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Don accompanies Roger and Crane to L.A. for several West Coast meetings, including a disastrously awkward breakfast with Carnation (the company and the drink), and then to a gross party with a hash hookah and Danny Strong's character from several seasons back. Don smokes hash, hallucinates a hippie version of Megan and that sweet young soldier from the season premiere, and then goes swimming in his clothes/tries to commit suicide. Roger's burgeoning wisdom lightens the load on the flight back, but there's no telling for how long.
If you like episodes of this show where Don does drugs and trips out on drugs and has trippy drug experiences, this is probably like your favorite season for sure. I totally understand because I feel the same way about Stan Rizzo's beard.
Back home, it's the Democratic National Convention and rioting, which has everybody on edge but also feeling a certain feeling of revolution, as in the movie Les Misérables. Harry Hamlin's amazing-looking Cutler is very interested in using Don's absence to evict what he still thinks of as the "SCDP" side of the firm -- especially once Ginsberg's incipient paranoid schizophrenia rears its head again, and he flips the fuck out on Harry Hamlin. Bob Benson involves himself in that way he tends to do.
Bob Benson: we still don't know what his deal is but I think he is the Devil and at the end of the season somebody's gonna be like, "But Ken Cosgrove, the second floor has been abandoned for over 40 years! Ben Bobsled was only an illusion."
We see an interesting dynamic in the way that Ginz, Stan and now Bob support and love one another, no homo (slight homo), and the end result is that Bob is now one of the account managers on Chevrolet -- despite not even working at their company, being Dick Whitman from an alternate future, being the Devil, and/or being in gay love with Ginz -- because he can calm down Harry Hamlin just by giving him a focus for his weird ire. I nominate him for Vice President of Keepin' It Tight in Them Little Booty Shorts.
Somebody calls Ronald Reagan "Dutch" and somebody calls Nixon a patriot. You know, they always say only Nixon could have gone to China but I don't really think that's true. I think Roger Sterling could have pulled it off.
The other major revolution is the best and most nerve-wracking part of the episode: Joan goes on a date that turns out to be a biz dev meeting with the head of marketing at Avon, and tries to get Peggy's help in making her the account man for it. A distracted Ted gives it to Pete Campbell instead, so Joan switches their luncheon around and ends up icing him out.
I think Don Draper talking about how powdered breakfast is for adults on the go is my favorite pitch meeting on this show since that time Peggy said "catsup" like a million billion times.
Peggy barely relishes the tables-have-turnedness of being the senior employee in this arena, but it does get pretty ugly between the ladies for a bit. Eventually some incredibly quick-thinking from Peggy gets Joan out of the predictable shit-fit blowback from Campbell -- but now it's like her whole job rests on the success of this account.
The whole storyline is very twisty and each person involved calls Joan a literal whore to her face at least 17 times, but at this point she barely gives a shit because everybody's doing it all the time now so she's just like "Bitch I might be" no matter what context it happens in. Empowerment.
Peggy says a neat thing about way back when Joan dicked her around about making the jump to copywriting: That it was worse back then, because Joan made Peggy feel like she wasn't going to be any good at it, but at least Peggy's concern trolling is coming from a place where she knows Joan would be a good accounts man. I think she should be whatever the job is where everybody does exactly what you say, all the time.
They rename the firm from SCDPCGC to Sterling, Cooper & Partners once the boys get back from L.A., which makes nobody happy, which is the point. Well, it might make Don Draper happy, because he is in a curious no-place where he just wants to X himself and at the same time is very close to a wonderful breakthrough, so probably not being in the firm's name would make him tragically happy.
Who will never, ever be happy is Pete Campbell because he is a miserable son of a bitch, so at the end of the episode he takes Stan Rizzo's pot away from him and feels like he is Janis Joplin and somebody keeps taking little pieces of his heart. Sometimes I like to imagine Betty Draper and Peter Campbell having a conversation, and then I like to imagine her cunt-punting him to outer space. But I admit my feelings about him vary from week to week in direct proportion to how good his manners are with Joan. This week, not so much.
Week: Betty's fat French twin shows up with brown hair and a knack for machinations. She uses her sexuality as a weapon! She won't be a chambermaid for long! Eventually she goes nuts and murders Sharon Tate, but not before starting the day off right with a healthy and delicious -- and above all instant -- Carnation powdered breakfast. (She is really just Betty in a wig.)
-- Jacob Clifton
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Oh hi, "directed by John Slattery." We meet again.
