In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
You want the good news or the bad news, first? Okay. Good news it is. Amanda (Amy Acker) is back, and George smooches her on the nose. She then disappears, but manages to do so without getting her other booby blasted off, so let's call that a win. I'm wondering about her being up and about so quickly. If this show had been panning out differently, I'd suspect she was a Super of some sort, but it's hard to believe anyone's thought that far ahead. In other good news, Daphne continues to pursue her burgeoning romance with Brett, by pretending she's fluent in Japanese. After a sushi date, during which she orders them live prawns, she 'fesses up that she's a faker. Brett has second thoughts, but might possibly admire her honesty about her dishonesty. It's not how I would have had it play out, but it works well enough. Elsewhere, the Watcher continues to court Katie, in order to get closer to the Powell family, but I like to think he's a little bit smitten with her, too. I know I am. Also, RevCam King shoots the Watcher up with some of his secret serum and gives him some more marching orders. Dun dun dun!
The bad news is the A-plot. JJ's friend Michael Oher does well on his math test, so Professor Dick assumes he cheated and that JJ is involved. So, brain-trust that JJ is, he hacks into the teacher's computer and changes his friend's grade and gets caught red-handed, because even sheer genius can't purge all the stupid from teenaged boys. Jim goes down to the school to argue JJ's case with Professor Dick, but gets nowhere. As Professor Dick drives out of the parking lot, he's blind sided by the...
...B-plot, which is also bad news. There are carjackers lose in town. Regular police have no experience with this highly unusual crime, so it's a good thing there are super-heroes on the case. Yawn.
Back to the A-plot, Jim's super-strength has been waxing and waning. In the end, we learn this is because he's having an allergic reaction to Stephanie's new lip gloss. I know! Try to contain your excitement. So anyhow, when Professor Dick gets creamed in the car crash, Jim can't even free him. When the Professor is rushed to the hospital, the surgeon finds Dick's aorta has been pierced by the huge, honking bar sticking out of his chest. If they remove it, he'll die. Well, he would, if he were harassing any ordinary student. But he's harassing JJ, who knows just the person to operate on his tormentor: dear old Mom. That's right, even though Stephanie hasn't touched a scalpel since medical school, she and JJ (!!!) sneak Professor Dick down to an unused O.R. Using her super-speed and his super-smarts, they successfully save the mean teacher for another day. My eyes rolled so hard during this whole plot, I think I sprained them. If I can't read my pie recipes today, you'll know who to blame.
I'll be back A.S.A.P. with the full weecap. I'm not sure how the holiday will affect publication, so just in case, Happy Thanksgiving! In the meantime, grade the episode up top, and then please join the discussion of this turkey, down in our show thread.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, and see the ineffectual TV superheroes the Powells wish they were.
Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!At the Powell Pad...
Stephanie: Jim, I've farmed the kids out for the night, and now I'm trying way harder to seduce you than I have to.
Jim: Is it my birthday?
Stephanie: Why don't you show me your birthday suit and find out for yourself.
Jim: Up, up, and away!
At George's...
George: You're up and at 'em pretty quick for someone who had bullet pierce her lung and blow off a booby!
Amanda: If you don't kiss me somewhere a little more interesting than the tip of my nose, I'm going back to Supernatural. Hey, what's all that squawking? Do we have an audience?
George: Don't be ridiculous. NO ONE IS WATCHING. That noise is coming from the radio in my secret lair that I can't tell you about, which is too bad, because it's totally going to torpedo our night, and Jim and Stephanie's, too.
Amanda: Dean, if you're reading this, call me!
Recapper: Mmm. Dean.
Powell Pad...
Jim: Honey, I can't make love to you after all, because there are carjackers afoot. Or a-wheel, as the case may be.
Your Recapper's Spouse: Shenanigans! No man would leave right then for a CARJACKING. Kidnapped baby? Sure. But a carjacking?!
Recapper: I know, right?
Stephanie: Tell me about it, guys. Seriously, Jim? What exactly do the real cops in this town do again?
Jim: Up, up, and away!
