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Casey Anthony is on trial, and Nancy Grace just stole all of NewsNight's viewers because Will and MacKenzie refuse to pay any attention to the trial the rest of America wants to see. Charlie orders them to do it in order to get the ratings back (since Leona will be able to fire Will easily if they don't), and Will agrees. MacKenzie throws like eight hissy fits. Also complicating matters is the presence of a reporter for New York magazine trying to do a profile of NewsNight. He also happens to be the guy with whom MacKenzie cheated on Will. Will chose him to write the profile for that exact reason. He realizes that might mean he's not making much progress in getting over MacKenzie. The psychiatrist whose session he interrupted agrees.
Meanwhile, Charlie goes to the library to meet Late for Dinner. They recap basically the entire last episode and Late for Dinner informs Charlie that the NSA is illegally listening to citizens' phone calls and somehow so is AWM. Leona doesn't know about it. Reese does. Jim is assigned to vet Late for Dinner as a source so Will doesn't get "Dan Rathered." That is not how you want your name to be used as a verb.
And in the annals of the lesser characters, Neal pitches a story about internet trolls that requires him to go deep undercover. A regular Nellie Bly, he is. Dr. Dr. Sloan is furious that her boring economy news about the debt ceiling isn't given enough airtime because Americans would rather watch the Casey Anthony trial. And Maggie goes on an anti-Bachmann Christianity rant before being assigned to produce a segment about the lowest of the very low: a woman who had a Twitter-fling with Anthony Weiner. Fortunately, God – no doubt pleased with Maggie's earlier speech – turns the lights out before the horrible Weiner weiner segment can be taped. To be continued!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Remember that guy on Parks and Recreation who got fired after the second season because his character was so boring and kind of useless? Well, he just found a new home on The Newsroom! He's a print journalist personally selected by Will to interview him. Will says he's not big on print journalists because they "play fast and loose with exclamation points." He thinks it's the exclamation points that make him seem deranged. Brian (the reporter) asks Will why -- after a year of refusing interviews -- he's agreeing to one with Brian. Will lights up a cigarette and says he wants a "document" of what his horrible show is trying to do. That's not what Brian meant: he wants to know why Will chose him to write it. Will says Brian covers the media better than anyone else, his "recent complications notwithstanding." Like his inability to find a razorblade or a hairbrush? Print journalists are so gross, you guys.
Will generously "offers" to let Brian spend a few days in the newsroom and talk to whoever he wants as long as everything is off the record. If Will "likes how it feels," he'll let Brian do some actual reporting. But Will retains the right to pull things off the record if he so chooses. Brian says he's not about to audition to write this profile. Will points out that he used to be a hotshot Newsweek reporter and now he just has "a blogggggg." Will made sure to draw out the G there for maximum disgust. Brian and Will fight over who has more "fucking disdain" for the Internet (answer: they both lose to Sorkin) and Brian exposits that his attempt to use his Newsweek buyout money to start his own Huffington Post-like site failed and left him broke and unemployed. This is a sad statement about the dire state of the journalism business we will not be learning more about on this show. Will says everyone wants to cover his horrible show, but he's giving the story to New York magazine and Brian. Brian asks about their personal history. Will thinks he means how Brian used to call him out for being the Jay Leno of the news, but Brian says that's not what he meant and Will knows it. "So please stop fucking around with me," he requests. Will allows him to put one sentence in the second paragraph that says he is a "friend" of MacKenzie and only report what the world already knows about Will's relationship with her thanks to her inability to send emails. Brian says he's "fine" with all that, but he will not allow Will to tell him what he will or won't do anymore. Which is fine, since I don't think there's anything else Will possibly could tell him. Brian asks Will why he wants his show to be documented now. Is it in danger? Will says it might be, but he needs to meet with Reese first.
Charlie, MacKenzie and Will meet in Reese's office. Reese opens by saying he's not going to tell them what to put on the air. Charlie says he isn't allowed to. Why not? His mom owns the station. There aren't laws prohibiting people who own news stations from dictating what those stations cover. "May 27, 2011" pops up on the screen as Reese informs the three that their ratings last week tanked. Casey Anthony's trial just started and NewsNight is too good to cover something like that, so they ignored it. Their timeslot competitor Nancy Grace did not ignore it, and she gained like 1.3 million viewers. NewsNight, on the other hand, lost half its audience and went from second in the ratings to fifth. HA HA HA! This is my favorite storyline ever. Reese asks who the genius who decided not to cover the Casey Anthony trial was. All three claim it was his. Reese is not entertained. He decides it's MacKenzie's fault. MacKenzie smirks.
