Episode Report Card Pablo G: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The One About Auggie Without Auggie
By Pablo G | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.10.2009
Ella just wants to use Jonah for his knowledge of Keppler's films in lieu of her doing her own research. What are friends for? Jonah will be posing as a new WPK publicist as they have lunch with the director at Coal.At ULA, Dr. Mancini is doing rounds with his interns. Lauren is visibly tired so Michael decides to call on her with a tough question, which she misses. Someone else gets it and the doctor dismisses the team. Lauren tries to hurry past him, but he stops her so he can bark on about her lack of preparation. She insists she can handle the grind. Michael just threatens that there are a great number of students who would kill for her spot on the team. He walks away to let Lauren chew on that...
And enters into his office where Violet surprises him with the video of them getting intimate, which is playing on his computer. He shuts it off and she pops out of nowhere to surprise him in the flesh. Vlah! Crazy eyes! She needs a favor, she says devilishly.
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Michael does not take kindly to this blackmail business, but Violet lays out her plan anyway. She tells him about her arraignment and asks him to find her a lawyer. Michael's pissed off that he's already been providing her a monthly check and now she wants him to try to pull strings for a potential criminal. Violet just reminds him of the leverage she has over him and his marriage. "People like you -- they don't get away with things like this," he lectures her. "You would know," she fires back. Ooo, BURN! Violet drives home the threat. Either get her a lawyer or she'll get him a divorce.
Coal. Ella and Jonah enter and spot Franz. Jonah's so excited. They introduce themselves and Franz immediately comes on to Ella. Jonah seems to be a bit jealous, and actually is jealous. Either that or he thinks he's being some sort of hero when he swoops in to interrupt Franz's very forward physical flirting and puts his arm around Ella to claim her as his "fiancée." This shocks both Franz and Ella, but Ella quickly gets comfortable with the idea and starts nuzzling her nose on Jonah's. She enjoys the moment for a bit before going back to business mode. She's ready to talk publicity deal.
Complex Courtyard. Cops are still everywhere. Violet looks on with a cup of tea clasped in her hands. Riley comes up behind her and they begin discussing how silly it is to think Auggie could've been the murderer. Violet starts to walk away after they agree on this, but Riley wants to talk a little more about Auggie. Doesn't she always? She wants to know if Auggie had been acting strange lately. She figures who better to ask than his close co-worker and neighbor? Violet doesn't think there was anything out of the ordinary besides Auggie brutally beating his boss to a pulp and maybe losing his job, but that's not strange at all. Riley's like, "Wha wha what?!" Then Violet throws the knockout punch she's been waiting to throw at Riley all along. She tells Riley that she took care of Auggie that night. "Auggie and I... have become... intimate." She beams with stalker's glee. Riley tries her best to fake happiness for her competition.
Carnival. The goal of the editing of the beginning of this scene is to make you feel as nauseous as you would on a carnival ride, apparently. It obscures the fact that David and his little brother are having a blast while I'm puking into a wastebasket. They're coming down from all their fun when Noah (the little brother) asks David to win him a prize stuffed animal. David playfully pretends like he won't, but just then he gets a phone call from Leticia, the housekeeper. As David reassures her they'll be home before Noah's parents return, Noah is off trying to climb up a giant fence where the teddy bears are hanging. David warns him not to, but he does anyway, like any normal kid would do. David's just hanging up with Leticia when Noah reaches the top, grabs his bear, loses his grip and falls hard to the ground. David rushes over and picks him up in his arms before taking off running.
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ULA. David runs into the hospital frantically with Noah in his arms. He asks everyone in sight for Lauren. She finds him and they get Noah into a hospital bed. Lauren starts barking out orders to a nurse like this is Mercy and Noah's going to die. He just has a broken arm and maybe a concussion. The nurse tries to get David to leave, but he's staying put, however, he doesn't want Dr. Mancini to know about this. Too late for that. They've already called him. David advises Lauren to switch out with another doctor so she doesn't get involved in his mess, but Lauren is staying put. "This child needs medical attention and I'm giving it to him." Right on, hooker.
Violet is all smiles on the phone with Auggie's voicemail. She's starting to be entirely stalkerish when there's a knock at her door. It's Michael. He sort of just waltzes into Violet's apartment to tell her that he doesn't need to find her a lawyer because he knows the judge presiding over her case very well. In fact, he performed quadruple bypass surgery on his wife, so the guy holds Dr. Mancini in rather high regard. Michael's tone here is pure smugness as he sets up his own blackmail, which is not unlike voicemail. Record your message after the tone. Being so close to the judge means Michael can influence him for Violet... or against her. "Your move," the good doctor orders Violet. She admits defeat and pulls out her phone to erase the video. Just to clarify, Michael tells Violet that if one frame of that video ends up anywhere else, he will tell the judge to lock her up. "Who says doctors don't make house calls anymore?" This doctor just operated on my funny bone. They're going to have to amputate.
Franz walks with Ella and Jonah who are walking with their arms around each other. Franz wants to know how they met. The Queen of Spin takes over to make sure Jonah doesn't screw up their fake engagement. Ella tells a story of them meeting at their apartment complex and him having a girlfriend at the time... wait, this isn't fake at all! Ella leans in to kiss Jonah softly. He's left in a daze as Franz decides he wants to do a romantic comedy next, inspired by their love. Sounds good Franz. Better them than Jonah and Riley. Franz says his goodbyes and declares he will seriously consider WPK. He leaves the fake couple alone. Ella declares she's impressed with Jonah's acting, which he assumes means their fake relationship, but she really meant his fake publicist persona. She felt their fake relationship was simply natural and he chose to make that move because it's what he's secretly always wanted. They've just been compatible since day one, more so than some real couples Ella knows. "And by that you mean me and Riley?" Jonah asks. Genius. Ella advices him that he should explore his options, with "explore" being the keyword. "What does that mean exactly?" Jonah is beginning to be as dumb as Riley. Ella moves in for the kill. There's a hotel down the street. She can cancel all her meetings and he can find out what he's been missing. Jonah stands there frozen with the possibility. Go, man, go!
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Jonah is somehow now walking away from Ella in disgust. He cites his engagement. "What does engagement even mean?" Ella waxes philosophical. She thinks he only proposed to Riley because he's unsure about his career and wants something stable in his life. Jonah resents this assessment and attributes their current problems to growing pains. Yup, it's always growing pains with relationships, Jonah. Ella reiterates that Jonah and Riley simply are nothing alike. He's adventurous (really?) and Riley's boring (agree). Jonah turns on Ella for her criticism of Riley. He's OK with her bad-mouthing him, but any problem Ella has with Riley is simply her own problem because he's meant to be with Riley. Jonah's delivery is particularly cold and harsh and he just walks away, leaving Ella completely off balance by herself. She looks utterly devastated and I'm utterly pissed off.
Cold Love Nest. Riley hops onto her laptop and onto a chat client wh