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Once upon a time, Prince Erik of Georgia married the evil Princess Kristina in order to unite his divided land. He wanted to do his duty as monarch, but alas! He fell in love with his commoner assistant Leela. Princess Kristina pretended that this bothered her not at all, but secretly she seethed and hatched an assassination plot with mercenaries from a foreign land. Little did she know that a brave-hearted little urchin named Alex was disguised amongst their ranks. Alex, having been trained by a rogue warrior named Nikita, plotted to move Prince Erik to safety when the mercenaries descended upon an exhibition of the crown jewels. But as is the wont of such plans, things went about as smoothly as horse armor through a dragon's bowels. Like a knight in shining formal wear, Nikita rescued the prince, but he refused to leave without Leela, for he planned to abdicate his throne for her.
A power-hungry young mercenary took over the plot, seeing his chance to capture Nikita and thus please his overlord Percy. Princess Kristina was most displeased. Alex surreptitiously aided Nikita, even as Princess Kristina captured Leela and threatened to kill her. Nikita came to know and admire the prince, although his dedication to love over duty made her bitterly remember someone who once made the opposite choice. Forsooth, that was Michael, once a gallant knight but now corrupted by the overlord Percy. Michael and his black-clad mercenaries descended upon Nikita and the prince. A mighty fight ensued, but Nikita emerged victorious! Reunited with Leela, Prince Erik rededicated himself to the throne, having learned from the rogue warrior that running wasn't the answer.
As Alex and Nikita sipped almond milk from their celebratory goblets, Michael began to scry that his prize pupil and arch enemy were conspiring together. Alack! Yea verily! And so on! Stay tuned for the full weecap.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!After the increasingly awkward intro, we join Alex in a Charm School training room. She's rehearsing a mission with a small group of other agents. As she describes their plan, the scene is intercut with shots of Nikita at the "Thorburg Cultural Center," scoping out the guards and other security measures that Alex is detailing. The plan is to hit the center during an exhibition of Georgian crown jewels and take down their target just as he takes the podium. The team leader, played by Brendan Fehr, seems overly confident of how easily and quickly they'll complete their mission. The universe laughs at him.
Later, Alex and Nikita are at the Loft of Fabulousness. Time to get through an expository chunk: Division's target is Prince Erik of Georgia, Alex and her team will be posing as Georgian armed forces, Nikita thinks someone wants it to look like the President of Georgia is behind the job. Alex thinks it's a "good way to start a coup," but I prefer a "yo mama" joke contest. "Yo mama so fat, people think she's the Caucasus Mountains every time she bends over!" Alex and Nikita watch some fluff TV interview of Prince Erik and his wife Princess Kristina. Kristina says both she and her husband come from royal families with claims to the throne. Marrying has united both their peoples. Nikita's impressed that Alex got such a profile op for her first mission: "Michael must really believe in you." Alex says Michael has nothing to do with this one, seeing as how he hates Percy's missions-for-hire. Aren't those, like, 99% of what Division does? Plus, it doesn't seem like Percy would just let him sit them out. But this time, at least he has the excuse of working on Division's security after Nikita's breach. Nikita is thoughtful for a while. "Has he asked about me?" she asks. "In an operational context, that is." No, but he has been seen doodling your name in his Trapper Keeper. Alex is curious about Nikita's history with Michael, but Nikita, embarrassed by her momentary lapse, wants them to focus on the mission. She needs a copy of all the mission intel.
Alex heads to Division's ops room with a flash drive. That won't be suspicious at all. Indeed, a nerd drone (Birkhoff is on leave) immediately confronts her. She lies, badly, that she just wanted to review the plans for the mission and the drone miraculously believes her. He sends the files to her phone. On her way out, she runs into Michael. They chitchat about his "Nikita-proof" security measures. He says, "She has a way of corrupting systems from the inside." Ooh, meaningful. He looks sad and angry.
Loft of Fabulousness. Nikita and Alex go over the files, trying to figure who on the inside would want Prince Erik dead. Their suspicion falls on General Zahidov, who seems in prime position to start an uprising if the president is blamed. He's also head of Erik's security. Alex suggests going through Princess Kristina to warn the prince. "I'll work on a cover to get into the museum event," Nikita says. "We'll be in and out before Division even gets there." You just jinxed it, lady!
