Company Woman

S05E11

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.

Don's stressing over the Jaguar pitch when Megan springs a possible theater engagement on him that'll take her to Boston for three months, if she gets the part. Peggy, who pulls off yet another home run on a conference call and gets no respect for it from Don, Peggy whose resentment has been well-earned and brewing for some time, spouts off in a minor way that -- combined with the other stuff, plus a deeply awful thing I am going to tell you all about in a minute -- causes him to go crazy and throw money in her face. I would say that's the worst thing that happens, and in any other episode it would be, but here it's like #3 on the list of horrible, sickening moments.

Ken and Pete try to leverage a Jaguar vote, the head of the Dealers' Association who is a central-casting cigar-chomping tub of gross named Herb Rennet. He tells them his non-negotiable demand: A night with Joan Harris. (Whose rapist husband, her mother reminds us, we all wish would die over in Viet Nam already.) Pete, nastier than he's been in quite a while, of course runs this offer straight over to Joan, on the off chance that maybe prostitution is something she's been wanting to try. She somehow refrains from slapping the ever-loving shit out him, and politely demurs, so he takes it to a SCDP partner vote. After the men pick their jaws up off the floor and put their brains back in their heads from the appalling fact that this is even a thing that's happening, Don storms out.

Cooper never really knows what's going on, Sterling is nominally disgusted but a creep himself, and Lane... Well, Lane just wants that bonus he always wants, so they won't cart him off to jail. He weakly agrees to the plan, to stall, so that he can do an end-run around the whole party and tell Joan not to ask for cash, if she does it -- Pete wants to give her fifty grand, in prostitution money -- but just ask to become a minority partner in the firm. It's couched as a loving gesture, sage financial advice from her biggest ally, but really he's just watching out for himself.

All of this setup, by the way, takes place in an atypically unsubtle web of metaphors and parallels about how you can't control women -- Peggy's job worries, Megan's acting career, Joan's ineffable Joan-ness -- but that's what makes you want them. So the Jaguar pitch circles around this idea of the car-as-mistress, in a particularly gruesome way, before Ginsberg comes up with an even grosser take, which is that at least you can own a Jaguar, which makes them better than wives or mistresses. And that ends up being the pitch, with the usual Don Draper flourishes, which is itself ironic because he's being such a good husband this year and reversing every terrible thing he did to Betty in like chronological order.

It's sort of the most Mad Men episode of any episode of Mad Men, or like what you would think the show would be like if you'd only ever heard people talk about it: Tits, ass, whoring out of secretaries, cheating on wives, smoking, day-drinking, whatever. Real gross. The essentially unlovable Pete's having some kind of midlife teen crisis where all he wants is an apartment in the city so he can have sex with all kinds of girls even though his wife is perfect. The named partners of SCDP are having actual meetings about whether or not to make Joan have sex with a dude, even while they're throwing up about that fact. Megan's audition involves being treated like meat, Lane's running around forging checks and being creepy. Everybody yells at Don the entire time, and all he does is get sadder and sadder, and meaner and meaner and meaner.

So once he hears about the new terms, Don rushes over to Joan's house to beg her not to go through with it -- which is a surprise, because Pete implied that they were all super into the idea, when the truth is that only Pete is gross enough to be into the idea at all, and Don wasn't even at the meeting -- and she thanks him for being a "good one," touches his face, and sends him off to do his Jaguar pitch... Never letting on that in fact she'd just gotten back from fucking the gross Jaguar guy. (It's fairly devastating, since, by a trick of editing, we don't yet know that either.)

Meanwhile, Peggy gets some advice from Freddy Rumsen -- always a sensible plan -- and sets up a meeting with old Ted Chaough, who is dying to have her come join his firm, and offers her even more money than her sky-high opening bid. For a thousand reasons, not the least of which is the fact that she has outgrown her mentor, she actually decides to take the job. Not sure how that will turn out, considering Ted and Don's weird mutual obsession, but Peggy's been swimming with the sharks for awhile now.

But the day -- as Peggy's trying to quit -- Jaguar calls: They got the account. And who's that coming in the door at the partners' meeting about it? New partner Joan Harris. Which is depressing enough, because it means she went through with it, but also ironic and sad in a grand Shakespearian sense, because he'll never know how much his visit meant to her: He just thinks he came and told her not to go through with it, and then she did it anyway. Either way, they have Jaguar -- and it means absolutely nothing, as far as any of them (save Pete, and I guess Cooper) really care. For a show that's often about hollow victories, this was the hollowest. And that's not even the heartbreaker!

Peggy finally gets Don alone and delivers a short, but very wonderful speech about all he's done for her, and he moves through these, like, stages of grief. It's horrifying. First he's like, "Gimme the bottom line," and then realizes she's actually quitting, so he turns his pretty smile up to a hysterical 11 that looks like he has lost his mind, and that doesn't work, so then he gets all sour and entitled and scary-mean and almost mentions the Baby Thing, and that doesn't work, so then he just tells her to clean out her desk.