Reese says MacKenzie made a choice to work for a commercial cable channel. I don't know if she chose it so much as she didn't have any other job prospects because she's so bad at this. "You have a ratings obligation," Reese says. MacKenzie says Reese is the one with the obligation. "I'm in business with the viewers," she explains. Um... what viewers? They don't have any viewers anymore, thanks to MacKenzie's news savvy. Despite the fact that she just spent over a year making her viewers better people and informing them about things like politics and the economy, they all still would rather watch the Casey Anthony trial. Oops!
Reese tells them to do whatever they want with that information. They leave, and Charlie says he is not about to let a "psychotic cocktail waitress" take his show down. I'm guessing he's talking about Casey Anthony and not Reese? I wonder how he knows so much about her. Maybe he watches Nancy Grace. MacKenzie says they just have to wait out the trial, which she doesn't think will take very long. Will predicts six weeks. Charlie says that's too long. "We're gonna cover Casey Anthony," he says. "Bullshit we are!" MacKenzie says to her boss's boss. Charlie says they can prep over Memorial Day weekend, then be ready to open Tuesday's show with all Casey Anthony all the time.
MacKenzie can't believe what she's hearing. Charlie can't believe they lost half their audience. "It's unprecedented!" he sputters. MacKenzie asks Will to speak up on her behalf. "Have marketing promo the living shit out of Casey Anthony," Will says. MacKenzie cannot BELIEVE what she's hearing even more! So much so that she has to reference stupid Don Quixote again. Oh, and Will's "mission to civilize" that is probably best if the viewing audience is allowed to forget. Then she starts screaming a lot about how horrible the Casey Anthony situation is and how we're all evil for wanting to know more about it. "It's news!" Will says. "It's entertainment!" MacKenzie says; "and it's just -- just -- this side of a snuff film!" I kind of wish this show was a snuff film.
Charlie asks MacKenzie to sit down, but she will not be stopped. More screaming happens. Charlie screams too, and that gets MacKenzie to finally sit down. He says that having to show the Casey Anthony trial makes him sick, but it's unavoidable. MacKenzie still doesn't understand why. Will says they've never had a ratings dive like this and if they can't get the viewers back then they'll have no chance at landing the debates using the amazing new debate format he thinks will "fundamentally change the way we interview presidential candidates for the job." MacKenzie accuses them both of acting like women. Whoa, MacKenzie, chill! That is taking things just a little bit too far, insulting them like that. Charlie says the other reason why they can't let the ratings stay low is because Leona will use them to fire Will without having to explain why. That seems to win MacKenzie over.
Will and MacKenzie head back to work. MacKenzie apologizes for her outburst, but I'm sure Will is used to that sort of thing by now. Then again, I've been recapping this show for two months now and her voice is still like nails on a chalkboard for me. Will wonders if perhaps MacKenzie is upset about Brian. He says Brian won't be writing a "tell-all" about MacKenzie -- just one sentence about their prior relationship. He also says that since Murrow did puff pieces on celebrities at the same time as he was going after McCarthy, they should be okay reporting on Casey Anthony at the same time as they go after... uh... Michele Bachmann? Who is NewsNight's target this month? Also, that was Murrow Mention #50,002. That guy gets almost as much play on this show as Don Quixote.
Jim lies that it's good to see Brian again. Brian notices that Jim is looking at a Breitbart website. Jim explains that it's part of his preparation for a mock debate they're planning to show off to the Republican National Committee in the hopes that they'll land the debate with their radical new format that we all already know won't happen. Because the debates already have happened in real life and Will wasn't moderating them. Because he doesn't exist. But these debates do. So this is stupid. Jim will be playing Michele Bachmann for the mock debate. But that's all he'll tell Brian because he doesn't seem to understand what "off the record" means.
Dr. Dr. Sloan finds MacKenzie in the only bar in New York. She asks if she can have a few extra minutes in Tuesday's broadcast for some important economic news: the House of Representatives will be voting on whether or not to raise the debt ceiling. Dr. Dr. Sloan says the vote itself isn't as important as what it represents: the beginning of a whole lot of fighting in Washington that "could end in catastrophe." Or it could end in the stock market going way down, me selling my car because I was moving to New York City, and then me investing the car sale money into the stock market and making 17% in one year! Best catastrophe ever (for me)! I LOVE debt ceilings!
MacKenzie says she can't give Dr. Dr. Sloan the extra time because of Casey Anthony. So now it's Casey Anthony's fault that Americans don't know enough about the debt ceiling. Dr. Dr. Sloan doesn't understand how Casey Anthony can be more important than her precious debt ceiling. MacKenzie tries to explain that ratings are important and you can't tell anyone about the debt ceiling at any point if you don't have them and your show gets cancelled. You also won't get the all-important debate, which she points out that Jim and Neal are in the corner of the bar studying for on a Friday night like a bunch of news-loving losers.
