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Jim's deadbeat brother Mike drops in (in the middle of the night, like a burglar) for a visit. He's a gambler who is in debt up to his eyeballs. During a guys' night out, Mike gets roughed up by a loan shark's muscle. When Jim comes to the rescue, the bad guys rough him up, too. An ordinary man would be dead, so Jim quickly admits his super powers to Mike, who then learns about the rest of the family's newbilities and visits the lair, too. It's not long before Mike sneaks JJ out of school, to use his super brain for some gambling -- at the track, which is not where I'd take a super-genius, but whatevs. When Jim finds out, he blasts Mike, but since Mike is in ten times deeper than he admits, and is about to become a father to boot, Jim softens toward him. Then the loan shark grabs Mike and tells Jim he has 24 hours to come up with the money or Mikey bites it. Jim decides taking JJ to the track is his best bet to come up with the money, and they're raking in the cash, but we have to have some moralizing, so of course they let their winnings ride all on one horse (because that's super-smart) who gets hurt. In the end, Jim tries to exchange his life for Mike's and then he and Mike fight the loan shark and his minions. Once they knock them out, they call in the cops.
Meanwhile, Global Tech is going to move Katie out of Pacific Bay and to Miami and give her her own lab. Joshua wants to go with her. He again tries to separate himself from the evil Dr. RevCam King, but Charlotte from Lost is working for King, too, and she's a shape-shifter. In construction worker form, she tries to "accidentally" kill our girl Katie. Thankfully, Stephanie zoops to the rescue. Even better, in the end, Katie decides not to go. Daphne has a story, too, and it again involves a boy. I'll hit that in the weecap, tomorrow.
In the meantime, grade the episode up top, and then please join the discussion down in our show thread, which I like to think of as a lair.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, and see the ineffectual TV superheroes the Powells wish they were.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Before we begin, I just want to tell you, gentle readers, that every week I expect to hear ABC has finally cancelled this show, or TWoP has put it on permanent hiatus. But nothing ever happens. I'm starting to wonder if the series itself is juiced up on Dr. King's gooey green serum. Talk about invulnerability! Anyhow my point, and I do have one, is that I want to thank you for reading these little exercises in insanity, and for writing to me. You keep me going. Your e-mails, Tweets and comments in the forum have turned what was becoming a chore into something fun. That's what TWoP is at it's most fun -- that feeling of "OMG, this show is so [whatever]. I can't stop watching it. Come sit to me so we can mock the hell out of it when it's bad, and ourselves when it's good." Thanks for making it worthwhile. Now let's get to it, shall we?
Stephanie: I'll start, because your recapper got knocked off schedule by the huge Nor'easter that hit her, yesterday, and we need to do this quickly.
Recapper: Thanks, Darla.
Stephanie: I can't be Darla today, Recapper. Too much ground to cover. Okay, so you remember how a couple of months ago, my parents came to visit? We're already recycling the visiting-family complication, but to give the writers credit, this time, we don't have to spend the episode hiding our newbilities. Jim's deadbeat brother Mike (Jason Wiles, Maurice on Third Watch) breaks into our house in the middle of the night. For a visit! Ugh, in-laws. AMIRITE people? Anyhow, he says he needs a few days away from his girlfriend. I figure he's just here to cost us money.
Recapper: I just want to add a disclaimer, here. My in-laws rock. You may return to whatever this is.
Katie: Okay, so you'll remember that last week, Joshua and I, well... you know. And afterwards, while I was sniffing his clothes (what? It's a thing!) Stephanie's journal fell out of his pockets -- the journal in which she's been documenting the newbilities. So now it's the morning after, and I'm sitting on a chair to my bed, watching Joshua sleep. But am I holding a dagger like any self-respecting woman would, were she in my situation? No. I'm just sort of looking at him all schmoopy. And my behavior is pissing me off!
Joshua: Katie, you know I'm only doing this to you because the writers make me. So yeah, I wake up to find Katie hovering over me. She's got the journal. She wants answers. Now, mind you, she's probably been reading it all night. She probably nearly has it memorized, but I use my extreme telekineses to change the writing and make it my journal about how I'm falling in love with Katie.
Katie: MEEP! Honey bunny, I have a favor to ask?
Joshua: Anything for you, baby.