And when she offers him her hand, he kisses it for a very long, very sad, slightly weird amount of time. Peggy chokes back tears, gets a silent salute from Joan that she doesn't even know about, and then grins her way onto the elevator and out into the world. And I mean, I was relieved when the episode eventually ended -- what a fucking drag, man -- but ten times more relieved that it ended that way. Good luck, little lady. I would say you should have taken Joan with you, but those dorks wouldn't last five minutes.

-- Jacob Clifton

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Obviously this is the most talked-about episode on this show in a while. And it should be - it's painful, flawed, and brilliant. That said, before I get lost in the Joan stuff, I want to say I think the show has done episodes about three women in distress at the hands of men better -- I'd put "A Night To Remember" ahead of this effort no question and although smaller in ambition you could even make a case for "The Beautiful Girls". I would not, however, put many things ahead of certain performances in this episode, particularly Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss in the last scene and Christina Hendricks all the way through. So without further ado:

In the conference room, we get our first signal that they are going hardcore on this Jaguar thing by the fact that Don is sitting around the big table with his team and he chastises Stan for a (joking) pitchline involving the word "mistress" explaining, "The salesman can use it, but the campaign can't." Don then gets up to take a break, leaving Ginzo, Stan and two Creative members I'm shocked survived last year's big purge inside. (One of them was even from SCDP -- picture him with blood and paper all over him.) Or maybe these guys are freelancing now, which makes sense during a cash crunch.

Cut to Don coming out of his office with a bottle of what's presumably pain reliever, when Peggy catches him so he can sign off on Secor. Don, however, rather impatiently reminds her that she's in charge of all non-Jaguar business for the time being (...really? That seems like a lot of responsibility even for Peggy) and then Joan appears with two cart-pushing secretaries in tow, informing them that Roger bought the Creative boys lobster from the Palm. As the team whoops appreciatively, the women bring the lobster in and Peggy stares like she's considering trying to lick the shellfish through the glass. I mean, I'm not sure anyone would begrudge her popping in and nicking a bit of it, but whatever you may say about this episode it's not exactly subtle in the points it's trying to make.

Speaking of lack of nuance, this gross, overweight, middle-aged pig who is at dinner with Pete and Ken is, as we'll learn, the head of the Dealers' Association and part of Jaguar's selection committee and he cautions the boys that Creative has to be "pretty spectacular" to make the product stand out. Ken and Pete aren't worried, not with the XK-E in their pocket, but Gross Pig (given the level of subtlety in this episode, the name seems to fit) talks about people going the extra mile and whatever and doesn't drag it out too much longer before mentioning that "dynamite redhead" he saw at the SCDP offices and how he sure would love to get to know her better. Ken at least starts to shut that line of inquiry down, but Pete, grimy little pimp that he is, keeps the guy's hopes up although he doesn't go so far as to promise anything. Gross Pig says that if it were to happen, it would make him happy and then he gets up to go eat some corpses for a mob boss or whatever else pigs do. Ken asks if that was what he thinks it was and Pete, aiming for a seat in the slophouse himself, grossly says that yes, it suuuuure was. Ken asks why Pete didn't let him tell the guy Joan's married and Pete counters that it's because Gross Pig is too and he's sure it wouldn't matter to him. Ken sighs, "Well, we wanted to be in the car business" and it's not a bad line but I'm assuming he's being this blithe because there's NO WAY he's going to be the one to approach Joan about this.

Megan's sitting on the bed reading sides when Don comes home and is surprised to see she waited up. She's like, well, not really since I have this big audition and maybe we should talk about your day instead? After Don "jokes" that he's going to watch Carson and cry himself to sleep, Megan offers her help, so he tells her where they are -- Jaguars are beautiful, but unreliable and you basically need another car if you actually want to get anywhere, so the Jag is like your gorgeous mistress. Megan asks if that makes the wife a Buick in the garage before wondering if being sold as a mistress makes the car seem immoral, but Don -- probably having covered this ground many times already -- tells her the word "mistress" won't be in the ad. Shockingly, despite this disclaimer Megan the Buick has not much to contribute, so she clicks on Carson for Don and heads into the living room to learn her lines. And if the overt discussion of the ad angle isn't icky enough for you...

...here's Pete, having shown up early to tell Joan he could use her help with some "bad news" and it's a good thing he had a whole train ride to rehearse being quite this disingenuous. He says that Gross Pig (casually referring to him as a "handsome guy" and ew) isn't prepared to back them and when Joan asks why, feigns discomfort before informing her that they're going to lose Jaguar unless "an arrangement" is made that involves her. Joan, god love her, exhibits no surprise as she reaches for a cigarette and flatly asks how that came up and Pete continues his cock-and-bull retelling of the story and says he could really use her help figuring out a way to break the news to the company. Joan spits that Pete is unbelievable and that she's married and Pete, if this is the result of your rehearsals maybe you should work with Megan on how to seem more authentic. Now aware that indirection isn't going to get the job done, Pete goes head-on and tells Joan that they're not talking about prostitution as she labels it, but "business at a very high level," even comparing what he's asking to what Cleopatra did for Egypt. "She was a queen. What would it take to make you a queen?" The problem, Pete, is that she already is. You're actually talking about taking that away from her. Joan tells him she doesn't think he could afford her price, showing that vagueness in phrasing is your enemy in situations like this. So Pete gets up and starts to head out before turning and positively dripping insincerity as he tells her what he proposed was an act of desperation and he hopes he hasn't insulted her. "That's all that matters to me." The fact that he did this makes my blood boil, but it's the fact that he'd do it again in a second that makes me lose hope.

