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As was indicated in the last episode, Juliette and Dante are having ALL the sexytimes. They have to figure out what to do about the Jolene situation, and Juliette is all for keeping quiet about their liaison until MethMom is a little stronger. They nearly get busted by Rayna, who has come to Juliette's room to let her know that she's having a family emergency and will have to head back to Nashville. Juliette is nice in offering her private jet, but unhappy about the prospect of cancelling their New York show.
Deacon, fresh from giving Stacy the key to his house, runs into Avery, who is indeed now a roadie on Juliette's tour. He hears about Lamar and leaves Rayna a message, saying that he's thinking about her. OH MY GOD YOU TWO PLEASE JUST BONE! Seriously, this is getting a little ridiculous. Juliette has decided that she'll just do the whole dang show herself, and wants Deacon to get the band up to speed on ten new songs. Meanwhile, Jolene almost relapsed at the mini-bar and nobody -- including her sober coach -- really gives a rat. She wonders if she and Dante should go home to focus on her therapy. No one else is really into the "and Dante" part of that idea.
The band is not thrilled about having to learn all the new material, and with Dante's encouragement Juliette is being a royal beeyotch. Deacon is not feeling it, and when she announces that Dante's support for all of her ideas, he wonders if she's also getting career advice from the cable guy. BURN. She storms off to go have sex with Dante while the band learns the material, and Avery just happens to catch them in flagrante as he goes onto her bus (with general permission) looking for some equipment. Juliette doesn't see him but Dante does, and he wastes little time in firing Avery. That kid really cannot catch a break these days. Deacon learns about the whole shebang and wonders who Dante is to fire anyone, and the two have a confrontation in which Deacon is pretty disgusted by the situation and calls out Dante on his shadiness. And then of course Jolene eventually makes a play for Dante, because everyone involved in this particular triangle could not be grosser. Juliette sends Jolene back to Nashville to find her own damn apartment, and in the process fires Dante as Jolene's sober coach so he can be her manager.
Rayna has quite a time at the hospital, where Lamar first tells her she's not really needed, then freaks out when he sees a visiting Watty, then has another heart attack. It turns out (as we all called in, like, episode three), that Watty is the man with whom Rayna's mother had an affair. Both Watty and Tandy confirmed that the affair and her mother's intent to leave the marriage basically turned Lamar into the slithering bastard he is today. Rayna volunteers to stay at the hospital overnight with the unconscious Lamar, and calls Deacon with a long message. Deacon listens to it after Juliette's solo show, then has a big blowout with Juliette, and then hightails it back to Nashville to see Rayna. They hug with crackling sexual tension and their distinct mix of requited and unrequited love, and have a long heart to heart about the Watty situation and their younger days. It turns out they've known each other since they were teenagers, which is so sweet I want to die. Then he leaves and she tells him to say hi to Stacy, which, GAH. Rayna talks to the unconscious Lamar about how she wishes he would have told her about her mother, and that they'd not been angry at each other all these years. His eyes open, so: not dead. Meanwhile, Deacon heads back to Stacy's house and tries to muster up some excitement, while Tandy (taking over as CFO of Lamar Evil Industries) discovers Peggy's sinister relationship with the tabloids and wastes no time in telling Teddy about it.
Then there's Scarlett and Gunnar. She's signed the contract, and Gunnar wants them to have a day of celebration. They start with mimosas, have sexytimes, then go to a bar with new hot neighbor Will. Will is both a ladies' man and an attention whore, and pulls Scarlett on stage to sing like everyone always does. Her lip syncing continues to be wretched, but of course everyone loves her. She confesses to Will that she's worried about Gunnar, who has been having nightmares and been unable to write since Jason's death. After putting a drunken Scarlett to bed, Will and Gunnar head out for some fun. And it turns out that Will's idea of fun is to play chicken with an oncoming train. Gunnar is really mad about this until he realizes he wants to do it again. After they flirt with death all night, he finally gets his inspiration back and starts to write again, while Scarlett has her first meeting with Edgehill and gets the royal treatment. Maybe they'll finally get her a decent weave, at least?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously:Gunnar and Scarlett met new hunky neighbor Will, a singer-songwriter from Texas who was all cowboy hat and smiles and impressive biceps. Tandy told Rayna that their mom had a "friend," because Tandy is 1,000 years old on the inside. Do you thinks she calls gay guys "fancy men" too? A down-on-his-luck Avery considered a roadie gig. Juliette set to town seducing Jolene's sober coach, Dante... or was it he who seduced her with his impressive business acumen and nonsensical chants about being zen and mature? Gunnar convinced Scarlett to sign the solo contract with Rayna's new label, and Lamar's last act before having a heart attack was to blackmail Peggy into helping him with the stadium deal. She was the one who sold the story of Teddy and Rayna's divorce to the tabloids, and her disguise while doing so (a beret, natch) was apparently not particularly effective.