Katie: Can we pretend that you also used your super powers to make me forget that I spent the night reading that journal over and over, and I damned well know what it said before you messed with it? Because I'm really feeling like an idiot, right now.
Joshua: Of course. Hey, your phone's ringing. Who is it? What's up?
Katie: It's Global Tech. They want to give me my own lab. In MIAMI. *Squee*
Meanwhile, at Pacific Bay High School...
Daphne: Remember I ran for Student Council? Yeah, well apparently I won, and that gets me a one-way ticket to the suckiest job, ever. I have to sit on a disciplinary panel with a few schoolmates. We have to decide if other kids are guilty of breaking the rules and what their punishment will be. And worst of all, Professor Dick is our advisor.
Professor Dick: Muahahahahahahaha!
Daphne: I have to admit though, my telepathy makes this job a snap, and the nasty side of me enjoys pronouncing the liars guilty. But then there's this kid Chris Minor. He's bad boy, with long wavy hair and a record as long as your arm. He's been caught with Adderall, doesn't have an explanation, and doesn't have a prescription for it. Obviously, he's totally guilty, so I judge him as such. But then -- when he's leaving the room, I read his mind and realize he's covering for someone else.
Meanwhile, at Global Tech...
Stephanie: I'm a little shocked that Katie is being given her own lab after only two years with the company. I'm also a little bitch, because I go to Dr. King to complain about it, instead of supporting her. I can't even look myself in the mirror right now.
Dr. King: I'm evil, right? So I don't like to handle this sort of dirty work by myself, so I pull in Charlotte from Lost (Rebecca Mader). Here she's playing Global Tech's VP of Human Resources and resident hot bitch, Victoria Morrow. Man, I am not minding my job at all right now. Charlotte and Darla getting all catty with each other. MEEE-fricking-OW.
Charlotte: Shouldn't we be calling me Victoria?
Recapper: No.
Charlotte: I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner.
Recapper: Good girl.
Stephanie: Anyhow, Charlotte tries to make me feel bad about betraying Katie, which I totally am. I might have had to try to justify it on screen, but I am so not doing it here.
Later, During a Guys' Night Out...
Mike: Hey, Jim and George. I'm buying, tonight.
Jim: Yeah, yeah. Bro. [Aside, to George.] He never, ever buys. Get your wallet ready.
George: My wallet? He's your brother!
Jim: Hey, where'd Mikey go? Great, now I gotta find him. Up, up and away!
George: Son of a bitch!
Charlotte: Sawyer, is that you?
Recapper: Wrong show, girl. You can tell, because whatever its faults, Lost was interesting.
On the Roof of a Parking Garage...
Bad Guys: We are having the best time pummeling this guy!
Mike: Oof. Glad to be of service. Ouch. Yikes. Mommy!
Jim: Never fear, big brother is here. I will make quick work of these bad guys and save you, you little delinquent. But wait, now they're trying to run me over with their SUV. Luckily, I'm a super he....
The SUV plows straight into Jim and knocks him off the roof.
Jim: SPLAT
Mike: Jim? Jim? Oh Jim, don't be dead! Hey, why aren't the bad guys now coming after me again? This makes no sense.
Charlotte: This place is death.
Recapper: Wordy McSuck, Charlotte, but you're not in this scene.
Stephanie: This is taking too long. I'm taking the reins and speeding things up. Fear my ZOOP. Anyhow, Jim doesn't die from falling off the building, because he's Jim. When the guys get home, Jim tells Mike about his super powers. Mike thinks he's full of shit, but then I zoop into the room. Finally we 'fess up that we all have powers. Mike is such a loser, he's the last one we should tell, but I must say it's a relief not to have to pretend I'm not so frigging awesome.
The Day, at Global Tech...
Katie: So Charlotte from Lost is here, you guys! I'm so excited, at least until she tells me that Stephanie has been stabbing me in the back. Don't let her fool you, Recapper. She totally is Darla this week. You can tell because of her overabundance of SUCK!
Stephanie: Kill me now.
Meanwhile, at the Lair...
George: I am so against Mikey seeing the lair. This was supposed to be our special place, Jim.
Mike: Gotta run. My "accountant" is calling.
George: Accountant? Right. I'm doing a quick search on my computer. Jim, you know those thugs who beat up your brother last night? They work for Frank Matthews, loan shark.