Peggy and Ken are with Harry in his office preparing for a call with Chevalier Blanc cologne, the impetus for which is that they've pulled their Beatles-influenced ad. Rick greets them and tells them sales have leveled off and when Harry points out that Valentine's Day is coming up and women need something to buy their dudes, Rick wonders why women would buy their men anything for that holiday. Inasmuch as I don't know why the holiday exists at all, I agree, but Peggy leans forward and says that it's true the Hard Day's Night ad was targeting women, but they can easily change that. Rick wonders how and there's a looooong pause (I'm sure someone in the room was counting the seconds) and then Peggy pulls an idea out of her ass involving Lady Godiva in Paris "as naked as we are allowed to make her" and we could of course discuss how Lady Godiva is getting prostituted here, but she's so far back in line I can barely see her boobs. The point is, Peggy's idea is a hit and I hope there's some of that lobster left for her.

The partners convene in Pete's office, whereupon he tells them without mincing words of Gross Pig's demand. I will say in the interests of accurate reporting that Gross Pig didn't explicitly say that he wouldn't back them if they didn't hook him up, but he strongly implied it. So Pete's probably right to relate this version of events, as much as there can be any "right" in CALLING A PARTNER'S MEETING TO DISCUSS WHORING OUT THEIR EMPLOYEE. Everyone is basically like, "Ewwwwww" and Don points out that there are three voting members, but Pete thinks the other two are yes men who will just go along with Gross Pig. He goes on that he brought the subject up with Joan and it's all Lane can do not to revisit using his face as a punching bag right there, but Pete goes on that Joan seemed "more amused than shocked" which I suppose could technically be true. He starts to offer that if they brought her the right amount, she might be open to it, but while the other partners are essentially silent (Roger is shocked that she'd go through with it, but he's thinking about himself as usual) Don is able to use his words, spitting that Joan has a husband in Vietnam and a baby at home and, by the way, the work will be good enough to win on its own. Interesting that Don is so quick to defend Joan by using her marital status when (a) he's the only one who knows about Joan and Greg's estrangement and (b) it's the complete opposite of his attitude toward Sal in an analogous situation that even lacked compensation (although he'd also caught Sal cheating, it's true). Lane can't believe Pete had the gall to even ask her, but Pete, his cards on the table now, fires back that they've all come too far and are too close to turning SCDP "into what it should be." If Don notices that Pete is throwing his inspirational words from the end of last episode back in his face he doesn't show it, but he does tell them they don't need Gross Pig -- end of discussion -- and then he leaves. Don, let this be a lesson to you not to leave until you're sure the meeting is over, because as you'd expect, Pete asks everyone else how they feel and suggests they give Joan a 10% finder's fee on the first year, which would be fifty grand. Roger offers he's not going to stand in the way "but I am not paying for it." Oh, you'll pay for it, Roger. This is Joan we're talking about -- I have no doubt she'll find a way to make you pay for it. And honestly, Roger not talking to Joan about this is a glaring sacrifice of character at the altar of plot. Pete suggests their bonuses could go to pay Joan, but Lane demurs and I wish his opinion on the matter weren't tainted so that not everyone in this room would be making me sick; on that note, the biggest disappointment is Bertram, who tells Lane that they can't put a dollar figure on a car. Having won, Pete tells Lane to have their credit limit extended and Lane, beaten down, says he'll check into it so they can have an exact dollar figure to offer Joan in the morning. Pete smarmily guesses there's no need to put it to a vote, as the present partners are 75 percent of the company, but Roger -- ROGER! -- tells him what they're doing is a very dirty business and remember he thinks Joan is willing at this point. I kind of forgot about that for a moment and it does make the rest of them a bit less culpable than Pete, especially since Bertram takes care to tell Pete that Joan can still say no. On the other hand, none of them goes to Joan personally and trusting Pete Campbell to be your courier doesn't indicate a deep desire to see the message delivered. With just two of them left, Lane stands and gives Pete a look of such contempt it makes me wonder if he'd have anything left for Gross Pig. I'd kind of like to find out.

In the conference room, Don is lost in thought and then he makes a decision -- he gets to his feet and proclaims the mistress angle "vulgar," adding that they're "going back to racing heritage." When Ginzo asks why, Don snaps that they're all just sitting around goofing off, so they'd better come up with some lines. He then storms out, presumably to cancel the filet mignon lunch order for his team.