We open the show with sexytimes, which in truth is how Nashville should always begin. It's Juliette and Dante, which comes as no surprise. And really, why have a hotel room that nice if you're not going to bone somebody in it? Rayna should take note. Dante totally ruins the mood by saying that they should talk about Jolene. He crossed the line (a couple of lines, I'd say) and before he crosses it again, he wants them to think it through. Neither of them wants this to be a one-time thing, so Dante says he should resign as Jolene's sober companion. What kind of bullshit job is "sober companion," anyway? No offense to the sober companions out there, aside from the ones who are acting wildly inappropriate and banging their clients' daughters and such. Juliette says that Jolene is still fragile, so maybe they should just keep their sheets-rolling on the QT until she's stronger. He says it's not the healthiest way, but doesn't have any better ideas. And so they go back to banging.
But then there's a knock on the door! Dante scurries away like a little guilty field mouse, and Juliette goes to the door to find Rayna. Rayna has interrupted middle of the night sexytimes to tell Juliette that she's had a family emergency -- Lamar's heart attack, of course -- and has to go back to Nashville pronto. Juliette is very gracious in offering up her jet, and asks if Rayna will be back for the show tonight. Rayna says she might have to cancel their sold-out show, which raises Juliette's eyebrows something fierce.
Cut to Teddy, who is totally sleeping in his martial bed with Peggy. They can't stay at her stupid condo, under her hat rack full of berets? He's just had the call that Lamar had a heart attack and Rayna's on the way back to Nashville with the girls. Peggy's ears perk up when she learns that her blackmailer might be knocking on heaven's door, but Teddy doesn't know quite how serious it is. And then of course Peggy has to get her stuff and go, since she's not supposed to be in the house anyway. Iyanla totally needs to fix Peggy's life.
Back at the tree trunk, we learn that a messenger picked up Scarlett's signed contract at what Gunnar characterizes as the crack of dawn and she notes was after 9 AM. Anyway, Gunnar wants to celebrate by having some mimosas and then sexytimes, but Scarlett a) knows that a day beginning with mimosas is enjoyable but completely unproductive; b) says that if she goes back to bed it will be to sleep, since Gunnar was thrashing around all night. She asks if he was having bad dreams about Jason, but he doesn't remember and also just wants to get a hearty early buzz on this 24-hour Scarlett O'Connor Celebration Day.
In New York, Deacon and Stacy and Sue are all schmoopy as she prepares to leave, telling Deacon that it's only a week that they'll be apart and he'll survive. You know, because they're SO IN LOVE. But you take one look at Stacy's limp dishwater locks and know that this romance is not going to last. Even so, Deacon gives her a key to his house. After five years I've barely given my boyfriend a key to my apartment, and we live together. No need to rush, people! As she heads off, Deacon runs into Avery. Yes, he's now a roadie on the tour. Deacon is surprised, since Avery had a record deal and a song on the radio. Avery gives a humble, "Not anymore," and this all means that he's eventually going to get signed to Rayna's label, right? The head roadie calls Avery "whatever your name is," and tells him to take some equipment back inside since there's a good chance that tonight's show's cancelled. This is news to Deacon, who learns from the head roadie guy that Lamar is in the hospital and it's pretty bad.
