In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Stephanie's old friend Lena is attacked in her home, so it's the super-couple to the rescue, right? Nope. At least, not as a couple. Jim won't "let" Stephanie help, so she does some investigating on her own. Eventually though, she and Jim do team up, because Lena's assailant is a slimmed down Ethan Suplee, who can turn into steam or mist or something. It's hard to tell, when this show leaves me in such a fog. At any rate, Steamer was once a prisoner, and Dr. RevCam King and Lena experimented on him with the seekrit serum, and gave him the ability to dematerialize at will -- you know, like the show's audience. Eventually, Steamer shares this information with Steph, but later King covers pretty well. King also sees security footage of Jim and Steph in super-action at Global tech, and keeps that under his hat, too. And that's not all he does in this episode; he also tells Katie all the evil things "Joshua" has done. Joshua tries to lie and cover, but Katie's not buying it, so instead he uses some mind-control and mind-wiping on her. Ain't love grand?
The kids' story is better than the adults' -- this week. Chris asks Daphne out and Bailey asks out JJ. Jim won't let sophomore Daphne go out with Chris because he's a senior and has a motorcycle. However, Jim fist-bumps freshman JJ when he gets a date with a senior. You know, I can see the motorcycle thing, but senior boys dating sophomore girls is hardly scandalous, so this is just annoying. Daphne, righteously ticked at her dad's double-standard, sneaks out for her date anyhow. But once Chris realizes she lied to her dad, they get in an argument and Daphne stomps off. When she is accosted by a gun-wielding mugger or possibly a rapist, Chris zooms to the rescue on his bike. But it's not Chris that scares off G-W MopaR. Daphne does -- accidentally. When she tells the guy to drop his gun and walk away, he obeys meekly, and Daphne realizes she has the power of mind control. This new newbility comes in handy when she gets home and Jim realizes she defied him and snuck out with Chris. He grounds her for two weeks, but Daphne gives him a mental push and he reverses her grounding to a "time" warning.
As for JJ, at first, Daphne is convinced Bailey is just using him because the S.A.T.s are coming up, but when she reads the girl's mind, she realizes her interest in JJ is sincere. Daphne has the grace to tell JJ this, and he and Bailey end up going out. While they're parking and looking at the stars, Bailey kisses him, and JJ's mind flashes to Natalie. He tells Bailey he can't be with her, and... I can't buy it. I'll hit that in weecap. Believe me.
I'll be back tomorrow with the weecap. In the meantime, please grade the episode up top, and come join the discussion down in our show thread.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Jim: Um... Where's the recapper?
Daphne: I'm not sure, but I can read her thoughts.
Jim: Any explanation for why she's not...you know...recapping.
Daphne: Er...sorta. She's in a dark corner, rocking back and forth saying. "You can't. I won't. You can't. I won't." And there's this little...demon looking thing, menacing her.
Katie: A demon-looking thing? Describe, please.
Daphne: Hold on. It's hard to get a clear picture with all the rocking.... Okay, well, he kind of looks like a TV. A TV with horns and antenna. He's got a jagged sort of tail, and the tip is shaped like an arrow head.
Katie: Oh, that's just Tubey. He's the TWoP mascot, or evil overlord, or something. He's undoubtedly trying to make her write.
George: I've got a location on her. She's in her home office, just North of Boston.
Jim: I'll save her. Up, up, and AWAYYYYYY!
Recapper: Tubey, I just can't. Okay. The well is dry. I don't really care what you do to me. Heck, maybe if you torture me, I'll learn how to feel again.
Tubey: My plan is coming together perfectly, as my plans always do.
Jim: Thud. I'm here to save the day!
Recapper: Oh frak. That's a new roof, Jim.
Tubey: Muahahahahaha.
Jim: I don't get it. You need saving, don't you?
Recapper: Look Jim, I appreciate your help, although I'd appreciate it more if you were a roofer, but I was trying to hide from you guys.
Jim: But Daphne said this Tubey character was menacing you.
Recapper: He was menacing me with just this scenario. He decided to loom over me, until Daphne got a reading off me, assumed he was going to hurt me, and told you, at which point you'd come save the day.