Don's retired to his office and poured himself a drink and he's so worked up I'm surprised steam isn't coming out of his mouth as he sips it. Ken, Harry and Peggy then enter with good news and terrible timing, as Don hardly hears the boys' praise of Peggy's single-handed rescue of the account. When she's done telling him about how it'll be filmed in Paris, Don distractedly orders them to bid it out adding that Ginzo should be free by then. Peggy points out that she came up with the idea and when Don counters that it's Ginzo's account, Peggy calls back Don's earlier impatience and asks if this means she isn't in charge of everything outside of Jaguar. In response, Don takes some bills out of his pocket and literally chucks them in her face, disgustedly adding that if she wants to go to Paris, she should go. Like so many things in this episode, this falls into the "Where To Start" category, but it's not just the casual dismissal of her heroic work or the bald rudeness in front of her co-workers -- it's the broader representation of throwing money at her, like that's all that matters in life. "That's what the money is for!" was a great line from Don, but it cuts both ways -- when people pass the point at work where money ceases to be enough, the line throws the idea that the job no longer satisfies into sharp relief. Ken -- one of the few people too nice for this episode -- doesn't bother to hide his disgust as he exits, while Harry takes a moment and looks like he might say something before sheepishly withdrawing. I'm shocked that no one, in the interest of simple humanism if nothing else, thought to close the door on the way out...

...but Ken, at least, is too focused on heading into Peggy's office and locking the door. With a drink in her hand and some steel in her voice, Peggy says she's not crying, but Ken tells her he didn't think she was. He tries to give her an explanation, if not a justification for Don's behavior, saying that they're not getting Jaguar and he thinks Don knows it, but Peggy doesn't care. Ken then tries the tack of saying he'll make sure she goes to Paris and if that doesn't happen, they'll both leave as they agreed. But Peggy's in a mood to pay the shittiness forward: "You and your stupid pact. Save the fiction for your stories." Ken takes that one on the chin and gets out of there and at least Peggy looks less than proud of herself and often happens when you punch a golden retriever.

Oh goody, Lane is turning up to see Joan. Just to frame this encounter, she thinks she's made a clear denial of any interest in this horrible errand with Gross Pig, while Lane thinks she's seriously considering it. So when he tells her they don't need the account that badly, he's being sincere, but she takes understandable offense. Of course, he's got his own ass to cover here, so he tells her that when the company is thinking of spending fifty grand there needs to be a discussion about it. Joan, given the social propriety that's always refined her sex appeal, is aghast that there was any discussion among the partners about it at all, adding that she didn't want anyone to know she was even asked and you'd think this would bring some realization to Lane about her actual feelings on the matter. Whether that's true or not, Joan goes on to wonder in her most seething tone if Roger was involved in the discussion and Lane has to tell her that yes he was, although he does point out that Roger is a partner. Joan, understandably without the complete control she normally exudes, asks why Lane mentioned the number if he's against the idea and in response, Lane comes up with a mixture of truth and lies saying that the number might be enough to turn her head (the obvious implication being that someone was going to approach her with it eventually) and he wanted a chance to dissuade her. Joan bites out that it is a lot of money -- four times what she makes in a year -- and supposes Lane wouldn't even be tempted. Given how important it's ended up being to the season's plotline, it's a fairly grave flaw that we haven't gotten any insight into how Lane let his personal financial mismanagement get so dire, but he doesn't give that the chance to hit him in his own financial misdeeds, instead telling her that if he were, he wouldn't make the mistake of being shy about asking what he wanted. Joan unwillingly plays along, asking what he would want, so he says he settled for too little when the company was formed (it does sound like his equity stake is far less than the other partners' -- whether that's fair is another question) and if he were her, instead of taking the cash he'd ask to be a partner to the tune of five percent. Even if he weren't covering his own ass, I'm not sure I'd agree - five percent of a company that's been hanging on by a thread could turn out to be nothing, while fifty grand in the bank is not.

Of course, the result of all these machinations should be to land Jaguar, in which case the five percent could amount to quite a lot indeed. The point I need to not overlook is that Lane adds that the partnership equity could "take care of a woman and a child for a lifetime" and indeed, the justifications people make for their behavior -- both good and bad -- in the name of providing for family is one of the season's themes that's coming to a head in this episode and that theme is seen in Lane's actions as well as Joan's. Joan, less emotionally, says she thought he was trying to stop this because of his feelings for her and surely those are just making this scene even more complex as Lane haltingly offers that that's why he's looking out for her best interests even over the company's. Joan has no response to that but to gaze at him, undoubtedly trying to figure out whether to take him at his word. And again, trying to figure out the worst things about the events of this episode could scar you for life even in the context of this show, but it's not just that Joan is being pressured into this decision by not only the partners and loyalty to SCDP but by her home situation -- it's that no one is being honest and giving her all the facts. I wish she'd known to talk to Ken, so she could at least get some information from a reliable witness, but as much as I don't want to see her go through with this, I could live with it a little better if she went into it with her eyes truly open. Of course, knowing all the facts isn't making me any happier, so maybe I should just tell you that Lane does not look particularly proud of himself as he pauses for a moment outside Joan's door. It's not much, but it's got to be better than that grimy little pimp.

