Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT There's Glass Between Us
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 5 | Aired on 04.19.2010
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Great episode. Seriously, best of the season so far.
Coop is asked by a tortured Akalitus to serve as the Face Of All Saints for a new PR campaign directed at higher-class, insured clientele. Seems evil -- and he douches it right up, of course -- but then you're reminded of the kind of worthless trash that All Saints is being forced to treat, even though they don't deserve healthcare: Marion Ross guest stars as a Farscape-looking elder-abuse case whose negligent (state-paid) caregiver is handed over to the cops to distract them from an undocumented worker that Jackie likes enough to usher out the back door so he can go back to stealing our jobs. This is exactly why the liberals want death panels, it's shit like this.
We finally catch a glimpse of Eleanor's lovely girlfriend, who is so real she's even on TV! Sam lets Eleanor down easy after following her around with puppydog eyes for most of the episode, since his girlfriend is back in town, too. He also gets the shit smacked out of his kissable face by Zoey when he reflexologically realizes something's going on with her uterus. In the end, she admits to Lenny -- not the father -- that she got knocked up by her crush's brother at a Staten Island barbecue, and rebuffs his attempts to be awesome some more.
Most shocking of all: When Jackie learns that Kevin and Jenny Flynn took the kids to the worst goddamn movie ever made -- which Jackie wanted to see for herself -- she sleeps on the couch, screwing up her back and sending her back into the sweet arms of Percocet. (Upside: Grace can finally once again see the inside of Tim Burton's head, where she came from.) Then, after a long day and no call back from Kevin, Jackie shockingly calls Eddie for the movie instead. Yep.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Jackie gets home at two in the morning -- Kevin's asleep and looking dreamy as hell -- and puts on her jammies and cleans out her pockets. On the dresser, the music winks at us, are five tickets to the worst movie ever made in the history of cinema. She turns on the light and wakes him up: "Really? Alice in Wonderland?" My thoughts exactly.
He admits that he went with the girls, and -- with a little prodding -- Ginny and Kaitlyn Flinn. Dumb, dumb move. He swears it was a last minute thing, and for him it is -- this is the man who let Creepy Eddie play Uno with his kids after a week of knowing him only as a bar regular -- but Jackie assures him that for Ginny it was no such thing. "Last minute? Please. That woman has been planning what to wear since high school." Kevin calls her jealous and crazy, and Jackie brushes her teeth and reminds him that Ginny's marriage is falling apart. "Seriously, Jackie, you're nuts," he mumbles from his hands.
"Seriously, Kevin? You're mine." She flops into bed with him, and then decides to prove the point by boning him. Things are adorable, and then they get hot, and then it goes away again. It's painfully accurate how quickly this can happen. "Oh. Shit. I'm sleeping on the couch." Is she overreacting? Or is she reacting? (Does Jackie Peyton know the difference?)
He follows her downstairs, and she admits that she's partially pissed because she wanted to see that shitty movie. Why didn't he at least alert her to the fact that they were leaving her out? (This is the part that would bug me too.) Kevin says he didn't want to tell her because she would end up sleeping on the couch, which congratulations. "See where that gets ya," she says, and hurls herself away, into the couch. Very real. Too real. As is him standing there in his boxers like, "What now?"
The girls are staring down at her in the morning, eating cereal out of the box. Fiona wants to marry Johnny Depp (of course) and (also of course) this is Grace's spooky two-word review: "Tim Burton." I love the way she says this, shuffling cereal into her face, like that's all you need to know: Tim Burton, Grace's total inspiration in all areas of life. Fiona impresses upon Jackie that she needs to see it, that she'll really like it, and Jackie can't even open her eyes for a second. I love how kids don't even know what's going on, like, Jackie's half-awake but still pissed they went without her, and Fiona's not even being that normal tiny amount of mean when she's like, "Mom, this was so your movie." Jackie breathes for a sec and then grins without opening her eyes: "Okay. Done."
I believe that this is when the Eddie wheel starts turning in her crazy head: Oh, I'll go fucking see this movie, you betcha. And who better with than the man I've always used to keep you guys in suspense, without you knowing it. And thus I shall have my revenge. On my children.
As well as on Kevin for the Ginny thing, of course, but it's still very addict of her. Grace mumbles darkly, "You shouldn't be sleeping on the couch," before shambling away; Fiona shoves a handful of cereal in her mommy's mouth.
Lunch, at that airy, classy place they go. Jackie wonders aloud why not one stabbing or GSW is ever "the unsinkable Ginny Flynn," and Eleanor offers to let her bleed to death when that happens. "My two cents? No sleeping on couches. It makes people -- i.e. husbands -- ask questions like 'Is something wrong?' 'Can we talk?' Et cetera. No good comes of it, believe me." Plus the back issues the couch engenders, which has rendered her useless. Eleanor breezily/sweetly says she's many things but not useless, and offers her a half-a-Percocet.
Up on the bar's TV screen, sexy reporter Sarah Kohri is reporting on Gaza. Jackie gazes up at her admiringly, and Eleanor thinks for a second before dipping her toe into that one: "She's leaving Gaza to take a desk in Washington," she says, not looking up from the paper, and then admits that she knows Sarah. "Swanky life," Jackie laughs, and Eleanor nods. One more Percocet offer -- "too hard on the liver!" Jackie gasps, and Eleanor points out it's only true if you take it in "obscene" quantities. Girl, they don't have an MPAA rating for how obscene Jackie can get with a bottle of Percocet. Jackie's eyes are drawn back to Sarah: "God, I could not love her more!" Eleanor sucks her teeth and shakes out her paper and says sarcastically, "Yeah? Well. Get in line."