In an easy chair, his eyes at three-quarter mast, Don is watching TV coverage of the Democratic National Convention when Megan calls to him about a packing issue. He doesn't catch what she says, so she enters and, hearing the speaker droning on about some procedural amendment for the '72 edition, comments that they're supposed to be debating the war. Don sighs that they can't come out against it, and after some talk illustrative of the sentiment that Humphrey has a snowball's chance in Hawaii, Don turns off the TV and laughs about how the debate and the almost-violent-turning protests currently going on won't be shown in prime-time. Megan smiles that Don's so cynical, but he, obviously still making an effort with her, has her come over and sit on his lap before urging her to come with him, apparently on a trip to California. He tells her they can go back to Disneyland. "From what I remember, something amazing happened there." I'd agree with that. She jokes that it was the biggest mistake of her life (hmm) before telling him she'd come if she could. Now that she's playing two characters, it does seem like it'd be harder for her to get significant time off. If the soap sees fit to introduce a red-haired "Celine," we'll never see Megan again. Megan warns him to stay away from actresses, and Don smiles that he hates them. Earlier in the season, I would have been guessing whether that was a comment on her choice of profession or on her acting ability, but he does seem to be joking here.
In the [NAME] conference room, Ted tells the group that on Ken's most recent Detroit visit, the Chevy people took him to a room on a level of the building he'd never seen before. Since they apparently let him out after, I'm guessing that's a good sign, especially since Ted goes on that Ken "met the man he believes to be the source of our current torture. Apparently his feelings were hurt because we haven't kissed his ring." Pete practically reaches for the Carmex as he says he'll be happy to do it, and when Roger says it should be he, Pete points out that he's going to L.A. "for... what, again?" Ted curtails this discussion by saying that he'll be the one to go, which seems odd because you'd think they'd be clear here on whether it should be an Accounts or a Creative person to take this on. Then again, it's not like certain lines of that sort aren't going to be blurred this episode.
Don enters and asks Roger if they're going, and when Roger tells him they will right after the partners' meeting, he's like, "Oh," takes a seat... and then immediately asks if they're done. Look, I know the show is to the point of fetishizing Don's devil-may-care attitude when it comes to [NAME] procedure, but are the other partners so laissez-faire about it that no one would have walked the five steps to Don's office to see if he'd be attending? This is a public company now, and they could literally wave to Dawn from here! And it's one thing for Don to blow it off, but another not even to know it's happening. Another instance of something ringing false enough to compromise its potential comedy, if that's even what they were going for... although being over Don's general attitude certainly doesn't help.
Cutler asks Meredith if she'd step out, whereupon he announces that he just got an envelope addressed to "Sterling Gleason and Pryce," and Roger does kind of look appropriately terrified that he was lumped in with the two dead guys. Cutler's point is that whoever addressed the envelope didn't know their name because they themselves don't know it. This leads to some bickering about the bulkiness of using all the partners' initials, so Roger suggests they cut down to "SCDC," which would eliminate the two dead guys -- plus, he suggests, "Chaough." Ted isn't thrilled with that, but Don points out that an extra "C" has all kinds of problems, so Bertram pipes up that if it'll help, he'll bow out of the name "along with the other deceased parties." Heh. Roger won't hear of that, though, especially since it would unacceptably dilute the value of their brands.
It's clear this isn't going to be resolved, so Roger gets up to go, telling Ted to have fun with Chevy and Cutler to do the same with Manischewitz. Cutler asks if Roger has any special instructions, and Roger tells him yes -- "The guy in charge, just pick an eye and stick with it." Hee. Cutler cautions them that further delay in choosing their name will result in the world choosing one for them, which is probably true but is delivered with, like, Attack Of The Clones-level unwarranted gravitas that somehow makes me like Cutler more. If only he'd Yoda-ed up the syntax. Don and Roger ride an eye-roll right on out of there...
...and then we're on the plane, with Don actually doing some prep work, to which Roger, more characteristically, objects. "We're executives. Leave the drudgery to Ted Chaough and the rest of the underlings." I really would like to see the partnership structure of the new entity so I know exactly to what degree each partner's posturing is full of shit. Roger dismissively makes it sound like all the people they'll be meeting with are rubes. Don wonders if that's true, but Roger says his point is that they are big-city ad men and need to act like it, so, "Under no circumstances are you to trot out that drawl you do when you've had too many." Hee. Don still wants to study up, but Roger gives him a speech about them being conquistadores, and I'm not inclined to give him much racial benefit of the doubt after A, href="http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/mad-men/my-old-kentucky-home-1.php?page=9" target="_blank">"My Old Kentucky Home," so it's just as well we cut out of the scene before he gets another drink. Not before he orders one, though.
