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Man, the way this show can surprise you and still make total sense will never get old. You see, Paul Kinsey has become a devotee of Krishna, shaved head and all, and he's trying to convert Harry to his cause. It only takes a hot girl named Lakshmi to get Harry interested, but there's something deeper going on – turns out Paul is in love with her and wants to build a life with her, but not as a Krishna devotee. Even better than the Krishna thing is that he's written a Star Trek spec script and wants Harry to pass it on to NBC for him, and Harry reluctantly agrees to read it. When he finds it's terrible, he goes to Peggy for advice on how to let him down, and I have to say, his concern for Paul's sensitivities, ridiculous though they may be, is one of the best things I've seen from Harry in some time. However, even at his best Harry is still horrible, so when Lakshmi shows up to the office and points her ass in Harry's general direction, Harry doesn't hesitate to get on that, which makes it hilarious when afterward, she cynically tells him she only touched Harry to get him to stay away from Paul. Harry, however, goes with another option – giving Paul five hundred bucks to go to LA without Lakshmi, become a scriptwriter, and never come back, which is simultaneously the nicest and meanest thing anyone could do to anyone, ever.
Lane, it appears, is in far worse financial difficulties than we thought – in fact, he has to come up with the pound sterling equivalent of eight grand to avoid going to prison thanks to his failure to pay taxes to the Crown since he moved to the States. He chooses to add fraud and forgery to his list of crimes in hatching a scheme to get his hands on some SCDP money in the form of a Christmas bonus, but by the end, even though he hasn't been caught yet, it feels like a matter of time, so we can push him up to the top of the list of people who might be jumping off a building by season's end.
Jaguar is back interested in SCDP, thanks to Edwin Baker having spectacularly flamed out of his position, but SCDP is only one of a handful of car-less agencies in town, so they're going to need a kick-ass presentation. Meanwhile, Joan gets served with divorce papers, and after she takes her rage at Greg out on the bimbo receptionist Meredith, Don drags her out of the office to have the one-on-one time we've been waiting for all season. They take out a Jaguar on loan and go for drinks, and Joan confesses that her mother raised her to be admired, which is why the way Greg's treated her makes her feel especially small. Don, however, fondly recalls how he felt intimidated by Joan when he first arrived, and assures her that she'll find someone better. Then when Joan sees an attractive man making eyes at her, Don plays the good wingman and beats a retreat, but between another rocky patch with Megan and the way he makes love to the Jaguar in secret, you wonder if part of him didn't want to get with the only person in the agency with the mystique to match his own. In the end, Don gives the company a huge pep talk about how they're going to win the Jaguar account, leaving everyone feeling warm and fuzzy about SCDP. Can't wait to see how that one is going to go to shit.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Lane, who I think we haven't seen since he scored a bucket list exacta by punching Pete and kissing Joan, answers the phone at night in his bathrobe, in a manner furtive enough to suggest there's a kidnapper on the phone making ransom demands for his nonexistent son. However, it's just a bow-tied Englishman, who's called to give Lane the "good news" that the Hansard procedure negotiations have concluded and if Lane will only wire two thousand nine hundred pounds by that Thursday, the matter they're discussing will be settled and his slate will be clear with Inland Revenue (England's analogue to the IRS). Lane whisper-barks that he can't come up with eight thousand dollars in only two days, but the accountant/facilitator/negotiator/whatever patiently reminds him that he gave "Her Majesty's portion to a foreign power" and IR is keen to make an example of an expatriate, so he should be very glad of this news. This is odd -- most countries have agreements in place whereby if you pay income tax in the country of employment, the country of citizenship credits you for it. Maybe Lane had trouble making that arrangement with the new SCDP, but I wonder if he hasn't actually been paying income tax in the States either; either way, you want to shake your head at SCDP's finance guy being guilty of tax evasion, but you might as well not bother since we're only just getting started here. Lane casts about for pen and paper with which to write down the wiring instructions and by this time Rebecca has arisen and asks what's going on. With no need to modulate anymore, Lane yells at her to go back to bed and apparently having heard that tone before, she withdraws without a word. I'd be disappointed in her compliance if I didn't know the episode eventually hits its quota for righteous female anger and then some.
