Three Celebrities

Previously on Celebrity Mole: Michael and Erik hula-danced while Kathy and Frederique surfed. Kathy failed, so they didn't win a prize. Erik failed in his opportunity to win more money for the pot. Kathy and Erik discussed strategy. Kathy, Michael, and Frederique all failed to keep Erik from winning an exemption. Then, Michael was executed.

The episode begins with a series of interviews. Kathy says that The Mole got her. Erik says that Michael was his candidate for The Mole. Frederique says that either Erik is The Mole and he can't handle the pressure, or he just can't handle the pressure. Erik whispers that he's been working with Kathy (which is footage we've seen before) and says that if she's The Mole, she's been screwing with his head.

Big Island. Hawaii. It's the last day, and the pot stands at $151,000. The players get into a van and head to a game. In an interview, Frederique says that they all realized that they are on their own. In an interview, Kathy says that after Michael was executed, she just wanted to be as guarded as possible, and she ended her coalition with Erik because it wouldn't work for either of them anymore. In an interview, Erik says that after Michael's execution, his strategy became to be extremely observant. So that wasn't his strategy before? Erik asks Kathy why she wears her watch on her right wrist. Kathy says she doesn't know, because she's right-handed. That is weird. I wear my watch (when I wear a watch, which is rarely) on my right wrist, but I'm left-handed. Erik writes this information down. The stuff about Kathy, not the stuff about me. Frederique follows suit, and finally Kathy does too. In an interview, Erik says that the coalition helped him, but now it's "every man for himself." I realize it's just a saying, but you wonder if he realizes that he's the only man left. That's assuming you consider him to be a man.

Ahmad welcomes the players to the Cloud Forest. He reminds them that one of them is The Mole, and one will be the winner. Then he says that it's tradition on the show to play a game called Three Questions, where the players test how well they know each other, and also how well they know what the other players think of them. We see footage of each player filling out questionnaires. One player will run off and hide. Three questions will be selected from the hidden player's questionnaire. If the other two can correctly guess how the hidden player answered, they will find the hidden player and win $10,000 for the pot. Even one wrong answer will mean that the hidden player is not found and no money goes in the pot. Ahmad asks for a volunteer to hide first. The players all look at each other. Kathy stares at Frederique and says, "You go hide." Frederique is like, "Excuse me?" Kathy tells her again to go hide, and Erik is like, "Run along!" Frederique gets all pissed off at Erik's tone and they all laugh. In an interview, Frederique says she didn't want to follow Erik's orders. In an interview, Erik says he thought Frederique felt threatened by him. No, she thought you were a little punk, because you are. In an interview, Kathy says the three of them are not a "feminine, nurturing group," and that they're definitely "not crocheting a blanket." The word "blanket" takes on new meaning after the Michael Jackson interview.

Frederique finally agrees to hide first, and she has to wear a camouflage suit and hide in some weeds. Ahmad calls Kathy and Erik over to hear the first question: "Who would you rather have speak at your funeral?" The answer is either Kathy or Erik. Erik says it would be Kathy, and Kathy says it would be her, because Erik doesn't talk. They head off to Ahmad's left. The second question is, "Who is more likely to pass gas?" Kathy thinks it would be Erik because he's a young guy so he's "carefree with [his] gas." Hee! Erik points out that Kathy speaks openly about gas all of the time. Kathy agrees, "I have discussed my gas." They agree to go with Kathy. Ahmad leads them off to his left again and says that he'll walk in front of Kathy, like, ha ha she might fart right now! Whatever, Ahmad. The third question is, "Who is the bigger flirt?" Kathy thinks it would definitely be Erik, because he has "acted like a slut since the day [she] met [him]." Erik thinks it would be Kathy. In an interview, Erik says that he was able to convince Kathy to agree with him on some answers. In an interview, Kathy says that she was tired, so she just decided to go with the consensus. They agree that the answer is Kathy, and they head off to Ahmad's left again. Kathy thinks that last one was risky. They reach the end of a path and look around for Frederique, which is so dumb, because I can understand making her hide a bit so they couldn't figure out the answers to the questions just because they could see her, but why not let her pop up once they have answered the last question? Anyway, Frederique does eventually pop out. Kathy and Erik make fun of Frederique's camouflage suit, perhaps not realizing that they're each going to have to wear it shortly. Ahmad announces that they've added $10,000 to the pot, which is now at $161,000.

