising committee action! Jessie appears to run the meeting, and I think the other people in the meeting are sighing a lot. Jessie brings up Camille and complains about her not following up. The end!
Harvard! Camille is excited! She explains to us that "The Ivy League schools are the best schools that you can get into in the Northeast." Just the northeast? You're going to need to crank up that snobbishness if you're going to become good enough for Harvard. Maite, Kelli, and Camille meet their red-clad tour guide, who is named "Scarlet" and studied Russian Literature as an undergraduate at Harvard. Kelli describes her as follows: "She had a really weird voice, and she kind of bothered me. I just thought she was kind of pretentious and rude." Ah, that's the Harvard we all know and love! Scarlet, who talks like she might have lockjaw, grills Kelli on whether she will apply to Harvard. She doesn't know. A guy in a gorilla suit walks by. Then their actual tour guide, a student named David, shows up. Scarlet wishes Camille luck in getting into Harvard "although, you know, you probably won't." Classy! Camille is speechless.
The tour goes fine. It's an attractive campus with many old buildings. One of David's friends interrupts the tour to hit on the girls.
Taylor and PC shop for candy at a large candy store. There is Pez. PC interviews that if we'd just be open-minded, we'd understand that Taylor isn't an idiot, the way he assumed at the beginning. They go to the Erotic Candy section, where Taylor expresses the opinion that the body chocolate is unsanitary. PC grills her about Cole, and she complains about him a bit. Eventually, PC invites her to a very exclusive party he's having. "And don't bring Cole!"
Kelli's place. Camille has come over to tell her that PC and Taylor have been hanging out together. Kelli insists that she doesn't care. I don't either, but I'm at least paying attention. Camille calls PC, who claims to be at the intermission of the opera. Camille asks PC what's the deal with him going from being condescending about how young Taylor is to hanging out with her. PC gets very explicit: "There's nothing about me that wants to pursue her in any kind of way." PC explains again that Taylor is "a project" then invites Camille over to his little hotel suite party thing. She coolly says "Love to," then gloats after hanging up the phone.
Midcommercial: Jessie is at a restaurant meeting with Lauren, who is a jewelry designer. She's got some stuff for Operation Smile. Jessie is gleeful over the necklaces.
PC is at Jessie's place, making fun of her Fashion Institute of Technology pennant. She is unfazed, pointing out that she's gotten into a college and where's his acceptance letter? PC sits on her bed ("No shoes on my bed!" she snaps) and plays with her stuffed animals. She asks him if he's gay, and he changes the subject to Taylor. She tells him he isn't Jesus and should focus on himself and getting into college before trying to save anyone else. PC gets angry when Jessie gets her "Save the Date" email for her benefit. There's some uninteresting yelling, which I don't think they're taking very seriously. PC decides not to invite Jessie to his party and leaves.
Cole and his buddy Kyle are at Katz's Deli, which I hear is amazing. Cole is moaning about Taylor's world not revolving exclusively around her. Kyle tells Cole about PC's party, to which Taylor (and not Cole) has an invitation. And apparently Taylor didn't even mention it to Cole.
PC's party! He's renting a penthouse suite for a senior year blowout. People show up. There is drinking. The reason that PC invited Camille is so that he can gleefully demand information about her date with Dan. You remember Dan, right? PC's friend, who went on a date with Camille? He's at the party. Camille unwisely offers to give Yes/No answers to questions. The first question is "Did Dan pay for it," but before Camille can answer, someone else asks "Did you [bleep] him?" PC insists on one answer at a time. PC makes them kiss each other on the cheek and say "Everything's okay between us." There's a lot of drinking. PC gets a text from Taylor saying she can't come because she's been grounded. Nobody buys her excuse. PC calls her "the dumbest girl I've ever known."
Just then! Cole shows up at PC's party! That's weird, what with him having been explicitly not invited. And since Taylor isn't even there, it's not clear what Cole's going to be doing. Cole takes PC out on the balcony and declares, "Here's the situation. I'll break it down for ya." Then he complains in a high-speed voice about not knowing what Taylor is up to. He's seriously talking way too fast. PC is nonplussed and also doesn't care. I know PC frequently claims not to care about things, but I believe him on this point. He has no interest in the details of Cole and Taylor's relationship. Nobody has any interest in that. That's one of the problems with this show.
At Union Square (I know because it's written on the subway entrance), Cole confronts Taylor about how he went to a party to confront her about going to a party without him, but she wasn't there and he couldn't confront her then, so now he wants to confront her about that. He wants Taylor to say what they are, and she suggests they not call it anything. He gets her to admit that she doesn't want to be in a relationship, and they're broken up. She says they can still hang out, and that goes about as well as it usually does. They hug, and I guess that's it for that. Taylor says that she was trying not to smile while walking away from Cole.
week is the season finale. Sweet.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks should be done with overprivileged teens in Monty on Movies: Bye Bye Birdie and Fanboys. Now that's range!