In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
It's time to hit the road for the big Luke Wheeler tour! Rayna is psyched -- not only to support Scarlett during her big debut, but also to knock boots with Luke for a weekend. As she's packing a bag full of lingerie, she's interrupted by two officers who serve her with a court order from Jeff Fordham. She's forced to hand over her masters or go to jail, and is not happy to have missed her plane to Tampa in the process. Because she gets to Tampa late, she isn't able to help Scarlett with some of her pre-show preparation OR to ward off psychological torment by Jeff. Deacon is there, though the most that he offers are some encouraging words and a pillow. As per the previews, Scarlett steps out on stage without properly functioning ear monitors. She tanks, and the audience starts to throw shit at her. She wants to run offstage, but Rayna tells her to pull it together and then walks out and coerces the audience into showing her a little respect.
Scarlett does better when she's back onstage, but really freaks out after the show. Rayna tells her that if she had a nickel for every time she was booed offstage, she'd actually be able to buy out Highway 65 from Edgehill. The moral of the story is: toughen up. They bond over their mutual dislike of Jeff and Scarlett vows to do better, though Deacon isn't so sure that she's really ready for all this and tells Rayna as much. Jeff, meanwhile, is skulking about at the concert, telling Rayna that he needs to make some damn money for Edgehill, which is why he seized her masters. He shows her some truly hideous cover art for her album, which kicks her into high gear on a plot to thwart him. While she's in bed with Luke, she hears a tune wafting up from outside the hotel. Yes, it's Gunnar, who has been trying to write a song that Luke likes to no avail. Scarlett has joined him and thrown him a line that fixes the whole thing. Rayna notes that it would be a good duet and gets one of those, "I've just had another one of my brilliant ideas!" looks in her eyes.
On the night of the tour, Scarlett kills it, even though she's not so sure she's cut out for this madness. Rayna joins Luke onstage for the new duet written by Gunnar (a sight that Deacon has a hard time watching), and it's great and Connie Britton's vocal coach should win twelve Emmys. The crowd goes nuts, and Rayna suggests to Jeff that he release the duet as a digital single -- which will bring him big fourth-quarter profits -- and then give her back her damn masters. He agrees, and they form an uneasy deal. Rayna is then free to bang Luke with a clear mind. She really seems to like him, though I'm not quite sure if I do.
Meanwhile, Olivia Wentworth has shown up to Juliette's hotel room to proposition her into having a threesome, which she claims is per Charlie's suggestion. Juliette is not down with the idea of being a human toy for freaky rich people, and blows off a later dinner with the Wentworths much to Glen's chagrin. She confesses her troubles to friend Avery, whose advice is to stop letting garbage people treat her like garbage, no matter how rich they are. She takes it to heart, shows up to their dinner and tells them that they're sick, narcissistic perverts. She's delighted with the situation, but Charlie looks quite sad, leading one to confirm that Olivia made up the whole threesome thing because she's an evil genius who took a unique approach to confronting her husband's mistress. Later, Charlie shows up on Juliette's door to say he thinks he's falling in love with her. Oy.
All of this action is overshadowed by the fact that Teddy wants to go to a doctor's appointment with Peggy. She puts him off for as long as she can, then goes psycho-in-a-Lifetime-movie on this joint for real. She calls him to say she's cramping and not feeling well, and that the doctor CLOSED EARLY. You know, like doctors do. But she's sure it will pass. Once she gets off the phone, she opens a paper bag that's on her bathroom counter. And you guys, I totally thought a dead fetus was going to be in there. It's actually not much better, as the bag contains a margarine-tub-sized container full of PORK BLOOD. Pork blood!!!! I did not realize this is a thing you can just buy at the store, but apparently it makes a tasty soup. Who knew? It ALSO makes a reasonable looking miscarriage. Teddy comes home to find pork blood in his toilet, and Peggy says she thinks she lost the baby. She cries, saying he only married her because she was pregnant, but he serves her tea and seems committed to her crazy ass. Once she starts storing leftovers in that pork blood container, though, all bets are off.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Way back in I think episode one, Avery bumped into Juliette backstage at the Ryman and she said, "You should try that again sometime." Scarlett slugged him in response. Crazy Peggy learned at the doctor that she lost her baby, but that didn't stop her from pretending to be pregnant so Stupid Teddy would marry her. Deacon was encouraging to Scarlett about her career taking off, and said that doing it with Rayna is a good thing (and he should know). Jeff Fordham sent Gunnar out on the road to write with Luke "Big" Wheeler, and he was in for a big, fated surprise when he saw Scarlett on the tour bus. Rayna told Jeff that she wasn't going to do a comeback album, then made a big deal about a buyout that was squashed when Lamar went to jail and his assets were frozen. And Olivia Wentworth showed up at Juliette's door, told her she knew Juliette was sleeping with Charlie, then asked why she wasn't sleeping with her as well. This is going to end up just like Wild Things, isn't it?