Jim: You dastardly fiend!
Tubey: My work here, is done. I need a shot and a cigar. That was a hard two minutes of menacing.
Recapper: Don't light up one of those stink-bombs in this house or by God, I will take a Louisville Slugger to your face...belly...to your...you.
Tubey: Talk to the tail.
Jim: So, are we gonna get going on this or what?
Recapper: We are, Jim, but why don't you and the rest of the crew take the week off. I'm just gonna do this quick and dirty.
Jim: Great! Maybe I can finally get some alone time with my hot wife.
Recapper: I hope you do, Jim. And thanks for trying to save me, even if it didn't work out that well.
Jim: I'm sorry you don't...like us.
Recapper: I like you all just fine. It's the storytelling that grates. You're great, likable characters. There's just something broken with this show. It's not bad enough to be truly terrible and it's not good enough to...truly enjoy.
Jim: We're really trying.
Recapper: I know you are, and it shows. Come on now. Leap on back to Metropolis and enjoy your free time.
Jim: Okay, kiddo. And chin up, okay?
Recapper: Will do. Thanks.
Well, everyone, I'm sorry you had to see that. Let's get to it. This episode is all about the double standard. It's okay for Jim to fight crime, but not for Stephanie. It's okay for freshman JJ to date a senior girl (Bailey, formerly known as Beeyotch), but it's not okay for sophomore Daphne to date a senior boy. The kids' story largely works. The adults story gives me pins and needles in what's left of my brain. My own mother, who has been positive about this show, called me this morning and said she turned it off in the middle, because it was so mind-numbingly bad.
Jim: We've lost your mom?
Recapper: Hot wife. Go home to her. But yeah, you've lost mom, and I think she was your biggest fan.
Anyhow, let me lay it out for you. Stephanie goes out for dinner with her old scientist buddy, Lena. When the ladies leave the restaurant it's clear they're being watched -- watched by someone who turns into mist and floats away. Later, we'll learn he's played by Ethan Suplee (Randy, on My Name Is Earl), but he's slimmed down and cleaned up. Thank goodness. When I was in talks with TWoP about writing for the site, I submitted a My Name Is Earl recap, when editorial requested a writing sample. I should put it up somewhere. Greasy old Randy pretty much got me this job. But enough about me.
Anyhow, Lena goes home, calls Steph and is attacked while they're on the phone. Stephanie zoops to Lena's house and finds her beaten and out cold. She resolves to find Lena's assailant, but when she talks to Jim about it, he doesn't want her working the case. That's his job. They then get into this whole big thing about whether super-strength is a better crime fighting ability than super speed. They pull George and Katie into it, although to be fair, George and Katie do try to reason with their respective heroes. At some point, Jim and Steph accidentally meet up at Lena's. They're both after a description of her attacker. Jim does a great sketch. Stephanie? Well, she's a scientist, not an artist, so your 10-year-old could do a better one, but it's okay, because Katie has downloaded police sketch software, so she types in Stephanie's description and the program does the drawing or something. Look, I don't know. This is so dumb it just won't stay in my brain. Don't make me watch again.
Tubey: *smirks*
Recapper: Get that stinky cigar out of my house or I'm pulling an Elvis, you little dickens.
Tubey: Some people are so touchy.
ANYHOW, both heroes and sidekicks determine that Lena's description matches the picture of a one Robert Gomez, who just happens to be the valet who got Lena her car at the end of her dinner with Steph. Stephanie gets to Gomez first in a parking garage, but of course he's not the perp, so he just thinks she's a crazy lady. When he gets in his car to drive away, Stephanie zoops into the passenger seat, grabs his keys out of the ignition and zoops out, and then locks him in his car, which isn't really possible. You can unlock automatic locks, manually. I want to stab my eyes out with Tubey's tail. Whatever. The arrest doesn't stick, because Gomez's alibi is airtight. He was working all night and a gajillion people saw him, which means Lena lied when she described her attacker.
As things devolve between Jim and Steph, Katie decides to visit George. She brings him a Smoothie and makes a big show of saying the two of them should keep things friendly, but meanwhile, she plants some sort of device near the lair's computer that will allow her to hack into it, remotely. So now, Katie will have access to any intel George receives.