Speaking of Pete, to emphasize the theme I mentioned above, he's reading "Goodnight Moon" to his daughter as Trudy watches beatifically. What price this life in Cos Cob, Trudy? What happens when your daughter's old enough to be Joan? And was it worth paying SAG child rates to hammer the point home quite this hard?

Don's back in the conference room dozing in his chair when Megan turns up with that red-headed friend Juliet in tow and brightly pulls Don out. Some older dude who I guess is working temp for Jaguar is all, "So THAT'S Megan" and Juliet is like, that'll do pig. Well, not quite, but I'm waiting for SOMEONE to say it.

In his office, between the kisses that Megan is showering him with, Don notices that Megan's wearing her "audition dress" (Say WHAT? I mean, we know it's not lucky) and Megan tells him not to worry, there are probably twenty girls going in and besides, the casting guy is a "fairy." Megan! Aren't you friends with theater queens? If not, that's just another thing you're doing wrong in this business. As Megan pushes Don into a chair and straddles him, he guesses that what she's doing isn't really for him and I'm surprised he's so jaded but he's probably wondering if she's going to start singing "Zou Bisou Bisou" again. She goes for his pants...

...while in the conference room, Juliet is "auditioning" to play the part of a jaguar, purring and crawling around on the table. I'm not sure anyone asked for this, but they don't seem too bent about it either. Meanwhile, Ginzo, staring at Don's closed office door, muses that "she just comes and goes as she pleases." Stan's like, hot redhead in stockings crawling around on the table and Ginzo decides to watch the show. Well, it's either that or go listen at Don's door, I guess.

Trudy, apparently having just put their daughter down, comes to sit with Pete, but instead of trying to enjoy their quiet time together, Pete informs his wife that "if and when" they get Jaguar, he's going to need a place in the city. Pete, could we wait to focus on all the tail you plan to pull in the city until after you're done whoring Joan out? My stomach lining isn't what it used to be. As usual, I thank God for Trudy, who tells him no way, no day -- his love affair with Manhattan is over and by the way, why aren't they even trying for a second child? Pete: "I'm using all my energy putting my foot down!" Pete, with the length of your legs, how much energy could that take?

Joan arrives home to a mother wondering where she was as its eight o'clock and there are some unappetizing smells as the refrigerator is out. And so many people thought this was a lame signal of Joan's financial worries that I'm surprised I didn't see any headlines reading "A Fridge Too Far." (Thanks, Homer Simpson-going-on-disability episode.) Joan wonders why Gail didn't call someone to fix it and Gail replies, "His wife won't let him come here anymore." Hey, I'm not going to begrudge Gail a piece of blue-collar tail if that's what she's into, but she then wonders why no one will believe that she and "Apollo" are just friends and you'd do better to own it, lady. With as trying a day as she's had, Joan isn't exactly up for the usual mother-daughter snittery and snaps that they can afford to get someone else, getting this response from her mother: "Get a colored girl in here. They're used to getting bossed around." Joan looks like she's ready to get right back on the bus to Midtown, but Gail isn't done as she points her acid tongue in Greg's direction; when Joan asks that she not talk that way around Kevin, Gail counters that he's just a baby. "He doesn't know we all wish his father was dead." Both of them -- based on this episode -- if we're bring honest. Joan basically throws herself on her mother's mercy and when Gail ascertains that she's been drinking, she has her daughter sit down and heads to the bar to pour a round, which I'm thinking is actually not the first for either of them.

At home, Megan bursts into the bedroom and tells Don that she's one of four girls to get called back for Little Murders and she gets to meet the playwright week and just imagine if she gets to go to Boston? Don's like, whoa sister -- Boston for three months is not happening. Megan's face falls as she asks him how he thought this worked. And honestly, I know Don can be selectively rube-ish when he wants to be, but is he completely unaware of regional theater? He tries to head out the door, but she guesses he never thought about the logistics because he didn't expect her to make it. "This is the way it works. Now you know." She storms out, and he yells after her to keep doing whatever the hell she wants. Well, there goes the celebration sex.

Oh man, Joan has come to talk to Pete and once they've taken a seat, she instructs him to inform the partners that she wants a five percent non-silent partnership. "There's no negotiation." I'd cheer this open-and-shut performance if she didn't sound so palpably sad; her tone is like a whistle only your soul can hear. Pete takes her at her word, but balks when she tells him she wants papers by the end of the day as obviously she can't guarantee results. When they get past that hurdle, Pete leans forward and says he's not sure how the logistics will work here, which is rich coming from the pimp himself, so you can hardly blame Joan for raising her voice and telling him to figure something out. "Do I have to do all of it?" If you're talking about Gross Pig, I'm afraid so. Pete at least looks abashed in response and taking that as assent, Joan gets up to go, but turns back to ask which one Gross Pig is. Pete tries to tell her he's not bad, but Joan simply replies, "He's doing this." I'd like to say Pete takes a moment to contemplate the fact that he is too. I'd really like to say that.