Cut to the hospital in Nashville, where Rayna tells Tandy that she's hated hospitals ever since their mom died when Rayna was a mere 12 years old. Tandy assures her that Lamar is a fighter and will be fine. And then Lamar's giant lurking business minion -- we'll call him Smithers -- tells Tandy that he wants to give Lamar an update on the stadium deal, but only family is allowed in his room. Tandy thinks this is no time for business, but Smithers reminds her that she's CFO, and Lamar would want her to pay attention to his empire of evildoing during this time of need. Meanwhile, Rayna enters Lamar's room and his eyes open. He immediately asks for Tandy, and then is inappropriately mean (for a person on his deathbed) as he says he must be in pretty bad shape for Rayna to miss a show. She says that the girls were worried, and so she was worried. But she sees that he's all full of piss and vinegar, so must be better. Lamar tells her that there's no need for her to stop what she's doing, and the show must go on. She seems hurt, and Lamar has a look in his eyes like this is some kind of a test or also that he's just being a giant jerk per usual. Rayna says she'll let Tandy know that he wants to see her, tells him to take care and leaves. Did they ever even TRY family therapy?
In New York, Juliette gets her nails done as Emily holds a phone up to her face. Best job ever, right? The upshot of the conversation is that Juliette does NOT want to cancel the show, even if Rayna won't be there. Jolene enters, whining about the fact that they're supposed to have their therapy session now, and Dante is a crack sober coach as he tells her that Juliette is having a major career crisis and so this is no time to bother them with her ever-present NEEDS. And... career crisis? One cancelled show? Emily adds that mani-pedis help Juliette think, which seems about right. Dante thinks that they should be able to get some sort of local act to open, while Juliette wonders if she can just expand her set. Jolene wants to talk to Dante, who studiously ignores her. As Juliette instructs Emily to have Deacon get the band up to speed on her new material, Jolene confesses that she took a bottle of vodka from the honor bar last night. Someone gave her a key to that shit? Well done, sober companion. Terrific oversight. She didn't drink it, but she tried to call Dante and he didn't answer. Gee, I wonder what he was doing. Jolene announces that she needs to focus on her therapy, and think it's time that she -- and Dante! -- go home. Finally she said something that Juliette actually cares about, though her concern obviously has nothing to do with the thought that she might have to go forth without Jolene bugging her about trivial issues such as her own sobriety. And really, couldn't they have gotten Kim Richards to play this role?
After a break, Deacon sits in the hotel restaurant and leaves a message for Rayna. He's sorry to hear about her dad, and notes that it must be bad if she's thinking of cancelling. He adds that the whole thing has to be pretty complex for her, to say the least. Ahhh, when two people really know each other. Compare this to Teddy's reaction, which was basically like, "Yeah, I'll try to get my new ladyfriend out of the bed before you get home." Deacon ends with, "I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you." Leave it to Deacon to make "thinking of you in your time of need" swoon-worthy. As he hangs up, he's approached by the head roadie and Emily, and learns that not only is the show going to go on, but Juliette wants the band to have ten new songs ready by tonight. Deacon is a little taken aback by this, but Juliette sent the message that Deacon already knows the songs, and she's keeping it simple. Meanwhile, head roadie tells Avery that they're missing Juliette's ear monitors. He's to check her hotel suite, the venue, her dressing room, bathroom, and tour bus until he finds them. Avery thought he was just going to be loading stuff, but learns that in fact his job is to do what he's told, which in this case is "find the ears." If he ever gets a break, he's welcome to a slice of humble pie from catering.
Juliette has just come back from a run during which her hunky bodyguard could not keep up. She sees Dante, who has talked Jolene off the ledge and sent her to do some journaling. He knows all the bullshit tricks, right? A part of me thinks that he's not even a sober coach, and it was all just a ploy to get in the very position he's assumed now. That's a pretty stellar long con, if you ask me. Juliette wants Dante to come to rehearsal with her since the band isn't thrilled about adding the new songs. In response to their legit complaint he says, "Too bad, you're the boss," which is JUST the kind of thing she needs to hear, given how meek and mild and unassertive she always is.
Meanwhile, Gunnar and Scarlett have just had a celebratory roll in the hay. She'd like to lounge, but he reminds her it's the 24-hour Scarlett celebration fest. When he asks what she wants to do, she picks up the guitar and says she'd like for them to write together, since they haven't in a while. But he's not in the mood, and besides, that's work and this is a party day. He suggests going to listen to music, and she wonders if he wants to bring Will, since he and Gunnar are well on the bromance path. He agrees, and somewhere there is a thunder crash.