We begin where we left off, just after Olivia has planted a big kiss on Juliette. Juliette wonders what Olivia is doing. Well obviously she's trying to swim in the lady pond with you! Just think of the mature songs that such a dalliance could inspire! Juliette says she doesn't know what Charlie told Olivia, and Olivia says he told her to get to know Juliette better so that maybe…all of them together could…have some fun. And I have to say, I'm not entirely buying Juliette's wide-eyed reaction to this. She sat on Santa Claus's lap. She knows a thing or two about things. In any case, Juliette is incredulous that Olivia is talking about having a threesome, and Olivia adds that sometimes also Charlie just likes to watch. Juliette suggests that Olivia go, and Olivia notes that Charlie must have been wrong about Juliette's level of adventurousness. Juliette argues that she's had a LOT of adventure in her life -- she just doesn't like to share. Olivia not so gently points out that Charlie is HER husband, so technically Juliette is already sharing. She leaves, and Juliette looks quite a bit bewildered. Rich people!
Scarlett and Gunnar then say an awkward hello on the tour bus, and Gunnar explains that he's got a gig writing with Luke. Scarlett's impressed, but after all she's the one with the dedicated bedroom while Gunnar has to jump up into a sardine bunk. The bus is heading to Tampa, and the tour manager tells Scarlett to get some rest since she has a big day ahead -- radio station in the morning, rehearsal, meet and greet, and the gig. Scarlett looks typically terrified, and I'm sure would like nothing more than to snuggle up to Gunnar and giggle guiltily when the rest of the band yells, "Hand check!"
Oh God, and then it's morning and we're in the bedroom with Peggy and Teddy. He holds out a newspaper and says, "Nashville overwhelmingly approves of its new first lady." And this show doesn't really expect us to extend our suspension of disbelief quite that far, does it? Soon that newspaper picture is going to be smeared with PORK BLOOD. Um, spoiler. (But seriously…PORK BLOOD!) Teddy notes that Peggy has a doctor's appointment coming up this week, and she grossly says, "What a good daddy! You remembered." That right there is enough reason to divorce her. The reason Teddy is asking about the appointment is that he wants to come with Peggy. D'oh! She's all, "Oh, um, gosh, well, ergh…it's just a little ole checkup!" But Teddy says he can shift some things around on his busy mayoral schedule (maybe that 3-hour block of Candy Crush Saga playing can be moved) to join her on the hastily made up "Thursday at 1" doctor's appointment. After all, he says, it's important for the three of them. Peggy sits up in bed and looks very serious as she says, "Honey…" The smile on Teddy's face begins to fade and so she adds a hasty, "I'm glad you think so." Well what did the bitch THINK would happen? Even Teddy is not so dumb that he'd buy her special "20-month pregnancy" story.
And then we're at The Expository Hour with Ranya and Tandy -- that magical segment wherein they explain to us (while doing some sort of mundane activity at Rayna's house) exactly how things are working on the time-space continuum and remind us of plot details that we may have forgotten and/or explain away inconvenient things that we may remember. Rayna is packing and Tandy notes that she has a lot of stuff for a weekend on the road in which she's supporting Scarlett. Rayna says she's ALSO spending the weekend with Luke Wheeler. It all feels like everything is happening so fast, Rayna expositories. After all, "all that business with Deacon and Maddie" was JUST last night. But Tandy says it's all going to be fine. She'll be taking care of the girls (per usual, with her lack of any sort of a schedule/life), Scarlett will knock it out of the park, and Rayna will be knocking boots with Luke Wheeler, the "sexiest man in country music." And I'll buy this in the context of a world where Adam Levine has been named the sexiest man alive.
Tandy has gotten no lascivious details about Luke yet, so asks if he's better than Liam. I'll answer that: UM, NO. OBVIOUSLY. And sigh, Liam. Rayna says that Liam is easy and fun and simple and only a special guest star since he's on like three other shows at the same time. Luke, meanwhile, has a recurring role and nothing else to do since Smash has been cancelled. So he feels like someone Rayna could be serious with, though it's of course too early to tell. Tandy pulls a teddy (not a Teddy, thank goodness) out of Rayna's bag and notes that it's all lingerie in there. At least there's not a margarine tub full of PORK BLOOD!
