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The Powells are in the TV equivalent of Walmart during an earthquake. But it turns out not to be an earthquake after all, at least not the natural kind. It's being caused by Rebecca -- erstwhile super-something who gives a whole new meaning to "jazz hands." She's holding up big stores with pharmacies, in hopes of finding an anti-epileptic to control her evil hands.
Elsewhere, Stephanie FINALLY catches on to the fact that JJ has newbilities and is just fronting as a mundane. And Daphne, well -- when she sees classmate Olivia out with teacher Mr. Robbins, she immediately assumes the two are sleeping together, so any evidence she manages to glean from their minds only confirms her presuppositions; eventually, Daph drops a dime. It's like midterm politics, but less draining. It doesn't take long before she screws up Olivia and Mr. Robbins' lives, because baby, that's what super-powers are all about. JJ ends up confessing his newbilities to his parents, who immediately declare it's cheating for him to play on the football team. Believe you me -- I will hit that like a 300 pound tackle in the recap.
Jim finally gets to confront Earthquaker Rebecca at Steph's Global Tech wonder-plant presentation. He tries to get Rebecca (who figures out he's a super) to trust him, but then Dr. RevCam King's minion (The Watcher) screws it up.
The episode ends with the Powells at JJ's football game. They're there to cheer him on, but only if the 5-foot-nothing, 100-pound weakling totally eschews his understanding of trajectory (etc.) whilst playing. The other team tackles the heck out of him and JJ succumbs to his physical limitations, which I guess is supposed to be a happy ending. This show! I keep watching it and waiting, but I'm starting to feel like it's all carrot and no stick. I'm glad JJ's secret is finally out, but take issue with the Powells' conclusion that using his brain is the same as cheating at football.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The Powells are in the TV equivalent of Walmart, which is apt, because this show which showed so much promise is turning into the Walmart equivalent of a series. While Daphne helps Stephanie choose her umpteenth pair of running shoes, and Jim fits JJ for football cleats, an earthquake strikes. Once the dust settles, the Powells realize a clerk is stuck beneath a pile of rubble. Jim moves to pull it off her, but JJ does some insta-engineering and realizes dear old Dad will just make things worse if he doesn't attack the problem in the right way. After some magical math, he figures out which piece Jim should pull out first, and voila, the pile falls down and away from the poor, trapped clerk. Everyone is happy, except for Stephanie who FINALLY realizes JJ is probably hiding some newbilities of his own. Back home, Stephanie discusses her concerns with Jim, but he trusts the boy. The morning though, Steph tells JJ he has to pee in a cup -- allegedly to serve as her control for the tests she's running on the super-powered members of the family. JJ is now too smart to fall for that, so he essentially pleads shy bladder and runs off to school, promising to drop off his sample at Global Tech, later.
D.A.'s Office: George works a You Keep Me Informed; I Keep You Caffeinated play on a pretty redhead at work, but not just because she's a pretty redhead. She's his source on the inside. The person who knows what's what. No, since he's an A.D.A., I don't get the point of this, either. At any rate, he learns from Ginger that the earthquake wasn't actually an earthquake at all.
Global Tech: Dr. RevCam King is chatting up Steph about a reception honoring her work, when The Watcher calls him to talk about a "sector 7 breach" whatever that means. King is freaked, noting they're dealing with a deadly weapon that needs to be contained. Meanwhile, Katie is working on Dr. Volson's research, in hopes that she'll find insight into the Powells' newbilities. Volson's files are still encrypted, so Katie's trying to break the code. Stephanie then tells Katie her suspicions about JJ.
Daphne and Megan head across town to apply for a job at a cafe, and run into their friend Olivia, who is with Detective Leo from Veronica Mars. Only here, Detective Leo is pretending to be their English teacher, Mr. Robbins. You can't fool me and Veronica, Leo! You always liked the high school girls. Daphne reads his mind as Leo thinks that he's screwed for meeting with Olivia in public. Once the girls are alone, Megan tells Daphne that she's sure Mr. Robbins and Olivia are totally doing it. Daphne tries to remain in denial.
