While the ordinary Stafford family is invaded by masked marauders, the Powells are invaded by Stephanie's parents, Barbara and Allan Crane (Cybill Shepherd and Bruce McGill) who drive no ordinary Mustang (and make me covet it). Jim and the kids want to come clean with Stephanie's folks about their newbilities, but Stephanie is dead set against it. "My parents; my rules. It's just for a few days." Jim reluctantly agrees. This ought to go well, so of course it doesn't. Within minutes, the writers forget that Stephanie is the one against full disclosure and have her treating Jim and the kids as if lying is their choice. This sort of sloppiness makes it hard to stay engaged. Suffice it to say, ADA George lures Jim out of normality to investigate the home invasions, which of course Allan takes as evidence that Jim is cheating on Stephanie.
At school, Daphne connects with Trent Stafford (Jackson Rathbone), a victim of the invasion, and realizes he knows more than he's telling. She not only hears his thoughts, but gets flashes of the crime when she touches him. Millions of Twihard fangirls get flashes when they touch him, too, but there's no crime involved (if we discount statutory ones). Defying her parents' wishes, Daphne spends more time with the Trent to get a clearer picture of the incident. She goes to Jim with what she saw. Jim takes it to Detective Cordero on the down-low, so of course Cordero puts Jim's perp sketch on the nightly news, making Trent a repeat-o target of his assailants.
Meanwhile, JJ uses his magic-math to beat his grandpa at pool. He does this with Jim's blessing, because grandpa never gave Jim his blessing to marry Stephanie. And Grandma? She couldn't be more disapproving of Stephanie being a working wife and mother, were Grandma the pope and Steph Martin Luther. It's too pat. It's too obvious. And with a cast like this? It's too disappointing -- the writing, that is. The cast remains delightful, but they're playing in a shallow puddle of treacle. At any rate, when the grandparents come down on the whole family, Stephanie defends them, noting that JJ is smart and Daphne is intuitive. It's about then that I lose my lunch and any engagement I'd been able to force until now. If you please, Mr. TiVo, bring me back to Mystic Falls, where the women have actual agency.
Jim saves Jasper-Trent. Stephanie takes a run to clear her head from her parental torment. I drink copious amounts of wine, talk to my Canadian cousin about hockey, and pretend there's going to be a seventh season of Lost. Eventually, Steph decides it's time to stop running. That translates into smooches between her and Jim -- with Dad eaves-dropping on their whole conversation. Of course dad doesn't pick up the whole truth and when the Powells try to confess said whole truth, the Cranes can't hear them. They leave their Mustang with JJ, because he has a penis -- I mean -- because he won it off of grandpa during a game of pool. Steph turns it over to Daphne, but only because JJ can't yet drive. In two years, it will be his, on account of his penis. The whole family goes out for a ride. The car breaks down. Steph uses her super-speed to retrieve a torque wrench. Jim lifts the car so JJ can inspect its undercarriage. Daphne stands there and looks pretty, because that's what intuitive girls do. Bah.
I'll be back tomorrow with the full weecap. In the meantime, join the discussion in our show thread, where your intuition is recognized as a component of intelligence.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, and see the ineffectual TV superheroes the Powells wish they were.
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