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Jonah and Riley are still at odds over that whole cheating-on-each-other thing. Relationships are so complicated. Their petty differences take a backseat when The Complex becomes overrun by Detective Rodriguez's crime squad, who are looking for Auggie, whose blood was found on the murder weapon found last episode. Riley is aware of his whereabouts and withholds that information from the police, making it way too convenient for Jonah to get even more angry over Auggie. Jonah's sick of all this Auggie business and decides to take some time away from Riley by helping out with a publicity emergency of Ella's. Meanwhile, Riley contacts Auggie online to try and find out some more information about his involvement in Sydney's death. His cryptic responses lead her to believe she could be wrong about her friend. She chooses to turn him in. Good one, Riles.
On the other side of the relationship, Jonah goes off to help Ella, who is meeting with the renowned German director, Franz Keppler, in hopes that she can convince him to sign a publicity deal with WPK at the request of Caleb. Keppler happens to be a favorite of Jonah's. Are we sure this isn't Quentin Tarantino using a German alias? They meet at Coal for lunch and Keppler immediately begins aggressively trying to hit on Ella. Jonah, being the pal that he is, steps in and starts pretending to be Ella's fiancée, much to her delight. She's so pleased with even getting to pretend to be involved with Jonah that they do a great job of swaying Franz to sign with WPK. Yay! But then Ella has to deal with the reality that this thing with Jonah was all fake. Boo! Ella tries to use this as an opportunity to point out to Jonah how natural they are together compared to him and Riley, but he takes offense and gives Ella a harsh reality check. He's meant to be with Riley -- not her, he asserts. Ella is about as devastated as she can be. I'm about as angry at a fictional man as I can be.
Lauren's a tired whore. She's falling behind in her medical studies and drawing the ire of Dr. Mancini. Something has to give. Luckily, David decides to be a dumbass and kidnap his little brother, Noah, for the day to take him to a carnival. While there, Noah has a nasty fall and gets seriously injured. David has to rush him to the hospital and naturally seeks out Lauren for help so he can avoid having his father find out that he took Noah. Lauren can't avoid that, nor can she avoid being the doctor treating Noah because she has a Hippocratic Oath tramp stamp. Dr. Mancini takes notice of Lauren's skillful care of Noah and of David's love for his little brother. Lauren also takes notice of the little brother love and begins to take some interest in David, who comes on to her. He claims he's given up his cat burglary because of her. They kiss, but Lauren stops it before it can go any further because she knows she can't get involved as long as she's a whore.
Violet has been summoned to appear in court for a resisting arrest charge. She remembers that she's got a blackmail gift card redeemable at Dr. Mancini. She threatens again to show his wife the video she took of them getting naughty if he won't use his connections to get her a good lawyer pro bono. Turns out the judge on her case is a good friend of Michael's due to those same connections, which means the tables are turned on Violet, since he can simply put in a bad word about her to the judge. Violet's forced to delete that pesky video, setting Dr. Mancini free from ginger tyranny.
Oh yeah. This whole time, Auggie was in Mexico. Lucky him.
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Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, Obscure Sports Reference, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Naked legs slide under sheets to a bottle of champagne in a bucket. Lauren and some guy have just finished up and Lauren's clock watching. The guy tells her she's amazing. Lauren just rolls her eyes and gives the most unconvincing, "So are you." At this rate, not even Craigslist pervs are going to want you, Lauren. She's ready to go, but the guy wants her to stay until sunrise for an extra grand. She's all his.
Fade transition to another bed at the Cold Love Nest where Jonah and Riley are sleeping in the anti-spoon position. Strangely, Jonah's hair looks really long on his pillow like he has it in a ponytail. That's all that's interesting about this.
Pan transition to Violet carefully reading over a document. Slash cuts over the text reveal that it is a court summon for Violet under the charge of resisting arrest.
The sunset transitions us to Lauren hopping into the backseat of a car to shamefully change out of her hooker uniform.