We then cut to Juliette and Glen, who are storming out of a hotel. Her private jet is ready and waiting, though Glen doesn't understand the rush, especially since they're supposed to meet with the Wentworths in half an hour to talk about the music festival. She instructs Glen to tell them that she left town early, and he confirms that Avery is going to be waiting at her place when she gets home. Juliette wants to spend more time on her music, and less on people with expensive hobbies. Glen tells her that the Wentworths are like royalty, and not exactly the kind of people you want to say no to. But Juliette insists that she'll say "screw you" to anybody, though not literally to Olivia.
And then we're in Tampa, where Scarlett is thrilled to see Deacon waiting. He's there to support his niece in her first stadium show, and also to bring her ratty patchwork pillow to her. Now she has something to lay her head upon other than that fucking crocheted hat she insists upon wearing. I want to throw a drink at her already, and she's not even bombing on stage! Deacon notes that Scarlett looks a little, well, terrified, and asks if everything is okay. But before she can answer, Chip the tour manager comes to whisk her away for rehearsal.
Back in Nashville, Rayna is just about to leave for the airport when she gets a surprise visit from the police. The pork theme begins! She thinks it's about Lamar, but nope! They're delivering a court order saying that she's in illegal possession of Edgehill Records property. She needs to hand over her masters or face prosecution. And all that lingerie will not be quite so useful in the clink! Soon Bucky is there, and while Rayna says they'll have to pry the masters out of her cold, jailed, perfectly manicured hands, Bucky notes that bastard Jeff is on a plane to Tampa (to see the Luke Wheeler show, of course). Bucky has been going back and forth with the Edgehill lawyers about this all week, obviously to no avail. One of the police officers is like, "Um, I have actual crime to fight and stuff," and upon threat of arrest Rayna finally opens her safe and hands over some sort of leather satchel. She tells the police officer that he can tell whoever signs for it at Edgehill not to get too attached to it. And won't THEY be surprised when they find that it's full of lingerie? Rayna asks Bucky to book her another flight to Tampa, since she's missed hers. When Bucky asks what she's going to do she says she doesn't know…but she's going to get her record back. Let's hope that the masters don't accidentally get delivered to Avery, who might burn them in a trash can just for old times' sake.
Speaking of Avery, he's at Juliette's where the two of them are writing a song about being haunted by dreams. They're interrupted by Juliette getting a text message from Charlie that says, "Please baby, call me back!" She ignores it, but another message comes in, in which he says he misses her and wants to explain. Avery tells Juliette that if she needs to get back to somebody, they can take a break, but she says she doesn't and dumps the phone in a full glass of water. Avery notes that this is not normal behavior, and asks what's wrong. He reminds her that he's not her hired hand anymore -- he's her friend. And he's thinking that maybe she came home because she needed one. Juliette, who's never had a friend before, gets a really funny look on her face.
Scarlett comes back from her rehearsal, and is surprised when Deacon says that it sounded good. She could only hear drums and bass in her ear monitors, and he tells her that she needs to talk to the monitor guy about it. Scarlett tried but he said there wasn't time since he had to open the doors. (I'm surprised we don't cut to the monitor guy ripping off a Richard Nixon Halloween mask and revealing himself to be Jeff Fordham.) She's obviously quite nervous to be playing in a big stadium that will seat 41,807 people, but Deacon says they're all going to love her -- and none of them more than him. He's proud of Scarlett, and hugs her. She remains understandably terrified.
We then cut to Luke Wheeler, who is working out on the machine that all of the sexiest men alive favor -- the elliptical. Gunnar has just played him a song, but Luke isn't feeling it. He says that the first song Gunnar played, however, could have something if he just put a little more "Wheeler" into it. Gunnar is confused by this, and Luke explains that it needs to fit him and his brand. E.g., more beer and trucks, I think. Maybe a mention of Amurrica? Luke says he's sold 30 million records and had 22 number ones. Gunnar is there to help him write the 23rd. And I am SO confused about Luke Wheeler. Because sometimes I think he's a dick, and then sometimes I don't. He is, right? But kind of sweet with Rayna? I mean he's NO LIAM, don't get me wrong. And he's certainly NO DEACON. But just when I do think I hate him I don't, and vice versa. I DO feel certain that I would not care for his music, though, and also that he's probably a republican. Anyway, please write to me at potesypotes@gmail.com or tweet @traciepotes so we can discuss this very important matter!