Neal asks Jim Bachmann about the reforms he wants to make to Social Security and Medicaid. Jim says he will reduce benefits and repeal the Obamacare law. Neal points out that presidents can't repeal laws. Jim says Michele Bachmann seems to think they can. He goes to show Neal where he saw her say it on the Breitbart website, only to find it reporting that Anthony Weiner's Twitter account was hacked.
Dr. Dr. Sloan won't give up. She says if they lead with the debt ceiling story and then go to Casey Anthony that will really demonstrate to their viewers how important the debt ceiling story is. No, it won't, because they'll all be asleep. MacKenzie asks the bartender for another drink, and Dr. Dr. Sloan starts talking about how cute Brian is and how MacKenzie should totally hit that. MacKenzie says she's been there, done that. Yes, Brian was the ex-boyfriend with whom MacKenzie cheated on Will, although it takes super-genius Dr. Dr. Sloan way too long to do the math and figure that one out. MacKenzie says she'd been with Will for a year when Brian started to call her again. Dr. Dr. Sloan doesn't understand why Will would pick Brian to do this story. MacKenzie doesn't, either. She also doesn't want to talk about this anymore, so she tells Dr. Dr. Sloan she'll do her best to get the debt ceiling story in -- unless she's forced to shove more news garbage down her viewers' throats. "Anthony Weiner accidentally tweeted a picture of his groin to 40,000 followers," Jim announces.
It's finally Tuesday. Weiner is on CNN denying that it was his crotch in that photo. Way to get Weiner on your show, Will. Will and MacKenzie watch him for a minute, then Will calls Weiner and leaves a message that he's being given "terrible advice." To deny it? I would so deny it. Actually, I wouldn't tweet groin shots in the first place, so it's a moot point. But if I did, I would absolutely deny it on my way out of the country to my new home in whatever country doesn't have the Internet. Will wants three minutes on Weiner for that night's broadcast. MacKenzie, of course, doesn't want to devote any time to something people might actually be interested in. Will says he has to attack a liberal or else it'll look like he only goes after Tea Partiers. Yeah, one report about a guy who tweeted crotch shots will totally balance out those months and months he spent going after everyone in the Tea Party. MacKenzie whines and screams and is wearing an outfit that kind of makes her look like a clown. But she agrees to put three minutes of Weiner in the second block and storms out of the office.
Brian watched all of this. He asks Will about his attacks on the Tea Party, saying Will have been much more critical of it than any other Republican in the media. Will lists a bunch of people who have attacked the Tea Party (all of whom have probably done it better) and Brian says none of those people work for Leona Lansing, who must not be pleased that her anchor is attacking politicians whose support she needs. Will refuses to comment on that. He says if Leona wants to fire him, she can just buy out his contract. Brian says she'd still have to explain why she got rid of the second-most-watched anchor on cable. What is all of this "she'd have to explain" BS? Would she really? Are people really going to care if Leona Lansing fires an anchor without having an explanation? I don't think they will. Today fired Ann Curry and most of the people who thought it was grossly unfair are still watching.
Brian asks if Leona is using TMI to "manufacture" a reason to fire Will. Will says maybe. Brian says she wouldn't need a reason at all if NewsNight sank in the ratings because it was "too highbrow" to cover Casey Anthony. Brian recaps the entire season so far: Will's crappy show is making Leona's life in Washington D.C. harder so she's trying to get rid of him. Brian says he would have "caved" and reported on Casey Anthony too. Will says Brian isn't a serious journalist to begin with because he agreed to Will's ridiculous demands last Friday. Way to win the reporter over, Will.
Gary Cooper will be playing the part of Ron Paul in the mock debate. I'm not sure who Maggie supposed to be as she asks Jim Bachmann what she thinks is the most important question ever: since Bachmann claims that God told her to run for president, what does God's voice sound like? Rodney Dangerfield laughs at Maggie's question, but she says she isn't kidding. Also, why does no one ever eat those delicious-looking pastries that are always on the table of the conference room? And why does that conference room always get such delicious pastries? Who is bringing them in all the time? I'm hungry.
Anyway, whatever, Maggie demands that the first question to Michele Bachmann be about God speaking to her. What does his voice sound like? What did he say, word for word? Does he speak English? Does she hear voices often? "She's claiming to be a prophet!" Maggie says; "how is this not the first question Will asks?" Thank you for your contributions, Maggie. But even I, with no Christian upbringing whatsoever, know that usually when people say that God "spoke" to them, they don't necessarily mean that literally. Sometimes, they just mean they got a feeling or something. They don't literally hear some old guy's echo-y voice in their heads. That's all Michele Bachmann would have to say to make Will look kind of stupid for asking the question in the first place. That's probably why the other journalists haven't. But good thinking there, Sorkin, you media visionary, you!
