Oh, that's right. This show.
PC and Camille are walking through the streets of New York. Camille still wants to talk to Jessie about Operation Smile so she can have a charity on her resume and get into Harvard and have a perfect life. And she wants to do it as a junior so she won't be seen as a poser who only cares about the credit. Well, then maybe talking about the credit on a nationally televised show was a poor plan. The kids recap the show plot about how Jessie doesn't care about meeting new people and can come off like a bitch. Camille is worried about "underexceeding [Jessie's] expectations". "Underexceeding"? Insert joke about vocabulary and Harvard here.
Kelli is interviewing voice coaches for her theoretical singing career. Scott the Voice Coach is at Kelli's place for an interview, and he explains that he doesn't have that many students in the city and that he doesn't have an album. He's out. is Kathy the Vocal Coach, who has brought a tiny guitar, which she uses to accompany her tuneless warbling about making coffee. It is a hellish nightmare beyond all imagining. Out. Breck the Vocal Coach looks a little weird and puts Kelli off by staring at her intensely. He teaches the art of body singing, which baffles Kelli. Kelli sings some scales to his guitar accompaniment, and he compliments her power and range. But he's still out. Incidentally, you have realized that we're going to see Kelli in some American Idol season at some point, right? Whether it's the awful auditions or the actual show, I don't know. But she'll be in there.
Debbie the Dance Teacher is working with Taylor. She explains her life plan, which is to dance and become a superstar. She takes a lot of dance classes, which is a good start. She has a dance performance tonight and she's nervous. This is riveting material. She tells her fellow dancers that her father didn't come, but her brother and mother are there. Her brother's being a pretty good sport, if you ask me. Anyway, blah blah blah divorce blah. There's a dance in fishnets, which would be classier if it weren't being done with metal folding chairs. There's a wardrobe malfunction involving a hole in in the crotch of Taylor's tights, and the performance is stopped to get her a different dress. Her brother is having a great time and is totally happy he decided to come. The dance starts over, and it's kind of dull. Taylor's brother can't help staring at the camera and smirking whenever he sees it.
Taylor's mother wants her to do well in school, which Taylor ranks fourth behind dance, gymnastics and her love life.
I already mentioned that the music on this show sounds a lot like "(Keep Feeling) Fascination," right? Good.
Jessie meets with her mother to talk about what Jessie wants to do. Jessie explains that she wants to "do fashion" and can't decide between the marketing and the art. Jessie's mother sounds exactly like Jessie. PC mentioned in an earlier episode that there was a picture of Jessie's mother as a young lady that looked exactly like Jessie, and I can believe it. Her recommendation to Jessie is that she start working. Jessie's been sending out resumes and working with Operation Smile. She's visited a lot of colleges and decided that she wants to go to FIT (the Fashion Institute of Technology). Her mother is worried about her moving away, although Jessie accurately points out that FIT is right there in the city.
Sebastian is still around? Great. He's taking someone named Angel out to a restaurant. She's a senior and refers to tenth graders as "sweet little sophomores, [who] haven't a care in the world!" Sebastian claims that "getting older girls is an accomplishment". Angel's applied for Vassar and thinks Sebastian should go to college in California because he has hair like a surfer. He tells her that his mother is French and explains to us that "girls in the city see me as a French... guy. So I always try to speak French around girls because they like it. It always works!" Angel speaks French. She's interned in Paris. Sebastian quickly runs out of things to say in French and tells us that he doesn't think he'll be hanging out with Angel after tonight. What's French for "Good one, Dummy"?
Cole and Taylor meet up at Bryant Park, which you might recognize as "the place Montykins always thinks is the ice skating rink at Rockefeller Center." Cole is gleeful about Sebastian being out of the picture and wants to know if they are "for real." Taylor confirms that they are.
Camille comes to Jessie's place. Jessie tells us that she started with Operation Smile when she was a freshman. Camille's worried because of Jessie's rumored bitchiness. Jessie is willing to accept the help from Camille as long as she's serious. They have a fifty-person committee, which is then broken into subcommittees. Jessie is in charge of the Fashion Committee (which reminds me that Daria is coming out on DVD! Finally!) and meets with designers. Camille interviews that she thinks Jessie is "blowing herself up a bit" but is much friendlier in person, praising how organized everything sounds. Jessie reiterates how important it is that Camille be committed. This segues into Jessie "getting to know" Camille. Camille's gone to an all-girls school all her life, which Jessie thinks is weird. Camille claims that Jessie's school is easier and more laid-back, which Jessie takes offense to. Camille tries to let it go, but she just can't. Camille tells us that she is convinced that her school requires more work and that Jessie's school gives time off for parties and probably Earth Day. Jessie interviews: "Kids from my school go to amazing colleges. So why don't you check our record before you say something like that, Camille." Then she does an annoying clicky-wink thing.
The discussion apparently goes on for awhile, and Camille claims that she eventually lets it go. Frankly, since neither of the schools will allow their names to be mentioned on the show, I have a hard time caring.
