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In nothing-new news, Juliette still wants Deacon on her tour (and in her tour bus bed) something fierce. Because she's never heard that metaphor about the bird and the cage and how if it flies away it was never yours, she also wants him to sign an exclusive contract. For sex slavery. And bitchin' guitar solos. And sensitive folky songwriting. She gets him to come into the studio to record "Undermine," and then after sharing a little bit of her rough and tumble past, she gets him to bang her. She brings up the night at the Bluebird and how hurt she was that Deacon brought Rayna on stage to sing instead of her. She wants him to think of her in the same league as Rayna and, as you may have heard, wants him to go on tour with her. In his state of post-coital bliss, Deacon actually seems to be considering it.
Meanwhile, while he is in his sex haze, Deacon has no idea of all the drama that is happening with Juliette's MethMom! First she showed up at the label, demanding information as to Juliette's whereabouts and also probably her bank routing number. The label gave her $100 just to leave. Given her scary methy-ness, I probably would have kicked in an extra $50. Then she shows up at Juliette's gate and pretty much bugs Juliette to take her in since her partner in meth-ness left and took all of her alleged "money." She had to hitchhike all the way there and how she wound up on this show and not Law and Order: SVU is anybody's guess. Juliette tearfully turns her away and has security drag her off and by the time she gets back to the house puts on a big smile to have coffee with Deacon. The most scandalous aspect of this whole thing is that MethMom's name is Jolene! The mere association of angel-brought-to-earth Dolly Parton with any type of methface is unforgivable, and has brought my grade of this show down to an A-.
And then there's Rayna. She's feeling super weird around Deacon after their hot duet at the Bluebird, and is clearly reluctant to sing their more intimate songs for the tour. The person she should be feeling weird around, however, is Teddy, because they're now basically totally broke due to his shady business dealings and campaign costs. Bucky suggests that Rayna reconsider the tour with Juliette, and her accountant recommends borrowing money from Lamar, neither of which is very appealing for obvious reasons. Lamar nevertheless sends her a $500,000 check with all sorts of stipulations that would basically force her into retirement. She wonders why he's so intent on her giving up her career and eventually learns from her sister that their mom had a long-term affair with a singer-songwriter. So, Lamar's got a complex with music people. You'd think might have considered moving out of Nashville at some point. Rayna confronts him about this and tries to sympathize with his hurt, but Lamar just gives her grief about how she has the same disregard for marriage as her mother. In turn, Rayna points out that obvious fact that her mother probably cheated because Lamar is such a dick all the time. She refuses to take a penny from him.
In related news about Rayna's finances, Teddy goes to the credit union to try to get a loan against their house, but reconsiders when he learns that the credit union is being audited. The flashback to him burning those mysterious papers is implied. And Teddy and Rayna's girls sing a Juliette Barnes song at their talent show! They are so awesome that Rayna doesn't even mind the material.
Rayna finally has a really, really confusing talk with Deacon that seems to indicate A) she thinks she should let him go; B) she doesn't want to let him go; C) she might be letting him go anyway; D) or maybe not. Seriously, I have no idea and I watched it three times. He gets a weird look and leaves while she cries. Are they still going on tour together? What is even happening? You'd think this maybe-break-up would send Deacon running to Juliette, but instead he definitively turns down her exclusive contract. I think it's because he really doesn't want to be her boyfriend. Good call, and he hasn't even met the in-laws yet!
And speaking of the in-laws, Jolene (Jolene, Jolene, Jolene) got picked up downtown by the bus depot (of course) with some oxy (of course). Juliette's manager points out that she'll be easier to handle in Juliette's house than out on the street, so she moves in. This plus the Deacon rejection drives Juliette to go to the store and buy a bunch of chips and cheese in a jar. While she's there, she decides to shoplift some nail polish, in full view of fans with their video-enabled smart phones. So, that should go well.