Back at the complex, David is on the phone as he walks out into the courtyard. He's asking if someone's sure there won't be anyone home. He hangs up just as Lauren walks into the courtyard in scrubs. They exchange quick pleasantries before David has to scoot off. Lauren quickly runs into Ella who greets her with a teasing, "Lauren! Long night of making people feel better?" which Lauren quickly deflects with her serious doctor voice. "Let's see, we had two car accidents and a kidney failure [and a lot of stuff that was totally not having sex for money...]" She starts to walk off to go get a quick nap before rounds, but Ella stops her with concern on her face to say, "Hey... take care of yourself." Lauren nods back that she will heed the encrypted whore warning.
It's passive-aggressive stunted conversation time at the Cold Love Nest. Jonah asks Riley if she's just forgotten to set back their clocks or if she's actually an hour late for work. Teacher conferences, she explains. She doesn't need to be in to work early. Riley fires back a question about Jonah working on his treatment for Kendra. Oh, he's working on his treatment of Kendra, alright. After all this riveting discussion has subsided, Riley finally breaches the subject. "Where are we, Jonah?" Jonah doesn't know, but I do. You guys are in the Cold Love Nest. I've only been saying it for these last nine weeks or so. Riley states the obvious that they shouldn't be kissing other people if they're engaged. Jonah's attempt at wisdom: "Too bad in life there's no undo command." I wish I could command + Z this conversation. Jonah's bright idea has to do with taking a road trip for himself to get his thoughts together. This rubs Riley the wrong way because she was just about to suggest they spend some quality time together. Incompatibility, much? Just then there's some loud banging outside the apartment. They rush out together to see what's going on and find Detective Rodriguez and probably a good percentage of the LAPD scrambling all over The Complex Courtyard. Riley asks Rod what this is all about. The detective asks if they know where Auggie is. The police found Sydney's murder weapon covered in his blood. Auggie is wanted for her murder. Oh, geez... is this investigation going to follow the suspects in the same order we were presented them? Jonah turns to Riley as if to say, "You kissed that guy."
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WPK. Ella walks in to Caleb's office where he's tossing around a football by himself. "Boys and their balls," is Ella's opening statement. Caleb asks Ella to clear her schedule for the afternoon because corporate wants a conference call to go over their branch's earnings. Ella's thrilled that she is wanted as Caleb's wingman in the call. In fact, that is not what Caleb wants. He wants her to take over his lunch meeting with a client during the call. The client is Franz Keppler, a German director Ella is not too fond of. The reason behind Caleb insisting on Ella making this guy happy is that at the meeting with corporate, Caleb plans to say they have Franz secured as a client. He'd be lying to his boss if Ella doesn't come through. Makes sense. Ella's on it.
At the Deadbeat Dad Mansion, Michael is walking out of the house in a hurry with his wife as she nags him. His phone rings during all the hectic discussion and he looks down to see it's Violet calling. He tries not to let this bother him, but it obviously does as he answers his wife's questions. He and his wife agree to meet later and hammer out the details when their son comes running up to them, being chased by the maid. He says he wants to say bye to mommy, but Michael picks him up to give him a kiss. The kid reiterates he said "mommy." Even the son you chose to raise doesn't like you, Doc. Dr. and Mrs. Mancini give the child back to the housekeeper and promptly turn their backs to go about their business. They drive off in their separate vehicles and we see that David is parked out in front of their house, staked out. The maid is still chasing after the kid when David enters the yard and greets her in Spanish. Really? Then the kid sees David and runs up to him for a big hug. Housekeeper Leticia doesn't feel good about this, but David reassures her. David walks off with his little brother. This can't possibly go wrong.
Cold Love Nest. Jonah is doing his conspiracy theory thing again. He's fairly certain that when your blood ends up with the blood of the victim on a murder weapon, more than likely, you committed that murder. This guy's good. Riley isn't ready to convict her close friend just yet, and it doesn't help that Jonah isn't the most objective guy in regards to Auggie. It's also convenient, in Jonah's opinion, that Auggie has disappeared upon the discovery of this knife. Riley lets it slip that Auggie is just probably off on his surfing trip. What surfing trip? Jonah grills Riley until she admits that she kind of sort of maybe knows where Auggie is and has withheld that information from the authorities. Jonah gets upset over this because it's just stupid to risk going to prison for aiding a fugitive and because he thinks Riley might not really know Auggie as well as she thinks she does. He's interrupted by his phone going off with a text. It's from Ella. She needs him at WPK ASAP because she's having some sort of emergency. "Of course she is," Riley sneers, "You better hurry." Jonah's had enough. "This might end up being a blessing in disguise. I was talking about spending some time apart. Why not start today?" He grabs his stuff and walks out while Riley just shakes her head in jilted disbelief. Take that, fiancée!
