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Picking up where we left off last episode, Jonah, fueled by his jealous rage over finding out Riley kissed Auggie, is still out for drinks at a bar with the film development exec, Kendra. Things progress naturally and Kendra eventually leans in to kiss Jonah, who doesn't stop her right away. His conscience catches up way too late to prevent irreparable damage to his engagement, but just in time for him to blow his chances with this girl who is perfect for him. Good job, Jonah. He comes home to an oblivious and still-annoying Riley who tries to badger him about where he was all night. Jonah makes up some excuses and tries to avoid the issue until Riley invites herself to help Jonah out with filming a wedding. They agree to try to have fun with each other, but it devolves into a confrontation where Jonah reveals he knows Riley kissed Auggie and admits he let Kendra kiss him. Riley, informed by whatever misconnecting synapses in her brain that make her Riley, decides to go end her friendship with Auggie. This doesn't please Jonah, especially since he still plans to professionally keep seeing Kendra. The perfect little couple is left to ponder their own crapulence.
Auggie is not having a good day. Not one bit. Marcello is still busting his balls at Coal. Nothing Auggie does seems to please Chef. Auggie is even inventing food and it doesn't impress his boss. It becomes evident Marcello either just doesn't like Auggie or has some sort of problem with giving him his due credit when Marcello steals the very recipe Auggie tries to use to impress him and passes it off as his own to impress his own boss. Auggie, the patient and tolerant guy that he is, lets this slide, but when Marcello continues to be an asshole and makes some out-of-line sexual remarks about Riley -- who just stopped by to friend break-up with Auggie -- Auggie snaps and goes ballistic on Marcello. He has to be pulled off of him by about five cooks. Later, Auggie broods in his apartment about probably losing his job when Violet opportunistically shows up to "cheer him up." They totally get it on. Finally. Is that what we were waiting for? Maybe now Violet can ride off into the sunset.
David is the latest of the tenants to get a visit from good ol' Detective Rodriguez. David gets brought up to speed about the latest break in the case that came up when Rodriguez investigated Ella, which has to do with the private investigator Elle had hired to break into Sydney's apartment the night of her death. This means that once again we need David and Ella to get their stories straight. This time the motivation is because Rodriguez alludes to suspecting David is up to some illegal ways of living beyond his means and vows to bring this to light if David doesn't come clean. David begins to suspect himself of Sydney's murder because he can get angry when drunk, as seen in a flashback of an argument between him and Sydney. More flashbacks reveal to both us and David that he woke up after Sydney's murder, covered in blood with a knife in his hand. In the flashback, he runs to a construction yard and buries the knife, but when he tries to unearth the knife, he can't find it. Turns out the police have it now. Sucks to be David.
Meanwhile, WPK is in crisis over one of its clients overdosing. It's a guy named Jessie who is some sort of tween idol cross between Zac Efron and a Jonas brother. They're in complete damage control over this thing. Just so happens Jessie was admitted to ULA where Elle figures she can pull strings with Lauren. Turns out she can't. Lauren refuses to doctor (ha!) medical records to make it seem like Jessie just had an allergic reaction, even when Ella finds lots of Lauren's fancy new lingerie and an envelope filled with cash that leads her to suspect Lauren's hooker lifestyle. WPK is willing to pay Lauren $50,000 in hush money, but Lauren insists she won't sell out her medical ethics, which are apparently completely independent of her bodily ethics. Ella is forced to do a complete 180 and propose that WPK just let the story get out so it will humble their client, convince him to get clean and give them control over how the story gets spun. I guess? Ella and Lauren come to an understanding that they will not talk about the giant, slutty elephant in the room. Can you say BFF!?
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vloggers Val and Beth think the cast members look like Wii avatars in TV is the Answer!
Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, Obscure Sports Reference, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Remember how Jonah skipped out on Riley at the end of last episode to go have drinks with Kendra the movie executive? He's still there! And he's having the time of his life. They're definitely enjoying each other's company, even as they argue over their taste in directors. Jonah obviously has his hard-on for Tarantino, but Kendra finally sets his ass straight. According to Kendra, it's all about Kubrick, baby. Riley who? They agree to disagree, and Kendra decides to take their friendship to the level. I like how quickly this girl works. She wants to know about Jonah, like, know about him. She reaches out and rests her hand on his. "The Jonah Miller story starts out slow, but then there are a few good twists," he says. Oh, God, I hope so.
We cut to Ella lying on her apartment floor doing crunches and I cut to needing oxygen as the camera pans over her taut, contracting... ihagwixgev3nas. Lauren comes home from what we can assume was some whoring. She's surprised to find Ella home, to which Ella replies she had a client cancel a meeting. Naturally, Ella senses an opportunity to be nosey about her friend. All of the signs seem to point to Lauren sleeping with a married guy. I'm sure there have been some married men in there somewhere, Ella. There's some effort from Ella to try to get Lauren to confide, but nothing doing.
Back at the bar of infidelity, Jonah is finishing up telling some unfunny anecdote involving a guy running from a dog while carrying a chicken. This guy -- full of win. Coming down from the laughter high, Jonah is so happy he's found someone who "gets [his] vision" and he tells Kendra so. He stops himself so he can tell himself that he can't believe he said that without irony. I can't believe this guy is talking to himself and still attracting this woman. He forgot to address himself as "self" first. That's probably how he's doing this. Kendra has seen enough. She's ready to flop the river Yahtzee. Very deliberately, she shifts on her barstool to lean in and kiss Jonah. Jonah doesn't back away; at least, not at first he doesn't. The little angel on Jonah's shoulder which is probably the guy who's kept Jonah and Riley together this whole time (we hate him, yes?) makes Jonah reveal to Kendra that he is engaged. She, of course, flips and calls for the check. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Jonah.
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At Coal, Auggie's doing his cook thing. Violet comes in to gush from at least two orifices about Auggie's awesomeness. OK, I apologize; that was terrible, but it's totally what's happening. She's going on about how what Auggie is cooking smells great. Auggie offers to let her try it, but instructs her to close her eyes first. Not sure why, but Violet is hesitant to do so. Finally, she agrees and Auggie proceeds to spoon feed her his concoction. She chews, eyes closed for way too long. She points out she noticed a hint of saffron. I'm just mad about saffron. Auggie seems impressed Violet has developed a bit of a palate. Just then, Marcello comes in to talk shit like is his wont. He takes the opportunity to zing Violet this time as well, wondering aloud if Violet's aspiration is to be a cook. Auggie starts to tell Marcello about his latest food invention, but Marcello isn't sold on the idea. Auggie convinces him to try it after they argue over the culinary theory behind his concept. Marcello has to try really hard this time not to be impressed. Auggie hopes that if he makes some changes, this dish can be considered to be on the new menu Marcello is making at the request of Mason, the owner of Coal. Marcello thinks not. Violet tries to defend Auggie's work, saying she would order it if it was on the menu. "Not in this restaurant," is Marcello's reply. It's like he's their asshole father telling them that while they're under his roof, they'll eat pork chops -- only a lot less macho. The guy's wearing a smock, for crying out loud.