Mean Streets of Metropolis...
The carjacker is speeding right at Jim in the jacked car. Thinking quickly, Jim picks up a dumpster to block the road. BUT THEN, his strength failing him, Jim goes all limp.
Stephanie: I'm glad that didn't happen in bed. I'm already getting a bit of a complex.
The Morning at the Powell Pad
Jim: ...And then I don't know. I lost my strength.
George: Performance anxiety?
Stephanie: He was probably anticipating some Georgeous-Interruptus. But I'm not bitter. Jim, I need to draw some of your blood, and I just happen to have a sterile syringe right here, even though I spend my days studying the wonder-plant.
The needle breaks on Jim's iron arms.
Jim: Who you calling limp now, Recapper?
Stephanie: Figures George is still here. Okay, this isn't my preferred method of obtaining a sample, but I'll swab your cheek for some DNA.
George: Can I watch?
At Global Tech:
Katie: You know, Recapper, this storyline really cheeses you off, and it's Thanksgiving, so I'm in a giving mood. Do you want me to just summarize the whole damned thing now, in my really hyper, fast-talking Gilmore-esque style of speech?
Recapper: There's a reason you're my favorite.
Katie: Okay, well. At first Steph and I think Jim has been infected with a virus, but later, I discover he's actually allergic to an ingredient in Stephanie's new lip gloss, and since his DNA is all mutated now, his immune system responses are all wonky. So where you or I might get hives, Jim gets all...flaccid.
Jim: Could you gals please find better descriptions? Say what you want about them, but the writers have already carefully established just how fragile my male ego is.
Recapper: Jim, you can't know about this stuff 'til later. Shoo!
Jim: Up, up, and away!
Katie: So, as I was saying. Once I make the allergy connection, I take a bit of the compound in the lipgloss and drip it on the wonder-plant and the wonder-plant goes all flaccid, too. And then it kind of shrivels up and turns black with rot. Eww. Gross. Steph, did Jim's um...you know...?
Stephanie: I don't even know, because George is always cock-blocking.
Katie: Perhaps that's blessing in disguise. Anyhow, Jim and the plant share the same DNA, right? So the compound affects them both.
Stephanie: All right, now I'm hot and blonde, so I don't really get all this science stuff, even though I'm your boss. But riddle me this -- why isn't the lipgloss compound robbing me of my speed? I mean, the plant and I now share the same DNA too, and I'm rubbing that stuff all over my own, personal lips, several times a day.
Katie: Well, I guess you're not allergic to it.
Steph: But if the wonder-plant is, shouldn't I be, too? And can plants even get allergies?
Steph, you know I don't make up this stuff, I just spew it, with style. Let's ask the writers, shall we? Oh, Writers...
Writers: [crickets]
Katie: See? Even they don't know. Anyhow, you want me to summarize my story, too? There's flirting and hand holding and fun stuff with an intriguing guy.
Recapper: I'm going to wait on that. I've got to get to JJ's story now, and it's even worse than this allergy thing. But will you stay on call in case I start losing my will to live.
Katie: Of course I will. I'm indispensable.
At the High School...
JJ: So, Michael Oher and I are in math class, right? Professor Dick hands back our tests. I've got a B+, but Blind Side gets a giant F.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY!
JJ: Dude, let me do the talking. I haven't steered you wrong yet, have I?
Michael Oher: Oh, no, not at all. So far, your help has gotten me accused of cheating and now Dick is going to get me kicked off the football team. In JJ I trust.
JJ: Anyhow, I know Michael Oher's grade is hinky, on account of the fact that I've been tutoring him. I look over his answers, and find that he got a lot right, too, so I take it up to Professor Dick, right, and I'm all WUWT? And Dick is all, "CHEATERS BE GONE FROM ME!" And I'm all, "But we didn't cheat." And Dick is all, "You must have, because I can't teach for shizzy." And I'm all, "NO FAIRSIES!" And Dick is all, "Neener neener neener." So, genius that I am, I decide to take the law into my own hands, because those are the values being instilled in me at home, right? So I hack into the school's grading system, on Professor Dick's computer, at Professor Dick's desk, and change Michael Oher's grade to a B. So of course I get caught.