Ginzo -- with the intense face of the armchair activist -- and Stan are staring at the radio, when Cutler wanders in and asks what's going on. Ginzo irritably tells him that a peace plank against the war was rejected, and when Cutler clarifies that he was referring to the work for Manischewitz, Ginzo snaps that obviously he doesn't care, since he's for the war. Cutler loftily says he's not going to be distracted by "events in which I have no actual stake or participation," and that penetrates even the haze of Stoned Stan, who wonders how he could say that. Cutler evenly tells Ginzo that he served in the Air Force, but this only fuels Ginzo's increasing agitation, who tells him he's "disgusting" and that "this whole thing only works because people like you look the other way." Cutler retorts that his politics are private, but the presentation in question isn't. "Are you going to hide your dawdling behind your outrage?" Ginzo, whose far-too-loose shirt and pants up to his chin are making him look more like Grandpa Simpson than a radical hippie, barks that Cutler will get his work and take credit for it "like you always do," and if Don were around, he'd probably agree to license "THAT'S WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR" for a reasonable fee. When Ginzo gets around to calling Cutler a fascist, Stan bails, but when Cutler comes back that he hates hypocrites, "like hippies who cash checks from Dow Chemical," and Ginzo calls him a Nazi in response, Benson, who apparently was so thrown by what he heard of the argument that he dropped not one but two cups of coffee someplace, asks "Michael" what he's doing berating his boss in this way. Surprisingly, this is what makes Cutler lose his equanimity completely as he berates Benson for always being down on the Creative floor, and after he stomps off, Ginzo sarcastically thanks Benson for making things worse. You know, Ginzo, for someone who wants to stand up for principles, you sure bit Benson's head off for speaking his mind there.
Cutler marches right into Ted's office and, trying to remain calm and failing from even the casual observer's point of view, tells Ted that he believes they fired the wrong people, "and I'd like to remedy that immediately." Ted, who's known Cutler far longer than you or I, notes that he's upset, but Cutler says he's not, since he has a solution -- fire a bunch of SCDP people while Roger, Don and Harry are in California. I mean, given that Roger fired Burt Peterson seemingly without consultation, I guess there's precedent, but I really do not think companies with a bunch of partners on roughly equal terms can operate this way. Ted doesn't bother with whether Cutler can do this, though, instead suggesting that maybe it would help if Cutler stopped seeing this as an "us vs. them" situation before adding that no way is Cutler firing Ginzo, as he's "lightning in a bottle" and Cutler needs to make nice with him -- particularly since Cutler is taking him to Manischewitz. Cutler's like, that's absolutely fantastic -- "Sterling's client and Draper's boy. I'm the world's most expensive babysitter." That sounds like a complaint, Cutler, but I can't see that you're that busy with other things.
Joan is at a table in a decent-looking restaurant with a middle-aged man (played by total Hey! It's That Guy! character actor Spencer Garrett), and we learn that Kate, Joan's friend from a few episodes back, did indeed get the job at Avon and set up this meeting. When "Andy" mentions his (ex-) wife, Joan's reaction is enough to tells us she expected this was a date, but no -- Andy's the head of marketing at Avon and is clearly fishing for a new agency. When it becomes obvious that Andy expects her to pitch him, she's only momentarily taken aback before rolling with it, drawing on her media experience (remember that stint she had as Harry's script-vetter and how great a fit she was for it) to sell [NAME]'s prowess in that department. Andy throws her another unintentional curveball by asking what Joan's role is in the company, and I think she's as much thrown by the way he interacts with women in a business setting as anything else, although it makes obvious sense given his employer. Again, though, she impresses him, this time by saying that she's in charge of "thinking of things before people know they need them," and while that's uncomfortably close to Helen Mirren's character Mrs. Wilson's description of a good servant in Gosford Park, Joan certainly has a knack for anticipating people's needs. The check comes, and Andy reaches for his wallet, but Joan, like any good Accounts person would, grabs it instead. "This is what I get paid to do!" Andy looks appreciative of Joan yet again, so his character is off to a fine start.
Benson rounds a corner and finds Cutler staring out the window, and you'll forgive me if this makes me wonder whether this means two people are going at it in an office across the street. Benson, looking uncomfortable, tries to explain that he only interfered in the Ginzo argument because he hates disrespect, but Cutler, after a moment, says he doesn't know what Benson's talking about. I think this is his way of dismissing what happened, but he's characteristically enigmatic, so I don't blame Benson for responding, "Neither do I." Heh. Cutler tells Benson that he believes in him, but he's untested, so he'd like to put him on Manischewitz to see if he can handle the parties involved, and Benson is live to the situation: "[Ginzo], or the clients?" Cutler: "I don't see much difference, do you?" Benson accepts the assignment, but after he takes a few steps away, he uncertainly looks back at Cutler, who responds by turning to resume stiff-backedly staring out the window again. He's the only one on this show who seemed no weirder when he was altered.
Joan comes in to see Peggy and, after asking for a drink, gushes about the fact that she has a lead on a potential client, and it's no wonder, given Peggy's "OHHHH" reaction when Joan tells her what company he represents. And it's of course endearing to see Joan's usual knowing air give way to untempered enthusiasm, but she admits to Peggy that while Avon is amazing, she doesn't quite know what to do with the opportunity, since Andy is leaving town the day. Peggy suggests she set a meeting, but Joan points out Don isn't there, "and I don't want to get kicked off the diving board." Peggy's eyes narrow in thought for a moment before she offers to take it to Ted, as he plays fair. Joan wonders what she even should ask for, so Peggy tells her she could be the Account man, and Joan beams at the thought. Peggy assures Joan that Ted loves new business, so they head out. Joan, I'd be thrilled for this to work out for you, but if you're going to be an Accounts man, you've got to knock back your drink before leaving the room.