Ginzo comes in to see Don and, after he navigates the latter's terrible mood, tentatively offers that while he knows they were supposed to drop the mistress angle, he imagines "the asshole who's going to want this car" and how he must have a lot of beautiful things. Don reluctantly acknowledges this and gives Ginzo leave to continue, so he tells Don that the copy will be describing a woman who's like the car -- beautiful, fast, impractical -- but a woman you can't have. Don says he was always fine with that concept, but they need a line to which Ginzo replies: "Jaguar: At last, something beautiful you can truly own." Don considers this for a moment before breaking into a grin of relief, which is gross, but far better than the alternative that as far as he knows isn't happening.

Hey, Peggy's meeting with Freddy Rumsen! He can't help but be amused upon hearing about Don's little stunt with the money and Peggy seems to have adopted some disdainful world-weariness about the whole thing at least. Freddy offers that he can ever tell if Peggy's ambitious or just likes to complain, but if it were the former, she'd realize that having all this new responsibility makes it the perfect time to make a move from SCDP. Peggy doesn't seem to take him seriously at first, lightly agreeing that she could take a couple meetings, but Freddy suggests she do a lot more than that -- she could shine elsewhere. "And you'd let him know you're not some secretary from Brooklyn who's dyin' to help out." This hits Peggy where she used to live, but she's still not quite ready to let go of her hero worship of Don. However, Freddy tells her he can help her, adding that he might benefit too by going back to SCDP for some work before assuring her that if Don weren't the subject of the conversation he'd tell her to leave too. I love this progressive reincarnation of Freddy Rumsen in his post-alcohol era, but Peggy looks like shit just got incredibly real for her. Again, good episode for it.

Pete comes in to tell Don that the campaign is brilliant and by the way, he can present in the fullest confidence as they've removed "all other impediments." The color goes out of Don's face as realization sets in and he tells Pete to close the door. Pete, however, knows where this is going and tells Don it was four to zero with Don having abstained. "The conversation doesn't end just because you leave the room." I said that before; now I want to take it back, because I hate to get caught agreeing with Pete on any point this episode. After Don hears what Pete promised Joan, knowing it's an offer she probably can't refuse, he yells for Dawn to buzz her and when Pete softly tells him she's not there, he amends the order to her getting him his things. On his way out, Don seethes that he doesn't want it like this, but Pete shrugs his shoulders: "It was her idea." I'm guessing he's referring to the compensation, as we all know Gross Pig conceived of the unspeakable act, but I think Don is leaving with the impression that Joan is a lot more willing than she actually is. It's tragic on a rather epic scale that he's the only one who cares about her enough to stop this and yet the information only he has been privy to about her divorce is making her cooperation seem more likely to him than to anyone else. But hey, maybe he'll sway her yet...

...because he's lost no time in getting up to her place. Gail lets him in and after she's gotten Joan out of the bedroom and withdrawn to the nursery, Joan, wearing a robe, asks what she can do for Don. Don flatly tells her that Jaguar isn't worth what they're asking her to do and adds, "Who wants to be in business with people like that?" Joan comes as close as she ever does to flinching before quietly saying she was told everyone was on board and when Don explains what really happened, she finds a smile through her sadness: "You're a good one, aren't you?" Don asks if that means she understands what he's saying and she says she does before thanking him and telling him she's all right. Relieved, he tells her to have a nice night while he goes to prepare, but she reaches out a hand and silently caresses his cheek in a gesture of affection. He looks a bit bewildered, but leaves without any further comment than a wish that she "say goodnight to your friend" and I'd make a comment about how Gail must be loving being mistaken as a friend of Joan's instead of her mother, but this is so not the time for that.

It looks like Ocean's Eleven as the SCDP boys -- Don, Roger, Pete, Stan, Harry and Ken -- roll into the Jaguar showroom. Cut to Don talking about how deep beauty creates deep desire -- and then we cut to Joan turning up to a hotel room and seeing Gross Pig answer the door. Oh GOD. She's at least putting forth her usual Joan confidence even as she must be dying inside and she enters before we cut back to Don talking some more about longing; then back to the hotel, in which Gross Pig fastens an emerald stone on a gold chain around Joan's neck. More intercutting, more talk of unattainable objects, Gross Pig asking to "see 'em," Joan wordlessly turning away so he can unzip her dress. It's no coincidence she's been compared to Helen of Troy and Cleopatra in this episode; what we're seeing is tragedy on a grand scale. Don talks about how you can actually have a Jaguar and then it's... afterwards, as Gross Pig thanks her for a wonderful time and says she's a "hell of a gal." Don unveils the art with the tagline on it and no one looks more enthused than Gross Pig...