Back in the hospital, Lamar complains that he financed an entire hospital wing and still can't get a damn milkshake when he wants it. He talks to Tandy about the stadium for a bit before she puts a moratorium on business discussion. And then he freaks out and tries to get out of the bed and rip his wires off and stuff. He has very important scheming to do! Tandy doesn't have a tough time pushing him back in bed, and threatens to have someone give him a shot of sedative in the butt if he doesn't behave. She doesn't actually say "in the butt," but I think it's implied.
In New York, Juliette is rehearsing "We Are Water" with the band. I just learned that Patty Griffin wrote that song, and if you imagine her singing it, it becomes much more enjoyable. In fairness to Hayden Panettiere, that is true of just about everything. Juliette still doesn't have her ear monitors, and snaps about that before complaining that her monitors are buzzing and the band sucks on the new material. She tells them that it's only ten songs and isn't that hard, and Deacon suggests taking a break. He tells Juliette that she's asking a lot of the band, and doesn't understand why she doesn't get another act to come in, or cancel just like anyone else would. Juliette wonders why she should have to cancel, and Deacon tells her that expanding her set this much so close to showtime is crazy. Juliette argues that neither she nor Dante think it's crazy, and Deacon is all, "...DANTE?" In one of the best all-time Deacon moments, he suggests also asking her cable guy what he thinks. It's good to know he's not so sincere that he can't whip out the snark when appropriate.
Deacon wonders why Dante has a say, and why Juliette asked him to have a say. She says he's helping her and Deacon wonders why, suggesting that he's being her yes man. Juliette says that Dante helped her to get an endorsement deal that will help her album skyrocket to the top of the charts, and renegotiated her deal so she can get paid as a solo headliner tonight. As you may have guessed, this is not a line of conversation that particularly interests Deacon, and he wonders what any of it has to do with music. Juliette busts out with the fact that Dante has her back, and is obviously the only person around there who does. They are totally screaming at each other at this point. Deacon is obviously offended and says he's sorry she feels that way before turning back to the band. Juliette heads off to her bus to bang Dante until they've got the material together.
Back at the hospital, Watty pays a visit to Rayna. He thought she might need an ear, a shoulder, or both. They talk for a minute about the fact that a heart attack is serious but Lamar is also a tough cookie, and then are interrupted by what can only be categorized as a ruckus. It's Lamar, who has busted free from his bed and is rolling down the hallway all attached to monitors and IV bags. He is NOT looking well. Tandy is there freaking out and Lamar, with his typical charm, threatens to get a nurse fired if she doesn't leave him be. And then Lamar sees Watty and things get exponentially worse. He wonders what the hell Watty is doing. Watty explains that he's not trying to upset Lamar, but Lamar screams at him to get the hell out... and then collapses into a wheelchair. And I know that Watty is naturally a likeable character, but given what we are about to learn, it was a pretty substantial dick move to show up at the hospital like that. If you're that concerned about Rayna, send a text!
Meanwhile, Avery is still looking for Juliette's ear monitor. He warily approaches her bus, gives a knock, and when he gets no answer heads inside. He starts poking around, looking more like a petty thief than anything. As he heads toward the back of the bus, he runs into the specter of Juliette and Dante boning. Juliette has her (naked) back toward Avery so doesn't see him, but Dante makes eye contact just before Avery rushes out. Just when you thought Avery's life couldn't get more sad and awkward!