Peggy and Joan track Ted down in front of his office, but when Peggy tells him what's up, his first move is to have Moira call Pete to join them. While they wait, Ted pronounces the Avon lead "very groovy," and then when Pete appears, Ted tells him that as the Head of New Business (Pete whines, "I don't want that!"), he needs to reel in Joan's lead with Peggy on Creative. Joan gives Peggy a somewhat despairing side-eye as Ted takes off, while Pete, his brain catching up with his ears, notes that Avon is Fortune 500 before telling Joan to brief him and set the meeting. Joan tries to protest that she should be there too, but Pete informs her that "this is how things get botched," and she should leave the initial meeting to him and Peggy; if a visit to the office ensues, Joan can be the one to show the client around. Joan and Peggy argue the point with him a bit, but Pete assures Joan she'll get all the credit before heading upstairs, taking Peggy with him. Peggy throws a look both apologetic and displeased over her shoulder at Joan, who looks fairly defeated...
...but let's not dwell on that, since Harry, Roger and Don are arriving to the "Vista Del Mar" hotel, and although he's not the one driving, I think it reflects Roger's insouciance that they pull up in a shiny red Mustang convertible. But no, seems like that was actually Harry's decision, as Don points out that Harry might want to get rid of it, considering there's a small chance someone from GM might reside within the city limits. Don and Roger aren't particularly impressed with Harry's L.A. shtick, even when he brings up a party with all kinds of movie moguls they can go to the day. Roger then tries to get Don to go to dinner on the Sunset Strip, and even forty-five years ago, if it's rush hour they might just as well go back to New York as make that drive, so it's no wonder Don begs off with a comment about how he wanted to sleep on the plane, "but somebody wouldn't stop talking." Hee. He and Roger leave Harry, and it's nice that he agreed to come along in a chauffeur capacity. I wonder if Roger and Don bought him a seat or just checked him with their Samsonite.
In her pajamas, Joan enters the living room with a laundry basket in hand and starts folding some clean clothes but pays attention to the TV when it starts showing coverage of the Chicago demonstrations that erupted in violence. She looks horrified...
...while Don, watching in his hotel room, appears rather ragged himself, if more physically than emotionally. The phone rings, and it's Megan, who disbelievingly asks if he's watching. He replies that it's hard to believe no one got killed, but she notes that that's hardly the only terrifying measure available. After we see some really disturbing footage of one protester literally getting dragged through the street, Don makes a joke about Conrad Hilton probably being in the hotel, but Megan's in no mood, starting to cry as she says that while she may not be a citizen, this place of such unrest is her home. Don apologizes, and after collecting herself, Megan asks him to be careful, but he assures her he's not going anywhere and that he misses her. She suggests he go for a swim, as it always makes him feel better, and there is evidence to back up that assertion, but she didn't see that ad of his from the season premiere either. They silently remain on the line for a bit longer as the protesters loudly chant that the whole world is watching, but eventually they get off the phone. The TVs remain on, though.
Peggy's first to arrive in the restaurant like the apple-polisher we all know she is, and then Joan turns up, to Peggy's delight -- until she hears that, "Pete couldn't make it." Peggy wonders how they're going to handle this, but Joan assures her it won't be a problem, so Peggy then offers that she didn't know Ted was going to handle the Avon news that way. Come to think of it, after last episode it is kind of surprising she gave him the benefit of the doubt. Joan, still tender about it, says that she never got around to inviting Pete, and Peggy barely has time to catch flies before Andy appears and apologizes for being late, explaining he was trying to check out. Joan solicitously smiles that if he were a client, they would have attended to that for him, and he smiles in assent.