Harry tries to get "Scarlett" to help fix his TV reception, but Scarlett instead wants to discuss the fact that Paul Kinsey called "again" to try to get together and wonders what the problem is as he's very polite. These new girls, with their having no idea. Harry scoffs that he thinks Paul was on acid at Ken's bachelor party and I can only assume Roger wasn't invited, otherwise he'd have a new best friend. Scarlett adds that Paul kind of threatened to stop by, so Harry sighs that he'll meet him for coffee, whereupon Lane -- who entered during their conversation -- dismisses Scarlett and asks Harry if they can discuss the first-quarter media projections. Harry hands over the relevant paperwork and tries to stop Lane from licking his lips too much over the numbers by saying they're just projections that may never become commitments. Tellingly, Lane starts to leave with the projections in hand, but Harry calls him back for them as it's his only copy...
...but that doesn't stop Lane from going to, I'm assuming, SCDP's bank manager and asking for an extension to SCDP's credit limit to the tune of fifty grand. In between gulps of whiskey, the manager asks how the commitments look for '67 and when Lane explains that the commitments are firm but no one's been paying their bills on time, the guy agrees, just like that. Of all the ways this show has ever seemed period, getting a credit extension by whining a bit about cash flow is way up the list. The manager turns the subject to Christmas plans, but Lane hardly hears even the words that come out of his own mouth at this point...
...and when he leaves the bank (it's Chemical, btw) he takes a moment to stand on the steps and consider what's happened to his life before moving on. Hope that life membership to the Playboy Club was worth it! Honestly, I think this season is about people internalizing the idea that it's not okay to be content, but I'm not sure how Lane fits in; that weirdness with the guy's wallet and the Joan kiss at least coincide with the theme I described, but this storyline with the money feels like an attempt to draw a parallel to people's financial woes today and honestly, it's not really working for me. I'm sure Lane's not too thrilled about it either.
At the festively-decorated SCDP, Pete calls Don and Roger to head to Bertram's office, but they instead have an impromptu meeting in the hallway outside the men's room. Roger's rather slurry for the morning as it's Pearl Harbor Day, but he's in a good mood, which only improves when Pete tells them that Edwin Baker (or "Bazooka Joe," as Roger smartly and hilariously calls him) has been canned from Jaguar and thanks to Pete quietly working some contacts over there while patiently waiting for Edwin to flame out, they're in the running for the account along with four others who also don't have car commitments at the moment. Pete adds that SCDP is the smallest of the contenders, so they're really got to deliver a kick-ass presentation. Don sighs that it will be a lot of work, prompting the first bit of snittery from Pete: "You may have to stay past five-thirty." Don counters that he'd live at the office if he thought this Jaguar thing weren't a pipe dream, but Don -- as you pointed out to Pete a few episodes ago -- IT'S A CAR.
I mean, let's not drag this part out -- Paul Kinsey is now a follower of Krishna, complete with ponytail and shaved head and yellow turtleneck and draped fabric. And what can I say: this makes so much sense on a visceral level it seems unnecessary even to talk about it, but Paul has always been A) In search of an identity and B) Anxious to show everyone else in the world how evolved he is. Harry is predictably horrified, asking what happened before trying to beat a hasty retreat, but Paul gives him the usual spiel about how he used to be terrified of living life and now he's found his calling and whatever recruitment-speech dialogue. When Harry asks if he's even allowed to be in their holy house or whatever, some woman (following a woman's cause is C) for Paul) tells him that everyone is allowed to be there. This woman, by the way, looks so much like Rachel Griffiths around the time of Muriel's Wedding that when I looked up her credits, I was seriously amused to discover that she played a young Sarah Walker on an episode of Brothers & Sisters. Paul introduces the woman as "Mother Lakshmi" and, of course, Harry's attitude changes completely in the presence of nubile boobs and he consents to be led into the chanting area. I swear, Paul Kinsey continues not to be my cup of tea, but the beatific closed-eyes smile on Michael Gladis's face as he chants is making me laugh so hard it's compromising my typing. Lakshmi exhorts Harry to chant as well...