And in the obligatory Gunnar and Scarlett subplot, they head to the recording studio with Watty and Scarlett totally chokes. Watty suggests finding another woman to sing on the demo. Gunnar imparts this information to Avery and says that Scarlett's fears that Avery will leave her if she is successful might be to blame. And THEN Avery becomes a good boyfriend for a minute, encouraging Scarlett and saying that he'd be happy to go to the studio and support her as she records. But it turns out he secretly just wants to network with Watty White! Smart kid.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: Watty came up with the idea for Rayna and Deacon to do an intimate duo tour, which everyone but Teddy thought was brilliant. He also offered to cut a demo for Scarlett and Gunnar, tentatively titled, "Songs from Giant Cheekbone Holler." Juliette wanted Deacon to both tour and sex with her, but found herself quite frustrated by the fact that he's still so hung up on Rayna. And then everyone's feelings about everything went into overdrive when Rayna and Deacon sang a steamy number at the Bluebird and even engaged in a little bit of hand-holding. Hand-holding is the gateway drug to rekindled romance!
We enter with a little toe-tapping number known as "Telescope" by Juliette Barnes. Whatever, people, that is a good song! Juliette's wrapping up a photo shoot, and her smile soon fades as she gets to engage in her true passion -- berating her manager. She asks what's happening with getting Deacon on her tour. Um, she might want to, say, try asking while she's blowing him. Just a thought! The manager -- whose name I finally have learned is Glenn -- says that Deacon and Rayna all but launched their tour at the Bluebird, and it's not going to happen. But Juliette wants him. And not only does she want him, she wants him under contract. And not only does she want him under contract, she wants him under exclusive contract. Wow, what a great way to get a boyfriend! Glenn says he'll make the offer.
But! Glenn has other important business to discuss. Juliette's regrettable MethMom showed up at the label looking for Juliette's address and phone number. Nobody gave her any information, but they did give her $100 to leave. Juliette is furious enough to get out of her chair and says that her mother is a drug addict, and no one can give her anything. EVER. Juliette reminds Glenn that he is her manager, and now has a few things to manage. I have a feeling that one of those things should be "expectations."
We then cut to Rayna's mansion, where Rayna is making breakfast for the kids. She yells at Maddie -- who is in fact the older one and possibly Deacon's love child -- that her breakfast is getting cold. Little Daphne points out that it's yogurt, and thus is supposed to be cold, and Rayna is forced to make the correction that Maddie's breakfast is getting warm. As Teddy talks about not being able to find his horseshoe tie for his meeting with someone named Joe, Maddie rushes down in a panic about not being able to figure out what to wear for the school talent show. Daphne sasses that she told Maddie not to waste her allowance on jeggings. I think she's maybe the Milania of this show. Maddie wants to go to the mall, since a seventh grader (whose name I think is also Rayna?) told her to stop dressing like a sixth grader. In seventh grade, apparently, you show belly and side boob. Rayna asks what the hell she just said, and Daphne pipes up with, "That's a dollar!" This is like the cutest family scene of all time. In any case, it's time for school, and as Teddy opens the fridge door we see that there is an enormous whole watermelon in there. Given Rayna's aptitude in the kitchen, I fear for that watermelon.
Meanwhile, we learn that Juliette prefers Kraft singles to real cheese... That's both literal and a metaphor, and also probably the result of being raised by a meth-addicted mom. Speaking of, MethMom is lurking around the corner! Glenn rushes to try and head her off before she reaches Juliette, and we learn that her name is Jolene. Jolene! Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene! I feel like this show should have myriad tributes to Dolly Parton, and this is NOT one of them. Jolene seems maybe slightly less methy as she yells to Juliette that she wants to tell her things that have been going on. Juliette would rather not know, and instead gets into her car and is driven off, looking awfully disturbed. Poor Glenn, man. Hell hath no fury like a MethMom scorned.