As Will sends Gunnar out with instructions to come back with a great hook, Rayna enters. As she passes Gunnar she says, "Who's that?" Indeed I think those two have never met (since Gunnar blew off his audition with Rayna back in the day of dead brother antics), but she recognizes the name and says that Scarlett used to talk about him. Luke kisses Rayna hello, and tells her that though it's only been a day, he missed her. She doesn't respond in kind, but does seem really happy to see him. Then she tells him that she almost didn't make it, given Jeff's shenanigans. She doesn't seem to mind that Luke invited Jeff to the show, given that those two have their own business relationship. Her business relationship with Jeff, however, is STRAINED. Luke kisses Rayna on the neck and tells her that his daddy used to say you catch more flies with honey (than you do with vinegar). This is the exact advice a Poughkeepsie-area cab driver named Tony gave to me many years ago. He had a signed photo of Linda Blair in his cab, and apparently had given HER the very same advice years before that. I am shocked to learn that it's all come full circle and this guy is Luke's dad! If Linda Blair shows up, I will have discovered the meaning of life. Anyway, Rayna asks if Luke really thinks she should be nice to Jeff, and he notes that his dad also said to fight fire with fire.
And then we're backstage with Scarlett pre-show. She has bright pink stripes in her hair (to distract from the scraggliness?) and full makeup, and Jeff approaches her to "wish her luck." She's surprised to see him, but he says he comes to all the big shows. And it doesn't get much bigger than a Luke Wheeler concert! Scarlett notes that it's the biggest crowd she's ever played for, and Jeff digs in, saying that a stadium crowd can be tough and you only get one chance to make a good first impression. The problem with Jeff is that his evildoing is so obvious! Scarlett says that since Rayna signed her, it's her impression she cares most about. And then Jeff mentions the failed buyout, saying that technically Scarlett answers to him. Rayna approaches and Jeff is all, "Go get 'em tiger!" when she's in earshot. Rayna tries the "more flies with honey" approach, in a very southern lady kind of way. She takes Scarlett by the hand and as they walk off Jeff can't resist saying he's surprised to see her there, since he thought she'd be tied up at home. She looks back and says, "I bet you did," and just keeps walking. He sort of smiles, despite himself.
And then it's time for Scarlett to go show the world how amazing she is, and how poorly she lip syncs. Rayna notes that she's shaking like a leaf, and Scarlett says she's okay but nervous. Rayna tells her to take a few deep breaths, and then she heads out on stage in her poufy red skirt. She's all, "Hey Tampa! I'm Scarlett." And then the music starts. Scarlett gets a worried look as she fiddles with her ear monitors. We cut to Rayna, telling Jeff that she wishes he hadn't brought in the lawyers and had kept it just between them. He notes that they're past that point, since she guaranteed him a buyout but failed to deliver. Just like Scarlett, who is struggling on stage. She's vaguely out of sync with the music, then says that she can't hear any vocals in her monitors. Rayna and Gunnar look concerned, and then as a cowboy-hatted beer-swilling big dude in the audience yells, "Get off stage!" Deacon tells him, "Hey -- don't do that." The band stops, Scarlett says that she's lost and her ears aren't working, and then people start chucking drinks at her. And FINE, I feel bad for her. Though it is kind of refreshing to have found an audience that doesn't automatically think she's God's gift and offer her their firstborn or something.
Just as Scarlett starts to scurry off the stage, Rayna grabs a mic and turns her around. She says that if Scarlett doesn't get back on stage now, she never will again. And I DO very much enjoy tough love Rayna. Scarlett says she can't, but Rayna drags her out on stage to lots of fan cheers. Not for Scarlett, obviously, but because everyone loves Rayna. Rayna says that she loves a rowdy crowd, but thinks that the booing is kind of rude. And she wants them to trust her that Scarlett is one of the most talented artists she's seen in a long time. And Luke Wheeler thinks so too, so stuff that in your cowboy hat and stick a miniature American flag in it. She adds the not exactly rousing though literally true line, "This is Scarlett O'Connor, and she's going to play for you, Tampa." Maybe she didn't want to overpromise. The music starts, Rayna gets the crowd to clap along and tells Scarlett to go get 'em, then leaves the stage. And then Scarlett sounds much better, but is still quite deer-in-headlights about it all. Offstage, Jeff gives Rayna a little round of applause, then totally checks her out. She is indeed a foxy and formidable opponent, but I'd say she has her hands full, Fordham.
