Previously: Salome almost drowned during an underwater shoot. Jordan won the challenge and booked the go-see. Branden got slammed for having a big head. Despite the deepness of Amanda's love for Gabe, he was sent home.
Stylist Rebecca Weinberg will be sitting on the panel this week! Filling in for Perou! I know he adds some flavor, but I'm glad to be rid of his sliminess for a week. And Catherine Malandrino is back! Yay! Already, this episode is hurtling towards legitimacy.
It's morning, and we see a shot of a mural in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, a mural that reads, "Lower East Side." Then, we see the condos across the street from my gym in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. Nice try, Bravo. You're putting these kids up in Brooklyn. Don't front. Amanda tells us that she's upset about Gabe leaving, partly because she liked him and all, sure, but mostly because she won't have someone to talk at. Because this is real stressful, and you need someone nearby whose ostensible purpose in life is to listen to your self-involved babble. I didn't realize how completely over Amanda I was until I wrote that sentence. Jordan interviews that she is sick of Amanda moping, as if Gabe were her true love or something. "He's dead." Wow. She says that Amanda needs to leave, too. Kind of sick of Jordan, too.
Branden, Sandhurst and Salome read the photo challenge clue. Madonna, Andy Warhol and Yves St. Laurent have all been shot by this photographer. Drew Barrymore? Salome doesn't know who Andy Warhol is. Colin informs her that, "Madonna and Andy Warhol is pop art." I guess half of that is true. Madonna's just pop. Salome also doesn't know who Yves St. Laurent is. Jonathan interviews that he's not sure if Salome's being clueless or looking for attention. Jesus, she's 19. It's not inconceivable that a teenaged Mennonite might not know of Andy Warhol and Yves St. Laurent. I went to college with a girl who didn't know who Gary Coleman was. She played the cello.
The models go to Element, a nightclub in the Lower East Side. You've won this time, Bravo. Branden is excited, because he likes to party. It's 10am, but go for it. Tyson and Nicole are there to great them. They're going to be bringing the '60s back, specifically the mod era. [Too late, DWTS already did it. - Zach] And Roxanne Lowit is going to be shooting them. She is qualified because she has shot The Rolling Stones and partied with Iggy Pop and Jerry Hall. That all sounds like it could have happened at one party, so I'm not sure she's terribly qualified, but there's an old black and white shot of a party. She likes to shoot parties. She tells the models that they're going to... have a party. Their challenge is to capture the spirit of the '60s nightlife.
The models are going to work in pairs, and Nicole holds a box out of which Tyson pulls comp cards. First is Branden, who gets to choose his partner. He goes with Sandhurst. He interviews that Sandhurst is a good-looking guy, which DOES NOT MAKE HIM HOMOSEXUAL. Methinks the lady doth protest so much that it maketh the lady gay. Jonathan is chosen , and he goes with Jordan, who is excited. Colin chooses Kerryn, who is thrilled and says that hers and Colin's relationship is "advancing." Her order of roofies has been shipped, and Colin will soon be hers, all hers. Mountaha is and chooses Salome. That leaves Amanda and Laury. Amanda is bummed that she wasn't chosen. Colin interviews that sometimes Amanda "doesn't come across as positively as she thinks." Diplomatic. She's a downer, apparently. Tyson has something to add. This week, two models will be eliminated. Ouch! Everyone is justifiably freaked.
Rebecca Weinberg is styling them for the shoot, and she's a badass. She explains to the guys that her idea of mod is a short, skinny pant. She marvels at Jonathan's abs and Jordan informs her that he's the most ripped guy in the house. Sandhurst and Branden better get to work, yo. Amanda gets the chicken cutlet fake booby treatment, which prompts Rebecca to ask the guys if they like girls to have big breasts. Jonathan says that he likes girls to be "flat as a pancake." Hmm. Colin says "medium" because the big ones scare him. Seriously, he said that. Branden just says "Boobies!" Not making that up.
Jonathan and Jordan are prepared for their shoot. Tyson says to Jonathan that he is very handsome, so handsome that, if he were a girl, he would date him. Jonathan tells Tyson that he's been waiting for him to say those words, which gets a laugh. Models are weird. Jonathan interviews that Jordan looked like Audrey Hepburn made up, which he loved. They're so supposed to act casual and full of energy, like it's a captured moment at a party. They do very well and Roxanne liked Jordan in particular.