George tells Jim the earthquake wasn't real; it was caused by a concussion grenade. Don't ask me to explain that. The important part is that during the quake, thousands of dollars worth of meds were stolen from the Not-Mart pharmacy. Soon thereafter, Detective Cordero bursts through the precinct telling the troops another pharmacy has been hit. Title card.
School: JJ tells Michael Oher that his parents think he's doping, and he's afraid his asthma medication will produce a false positive when they have his urine analyzed, so Oher gets him some pee. Meanwhile, in the girls' locker room, Megan sets up Olivia, in order to get the dirt on her and Professor Perv. Daphne is there, of course, so she hears Olivia think "You so don't get it." As Megan pries more, Olivia tells them that if they think something is going on between her and Mr. Robbins, they could not be any more wrong.
Precinct: Detective Cordero tells Jim the concussion grenade took out the pharmacist, but they've got the incident on tape. Later with George, Jim says he has to get hold of that tape. George thinks Jim could break into the evidence locker, and suggests Steph could help. Jim disagrees at the time, but eventually goes to Steph for her help. Steph's first response is: "Absolutely not. Just because you've decided to clean up the city doesn't make crime fighting the family business." George scares Steph by noting Jim's powers were caught on tape, so if they don't get that tape, Jim could end up at some government research facility. Steph is peeved, but agrees to help this one time. After that, the boys are on their own. Once she's gone, Jim glares at George, who says, "Just because you won't lie to your wife doesn't mean I can't. What's she going to do -- make me sleep on the couch? We've got it."
Global Tech; JJ brings his pee to Katie. When she takes it to the lab, he screws with her computer, and magi-mathically decrypts the files, making sense of Volson's analysis.
Precinct: Jim goes to the evidence locker and forces open the door while pretending to get a drink, and chatting up the officer on duty. Stephanie then sneaks in for him. Once the deed is done, Jim catches up with Steph who hands over the evidence, but tells him that from now on, he's on his own. And either she's repeating herself, or I am. I am so bored it's hard to tell.
Lair: George and Jim watch the tape and see a perp heading to the pharmacy. They've found their guy -- it's a girl, which they treat as SHOCKING. Blergh. She's not setting off concussion grenades. She's using magic hands to get the job done. Oh wait, I don't think we learn that until later. To hell with it. Why should I take more care with this than the writers do with these plots?
Powell Pad: Jim rounds the kids up for school, but Daph lingers behind to talk to Mom. She wants to know what to do if Olivia is sleeping with Mr. Robbins. Steph says, "We didn't ask for these powers, but we've got them. We have to do what's right. [...] It's a very serious allegation. Be absolutely certain." Oh Steph, what teen isn't certain, even when wrong?
Precinct: George and Jim learn that the perp, Rebecca Jessup, has a record -- for writing bad checks. And the drugs she's been stealing aren't drugs that get you high; they're anti-epileptics.
Global Tech: Katie calls JJ out for solving the algorithm. Since he cracked an encrypted file in seconds, she knows he has newbilities. "You're a genius too, aren't you?" Yes he is, genius. She just doesn't understand why he'd lie to his folks. Before they can get too far into it, Steph returns, greets JJ (who lies that Katie is tutoring him in math). Steph thanks Katie for cracking the code and praises her to the high heaven. Once she's alone with JJ again, Katie tells him she will cover for him for now, but he'll have to 'fess up soon. She also has some news for him. His test results are normal, except for one thing. "JJ, you're pregnant." I'd laugh, but as soon as Michael Oher gave JJ a nameless, faceless friend's pee, rather than his own, this was inevitable.
School: Daphne goes to see Detective Leo Mr. Robbins and asks why he and Olivia were meeting alone, together. Leo swears he'd never get involved with a student. Daphne believes him until she hears him think, "I thought all this lying would end when I stopped sleeping with her." Leo then tells Daphne, "You have my word." Daphne, visibly shaken, tells him she'll see him class.
Powell Pad: Steph tells Jim that per the labs, JJ is normal. Jim is relieved but Steph doesn't buy it. He's not the same boy he was, before their trip. She doesn't want to be right, but she's pretty sure she is. Their argument is interrupted when George calls. There's a robbery in progress. Jim says they should let the cops deal. But George explains it's another pharmacy and no one else can do it; it's another grenade in progress. "You can get to her before cops can." Jim up up and aways and crashes down with his usual lack of grace, stalks the perp, and then stops her. She warns him off, but he promises not to hurt her. She's a super too, and when Jim gets too close, she gives him the mother of all hand jobs. The earth moves. For real. Jim resists her mojo for a long time, but finally, Rebecca uses her power to throw him across the park and into a building. Commercial.