It's "random make-out with a strange woman" time for David. They're out in the dark of The Complex Courtyard by themselves. David props the girl up on a ledge. Things get heated and the girl stops to ask if David wants to get high. Since you put it that way, sure. She pulls out a perfectly rolled marijuana cigarette and puts it between her teeth to transfer it to David's lips. Detective Rodriguez shows up to kill the buzz. The chick blows the joint (yup) and leaves David to talk with the detective when he clarifies he's there investigating homicide, not small-time drug possession. Rodriguez is all about the posturing, but he reminds us that his investigation has actually made a little progress through the Ella avenue. I wish I could say the same thing for myself. Rodriguez wants David to come clean about his and Ella's alibi being fake so he can get her on an obstruction of justice charge, but David won't turn in his friend. The detective turns it around on David, citing noise complaints from neighbors which paint a picture of a rocky relationship between him and Sydney. David says they had problems like any couple, but Sydney was there for him. FLASHBACK. David kneels at his mother's grave, bawling his eyes out. A hankie extends to him from off camera. David looks up to meet Sydney for the first time. She gives him some words of comfort that deviate from the standard "time heals all wounds" bullshit. David appreciates Sydney being real with him. Sydney asks him out to breakfast on the spot. They shake hands for way too long as the camera rotates around them in a weird Matrix-y way. Slow-motion blurry cross-fade transition to them making love in Sydney's bed. END FLASHBACK. Rodriguez just wants David to confirm him and Ella weren't together the night of the murder. The detective isn't a slouch and has deduced that David must have some illegal way of living beyond his means. He threatens David with exposing him if he doesn't come clean about the alibi.
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Love Nest. Jonah lies awake on his back to Riley who is fast asleep facing away from him in the fetal position. Her alarm goes off and she stirs awake. Naturally, Riley wants to know where her significant other was when he went AWOL the night before. Jonah avoids giving a definitive answer. Luckily, Jonah checks a text to find his buddy Travis can't help him with a film shoot of a wedding today, so he needs to get over there. Perfect! He can get away from Riley. Riley offers to tag along and help. Shit!
At WPK, Caleb is calling shots on his phone. Somebody named Jesse Roberts has overdosed. Caleb snares Ella to get her up to speed on what's going on with this kid. Jesse is stable and at ULA. Ella connects this storyline for us to Lauren. Thanks, Ella. Would've never thought of that.
At Coal, Violet enters to warn Auggie that Mason, the owner, is on his way in. He walks in with Marcello and... is that Rick Fox? Never mind. I've already stopped caring whether it is or not. Mason/Rick Fox is eager to see what Marcello has come up with for new entrees. Marcello lays out a number of plates in front of him, to which Mason complains they look too small of portions. Marcello gets a look of panic on his face before declaring he's got one entrée up his sleeve that he thought of last night. He then details Auggie's recipe right in front of him. Auggie is simmering in his own juices and asks Marcello through his teeth what kind of sauce he'll be using. Marcello responds with Auggie's saffron idea. Rick Fox probably couldn't care less and probably only understood one word out of all of that foodie talk, so he agrees to see what Marcello's got and they walk off together. Violet comes up to clarify that "that's, like, cooking plagiarism." Violet, that's, like, so insightful. Auggie rationalizes that he needs to follow the chain of command if he wants to ever get promoted. Violet isn't listening to all that jive. "From here, it looks like your chain is being yanked." From here, it looks like Violet just yanked it again.
Riley is being the annoying girlfriend already, as she and Jonah arrive at the wedding. Riley's still asking about what's bothering him. She can sense something's up. You think? You're not even married yet, and your fiancé is already trying to avoid you. Riley gets the great idea that they should try to have fun together today. Jonah grudgingly agrees. Who doesn't like fun?
ULA. Ella walks in to Jesse's hospital room. The guy looks a mess. Ella first makes sure the guy's OK and then tries to find out exactly what happened. Suddenly, it occurs to Ella to ask if Jesse has any allergies. Jesse is allergic to penicillin. YES! There's your spin right there. Ella's executive decision on this is to lock Jesse in his room and cut off his contact to the outside world. She implores him one final time to keep away from the nose candy, otherwise he'll "power lunch with River Phoenix." Jesse responds with a blank look. Ella, incredulously to herself: "Who's River Phoenix? Oh, God, kill me now." Love you, Ella. Lauren enters the room, wondering who paged her. Ella did, of course. Lauren and Ella step out of the room together so Ella can ask a favor. It's important that they keep this story from breaking, because Jesse is the biggest tween icon client WPK has. He's supposedly as big for them as Zac Efron and the Jonas Brothers rolled in one. She wants Lauren to fudge documents to say it was a penicillin reaction. Lauren is not cool with that at all. Then Ella starts doing her thing. Maybe WPK will make a nice donation to the hospital or Jesse could come read to kids in the children's ward when he gets better. Ella then plays the money card. She can offer Lauren a few thousand dollars in incentive. Let's allow the part-time hooker to ponder finances for a bit.
