Search thousands of recaps and more

By Wing Chun

New York. Marin has an orgasmic experience with her deluxe shower head until, of course, she gets a little too into it and, when she tries to redirect the flow, ends up unscrewing it instead. Pretty shoddy workmanship for something she told Jane was overpriced. Just then, the doorbell rings.

Marin comes to the door in her robe to be greeted by the pinchy visage of Miss Frankel, the head of "the building board" (why they don't say "co-op," I don't know). She hands Marin a pile of Liza's mail, and gives Marin shit for illegally subletting the apartment to Liza, saying that if Marin's not going to live there, she'll have to give it up. Marin stares at her a long moment -- possibly wishing she'd gone for a condo when she had the chance -- and then confidently announces that she's moving back to New York! Well, that's that, then! Go to hell, Alaska!

The day, Marin's standing in her shower, pretending she knows what the hell she's doing trying to fix the shower head, and babbling to Jane (sitting beside her, Blackberry in hand) that she had no remorse about her decision to return to New York; apparently she gets a stomach ache when she makes a bad call, but her stomach is utterly untroubled on this particular day. Marin monologues about how much she loves her apartment: she wrote her first book there, got engaged there, and got cheated on there. She thought of it as her "sanctuary." Jane pointedly reminds Marin that she cheated on the apartment with Elmo, but Marin says that's over: "I'm going toward the love. Publishers want me here, you want me here, I have a bird to take care of...." She's choosing New York, because New York is choosing her. Jane exposits that Marin has a dinner meeting with a Stuart Maxson, some hot publisher, that night. Marin is excited, but then crabs that if she were in Elmo, Jack would be fixing her shower head for her. Jane's Blackberry rings, and she throatily tells the caller she's at 18th and Irving Place, quickly hanging up. Marin thinks Jane called a plumber, but Jane says that it was "Plow Guy," who likes to Mapquest her, because that's not too creepy. Marin thinks it's adorable, though, and starts congratulating herself for fixing the shower head, which instantly collapses under all the attention. Call a plumber, idiot.

Celia's/Jack's. Annie cooingly exposits that she's excited Patrick's coming home to New York with her for Thanksgiving. Patrick's excited too: "Can we see The Lion King?" "No," says Annie firmly. She's weirdly serious about it, like there's possibly some big story there to explain why she's so anti-Simba. I mean, apart from the obvious. Anyway, Celia bustles in just then, and Patrick trots over to tell her he's going to New York with Annie. Celia is not having it, reminding him that they always spend the holiday together. Patrick tells her how very excited he is about New York, and Celia is forced to switch gears, lying that she had big plans for the Bachelors to spend Thanksgiving with the...Buzzes? Patrick gets excited about that, at which Annie looks up sharply, seeing she's losing this fight. Patrick asks if Annie can come for dinner too, to which Celia offers a gracious "What do I care, at this point?" Patrick turns back around, asking Annie, "How exciting is this?!" Annie whines that she hasn't seen her family in months: "I wanted to go home!" Patrick calmly tells her she should go, then. Annie says she wanted to go home with him, and Patrick says he knows, but that this dinner at the Inn (which, frankly, he could have any other day of the year) is "huge" for him: "I thought you'd be excited for me." Annie very slowly says, "I am always excited for you. But what about me?" Good question -- though you'd think she'd be less surprised to be let down on an occasion like this by someone who's never been in a relationship before in his life, and was raised alone by his weird-ass mother. Celia openly eavesdrops as Annie spits, "I guess I'm going home alone?" Patrick guesses so. Annie: "Patrick, you need to storm out right now, because I work here and I can't." Heh. Patrick does more of a wander out than a storm, strictly speaking. Celia manages to look very slightly chastened.