Mountaha practices some '60s dance moves backstage with Salome, who doesn't know nothing about no dancing. Laury interviews that Salome pretends to be naïve, but then will be able to discuss sex frankly. She thinks that she's one of the fakest people in the house, and they are not going to be friends. To be fair, there's a difference between having a knowledge of pop culture and having the opportunity to get busy with Obadiah in the barn. You can know one without the other. Exhibit A, the cello player. For the shoot, Nicole tells them that the '60s were a time when women flaunted their beauty. The girls work it for the camera, with Nicole prodding them to turn up the energy. Roxanne says that she thinks the girls captured the right spirit. Mountaha loves what they did and hopes that she will win the challenge this week. Not happening.
Branden and Sandhurst are . Branden reminds us that the judges ripped him a new one last week. They're dressed more like the Rat Pack than mod, but whatevs. They're cute. They act like they're checking out girls from a bar. Sandhurst interviews that smiley pictures are hard for him, because he squints. Branden says that "Brandhurst" seemed to be fine, but then he admits that he's scared. Scared that he referred to him and another guy as "Brandhurst," which does in fact mean that he is homosexual? No, scared of being eliminated.
Kerryn asks Colin how tall he is. 6' 4". She says that she always falls for boys who are shorter than her. Could this be over? She interviews that she's worried about Colin's inexperience, but she hopes that he will do fine. He's had multiple professional photo shoots at this point-- when do we stop talking about that? She is hoping to be strong enough for both of them, because she doesn't want him to go home. Uh-oh. This is hard. They look really uncomfortable. Tyson keeps telling Colin to look at the camera, but he keeps going into profile. Then, Kerryn sits on him, but Roxanne says that they look uncomfortable. Finally, Rebecca steps in and says that Kerryn's hair and make-up doesn't work. It needs to be redone. Doesn't help. They super-suck at this. She has them just dance for the camera, but it doesn't look that good. This is horrible. I really like them.
Laury and Amanda are practicing some moves for Sandhurst. Laury snaps that Amanda can't move with her arms up. She interviews that she and Amanda aren't the best of friends. Who does this bitch like? Sandhurst has them turn away from him and jiggle, which is a joke so he can see their jelly move. Amanda gets a kick out of it. On the set, Nicole tells them to take this "seriously" because two people are being eliminated. Neither of them seems the least bit frivolous, but thanks for the reminder, Nicole. Laury says she's not a big smiler, but she's doing it for the camera. Amanda says that Laury is definitely on the cutting block this week, which she thinks sucks for her. She wishes she'd had a partner who was on her level. Also, she says that the downfall of Laury's appearance is her smile. Ouch. But, also kind of true. That space between her teeth is distracting. Laury says that she thinks the shoot went well.
The day, we see the models having breakfast. Salome and Mountaha are on the treadmills in the fitness room. Amanda and Branden are talking alone. She high-fives him over making the top 10. That's a kind of manufactured thing to be excited about. It's not like they're all going on tour together or something. Branden reminds her that, if they survive this week, they'll be top 8. And the week after that? Top 7. God, that's just crazy. Amanda interviews that she's not sure why everyone is not as nervous as she is about this double elimination. She thinks it's because she wants this more than they do. Maybe it's because they're not humorless pills? She tells Branden that she's showing her son to go after his dreams. Nice enough thought, but then she goes further and complains that, when she was pregnant, everyone told her that her life was over. Her sister tried to get her to have an abortion and told her that she was disgracing their family. This is going to be on TV, Amanda. Branden commends her for being strong and interviews that he grew up with a single mom and she's his "everything."
Nicole arrives with the photos. Branden and Sandhurst see their photo. Branden's pointing at the camera and they're both smiling. Branden says that he likes it, but he is not sure how the judges are going to feel. Colin interviews that he might get slammed for the pointing, which the judges may perceive as more cockiness. Jonathan and Jordan love their photo. Mountaha is also happy with her photo, though Salome is less so. She feels like she lacked the exuberance that everyone else showed. Colin and Kerryn are pleasantly surprised by their photo. Colin looks pretty good, but I'm not digging the way Kerryn looks. Finally, Amanda and Laury are really happy with their photo. Amanda thinks it's "perfect."
Cory Bautista calls and Salome answers! He wants to speak to... Salome!!!! I love Salome, ya'll. I don't care if she's a two-faced Mennonite. I think she's sweet. She's totally shocked, and Laury interviews that everyone was shocked that she won. Mountaha bitches that she had to spend 30 minutes teaching Salome about the '60s (FYI -- you weren't asked to do any of that, Mountaha). Cory explains that she'll be meeting with Rory Tahari, Creative Director of Elie Tahari. Elie Tahari is RAD! This is a really big deal. Cory explains that Nicole herself has done two international campaigns for Elie Tahari. Nicole says that her face was all over the city when she was part of that campaign. She chooses Mountaha to go with her! Nicole observes that Mountaha has gone on a lot of the go-see's this year, and Salome says that she deserves it. Mountaha says she's the "go-see escort."