Jessie is talking about horoscopes or something with Kat when the doorbell goes crazy. It's PC, finding a way to be annoying when he's not even in the room. Jessie complains to PC and Kat about Camille's claim that her school was harder. It's hard to understand her because she's talking really fast and eating chips at the same time. Kat and PC are supportive of Jessie's anger. PC says, "It's like, well, let's see who gets into college first." Well, you and Jessie are seniors and Camille's a junior. I don't think that's an entirely fair race. The three of them snipe at Camille, describing her as a boring, obnoxious, 12-year-old. Jessie's mother comes in and PC keeps calling her "Susan" and telling her she looks stunning. Jessie tells him to stop flirting with her mother, which is a fair request.
Kelli is with Badiene the Vocal Coach. Badiene is the perfect vocal coach, but she doesn't take just anyone. So now Kelli has to audition for a coach! Kelli does not know what a chord structure is, nor what key she sings the Star-Spangled Banner in. She just sings. Kelli says that "Celebrities like Natalie Cole, Michael Jackson and Josh Groban have used her techniques." First of all, note the "like." Michael Jackson was naturally talented. She's saying a celebrity "like" Michael Jackson. Second, note "her techniques." So these people who are similar but distinct from Josh Groban didn't necessarily study with Badiene, but did use the techniques. There are a lot of weasel words in there.
Badiene sits at a piano and leads Kelli through some exercises, occasionally telling Kelli to stop fidgeting and making faces. Kelli interviews that she's very confident, although she fidgets a lot. Kelli sings the Star-Spangled Banner, and it involves a lot of bleating. Badiene still praises her and suggests going to a stylist. She even has a logo in mind: "KELLI!" With the exclamation point. Kelli knows that she needs an image.
Taylor comes home to find her mother opening her report card. She's worried and her brother is positively vibrating with anticipation. Apparently Taylor's last report card wasn't good and she promised this one would be better. The new report card does have a 92 on it, but it's in gym. It's lecture time! Taylor has to get better grades and get into a good college. But she just doesn't have time! Taylor's mother tells her she'll have to stop something. But she wants to just promise to do better.
Midcommercial: PC shops for clothes, telling us that he likes fashion and sketches clothes. "There's nothing better on a man than a well-tailored suit," he says. I believe that's correct, actually. Then he asks us if he seems metrosexual.
It's time for another therapy session with PC. His therapist Audrey has kind of an Anne Meara feel to her. They talk about college and working and playing. He says that everyone in his circle started drinking in eighth grade. And he gets bored and looks for "more and more." Nothing seems exciting to PC anymore. He claims to want to be a better person and make better decisions. He tells us that he's trying to get out of his adolescent phase and become an adult. Well, there's no better route to maturity than being on a reality show!
Jessie! She wants an internship with a fashion designer and has her mother look over her resume. Her mother finds it impressive. Jessie would like us to clearly understand that she made the resume herself and just handed it over to her mother for a review. Consider it noted. Her mother's main concern is that Jessie spell words out when she e-mails people in a business context. ["OMG! I <3 yr company!" - Zach] She also thinks her cover letter is too specific and that Jessie should send resumes out to other designers, of whom she has a list. Jessie interviews, "Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm only 17. I have so much time to do so many things, and it's hard sometimes because I'm so ready to work and to do stuff."
PC is determined to try new things, so he's going to a photo shoot. To get there, he walks through a bar decorated with glowing glass deer heads. They're pretty cool, but awfully distracting. PC is doing manual labor, moving chairs and helping prepare the background of the photos. He sneers in an interview, but he does a pretty good job of lifting and carrying the things he's told to lift and carry. He puts the camera on the tripod backwards, but it's his first day. It's easily fixed. He swaps out lenses and arranges the model's dress to cover her lady parts.
Trey the gay stylist hits on PC a little, which he claims to be used to. The editor-in-chief of the magazine makes PC and the photographer unbutton their shirts and pose together. The shirts come off and pants get pulled down a little. PC says he'd rather go get Starbucks, but he does what he's told. He mentions that he got the stylist's number and that everyone will go out some time. I did like seeing PC shut up and do a job. It's a good sign.
Back to Jessie! She's got a job interview, which she seems excited about. It's her first job interview, but she's hoping that her experience interviewing at schools will carry over. Let's find out! Her goal is to convey her personal passion for public relations. Really? That's weird. Also weird: it's something called a group interview, in which four people interview at the same time for the same job. Never heard of it. Jessie tells us that she felt like a prostitute, having to sell herself so openly. Get used to it, sister. The PR guy conducting the interview says that they're hiring only a few people for Fashion Week and wants to hear everyone's strengths and weaknesses. It is the usual batch of "I'm a perfectionist" stuff. Jessie is wearing a dress made by the designer she's trying to work for, which seems like a good idea. The interviewer wants people who will work 24/7 and can start tomorrow. I have a feeling that Fashion Week is kind of like a giant combine thresher, into which you throw interns and hope that a couple of them survive.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what vlogger Sean Crespo thinks should be done with overprivileged teens in No Prior Knowledge!
Monty has a Movie Novelization blog called Monty on Movie Novelizations, but he hasn't updated it in a couple of weeks because he's reading a novelization of some silent movies. They're entertaining, but sloooow. You can email Monty at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.