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By Al Lowe

First of all, why have a reunion show prior to the last episode of the season? Why confuse me like that, Bravo? Do you do that with all your shows? Secondly, why did you even have all these kids come back when you only care about two of them? Third, how am I supposed to recap this bullmess?

Andy Cohen, who I understand to be the Senior VP of production and programming at Bravo, welcomes everyone to the show, introducing the ten "eliminated" models. He apologizes for referring to them as "eliminated," but, oh, how it makes me laugh. Now... it's fine, but, why is this dude doing this? Doesn't this show have enough hosts and guests and panelists without putting him into the mix?

"People may not realize it, but the show was shot in real time," Cohen says. What does that even mean? Of course people realized it -- they showed us the time and date on everything every five minutes. Anyway, he reminds everyone that the kids were on lockdown and could not see the show until they went home. Jacki says, surprise, that watching it was like watching an entirely different program. Somehow, these children, who have all grown up watching reality shows and their accompanying "reunions," all seem shocked that um, things get edited. It's different than what happened? By the way, Jacki is looking good. She has maintained her professional weave and her makeup looks great. Aryn says she thinks a lot of them forgot that they were even on TV during shooting. A montage is shown of each of The Eliminated's final moments on the show. Watching it, I am reminded of something I have felt each week of this long ordeal: whenever anyone gets voted off, it's like they were never even on the show. No matter how much camera time they got before they left, once they were out, they were never even referenced again. Honestly, have you thought once about Sarah or Jay since they were eliminated? We're again shown Dominick's awesome comeback to the judges, one of the finer moments on this show, and see many tears and proclamations of "I'll do it on my own!"

Casey laughs when it's over. "So that was nice," he says. "'Let's review all your failures.'" Sweet Casey, how I've missed your malleable little heart. Cohen puts the hurt on Dom. "On the show, you came off as like, the Mayor of Excuses Village," he says. "Did you see yourself that way?" I don't know if this, too, is edited, but Dom has the nerve to now make excuses about how many excuses he made. "Sarah," Cohen says, moving on with no segue or note of the extreme Dom-shaped irony, "what was it like being the first model eliminated?" Nice question.