Jim doesn't say this, of course. First he asks Maggie to stop calling him "she" and "her" because when you're on a show like this, being called a woman is the ultimate insult. "You're the one who wanted to play a woman," Maggie snarls. Jim goes on, saying a question like that doesn't "demonstrate a seriousness of intent" and is insulting to Christians. Maggie says she's a Christian too, and Michele Bachmann is the insulter, not Maggie. Maggie thinks that Michele Bachmann is insulting Maggie, Maggie's family, Maggie's congregation and Maggie's faith. Because she says God speaks to her? Give me a break, Mags. She thinks that Michele Bachmann is suggesting that all Christians are imbeciles and that God is a Republican. If you take what Bachmann said that literally, then sure. But no one really does, because it makes you look ridiculous. Also, I am now defending Michele Bachmann because I hate this show so much.
Maggie says that if she's wrong and God truly is speaking to Bachmann, then that too should be addressed. Oh my god DROP IT! Jim says they won't get the debate if they make fun of the candidates. Maggie says she thought the whole point of this new debate format was to ask the candidates tough questions and make them accountable for their answers. Jim rolls his eyes. Kendra looks about ready to smack Maggie. Maggie says if Bachmann knows what God wants, then she'll vote for her. If she doesn't, then she should stop saying she does. This makes no sense. Does she really think that Bachmann is going to just admit that she doesn't hear God's voice? Why does she assume that Bachmann doesn't truly believe God is telling her to run for president? Is religion and spirituality really that difficult for Sorkin to understand? MacKenzie and Will walk in, but Maggie is still fired up and gives them a "just a moment, please!" She thinks she's standing up for all the Christians who are tired of having their identities stolen by... uh... Republican presidential candidates? I don't know, Maggie lost me and everyone else a few minutes ago.
Maggie finally runs out of steam, so MacKenzie gets to do her job. She informs the crew that they'll be leading with the Casey Anthony story tonight. Of course, they all think their show is better than that because NewsNight is a cult and MacKenzie is their leader. So she throws another hissy fit and makes a big show out of erasing a whole bunch of "important" stories from the rundown to make room for Casey Anthony. By the way, those important stories look borrrrriiinnngggg. Bring on the alleged baby killer! MacKenzie says that she knows her crew needs training in how to make the news an engaging experience for its audience, so she brought Don in to help. "Forget everything you know about the news," Don begins. "Done!" MacKenzie says immediately. Wow, it didn't take her long, did it? Makes one wonder if perhaps she didn't know all that much to begin with ...
And then!!!! Charlie GOES TO THE LBRARY!!!! THRILL! Actually, it does seem really exciting, if only because we're 1) In a new location, and 2) It was accompanied by a jaunty musical flourish. Charlie walks into a reading room and spots a man wearing a carnation on his lapel. He sits down to him, whispering, "I'm Charlie Skinner." "Shall I call you Mr. Hancock?" Charlie asks. "It's Schneider," the man says, looking confused. "How many aliases do you have?" Charlie grumbles. Schneider is even more confused. "Are you 'Late for Dinner?'" Charlie asks. "I have no idea what you're talking about," Schneider says. That is the worst thing about urban public libraries! They are full of crazy people!
A familiar voice calls Charlie over. Yes, it's the actual Late for Dinner -- his voice is very distinctive, enough so that you'd think Charlie would have immediately realized Schneider wasn't him. An embarrassed Charlie tries to play it cool while leaving Schneider's table. I feel like I've seen this kind of thing several times on Get Smart, except that on Get Smart it was so much funnier. Charlie introduces himself to Solomon Hancock, the real Late for Dinner, who doesn't understand why Charlie assumed he was a nerdy middle-aged white man named Schneider. Charlie says the carnation threw him off. Hancock says he never claimed he would be wearing any kind of flower. Charlie watched too many spy movies. Hancock might have, too: he demands that Charlie take the battery out of his cell phone in case the evildoers are using it to listen in on the conversation. Um... if they are, then they kind of already heard Hancock's name and that he set up this meeting with Charlie, right? Why stop now?
Charlie doesn't know how to remove his battery, so Hancock does it for him. "I'll never be able to put that back together," Charlie sighs. BlackBerry Casualty #3 on this show, I believe? Charlie asks Hancock to tell him about himself. Hancock says he used to work for the government during the Cold War, then the private sector and then, after 9/11, for the government again. "You're an IT guy," Charlie says. Hancock bristles. "My title is assistant deputy director of technology and systems cryptology and mathematics at NSA," he says. He writes it down for Charlie, who has pretty clearly demonstrated his inability to follow what's going on.