Back in Nashville, Gunnar, Scarlett and Will are in a bar, and she happens to be the only one getting wasted. Gunnar theorizes that Will stays sober to pick up the ladies, before revealing that Will has 2,000 numbers in his little black book. Will corrects him, saying that it's actually 1,900. I mean, he DOES have a strong jaw. Scarlett says that's icky. But not as icky as my guess that Texas Will actually killed Jason! Because: Texas. He heads off to show his pickup skills on a redhead, as Scarlett notes that Will is likeable but perhaps not a good influence. And then it turns out that the redhead was only a detour to the stage. Will takes the mic and announces that he's there to celebrate Scarlett's record deal with Rayna Jaymes. He does his best karaoke host impression as he calls Scarlett to the stage to sing a number. Gunnar kind of shoves her in that direction, and she invites him up on stage as well. He says he's good, but Will is more than willing to help out. And how generous of him to propose a duet! They sing "Accidental Racist," and the whole crowd is just bawling and bawling by the end and looking around for a person of color to hug. They finally spot Cole, and he's like, "I may have let bygones be bygones with Teddy Conrad, but this is a whole different thing. And stop calling me a newfangled Django, please." And Peggy Kenter Williams-Paisley shows up for the duration, like a beret-wearing elephant in the corner of the south, just to prove she's not embarrassed. No, wait, that was just a dream I had. Will and Scarlett actually sing "You Ain't Dolly (And You Ain't Porter)," which is unassailable. In his second episode and first song, Will is already a way better lip-syncer than Scarlett. So is his cowboy hat!
Post-bus-banging, Avery approaches Juliette to let her know he found her ear monitors in her wardrobe rack. She vaguely recognizes him, and he simply says that Nashville is a small place. This is a far cry from the day when he tried to chat her up with news of his radio single! Dante hangs back to tell Avery that he's FIRED, ostensibly for not knocking loud enough upon entering the tour bus, but really because he caught them in flagrante. I never thought I'd say this, but... poor Avery!
At the hospital, Rayna apologizes to Watty for Lamar's behavior, saying that he might be delirious because of the meds. But Watty knows what this is about, and tells Rayna his deep, dark secret -- he was her mother's "friend." We all called this ages ago, right? Is he also Rayna's real father, so we can play out a "sins of the mother" scenario? Rayna has to sit down, and wonders if this is why Watty helped her with her career. He says that was because of her talent, though I'm sure the fact that she was the daughter of his illicit love didn't hurt matters. Watty tells Rayna that both he and Lamar loved her mother. She was young, impulsive and beautiful. But trying to hold onto her was like trying to hold onto a butterfly. And wow, that sure sounded corny. But Watty continues. Lamar knew the butterfly scenario, but never heard the old adage about if you love something set it free, and so he tried to hold onto Rayna's mom and then, like, broke her antennas or something? I don't know. The night that she crashed her car and died, her bags were packed. Oooh, do you think Lamar actually killed her somehow? Cut the brakes, maybe? In any case, Watty tells Rayna that her mom was desperate to break free and... leave her cocoon or whatever. And now I just pictured Lamar running around with a butterfly net and it was really weird and uncomfortable for me.
Back at the honky tonk, Scarlett tells Will that she's really worried about Gunnar, who doesn't sleep and hasn't written music since Jason died. Except for that time in the backyard with Will. Scarlett's worried about what will happen to Gunnar if she has to go on the road with the new record deal. Will seems to be more interested in Scarlett's impending fame than Gunnar's current sadness, and wants to snap a picture with her. What is this guy's angle, exactly? Fame-whoredom? Gunnar comes by and Scarlett asks him to take a picture of all three of them since he has long arms. Well, at least he's good for something. Scarlett has also gotten a voicemail from Bucky, leading Will to say, "That's a number I wouldn't mind getting." See? Sleazy. Anyway, it turns out that Rayna is in town and wants to meet with Scarlett tomorrow. And with that it's time to take drunkerstein Scarlett back to the tree trunk and put her in her acorn bed.
Rayna approaches Tandy in Lamar's room, and wants to talk to her about the Watty situation. But then some machines start beeping and a team of doctors and nurses rush in. Tandy speculates that Lamar is having another heart attack. This is why people need to just calm down a little and stay in their hospital beds. At least Powers Booth's naked chest gets more screen time, am I right, ladies?