...while back at SCDP, Pete enters the conference room with news that Roger isn't coming as he's on "Battleship Row." Well, that's two episodes in a row they've worked in the titles of shitty current blockbusters. Can't wait to see how they get Men In Black 3 into the one. The other partners are in attendance, but Joan is not and Lane explains that her absence will be better for his announcement at least. He goes on that "a recent pass of the books" has turned up a surplus of fifty grand and, as such, they'll be able to give out Christmas bonuses this year. Of course, the twin ideas that A) Joan would lose track of fifty thousand dollars and B) even if she did, Lane wouldn't hoard it like a crotchety British dragon are collectively ridiculous, but everyone's too jazzed about the idea of getting a check to notice. However, when Lane is like "Great, then!" and literally rises to go divvy up the money, Don suggests they hold off until the Christmas party. Lane tries to protest, but Pete seconds Don's motion and moves on to his Jaguar announcement. Lane, however, tries to get someone to agree with him and when Pete suggests they sit on the money for a bit, Lane pounds the table in frustration at which point Pete spits, "What ghost visited you, Ebenezer?" Don admonishes him, but Lane's behaving so strangely that I'm glad someone noticed. Pete admits, however, that he's mostly annoyed that no one other than Roger -- who's so in the bag he is the bag -- has given him kudos for the Jaguar news and asks Bertram for his reaction. Bertram, in his inimitable quavery voice: "They're lemons. They never start." I remember Jaguar having that absolutely unshakable reputation even when I was a kid; it says a lot for how sleek the designs have been that the company was ever able to survive. Pete stomps out and speaking of lemons, Lane looks like he's sucking on one. He's really not great in a crisis, is he? No wonder combat eluded him.
Roger is wearing some busy red Hawaiian shirt with the names of a bunch of islands and stereotypical illustrations; as bombed as he is, he's definitely looking like a South Pacific version of spring break. He babbles to an appreciative (or at least indulgent) Scarlett about the genius of Pearl Harbor and I didn't think he had any sense of humor about the Japanese, but this could be thanks to the magic of LSD yet again. Joan emerges from her office and rather archly suggests that Roger keep it down and Roger takes an invitation that isn't there and follows Joan in. Joan claims that she couldn't care less about his blatant hitting on other women, but her tone obviously suggests otherwise and her mood doesn't improve when Roger assures her that it's okay -- Jane's not going to take everything. From here, we learn that Joan has refused Roger's offers to take financial care of Kevin through college, as she thinks that it's better this way for him. "And if you're not careful, you won't even be a family friend." Roger starts to tell her he had an experience and Joan's response of "I know, Roger," makes it official that the writing staff likes poking fun at Roger's LSD evangelism as much as I like recapping it. Roger slurs that the point is they made a baby, but Joan brings it back around to how much she doesn't care by pointing in Scarlett's direction with her eyebrows and icily countering, "And now it's some other lucky girl's turn." I don't think this is all about Roger, given what's to come -- I think she's just over men at the moment. But, as usual, he's not helping.
Hilariously, Harry is chanting his little heart out and it may be the smoke-filled room, but if he's sweating so much from this bit of activity I think he might want to join his local Y. When the chant is over Harry says he should go, but after determining that he's hungry, Lakshmi sends Harry to get some food with Paul. Cut to a cab (it's dark now, although it could also be like 4:30 in the afternoon given the time of year), in which Paul keeps on with that hilariously beatific smile as he regards his old friend. Despite his chanting enthusiasm, Harry cautions Paul he's not joining up, but Paul tells him he doesn't want him to before admitting he's hung up on Lakshmi. Harry's all va-va-va-voom about that, but Paul informs him that she used to be a girl named Janet "whose promiscuity led her to drugs and prostitution" and we're all glad she found Krishna so she could get over the latter in particular. Harry asks what Paul's story is then and Paul tells him he was at rock bottom and had really degraded himself. I'm sure he's exaggerating in that Kinsey way, but it's still worth it so Harry can ask "At McCann?" Hee. Paul doesn't clarify what exactly the circumstances were that sent his life into the toilet, but goes on that while he loves what the movement has given him, he doesn't know why he has to live his life that way to praise God. Harry wonders if he's being made to stay, but Paul says the problem is Lakshmi -- he wants to make a life with her only not as a Krishna, but as a former runaway she won't leave unless she knows she won't end up back on the streets. Harry takes this as confirmation of his fear that Paul was only after money, but Paul assures him that's not the case. That's how they get you, Harry! Run!
So there's a little play (America Hurrah, as a shot of a playbill helpfully informs us) going on and amid the stark set design and business formal wardrobe, a guy goes into a monologue that -- given his recounting of vomiting thanks to a TV spot -- is not exceedingly subtle in its condemnation of advertising. Also not particularly subtle is the bored/offended combo written all over Don's face...