Hancock says he tests NSA software like a program called Global Clarity, used to search millions of electronic communications all over the world to try to find bin Laden. It was created by defense contractors and, as Hancock says, intercepts 1.7 billion phone calls, emails, texts, etc. every day. "Legally?" Charlie asks. Of course not! Duh. Hancock says he's talking about "illegal, warrantless wiretapping of American citizens." Charlie needs further clarification on what Hancock means by "warrantless." "Without a warrant!" Hancock says, losing patience. The NSA has been "happily" breaking all kinds of laws and amendments and is spying on us all. Yeah? Have fun listening to all of my boring phone conversations, NSA. Hancock says some NSA employees are using the technology to spy on ex-spouses and even movie stars! Oh god no, not our movie stars!!!
Charlie asks if he's the first person Hancock has told about this. I hope not, or else I'd have some serious doubts about Hancock's judgment. Hancock says he's already testified in front of Congress and the Pentagon about this, but they didn't care. So... everyone knows about this, basically? It's in the congressional records somewhere? Okay then. But what people don't know, apparently, is that TMI has been using the same technology to hack phones, just like News of the World. Way to be original, TMI. Leona Lansing doesn't know about it, but her son does. In fact, he ordered it. And Hancock knows this how? Because he listened in on Reese's phone calls? It's never really made clear. Hancock hands Charlie an envelope full of publically available, non-classified transcripts of his testimony before Congress and the Pentagon. He tells Charlie to vet it and him and "take all the time that you need." Except not really, since we only have two more episodes left in this season! Happy day! Hancock says he's sick of watching his government turn into the communist regime he once fought against. He says if ACN reports on the Global Clarity NSA spy project, he'll help him deal with Leona Lansing.
Don breaks down Nancy Grace's style. Nancy Grace is in the middle of the screen, surrounded by experts and Caylee Anthony videos. He hits "play" and we get to watch freaking Nancy Grace for a few seconds. That's not cool, Sorkin, making us watch this. A shot of Casey Anthony's tattoo fills the screen, and Don says this is because Nancy Grace knew someone like Tess was getting bored, so she put an exciting tattoo picture up to keep her interested. Tess admits that she was, in fact, getting bored. Don adds that the tattoo also makes Casey Anthony seem like a bad mom and "no one's ever gone broke in America serving up a woman who makes other women feel superior." Oh, uh... thanks for that, Don. It's true that I derive a personal and petty satisfaction watching other women be so bad at mothering that they possibly kill their own kids. What a thrill for me and for the rest of my gender. It's certainly more entertaining than a congressman who doesn't know how to DM penis pics.
One of Nancy Grace's experts agrees with her, so more Caylee Anthony videos fill the screen. "Look how cute Caylee is!" Don says; "she deserved better than a mom with a tattoo. She deserved -- she deserved... " And then all the women at the table say "me" except for MacKenzie. MacKenzie is right, by the way. Caylee deserves much better than a mother like MacKenzie. Or Casey Anthony. Or Nancy Grace. Just so we're clear. You know what else Caylee Anthony deserves better than? To be used as a plot point on a show about how tragic deaths shouldn't be used for ratings.
Don turns to how Nancy Grace breaks down courtroom footage of the evil Casey Anthony. There's a quick shot of Casey and her lawyer looking angry at each other, which Nancy Grace uses to demonstrate that Casey and her lawyer are not getting along, thus creating the best show ever for people who like to discuss this kind of thing on the Internet. "All right! Enough!" MacKenzie finally says. She thinks they can focus on the criminal justice system in this country tonight, using Will's prosecutor past. Don says that's really boring and says that Casey Anthony may not be guilty, which no one wants to hear. "We're gonna cover it our way," MacKenzie says. Uh no, you're not. No one wants to see that. Half a million of your viewers left in one week because they don't want to see it. Stop trying to make it happen. MacKenzie pouts that they could just commit murder on the air to really show Nancy Grace up. I am all for this! They shouldn't stop at one murder, either. They should murder EVERYONE. Kendra, Gary Cooper, Rodney Dangerfield, Tess, Dr. Dr. Sloan, whoever does that show that's on after Will's and before Elliot's and Julie Cooper may live. Everyone else dies.
MacKenzie's outburst is ignored. She asks how they can get good guests for tonight. Don says she'll have to go through Dylan Kagan, who is everyone's agent. He combs through crime reports and news looking for "oh my god stories" like Caylee Anthony and then represents everyone from "the trailer park." Because Sorkin thinks that everyone associated with a "trashy" crime is from a trailer park. By the way, Sorkin was once arrested for possession of pot, shrooms and crack. "He packages the missing white girl," Don says. Well, that sounds easy enough! Call Dylan for all your tragedy booking needs!