Back on tour, Deacon runs into Avery, who tells him that he already got the boot. Deacon figures he must have done something to get fired, but Avery says that all he did was see something -- namely, Juliette and "that guy she hangs around with" in a compromising position. When Deacon realizes that it was Dante who fired Avery, he tells Avery to get back on the bus. And then it's time for the Deacon/Dante showdown we've all been waiting for! He storms into Dante's office (yes, he appears to have an office now) and wonders who gave him the authority to fire roadies. Dante wonders why that's Deacon's concern, and Deacon in turn wonders how the hell it's Dante's concern. Deacon says that Avery hasn't done a damn thing wrong, but Dante tells him it's not his call, since he's the bandleader. Deacon notes that Dante is supposed to be the damn sober companion to Juliette's mother (you know he's serious because he's saying "damn" a lot), and doesn't remember the part of the program where you screw around with your client's daughter. He emphatically states that it's wrong on so many levels. Dante claims that unlike Deacon, he's looking out for Juliette's best interest. Deacon thinks that's an interesting euphemism, and Dante pegs it as a pot/kettle situation, given that sleeping with Juliette when she was at "her most vulnerable" (she was?) and then accepting a $50,000 guitar as a gift doesn't reek of spectacular ethics. Deacon is surprised that Juliette told all this to Dante, but Dante says that she trusts him. Deacon gets in his face with an ominous, "I don't," and tells him that Avery is back on this tour until Juliette says otherwise. He instructs Dante not to touch him or talk to him. And isn't Deacon too old to be dealing with this shit? No wonder he wants to get off the road.
Sober coach Dante finally sees fit to check on Jolene, who is finished with her assignment of journaling in the green room. In fact, she says she's climbing the walls because he said he was going to be right back. Jolene wants to go home, ASAP. Dante tells her this isn't about drugs or alcohol, but about Juliette, adding that Jolene's jealous that he's been spending time with her and helping her with her career (among other things). In response to Dante saying that she needs to work through this and not just run away, Jolene asks him when their last therapy session was. He can't answer. She has reached some clarity around the fact that neither Juliette nor Dante seem all that interested in helping her. Dante tells her that he does care about her, and that she's important to him. And, like daughter like mother, Jolene sees this positive affirmation as a cue to ask him to show her that he cares and plant a gross kiss on him. It's not real affection unless you're having sex with someone! Juliette enters, fresh from getting some hair extensions clipped in, sees them, and yells, "You are disgusting." It's not clear who she's talking to, but I'd say either Dante or Jolene would be an appropriate target.
Jolene and Dante chase down Juliette, with Jolene saying that she has feelings for Dante and thinks they're reciprocated. Juliette a) thinks she's delusional; b) says Dante is there as her sober coach and not her plaything. But Jolene notes that Juliette may have brought Dante on tour to help her, but she's stolen him. Then Jolene sees Juliette and Dante grab hands and instantly assesses that they're sleeping together. NOW who's disgusting, she asks? The answer: all of you. And also Peggy, just because.
Back at the tree trunk, Scarlett is passed out cold, leaving Will and Gunnar time to develop their bromance. Gunnar isn't in the mood to make music, and explains that he's been a little numb (about everything but Scarlett) since Jason died. And so Will thinks it's time for them to go out and have a little more fun. Gunnar says he's not into chasing skirts, but Will has something else in mind. And you know, that cowboy hat HAS been reminding me of Brokeback Mountain ever since Will came on the scene.
Meanwhile, Teddy and the girls (well, the girls under Teddy's direction) are making get well cards for Lamar while Rayna's at the hospital. He gets a call, and of course it's from fucking Peggy, who sounds frantic and is wandering around the streets looking like a lunatic. She tells Teddy that she's here for him and cares about him so much, reiterating that it's important for him to know that. She says that she loves him, and he subtly tells her that he feels the same, while also getting a tiny look of recognition that he's been banging a whack job all this time. The beret didn't tip you off to that, dude?
Back at the hospital, a doctor tells Tandy and Rayna that Lamar's bypass surgery went well, but there were complications in the form of severe hemorrhaging. He'll be on close watch for the 24 hours, and unconscious for some time. The doctor suggests that they go home to get some rest, and Rayna volunteers to stay at the hospital so Tandy can go home for the night. As Tandy prepares to leave, Rayna asks if she knew that Watty was the man with whom their mother had an affair. Tandy did, and says she didn't know how to tell Rayna something like that. When Rayna asks what Tandy remembers about their mom, Tandy says she was a lot like Rayna -- that's why Lamar never said anything about it, no matter how much the affair hurt or changed him. He worshipped their mother, and her betrayal screwed him up but good. So, it may be three sizes too small, but Lamar does indeed have a heart. I still don't buy the general logic that being severely hurt entitles you to be a giant dick for the 40 years, though. Anyway! On to the important stuff. Rayna calls Deacon and gets his voicemail, and though we only see her greeting, it's the vulnerable voice that lets us know good things are about to happen.