Lair: George tends to Jim's wounds as they rehash Re
becca's power -- shock waves. They try to figure out why she's after the epileptic meds. Jim figures it's an attempt at controlling her power. George advises Jim to let Steph check him out and make sure he doesn't have a concussion, but Jim refuses. He hasn't told Steph there are other supers out there.
School. JJ catches up with Michael Oher, who insists his name is Kenny, and tells him that while the pee he gave him is 100% pure, it's also 100% girl pee and 100% pregnant girl pee. Kenny freaks. That pregnant girl is his girl. He pisses and moans that his life is over, while JJ spouts off condom efficacy stats.
Meanwhile, Daphne goes to the principal's office and leaves him a note about Olivia and Mr. Robbins. Megan finds her, but Daphne covers about her reason for being there.
Global Tech: Katie and Steph find blue prints on Volson's computer files. They try to figure out what's up with that. Steph wants some more research, but Katie can't decrypt the files, so she admits up that she had help...from JJ.
Powell Pad: When Jim gets home, Steph starts ranting about family lies. He thinks she means the lies he's been spreading around like fertilizer, but she means JJ. When they confront JJ, he tries to act like hiding his powers from them is no big deal, but Jim is upset that he was stupid enough to believe his boy who's been crying crocodile tears for weeks. JJ whines AGAIN that this is the first time they've ever been proud of him. While Jim objects, saying that's not true, Steph focuses on the fact that their son was lying and wants to know why Jim isn't more upset. She then tells JJ that using his powers in football is cheating, so he's off the team. JJ is all No way, Jose. "Everyone else uses their powers. I am too. You wonder why I didn't want you to know."
Global Tech Reception for Steph: This looks to be a fun night as it opens with Powell parental bitching about JJ's powers, secrecy and what it says about them as parents. Let's leave them for someone more interesting, shall we?
Dr. RevCam King's Office: over the phone, the Watcher tells RevCam that "she's" off the grid and there's no way to track "her" until "she" uses her powers again. But just then, the office starts to shake, rattle and roll. RevCam says, "Actually, I think I found her." He looks up at his office door and greets his guest with a whispered, "Rebecca." Commercial.
Global Tech; RevCam's Office: RevCam: "Thank God you're okay. I was worried." Rebecca tells him he should be. When he asks why she's been robbing those pharmacies and killing innocent people in the process, Rebecca tells RevCam that she wants her life back again, and nothing works, including locking her up. She admits, "Maybe this is who I am now, but at least I can stop you from doing this to anyone else." She then tries to give RevCam the super-powered hand job, but some guards sneak up from behind, shoot her (I assume with tranq darts) and stop her. RevCam orders them to transport her back to "the dorms." No, Show. You are not going to suck me in again with mentions of cool things that don't come to pass, or don't pan out to be anything other than ordinary.
Science Shindig: Steph gives her wonder-plant presentation at a hoity-toity dinner, while the guards drag the drugged Rebecca away and throw her in a vehicle. When Rebecca wakens she incites a new earthquake, which rocks the folks at the shindig. It ends quickly enough, so we flash to the garage where a guard confronts Rebecca. The quake starts up again, so Jim takes off from the shindig, hunts down and confronts Rebecca, and asks to talk to her. She's all, "How are you still standing? You should be in a morgue after what I did to you." When Jim tells her they're more alike than she thinks, she decides to test that theory and lays her magic hand job on him, right in the parking lot. When Jim resists, Rebecca stops and says, "You're one of us, aren't you? They got you, too?" Jim wants to know what she means. "Who, who got us? Trust me. I'll help you find answers." She can't trust him. She assumes "they" sent Jim, because he has powers and that's the only way "they" can catch her. She jazz-hands Jim again and drives him to the floor, but she's stopped by the Watcher who seems to flip her powers back on her and throws her against the wall. The Watcher then looks down at an unconscious Jim and we cut to...
