The episode opens with a series of interviews. Angie says that if she doesn't get executed tonight, she'll be in the finals. Her strategy is to make people think she's The Mole. Mark puts on a weird voice and says that he will win the game. Dennis says he's not trying to sabotage anyone and fraggle rock knocker main objective. Tracey says it's her "ultimate judgment day."
Ahmad greets the players on the beach, surrounded by donkeys. He invites everyone to take a big whiff of eau de donkey, and says that the game is called "Donkey Rally." I think the donkeys are cute. Something might be wrong with me. Ahmad says that each team will feature a man, who will be the brawn of the team, and a woman, who will be the brains. Wouldn't it have been a more interesting game if they switched those roles around? Or at least let the players choose who got to do what? Dennis and Tracey form a team, and Dennis speaks more clearly than he ever has when he describes Tracey as "beautiful, crafty, energetic, alive, vibrant." Ahmad explains that there are merchant carts down the road. The teams have to find each cart, collect some goods, pack them onto the donkey, and cross the finish line in forty-five minutes. The twist is that each cart has instructions on what to take, and the instructions are written in Spanish. Ahmad reads an example, and asks if anyone can translate. Angie thinks that it means, "Ahmad Rashad's wearing the gayest bandanna I've ever seen." That was actually almost funny. Although she should have made a reference to John Travolta in Staying Alive. Ahmad says that it means "Correct translation is the key to the game." One of the donkeys starts having a fit, and Mark goes over and calms it down. Ahmad hands each woman a Spanish/English dictionary, and explains that only the women can use it, and that they must stay on their donkeys while translating. The men are the only ones who can load the items onto the donkey, and they cannot lead or pull the women's donkeys for them.
The teams head for their donkeys. Angie makes an ass joke. Tracey interviews that she's never even seen a donkey, much less sat on one. Tracey gets on her donkey, and a nearby donkey starts kicking hers in the head. Yikes! Angie complains about the boniness of the donkey's back. The teams take off as Ahmad voice-overs that each item the players correctly pick up is worth $10,000 for the pot, and that each team that finishes within thirty minutes earns an additional $5,000 for the pot.
“ Dennis is shocked to learn that they have to translate the entire sign. He seriously just goes off into his own world while instructions are given. I have some students like that. ”
Tracey's donkey takes off at a good clip, and she arrives at the first cart ahead of the other team. to the cart is a pen full of chihuahuas. Tracey reads the clue, which says, "El trece de la suerte es igual a dos de los mejores amigos del hombre." Tracey tries to translate, using her dictionary. Dennis is shocked to learn that they have to translate the entire sign. He seriously just goes off into his own world while instructions are given. I have some students like that. A caption informs viewers that the sign says, "Two of 'Man's Best Friend' equal lucky thirteen." Tracey interviews that the clues were much more complicated than she thought, and that they were almost like riddles. Tracey yells at Dennis to help her out. Tracey decides that the clue has something to do with "two of the same," and tells Dennis to pick out two dogs with the same number on their backs. Dennis picks one up, and the dog looks like a mouse in his giant hand. Tracey puts the dog into her bag and takes off.
Angie and Mark arrive at the first cart. Angie has no idea what the sign says. Mark interviews that he doesn't know Spanish, and that Angie had the dictionary, so she could have told him anything. Angie translates one word, "luck," and decides that they should take the dog with the number seven, since that's her lucky number. It's amazing to me that they think translating one word will tell them the meaning of the entire sentence.
Tracey and Dennis arrive at the second cart, which has barrels full of beans. The clue reads, "La fruta musical es roja. Diez libras. No tomar nada seria una mala idea." A caption translates, "The musical fruit is red. Fill ten pounds. Taking nothing would be a bad idea." Tracey tells Dennis that she thinks they should take ten pounds. Dennis scoops out some beans. Tracey interviews that Dennis didn't help much with the interpreting. I don't even know what he's saying when he's speaking English. Does she really want his help with the Spanish? Tracey's donkey won't get going, so Dennis takes the donkey by the reins and pulls it around. Tracey tells him not to lead her donkey, because she doesn't want to break any rules.