Somewhere in there, Jim finds out that the Mist guy's name is Bob Seeley, but I'm calling him Steamer, because I can. Steamer has served time with quite a few of the super villains Jim has already apprehended. When he decides to go out and investigate, Stephanie decides to take a shower. Steamer takes this opportunity to mist himself through the shower head and into her bathroom and GAH I am fricking cringing because his steaminess was all over her naked body. Ew. Ew. Ew.
Stephanie: *zoop* I know, RIGHT?! And the writers didn't even really address that, so at first I'm thinking, well, he's just mist so it's not like it was really his body. But then later, when he's in mist form and choking me, it's apparent his mist has more physicality than mist ought to have and I...I...I feel so violated.
Recapper: Girl, zoop back home, snuggle up with Jim, and try to put it out of your mind. I've got this.
So anyhow, Steph screams and Jim comes rushing back. He grabs Steamer who turns to mist. You can't really fight mist even though mist can (as Steph mentioned) fight you, which makes no sense and UGH. The short of it is Steamer's memory has mostly been erased but he remembers Lena and some guy injecting him with something, and whatever it was has made him the Steamer he is today. Jim's going to take a description and sketch the mystery man, but then Steamer spies a picture of Dr. King on an ad for an award ceremony, says that's the guy, loses his shit, and floats away.
At Global Tech, Steamer finds King and threatens him. King says he didn't harm Steamer; he helped him after he was paralyzed in a prison fight. Steamer is not swayed. He ends up knocking King out, but before he can hurt him further, Steph zoops in to the rescue. This is where Steamer's steam is able to pick up Steph and choke her and ugh, it's so bad. Jim arrives soon thereafter, on Steph's choked-out instruction, he blasts Steamer with some nitrogen, which makes Steamer revert to a solid, much like this story. It's not long before he turns to mist again and floats away. Jim and Steph take off before King regains consciousness, even though we all know there are cameras everywhere in this joint. I wish they had been written to be smarter about this. It just makes me sad.
Back at the Powell Pad, Jim and Steph try to figure out whether King is a good guy or a bad guy. The day at Global Tech, Stephanie brings up Lena's name to see what he'll say about her. He claims he hasn't talked to her since she and Steph were grad students. Now, at the top of the hour, when Lena and Steph were leaving the restaurant, Lena brings up King and says they talk from time to time, so Steph knows he's lying, and that he's dirty. I totally missed that in the recaplet and I'm sorry.
At the reception, Steph has to give a speech in King's honor. She really lays it on thick, reading the text of a letter he sent to her years ago, about how everything they do is to help people and for truth, justice, the American way, puppies, Christmas, rainbows, and lollipops. Meanwhile, Charlotte from Lost (who they keep insisting is some chick named Victoria) catches and shoots both Lena and Steamer.
Now, even though the kids's stories were better, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on them. I think it's a defense mechanism. I want to keep liking something about this show, and the closer I examine things, the harder it is to maintain a positive outlook.
Chris drives Daphne home on his motorcycle and kisses her on the cheek. This freaks Jim out, even though the girl is at least a sophomore. He refuses to let Daphne go out on a date with Chris, because he's a senior and because he has a motorcycle. But let's face it -- it's mostly because he's a senior, because he doesn't propose they borrow his car, or take the bus, and he makes a big show about how senior boys are only after one thing. Then JJ comes in and announces he has a date with Bailey. Jim fist bumps him. He'll allow that, because JJ's only freshman. Right, because freshmen boys never, ever think of sex? Please. And while Stephanie is a little bugged by the double standard, she really doesn't take Daphne's part. She just lets it fuel her rivalry with Jim. It pisses me off. The Powell parents could at least tell Daphne that they want to get to know Chris before they let her go out with him. And I mean, the girl's a mind-reader. If he has bad intentions, she would know, right?