...so when he and Megan get home, it's no surprise that Don's rather more monosyllabic than usual. Megan good-naturedly calls him on it and he initially claims he's just tired, but she doesn't believe him and points out she's heard him say worse things about advertising than were expressed in the play. Having been refused a graceful exit, Don opines that people buy things because it makes them feel better. Megan points out that he loves when people make fun of acting and adds that she didn't think what they saw was such a strong stand against advertising, just consumerism. Don: "Well, no one's made a stronger stand against advertising than you." I mean, why split hairs when you can just stomp on the whole scalp?
In a diner (they took a cab here?), Harry's talking about his daughter and family and then tells Paul he doesn't have a job for him at the moment. Paul, however, says that Harry can still help him and produces a script. You'll remember that Paul wrote plays, so that's surely what Harry thinks is happening here when he asks if Paul has been writing again and Paul intones, "I think it's the most meaningful work I've ever done in my life." You guys, Paul Kinsey in Krishna robes said that. If you do the math, what else could it be but a Star Trek spec script? It's called "The Negron Complex" which I'm sure has nothing to do with race and I can't blame Harry Crane at all for asking in all seriousness, "Are you kidding me?" But no, turns out Paul has been watching episodes "through the window of a pizza parlor on MacDougal" and I'm sure the patrons of that establishment really appreciate the audience and he feels that he's made a good effort at "matching the moral complexities tinged with adventure that draw people to it." You guys, I mentioned it was called "The Negron Complex," right? Harry looks at the script like it's dripping with pus before trying to claim he can't cross the line of getting it to NBC, but Paul isn't so Krishna-d out not to have deduced that with the amount of media buying Harry does from them, he's likely to have just a bit of influence there. Busted, Harry asks if the story is about Hare Krishna and gets this response: "Well, not literally. But they don't tell literal stories." This is the sorriest I've ever felt for Harry and I haven't forgotten the time Don caught him walking the office in his tighty-whities. Sensing Harry's enthusiasm for this errand is miniscule at best, Paul gives a sob story about how he doesn't even fit in with the Krishnas and he thinks no one likes him except Lakshmi. "Will you read the script?" Harry probably can't stand to hear himself say yes out loud, but the look on his face suggests that's the reluctant answer...
...and speaking of people doing things they regret before they've even started, let's cross-fade to Lane stealing back into SCDP after hours. After entering his office, he gets out the company checkbook and I won't drag this out: using a canceled check for reference, he forges Don's signature onto a check made out to himself for seventy five hundred dollars (his share of the bonus that hasn't been distributed yet), signs it himself to make the required two partner signatures and then looks at it, wide-eyed at what he's just done. Of course, he's pretty wide-eyed at the best of times, but you can really see it without the glasses.
The day, Harry finds Peggy and asks why she didn't bring Paul in when she hired Ginzo. Peggy tells him he wasn't submitted and wonders if she was supposed to, adding that he "rolled downhill" through several agencies. "Last I heard he was in house at A&P." Harry wonders what agency that is, but Peggy clarifies she means the supermarket. Hee. Harry asks her if she'll give him a second opinion on Paul's Star Trek script and I wondered for a moment if the show was crossing us up by it being good, but no -- it's horrible and if you need evidence, the race in opposition to the Negrons is called, amazingly, the "Caucasons." Peggy, hilariously, laughs that now she's not going to get anything done, but Harry's in no joking mood as Paul really thinks the script is going to change his life. Peggy's a little touched that Harry wants to help Paul that much, but counsels him that he needs to be honest and tell him he needs to write something better. Harry protests that what he produced was really hard for him, but Peggy isn't impressed: "Then he shouldn't be doing it." Well, honestly. Writing is a business of rejection; you don't need to go in with the handicap of being terrible. This not being what Harry wanted to hear, he stomps off. And he didn't even leave the script!
Don's lying on the couch when Dawn buzzes that Pete is there for him; Don wearily gives his eyes a little half-roll before sitting up, smoothing his hair, and asking Dawn to send him in. Pete wants Don to go check out some Jaguars and suggests he take Megan to "see how they deal with a couple." Don's like, yeeeeah, I'll do that and Pete understandably misinterprets Don's lack of enthusiasm at bringing Megan for misgivings about the whole idea and opines that if Pete had got them in the running for a car a year earlier, Don would have kissed him on the mouth. Don: "Maybe you and I should go as a couple." That's the sort of line that would normally produce slashfic, but as long as I've been on the internet, I'm still naïve enough to hope that no one actually ships Don and Pete. (Don and Roger? Absolutely.)