Angie and Mark are waiting for the first team to leave so that they can complete their task. A chihuahua nearly falls out of Mark's bag. Angie tries to translate the sign, and Mark thinks that "libras" means "market," when it really means "pounds." Mark thinks they should just take some beans, and he grabs a couple of scoops. Angie interviews that Mark seemed so sure, so she just went along with it.
Tracey and Dennis arrive at the third cart, which has a selection of fruit. The sign reads, "Canasta de aguacates. Tomar algo de este carrito seria tragico." I think what would be most difficult about this task is that the dictionary isn't going to be much help with the verbs. It's like if you tried to look up the phrase "would be" in the dictionary, it might not be there. You'd have to look up "to be" or "am" or something. A caption tells us that the sign reads, "Basket of avocados. Taking something from this cart would be tragic." Tracey thinks it means they are just supposed to fill their basket with avocados, and that it would be seriously tragic not to do that. Dennis complies.
Mark leads his donkey along the beach, and complains about the heat. Mark interviews that it was so hot that he saw a bird walking. Mark interviews that the donkey looked pretty excited about the fruit cart, so he fed the donkey a couple of bananas. Mark wants us to imagine being a wild animal in Mexico, because he wonders how often they get to eat fresh fruit. My husband supposes, "All the time?" Good point. Bananas are probably a lot cheaper there. Mark puts some bananas in his basket, and Angie clearly sees him doing it, because she laughs at him. Mark suggests that every sign tells them not to take anything. He goes back and takes the bananas out of his bag. Angie says that she's following Mark's orders.
Ahmad voice-overs that each team has different instructions at the final stand. Tracey tries to translate her sign, which reads, "Contemple la grandeza del oceano. Escoga cinco de los unicos marinos con ocho." Tracey checks out the cart's offerings and realizes that they are supposed to take octopi. A caption translates, "Behold the bounty of the sea. Choose five of the unique marine life with eight." Who wrote these clues? A four-year-old? "The unique marine life with eight"? Tracey tells Dennis to put five octopi in with the avocados, and assures Dennis that she knows this is right. Dennis picks up the slimy, gross octopi and tosses them in his basket. Tracey interviews that the octopi were dripping on her, and that she's going to have a hard time eating calamari again. Isn't that squid?
Angie and Mark arrive at the final cart. Angie's donkey seems a little too interested in eating some flowers, so Mark takes the reins and leads the donkey over to the cart. Their clue reads, "De tantos pesces en el mar. Escoga cinco vendido rubia." Angie says that "rubia" means "blonde," but then says something about red. I don't know. Mark decides to take five fish, and a caption informs us that the clue said, "Of all the fish in the sea, choose five rubia (blond fish)."
“ Angie gets off her donkey, groaning. The donkey groans too. Hee! Donkeys are funny. ”
Dennis and Tracey cross the finish line with just under four minutes remaining. As Tracey gets off her donkey, her dog goes crashing to the ground. Oh, poor puppy. Between this and Braxton pushing Tinkerbell down the slide on The Simple Life, Chihuahuas are not faring well on television lately.
Mark and Angie cross the finish line with less than a minute left. Mark voice-overs that people shouldn't ride donkeys, because donkeys are just horses minus coffee. Angie gets off her donkey, groaning. The donkey groans too. Hee! Donkeys are funny.
Ahmad is ready to tally up the haul. First, they were supposed to take two Chihuahuas that added up to thirteen. Dennis and Tracey have two Chihuahuas (twelve and two) that add up to fourteen, so they get no money. Dennis chuckles that they couldn't figure that one out. Mark and Angie took one Chihuahua with the number seven, so they don't earn any money either. Mark interviews that he didn't have the dictionary, so he didn't know what the sign said.