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Carnival time! That's carnival, not Carnivàle. Sorry. David's with his little brother and he sets down a ground rule: they are not leaving until they ride every single ride! "Why can't we do this every day?" David's kid brother asks. "That's a little complicated, bud" Aww...
WPK. Jonah enters through the front door to find Ella standing in front of the front desk, waiting for him. "Auf wiedersehen, Mr. Miller!" she yells out. "That kind of means 'goodbye.'" Ella disinterestedly and without embarrassment: "Oh." Jonah wants to know why he's there. Ella does the self-centered sales pitch about needing help wooing this German director. Jonah is a little irritated with this considering the real emergency is going on back at their home where there are cops raiding the place looking for Auggie. Ella takes this news in a totally not suspicious way by turning her back to Jonah and carefully asking questions about whether Auggie has been arrested. Jonah can almost be as self-centered as Ella, as evidenced by him completely missing this suspicious behavior and turning the discussion around to include Riley's fascination with Auggie. Ella turns around quickly at this opportunity to drive a wedge between the couple. Jonah stops the advance to ask who this director guy is. Elle tells him it's Franz and he flips. Jonah's such a fanboy. He's such a fanboy that he can't believe it and thinks this has to be some sort of joke. No joke.
Ella just wants to use Jonah for his knowledge of Keppler's films in lieu of her doing her own research. What are friends for? Jonah will be posing as a new WPK publicist as they have lunch with the director at Coal.
At ULA, Dr. Mancini is doing rounds with his interns. Lauren is visibly tired so Michael decides to call on her with a tough question, which she misses. Someone else gets it and the doctor dismisses the team. Lauren tries to hurry past him, but he stops her so he can bark on about her lack of preparation. She insists she can handle the grind. Michael just threatens that there are a great number of students who would kill for her spot on the team. He walks away to let Lauren chew on that...
And enters into his office where Violet surprises him with the video of them getting intimate, which is playing on his computer. He shuts it off and she pops out of nowhere to surprise him in the flesh. Vlah! Crazy eyes! She needs a favor, she says devilishly.
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Michael does not take kindly to this blackmail business, but Violet lays out her plan anyway. She tells him about her arraignment and asks him to find her a lawyer. Michael's pissed off that he's already been providing her a monthly check and now she wants him to try to pull strings for a potential criminal. Violet just reminds him of the leverage she has over him and his marriage. "People like you -- they don't get away with things like this," he lectures her. "You would know," she fires back. Ooo, BURN! Violet drives home the threat. Either get her a lawyer or she'll get him a divorce.
Coal. Ella and Jonah enter and spot Franz. Jonah's so excited. They introduce themselves and Franz immediately comes on to Ella. Jonah seems to be a bit jealous, and actually is jealous. Either that or he thinks he's being some sort of hero when he swoops in to interrupt Franz's very forward physical flirting and puts his arm around Ella to claim her as his "fiancée." This shocks both Franz and Ella, but Ella quickly gets comfortable with the idea and starts nuzzling her nose on Jonah's. She enjoys the moment for a bit before going back to business mode. She's ready to talk publicity deal.
Complex Courtyard. Cops are still everywhere. Violet looks on with a cup of tea clasped in her hands. Riley comes up behind her and they begin discussing how silly it is to think Auggie could've been the murderer. Violet starts to walk away after they agree on this, but Riley wants to talk a little more about Auggie. Doesn't she always? She wants to know if Auggie had been acting strange lately. She figures who better to ask than his close co-worker and neighbor? Violet doesn't think there was anything out of the ordinary besides Auggie brutally beating his boss to a pulp and maybe losing his job, but that's not strange at all. Riley's like, "Wha wha what?!" Then Violet throws the knockout punch she's been waiting to throw at Riley all along. She tells Riley that she took care of Auggie that night. "Auggie and I... have become... intimate." She beams with stalker's glee. Riley tries her best to fake happiness for her competition.