Some time later, Juliette is engaged in one of her favorite pastimes -- admiring photos of herself -- while Randy, the producer guy who she slept with before she nabbed Deacon, tells her that she has 14 solid tracks but needs another six. Is she releasing a double album? Or is this for her tour? Juliette's response has to do with her photos, and she brags that she looks pretty good. Her assistant chimes in with, "Yeah, those whitening strips really worked." Ha! Being a personal assistant must force you to really refine the art of passive aggression. Glenn talks about security being upped, then delivers the news that Deacon will not sign an exclusive contract. But Juliette is not one to take no for an answer and, asking why she pays Glenn if she has to do everything herself, leaves a message for Deacon telling him that they're recording "Undermine" today, and if he wants to be a part of it he should get his butt to the studio. The recording part seems to be news to everybody. The fact that Juliette can be a nasty troll is not.
Cut to the recording studio, where Scarlett is in awe of the fact that Joe Cocker, Dolly Parton and Willie Nelson have all recorded right where she is standing. It's a bit odd that she led with Joe Cocker, right? Gunnar looks thrilled to be there, though Scarlett is "shaking like a leaf on a tree." Watty cues the music for "If I Didn't Know Better," and Scarlett forgets where to come in. Shouldn't there be a team of little birds or gnomes or something to help her out with this?
Meanwhile, Bucky is sitting with Rayna and Deacon and going over their tour schedule. There are a lot of cities on the list, and Bucky notes that it will be a lot of overnights (overnights!), a long time away from home, and a long time for Rayna to be away from the girls. On the upside, though, they have a new bus with a nice big master suite (and heart-shaped bed, maybe?) and decent bunks, ostensibly for Deacon. And really, I expect every country music tour bus to look like Dolly Parton's, which I know is an impossibly high standard. After Bucky leaves, Deacon starts going through set list ideas, and suggests starting off with stripped down versions of their early songs. You know, the songs about how much they loved each other and all the good sexy times they had and soulmates and stuff. Rayna in turn suggests perhaps starting with some of the really big hits, which I imagine are much less intimate. Deacon reminds her that they won't have a band or backup singers, so will probably be better off doing things like they did the other night at the Bluebird. You know, things that make them surface latent feelings and fall in love with each other all over again. Deacon asks if Rayna is freaking out. The answer is obviously yes, but instead of saying that, Rayna asks for a minute alone. She is trying very hard not to cheat on her husband here, which I guess is an upstanding thing.
Back at the recording studio, Scarlett is being dumb again. Just, always. Though I guess modern recording technology must be hard to deal with for someone who's never experienced electricity before! "Well, Mister Whiiite, I's just used to harmonizin' with the li'l ole' chiiipmuuuunks from under my mossy rooooock." Watty and Gunnar are both supportive, but after another biffed attempt Watty suggests they stop for the day. Scarlett apologizes profusely, and Watty pulls Gunnar aside for a talk.
Meanwhile, Rayna and her assistant are going through her fabulous wardrobe while her girls dance around and sing to George Jones on the radio. Oh my God, will Rayna adopt me? I mean, except for the part where she breaks up our happy family with her forthcoming infidelity. As the radio announcer starts talking about Rayna and Deacon's number at the Bluebird and introduces "No One Will Ever Love You," Rayna turns the radio off. Maddie says that she likes that song. Rayna does too. But: feelings. The assistant leaves and comes back with a delivery for Rayna -- a $500,000 check from Lamar. When Daphne asks what's wrong, Rayna says, "It's just your paw-paw being your paw-paw." And, awww, even evil guys have cute grandpa names.
Back at the OTHER recording studio, Juliette is doing her vocal take for "Undermine." As the door opens she yells that they're in the middle of something, until she realizes it's Deacon. Then she's all smiles and sweetness and flirting. T minus three minutes until they're in bed together.
And then, alas, we go back to Scarlett and Gunnar. He's running after her in the parking lot, and she's despondent about the fact that she blew it. But it turns out that Watty is still going to give their stuff to a publisher, after he finds someone else to sing on the demo with Gunnar. This gives Scarlett a sad. I mean, she sewed a new dress out of her grandma's tablecloths and ever'thang. You can tell that Gunnar wants Scarlett to buck up, get it together, and sing, but Scarlett eventually says that this will probably be better for her and Avery, and Gunnar can just tell her if she needs to do anything. I sure hope Scarlett goes through a gradual process of de-bumpkin-ization soon, because it's getting a little hard to take. Or else maybe the season finale will be entitled, "Scarlett's IQ Test."