Back in Nashville, Juliette is spilling the whole Wentworth saga to Avery. The shocking part to her is that Charlie actually got her to believe that he cared. And the secondary shocking part is the threesome proposition from Olivia, which made Juliette feel like she was the flavor of the month. Avery says that he had a similar experience being someone's toy. Not in a threesome, but he did have what you would call a "sugar mama." Ah, Marilyn of "DID YOU SLEEP WITH THAT WOMAN" fame! Juliette cracks up a little, but turns serious as Avery says that she was a manager who seduced him with the whole idea of fame and fortune. She conned him into thinking that he was special to her, he says, but he was just one of many. Juliette says it was different, because Marilyn signed him for a reason -- she saw him as a big star, and not a throwaway. And then Avery tells Juliette that she's not a throwaway either, and doesn't have to let garbage people treat her like garbage -- she needs to stop giving these people all her power. If the whole music thing doesn't work out, Avery would really make an excellent therapist.
Back in Tampa, Scarlett is offstage and raging, right past a couple who is randomly making out. Life on a big tour! Gunnar chases her to tell her she did a great job, but she screams at him to leave her alone. She locks herself in her dressing room and hits the door before seeing that Deacon is in there. He hands over her ratty pillow of comfort as she says that the crowd hated her, and threw things at her. Deacon notes that it's a Luke Wheeler audience, and if she isn't singing about beer or trucks they don't want to hear about it. But Scarlett feels like she let Rayna down, and let Deacon down. He tries to tell her that she's a great singer and performer, but despite appreciating what he's trying to do she asks him to leave her be.
And then Gunnar is back, playing a revised song for Luke as he gets ready. Luke says that the verse is good, but the chorus isn't strong enough. Gunnar says he'll keep working at it, and Luke goes, "Do that. 'Cause when you don't come up with something 40,000 people can sing back at you they're going to sing something else. A song called, 'Boo! Get offstage!'" So THAT is jerky, right? Gunnar says that Scarlett didn't deserve the crowd's ire, because she's talented. Luke says that her uncle Deacon was talented too, adding, "Not everybody makes it, son. As hit performers or songwriters." So, the confusing part is that he's jerky, but also right. And if you're a Luke Wheeler, I feel like you probably HAVE to be some kind of jerk, but maybe underneath you're not. Or ARE you? Ugh, so confusing! And though it's frustrating, I think it's also probably good that we can't figure him out exactly. Nuance and stuff!
Then we're back in Scarlett's dressing room, where she's putting on her old rag dress. Someone enters and she screams to go away, but stops short when she realizes it's Rayna. Scarlett quietly says that she messed up really bad, but Rayna hugs her and says, "Shoot. The only time that you'll ever mess up is if you don't get up, dust yourself off, and go right back on." Scarlett repeats Jeff's warning that you only get one chance to impress a stadium crowd, and Rayna wonders who told her that line of crap. If that were true, she says, she wouldn't have a career. Not only did she get booed so many times, she had people yell, "Show me your boobs" so much you would have though it was a hit damn song. But, says Rayna, you have to be tougher. She reminds Scarlett that she's a great artist, and has a voice to put out there and a gift to give. She can't let anyone stop her from doing that. Scarlett then asks if Rayna tried to buy out "65" from Edgehill. First, maybe learn the name of your own record label. Rayna admits that she is trying, but that shouldn't be a concern of Scarlett's. Scarlett spills that Jeff told her she answers to him and not Rayna, and Rayna explains that she's trying to get them out from under his thumb. Scarlett gets her fiercest rodent face as she says, "I don't like that man." Rayna doesn't either, no surprise, and says he's a bully. And the thing about bullies is, they secretly want to be stopped. They do? Anyway, Rayna tells Scarlett that they can't let him stop them. The moral of this story is: pull yourself together, bitch! God.
And then we get to see Luke Wheeler on stage. Any good will I was feeling toward him evaporates as he poses in the exact stance as a projected image of him, then shouts, "Wheels up, Tampa Florida!" Wheels up?!?!? Fine, he's the worst. Boy, does he play a pretty Gibson SJ-200, though. I had a Pavlovian response where I just drooled a little at the sight of that guitar. Backstage, Rayna asks Jeff if he has a minute then tells him with quite a bit less honey never to tell her artist that she answers to him. Jeff replies that he only told Scarlett the truth since they're both under contract to Edgehill, though Rayna has technically been in breach since day one. Remember when Rayna had the chance to go to that other record label with Ming Na? Because Liam brings only good things, even though he was also scheming in some weird way? Anyway, Rayna wants to know what Jeff's endgame is that could possibly explain all the ways in which he's torturing her. He says, "Profit." Every day in which he doesn't release a Rayna Jaymes record, he loses more and more of that potential profit. They have a limited window in which to capitalize on her near-death heat, and he's not willing to wait while she makes an actually good product. He shows her the key art from his crack marketing campaign that will sell millions. And it's Rayna Jaymes with phoenix wings OF FIRE, rising out of the ashes. It's actually called "Rising Out of the Ashes," and Rayna is properly horrified. Jeff, meanwhile, seems quite proud.