Carnival. The goal of the editing of the beginning of this scene is to make you feel as nauseous as you would on a carnival ride, apparently. It obscures the fact that David and his little brother are having a blast while I'm puking into a wastebasket. They're coming down from all their fun when Noah (the little brother) asks David to win him a prize stuffed animal. David playfully pretends like he won't, but just then he gets a phone call from Leticia, the housekeeper. As David reassures her they'll be home before Noah's parents return, Noah is off trying to climb up a giant fence where the teddy bears are hanging. David warns him not to, but he does anyway, like any normal kid would do. David's just hanging up with Leticia when Noah reaches the top, grabs his bear, loses his grip and falls hard to the ground. David rushes over and picks him up in his arms before taking off running.
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ULA. David runs into the hospital frantically with Noah in his arms. He asks everyone in sight for Lauren. She finds him and they get Noah into a hospital bed. Lauren starts barking out orders to a nurse like this is Mercy and Noah's going to die. He just has a broken arm and maybe a concussion. The nurse tries to get David to leave, but he's staying put, however, he doesn't want Dr. Mancini to know about this. Too late for that. They've already called him. David advises Lauren to switch out with another doctor so she doesn't get involved in his mess, but Lauren is staying put. "This child needs medical attention and I'm giving it to him." Right on, hooker.
Violet is all smiles on the phone with Auggie's voicemail. She's starting to be entirely stalkerish when there's a knock at her door. It's Michael. He sort of just waltzes into Violet's apartment to tell her that he doesn't need to find her a lawyer because he knows the judge presiding over her case very well. In fact, he performed quadruple bypass surgery on his wife, so the guy holds Dr. Mancini in rather high regard. Michael's tone here is pure smugness as he sets up his own blackmail, which is not unlike voicemail. Record your message after the tone. Being so close to the judge means Michael can influence him for Violet... or against her. "Your move," the good doctor orders Violet. She admits defeat and pulls out her phone to erase the video. Just to clarify, Michael tells Violet that if one frame of that video ends up anywhere else, he will tell the judge to lock her up. "Who says doctors don't make house calls anymore?" This doctor just operated on my funny bone. They're going to have to amputate.
Franz walks with Ella and Jonah who are walking with their arms around each other. Franz wants to know how they met. The Queen of Spin takes over to make sure Jonah doesn't screw up their fake engagement. Ella tells a story of them meeting at their apartment complex and him having a girlfriend at the time... wait, this isn't fake at all! Ella leans in to kiss Jonah softly. He's left in a daze as Franz decides he wants to do a romantic comedy , inspired by their love. Sounds good Franz. Better them than Jonah and Riley. Franz says his goodbyes and declares he will seriously consider WPK. He leaves the fake couple alone. Ella declares she's impressed with Jonah's acting, which he assumes means their fake relationship, but she really meant his fake publicist persona. She felt their fake relationship was simply natural and he chose to make that move because it's what he's secretly always wanted. They've just been compatible since day one, more so than some real couples Ella knows. "And by that you mean me and Riley?" Jonah asks. Genius. Ella advices him that he should explore his options, with "explore" being the keyword. "What does that mean exactly?" Jonah is beginning to be as dumb as Riley. Ella moves in for the kill. There's a hotel down the street. She can cancel all her meetings and he can find out what he's been missing. Jonah stands there frozen with the possibility. Go, man, go!
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Jonah is somehow now walking away from Ella in disgust. He cites his engagement. "What does engagement even mean?" Ella waxes philosophical. She thinks he only proposed to Riley because he's unsure about his career and wants something stable in his life. Jonah resents this assessment and attributes their current problems to growing pains. Yup, it's always growing pains with relationships, Jonah. Ella reiterates that Jonah and Riley simply are nothing alike. He's adventurous (really?) and Riley's boring (agree). Jonah turns on Ella for her criticism of Riley. He's OK with her bad-mouthing him, but any problem Ella has with Riley is simply her own problem because he's meant to be with Riley. Jonah's delivery is particularly cold and harsh and he just walks away, leaving Ella completely off balance by herself. She looks utterly devastated and I'm utterly pissed off.
Cold Love Nest. Riley hops onto her laptop and onto a chat client wh
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ere she messages Auggie. He responds. Transcript:
RIles17: Hey u there?
AugKirk: Yeah. What's up?
RIles17: What u doing in Mexico?
AugKirk: Struggling.
