By Mr. Sobell
It's Slim's turn. Did you know that Slim gave up a chance to graduate from college so she could appear on this show? We mention this because her passion fruit fondue with lamb chunks and fresh fruit goes over like a fraternity prank that ends in alcohol poisoning. Her lamb is fatty, and the sauce has too much ginger. "If we were on a date and you cooked that dish for me," Gordon tells her, "I'd go to the bathroom, and you'd never see me again." Because you'd be so overwhelmed by the delicious flavor. "I'd bolt out the door," Gordon says, removing all doubt. "This is like a buffet gone bad," Joe says, dismissing Slim from the judge's stand without even tasting her dish. He does take the time to deposit it in a trash can, though. Well, that's passion of a sort, at any rate.
Mike's , with a beef tataki with passion fruit ponzu. It ends the streak of terrible dishes with something Gordon seems to really enjoy. David follows up with his saffron shrimp and passion fruit salsa coupled with a lame backstory about him and his fiancée and the skewer through his heart. The meal is better than the explanation. And what of Lee and his tenderloin and prawns with parsnip and cauliflower puree and a passion fruit glaze? The meat appears beautifully cooked -- and appearances aren't deceiving. The judges order everyone to come up and taste what Lee made. See? This is what sadness doesn't taste like. While everyone gobbles down mouthfuls of Lee's meat -- yes, I know what I just wrote -- Sharone glowers in the corner. "I'm here to win," he snarls. Fuck learning from my betters.
So, our winner: That'd be Lee. Sharone makes boo-boo kitty faces at the announcement. And our three failure plates? Well, surprise, surprise -- tonight, the judges would like to summon four people to make the walk of shame. Tracy, Sheetal, Slim and Whitney -- yes, it's an all-girl parade of misery. "If there was ever a time for all four of you to shine, that would deliver romance oozing off the plate, that would be today," Gordon tells them. "And yet, sadly, you delivered the opposite." Yes, they'll all die as spinsters, hungry and unloved. But who gets the ol' heave-ho? After a savage dressing down from the judges, they tell Sheetal and Tracy to go back to their stations. That leaves just Slim and Whitney. "Your experience -- or lack of experience -- has caught up with you both," Gordon says. Slim underscores that point when Gordon asks what she would have done had she been given another hour of cook time. She mutters something about making the same sauce with less ginger while keeping the overall dish the same. Oh, I'm sorry -- the correct answer was "Well, I certainly wouldn't have made the same thing over again." Tell her what she's won, judges. An invitation to remover her apron and get the hell of the show is what.
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