Ahmad moves to the sign, which told them to take ten pounds of beans. Angie and Mark dump the contents of their bag onto a scale, and they only have eight and a half pounds of beans, so they don't earn any money. Angie says that she didn't look up "libras." Okay, but if you know astrology at all (and I would bet that Angie does), you know that Libra is the scale. Wouldn't that help? Mark interviews that Angie's translation screwed them. Wasn't he the one who claimed that "libras" meant "market"? Dennis dumps his beans onto the scale, and he has ten pounds exactly, so $10,000 goes into the pot.
Ahmad explains that the sign told them to take nothing, and asks to see their baskets. Dennis dumps his avocados out all over the place. Angie says that they didn't take any fruit. Ahmad wants to check Angie and Mark's basket, and says that he sees a banana in there. Mark immediately starts protesting. Mark interviews that he did not put a banana in the basket. Mark admits that he gave some bananas to the donkey, but says he didn't put any in the basket. Ahmad says that's all he needs to hear, and Mark starts yelling and screaming. Ahmad wants a yes or no answer to the question of whether or Mark took a banana from the fruit stand. Mark protests that he only took one to feed the donkey. Ahmad persists, and Mark refuses to answer. Mark interviews that he was framed in "the banana situation" by either Angie or Dennis Rodman, because he knows he didn't put the banana in there. Ahmad announces that Mark and Angie don't earn any money. Mark complains some more, and Tracey says she thought the sign said that to take nothing would be a tragedy.
Ahmad moves on to the fish stand. Tracey and Dennis were supposed to take five octopi. Dennis slops them out of the bag. Man, those things are gross. Ahmad says that they've earned another $10,000 for the pot. Angie and Mark were supposed to bring back five fish that are blond. Angie dumps the fish out, and Ahmad counts them. He announces that Mark and Angie have also added $10,000 to the pot. Mark is still complaining about the banana thing, and Ahmad just ignores him.
Ahmad announces that Dennis and Tracey won $20,000 for the pot, and that Mark and Angie won $10,000, for a total of $30,000. They also all made it under the allotted time, so another $5,000 for each team goes into the pot. That makes a total of $40,000 for this game. Ahmad says that there's a problem, because the players didn't listen to the instructions. Dennis and Mark both led donkeys, and Dennis looked at the dictionary, so Ahmad is fining them $5,000 total. Mark protests that he didn't lead Angie's donkey, although it was totally caught on tape, and Ahmad retorts, "You did not take a banana either, did you?" Ooh, Ahmad! Angie interviews that Mark led the donkey, tried to read the dictionary, and put a banana in the bag, so she thinks Mark intentionally sabotaged the game. I have to say that I don't think Mark put a banana in the basket. He did put some in his bag, but then we saw him take them out. I think either Angie or Dennis snuck the banana in the basket.
For the game, the players report to a Mexican schoolhouse. Ahmad sits at the teacher's desk at the front of the classroom. Tracey interviews that she was scared when she saw the classroom, because she didn't do well in school. Each player takes a seat in the back row of the classroom. The chairs and desks are sized for tiny little people. Like, I think they would even be too small for children. Mark and Dennis look particularly ridiculous. Dennis interviews that we're about to see how stupid they really are.
Ahmad announces that this game is called "The Graduate." Because they had perfect attendance, he's going to put $40,000 into the pot. Ahmad will ask questions from elementary-school textbooks. Each correct answer allows that player to move forward one row toward the front of the class. Each incorrect answer means $1000 taken away from the starting total. The first person to the head of the class graduates, and secures whatever money is left for the pot. Ahmad asks Dennis is he understands the instructions. Dennis holds up his tiny chalkboard, which says, "Yes!" Heh. Ahmad says that there is an exemption involved in this game, and everyone sits up. Ahmad says that the first person to graduate will get an exemption offer. Each player has a disk that he or she can use to prevent another player from moving forward, but each disk can only be used once.
For the seventh question, the players have to fill in the blank: "Make a mountain out of a ____hill." Dennis bursts out laughing. Everyone gets that one right, so they all move forward.