Joan introduces Peggy as "the dynamite in our Creative Department." With Ginzo's "lightning," it's got explosive potential, so it's probably good that Stan's the bong water of the place. After they sit, Joan extols Peggy's expertise some more, saying that she's worked on relevant accounts such as Clearasil, Pond's and Belle Jolie. After Andy mentions that he almost worked for the last of those, Peggy tells him that she grew up in an Avon home, and their Avon lady was so elegant that her mother would vacuum the drapes before she visited. Hee. Whether Peggy's going somewhere more targeted with this or not, though, we'll never know, since Joan interrupts that all women have a personal connection to Avon, but that doesn't necessarily translate into business. She goes on to ask Andy what his biggest challenge on that front is as Peggy gives her a surreptitious side-eye that it's just as well she doesn't see given that it would melt the gloss right off her lips. Andy confesses that sales are flat: "Women are working; they're not home. And hippies don't wear makeup at all. I'm not sure if we should try to be groovier or nostalgic." No offense to Andy, but if he and Ted are both using "groovy," I'm pretty sure the word is over. Joan's lack of experience then shows through as it's pretty clear she doesn't know how to steer this, so she's like, "Peggy?" Peggy gives her a dull glare like, "Oh NOW it's okay for me to talk," but she then dons a professorial air and asks how Andy would describe Avon's current work. He gropes for the right words, so she asks if he'd say it's unintentionally old-fashioned, and he brightens as he says he would, in fact. Peggy shows how pro she's become as, with deference that's obviously manufactured to us but still feels authentic to the client, tells him she's sure he's thought of this already, "but Joan and I were saying how convenient it would be to have the Avon lady come to the office." Andy does say that Avon is open to trying that, but not to advertising it, and Joan pipes up, "There's no doorbell in an office." Andy gives her a finger-gun of acknowledgment, while Peggy just looks befuddled as to whose side Joan is on. And you know I love her, but she is kind of being Larry Tate in this scene.
The [NAME] team is in a conference room having some breakfast drink, if the carnation in the middle of the table is any indication. Roger makes a disparaging comment about Humphrey accepting the nomination, to which the fairly oily Carnation guy laughs that the Democrats are dead -- maybe forever. Easy to chuckle now, but with only Jimmy Carter preventing a Republican sweep for the 24 years, the man has a point. The bigger fish, "Jack," enters. Pleasant greetings are exchanged, but the sunny smiles fade quickly when Roger remarks that "George" was just crowing about how the riots gave Nixon the election, and Jack chastises George before saying that "those long-haired fools" shamed the U.S., and Nixon isn't going to fix that. He then asks them to explain how they can properly service both Carnation and their other brand Life Cereal. Don, given the already-spectacular failure of Roger's big-city approach, you might want to stick a stalk of hay in your mouth before answering. It's Roger who replies first, though, saying that their powdered dairy products have had a long and fruitful relationship with breakfast cereal, and they don't see a need to give it up; as far as Instant Breakfast goes, it has a different target -- adults, who don't eat cereal, as Don chimes in. Jack counters that they just might find the conflict unresolvable, whereupon Harry, sounding fairly annoyed, breaks in that they discussed this on the phone, and they're proposing a whole different level of exposure for their products -- game shows, Saturday morning, the works. The Carnation guys aren't impressed, though, and they lay out their real concern -- they feel like New York firms treat them like second-class citizens. Roger does a good job of not breaking out in a flop sweat as he offers, "We're sorry your last girlfriend hurt you." That at least gets a bit of an appreciative smile, and Jack asks what they have in mind. We don't hear the answer, but Roger looks awfully pleased for someone who's still catching up to where he was before he entered the room.
So there's a bit of tension outside the [NAME] offices, as after they get off the elevator, Joan grabs Peggy by the arm and asks what's with the attitude, as she just handed her an amazing opportunity. Peggy, however, retorts that Joan threw it away, and soon Joan is saying that Peggy doesn't have any "respect for me or what I do." I sure don't love to see these two going at it -- if I had two moms I'd imagine their fights would feel the same way -- but it's happening, as Peggy snaps back that she knows Joan wants this, but now she can't have it. "You could have, but now you can't." Joan tries to say that she didn't dissuade Peggy when she started writing copy, but Peggy tells her that actually, she did -- every day -- and it was worse because Joan made her feel like she couldn't do it. "I know you can do this." Joan wonders what the problem is, then, but Peggy tells her she worked her way up, to which Joan snits that Peggy was so brave, "letting Don carry you to the deep end of the pool." I'd point out that no one should even go near Don in the pool these days, let alone rely on him to keep them above water, but Peggy replies that she never slept with him. Joan's eyes narrow as she congratulates her for being "just like them," but Peggy apologizes before going on to add that she never thought she'd be in a position to tell Joan she made a mistake. Joan tells her all that matters is who has the relationship with the client. "Who is the client going to call?" She says she'll be fine, so an exasperated Peggy stomps off. Not only was that inconclusive and upsetting, technically they're late now!
On a phonograph in his office, Benson is listening to a self-help speaker, and seriously, at this point Benson is either the most earnest, decent guy you've ever met, or he's a serial killer. The phone rings, disrupting his reverie, and after he answers, the look on his face suggests he's indeed going to need some inner resources to deal with whatever situation...