Jim: You can find nameless, faceless thugs on a computer?
George: It's in the lair, Jim. It's a magic computer.
Meanwhile, at the High School...
Daphne: Hey, bad boy, I think you're kinda good.
Chris: I'm totally good. That's the most appealing sort of bad boy -- the good kind. You just have to find my goodness, baby. Find it and bring it to the surface.
Daphne: Blush.
Andrew: Mind your own business, girl.
Daphne: What? Who are you?
Andrew: I'm a star student and Chris's brother. Clearly, I'm the villain in this piece, but you can't know that 'til later, so mum's the word.
Elsewhere at School...
JJ: Uncle Mike, why are you having me dismissed from school? Is my family all right?
Mike: Yeah, I just want to take your freaky little super-brain to the track.
JJ: But I already did a gambling storyline and learned the lesson that these things never end well.
Mike: Don't look at me, kid. I don't write this stuff.
Later, at the Powell Pad...
Jim: What the hell are you doing taking my kid to the track.
Mike: Um... raising business capital.
Daphne: Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Jim: MIKEY!
Mike: All right, I'm $15,000.00 in the hole -- gambling.
Jim: Up, up and away!
At the Loan Shark's Headquarters...
Jim: Listen, Frank Matthews, I am calling you by your full name because it pleases me, Frank Matthews. Anyhow, I want to pay up my deadbeat brother's 15K gambling debt, Frank Matthews.
Frank Matthews: 15K? Try 150K, sucker. And believe me, I always get paid, in money, or in blood...
At George's...
George: Jim, let's go into the lair and figure out how to handle this without getting anyone hurt.
Jim: OMG! The lair has been ransacked. It's been pillaged. Heck, maybe it's even been raped!
George: Everything's gone. Your deadbeat brother totally broke in here and stole my stuff.
Jim: That rascal!
Later...
Mike: I swear, I swear, I didn't plunder the lair.
Jim: You dare! You dare! You dare lie about the lair!
Stephanie: I fear. I fear. We must get this weecap in gear.
Recapper: Bless you.
Stephanie: So anyhow, Jim rips Mike a new one. He's been lying all his life. He's always a disappointment. He wasn't there for Jim when their dad was ill. He's a no-goodnik.
Meanwhile, At Global Tech...
Dr. King: I don't want Joshua to leave. He's like a son to me. See to it he stays, Charlotte.
Charlotte: Then can I have chocolate before dinner?
At the High School...
Daphne: JJ, use your super brain to break into Andrew's locker.
JJ: Already violating civil liberties, Madame President?
Daphne: But it's for the greater good. Like water-boarding, only drier.
JJ: I really wish I understood why I always agree to your plans.
Daphne: Whatever! There are the pills. I knew it wasn't dreamy Chris at fault for this.
Meanwhile, at Global Tech...
Stephanie: Katie, I'm sorry I suck so hard.
Katie: You really do, but I can't stay mad at you because the script says so. Let's have lunch.
Katie and Stephanie: Om nom nom nom.
Stephanie: Okay, so we'll always be besties. Back to work. Even though we still work in the same lab for the nonce, I'm going to walk this way, whereas you should walk over there, under that crane, so that those windows or whatever the crane is hoisting, can come crashing down on your head.
Katie: Okay!
Windows or whatever: Falling now.
Stephanie: Zoop.
Katie: My hero. Heroine. Heroin. Oh Stephanie, I wish I knew how to quit you.
Stephanie: I know, but you can't tell me that 'til later.
Katie: Oh, right.
At the Powell Pad...
Mike: Well, I know where I'm not welcome.
Daphne: You're totally welcome, Uncle. It's your lies and criminal ties that aren't. Hug?
While she hugs him, Daphne has a vision of Mike watching a fetal ultrasound, so she heads off to find her dad at work, because she's a teenaged girl, so she eschews the phone.
At the Precinct...
Daphne: Daddy, Uncle Mike couldn't have robbed the lair, because he was at Tracy's ultrasound when the lair was robbed. I saw the time stamp and everything.
Recapper: Is Mike's girlfriend's name really Tracy?
Daphne: Is Victoria's name really Charlotte? Is the Watcher's name really Joshua? Is your name really Recapper? Who cares?!