The eighth question is needlessly wordy: "Which American general, born in 1741, committed treason during the Revolutionary War before serving in the British Army?" I think you could have left out the birth year and the British Army part and made the question less confusing, but maybe that's what they were going for. Mark said it was Benedict Arnold, which is correct. Angie thought it was George Washington. Ahmad totally rips her for that one. Angie interviews that it's not fun to look stupid on TV, or any time. Tracey gets it right. Dennis thought it was General Lee. I think he used his Dukes of Hazzard knowledge for that one. Tracey decides to use her holdback card on Mark, who was about to move into the front row. Mark is shocked. The total is at $23,000, and Dennis, Tracey, and Mark are all one away from the front row. Angie is one row behind them.
Ahmad asks the ninth question: "How many minutes are in an hour and thirty-one minutes?" Seriously? That's the question. Everyone gets it right with ninety-one. Mark uses his holdback card on Tracey. Dennis and Mark are now in the front row, and Dennis still has his unused holdback card.
The tenth question is: "Which two well-known explorers began their expedition across the American West in 1804?" Mark guesses Ashford and Simpson, which is obviously wrong. Angie tries to be funny by saying, "Mr. Rashad and his brother." Dennis cracks up. Tracey gets it right with "Lewis and Clark." Dennis stands up to deliver his answer, which was "John Wayne." He then dies laughing at himself. Tracey joins Mark and Dennis in the front row, and the total is $19,000. If any of those three answers the question correctly, he or she will graduate. I wonder what they would do it two people graduated at the same time? Who would get the exemption offer?
The eleventh question is, "Which hemisphere is the United States in?" Mark, Angie, and Tracey all get it right by saying Western. Dennis guesses, "Tenth" and then cackles at himself. Ahmad points out that Mark and Tracey are getting ready to graduate, and that Dennis can stop one of them. Dennis uses his holdback card to stop Mark, and Tracey graduates. Tracey interviews that she can smell exemption.
The celebrity is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Angie and Tracey immediately choose one, and they are right. I don't think Dennis and Mark are even paying attention anymore. The celebrity is Stephen Baldwin. The photos are of fairly bad quality. Angie thinks it's "the one with the zit on it." Mark chooses one. Dennis goes along. Mark chooses a different one, and the ladies disagree. They end up going with Angie's first choice, which was correct. Mark interviews that if you put butts up there, he would have gotten it, even if it belonged to "Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie." Shout-out? And also, ew. Ahmad says that they just added $25,000 to the pot, which is now at $182,000. Dennis has an exemption. Dennis interviews that we can watch him on the final episode. Ahmad proposes a toast, and says that he'll miss one of them tomorrow.
It's time for the quiz. Mark thinks that The Mole is one of the two women. Tracey says that someone put the banana in Mark's bag, which she found interesting. Angie repeats her suspicions about Mark during the "Donkey Rally" game. Tracey says that Dennis could be The Mole, because he wasn't concentrating during the "Graduate" game. Mark interviews that Angie never got an exemption. Dennis interviews that Angie is The Mole.
The players file in to find out who is going home. Ahmad welcomes them, and says that they've been very entertaining, and that he hates to see anyone go. Mark thinks that means he's going. Angie asks if Ahmad can type Dennis's name in first to give them some time. Ahmad sits down and types in Tracey's name first. Tracey says she's gone, and Dennis assures her that she's staying. Everyone waits, and then the screen goes red. Dammit! Why do I even try to figure out who The Mole is? I give up. I'm not making any more picks.
Tracey hugs everyone goodbye. Angie applauds for Tracey as she walks out. Angie says that Tracey always made her laugh. Dennis says that they had a Tracey moment at least once per day, and that she was cool. Mark adds that Tracey took the best notes, and could tell you any detail. Angie brings up when Tracey got pegged in the head with a ball, and they all reenact it. Ahmad puts Tracey into the taxi and asks if she has any final words for the rest of the players. Tracey tells them to have fun and miss her. Ahmad says that he misses her already. Tracey takes off.
Mark celebrates making it to the end of the game, and says it's time to play the game now. Angie asks if he will wear a cape, and Mark says that he will. Ahmad returns to the execution room and asks each player if he or she is The Mole. They each say that they are The Mole. Mark reminds everyone that he wants to wear a cape the day.