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WPK. Ella walks in the building and Caleb is already on her. Without really listening to Ella, he decides he doesn't want to take any risks and wants to pay Lauren $50,000. Ella tries to reason with him that this might not be a necessary expense, but Caleb has already said his piece. Ella turns around to find David. He wants to talk about his encounter with Detective Rodriguez. Ella gets a little fluttery, since she probably has a good idea what this is about. This is about David now being aware that Ella was lying even to him about what was going on the night of Syd's death. David is sure the private investigator Ella hired to break into Sydney's apartment didn't kill her. He's concerned because he's self-aware of how he can get when he's as drunk as he was on that night. Ella quips that she figures he just ends up in bed with some "double-bagger." Oh, Ella, you are a beacon of awesomeness in a sea of meh. David clarifies that he can get really angry when that drunk. FLASHBACK. Sydney is getting dressed up to go out and talking about it to David who's across the room, but David looks a mess and starts confronting her about sleeping with his dad. He grabs her violently by the arm as she tries to calm him down. He's crying and entirely upset because he says he loved her and he feels used. David calls Sydney a whore and she slaps him across the face. END FLASHBACK. Ella asks David if he really thinks he could've killed Sydney. He says he doesn't know.
Back at the wedding, Jonah's trying to get set up and Riley starts talking about their own wedding and how she wants a band. Jonah disagrees with that idea and makes a veiled remark about not thinking they were considering the other person's feelings on the matter. Just then, one of the bridesmaids comes over to say she wants them to make sure they capture how in love the bride and groom are on this day. Awkward.
Ella walks into Lauren's room looking for her, but she's gone, so she decides to snoop a little bit instead when she notices Lauren has some nice, new lingerie lying about. She walks into Lauren's closet and finds a fairly obvious envelope filled with a stack of hundreds. Lauren appears behind her and asks what Ella's doing, and Ella fires the same question right back at her, gloriously punctuating it by calling Lauren "pretty woman." I am changing Ella's name to Brevity, because she is the soul of wit.
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Ella is totally wise to what's going on, but Lauren refuses to admit defeat in the face of hooker exposure. She says the money is poker winnings from her dad, and she's dressed up for an intern luncheon. Ella humors Lauren, but persists in WPK's offer of $50,000 for the forged medical records. Lauren gets upset that Ella can't understand Lauren's career comes first. Funny, she didn't seem so mad about being accused of being a prostitute.
Back at the Wedding of Futures Past, Jonah is filming the vows, and it's all the standard cliché stuff. In it, there's of course mention of being completely honest with each other and blah blah blah. Jonah looks over to see Riley crying at how beautiful it all is. He goes over after the ceremony to talk to her and that's when he decides to reveal he kissed Kendra, but he douchedly uses it as a trap to spring on Riley so he can come down on her hard for kissing Auggie. That's dash cunning of him. He gets to cheat without any blame. He claims that he needed to tell Riley immediately after what he did and he can't understand how she could go weeks without telling him about Auggie. Jonah walks away from Riley without a resolution. It's very much like that Aaliyah song.
David's Porsche pulls up alongside a construction yard, and he suddenly has some fragmented flashes of sneaking into that very construction yard at night and then, FLASHBACK, he remembers he woke up the night of Syd's murder covered in blood with a knife in his hand. You'd think you'd remember something like that even if you were really drunk before you blacked out. He jumps out of bed and follows the trail of blood, which leads out of the apartment and to Sydney's body floating in the pool. Flash forward to David burying the knife in the construction yard. END FLASHBACK. David runs into the yard with a shovel and starts digging. There's no knife.