...and, sure enough, once Stan has opened up Ginzo's locked office from the inside, Benson finds a sweaty Ginzo sitting on the floor complaining that he didn't sleep the night before, and he's got diarrhea and dry mouth. You'd think have something in the supply closet that could treat all of these. Did they ever have Pepto-Bismol as an account? Benson gets down on one knee and tries to be all rah-rah Ginzo, and it's not like he's never presented before, but I guess it's fair to conclude he's never done so as the sole Creative voice. Stan and Ginzo continue their married act as Stan complains that Ginzo will talk to Benson and Ginzo assures him he loves him -- "you're like a mother hen" -- before Ginzo tells Benson he's not going. Benson tries some motivational speech that makes me suspect he's already got the record memorized, but when Ginzo continues with the crazy talk (he's heading for Dog Day Afternoon territory), the upshot being that he can't do the Evil Ad World's bidding anymore, Benson gets to his feet and yells that there's no evil here -- Manischewitz are Ginzo's people and make a product used in religious ceremonies. "Now pull yourself together and be the man that I admire!" Ginzo rocks back and forth on the floor for a moment, but then grasps Benson's outstretched hand and allows him to pull him up before thanking him thusly: "Tell me the truth. Are you a homo?" Benson isn't fazed, though, so I guess the shorts were just that comfortable.
Roger, dressed in a navy sport coat and an ascot (!), meets Don outside the hotel. Don makes a mildly dismissive comment about Harry, but Roger tells him that he got them three big meetings, and while Don may have forgotten because Chevy fell in his lap, "big accounts require a golf and dining offensive." Yeah, I mean, when Roger is telling you to be more appreciative of other people, maybe it's worth taking notice. Without new business Don would surely have fired all their clients by now. Harry pulls up, still, to Don's disgust, driving the Mustang, and as "Harper Valley P.T.A." kicks up...
...we cut to the party, at which Harry introduces Don and Roger to the blonde hostess, who tells them where they can find the food, booze and joints. She escorts them into a parlor in which there are all sorts of mod people and hippies chatting and milling about; after she leaves them, Roger leers appreciatively, but Harry cautions him to go with the flow, as these people "don't dig business cards." Sure. Don then sees a diminutive guy outside and recognizes him as Danny, and Harry informs them he's "Daniel J. Siegel" now, a major producer. He left New York two, maybe three years ago? I'd be jealous of a fictional character if not for the saving grace of him looking absolutely ridiculous. The hair alone is making Ginzo look put together by comparison. Danny warmly greets the [NAME] group, and Don at least sounds sincere enough as he asks what Danny's up to these days. Danny tells them he's taking care of bidness before introducing a tall woman named "Lotus" who's made up entirely of Native American jewelry, weed and sunglasses. Roger tries to show off with a "Danny is short" joke, and while several wide shots have made that an indisputable fact, the comment is still beneath him. Roger continues to try to score points off Danny, and on the one hand, while Danny's being so irritatingly '60s Hollywood that he's kind of asking for it, Roger is clearly only doing it to impress the stoner chick, so I'd like to follow Don and Harry as they head to the bar. But no, we hear Roger tells Lotus that he and Danny used to be related, and then the best he can do is another short joke, while Danny drops of bunch of names that are legit impressive before taking Lotus away, so I guess Danny won that round, not that Roger even remembers Danny's name once he catches sight of a blonde in a bikini walking by. Also, Danny's apparently making Alice in Wonderland, which certainly makes sense for this season.
Don's chatting with a male composer when he notices a woman getting out of the pool. Harry then rushes up with possible news of another party...
...but then we cut to Don walking into a very smoky room, which is no wonder given the octopus-like hookah in its center. Don claims to be looking for the restroom, but the hostess from earlier invites him to sample the pipe. He takes off his shoes and sits on a cushion to her. She asks if he likes hash, and he wryly replies that he doesn't know yet. Heh. And look, hash is powerful stuff, but I'd think the things that happen to Don's face before he even exhales might be a bit much, except it occurs to me the room is so smoky that he was probably high already. A man's voice asks him if he came in a taxi, and Don nods? I thought we established that Harry drove them, but it's certainly possible that he intended to nod whether or not a question was even asked.
Night has fallen, and Roger is sitting with Lotus, but I think that's less due to attraction to him and more that she doesn't have the energy to move, especially since, as she nods in response to Roger's question, she's tripping. At least she took the shades off, though. Roger tries hitting on her anyway, adding that he's done acid five times, as opposed to the five times she's done it this week, and then Danny reappears and tells Lotus they're going. Roger is nasty to him some more in aid of trying to get Lotus for himself, and Danny smiles that Roger's lucky he hates violence, but when Roger talks about boxing and "that magic spot that will drop a man to his knees" before making yet another short joke, Danny punches him right in the dick without even having to bend down. See, Roger, there are benefits to standing that low! Roger collapses onto a chaise longue as Danny leads the giggling Lotus away...