Lane has just told the accountant/whatever that the money is coming and when the guy brings up his fee, Lane's like, hey, look at the time, kthanksbye! He hangs up, and I guess he's out of the woods for a short moment, but seriously: Is he planning to kill Joan? Because I can't imagine any other way she won't figure out what he's done and on top of that, I'm pretty sure she can take him.
Speaking of Joan and potentially bloody situations, Scarlett pops into her open office to inform her she has "a guest" in Reception who needs a signature. Cut to Joan walking past Meredith, the blonde bimbo, to a dude in a hat and overcoat who immediately after affirming her identity serves her with what we can assume are divorce papers. Just to get it out of the way so we can all enjoy what's to come, I think Joan is upset with the presentation of it rather than the fact -- obviously it was her intention that they get divorced, but the fact that he didn't notify her personally and that she's having to deal with this at work etc., brings all her frustrations toward not just Greg but men in general to the surface, which leads to the amazing scene right here. Joan rounds on Meredith and gets right into it and when she asks what the guy claimed to have discussed with her, Meredith replies, "I don't remember everything everybody says!" I have to hand it to her -- not everyone is capable of being condescending while detailing her own incompetence. Less impressed is Joan, who goes around in the bend in fifth gear by screeching that Meredith is an "idiot" and going on that having her out there is the same as having no one. Meredith, unfazed, replies that the guy said he knew Joan and had a surprise for her and Joan's response will long be remembered: "A surprise? Well, thank you for that!" HERE'S a surprise!" With that, she picks up the model of the Mohawk airplane, smashes it down on Meredith's desk and yells, "SURPRISE! THERE'S AN AIRPLANE HERE TO SEE YOU!" If I'm ever in a screaming match with someone and there's a model of an airplane handy, I hope I have the presence of mind to summon that line. Although I have to wonder if Joan will feel guilty later when they get the bad news about Mohawk. Anyway, Don has been witness to the last bit of this and he steps forward and puts an arm around Joan's waist and gets her out to the elevators. She tries to tell him she's fine, but it's only a few seconds before her face gives way to despair so he tells her to come with her. She points out she doesn't even have her coat, so he gallantly removes his and wraps it around her, and she reluctantly allows herself to be led into the car...
...whereupon we cross-fade to a rather nicer set of cars, as we're in a Jaguar showroom and from the appreciative look in Joan's eye I think we have a clue as to what Greg's alimony checks are going to go toward. Don coaches Joan to look at her watch and after she obliges, a salesman appears and asks what he can do for them. Don: "We got tired of waiting for a cab. Thought we'd buy a car." I have the feeling he didn't hear lines that suave on the used-car lot. He asks about one model and the salesman tells him it's nice and sporty but still can accommodate kids going on to inquire if they have any. Don pauses and deferentially looks at Joan, but she's up for the performance and brightly says that "altogether," they have four. The salesman tells them the car is for the American road as it has "too much power for England" and having witnessed firsthand how people drive across the pond, I'm going to have to disagree. Don pointedly adds that he hears England's "dampness is murder on the electrical system" but the salesman evenly tells him they've worked that problem out. Joan then draws a breath as she catches sight of a bright red two-door the salesman describes as "the most beautiful car ever made, the XK-E" and given how the thing is obviously the automobile equivalent of Joan herself you'd think they could give it a more feminine name. The guy is up for taking them out for test drives, but one at a time as there's not enough room for three. Joan playfully but pointedly asks why she and Don would want the guy along, but that's kind of the guy's point as that beautiful interior leather really doesn't do so well with stains. Don, however, has places to be and upon finding out the asking price is $5,600, he forks over a check for six grand. "If we don't come back, consider it paid for." Nice, but for that price aren't you going to ask for floor mats?