She arrives at the Cultural Center on the night of the exhibit, dressed in a slinky silver dress that's slit all the way up her thigh. There's zero cellulite on Maggie Q. She approaches a young woman wearing a headset. Her name is Leela. Nikita asks to speak to Princess Kristina, saying that one of the necklaces is a fake. She talks some gemology razzle dazzle and convinces Leela to bring her to Kristina. As soon as Nikita is alone with the princess, she says, "Someone is going to kill your husband tonight." To prove it, she hands Kristina a copy of her supposedly private itinerary. Kristina calls for Zahidov, but Nikita warns her that he's compromised. Kristina talks to him privately, then returns to tell Nikita that she made some excuse. Naturally, this is a lie, which Nikita discovers when Zahidov pops up a moment later to taser her into unconsciousness. "We have to get rid of her," Kristina says coolly. She's an ice princess.
After a commercial break, Kristina is on the phone with Percy. He assures her that everything is fine, but she's all, "Who the hell is this bitch?" Nikita is still zonked out or she'd kick her ass for that. Percy dismisses her importance and tells Kristina to keep Nikita out of the way... "Although if you do kill her, I'd be happy to cut my commission." Zahidov wheels in a big laundry cart. Dude, I'm pretty sure her dress is dry clean only!
Cut to a van en route to the exhibit. Steven, the cocky team leader from earlier, says Percy just told him that Nikita is on the scene, but she's been "put down." Alex has a minor freakout.
Zahidov wheels Nikita down to the basement. He whips out a knife to finish her off, but she pops out of the cart and kicks his ass quite handily. She grabs his walkie, purposefully breaks the stiletto heels off her shoes, and runs off to do her Nikita thang. Meanwhile, Alex the Division agents, now clad in Georgian army gear and masks, descend on the cultural center. They shoot two guards in the chest (too bad the good guys didn't hatch any plans to save those two poor schmucks) and head for the exhibit, where Prince Erik is just about to take the stage. At the same time, Nikita is pummeling Erik's two guards. She grabs Erik and tells him his life is in danger. As if to illustrate her point, the agents stroll into the exhibit room and paint the ceiling with machine gun fire. Museum-goers scream and take cover. Steven shouts "For the patriots of Georgia!" in Georgian and aims his gun at the stage. Only then does he realize that his intended target isn't there. In plain, unaccented English, he shouts orders for the others to find the prince, thereby blowing whatever little ruse they had going. He heads for the security office, leaving Alex in charge.
Nikita and Erik skulk around other parts of the museum. She skillfully manages not to flash her goodies even with moving in a crouch. She must test these slinky dresses in front of a mirror before putting them in action. Erik is befuddled (about the assassination attempt, not her wardrobe) so Nikita explains that Zahidov and Kristina are responsible. Erik doesn't seem surprised. Their marriage was political in nature, meant to help restore Georgia's constitutional monarchy. He plans to give up his throne. "You don't love her," Nikita realizes. "People in love don't try to kill each other," Erik says. Nikita looks at him and deadpans, "Are you serious?" Heh. He's in love with his assistant Leela, which Kristina knew about and seemed totally fine with. Yeah... not so much. Nikita gives him the walkie and has him warn Leela that Kristina can't be trusted, then tells Leela to give her headset to Alex. Alex is relieved to hear Nikita's voice, but quickly puts on a show for the other agents. "Listen, bitch, I caught you once and I can do it again!" Nikita tells Alex to trip the silent alarm in the security office so the police will come.
Alex heads for the security office, where Steven is trying to catch sight of Nikita on the monitors. She gives him the headset so Nikita can distract him and mess with his mind a little. Alex secretly trips the alarm. Two masked agents walk into the room. Nikita grabs a katana from a display, artfully slashes the agents, then sheathes her sword as they fall silently to the floor. She's a badass. She grabs the fallen agents' guns and runs to the rooftop with the prince just as police cars pull into the street below. Nikita tells him to go, but he refuses to leave without Leela. "Love over duty, huh?" Nikita asks. "Who wouldn't make that choice?" Erik asks. It sounds like a rhetorical question, but Nikita whispers that she knows someone. In the security office, Steven is fuming. Alex thinks they should retreat, but Steven wants to capture Nikita. Does that ever end well for anybody?
Returning to the main exhibition room, Steven gives the other agents their orders to find Nikita. Alex says again they should leave. "Division will extract us from whatever custody," she says in earshot of the hostages. Steven blah blahs about how Percy will be happy when they kill Nikita. Good job keeping your secret organization a secret, you two.