MacKenzie says Casey Anthony will be the first story and Anthony Weiner is the second. Despite her supposedly American upbringing, she pronounces "Anthony" the English way, with a hard T instead of a TH. Jim says they don't have much for the Weiner block -- just Twitter pictures and denials. MacKenzie says they don't want to wait until they have anything more because that would be "newsy" and "elitist." I'm sorry, but how is it "newsy" to refuse to report a story until you get the facts from a bunch of other news outlets? That seems like the opposite of newsy to me. MacKenzie doesn't care. She says they're "abominations" anyway, and that's where Will objects. He says the country will be okay without them ordering it to "eat its vegetables" for a few weeks. Even Will knows that his show is awful and everyone hates it! I don't understand why he wants to do a show like that or why anyone wants to watch it. "GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER!" he screams at everyone. Ah, just like the Will of the pilot! Nice to see he hasn't gotten any better in the past year. Don says Will is right. MacKenzie makes a sad face and says the failed war on drugs she wanted to bore her audience to tears with a story about is a lot like her own war on news people want to watch.
Charlie calls MacKenzie into Will's office. Or maybe it's MacKenzie's? Everything looks the same to me these days. Also, why is the lighting through the windows all early morning/early evening-looking, but it's supposed to be noon? GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER! Brian tries to get in there too, but Charlie closes the door in his face. He reminds us all what happened last week yet again and then what happened a few scenes ago. MacKenzie and Will are cartoonishly shocked to hear that TMI has been hacking phones. MacKenzie selects Jim for Hancock-vetting duty. "Is he up for this?" Will asks. I would hope so. It's been over a year and you still haven't managed to hire anyone else capable of doing it. "He is, Will. I taught him how to do the news. I taught them all how to do the news," MacKenzie says. And that explains why they are all so bad at it.
Will asks Charlie to leave. He does. Now Will and MacKenzie can have it out over Brian. No, not the news and whether or not the Casey Anthony/Anthony Weiner stories are worthy, but over Brian because that's what MacKenzie is really upset about. MacKenzie asks Will why -- of all the writers out there -- he picked her ex-boyfriend. Will says that was the point; if he writes anything negative, it'll be shrugged off as latent personal issues. MacKenzie seems to accept that and asks if they can squeeze Dr. Dr. Sloan's news about a possible global financial meltdown in before the Weiner story. Will doesn't seem to care.
Will says good-night to his audience. He compromised his principles, reported on Casey Anthony and now it's time for the mysterious Terry Smith to do his or her fine upstanding program.
The day, ACN ads are already billing NewsNight as the place to go for Casey Anthony coverage. Reese cheerfully tells Will he got 150,000 more viewers last night, "almost all women!" I think that's only because women in the Newsroom universe are too stupid to know how to change the channel away from ACN and to a channel with the kind of petty gossip news ladies love. Will assures Reese that ACN will continue its Casey Anthony coverage and Reese comments that it's really hot today -- almost record-breakingly so. Will clearly doesn't care what Reese has to say. They are no longer happy fun friends. Reese pushes Will to report on the weather today. Will refuses to "do a fucking weather report" because things like hot temperatures and tornados are not what a "serious news organization" like ACN should cover. Yeah, tell that to Hurricane Katrina, Will. Or any of the heat waves that almost always result in casualties. Also, Will, don't try to be as awesome as Jeremy Paxman. Only Paxman gets away with thinking he's better than a weather report. You do not. Reese reminds Will that he just got back 150,000 viewers he lost "while you were trying to be above it," so Will shouldn't try to think he's above telling America that it's hot outside. "98 degrees is when we have power outages," he says. THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER. Also, he's wrong. Everyone knows that 98 Degrees is when we have classic boy band hits.
It took Charlie, Will, and MacKenzie an entire day to get whatever they need to get together to give Jim the assignment to vet Hancock and tell him about what the NSA and AWM are up to. MacKenzie says that either they have an amazing scoop on the NSA (and ACN's parent company), or someone is trying to set Will up like Dan Rather. Jim will have to find out by "filing a couple of hundred of freedom of information act requests" and somehow not letting the NSA know. Jim says he is up for the challenge because he is the best senior producer ever who never does anything wrong.
MacKenzie returns to her office, where she finds Brian. MacKenzie doesn't really want to talk to him. Brian doesn't care. He asks her what's so special about the Republican debate that NewsNight has to abandon its principles for a chance to show it. MacKenzie thinks their new format will "change the debates forever." I'm still not sure what their stupid new format even is. It appears to just be asking candidates questions, but I think that's already part of the old format. Brian wonders if Will isn't just using the lost viewers and the debate as an excuse to "dumb the show down" and get his audience back. MacKenzie doesn't answer his question, preferring instead to belittle Brian by saying he's "auditioning" for this job. Brian says he's pretty sure he has the job, just because he's the one MacKenzie cheated on Will with. It turns out he didn't even know MacKenzie was seeing anyone when they were hooking up, so MacKenzie kind of cheated on Will and Brian. MacKenzie is adamant that she only cheated on Will and she sorely regrets it now that she works "30 feet from the life I could have had if I hadn't been so stupid." Brian, on the other hand, is looking that he life he could've had if he "hadn't been a douchebag." I think Brian is feeling pretty relieved that he's a douchebag right about now.