...while inside, Don's just starting to make out with the Hash Hostess when someone taps him on the shoulder -- "Megan," wearing Cher's sixties hair and headband and telling him it's California, and "everybody shares." As usual, it's unclear how far the hallucination goes -- Hash Hostess sees "Megan" and asks if it's Don's "old lady," but we don't know if this is all unreal, or if HH is seeing something different from Don, or what. Don dreamily asks how "Megan" found him, and she tells him she lives there. "I quit my job; I couldn't bear to be apart. And I want to have enough love for my other surprise." She reaches for her stomach, letting us know she's pregnant, and it all seems like harmless drug-induced fun until you consider the prospect of Don Draper being a father, again. "Megan" takes Don by the hand and leads him through the house -- whatever reality this may be, the party is still going strong -- and then tells him that everybody's looking for him. Don pulls out a smoke, and a hand holding a lighter comes into frame -- and when we pan left, we see it's a uniformed PFC Dinkins ("Megan" is gone), the soldier in whose Hawaiian wedding Don participated. He's missing his right arm, and when Don asks what happened, he says he's not at liberty to discuss it. "My wife thinks I'm MIA. But I'm actually dead." Don asks if that's the case why PFC Dinkins didn't get his arm back, and I have to admit I was wondering the exact same thing, but PFC Dinkins replies, "Dying doesn't make you whole. You should see what you look like." With that, Don hears a splash from outside and someone calling "Man overboard." He turns... and sees himself floating face-down in the pool. I hate to chastise a man with one arm, PFC Dinkins, particularly since it's not exactly your fault that we're going to the death-wish place with Don yet again, but if you want this transition not to seem forced, there has to be a piece of Don missing. And while I can think of many things he lacks, unless you're going to draw a conclusion as to what it is, the line doesn't quite work. But let's move on...
...to Don, apparently having been fished out of the pool by Roger, coming to on the deck and coughing out some water. I mean, if he was that stoned I don't know how he even got to his feet, much less all the way outside.
Ted finds Cutler in his office and doesn't hesitate to give him a warm embrace -- the Chevy guy signed off on their work, and he's highly enough placed that they'll no longer have to cut through red tape stretched from there to Detroit. Benson then buzzes and is sent in, looking as miserable as you do when you realize your motivational records have failed you, and tells them he doesn't mean to interrupt. Cutler: "That's what you're doing." It doesn't look like much on paper, but his nonplussed delivery sells it. The character may be a weirdo, but I sure do love Harry Hamlin. Regardless, Ted invites Benson in, whereupon Benson spills it -- Manischewitz is putting them in review, and the presentation was only a courtesy -- they haven't liked the work in months. Ted asks Cutler why he wasn't there, but Cutler tells him he thought it was high time they "embraced" Benson, and Benson tries to fall on the grenade, saying Cutler was going to go, but Benson talked him out of it. Ted, however, isn't letting Cutler off that easily: "Roger Sterling let you watch his dog and it ran away!" Well, it sounds more like he's toeing the property line, but the point is taken. Cutler steps forward and thanks Benson for handling the situation "like a man," and as a reward, they'd like him to bring himself up to speed on Chevy. "We just found out we're moving to the step; we're going to need more than Ken in Detroit." Ted looks a little nonplussed himself, but it seems like Cutler's realized the value of having an ally among the SCDP people. Also, he did at least get Ginzo there and back without anyone dying (I assume).
When Benson's gone, Ted still gives Cutler a "Why I oughtta..." look, but Cutler points out that they have a lot more good news than bad from the past few days. Ted still thinks Cutler's splitting the place, "and not in half," so Cutler gets a crafty look on his face and says they can give the SCDP people something to appease them...
...and then we cut to Don and Roger, asleep on the plane -- until Don starts coughing. Does this mean there's a hooker close at hand? Roger can't believe Don caught a cold in California, and Don muses that he doesn't know what happened -- he usually feels better out there. Roger tells him that his shrink says "the job of your life" is to know yourself. "Sooner or later, you'll start to love who you are." That's... not bad, especially when Roger goes on that "apparently," he's a curious child with a full head of hair and a thriving business. It'd be interesting to know what Roger thought he was before he started seeing this therapist, my opinion of whom continues to rise, but let's focus on Roger adding that Don's a terrible swimmer. Don gives him a smile, but when he turns back to the window, the look on his face makes me wonder if he's seen A Star Is Born since the season premiere.
Joan's having a sandwich at her desk when Meredith enters and tells her Pete would like to see her in the conference room. Joan looks uncharacteristically apprehensive as she pauses for a moment before asking what it's regarding, whereupon Meredith tells her that Avon sent over a box of samples for the girls, "and Diane opened it, not me." Hee. I'll say one thing about this place -- the support staff always grows on you. Joan says she'll be right in...