Rayna calls Bucky and tells him that over her dead body is she going to release an album with a marketing campaign based on her dead body. Meanwhile, what is with her brown pants and purple paisley blouse? I've ignored it this far, but can do so no longer. Wardrobe people, you need to start treating Connie Britton right. Bucky says they're fighting it, but from what he hears Jeff is under a lot of pressure to deliver a big quarter. She hangs up as Deacon approaches, and then they kind of talk over each other for a minute, and he tells her to go first. She sweetly and sincerely says that Deacon was great last night (at the Bluebird), and it was special to be there with him and Maddie. Deacon quickly says that it was great having Maddie there, and great having Rayna there, and he's glad she called, and thank you. And it's all awkward and so sweet and true love, etc. Gah.
Then there's an awkward pause, and Deacon says he wants to talk about Scarlett, since he doesn't think she's ready for this. He appreciates what Rayna did for her, but says that this is going to keep happening since Luke Wheeler fans are going to eat her alive every night. He doesn't thinks she should be on the tour. Rayna looks puzzled, and says she couldn't disagree more. Scarlett had one misstep -- her monitors weren't working, she had a little stage fright, but she's going to get over all that. Deacon thinks being treated like that can be damaging to anybody, and especially a young artist. But Rayna quotes Watty (where IS Watty, anyway?), who said that steel is forged in fire. Scarlett wants this, says Rayna, and she's going to toughen up. Then Deacon gets a weird look and says, "Not everybody's as tough as you are." Present company included, I'm guessing. Rayna looks like she isn't sure if she's just been insulted.
Then we're in Dallas, where Juliette crashes an intimate dinner between Charlie and Olivia. He asks what she's doing there and she whips back, "Oh, I have a private jet too." She says that she's stopped by to respond to Olivia's invitation personally, and Charlie looks confused and asks what she's talking about. Because OF COURSE he didn't initiate the threesome request, duh. Olivia tells Charlie that he needs to be more selective and consider the mental health of his mistresses. I would co-sign on that, actually. Juliette used to think that bluebloods like the Wentworths were better than her, but now she realizes that they're all just a bunch of sick, narcissistic perverts. Then Olivia calls Juliette trailer trash, and Juliette gets REALLY close to her, saying she'd rather spend the rest of her life in a double-wide than another minute with a billionaire bitch like Olivia. She calls Charlie empty, then makes her dramatic exit. He wants to go after her, but Olivia stops him, saying, "Let her go."
Gunnar, meanwhile, is still working on that song. He's out in the pool area, and stuck on a terrible line. Scarlett walks out behind him in her macramé cap and puffy boots (reminder: they are in FLORIDA) and makes a suggestion that of course fixes the whole song. She hopes that it makes up for her rudeness backstage. Gunnar says she didn't deserve her treatment on stage, and is impressed that she had the guts to get back out there. She says that you have to, since it's a long tour and you can't let bullies win. Way to internalize the message of your mentor! She's about to leave, but Gunnar asks her to stick around and run through the song with him. She makes him promise not to boo and he reluctantly agrees. They run through, and she manages to harmonize with a chorus that she doesn't even know, because of the special powers her macramé cap gives her.
Inside, Rayna and Luke are making out in bed. He likes where it's all going, but has surmised that her mind is somewhere else. She is of course preoccupied with the battle with Jeff, and while Luke offers to talk to him, Rayna says that it's sweet but she's pretty used to speaking for herself. Jeff finds that pretty damn sexy. See, I kind of like them together. I mean, if we have to have a not-Deacon who isn't Liam, I think he might do. OR WILL HE? Ugh, I just don't know. Anyway, Rayna explains that she's tried being nice to Jeff, and tried standing up to him, all to no avail. Luke asks what Jeff wants, and the answer is of course quarterly sales. But Rayna can't let him release her album, especially with that hideous cover art. Luke asks if she can blame Jeff for wanting to put out the record of his biggest artist. And then a sound floats up from the courtyard. Rayna and Luke walk out onto the balcony and see Scarlett and Gunnar singing the song. Luke says, "I'll be damned. The kid wrote me a hit." Rayna smiles, pauses, and says, "A hit duet." And I have to say that my first thought here was, "Oh my God, Deacon is going to HATE this."