Erik hides . Once he gets the suit on, he has to shoot a pretend machine gun because he is eight years old. Kathy and Frederique listen to the first question: "If Martians came down and abducted one person, who would it be?" They both agree that it's Frederique, with no discussion. The second question is, "Who would you rather be stranded on a deserted island with?" Kathy thinks it's definitely Frederique. She explains in a faux-disappointed voice, "Because you're a hot model." Frederique says she'd rather be with Kathy than Erik. Kathy is touched, and they agree to go with Frederique as their answer. Kathy points out how horrific an eternity would be for her with Erik, since he doesn't laugh at her jokes. Ahmad asks Frederique why she thinks Erik would pick her. Frederique says he probably wants to learn Dutch, and Ahmad retorts, "That wouldn't be my answer." Shut up, Ahmad. The third question is, "Who is more likely to wear dirty underwear?" Frederique has no clue. Kathy says she thinks Erik will say her, because Frederique has her own underwear line. Frederique still isn't sure. Kathy says, "I think he knows I'm dirty." Frederique agrees and laughs and they come to the end of the path and start calling Erik's name. They're in the wrong place, so they don't win any money. They find him on another path.

Ahmad reviews the questions. They got the first one right, but Erik said he'd rather be stranded with Kathy on a deserted island. In an interview, Erik says that Kathy had the right idea with the whole supermodel thing. Erik tells them he chose Kathy because they enjoy hanging out together. Kathy adds that she's also hot. Ahmad reviews the dirty-underwear question, which they got right, and he asks Erik why he said Kathy. Erik asks Kathy not to slap him, and reminds her that just that morning she was talking about how dirty her bathing suit is. Kathy says that it's true that she will wear a dirty bathing suit. Are there really people out there who wash their suits every single time they wear them? What if you're, like, at a lake, and you go swimming, and then put dry clothes on, and then later that day you want to go swimming again? I guess rich celebrities have enough bathing suits that they just put on a new one every time. Erik points out that Kathy's worn that shirt before too. Kathy sadly admits that she's dirty.

Now it's Kathy's turn to hide. Ahmad asks Frederique and Erik the first question: "Who is more likely to stiff a waitress?" Frederique says that it's probably her because she's Dutch. So she usually goes Dutch? Erik says that Frederique is a girl, and girls don't usually pay for the meal, so they also don't tip. What? Shut up, Erik. They agree to go with Frederique. Erik is worried because they've always gone to Ahmad's left after the first question, and he thinks they are wrong already. The second question is, "Who thinks they have better hair?" Erik thinks it's him. Frederique agrees. Ahmad clarifies, "So you guys think that Kathy would think Erik's hair is better than [Frederique's] hair?" Um, that wasn't the question, dude. Shut up, Ahmad. Erik sets him straight. Ahmad asks the third question: "Who is more likely to gain weight when they get older?" Frederique giggles and Erik asks what would be the funnier answer. It's so sad that he has to ask. Frederique says the funny answer would be to say her, but she thinks Kathy would say Erik. Frederique tells Erik to call it, and he wants to go with himself. Now suddenly Erik thinks they won, even though he was all doom and gloom earlier. They call out Kathy's name, but she doesn't appear. They go and find her, and she seems very grouchy.

Kathy asks if they got the money, and groans when she finds out they didn't. Ahmad reviews the questions. They got the first one right, and Kathy says her reasoning was that Frederique is European, and they don't always tip. Erik and Frederique agree. Ahmad reads the hair question. Kathy says it was a toss-up, but that she went with Frederique. Erik reminds Kathy that she was talking about his hair in the makeup room the other day. Kathy makes up some bullshit about how Frederique works with her hair, and also that she got a haircut that day and mentioned it. Frederique realizes that's true. For the weight-gain question, Kathy also said Frederique, because women gain weight as they get older. Ahmad points out that Kathy answered every question on the list with Frederique, not just the three that were used in the game. Kathy says she didn't know Ahmad knew that, or that he would reveal it. Erik says that was brilliant. Kathy says she just decided to go with one person and hope that the others picked up on it. Didn't someone do that in the first edition of this game, which I'm sure Kathy watched? ["If you click on that link, you'll see that's what Jim did in the first season." -- Wing Chun]

In an interview, Kathy says she kept trying to cheat with Erik while they were filling out the questionnaires, but that they weren't allowed to talk or make hand signals, so she mouthed to him that she was voting for Frederique. In an interview, Erik says he didn't pick up any of Kathy's hints. In an interview, Frederique says that Kathy's strategy was hardly a strategy, and that it seemed like a Mole-ish move. Ahmad reminds them that they won $10,000 out of a potential $30,000, and that it seems like they don't know each other that well. Frederique says they need to spend more time together. They all don't seem very excited about that. In an interview, Frederique says they don't work well together and that Kathy committed the perfect sabotage. In an interview, Kathy says that Frederique tried to act irritated and Kathy was like, "Go ahead. Work it." Kathy looks at the camera and says, "At least I had a strategy. And Frederique looks a little...you know what I mean? In the hips. That's all I'm saying." Frederique cackles as they walk off. In past seasons, people got really upset during this game, but I think that is because (a) they aren't celebrities who are used to being paid to go hang out with people for a while and (b) the players have usually been together for a lot longer than a week by the end of the game. ["And I would add that (c) the questions they have to answer are usually a lot meaner. I mean 'Who is more likely to lie to your face?' vs. 'Who has better hair?' Please." -- Wing Chun]