Speaking of douchebags, Neal walks in to pitch a story to MacKenzie. He thinks NewsNight should cover trolls. MacKenzie assumes he's talking about the trolls that guard bridges. "They're not real, man!" she says. Even Brian knows Neal is talking about Internet trolls. Neal has to explain what Internet trolls are to MacKenzie (who probably doesn't know what this 'Internet' everyone keeps talking about is either) and that they have their own websites and clubs devoted to their evil craft. This is the first MacKenzie has heard of something that has been going on for like 20 years. Neal wants to earn the trolls' trust by posing as one -- which means trolling. DUN DUN DUNNNNN that is some dangerous undercover work, there. It's not super ethical, either. Nor is this a story that seems to be very valuable to the voting public MacKenzie wants to inform with her crap news show. And yet, MacKenzie thinks this is a great idea. She tells Neal to let her know when he has a trolling target picked out.
Neal leaves the office and walks into Dr. Dr. Sloan. He asks her if it would be okay with her if, for the sake of a story, he went on the Internet and made misogynistic comments about her. Why do that on the Internet when you can build an entire HBO series around misogynistic statements? Neal is aiming too low here. Dr. Dr. Sloan asks for specifics, and Neal comes up with one that claims Dr. Dr. Sloan "screwed her way to the top" and has a big ass. Dr. Dr. Sloan slams Neal into a wall and angrily asks him if it's true that she has a big ass. She's fine with the allegation that she screwed her way to the top, but the big ass comment gets her? I hate this show. Dr. Dr. Sloan does not give Neal permission to troll her. Neal tries to make her feel better (I think?) by saying that lots of guys like women with junk in the trunk, which earns him another shove into the wall and Dr. Dr. Sloan insecurely asking if that's true. God, listen to some Sir Mix-a-Lot, genius.
Martin gets a call from a woman with Weiner wiener photos. Jim is utterly disgusted with this story and this woman and hands it off to the person in charge, who, it turns out, is Kendra. Kendra quickly passes it down to Gary Cooper, who goes to Tess, who throws it to Julie Cooper. Julie Cooper objects, saying she and Tess were hired on the same day. "I was hired in the morning. You were hired after lunch," Tess says. "Please don't make me take the Weiner girl," Julie Cooper groans. "Respect the seniority!" Tess says. Um, can we get rid of almost everyone else on this show and just keep those two? They are great. I want them to have a delightful sitcom where they are roommates in an apartment and they have a quirky neighbor who looks a lot like Rodney Dangerfield. Dr. Dr. Sloan can guest star occasionally. I would've put her in the main cast but then she had to go be all violently insecure about the size of her butt.
Julie Cooper looks around for someone she has seniority over and finds Maggie. HA!! Maggie is the lowest of the low! I'm pretty sure that makes her, like, the Deanna Troi of NewsNight. She was the last in the chain of command on Star Trek: The Generation, right? I'd ask people but I don't want them to think I'm a nerd who watches Star Trek: The Generation.
Terry Crews is still on this show even though we haven't heard anything about Will's death threat in like three episodes and two months of show time. He walks Will into his psychiatrist's office. Will doesn't have an appointment, but he is more important than everyone else so he feels comfortable barging in and interrupting someone else's appointment. Even Terry Crews thinks Will is being an asshole here. Jack finally opens his door after Will knocks on it for several minutes. He looks kind of annoyed, for some reason. Will says Jack can give him a few non-scheduled minutes because he paid him and his father all that money for four year's of appointments he didn't actually attend. Somehow, that works.
Will says he's been a sellout douche lately -- going for ratings over news quality and treating his underlings poorly, all "in the blink of an eye." That's fine. What he's worried about is the fact that he chose the guy MacKenzie with whom cheated on him to write his profile. He wants to know why he did that. Jack says Will is trying to prove to himself that he can be around people like Brian and not care, even though he clearly does. He has to forgive MacKenzie and stop hurting her. He doesn't look very willing to do either.