And then we're with Gunnar and Will. They're in Will's truck, parked by the train tracks. Gunnar asks what they're doing. What would you give for Will to yell, "BJs, obvi!" But actually, he says that the only way to get over death is to tempt it a little. And then he puts on the gas, heading straight for the tracks as an oncoming train approaches. Gunnar is all like, "HA HA," until he starts screaming for Will to stop the car. But Will has a crazy look in his eyes that is only enhanced by his strong jawline. They narrowly cross the tracks before the train hits them. Will lets out a big whoop, but Gunnar is ready to beat his ass for such stupidity. Now THAT is the right instinct. He yells that they should be dead, and Will yells, "But we're not!" And then they start making out furiously. Or, rather, they WANT to, but the way it's manifested is in Gunnar asking if Will wants to go again. This is SO Bad Idea Bears.
And then were on stage with Juliette in her extended set. It's a slinky, sexy kind of number and when she approaches Deacon to do the lead singer/guitarist chemistry things, he won't even look at her. COLD, DUDE. After the show, Deacon listens to Rayna's message. In it she says it was a tough day and sounds quite sad, ending by saying that she wanted to call him to thank him for calling her. Deacon hangs up and looks at the phone for a moment like he wishes he could bury his face in its perfect red hair. And then Juliette approaches, asking what the hell was up with his behavior on stage. He wastes no time in telling her that if they have issues to talk with him directly, as he doesn't need her "boy toy shrink" knowing all of his business. But she thinks his ignoring her on stage has less to do with something that was shared in a family therapy session (and really, doesn't the fact that Dante revealed something she shared in therapy throw off a little bit of an alarm?) and more with the fact that Deacon is no longer her go-to guy. Oh, as if Deacon really gives a shit. In fact, he barely wants to be her friend, and/or employee. He lays into Juliette for a) letting Dante run around and fire people for no reason; b) torturing the band with her new songs; c) playing shows that should be cancelled. It's this last one that gets her, and she wonders why she should have to cancel her show. Deacon yells that that's what you do when there's a family emergency. Juliette comes back with, "Rayna is not my family. And let me tell you something, she ain't yours either." Deacon walks a few steps by her before turning around and saying, "Yes she is." OMG SWOOOOOOOOON! This Lamar heart attack is really the best thing that could have happened for everybody. A++.
And then we cut to the tree trunk, where Gunnar is strumming his guitar again. A hungover Scarlett wakes up, and hopes that her scheduled meeting with Rayna today was just a dream. She theorizes that she might throw up and pass out at the same time, which would be a great second impression. But she's happy to see Gunnar writing. When Scarlett asks what he did after putting her to bed, Gunnar says that he and Will were out just "talking." Mmmmhmmmm. Connecting his time with Will to his rekindled interest in writing, Scarlett says that maybe Will isn't such a bad influence after all. We'll see what she thinks after she a) catches them in bed together; or b) finds Gunnar flattened like Wile E. Coyote on the train tracks.
It's morning in New York, and Dante goes to Juliette's room. Jolene isn't talking to him, and Juliette isn't talking to Jolene. He says he didn't mean to drive a wedge between the two of them, and she assures him it was already there. And Juliette acknowledges that Dante isn't the first of her boyfriends with whom Jolene has tried to make a move. So, it's all grosser than we thought, hooray.
Back in Nashville, Tandy is in Lamar's office, when Smithers approaches. They talk about Lamar's toughness and likely recovery before Tandy tells Smithers that she'll need to know about every aspect of her father's life. Smithers says she already does, but Tandy is specifically wondering why Lamar is getting phone calls from Peggy. D'oh!