On the way to the go-see, Salome asks the name of the lady they're going to see, and Mountaha laughs in an interview about how Salome doesn't know the brand. She can't get the guy's name right. Pull it together, Salome. She calls her Rory Tahini at one point. They meet Rory and Salome says that her name is pronounced like "Salami." After she's gone, Rory points out that "Salami" is not a very chic word for the fashion world. Salome walks in a beautiful dress. She kind of trips at the end of her walk and Rory says to a guy near her that she'd have to work on the walk. Mountaha walks and they joke about how serious she is. Afterwards, Rory tells Salome that she is very beautiful, however it would be "premature" to book her for the campaign that is shooting week. They tell Mountaha that she doesn't have the "Elie Tahari look," which is softer. Rory says that Mountaha is edgy and the guy beside her adds "very hard look." Ouch. Salome interviews that she's tired of not booking her go-see. In the car back to the condos, Salome says that Jordan is shooting the job that she booked that night. "Bitch."
That night, Jordan goes to her booking at People's Revolution. She tries on clothes for Masha Orlov, a stylist. Afterwards, Masha says that Jordan did a very good job. Robyn, the lady from People's Revolution, really liked her as well. Afterwards, Jordan says that it's so nice to work with "professional" people. At the condo, everyone congratulated her, except for Amanda. She interviewed that the job sounded "boring."
The morning, Tyson and Nicole greet the models at the catwalk. Laury notices two racks of clothes that aren't ordinary clothes. Tyson says that this catwalk challenge is going to be a "style war." Roman and MJ, the fashion designers from House of Diehl are there to explain what he means. They enter the catwalk really seriously. So, Roman says that it takes a supermodel to wear challenging clothes. Then, Mountaha volunteers and he makes a short jacket out of a pair of black vinyl pants. It looks great on her. The designers are going to create looks from the two racks of clothing that they have before them. They will only have 4 minutes to create a look, but they have to sell it on the runway. This MJ is a powerful speaker, but this doesn't make any sense to me yet. Are all of the models working on each ensemble? They will be working against their partners from the photo shoot.
This is disorienting and exciting. Colin says it's akin to a rap battle, but with fashion designers. What happens is, Salome and Mountaha walk out in their underwear. Mountaha is accompanied by Diego Montoya. Salome is accompanied by the winner of the New York Style Battle, Kelly Aragon. MJ calls "STYLE!" and everyone starts working. They cut the t-shirts off of the girls to begin. Salome interviews that, since Mennonites make all of their clothes, she may be a step ahead. At four minutes, they go to the catwalk. They're both styled in these crazy outfits with blinds accordioning out from their bodies. They walk the shit out of it on the catwalk though. The judges seem to approve.
, Branden is accompanied by Paul Raymond. Sandhurst's designer is the winner of the U.S. Style Challenge, Corelle Levy. Sandhurst ends up in a hoodie cape thing, while Branden is in a vinyl skirt reminiscent of The Cell starring Jennifer Lopez. Sandhurst acts kind of crazy on the runway, because he doesn't really know the correct way to market his crazy outfit. Branden is worried about the judges liking him.
Laury is paired with L.A. Style Battle Champion, Paul Maglog Amanda is paired with Kayce Armstrong. Laury ends up covered in trash bags, while Amanda's design is actually very beautiful. It's a short version of all of those Chanel feathery dresses from a few seasons ago. Or, like that Oscar de la Renta dress that the Russian got for Carrie on Sex and the City. I know, I should move on. They walk pretty fiercely, though it makes me uncomfortable to watch them all working so hard.
Colin is paired with Heather Murphy, while Kerryn is being dressed by Chris Pobada. STYLE! Colin ends up in this voluminous Issey Miyake-meets-prison wear get-up. Kerryn is wearing a pretty cocktail dress. She interviews that she hopes that Colin has problems, so it will make her shine. She loves him and all... but, it's a competition. Colin's walk is a little weird, but he pulls it together towards the middle.
Jordan is working with a three-time style challenge winner Dominic. That's a lady. Jonathan is working with Avaria Varaisavoy. Hard name. Dominic puts Jordan to work during their four minutes. Jonathan ends up looking like a super hot Ghost of Christmas Present. Jordan is wearing an architectural piece that frames her face. They have a great time on the runway. Jordan says that they are dangerous working together.
