In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Jim's plot, the A-plot, is mindless. Some bad guys knock over a dry-cleaning establishment. They take some cash, but they also take some train conductor uniforms, because in Metropolis, Wells Fargo doesn't drive an armored truck to the bank. It takes the train. The whole thing is but a meaningless contrivance, so that the cops will bust in while Jim and George are taking down the bad guys. Jim hides. George gets caught and gets declared a hero. The boys fall out. Blah blah blah predicatable cakes.
Meanwhile, Daphne and JJ put their super-heads together and finally figure out that Will can't be the guy Katie met online, since JJ is the one who created the "Will" profile. Daphne cautiously approaches Stephanie with her concerns. Stephanie broaches the subject with Katie. They, too, fall out. This is sidekick rebellion week, and it matters not that George and Katie's rebellions are so far out of character -- everyone must service the plot, such that it is.
JJ finds a genius club and meets a pretty girl. When he tries to show off his brainy newbilities though, all the blood rushes from his brain to... points south. Jim counsels him to think about baseball stats. No, I'm not lying. And it works. I'm not lying about that, either. Eventually, JJ gets some smoochies. Um, yay?
Fired Francis confronts Dr. RevCam King in the Global Tech parking garage and he's bearing a vial of the gooey, green secret serum. So RevCam, being evil and all, sets out to convince Stephanie that Francis is a fruitcake, while also dispatching Will to kill him off. Goodbye, Francis. I'm sorry they killed you when you were just getting interesting.
Even though Katie is offended by Stephanie's distrust of Will, she decides to confront her new squeeze. Will deftly covers, by telling her he saw her in the restaurant, thought she was so cute (which she totally is) and when she mistook him for her online date, he played along. He also says he's really Joshua, so now I've got to remember another name. The big point is that he then goes to the Powell Pad and convinces Daphne that he's an innocent good guy, who was just smitten with Katie. However, when they shake hands on his way out, Daphne sees images of him killing Francis. Joshua knows she has found a way into his thoughts. He makes a mini super-villain speech and then wipes her mind -- right back to the pilot. Can I have amnesia, too?
And somewhere in there, Detective Cordero figures out that Jim saved him from the burning van in the last episode. They become temporary BFFs while Jim and George are on the outs. But fear not -- George and Jim make up, as do Katie and Stephanie. What? Did you expect them to divert from formula?
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, grade the episode up top, and then please join the discussion down in our show thread, where some drink to remember, and some drink to forget.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Recapper: All right, who's going to start?
Katie: I will.
Recapper: No, Katie. Let's save you for when I can take it no longer. Besides, I don't want to take advantage of you, unlike other people. Why don't you start, Daphne?
Daphne: Me, really? Okay. Well, Katie and George go out bowling with our family. My dad's breaking the pins apart, because he still can't control his own strength unless the plot calls for it. George is being a poor loser, because JJ cheats by using his super brain to figure out just where and how the ball should hit the pins to get a strike.
Stephanie: Stop that, Daphne. He's not cheating, he's just maximizing his potential.
Recapper: Okay, I agree, but since when do you? When he was using his super smarts for football, weren't you up in arms? I'd check back in the old recaps, if the thought didn't make me want to assume the fetal position and sob.
Daphne: She changed her mind when she decided to use her super speed and kick over the pins.
Recapper: Now that's cheating! I mean, I never understood how JJ using his understanding of angles and trajectories, etc. for physical sport was cheating. I don't even understand how it helps him, since he still has to get his body to work the right way. You could teach me all the mechanics of bowling a strike, or throwing a perfect Hail Mary pass, but that doesn't mean I could do it every darned time.
JJ: Look, even I don't get this stuff. Will you stop obsessing?
Recapper: That's my job, squirt. But still, point taken. Please continue, Daphne.
Daphne: The main point of this scene is that Will shows up, which creeps me out. While he's talking, I try to read his mind again. It's all static-y at first and then it's like a door slams in my head. Then he turns and looks at me -- knowingly. I'm wicked freaking scared.
Recapper: That was chilling, I'll admit. Anything else?
Jim: Well, George brings his police scanner to the bowling alley and when we hear about a robbery in progress at a dry cleaner's, it's up, up and away!
Recapper: This is the other thing I don't get. If you guys hear about crimes from the cops, and the cops are already rushing to the scene, why do you even go?
George: Because this is a super-hero show. I'm not sure you're cut out for this, girl.
Recapper: You and me both. Where are my stunning vampires? There should be vampires.