Recapper: I think you're the super genius. Tracy it is!
Jim: I'm going to be an uncle! This changes everything. Where is that little dickens? I need to congratulate him. Dials phone.
Mike: Jim, thanks for calling, but I'm about to be killed by Frank Matthews.
Frank Matthews takes the phone.
Frank Matthews: You've got 24 hours to come up with the 150K, or your brother bites it.
Jim: Oh George, whatever shall we do?
George: Well, we are in a police station.
Jim: Don't be ridiculous. You can't involve cops in crimes. You taught me that.
George: I'm touched that you've been paying attention.
Later, at the Track...
Jim: JJ, gambling is bad, wrong, bad. Now let's win 150 thousand dollars.
JJ: I would be better off being raised by wolves. Man, I need someone to talk to. Where's Michael Oher?
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY!
Everyone: Whatever, Blind Side.
Later...
JJ: We've won a ton of money, so let it ride on one horse.
Jim: Okay, genius.
Horse: My leg. My leg.
JJ: Yeah, I saw that coming, too. It's the script -- the script, I tell you!
Jim: True dat.
Recapper: I know. Don't sweat it Actually, Jim I should tell you while I have you here, I was rather impressed with your performance this week. Good on you for giving it your all, even under these circumstances.
Jim: That's my real super-power.
JJ: Um guys, Uncle Mike is about to be dead Uncle Mike.
Jim: Right-o, son. Up, up and away.
At Frank Matthews'...
Jim: Don't kill my brother, kill me, instead.
Frank Matthews: As long as I get to kill someone, but I'm going to shoot you point blank.
Jim: But then that will really kill me, instead of fake killing me.
Mike: Hey, I know -- let's fight!
Jim: Oh yeah, I forgot about fighting. [Beats the heck out of everyone.]
Mike: [Also beats the heck out of everyone, even though he has no super powers.]
Mike: Hug time!
Jim: Up, up and a... wait. That's hardly appropriate here.
At the School...
Chris: Daphne, I'm really mad at you for saving my ass, on account of the fact that I was saving my brother's ass.
Daphne: Here I say something self-righteous, and instead of turning you off, it intrigues you.
Chris: [Is intrigued.]
Elsewhere...
Katie: I'm not taking the promotion. I'd much rather stay here and be used and abused by Stephanie.
Recapper: I'm really phoning it in this week, aren't I?
Katie: A little bit, but how can you continue, week after week?
Recapper: This is why you're still my favorite!
At the Powell Pad...
Jim: Mike, now that we've had Matthews and his minions arrested, I've got something for you. It's a financial reward from the D.A.'s office, or maybe the police. I disremember.
Mike: I can't take it. Oh, who am I shitting. I'll totally take it. I've got a baby on the way. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Bro. I'll be better in the future, because having a baby makes unreliable wastrels into upstanding humans, immediately, right?
Jim: Yes, that's why you never hear about parents doing anything irresponsible, and why no one in prison has ever spawned.
Mike: Coolness!
George: Hey, aren't you forgetting something?
Recapper: I'm not forgetting you aren't in this scene.
George: But you're forgetting I had full, umbrella insurance coverage, and now the lair is more high-tech than ever. The people need to know.
Recapper: And now they do.
At Global Tech...
Joshua: I hate you, Dr. RevCam King. I will never work for you again, and if you ever again try to harm a hair on Katie's head, I will end you.
Dr. King: Pshaw. Whatever, junkie. Hell, you didn't even show up for this scene on time. Besides, we're family.
Joshua: We're no ordinary family.
Recapper: Groan.
Joshua: WHAT? I'm jonesing. It's the best I can do. Now I shall take my leave, because you're right, this scene did happen earlier.
Dr. King: Good, because here comes the crane operator who failed to kill Katie.
Crane Operator: I'm sorry I failed. [Morphs into freaking CHARLOTTE.]
Dr. King: When you looked like that guy, I was ready to kill you.
Charlotte: But now that I'm all hot again, we'll put our head together and figure out a way to deal with Joshua.
Dr King: Yeah, something like that. *Wink*
Okay people, that's it for this week. Please grade the episode up top, and join the discussion down in our show thread, which I like to think of as a lair.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, and see the ineffectual TV superheroes the Powells wish they were.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!