Back at the Jaymes/Conrad manse, Rayna asks Teddy if he asked for a loan from Lamar. He didn't, but says that Lamar knows their situation since Teddy had to disclose his finances for the campaign. It turns out that the check came with a whole lot of stipulations for Rayna. Such as: she can't release a new record unless it's a best of; she can't tour until after Teddy's election; if he wins she can't tour until the second half of his term; unless he's reelected, in which case her tour has to be limited to no more than fifteen venues. Rayna is clearly furious, and Teddy calmly tells her that it's not feasible and to tear up the check. After a pause, Rayna suggests that Teddy talk to someone named Billy about getting a loan against the house. After all, Teddy was on the board of the Credit Union for years, and it's not like he had suspicious papers that was burning just the other night or anything. Rayna offers to go and talk to Billy, too, but Teddy says he'll handle it. I mean, he's proven himself so adept at navigating tricky financial situations in the past, after all.
We then cut to Deacon and Juliette harmonizing on "Undermine." I really do love this song, though I think the simple acoustic treatment suits it much better than the full production they do here. And we've already discussed Juliette's whiny vocals. But it's a great song, and Randy and the others say it's killer. Juliette agrees, but then asks for a few minutes alone... with Deacon. She's acting all sad, which prompts Deacon to ask if she's okay. She says yes but looks like no, and so Deacon asks who the last verse of the song is about. Juliette says "no one," but eventually admits it's about her mom, who loved country music and raised her on all the greats -- Patsy Cline, the Carter Sisters, Kitty Wells and (she begrudgingly admits upon prompting) Rayna Jaymes. Though, Juliette says, she never much related to someone who had her career handed to her on a silver platter. What is she, like 23? Oh, the struggle.
Deacon says that Rayna took her knocks, and Juliette argues that she'd like some knocks of the variety that one gets in a Belle Meade mansion. Maybe if she'd had those kind of knocks, she could appreciate real cheese. Though Deacon tries to ask more about Juliette's mom, she deflects the question and asks what he's writing about. She guesses that it starts with a "Ra" and ends with an "Ayna," but Deacon says that this one is just about him. And then they go to have sex.
And then it's time for the school talent show! Rayna obligingly autographs a CD as Teddy gets a text that Billy can meet with him. But everything is trumped by Lamar, who shows up with two giant bouquets for the girls. At least he's an involved grandparent, I guess? As the girls head backstage, Rayna tells Lamar to get out. She brings up the check with all its stipulations and asks why he's so invested in her giving up her career. Lamar says that Teddy's in the middle of a campaign (which Lamar orchestrated), and the girls are at the age where they need their mother. He adds, "You better than anyone should know about that." Rayna does not appreciate her dead mom being thrown in her face, and she tells Lamar to go home and, while he's at it, to go to hell. Hell is, like, his cottage on the lake. For Lamar Wyatt, I'd think it's not much of a punishment.
Cut to post-coital Deacon and Juliette. He's wondering how this (meaning sex) keeps happening. I mean, she does practically give him a lap dance every time they're in the same room together. Juliette "jokes" that she's irresistible, then adds that it didn't help her much at the Bluebird. Yes, the Bluebird, where Deacon sang with Rayna. Juliette says that she's always wanted to sing there. Well then why hasn't she? I mean, granted, she might not have too much actual cred with real musicians, but I feel like it wouldn't be all that hard to arrange, even with a manager as potentially inept as Glenn.