...as Pete's barking for all the women to clear out. Meredith enters and tells Pete that Joan will be right there, before wisely bailing herself. When Joan appears, Pete spits that he'd like to know, referring to the note that accompanied the box, when Joan had a "productive breakfast," and goes on that she and Peggy ditched him. Joan absolves Peggy of any blame, but starts to hide behind "some confusion," which Pete rightly doesn't buy for one moment. Peggy then enters, and Pete wonders if she's come to laugh at what a fool he was too, but Peggy evenly tells him he upset the girls, who had nothing to do with this. Joan asks if the point shouldn't be that Avon is happy, to which Pete and his best lemon-sucking face remark that he's sure Joan's making Andy very happy. Joan snarls that it's better than being screwed by Pete, and Pete doesn't have an answer for that, so he goes to do what he does best -- tattle. When he's gone, Peggy tells Joan to let her handle Ted, but Joan's made up her mind to face the music, so she sits down purposefully, whereupon Pete returns with Ted in tow. Ted asks Joan if she really met with Avon without inviting Pete, and although Peggy tries to stand with Joan, Pete and Ted send her off.
When she gets outside, she gets a sneaky look on her face and hustles into Joan's office and shuts the door. In case you've forgotten your [NAME] geography, Joan's office borders the conference room, and although you can't see between them, there's still a functioning speaker into Joan's office that Peggy now activates. Meredith wanders in, and Peggy shushes her...
...while inside, Pete is saying that he takes no issue with Joan thinking of Andy as "her" client, but she still breached the fundamental rules of their business: The account exec is supposed to sign the business and then send his junior to maintain it. "The whole thing falls apart if I send you to the store to get cake and you eat it on the way home!" Ted asks if Joan really tried to squeeze Pete out, and Joan looks like she doesn't know what to say...
...whereupon Peggy, thinking fast, writes something on a "While You Were Out" pad and shows it to Meredith...
...who then interrupts the meeting to tell Joan that Andy is on the phone for her. Pete and Ted aren't thrilled, but Ted tells her to go take it. Joan enters her office and sees Peggy, who holds a finger to her lips as they listen in...
...to Pete asking Ted if that's the extent of Joan's reprimand. Ted tells him possession is nine-tenths of the law, and he'll still benefit from the agency signing business. He leaves, and Pete looks so angry he might tear out what's left of his hair.
Back in her office, Joan thanks Peggy, and Peggy walks to the door, but turns to tell Joan she'd better hope Andy really calls. Joan looks a lot more scared at the close shave than her demeanor in front of Ted and Pete betrayed, but Peggy's wry smile lets us know that she's on Joan's side, again, some more. Which is as it should be because really, who do they trust more in this place than each other?
Don and Roger return, and Dawn welcomes them back -- no offense, but Teyonah Parris got a check for this? -- but Pete informs them that his business is urgent, so Don and Roger sigh and take Pete into the former's office. Pete doesn't even have time to get the word "Avon" out of his mouth, though, much less "backstabbing red-haired siren who doesn't respect the patriarchal chain of command," when Ted, Cutler and Bertram enter, and Ted says they have some news. Bertram suggests they get Joan -- see, it is possible for them to go in search of a missing partner! -- but Pete kiboshes that, although I don't know that everyone should really listen to him no matter how hard he's chewing on his lower lip. Ted and Cutler give the news about Chevy, Avon (Don is surprised to hear Joan is handling it; interestingly, Roger seems unfazed), and Manischewitz (Roger, hilariously: "It's been coming for months"), but go on that they have what they think is a "deferential solution" regarding the name -- they'll go with "Sterling Cooper and Partners." Everyone takes that in, and Ted goes on that it would be contingent on him, Cutler and Don "all sharing the blow," which is an unfortunate way to put it in this drug-addled season, but I kind of would like to see Cutler and Ted have a coke party, at least. God knows the things that would come out about Gleason. Don is surprised that Ted and Cutler are willing to do that, but he doesn't seem too bent out about losing his own initial as he muses, "SC ampersand P." Everyone shakes hands on it, and Cutler says he'll get Art on the logo as Pete stands off to the side like he's preparing to kick them all in the shins.
Outside, Roger compliments Bertram's work, but Bertram confesses he had nothing to do with it. Pete, however, lingers in Don's office and closes the door before asking if he really has no problem with the proposal. Don tells him he doesn't, and again seems to mean it, but Pete spits that the name concession is a consolation prize. "It's a gravestone to our resistance." He tells Don they're not in the same business as they were, to which Don merely replies that maybe it's time to get out, then. Having no answer to that, Pete stomps out as Don asks Dawn to get Megan on the phone for him...
...and then we see Pete wander into the Creative lounge and sit to Stan, who's toking up, as it is among his waking hours. Pete grabs the joint out of his hand, and when Stan leaves in a huff (puff?), Pete sits and takes a drag off the thing as Janis Joplin's "Piece Of My Heart" kicks up. The action slows down to three-quarter speed, which would seem indulgent if we hadn't already seen Hippie Megan and PFC Def Leppard, but while I don't know that I see this development as being as significant as the show seems to, anything that makes Pete clench like ten percent less hard seems like an overdue development.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the sale of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, will be in theaters in July. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter account. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.