Recapper: Have you been wearing your mother's lip gloss?
JJ: No, that's the weird thing.
Recapper: Uh...yeah.
JJ: Anyhow, Dick has a conniption, and calls my parents. They're wicked pissed at me for taking the law into my own hands, even though those are the values being instilled at home, so I point that out, and they totally cave. SCORE! My dad even goes to the school, to have a talk with Dick, but Dick, being all dickish, just dicks us around and then gets into his car and takes off. As he's driving out of the parking lot, the fricking carjacker smashes right into him, and some pipe thing pierces Dick's aorta. My dad tries to rip the door off Dick's car to free him, but he goes all limp again.
Jim: Et tu, JJ?
Recapper: I told you to shoo!
JJ: Should I get to the really dumb part yet?
Recapper: Oh, right. That's not even the dumbest part. Um, no. I need a little break. Let's see. I don't want to waste Katie, yet. Let's check in with Daphne.
Daphne: FINALLY! Okay, so I'm still flirting with Brett, right? And he's like wicked cute and I'm like wicked crushing on him, so I read his mind, find out he likes all things Japanese, so I tell him I'm fluent in actual JAPANESE.
Recapper: So you've been wearing your mother's lip gloss?
Daphne: Nope. I was never smart to begin with, because I'm a girl, so my "smarts" are all written off as "intuition."
Recapper: Ah yes. Continue.
Daphne: Well, I can't get JJ to help me on this date, so when Brett and I go out for sushi, I decide to read the chef's mind. When I say I want to order something adventurous, I hear the chef think of a few different options by their Japanese names, so I order them. When he delivers the first one, he calls them, "Dancing Prawns," which means they're totally alive and kicking shrimp! Brett is impressed, if disgusted. The day, I read his mind and learn he totally wants to break up with Beeyotch. For me. I'd like nothing more than to go out with him, but not like this, so I cop to lying about my expertise in art last week and Japanese this week. Brett is pissed, but I can't blame him. I tell him I need to figure out who I am, and the way he looks at me, I think he's a little impressed that I was so honest about my dishonesty.
Recapper: That's it?
Daphne: Yep. Sorry. You've got to do the rest of the JJ story now. I am so glad I'm not involved.
JJ: All right, let's make this quick, because it pains even me to relive it. Professor Dick's aorta has been pierced by this pipe, and the doctors are just leaving it in him, because if they take it out, he will die. But if they leave it in, he will die, too. I mean what? So, I realize that my mother is the only person alive fast enough to operate on him. So what if she hasn't done surgery since med school, and so what if she's actually a biologist, not a doctor, in the first place? I figured out what was wrong with Grandpa's car. I can surely direct her through stealth cardio-thoracic surgery, right?
Recapper: I can't even look at you, never mind acknowledge you, kid. Just pretend I'm not here.
JJ: So I hack into the hospital's computer system, find an available operating room, and talk my parents into this crazy scheme. Dad stands guard while Mom and I remove the pipe from Professor Dick.
Recapper: Who's going to remove the pipe from the writers' mouths?
JJ: Hey, I'm not finished. So even though we're successful with the pipectomy, Professor Dick still crashes, because we cannot divert from formula. Mom realizes there must be another tear. She finds it, stitches it up, and he's all better. And of course there's a little conflict out in the hall, too, when a real surgeon wants to get in the O.R., but dad handles it okay. Do you want the deets?
Recapper: Heavens, no. KATIE WHERE ARE YOU?
Katie: Reporting for duty, Madame. Okay, so here's some fun stuff that will hopefully restore your will to live, because you make up a good 25% of our audience. Now, should I let Will tell his part of our story, or do you want me to do the whole thing?
Recapper: You do it. He's very interesting, but he creeps me right the heck out. I need bubbly right now, and girl, you are this show's champagne.