When Juliette asks why Deacon called up Rayna instead of her, Deacon first looks at her like, "Duh." He says that he didn't do it to hurt her, and Juliette lies that it didn't hurt her. She adds that sometimes she'd like to be that girl worth choosing. Oh, Lord. Deacon points out that he did just bang her, and she says, "I don't mean this. I mean the music." I'm quite puzzled about whether her primary motivation is to have him in her band or as her boyfriend. Juliette says that if Deacon thought she was in the same league as Rayna, he'd go on tour with her. Deacon is bristling at the "exclusive" part of the contract, and says that it's the equivalent of "going steady." Remember that he's the 40-something in this relationship, or non-relationship as it were. Juliette makes a case for how good it could be -- out on the road, playing sold out venues, co-writing. They both agree that "Undermine" was pretty special, and Juliette thinks it's just the beginning. She asks, hypothetically, what he'd do if he had to make a decision right now. Deacon says that it doesn't sound half bad, which manages to be fully non-committal while still making Juliette happy. Maybe he's the one who should run for mayor.
Back at the talent show, it's time for Maddie and Daphne to perform. And in case you didn't already know, these girls are awesome. Maddie plays guitar and they both sing, and the number they've chosen is "Telescope" by Juliette Barnes. Despite the fact that they're covering a song by her archnemesis that is awfully inappropriate for youngsters, Rayna couldn't be prouder. And there's no sideboob!
Post-talent show, Rayna talks to her sister Tandy and wonders what the deal is with Lamar and her career. Tandy sighs and says that he hates Rayna's career because of their mom. It turns out that their mom had a singer-songwriter "friend." They were "friends" for over 10 years, up until the time that she died. Rayna is shocked, and Tandy says that she found out from reading letters after their mom's death. Tandy theorizes that their mom's relationship with her "friend" is what made her marriage to Lamar work -- it's like the two men together somehow made a whole marriage. Hmmm, sound familiar? So Rayna's career pushes a button in Lamar. Well then why did he finance her first record? I guess to give himself something to twirl his moustache over.
Back at the Bluebird, it's almost quitting time for Scarlett, and Avery waits for her. Gunnar buys him a beer and notes that Scarlett still seems a bit shaken up. Avery doesn't know what he's talking about, so Gunnar has to impart the news that Scarlett choked in the recording session. Avery wonders what happened, and Gunnar says that it might have something to do with him. He theorizes that Scarlett may feel that if she really goes after it, she'll lose Avery. Avery says, "That's ridiculous," Gunnar says, "I know," and then the two of them stare at each other for a long time. Wouldn't it be awesome if their fighting over Scarlett led Gunnar and Avery to realize the true depth of their feelings for each other? And while we're making this into a real soap opera, how about if Deacon turned out to be Juliette's dad? I am full of ideas, Nashville! Don't think I can't come up with a good evil twin storyline, too!
Rayna heads to visit Lamar in his office, which is located in the sixth circle of Hell where the temperature best suits him. He "jokingly" asks if she's carrying any weapons after her display at the talent show. Rayna promises that she's unarmed, then lets Lamar know that she knows about her mom's affair. Lamar wonders what the point of talking about it all is, and Rayna says that after their mom's death he disappeared. He's been absent for her whole life, and when he's around he's being furious at her for the choices she's made. She's never understood why he hasn't been supportive. Lamar points out that he paid for her first record, which seems quite supportive, and Rayna wonders why he didn't tell her until 20 years later. Lamar says that Rayna is still his daughter (OR IS SHE, HMMMMM?) and, believe it or not, he cares about her happiness. He just wishes that she didn't put her own happiness in front of her family's. That's a similarity, he says, that she seems to have with her mother. Because that's not enough, Lamar adds that Rayna has proven to have the same disregard for her marriage as her mother did for theirs. Rayna then wins the whole episode by saying that she's sorry her mom hurt Lamar, but if he treated her the way he's treated Rayna, mommy dearest had no choice but to run in the arms of someone who was not only nice but could carry a tune. She thanks Lamar for the reminder of how truly awful he is, then leaves as she says she'll never take a penny from him.