Daphne's understandably bitter that JJ gets to date a senior while she doesn't, so she tries to poison the well, telling him Bailey is probably just using him because S.A.T.s are coming up. And hey, it's a possibility. But to give big sister credit, when she talks to Bailey and realizes her interest in JJ is sincere, Daphne goes back to JJ and tells him that, too. In the course of the conversation though, she hears JJ think Natalie's name, rather than Bailey's, as he anticipates his date. He's just using Bailey to make Natalie feel bad. JJ yells that his brain is off limits, which...whatever.
JJ and Bailey end up parked at a Lover's Lane type place. He's showing her all the constellations, and they start to make out, but while they're kissing, his memories of Natalie float to the surface. JJ breaks the clinch and tells Bailey he can't be with her. Bailey is understandably pissed. I am understandably gaping in disbelief. He's 14 or 15. He may really like Natalie, but he is 14 or 15 and this gorgeous, popular senior girl with a car wants to make out with him. And he's single. Natalie dumped his ass. I don't buy that he would come to this conclusion so swiftly. Still, the story was otherwise well told.
Now, to back up, Bailey arrives to pick up JJ right around the time Chris arrives (with flowers!) to get Daphne. Daphne almost tells Chris she's not allowed to see him, but watching JJ go out with Bailey, with parental permission no less, pisses her off, so she goes on her date. I don't blame her.
Once Chris realizes Daphne lied to her dad (telling him she went to a friend's), they get in an argument, because Chris can see Jim's point. Daphne ends up storming off. When she is accosted by a gun-wielding mugger or possibly a rapist, Chris zooms to the rescue on his bike. But it's not Chris that scares off G-W MopaR. Daphne does -- accidentally. When she tells the guy to drop his gun and walk away, he obeys meekly, and Daphne realizes she has the power of mind control. This new newbility comes in handy when she gets home and Jim realizes she defied him and snuck out with Chris. He grounds her for two weeks, but Daphne gives him a mental push and he reduces her grounding to a "time" warning. Is Daphne a mini-Joshua? I kind of hope she is.
Katie: Hey, what about me?
Recapper: What are you doing here? Go back to Metropolis. I'm almost done. You'll just slow me down.
Katie: Fine, sheesh. I was just trying to help.
Recapper: Oh Katie, I didn't mean it like that. I just want to give you guys a break. I'm sure I'll see you time. Go, enjoy yourself.
Katie: Okay, I have plans with Joshua anyhow. Toodles.
Recapper: Crap, I hate sending her back to him without her knowing what's going on. And here's what's going on. King is still trying to get Joshua to come back and minionate for him. Joshua wants nothing to do with it, so King threatens to reveal all of Joshua's past sins to Katie. And he does just that. He gives her a dossier on Joshua, chock full of his evil deeds and informs her that Joshua was one of the late Dr. Chile's subjects. Poor Katie.
Later, when Joshua arrives at Katie's, she's ready to kick him to the curb. She even knows he's a murderer. Now wait, if there's proof he's a murderer -- the kind of proof that would turn up on an alleged background check (um...I didn't mention it above, but King said he had the dossier on Joshua because they do background checks not only on employees, but on their families and significant others), wouldn't he be in jail? I don't know how to explain my objection here. I'm just thinking, if I'm Katie and King hands me a file like that that allegedly proves my boyfriend is a murderer, wouldn't my first question to King be, "If he's really killed people, why isn't he in the big house?" And then, wouldn't I call the cops, or at least George? I'm over-thinking this, right? Okay. Stopping now. Whatever, Joshua tries to explain himself to Katie, but how exactly do you explain away being a murderer? In the end he has to erase her memory. Poor Katie. I feel a little for Joshua too, because it seems to me his redemption is real.
The episode ends with Dr. King in his office. He's reviewing the security tapes and sees that while he was unconscious, Stephanie and Jim came into Global Tech and there's evidence of both their super powers right there in black and white. Their secret is out, and if King is as bad as he smells from here, that can't be good. I'm trying to care, really I am, but every time an episode ends on a suspenseful note, the suspense turns into a Steamer in the cold open of the episode, so I can't hold out too much hope. How about you? Shoot me an e-mail at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or shout out to me on Twitter, and let me know why you're still watching.
As always, please grade the episode up top, and come join the discussion down in our show thread. See you week, because clearly Tubey can hunt me down, no matter where I hide. Darn it.