...and then Joan, in her bedroom, is just taking off the necklace Gross Pig gave her and putting it back in the box (doesn't look like she's throwing it away) when her mother comes in to tell her Don is there. So she'd already gone through with it when he turned up, as if you didn't think the tragedy could be elevated any further. Joan asks why Gail told him Joan was home, making me wonder how much she told Gail, but Gail simply says he's her boss and she should see him. She heads back out and Joan, with a look of absolute despair, pulls her robe on...

...and now we get to relive the scene armed with the knowledge that Joan already gave it up for Gross Pig. Well, it's actually only up to the point where Don tells her it's not worth it and she closes her eyes in realization. I'm actually surprised they didn't let the whole thing play out again; in an episode that is sticking your face right up to it, I can understand why they'd want to give us two looks at the scene one without all the relevant information and one with, just to drive home how the characters are viewing the same events through extremely different prisms here. The plus side -- if there is one -- is that I don't have to witness as much of Joan's pain, which, as I've probably said before is my Kryptonite.

Don leads the boys back into SCDP and Joan stops him with a question of how it went. He says they'll see, but his grin betrays how good he feels about the whole thing. Roger adds that it was one of his good ones and I'd imagine he's trying to normalize things with Joan, which is embarrassing for everyone on many levels. Don asks if she'd like to join them for a drink and she chirps, "Maybe later!" while her face looks like a moderate breeze might cause it to shatter. Once Don walks on, Joan finishes filing what I'm hoping is her executed partnership agreement...

...while across town, Megan walks into her callback in front of three guys. One of them immediately has her do a spin so he can check out her ass. He could be checking to see if she fits his image of the part, but while it may be clinical it's still gross; still, the way she flinches upon being asked makes me think that her audition dress hasn't seen as much action as she claims.

Peggy's back in the diner dressed a bit more saucily than usual, when her date joins her -- TED CHAOUGH. Oh shit! He gets right into it, saying Freddy and also Tom Vogel (Pete's father-in-law from Clearasil/Vick Chemical, you'll remember) have sung her praises. Peggy fondly remembers that Clearasil was her first account and Chaough goes on that while other people she might talk to will want to know (a) if she's going to have a baby and (b) how much she wants to be paid, what he's interested in is this: Why would she want to work for him, given that her mentor is his mortal business enemy? Peggy simply tells him that her career isn't a game, so Chaough goes on that he does need a writer and he's tired of people who treat what they do like math. "I looked at your book and I saw somebody who was writing like every product was for them. No clichés, no homilies, no formula." This being more praise that Peggy's gotten from Don in almost five seasons, she stammers that she had a lot of help, but Chaough points out that everyone does and indeed, I'll add that there's plenty of great work she must have done that's reflected in someone else's book so it goes both ways. He then admits he lied before, asking what she would want to get paid and, visibly swallowing, she gets out a pad and writes down a number as Chaough, amused, wonders if Freddy told her to do that. Heh. When he looks down, he tells her that she knows she wants to go, she knows her price and she didn't make him wait -- all good things, so he's going to return them in kind. He slides the pad over to her and it has her title request of "Copy Chief" checked, but the salary of $18,000 a year crossed out and replaced... with $19,000. (Also, in a nice Chaoughian touch, the SCDP name on the stationery is crossed out too.) Peggy does her best large-mouthed bass imitation, but Chaough tells her there's one catch -- this has to be her last meeting. Peggy gasps that she needs a chocolate shake and Chaough gives her a kind smile: "First day of work ends with you and me at La Caravelle." I mean, I want this so bad for her, but there's no way it can work out... right?

Don comes home to find Megan, who obviously didn't get the part and no word on whether it was her ass that was lacking but it's a hard thought to dismiss. He sits with her and strokes her hair as she asks how the Jaguar presentation went and he tells her they're waiting to hear. Megan says she bets he was great and you can practically see the fishing line she's cast, but Don takes the bait as he replies he's sure she was great too. Because this gives her the opportunity to snarl that the difference is, she wants him to get it and if she has to choose between him and work, she'll choose him, but will hate him for it. There's no orange sherbet this time, but this is the second time she's explicitly made this point; he'd do well to listen. On the other hand, their relationship is getting awfully textual even granting that she speaks her mind more than most and I'm still thrown by how she complained about being diminished and since then has picked a fight in literally almost every episode. Don tells her he doesn't want her to fail, but she warns him he'd better mean it: "Good. Because I'm not going to." She cuddles up with him and in this brutal episode I can hardly blame either of them.

Don comes in the morning and Dawn (actual Dawn, not just-out-of-sight-Dawn) informs him Peggy would like to see him. He calls for her and she warily steps out into the hall, but before anything else can happen, Roger and Ken come running out with news that agencies are starting to get rejections from Jaguar. You'll remember that there were only five or so in the running, so two others being eliminated is significant, but of course what really matters is that the phone rings and as the men look paralyzed for a moment, Peggy realizes this is not the time and heads back to her work. Roger barks at Don and Ken to get the partners into his office and then Carol picks up...