Back at Juliette's, post-coital slumber is interrupted by a call from security. There's someone at the front gate who insists that she's Juliette's guest. We all know who that is! And so does Juliette, which is why she doesn't bring Deacon with her to the gate. There, of course, she finds MethMom begging to be let in. As you may have suspected, this is not a welcome surprise visit. Juliette tells her mother to go home, and that she's not welcome. Jolene swears that she's been clean for two weeks, and despite the fact that she actually does look a little bit better, Juliette doesn't believe it. She's heard it a million times. MethMom then rattles on about how her boyfriend left her and took all the money she had (which I can't imagine was very much money). She hitchhiked to Nashville! And now she's got nowhere to go. Juliette is basically like, "NO VACANCY!" Jolene yells, "I raised you!" This explains why Juliette is so messed up. Another resident of the community drives up to the gate, and Juliette tells Jolene that she's got to go. Jolene begs. She says that she has nowhere to go, and she needs Juliette. Juliette turns to look at her and says, "Well there was a time when I needed you too." She tells security to get her out and put her on a bus, or in a dumpster, or something. Anywhere but there. As security tries to wrestle Jolene away, Juliette walks back to her house with the most sad, pained crying face. The main theme of this show is that shitty parenting makes for best-selling country music, I think.
When Juliette gets back to her house, Deacon asks if everything's okay. She puts on a big smile and says that it's all great. They look quite cozy with their cups of coffee, but just as she's offering to make (or more likely order) something, Deacon sees an incoming call from Rayna and says he has to go. He leaves without a kiss, hug, or anything, and just says, "Thanks for everything." Getting a "Thanks" on the morning after is for sure a "He's just not that into you" kind of moment. And right she had to deal with MethMom, too. As soon as Deacon gets outside he calls Rayna back. She wants to talk, in person. Deacon agrees, and we see tears in Rayna's eyes.
But the one who REALLY should be crying is Teddy. We cut to the Music City Credit Union, where Teddy is meeting with a guy who is ostensibly the ever-powerful, string-pulling Billy. They're quite friendly with each other, and Teddy says that he'd like to take out a line of credit. Billy warns that qualifying these days is a bigger bitch than his third wife (har har?) but says he'll do what he can. He warns that things are backlogged, though, because the feds are auditing the credit union, all the way back to 2008. Billy looks awfully nervous, and says he'd better talk to Rayna before applying for that line of credit. And so continues the saga of the inscrutable bad money rich guy thing that no one really cares about all that much!
Back in Dogpatch, Avery comes home to find Scarlett cooking dinner. She hopes he's in the mood for the same thing she's cooked every night, which I'm guessing is possum and 'taters. But Avery is not yet ready for his squirrel melt. He hands Scarlett a whisk and asks her to sing for him. She knows he's been talking to Gunnar about the Watty White demos. Scarlett does not want to partake in the whisk-singing, as she's been traumatized by her own world-renowned suckage. She talks about how awful it was, and how unworthy she felt standing in a spot where so many greats recorded. Avery tells her that this isn't about her. The songs came from her, but getting them out there is something bigger. It's a piece of her that she's obligated to share. Avery says that Scarlett has to take the pressure off, and that she is the vehicle for the music getting heard. Avery instructs Scarlett to imagine it's just the two of them in the studio, and even offers to be there if she wants. "Forget about doing it for yourself," he says. "Do it for me." And that, folks, is actually a moment of honesty, though not in the way we all initially thought. Scarlett hugs Avery and smiles, because she's as bamboozled as the rest of us into thinking he's a good boyfriend.
And then we're back home with Juliette and Glenn. The good news, says Glenn, is that Deacon's got the contract. I'd say that's less good news than just news, since he hasn't actually signed it. But there is definitive bad news. Jolene got picked up downtown, at the bus depot, after apparently getting into an altercation or stealing some food or doing some other grimy thing that always happens at bus depots. The cops also found a handful of Oxy on her. Glenn says that even though Juliette doesn't want her too close, until they can get her into rehab or ship her back to Alabama, she'll cause a lot more trouble "out there" than "in here." "In here" is Juliette's house. Juliette has no words, and doubtlessly is hatching a plan to lock away her silverware and/or set her house on fire while her mom's inside.