Maggie meets with Sandy, the Weiner girl. They stuck her in the conference room to create as much of a buffer zone as possible between the fine upstanding citizens employed by NewsNight and the disgusting garbage that uses Twitter. Sandy starts off by asking Maggie for reimbursement for her cab because she is all about money, then hands Maggie a folder with copies of all the tweets Weiner sent her. Some of them are way longer than 140 characters. All of them are met with a scowl of disapproval from Maggie, who asks Sandy why she's doing this. Sandy says the world should know what kind of person Weiner is. Maggie says Sandy didn't seem to mind that when she was exchanging tweets with him. Sandy says she didn't know then that he was tweet-flirting with other women. She did know he was married, but she is a horrible person with screwed up morals and so thought that was okay. Also, Dylan Kagan is her agent. Say what you will about Kagan, but he is much better at this investigation thing that anyone at NewsNight.
Maggie asks Sandy if she's sure she wants to "pile on" to Weiner's problems. She absolutely does. Maggie offers her a slot on tonight's show. Sandy can't make it because she's already booked Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight and Fox. No show on Fox, just "Fox." "The big three," Maggie says sarcastically. She asks if Sandy can just shoot her segment right now and get it over with. Sandy agrees and asks for a decaf latte. WHAT A DEMANDING BITCH WITH HER COFFEE REQUESTS. Maggie leaves the room and throws the cab receipt in the recycling bin. That's professional.
Jane Fonda is back!! Charlie runs after her, catching her just before she gets in her limo to be driven off to hopefully the set of a show more worthy of her talents. For some reason, Charlie thinks everyone is looking at them and reporting what their conversation is about, so he demands that they smile and look friendly while discussing sensitive issues like where TMI's stories are coming from. It's been six months and this is the first time they're discussing this? Come on. "They're coming from reality," Jane Fonda says. Well, that's... totally true, actually! TMI wouldn't have anything to report if Will wasn't such a horrible person and MacKenzie wasn't so bad at her job.
Jane Fonda reminds Charlie and us that she warned Charlie that this would happen if Will didn't lighten up on the Tea Party, only for Will to go on the very day and accuse Tea Party members of hypocrisy. Charlie says Will was just stating the facts. Yeah, and so is TMI. Jane Fonda says Will's reporting has lost AWM a lot of money in closed tax loopholes and FCC bureaucracy. "You don't wanna do this," Charlie "warns." It doesn't make any sense for him to threaten Leona like that when as far as we know, she doesn't know about the phone hacking. She doesn't seem too scared. Instead, she tells Charlie to tell Will that he is "one tabloid fuck-up and a ratings point away from having his own podcast." With that, she gets in the limo and leaves. Charlie looks very satisfied with himself for accomplishing absolutely nothing. By the way, isn't it like 98 degrees outside? Everyone is wearing pants and coats.
Dr. Dr. Sloan informs MacKenzie that the stock markets are tanking. MacKenzie says she doesn't own much stock, so this doesn't concern her. Idiot. Dr. Dr. Sloan won't let her shrug this off. She says she has quotes from "hardcore Wall Street guys" who predict certain doom is the debt ceiling is not raised -- or even if the Republicans in the House of Representatives continue to discuss the possibility of not raising it. Unfortunately, Dr. Dr. Sloan seems less upset about all of this than she did over the possibility that she might have a big ass.
MacKenzie claims she understands why Dr. Dr. Sloan is so upset (which, no, she doesn't. She made that very clear in the episode where she couldn't count without using her fingers), but she can't do it. Dr. Dr. Sloan screams at her for not covering this weeks ago (where was Dr. Dr. Sloan on this weeks ago when she would have had a chance to get the economy news in the Casey Anthony slot?) when the informed viewers could have called their representatives and prevented this from happening. Except only three people watch this show, so I don't think they could have done much. MacKenzie assures Dr. Dr. Sloan that she'll do everything she can. Brian watches the whole thing and adds to it by saying that as great as MacKenzie seems to think Will is compared to him, he wouldn't have sic'd an ex-boyfriend reporter on her like Will did. He's not wrong!
MacKenzie heads into the control room for the pre-show taping of Sandy, a.k.a. the Woman Who Ruined NewsNight's Integrity. Even those guys in the control room seem embarrassed, such a horrible news subject is Sandy. MacKenzie talks to Sandy and has a hard time even calling herself the "Executive Producer" of a show she is now so very ashamed of. Get over yourself. Will finally arrives to do his job and he's an asshole to everyone, especially Sandy. They get ready to tape, and MacKenzie whines "God, please give me a sign we're not doing a big thing badly." And then all the lights go out. The entire building just lost power. MacKenzie praises God's "comic timing." If God had anything to do with this show, everyone involved would have been struck by lightning and we'd be watching a pile of charred crispy bones for the past eight hours.
And on that thrilling cliffhanger, the episode, too, loses power. See you week for Part 2. I don't know about you guys, but I cannot WAIT to see how the Newsroom crew digs its way out of this mess!!!
To read more from Sara Morrison, you can follow her on Twitter, subscribe to her on Facebook or you can just email her at saramorrison@gmail.com.
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