...and Roger waits to answer until the missing partners file in -- Lane and Pete, the latter of whom steps aside... for Joan. She and Don exchange a look that neither of them fully understands, but it's lost when Roger gets the news -- they got it. Even Joan manages a positive reaction, as well she might knowing that her investment, so to speak, will be paying off, but Don looks like he might actually vomit and not just because he's figuring out that the pitch they made was probably irrelevant. After telling the Jaguar guy that they'll be over that afternoon, Roger snaps Don out of his nauseated reverie with an embrace, while Joan and Lane share one that's a bit more fraught, but she does look grateful for his advice. If you assume she would have gone through with it for the fifty grand, it certainly looks like he helped her get a better deal, but if the better deal was actually the deciding factor, I'm pushing ahead of Don in the barf line. Reminding us of his ulterior motive, Lane squawks a bit more about the nonexistent bonuses before Pete requests a list of names that will be working on the account and then turns to Joan, Woman Of The Hour, and asks -- after Bertram opens the door so they can hear the celebration that's already begun -- if they should "address the men." Joan, her walk as sultry as ever, steps forward meeting Don's eyes once again and then they all file out... save Lane, who pours himself a drink as he contemplates how much up shit's creek he still is. Also, how horrible is it that this is what it took for a woman to become a partner at an ad agency? Between this and the way Dawn got her job, SCDP is going to have the most unearned reputation for progressiveness on all of Madison Avenue.

Everyone's whooping it up in the conference room, but before Don can trudge his way in there, Peggy appears with congratulations. And of course he's upset about Joan, but the fact that even now he can treat her like something he just scraped off his shoe really drives home the idea that she's doing the right thing here. Peggy thinks their conversation can wait, but Don's not in the mood for celebration prompting her to observe, "You really have no idea when things are good, do you?" I'm not sure I'd agree with that, but now is SO not the time, as Peggy -- already starting to sniffle a bit -- leads the way into his office. He asks her to drink with him, which signals to me that he's looking for some emotional solace, so this is obviously going to be even more of a blow than you'd normally expect. She tells him she has to discuss something serious and he tries to be conciliatory, but given that he babbles about how (a) he can't put a girl on Jaguar and (b) Joan just got made partner, he's not helping his case. Whether because of this news or not, Peggy steels herself with a long sip from her drink before stepping forward and telling Don that the day he saw something in her, her whole life changed and since then, it's been her privilege that he treated her like a protégé. Don leans back in his chair with a wry grin like he knows how to handle this, but the way the color drained from his face during the speech was the telling moment. When she concludes that she needs a new experience and has accepted another offer, he, with AMAZING fake amused condescension -- one second he looks like he's actually smiling and another his mouth looks like a dead clown rictus -- asks if she's done, but when she plows on about her notice and last day, he heaves an ersatz sigh and tries to tell her he knows it's been crazy and she's been feeling unappreciated and what's more, he's impressed: "You finally picked the right moment to ask for a raise." Don, you're missing the point; she doesn't want money and even if she did, she'd probably be afraid you'd pelt her in the face with it.

Peggy, however, seems like she prepared herself for the Draper charm, as she assures him she's serious about moving on and once he believes the nice-guy angle isn't going to work, he clenches and grits his teeth and makes just the most horrible faces anyone who looks like Jon Hamm could make before asking where she's going. The answer of course earns a bitter "Of course" chuckle before he suggests, "Let's pretend I'm not responsible for every good thing that's ever happened to you. Tell me the number or make one up, and I'll beat it." But Peggy, it turns out, anticipated the meaner form of condescension as well and simply replies that he'd do the same thing in her shoes. (Although maybe not with Ted Chaough, I will say.) Don tries one more tack, saying that Peggy doesn't need to wait two weeks, as he's got a room full of freelancers out there, but it too fails as Peggy nods and mistily says she understands. She takes a long moment before stepping forward and sticking out her hand and oh my God, this is amazing; Don takes it and presses his lips to it and the moment goes on waaaaay past any level of comfort, not to mention after the way Joan touched him earlier it creates this unspoken three-way-bond between them and Peggy just almost loses it and after fifteen seconds -- FIFTEEN SECONDS! -- she gently pulls her hand away and tells him not to be a stranger. She leaves and Don's face does other things of which I didn't think it was capable as he wonders how many more people who really know him he can lose...

...and then Peggy grabs her coat, bag, coffee cup and Thermos and starts striding down the hallway. From the conference room, Joan sees her go and it looks like a small smile of understanding hits, which is lovely. I'm glad she can be happy for her. At the elevator, Peggy spares a long look back, but when the car arrives, she smiles big and gets on it as The Kinks' "You Really Got Me" kicks up. I'm bummed for Ken, I wish she'd fist-bumped Stan on her way out and I don't know how this is going to work in terms of the show keeping track of her, but this moment made this gut-punch of an episode a little easier to take. See you time.

John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His current film, "The Trouble With Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, Brie Larson, and Peter Fonda, can be seen on iTunes and other digital platforms and cable VOD everywhere. (Facebook and Twitter here.) You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.

Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.

What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!