Ahmad voice-overs that it's the players' last dinner together. Ahmad announces that he has a game for them to play for fun. He has a bowl with all seven players' names written on slips of paper. Each person has to pull a name out and imitate that player, and that the others have to guess who it is. Kathy says that if she ends up imitating one of them, they can't get mad. They agree. Kathy draws a name. She immediately starts going, "I'm just too honest to play this game," and pretending to push her braids back. They immediately guess that it's Kim Coles, who I kind of forgot was ever on the show. Kathy jokes about her extensions and Ahmad dies laughing. Is he drunk? Frederique goes and says she has to stand for hers. She starts yelling and swearing and then says, "It's about safety, guys!" Kathy yells out, "Baldy!" I so wish they had called Stephen Baldwin that to his face, because I don't think he would have liked it much. Erik picks a name and stands up and starts talking in this oddly high-pitched voice: "Well, I got a good one for you tonight. Sooo, the other day, I was...bah dum bum!" That last part was him doing a rimshot. Kathy very seriously goes, "You son of a bitch. Is that supposed to be me, you little shit? What am I, Shecky Greene? Where's my stogie and do I actually do my own rim shot when I talk?" Hee! That was the worst imitation ever. Although if you've ever listened to the Mallrats DVD commentary and heard Ben Affleck try to do Denzel Washington as Malcolm X, that would be a close second. Erik tries to give Kathy a hug and she pretends she's still pissed. Ahmad reminds Kathy that she said no one could be offended, and Kathy says that she gave herself an exemption. Ahmad asks if they are ready for the game. Erik corrects him to say it's the last game. Dramatic music swells as the players look around.

Ahmad voice-overs, "At midnight, the players were taken to an exotic mansion on the shores of Keauhou Bay for their last chance to add money to the pot." The three players walk into a beautiful house, all wearing black jumpsuits, for some reason. In an interview, Kathy says she walked into the gorgeous house and thought maybe the game would be to order around the staff, which she would definitely win, but then she realized she was wearing "a very uncomfortable jumpsuit with giant stickers on it." Ahmad announces that they are about to play the final game, which is worth $75,000. They need to find the five-digit combination to a safe. There are three numbers that make up the combination: it's a one-two-two combination. They will also have to figure out the correct order of the numbers. Ahmad has three clues to get them started, but the pieces of paper appear blank because the clues have been written in invisible ink that can only be seen under black light. A black light comes on, and the player take turns reading the instructions: "To read your clues, you'll need a light. Discover the 'switch' to make black bright. As Goldilocks knows: one was too hard, one was too soft, one was just right." So clearly the first clue is in a bed. Ahmad says that if they solve the instructions, they will know how to turn on the black light, and at that point, he will give them their first clue. They have one hour to finish the whole thing.

Erik suggests that the clue refers to them, and so one of them is soft, one is hard, and one is Goldilocks. Good one. It's clearly beds. Kathy figures out that it's beds, but she's not positive. There are a bunch of beds around the house. Frederique finds one that has a pillowcase with writing on it, and she calls the others over. She reads it: "It takes two to make black light bright. Lie back, be still until the clue is in sight." Erik and Frederique lie on the bed and the black light comes on. Erik tells Kathy to run over there and get the clue from Ahmad. Kathy doesn't know where Ahmad is. Erik points him out; he's sitting in a chair nearby. Erik screams, "Run, Kathy, run!" Kathy tells Erik to fuck off. In an interview, Kathy says that Erik turned into a combination of Corbin and Stephen and that she wanted to kick his head. She concludes, "Now, I know that sounds harsh, but I don't like to be yelled at." I'm with you, sister.

Kathy gets the first clue from Ahmad and runs back to the black light. The clue reads: "Thomas Crown's recent collection." They all think it refers to the movie The Thomas Crown Affair, but apparently none of them has seen it. Me neither, but I think it had something to do with an art thief. Erik goes to get his clue. Kathy takes the opportunity to scream at him to run. Erik's clue says, "Where Kasparov and Fischer faced off." A chess board. Right? Erik doesn't know who Kasparov and Fischer are. Frederique goes to get her clue and Erik biffs his head on the bed while he gets in. I totally think Frederique is The Mole, since she's the one pushing for each of them to get their clues first, whereas I would have tried to solve one clue and then gotten the one. Trying to solve all three clues at once seems like it will cause them to all be scattering in different directions instead of working together. Frederique gets her clue, which reads, "This sweet squash makes a scary jack." Frederique thinks it must be a pumpkin, and Kathy confirms it. She totally got the easiest clue.