Cut to a hotel bar, where Don confesses that the car actually does nothing for him. Joan: "It's because you're happy. You don't need it." Aw. Interesting that Don is the only man she can talk to completely honestly; it's like their shared mystique has created a consciousness of kind between them that precludes the need for ceremony or beating around the bush. Joan goes on that she's tried so hard to keep her personal problems away from work and then "Dr. Captain Harris served me with papers in the office. He's divorcing me, like he has the moral high ground." She goes on to chuckle bitterly that she's sorry about "that girl," but when people summoned her to Reception it used to be to deliver her flowers. Don remembers that, adding that during his first week at SC "I thought you were dating Aly Khan" and Joan admits that her mother raised her to be admired. She adds that she never got flowers from Don to which Don baldly confesses, "You scared the shit out of me." Hee. He goes on that Burt Peterson told him she was the one person in the agency he shouldn't cross and that Burt and Freddy Rumsen had a standing argument whether Joan was a lesbian. Joan: "You think they never brought that up with me?" Ha, but honestly, I am amazed that Roger managed to keep his affair with Joan a secret all that time. It's true she would have had his guts for garters if he'd blabbed, but still: It's Roger. Don congratulates her on the end of her marriage, musing that nobody realizes how bad it had to get for it to come to that and now she'll be able to move on. Joan isn't particularly sanguine about her prospects of finding someone with a baby in tow, which suggests to me that her mirrors at home need polishing and Don agrees, saying she'll find someone better. Joan turns to face him as she notes that he did just that didn't he and he agrees, but thinks perhaps "the office" misses Megan. Joan: "Maybe I should have kept her at Reception." Hee. Don wonders if maybe it wasn't the best idea for Joan to have thrown the divorce papers out the window and I don't know why we didn't get to see that, but Joan's over the subject and asks Don for some change for the jukebox. I'm not much for anachronistic musical choices, but I wouldn't he displeased if she put on "Little Red Corvette."
Harry gets a call and it's Meredith, who informs him there's "a Lakshmi" there to see him. "She's got a whole story." Okay Meredith, you're on the long road back. Harry stammers for her to bring Lakshmi back and then tells Scarlett via the intercom to hold his calls. He gets to his feet and when Meredith brings Lakshmi in, spouts some bullshit about interviewing nannies and whatever. Then when Meredith leaves and Harry locks the door, he tells Lakshmi that this may be some kind of shakedown, but he's still not joining. Lakshmi, however, has something else in mind as she claims that when Harry was chanting, she felt this intensity especially down there and before you know it, she's kissing him. Harry pushes her off and asks if she's not with Paul, but she replies that she and Paul do what they want despite loving each other and goes on that she burns for Harry. "Does your wife burn for you?" Given that in five seconds he's fumbling at his pants while she's bent herself over his desk, I'm going to say that's a "no."
Later, the bar has filled up (as have Joan and Don) the former of whom laughs at all the people dancing to "my music." Don, who's a dapper drunk with his hat on and the brim pushed forward, asks Joan to dance, but given that he has that goofy look on his face we've only seen before when he's with Megan, she's probably wise to opine they shouldn't. Don recalls that a woman once told him she liked being bad, then going home and being good and between her and Mädchen Amick this season, it's nice to know that Bobbie Barrett wasn't blowing smoke when she talked about the existence of the Don Draper Midtown Ladies' Club. Joan opines that Don loved every minute of that disaster and admits she misses the days of being a little bad herself. Don tells her that if that's the case "there's a gentleman over at seven-thirty" giving her the look and I hope for the sake of Joan's confidence that Don's not misinterpreting the guy's eyeline. Don Draper being your wingman does come with drawbacks. Joan wonders who might be waiting at home for the guy: "I bet she's not ugly. The only sin she's committed is being familiar." Recognizing there's barely a "sub" in front of the text of this line of discussion, Don asks if Joan thinks it's all him and she replies, "Because she can't give him what she wants?" Don counters that he doesn't know what he wants, but Joan demurs: "He knows. It's just the way he is. And maybe it's just the way she is." Don takes a moment to digest this and then gulps down the rest of his drink before saying he's going to go. Joan opines that she can still drive, but Don tells her he's fine and she can stay. Catching on quickly as usual, Joan points out the guy making eyes at her has seen her sitting with Don this whole time, but Don tells her it'll just look like he struck out. Joan: "Who's gonna believe that?" Freddy Rumsen? Burt Peterson? He gives her carfare in case it doesn't work out and counsels her to stand over by the jukebox. "That looked pretty good before." Aw. She thanks him and when he's gone, she gives a vulnerable look in the direction of the other dude...