And then at long last we cut back to Peggy, on the phone with Teddy. She says that she's not feeling so good, and is cramping. He asks if she called her doctor, and she says that they closed early. CLOSED EARLY! Do doctors DO that? And if they DO, don't they always have an emergency phone number of some sort? Teddy asks if she thinks she needs to go to the ER, and she says that no, it's probably food poisoning. And furthermore, he doesn't need to cancel the rest of his day and come home, since she's sure it will pass. Well then why did you call, you stupid ho? God, she is the worst. As she tells Teddy she'll be fine, the camera pans back to reveal an ominous brown paper bag on the bathroom counter. And I would have bet like $2 million that there was a dead fetus in there. In that context, what's actually in there seems positively quaint -- a margarine-sized container labeled, "PORK BLOOD." PORK BLOOD! The ingredients are pork blood, water, and salt. And wouldn't you think that pork blood would be salty enough on its own? I want to give one million Emmys to whoever came up with this idea, because it is so weird that I will never get over it (and ESPECIALLY not the moment when Peggy opens the lid and reveals the bloody innards), and that's good TV. We can only be glad that Peggy went for the real pork blood instead of "I Can't Believe It's Not Pork Blood!" because if there's one thing this moment calls for, it's authentic pork blood. Also, some Googling does show that pork blood is in fact a thing that you can just buy, and make soup from. So with the leftovers from her falsified miscarriage, Peggy can make a nice dinner for herself and Teddy. Now that's an efficient shopping list!
And then we're in a much less bloody room with Rayna, Luke, and a bunch of other guys, in which Gunnar has finished playing his song. Luke congratulates him on their first co-write, and Rayna goes, "…Co-write?" Luke claims that he's just messing with him (lies!) and since Rayna has a soft spot for young artists, Gunnar will get sole writing credit on this one. And I actually think it's not all that unusual that a big star like Luke would get writing credit here, and while he may not actually be a talented writer, he seems to be able to recognize and/or shape a hit. Gunnar thanks Rayna, who "lit a fire" under this whole thing, and she thinks they should play it for 40,000 people tonight. Gunnar looks awed as he asks if they want him to play with them and they're like, "Uh, no, we got it." It's cute.
And then Juliette and Avery have a glass of wine as she celebrates the telling-off of the Wentworths. She thanks him for the musical therapy session, then mentions bumping into him back in the day at the Watty White tribute. He's surprised, since she said that she didn't remember that. (You may recall the episode of the "Wrong Song" party, where Avery was all, "Remember me?" and Juliette was like, "No.") Anyway, whether or not she was ever pretending to not remember or really didn't remember, it has come back now. Avery then gets a call from Scarlett, and instead of dumping his phone into a glass of water, he takes it and gives her an encouraging pre-show pep talk. Juliette looks wistful in response.
Then we're with Scarlett, who's about to go on stage. Her ear monitors are fixed, and Rayna says she's going to go out on stage with Scarlett tonight and give her a little introduction. Scarlett asks if it's okay if she does it herself, saying she's got it. Rayna hesitates for a minute before giving an encouraging, "Girl I know you do!" And then Scarlett goes out, much more confident, and gives the audience a little, "Do you wanna hear some good country music?" before prancing around in her red poufy skirt, to a much more receptive crowd. Offstage, Deacon approaches Rayna and tells her she was right. Rayna says, "What?" and Deacon repeats himself. She looks at him and says, "Oh, I heard ya." Aw, those two. Then they look at each other for a while (the eye fucking is returning, I swear!) and Deacon says that sometimes you've just got to fight your way through it. Rayna says that's always been her motto, then takes a look back at Jeff, who is smugly standing there smugly with a smug look. So yeah, Scarlett kills it and her terrible lip syncing is back, much to the crowd's delight.
And then Teddy returns home to find Peggy crouched in the corner of the bathroom and crying. There are drips of PORK BLOOD on the floor leading up to the toilet, and we almost look in the bowl but not quite THANK GOD. Peggy says that she thinks she lost the baby, and Teddy goes to comfort her while she cries some more and tells him that a pot of salty soup is on the stove.