Katie: Okay, all of this is so top secret that even I don't know it, but here you go. Dr. RevCam King wants Will to get closer to Stephanie, so he can watch her, you know, 'cause he's The Watcher and all. That always makes me think of Giles. Does it make you think of Giles? He's a lot older than me, but I'd totally date Giles.
Recapper: Mmmm. Giles.
Katie: Anyhoodle, so Will and I go out on a date. He asks me all about Stephanie, but since she's my girl crush, I don't even mind. And then he tells me about losing his parents when he was little and how this man took him under his wing. If I knew any of this was going on, which I so don't, I would bet wing-man is Dr. King. But I digress. I think Will might be falling for me, despite himself. Later, when he walks me to my car, he kisses me. That's when I actually figure out that it might be something in Stephanie's lip gloss that's affecting Jim. I hope you don't mind that I told that a little out of order. I wanted to save the kiss story 'til you really needed it.
Recapper: Thank you, Obi-Wan. (You're my only hope.)
Jim: Ahem.
Recapper: Oh, right. Go ahead.
Jim: Well, we all know I have this hero complex, so before Katie and Stephanie figure out that the lip gloss is my kryptonite, I go out and investigate the carjackings, even though I might no longer be invulnerable. I find a secret chop-shop, but unfortunately, the carjacker and his minion find me finding them. It's so dramatic. The carjacker shoots me! Aren't you scared? What if I still don't have my powers? I could be dead!
Recapper: No. That would divert from formula. Besides, there's that whole scene in the lab where the wonder-plant comes back to life, so really, there's no suspense at all.
Jim: Touche. Anyhow, I haven't macked on the wife in a while, so the bullets bounce right off me. The carjacker shits a brick and I take him down.
Recapper: ZZZzzzzzzz.
Jim: Hey, wake up!
Recapper: Sorry, are you done?
Jim: Yup, that's pretty much it.
Recapper: Fine. Do your thing.
Jim: Up, up, and away!
The Day, At the Hospital...
JJ: Heya, Professor Dick. How's it hanging?
Dick: JJ, my favorite student, how thoughtful of you to visit me. Of course we've always shared such a strong bond!
Recapper: Did Stephanie operate on his brain, too?
JJ: Um, yeah, right. Good. Um. So, I was wondering, what exactly do you remember from before the crash.
Dick: Hey kid, I just had a pipe piercing my aorta, and some surgeon operated on me in secret. I remember nothing that will complicate your life or Michael Oher's.
Michael Oher: MY NAME IS KENNY!
Everyone: Whatever, Blind Side.
JJ: Well, that's cool.
Recapper: Kid. You're done. Nobody cares about this. Shoo. KATIE, I NEED YOU AGAIN!
Katie: Here I am. Oh and look, Will is bringing me flowers -- at work -- because he wants to make sure I know he digs me. Who wouldn't dig me? I am intensely diggable. While we're chatting, Stephanie walks by, so I introduce them, and my storyline is the only reason you didn't give this episode an F, right?
Recapper: Absolutely. Were this The Katie Show, you'd be making honor role.
Katie: Whew! I gotta run, though, so I'm going to let my new boyfriend tell you the rest. Toodles.
Will -- The Watcher: So yeah, I am kind of crushing on Katie, it's true. But that's not important, right now. What's important, is my alone time with Dr. RevCam King. When I report back to him on my success, he gives me a cookie for my efforts, and by "cookie" I mean he shoots me up with his secret serum. You can see my expression change -- harden. I'm either stronger, or totally strung out. It's hard to tell.
Recapper: Yeah, 'cause you do have a touch of junkie about you, all the time.
Will: I know, right? Anyhow, RevCam knows it's only a matter of time before we discover Stephanie's secret. And I know this secret serum is some good shit.
Recapper: Can we rest now, Buffy? Can we rest?
Buffy: Absolutely. It's time for our annual sham with yams.
Anya: It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie.
Spike: You made a bear. Undo it! Undo it!
Recapper: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
I'll see you time. Whenever that is. With Katie gone, I don't have to heart to look it up, right now. In the meantime, grade the episode up top, and then please join the discussion of this turkey, down in our show thread. We have pie.