Meanwhile, Rayna and Deacon meet in a lovely park, and proceed to have one of the most confusing conversations I've heard in scripted television. She says that she hasn't been avoiding him, but just doesn't know what to say. He says it's his fault, because he doesn't know why he's forcing her to say it in the first place. SAY WHAT? I asked that question, and then Rayna asks it too. The answer is, "The only thing you can say, Ray. That it's all over." Rayna feels that this is what she needs to say. She needs to let Deacon go so he can move on with his life and tour with Juliette or other bad decisions. SO WHY DOESN'T SHE? Oh, now Deacon asks that question too. I am dialogue psychic! Oh, except for this part. Rayna says that there's no difference between Deacon and music. And she feels like she's holding hearts in her hand, and is trying not to break them. What hearts? And wouldn't dropping them be more of a danger in that particular circumstance? Hearts are slippery! In any case, her own heart is in pieces. And she's trying to do the right thing, but none of it feels right to her. Apparently Deacon and Rayna have the equivalent of some secret twin language, because he just says, "Okay." Okay what? What did any of that even MEAN? Is she leaving him or not leaving him? How can she leave him when they're not even together? Are they still going on tour? Is the tour over? WHAT? I feel like what she actually just said was that she's still in love with him and is struggling not to break up her whole family. Well, whatever happened, I guess the two of them are on the same page somehow. Deacon leaves, and Rayna cries.
And then it's time for our musical outro! Gunnar and Scarlett are in the studio singing a song called "Fade Into You," with Avery looking on. Turns out Scarlett can sing now, and is helped by directing all of her vocal parts toward Avery. Cut to the Bluebird, where Juliette approaches Deacon. They both want to talk. Juliette says that she needs an answer. If he's coming on tour, she needs to know that she can count on him, and that he's going to be there. Deacon, who I think was about to say that he'd go on tour, just stares at her blankly. He then tells her that she's a hard girl to say no to. But he's still saying no. Because obviously he's all set with being under contract to a crazy girlfriend! Finally somebody on this show makes a good decision. Juliette asks if it's because of Rayna. Deacon doesn't know, but he is sure of the fact that he's not "that guy" who Juliette can count on. Juliette says that she hopes Rayna is worth what Deacon is giving up. I'd say that's a solid yes, actually, given that what he's giving up is a transparent hot mess with an attitude problem and an addict mom.
Meanwhile, Lamar pulls out his drawer of sentimentality. There is some sort of first prize ribbon, probably from the Society of Evildoing annul award ceremony. There are photos, too. First there's a photo of a little girl, then a lovely woman, then Lamar with his arm wrapped around what appears to be the same lovely woman. So, that's Rayna's mom I guess. He looks a little regretful for an evil guy so accustomed to evildoing. Oooh, and then we head over to Juliette's, where MethMom has just arrived. I'm surprised her luggage isn't a bandana tied to a stick. Jolene thanks Juliette and puts her arms around her. This is all too much for Juliette, who asks her security guard to stay with MethMom. Back at the recording studio, Watty tells Avery, "Your girlfriend's got it." This gives Avery a chance to introduce himself to Watty, which is, methinks, what he was scheming from the start. Well played, secretly bad boyfriend all along!
Oh, and THEN. We cut to Juliette in the supermarket, buying chips and queso in a jar. I mean, say what you will, that stuff is delicious. She has a hat on, which is of course not much of a disguise. Juliette picks up a bottle of nail polish, looks at it, then looks behind her. Three teenage girls are coming down the aisle. After she looks back at the nail polish, they realize that it's her and whip out their phones. Juliette doesn't seem to see that they recognize her. Instead she looks for a moment in the other direction, then slips the nail polish into her bag. It looks like we've got a little country Winona on our hands! And it's all caught on video.
week: Shoplifting scandale! Juliette's tour is off. Deacon and Teddy have a confrontation, and Gunnar gets a girlfriend!
Potes spent lots of procrastination time looking up every version of "Jolene" on YouTube. Get her recommendations for the best by tweeting @traciepotes or emailing potesypotes@gmail.com.