Meanwhile, Scarlett gets congrats from everybody after her set but mostly is happy that the audience didn't boo. Deacon says if she keeps killing it like she did, she'll never get booed again and will be as big as Luke. Luke approaches Scarlett in that fake bad-Luke way of his and says it was a great set, and he knows his crowd can be a little tough. But he's now her biggest fan, to Rayna and Deacon. Tour manager Chip takes Scarlett somewhere, leaving Deacon and Luke to talk. Luke says that years ago he figured it would be the two of them sharing bills together. Deacon quietly says, "Yeah…well," and Luke then says that it's a damn shame about his hand. Deacon says it's a damn shame about a lot of things, Luke says, "Amen to that," and I think that these two have conversations that are even more inscrutable than Rayna and Deacon in the early years. As Luke heads out on stage, Deacon says, "Go fool 'em again," and Luke says he always does. So, Luke is clearly cut from the Will cloth of not-artist, but is he actually nefarious? Or maybe just hollow inside? In any case, wheels up!
Rayna then hustles by Jeff in stage makeup, because she's about to go sing her surprise duet with Luke. The crowd goes wild when she heads onstage, and Luke and Rayna have some gross stagey stage banter which leads into Gunnar's song, "Ball and Chain." And hooray for all the voice coaching that Connie Britton did while Rayna was in a coma! She's really sounding better and better. Rayna and Luke seem to be having a good time with the song, and offstage Gunnar bops along proudly, leading Jeff to say that it looks like he's delivered. Gunnar guesses he did, and asks about the showcase that Jeff promised. Jeff says he's a man of his word, which I take as ominous. Luke and Rayna sing some more, while Deacon looks vaguely uncomfortable offstage. Scarlett asks if he misses that -- "that" being what's happening on stage right now. Deacon says he never really did that, and blew every shot at being a solo artist that he ever got. Scarlett tells him that he ain't dead yet, and Deacon says that he ain't dead, and he ain't done. He is, however, done with watching Luke and Rayna get all close to one another as they sing and says he's going back to the hotel to give Megan a call.
After the show, Luke opens a bottle of champagne and toasts to Rayna, saying he hopes this is just the start of them making great music together. And other things as well. Like pork blood soup! Jeff approaches Rayna to say that the song was amazing, and she's all, "It's called COLLABORATION." Jeff says that the duet could be the biggest song of the year, and Rayna says that if he releases it as a digital single it's going to send his quarterly sales straight to the top, and get rid of his need to release her new album. Well with that strategic thinking it looks like SHE should be the head of a record label! She suggests that they start with him returning her masters, and getting rid of the god-awful cover art. Jeff says he thought she looked pretty hot rising from the ashes. But in any case, they have a deal, and nothing would give Jeff greater pleasure than having a successful partnership with Rayna. She still hates him, though.
Gunnar and Scarlett return to their hotel rooms, congratulating each other. He says that this is just the beginning for her, and she'll be on the road for years and years. She looks sad as she says, "I guess that's the plan." In her room, she calls her mom, saying she pulled it off tonight. She's not sure if she's cut out for this, though, but thinks she has to be. And she cries as she says she misses and loves her mom, then curls up in the fetal position on the bed with her stupid gross pillow. And I mean, is anyone FORCING her to be a country superstar? God. If she doesn't want to, it's REALLY EASY not to be.
And then we're with Luke and Rayna, who are undressing one another in soft light. She says that truthfully, she's never really been a fan of lingerie. This means that she's naked, which is okay with him. They kiss and then she says, "I like being naked with you," which I know is weird but also kind of sweet? I am going to take a controversial stance and say that I don't really mind this line. It's like a thing you say when you're maybe having a feeling but don't want to talk about it as a feeling per se.
While Rayna and Luke bone, Teddy pours Peggy a cup of Yogi Tea Miscarriage Relief (TM). He's thinking he'll take the day and work from home, but she says he doesn't have to do that. She adds that the doctor (WHAT DOCTOR WHEN DID SHE GO TO THE DOCTOR) told her to stay put until the bleeding subsides -- e.g., until the container of pork blood is empty. Teddy says he's sorry, and Peggy cries as she says she knows he only married her because she's pregnant. He tells her not to go there, because even though it's true they're married now and it would look weird for them to get divorced like a day after their wedding.
And then Charlie shows up at Juliette's door. The carbon footprint of these people must be enormous. She tells him that she's not interested in him or Olivia or their freaky lifestyle, and he says he's not interested in being the empty person she accused him of being -- and that he's become. He's not there to apologize or proposition here. He's there to tell her that he thinks he's falling in love with her. Is this more or less shocking than a threesome proposition?
time: The feud between Layla and Juliette heats up, and Teddy and Deacon start having daddy drama.
Potes released her own country-ish album last month. No police came to seize her masters at any point. You can listen/download/buy at traciepotochnik.bandcamp.com.