RIles17: Struggling with... ?
AugKirk: I've ruined my life.
RIles17: What did you do?
AugKirk: I'd rather not say.
Riley's conscience finally catches up to her and she rummages through some graded papers to find Detective Rodriguez's business card. She stares at it as she contemplates calling.
ULA. David sits with Noah with a worried look on his face. Laurens stands in the doorway watching. David's obviously shaken. Dr. and Mrs. Mancini enter the room and rush over to Noah. Lauren gives them the rundown of the injuries as David sort of lingers off to the side. Mrs. Mancini turns to him to say he's never to come near Noah again. Michael motions over to David so they can have an aside. Dr. Mancini starts to threaten David with pressing charges if he ever tries something like this again, but David totally owns up to what he did and admits he wasn't thinking. He just wanted to spend time with his little brother whom he loves. This catches Michael off guard, but he still has to be a hard ass to David no matter how disarming a declaration he makes. Dr. Mancini walks off to check on his son and deal out some praise to Lauren. She absorbs the praise awkwardly.
Jonah comes home and calls out for Riley. She's in the bedroom moping over her contemplation of having to call the police on her friend. Jonah lets Riley know he trusts her judgment because he would want her to trust him in the same situation, which now you know, ladies, is code from your spouse for: "I totally could've banged my close friend today, but I puss'd out." Riley has already moved on to thinking Auggie might need to be assessed by the proper authorities. Jonah supports Riley in whatever decision she makes. Riley decides to dial the cops as they hold hands.
WPK. Ella's called into Caleb's office. Franz has signed with WPK after all and has mentioned to Caleb that it was Ella and her boyfriend who convinced him. Caleb happened to get a name from Franz on who her boyfriend was. It's bad timing that for once Caleb would be encouraging for Ella when he goes on to praise her taste in Jonah. When Ella insists Jonah is engaged to someone else, Caleb insists that if he's pretending to be her boyfriend, he obviously wants to be her boyfriend. Ella brushes it off and claims Jonah is so not her type as she does an about-face and walks out of Caleb's office on the verge of... I guess not tears. She's a robot, after all.
The Complex Pool. Violet swims over to Lauren who's on a floaty chair, reading a book, and almost splashes her. Violet apologizes and then sort of invites herself to move in with Lauren and Ella. Lauren politely declines the self-invitation and Violet skulks out of the pool. Ella enters the scene and comes up to David who is also apparently in this scene and is working on getting his drunk on. They ask each other about their respective shitty days until Ella declares that it helps that they finally found out who Sydney's murderer was. David and Lauren are like, "Guh?" They can't believe it was Auggie. "I'm as broken up about it as you guys," Ella mutters under her breath with little regard as she pulls out a bottle of wine. Riley and Jonah happen up just then, holding hands and ask what's up. Lauren asks if they heard about Auggie. They act shocked, and bitter Ella subtly attacks Riley by wondering aloud how she could've been running partners with the devil and not suspected anything. Riley claims Auggie not to be the devil and excuses herself. Ella takes the opportunity to privately apologize to Jonah for earlier, blaming her forwardness on being drunk. Michael enters the scene and asks for a word with David. They head up to David's apartment.
David prepares himself for "David Beatdown 2." Michael gives David a bit of fatherly lecture before David reiterates that he didn't want to hurt Noah. Michael simply tells David very calmly that he appreciates him wanting to spend time with his little brother. The doctor shows himself out of David's apartment while David wonders what the hell that was.
Lauren lounges by the pool, studying. David comes out to say, "Hey," and continues to thank her for helping him out with Noah. He knows she'll be a great doctor. Lauren took notice of how devoted David was to his little brother. It definitely caught her attention. Lauren deals out some advice that David is smart and could be anything he wants to be. She wants him to stop stealing. David already has stopped because he doesn't want Lauren to ever look at him again the way she looked at him when she caught him. He wants her to look at him the way she's staring at him longingly now. They kiss passionately. Lauren pulls away. Odd flashbacks of hookery inform Lauren's decision to tell David she just can't do this and she's sorry. David's sorry, too. He walks off. Single tear rolls down Lauren's cheek. This is what it sounds like when doctor ho's cry.
Week: Amanda Woodward
Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, Obscure Sports Reference, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
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