Powell Pad: Olivia comes to see Daphne. The principal talked to Mr. Robbins today, about an inappropriate relationship he was having with a student. Daphne: "He was taking advantage of you, Olivia." Olivia: "By dating my mom? They broke up." He only took Olivia out for coffee to say goodbye to her. Olivia makes sure Daphne realizes how much trouble she's caused: an innocent man has been humiliated and everyone thinks Olivia is having sex with her teacher. Daphne: "D'oh. Double sorry?"
Garage: Steph finds Jim dazed and confused. She wakes him and asks, "Who did this to you" Jim doesn't answer the question. Instead, he says, "There's something you need to know. JJ's not the only who who's been lying. I'm sorry." Commercial.
Powell Pad: At home Steph tends to Jim and then chides him for not telling her about the other supers. He didn't want to worry her, which pisses her off. Jim can't help but wonder why Rebecca came to Global Tech. Stephanie says, "No. It's not Global Tech; It's Volson. I've been tracking this scientist [...] who was experimenting with chromosome mutations a lot like ours." Jim accuses Steph of keeping secrets too, but Steph waves that away and explains that Volson is dead and his research has been mothballed. She then gives him a lesson: the only thing they can control is how they deal with their powers. Jim, trying to please mommy, adds, "And how we teach our children to." Steph: "Exactly." Me: "Good boy, Jim. Now fetch Mommy's slippers."
School: Daphne confesses to Mr. Robbins that she wrote the note, and apologizes. Mr. Robbins tells her not to be sorry for looking out for her friend. He can no longer be there for Olivia if he wants to keep his job, but tells Daphne she can be. Um, I pretty sure Olivia won't want her. He makes sure Daph understands that he'll live under the shadow of her allegations for a long time. Daphne feels like shit. Her power sucks.
Locker Room: JJ is afraid Jim is there to stop him from playing, but Jim's just there to apologize. For what? Being lied to? Ugh. JJ pleads for his father's understanding. He's finally living the life of someone he's always wanted to be. Jim tries to drive home the point that JJ is special aside from his newbilities. And he thinks using those newbilities on the field amounts to cheating himself. "You think you need them to become this person you want to be, but I think you can do it on your own. I just wish you could believe it, too."
Game: Daph informs Steph about the Olivia/Mr. Robbins non-affair. Steph says it's not that simple to recognize the right thing to do. Right then, the coach puts JJ in the game. The family cheers him on even though they think he's a ginormous cheater. JJ calls his plays and gets the A Beautiful Mind special effects, but looks up to his dad in the stands and decides to ignore his magical math. He runs behind Kenny for quite some time, but eventually is pummeled by the other team. His parents are thrilled. I'm disgusted.
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After the game, Jim walks arm in arm with JJ, and praises his performance. JJ gives Dad a reality check and then asks, "What's the return policy on the cleats?" Jim suggests if they have the receipt, they can trade them in for baseball cleats, instead. And... that's it.
I'm sorry, I think the football plot was weak. Last week, I tried to give it some credit, but considering how it's turned out, I'd like to revoke that. Look, if JJ had a major growth spurt over the past year, it wouldn't be cheating to play football. Now that he is suddenly able to master the cerebral aspect of the game, why is that cheating? If JJ had joined the Mathletes or something, I might understand the Powells' protests, but there's way much more involved in football than knowing for certain the angle at which you must throw the ball. You need the coordination and strength (and we're still not sure how JJ had those aspects down so quickly, given he never used to like tossing a ball around with his dad). You need your teammates to be in the right place, and you need to get past the opposing team. A different sort of challenge would have been a better fit here than football. I'm starting to feel like this show is just fast food. It looks right and smells okay, but it doesn't ultimately satisfy me, and now I'm feeling a little sick. I'm going to close this weecap so I don't make you feel sick, too.
Neither TiVo nor Yahoo TV has an episode listed for week, but IMDB.com currently claims ABC will be running "No Ordinary Visitors." That's election day, so I'm thinking TiVo and Yahoo are probably right, and we're getting a week off. If not, I'll see you week. In the meantime, please join us on the show thread, where you can totally use your newbilities in our reindeer games.
Watch a clip from the episode below, discuss it in our forums, and see what other TV family we wish had powers.
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