And THEN it all happens! Deacon arrives at the hospital. Rayna has fallen asleep by a chair in Lamar's room, and Deacon comes and kneels down beside her. He puts his hand on her arm gently and she wakes up, immediately grabbing his hand in her own. And then they hug. But not just a, "Hey, thanks for coming," hug. More like a, "TRUE LOVE ALWAYS OMG!!!" hug. Sigh. The moment his face is enveloped by her hair, Stacy doesn't stand a chance. As a side note, this episode has highlighted Charles Esten's special skill in conveying "I am feeling complicated emotions right now" using only two-thirds of his face while looking at the camera over a lady's shoulder. Also: Rayna's manicure.
After a break, Rayna and Deacon are in their own chairs and not touching. Well, not touching PHYSICALLY. But she's clearly just told him what she learned about Watty and her mother. She feels like she knows her mother better, and like she didn't know her father at all. Deacon thinks it makes sense, as Rayna was only twelve when her mother died (really? I don't think we'd heard that at all this episode), and things look different in the eyes of a twelve-year-old. Or, Rayna says, in the eyes of a sixteen-year-old getting kicked out of the house. Deacon says he remembers that, and I almost die at the fact that these two have known each other since they were teenagers. The kicking-out apparently happened in tandem with Watty getting Rayna her first gig, and now she understands why Lamar was so mad. Deacon recalls that Lamar said she could stay in his house, but had to live under his rules. And that wasn't going to happen. So Rayna left, a trait that she apparently inherited from her mom. Rayna admits that she did have a mouth on her, Deacon says some things never change, she playfully slaps him on his arm and tells him to shut up, and OMG JUST DO IT ALREADY YOU TWO! On Lamar's unconscious body! Just pull the curtain shut! No, that would be a Juliette move. Rayna reaches out to Deacon and thanks him for coming. And then he says, "I just heard something, you know, in your voice in that message, that just... sounded like you needed... me." SWOON. That "me" was just perfect. If this moment doesn't make you Team Raycon, you are DEAD INSIDE, I say! Deacon gets up to go, and Rayna tells him to say hi to Stacy. He has a look on his face like, "Who?" Yeah.
At Edgehill Records, Rayna isn't there to welcome Scarlett to the fold, but Bucky escorts her to a little welcome party, and let her know that the label has already started talking about producers and tours. Scarlett accepts a glass of champagne from Marshall, which she chokes down like a true star. Meanwhile, Gunnar is at the publishing house, strumming and writing a sad song, as he is wont to do. Jeannie says it's nice to see him back, and what he's working on sounds promising. Not a big label celebration gathering, but it's a nice moment.
Back in the hospital, Rayna puts her perfectly manicured hand on Lamar's unconscious one. She says that he should have told her about "all this" instead of being angry with her all these years. Now she realizes he was mad at her mother. She doesn't blame him for that, but feels like they missed their life together. And then Lamar opens his eyes. Aw, his medical emergency brought about so much personal joy for me that I hoped he would stay out for at least a few more weeks.
What is also barely conscious is Deacon's feelings for Stacy. He shows up at her house. When she asks what he's doing there he says that they had a travel day. She instantly interrupts with, "And you missed me!" and gives him a big kiss and hug. He says, "Yeah, I did," with a different kind of over-the-lady's-shoulder complicated look. Her hair is so thin we can actually see his whole face, which is an omen of doom if I've ever seen one.
In New York, Juliette tells Jolene that boundaries have always been a problem for them, so from now on they're going to be a little clearer and figure out what works best for both of them. Emily is going to take Jolene back to Nashville, and find her a nice apartment and a new sober companion -- female, this time. After shows, Juliette will come home and spend time with her. Jolene wonders if Juliette fired Dante. As Jolene's sober companion, yes. But she also hired him as her manager because: good decisions. Iyanla actually would have a LOT of lives to fix if she came to Nashville.
Tandy then shows up at Teddy's office with the news that his lady love was the one who leaked the divorce story to the tabloids. Tandy spits out, "She was the leak, Teddy. Your GIRLFRIEND." Well, way to ruin the baseball stadium deal! Did Smithers not even tell her about Peggy's scheming hand in all that? Or maybe Tandy doesn't even care. Anyway, suck it, Teddy!
And then we don't even get a preview! Arrrrrghhhhh! PS: ABC please do not cancel this show.