Stephanie: You want me to go all Darla?
Recapper: Would you start with the show's writing staff?
Darla: Where else? Now close your eyes...
Recapper: I'm going to my happy place.
George: So, I'll take it from here. Jim jumps to the dry cleaner. It's only 2 blocks away, so I drive over and tell him to get out because the cops are on the way.
Recapper: Dammit George, way to drag me back from my happy place. This is exactly what I'm talking about it. You heard about the robbery in progress FROM THE DAMNED POLICE SCANNER. You send Jim off, and then you go find him to tell him the cops are on the way, but the only reason you knew about the crime is because THE COPS ARE ON THE WAY.
George: Chicks can be so touchy.
Recapper: I'm starting to see why you're twice divorced.
George: Nasty.
Recapper: What's the matter -- did I get a little bit of truth on you?
George: Why are you so mad at me?
Recapper: I'm mad at you George, because when the show first started, you were as awesome as Katie and now you're just a big sinkhole in every episode. I can't take this. I'm not even letting you tell the rest of this supposed A-Plot. I'm summing it up.
So, obviously, some bad guys knock over a dry-cleaning establishment. Jim thwarts the robbers from harming the proprietor, by knocking them out cold. George warns him to leave. He does, but George doesn't get out before the cops get there, because he's wiping Jim's prints off a make-shift weapon? The cops bust in and George is afraid he's going to be arrested, but he's instead declared a big, damned hero. He's giving interviews on the news and getting kudos from the cops the day, and gets a big, giant head. The whole thing is but a meaningless contrivance, so that Jim can be jealous and resentful and the boys can have falling out. They do. It's ridiculous. Meanwhile, Cordero figures out that it was Jim who pulled him out of the van wreck last week, and he becomes Jim's substitute best friend. You read me right. That sullen, nasty cop is suddenly the nicest, cheeriest guy in the world. Blergh.
Meanwhile, as Jim digs further into the robbery, he finds that one robber got away, not only with cash, but with some conductor uniforms, as well. And in Metropolis, bank money isn't transported by armored car, but by train. Does that even happen, anywhere? I'm not researching it -- not for this show -- but on its face, it sounds preposterous, particularly since it seems to me like Metropolis is L.A. Am I right, West Coasters? I'm a Boston Brahmin (without the Brahminity) who has never been further west than Chicago, so what do I know? Anyhow, after Jim goes to the wrong train station, (because he can't be a super-hero without his not-so-faithful sidekick), he goes to George and they mend their fences. Jim then goes to the right train station, stops a frigging MOVING TRAIN even though it's been well-established that he can't even stop an automobile without letting it run him over first and then grabbing the under-carriage. Bad guys thwarted. Case closed. Ta freaking dah.
Jim: I can't believe you just did that to my intriguing story.
Recapper: Your story sucked, Jim, and you know it. Take the increasingly loathsome George and go sit in the corner. !
JJ: Um, are you prone to violence?
Recapper: Only verbal, boy. Don't you worry. Go head and tell your embarrassing little tale.
JJ: Okee dokee. So, I find this genius club. I'm trying to make friends because Blind Side seems to have disappeared.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY!
JJ: So, there's this really cute girl there. I try to play chess with her and I'm all set to impress her with my super genius, but when I look at her, I lose my super-smarts, because all the blood rushes to my...
Recapper: STOP RIGHT THERE. I have a son your age. It was bad enough watching this episode with him the first time. I'm not reliving it. Suffice it to say that pretty girls are your kryptonite.
JJ: Old people are so repressed. Human sexuality is a natural...
Recapper: That's it! Go sit in the corner with your old man and George. I'm taking this one, too.
JJ: But...
Recapper: But nothing. I'm not your parents. When I lay down the law, that law is DOWN. Be gone.
Anyhow, so JJ talks to Jim about his little dilemma, and tries to give him TMI, too, but Jim begs for mercy and then tells the boy to think about baseball stats when he's with the girl. So the time JJ goes to Club Mensa, he does. He finally impresses her. She kisses him. She's supposed to be his age, but the actress is 20 and looks it. It's all very squick-worthy and dumb, but ultimately a little sweet. !
Ghost of Francis: Could I have a turn?
Recapper: Sure thing, go ahead, but I think your name just spoiled everyone.