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At Coal. Marcello's being an asshole, but what's new? Riley walks up to Auggie with Violet and Riley asks for a moment of his time. They walk off into a quiet corner of the kitchen together and she tells him they can't be friends anymore because her relationship with Jonah comes first. Auggie's stunned, but he absorbs the blow to make this easier on the girl he obviously likes. That Auggie is a stand-up guy.
Ella walks into Jesse's hospital room, where Caleb is chomping at the bit to get his hands on the forged medical records, which Ella does not have. Caleb can't believe they couldn't buy off a nurse. Ella ignores this mistaken labeling of Lauren on Caleb's part and says it's time for plan "B," which involves them letting the story go public and controlling it from there. She theorizes that letting the tabloids have the story will humble Jesse and force him to get healthy while allowing them to control the spin. It might also propel him from teeny bopper to leading man status. Caleb buys it. Ella starts to leave and turns back to correct Caleb that Lauren isn't a nurse. "She's going to be the finest doctor in this hospital one day." Don't forget she also has a killer rate on half-and-halves.
Coal. Auggie's cooking when Marcello comes up to do his patented Marcello criticism of Auggie's work. He then starts harping on Auggie taking time to chat with Riley while on the clock. Marcello takes it a step further by objectifying Riley and talking about how he'd love to have her for dessert. Auggie warns him to stop, but Marcello is Marcello. Finally, Auggie snaps, as has been telegraphed all episode, and goes berserk on his boss, totally beating his ass. Violet comes up and shrieks for Auggie to stop as the other cooks try to hold him back. They finally peel him off, but not before Marcello is semi-unconscious.
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Violet knocks on Auggie's door. He answers shirtless and is too listless to care whether or not Violet comes in. She tries her best to cheer him up. Auggie says he just lost control like he was out of his body. Violet looks like she wants to lick his wounds, literally. Suddenly, Auggie kisses her... then pushes her away. He shouldn't have, he says. Yes he should have, she says. They fall onto the couch together and start to tear each other's clothes off. Good for them.
Police station. Rodriguez looks gloomy as he gazes upon the evidence board for Syd's murder investigation. Another detective walks in with David's knife in an evidence bag. It was turned in by a construction worker, so we're sure it's the same knife. The size of the knife makes it consistent with Syd's wounds. Case closed! Please?
Eerie transition to a cemetery at night. David's on a knee at Sydney's grave. "I'm so sorry, Syd. I'm so sorry." What for? Crying over graves twice in one episode?
Jonah's on the phone accepting a date somewhere. He sounds almost as happy as he was at the bar with Kendra. Riley walks in and hears the end of the conversation. She tells Jonah what she did in regards to her friendship with Auggie. Jonah sounds guilty about it, saying he didn't tell her to do that. Plus, he reveals that it was indeed Kendra he has made plans to see, but he insists it will be professional and he needs to keep seeing her for the sake of this opportunity for his career. He and Riley end up out on the balcony together with no answers to their problem. "Where do we go from here?" Riley asks to Jonah, but it might as well be to no one in particular. After a minute or so of silence, Jonah just turns and walks off. Too bad you already screwed up with Kendra.
Ella walks in on Lauren studying in their apartment. She goes straight into apologizing for trying to buy Lauren and asking her to compromise her ethics. After resolving that all of the WPK stuff with Jesse is going to turn out fine, Lauren asks Ella if she plans to share her hooker theory about her with anyone. Ella says she hasn't told anyone and won't bring it up again. How convenient. Also, she'll be there to talk about it if Lauren wants to. Lauren says there's nothing to talk about. Glad we had this talk, roomie. To move on from this ordeal, Ella suggests a Julia Roberts marathon. Niiiiice. Lauren preemptively flips about further Pretty Woman jokes. Ella teases she was talking about Steel Magnolias. "Closest I come to that crying thing you people sometimes do." I knew it! She was too perfect. She's a robot, guys. This show just got interesting.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vloggers Val and Beth think the cast members look like Wii avatars in TV is the Answer!
Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. Check him out at Space Monkeys!, Obscure Sports Reference, and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.