By Daniel
Previously on Miracles: the show was actually on ABC. And Skeet hates the way people feel after he debunks a miracle. Oh, GOD. Not AGAIN.
Nighttime in Lowell, New Jersey, home of...um...anyway, it's Lowell, N.J. ["No such place, if anyone cares." -- Sars] And in the darkened offices of Hill Ridge Realty, Larry Kittredge sits at his desk opening envelopes, with classical piano playing on the radio. He opens an envelope and tosses the letter opener aside, all the better to be filmed by the Pay Attention, This Will Be Significant cam, which pans over to take in a pair of scissors also lying on his desk. Larry thinks he hears a noise and looks up. There's nothing. But then the light bulb in the lamp behind him starts to crackle and hiss and burn brighter, before it pops, giving Larry a bit of a jump. And then the blinds drop down of their own accord, his door slams, and the radio station moves down the dial to some metal station while papers fly off of Larry's desk. As if that weren't bad enough, the scissors and the letter opener rise into the air, pointing at Larry. He's kind of freaked, even more so when they zoom towards him, until they're inches away from his face. Then, they drop to his desk and start kind of dancing all over the surface, bits of wood flying everywhere. As we pull away from the desk, we see that the sharp instruments are, in a nice-looking special effect, chiseling out a message on the desktop: "I'M BACK." Bonus points to the ghost for using proper punctuation! People can't be hassled to use apostrophes in email, so I'm impressed the ghost used one from all the way over in the afterlife.
Boston Hospital. We see Skeet lying down on a stretcher and sliding into an MRI. What?
In the doctor's office, the physician is going over the battery of tests that they've run on Skeet, only to find absolutely nothing wrong with him. The doctor asks if he exercises. "Sometimes," says Skeet, and he gets really shifty-eyed about that for some reason. His eye catches a photo on the doctor's desk that appears to be of relief workers in some heatstroke-inducing country. It's not the people in the photo that Skeet fixates on so much as the water tower in the background, while the doctor explains that Skeet does not have gout, diabetes, liver disease or any of that stuff. What is it with this show and water towers? Skeet, naturally, flashes back to the "God is Coming" water tower from the first episode. "And no brain tumours?" says Skeet. No, says the doctor, who asks if Skeet would be happier to find out he does have a tumour. Skeet laughs and says he wouldn't, but he's had some "unusual experiences" lately. The doctor's all, "Yeah? Like what?" and Skeet says it's hard to explain, so we're just going to flash some more brief scenes of episodes across the screen. "Mr. Callan, are you worried about your sanity?" Skeet just looks down.