Ghost of Francis: Screw them. I'm dead. You hear me? Dead. I confront evil Dr. King with a vial of his secret serum, and threaten to report him to the authorities, so he goes about setting me up. I try to appeal to Stephanie, but she doesn't trust me at first, because King has already poisoned her mind, so I give her a vial of the secret serum and tell her to test it. She does. She then doses a lab rat with it, and the critter conveniently develops super speed, which is observable, rather than telepathy, or super-intelligence. She calls me -- FROM WORK at the Evil Empire -- further perpetuating the dumb blonde stereotype. I tell her it's not safe to talk on the phone. Then I tell her to come over to my place, while still on the unsafe phone call! Where's the Asians-are-smart stereotype when you need it? I'm so glad I'm going to get killed off this show. Anyhow, King dispatches that Watcher guy to kill me with his brain. He does. He forces me to take a whole bottle of pills and otherwise makes it look like a suicide. I overdose and am dead and gone, even before Speedy Steph can get to my place. She calls 911, and she must call King, too (which is weird, since she must suspect him, by now). He comes over to comfort her, at my place. It's just bad and dumb. He feeds her a line about my research being unethical, and asks her to continue with him, in an ethical fashion. I'm so disappointed in her I could cry, if I still had physical tear ducts.
Recapper: Rest in peace, Francis. !
Katie: My turn. My turn. Okay unbeknownst to me, Daphne is suspicious of Will, so she asks me how we met. I tell her through friends, but I think: "On Radidate.com" and of course she hears that. And while I don't know it, she knows that JJ created the "Will" profile on Radidate. She goes to Stephanie, who confronts me with the fact that Will isn't who I think he is. I get all offended, thinking she just wants me all to herself to do her bidding, which makes no sense, given what she tells me. I then quit being her sidekick. Do you not see the parallel between George's story and mine?
Recapper: I do, Katie, especially where the stupidity is concerned, but I want to keep loving you, so I'm trying to ignore it.
Katie: Oh, that's really considerate, thank you. Anyhow, I tell Will about my fight with Steph, and he confesses he's not Will. He just saw me waiting eagerly for my no-show date and was so captivated by me that he had to come over. He's sorry he took advantage by not telling me his real name.
Recapper: And that's not enough to send you running in the other direction? I mean, it's not like you've only been on one date. That's a super-creepy thing to do, Katie.
Katie: Look, smug married lady, I've had a hellishly long dry-spell. I might not be thinking clearly. Anyhow, my boyfriend's name is now Joshua.
Recapper: No it's not. He read that off a waiter's name tag.
Katie: La la la, can't hear you.
The Watcher: Hey, why does my dialogue tag read The Watcher? My name is Joshua, now.
Recapper: No it isn't. I saw what you did. You're back to being the Watcher, for now. But please, continue.
The Watcher: Unfair. I'm starting to know how Michael Oher feels.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY!
The Watcher: Whatever, Blind Side. Anyhow, when I'm not killing unemployed scientists, I decide to terrorize little girls. That's right. I go to the Powell Pad when Daphne is oh-so-conveniently the only one home, and I tell her what I told Katie. She seems to buy my schtick, so I start to leave and make the mistake of shaking her hand. When I do, she gets past my defenses and sees visions of me killing Francis. Once I'm out the door, she grabs the phone to call for help, but I come back in, grab the phone out of her hand with the power of my mind and throw it. I move some furniture around too -- with my mind, and otherwise scare the bejeezus out of her. I want to know where she and her family got their powers, because they don't seem dependent on King and his secret serum to keep them. She cries, because she doesn't know. She promises to keep silent about me, but in the end, I wipe her mind of everything that happened in the last three months.
Recapper: I'm so jealous.
Daphne: Right?! When my parents get home from breaking up and making up with their BFFs, I come out to talk to them. I think I'm still dating Lucas, and whine that I don't want to go on our family trip to Brazil. Is that totally freaky, or what?
Recapper: It is. Your story was the best one by far, this week, kiddo. Your parents stories were each F-worthy. JJ's was probably a D. You're the only reason that this episode gets a gentlewoman's C. Well done.
Jim, George and JJ: Can we leave the corner now?
Recapper: NO!
Katie: Aren't you going to tell them that Steph and I make up -- just like George and Jim.
Recapper: No, because you just did. I'm putting this beast in the ground. Goodnight, everyone. Happy Holidays!
week, there's a rerun of "No Ordinary Quake." Enjoy the hiatus. I know I will. In the meantime, grade the episode up top, and then please join the discussion down in our show thread, and help us figure out why we're still even watching.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, and see the ineffectual TV superheroes the Powells wish they were.
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