...and then Don is shifting that Jaguar's gears like there's no tomorrow. Whether in reality or -- given what I said earlier about the car's equivalent -- metaphorically it looks like the thing is doing something for Don after all.
Okay, this is a heavyweight contender for the dumbest scene this show has ever put forth, so let's get through it as quickly as possible: Lakshmi, after mildly giving Harry shit for smoking, informs him that she only participated in the carnal atrocity they just shared so Harry wouldn't "shake Paul's devotion." You see, Lakshmi doesn't appreciate Harry giving Paul false hope for "his awful teleplay," nor his effort to make Paul into "a gross materialist" when he's living in the spiritual world. Also, he's their best recruiter -- "he really can close." Well, ha ha and all, but do you care about his spiritual health or his value to the movement? Can't be both; you're barely-developed enough as a character to handle one. No fault of the actress, but this character is written all over the place. Lakshmi goes on that she's "trading the only thing [she] has," to which Harry points out that she already gave it away, earning him a hard slap. I don't begrudge her that, but it doesn't mean he's wrong and seriously, the whole thing plays like a little fantasy of Harry's rather than something any rational person would actually do...
...but speaking of people who are not appearing particularly sane right now, Megan is sitting at the dinner table and the psychotic look on her face is not going to be helped by Don drunkenly tossing his coat onto a lamp in the sunken living room. (And I just realized he left Joan without a coat on this winter night! Hopefully the other guy will step up on that front.) Don fixes the error, but as soon as he's in her line of sight, Megan seethes that he's drunk and she knows he left the office at lunch, so where the hell was he? Don: "You want to get the rolling pin?" Like so many of the most hilarious lines, this one is particularly ill-advised as Megan wings the plate of food in front of her across the room with such force that I'm wondering if she ever represented Quebec in Ultimate Frisbee. Don tells her where he was, but she yells that he could have called if he didn't want her to think the worst and she "put a plate in the oven and sat here like an idiot, waiting for someone who doesn't give a shit about anybody!" Don thinks this means Megan's going to strip down to bra and panties and start cleaning, but Megan informs him in no uncertain terms that he's going to sit down with her and eat and Don kind of can't believe this is happening but sits down as Megan stomps to the kitchen and come back to serve him a plate full of pasta and anger. Don starts to point to the dinner currently attracting bugs in the corner, but Megan snaps that she'll clean it up later. I guess fighting not only diminishes the two of them, but also their supply of flatware. Seriously, though, I know characters have nuances and contradictions, but is a different writer responsible for Megan every week? I find her extremely interesting, but I'd appreciate maybe twenty percent less whiplash in following her character. Megan, addressing an unspoken implication of Don having spent almost the entirety of a weekday in a bar, points out that he used to love his work. He tries to throw that back at her by opining it's different there now, but she won't be deterred saying he loved it before he ever met her. He doesn't reply, but the look on his face suggests that she has a point that still probably could have been made without the loss of good spaghetti. (Which might not be Megan's favorite meal anymore after tonight!)
Lane's finishing with his tie as Rebecca, still in her dressing gown talks about her father's health issues and how at the very least, she and Nigel should go back for a Christmas visit. Lane decides to use recent events to his financial advantage in sitting her down and telling her about Edwin's departure and how Jaguar "came crawling back" (the fraction of truth is getting smaller as this conversation progresses) and that he'd really like not to spend another Christmas alone. Rebecca is touched and proud and tells him Christmas in New York will do just fine and I hope Lane's completely done getting dressed as I doubt he's going to be able to look in a mirror for a while.
Roger enters Joan's office with a bouquet of roses and a warning that they're not from him. Joan evenly thanks him for delivering them, but Roger says he had to: "The girl in Reception's too scared to bring them back." Hee. Noting that he's not rushing out the door, Joan asks what's up and Roger sighs, "How many times have I left you alone with a card from another man?" Nice counter to the scene earlier, especially in light of Don and Joan's "hypothetical" conversation and it's another example of Roger having actual, real-person feelings this season that we've never much seen before. Of course, we're meant to think that the guy from last night's patience was rewarded and that may or may not be true, but the flowers are actually from Don, as you can see from the card: "Your mother did a good job -- Aly Khan." Aww, but as much as this must have made the Internet explode, I don't want anything to happen between them. Certainly not yet and not just because it would make Roger the saddest little boy in the world. It's just... the two of them have this bro-like relationship that's really enjoyable and maybe in the modern day they could get involved romantically without compromising that, but not in the '60s I don't think. I'm hoping this was just the cap on his efforts to bolster her confidence and from the smile on her face it looks like that mission's been accomplished.