Meanwhile, Nikita and Erik have made their way to the basement. Nikita notices some canisters of halon gas (a fire suppressant) and mulls this over for a bit. Erik notices a ricochet wound on Nikita's thigh and tends to it, because it turns out he's not just a prince, but a doctor, too. He's kind of awesome. Can we have him replace Ryan Fletcher? He also wants Nikita to know he hasn't broken his vows. He's in love with Leela, but won't be with her until he's left Kristina. They talk about love and honor and about how his country needs someone to believe in. She tells him not to underestimate them. She sounds sad.
Charm School. Percy and Michael brood in the ops room. The operation isn't going so well. Percy thinks it would be "swell" if they could get their men out and take Nikita at the same time. Michael scowls and schemes.
Back at the cultural center's basement, Nikita fiddles with the walkie until she gets the NYPD commander stationed outside. She gives him the lowdown about the hostages and the gunmen. As soon as she gets Erik and Leela out, she says the gunmen will surrender. About this time, Michael and a handful of other Division agents show up disguised as FBI. Michael takes the walkie. "Hello, Nikita," he greets her. She recognizes that gravelly voice. They have a conversation of dual meanings, about doing what they have to do, and how messy things can be. But he won't negotiate. "Some prince, huh?" she says to Erik. Erik looks sad for her.
Michael contacts Steven in the security room. Alex sneakily presses a button so that their conversation plays over the PA, alerting Nikita to their plans. Kristina's tired of this bullshit, so she gets Leela into the security room and has her talk to Erik. "Erik, I'm sorry," she says in a shaky voice. Then, stronger: "Sorry you were forced to marry psychopath!" Kristina whacks her across the face. Steven tells Erik to pick a house phone or he'll shoot Leela, but Nikita warns him away. It will reveal their location and then both Erik and Leela will be killed. Nikita calls Steven's bluff; he doesn't shoot. Kristina wants her dead, anyway, so Alex intervenes and breaks one of Leela's fingers. It makes her look like a baddie, but it also lets Nikita know that the situation is about to get worse. Nikita grabs the phone. Steven goes down to confront her. Alex talks to her and gives her a message that sounds like a threat but is actually a heads up. Alex tells Kristina to get back to her people and says she'll "take care" of Leela herself.
Steven and two agents head into the basement. Nikita drops down on them from above like a particularly shiny spider. Guns go off. The two redshirts drop. Michael, outside, hears the ruckus and orders his men inside. Erik, proving himself handy with a gun, takes care of Steven. Alex sets Leela free, then rejoins the other Division agents in the main exhibition hall. They "surrender" to the phony FBI tactical team. Kristina slaps Alex, sneering, "That was for my country." Alex hauls off and punches her in the face. Michael escorts Alex away. "She was just selling the act," he whispers. "So was I," Alex says innocently. Heh.
Leela and Erik reunite on the roof. Isn't someone going to realize Alex didn't "take care" of her? Nikita tells them to head straight for the police. "Fight for what you want," she tells Erik. "I will if you will." Well, she'll do some kind of fighting. She heads back to the basement and releases the halon gas. The basement fills with an obscuring haze. As Michael and his agents flood in, Nikita stealthily grabs one of them from behind and takes his disguise. Michael sees the guy lying on the floor in his underwear and realizes what's happened. He rushes out to the streets just in time to see a black-clad Nikita heading into the crowd. She turns back for a moment so they can give each other searing looks, then vanishes. Michael looks like he wants to cry or spit. Maybe both.
Later, Nikita and Alex meet at the Loft of Fabulousness. They watch a news broadcast about Kristina being taken into custody for the assassination plot. Erik speaks to reporters about dedicating himself to his duties as prince. Leela stands in the background as Erik promises someday he'll love again, or some crap like that. Alex and Nikita toast each other, Alex with a glass of almond milk, Nikita with expensive-sounding wine. Alex gets a call from Michael and panics for a moment until Nikita says she's programmed Alex's tracker so it looks like she's at home. What if Michael is calling from Alex's apartment? This seems like a dumb plan. As luck would have it, he's calling from the ops room. He wants to go over the mission debriefs with her, to fill in some gaps about Nikita's part in the whole thing. Alex lies and Michael pretends to be satisfied, but he's watching some surveillance footage of Alex at the exhibit. It's right after Leela first hands her the headset. Alex asks with concern, "Where are you?" It's not enough to give her away, but perhaps enough to make him suspicious. Nikita and Alex toast to their victory while Michael watches the video again. Yep, he's suspicious, all right. About time.
Tippi Blevins is going shopping for a dress she can fight in. You can reach her at b_tippi@yahoo.com or http://twitter.com/tippib.