Afterwards, Tyson introduces the judges, including stylist from Sex and the City Rebecca Weinberg. Tyson calls out Branden, Mountaha and Jonathan. They are safe. Marlon says that Jordan did well on the catwalk and liked that she helped her designer. Jenny thought she was a good team with Jonathan, and she replies that she loved working with him. Catherine says that the photo is not her favorite of Jordan's, but it was "fun." Rebecca says that neither Amanda nor Laury shined in the photo. Catherine thinks that she's missing strength and presence. She tells Laury that it was brave for her to walk in a trash bag. Marlon thinks that she lacked confidence, which Rebecca disagrees with. Marlon reminds everyone that he's been everywhere in the world and knows what he's talking about. Laury says that she has had to adjust her personality for the fashion world and "for you to say that you can't see me improving -- I don't wanna get bitchy." Jenny replies that this is the challenge when she should have been bitchy. I think she meant that she was about to be bitchy right then. Jenny says that it's not time to be making friends. Yeah, Laury's all about friendship here.
Marlon praises Sandhurst's picture. They also liked that he was so confident in his walk, though he really couldn't see. He replies that he figured, since he has immunity, that he'd just go for it and get reprimanded later. They hate Kerryn's picture and walk. She stands up for the picture. They also hate on Colin and he says that he agrees they had no chemistry in the picture. Kerryn whispers, "Are you kidding?" under her breath. I don't seriously think he was trying to screw her there, but I guess you never know. Rebecca adds that Colin appeared buffoonish on the runway.
Marlon loves Salome. He thought her photo was gorgeous. She says that she was "definitely high" in her photo which is apparently "a '60s thing." Maybe she just means she was happy? I don't know. That was weird. Rebecca commends her for standing with her hand on her hip in a very professional stance. She replies that she is so blessed to be there -- she's learning so much. Jenny asks if there's more room for improvement and she says there are about 3 more inches of improvement. The judges laugh like she was making a little joke, but I think she's saying that she wants to lose 3 inches.
Tyson stands up for Colin. He says that he doesn't think he should go home. Nicole tells Kerryn to smile, because people get drilled in the fashion industry all of the time.
The judges confer. They love Salome. Also, they are big on Jordan. Marlon says she's much like all of the girls that he works with. They also compliment Sandhurst, who is always good on the runway. Rebecca thinks that Colin was a clown and resembled Jerry Lewis on the runway. Catherine says that he has all of the parts to be a model-- he has beautiful features. Marlon did not have his prunes this morning -- he's a grump. He says that they are NOT a modeling school. [But they are a supermodeling school, right? Aren't they making supermodels here? - Z] They hated Kerryn's photo and her walk. Rebecca adds that she had a lot to contend with by working with Colin. Jenny doesn't think that Laury is even photogenic. They agree that her outfit on the runway was a tough sell, but she tried really hard. They think Amanda got lucky with her beautiful outfit on the runway. Catherine repeats that Amanda has no presence. Rebecca says that she probably has no chance to become a supermodel. It looks like they've come to a decision.
The judges return. Salome is this week's winner! She has immunity. She interviews that confidence can take you anywhere, if you try hard enough. So, then it would be the hard work that took you anywhere, right? Jordan and Sandhurst are safe. So, here we are. Tyson tells Colin that he's transformed himself from Clark Kent to Superman, but they're not sure they can help him anymore. He says that the judges feel that Kerryn is fading. God, that hurts. The judges feel that Amanda always has an excuse, but a real supermodel don't need no excuses. They rise to any occasion. Really? I don't even know what that means. Laury has the drive, but she doesn't deliver in photographs. Colin and Amanda (SHIT!) are safe!!! Kerryn! No! Kerryn is crying. Colin gets a big hug from Branden backstage. It looks like Rebecca might be shedding a tear for her, too. This sucks. I totally think that Amanda should have gone home instead. Tyson doesn't have any sweet words for them, which I wish had become a tradition. He just says, "Please leave the catwalk." Ew.
Kerryn interviews that this was a complete shock to her. People have always called her "supermodel," and she will continue to be that, she says especially in her hometown. God, that's heartbreaking. Laury says that she's not going to let this beat her down. She's going to find a couple of people who love every aspect of her. Backstage, Salome tries to give Laury a hug, but she turns away. As she's leaving, she says that Salome talks shit about people, but does whatever she needs to in front of the judges to look like a perfect little girl. "But there's another side to you, girl." "Tell me about it," she replies coolly. That's not a bad comeback. She says that Salome is full of shit and everyone looks disgusted at her as she walks out. "I just don't like the bitch," she says in conclusion.
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Jeff Long has another side to him. It can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com.