Harry meets Paul in another diner and Harry proceeds to spin a ridiculous story about how the reader at Mike Weinblatt's company thought it was one of the best scripts he'd ever read and while the company can't get involved for legal reasons, he thinks Paul has a bright future -- and so does Harry, which is why he's giving Paul five hundred bucks and a ticket to LA to leave the Krishnas, go out West and become a writer. Paul starts to wonder about Lakshmi, but Harry firmly tells him he'll only make this gift if Paul promises literally to go straight to the airport (bus station?) and go. Paul doesn't know what to make of all this, but Harry tells him it's amazing out in LA: "This failure, this life? It'll all seem like it happened to someone else." I'd make a comment about how he'll have too many fresh failures to worry about the old ones, but despite these two being far from my favorite characters and Harry having banged Paul's girlfriend, it's a touching moment and the first instance of humanity I've seen from Harry in some time. They get up and Paul kind of heartbreakingly clutches the envelope Harry gave him before pulling his old friend into a mournful embrace: "All these people said they'd do something for me. You're the first one who did." Harry nods emotionally, tells him to break a leg and goes, leaving Paul standing there. And it's confounding, given everything that's happened -- including his outfit -- that he could manage to look sadly dignified.
Back at the office, with Lane and Roger in attendance, Bertram tells Pete that everyone is assembling for "the announcement," but Pete has some sobering news -- Mohawk's machinists are going on strike and despite the fact that they're going to continue to fly, they're suspending their advertising. Pete then gives the silver lining that Mohawk isn't leaving the agency, but the bottom has already fallen out of Lane's stomach even before Bertram sighs that this means they can't do bonuses. Lane tries to protest that three consecutive years of no bonuses will be a morale-killer, but Bertram's solution doesn't help him much: just the partners will defer, until January. I mean, obviously this seals Lane's fate -- his bonus being negotiated in a different calendar year than that of the other partners is something even the laziest accountant couldn't miss. Pete then asks, "Don, are you up to joining us?" Funny you should ask!
The partners enter the conference room, which is abuzz with chatter from all the other SCDP employees. At Roger's behest, Lane make the announcement about Mohawk, saying their suspension will put significant financial strain on the company, but after practically choking on the words, he tells them the partners have elected to defer their own participation so the staff can receive bonuses "for a job well done!" Nice save, Pryce. I didn't think the way Lane put all that was so inaccessible, but everyone just stares uncomprehendingly until Roger translates, "You're all getting Christmas bonuses and we aren't." Hee. Pete then steps forward with the news about pitching Jaguar and you can see Creative's eyes collectively light up; still, Pete seems to be expecting everyone to carry him off on their shoulders, so when that doesn't happen, he's left to awkwardly ask if anyone has anything else. Don pipes up that he'd like to say something and I'm not sure what Pete's expecting but his response of "Would you" is positively trepidatious. Maybe he's thinking Don's going to give the Christmas gift of resignation? Don, however, has been moved by Megan's words to care about work again and as such gives a rousing speech about how they should all prepare to take a great leap forward; there are six weekends before the pitch and they're all going to work them nonstop, as well as Christmas and New Year's. "And in the end, we will represent Jaguar and it will be worth it!" He goes on that every agency on Madison Avenue has been defined by the moment it got its car, and that's how it's going to be with them -- Jaguar will let the world know that SCDP has arrived. Glad of any excuse to get the hell out of Cos Cob, Pete leads the applause and then Don calls Creative into his office. I'd love to see Bertram's facial reaction to the news that he's going to be working what could well be his last holiday season, but instead, we leave after focusing on a shifty and helpless Lane as "Christmas Waltz" kicks up. See you time.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His current film, "The Trouble With Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, Brie Larson, and Peter Fonda, can be seen on iTunes and other digital platforms and cable VOD everywhere. (Facebook and Twitter here.) You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.
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John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His current film, "The Trouble With Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, Brie Larson, and Peter Fonda, can be seen on iTunes and other digital platforms and cable VOD everywhere. (Facebook and Twitter here.) You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!