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Peggy's preparing for a big Heinz presentation, which is putting stress on her relationship with Abe. Don and Megan bail frivolously (well, it's really his decision), increasing Peggy's anxiety, and when Raymond, the Heinz guy, hems and haws about Peggy's pitch, she gets in his face about how he doesn't know what he wants, leading to her getting fired from the account. Needing an escape, she goes to the movies and gets stoned with a random dude, eventually yanking him right there, and considering it's a wildlife movie, they're watching, you can only imagine what might have happened if the content had been a little racy. Ginzo's dad shows up to the office, and Peggy, upon her return, sees him; later, Ginzo uses a narrative conceit to tell Peggy that he was born in a Nazi camp, and the father she met found him in a Swedish orphanage when he was five. Peggy, much like the audience, is all "Whoa" about that revelation.
From here, the timeline of the episode goes non-linear. In flashback, Roger tries to get Don to take a business trip with him to the flagship Howard Johnson's in Plattsburgh, but Don decides to take Megan instead. Turns out Roger was trying to get out of a dinner party thrown by Jane's therapist (BESS ARMSTRONG, Patty Chase from My So-Called Life), and they all take LSD together. I wouldn't have guessed Roger would be the first regular on the show to drop acid, and I admit I can't imagine what I was thinking. Roger's individual trip doesn't have too much to do with tripping – Jane's is far more believable -- but it's still hilarious and John Slattery sells the crap out of it, and their later conversation is honest and allows them to break up with a minimum of animosity; even though Jane makes an attempt at disavowing the sentiment the morning after, the relationship is dunzo.
Seeing the earlier scene from a different angle, Megan's reluctant to leave before the Heinz presentation, and even though Don of course gets his way, Megan stays preoccupied with wondering how it went, and eventually expresses resentment toward Don for not allowing her to value her work. This leads to an ugly fight over orange sherbet which culminates in him leaving her at a Howard Johnson's, and given that he fell in love with her over a milkshake at a similar type of dining establishment, this seems like a pretty plausible and symmetrical end to this marriage. However, despite Megan pushing buttons of Don's he never knew he had, he returns, only to find Megan has disappeared without a word; this leads to a phone call to Peggy (which we saw earlier), which leaves him sweaty and frantic. Eventually, he returns to New York to find Megan already back at the apartment; he kicks in the door and chases her around the place, and it's as sad and unsexy as it is passionate; even though they give each other a fond smile at work later, you're not in the game if you haven't made a guess as to how many episodes are left for this marriage.
And the dissolution of same might be for the best, as when Don comes in, Bertram informs him he's been on "love leave," and as such hasn't been doing nearly enough at work. Roger then sticks his head in and opines that it's going to be a beautiful day, and surely this is going to drive Bertram's point home. Because surely even lovesick Don knows who's the one to trust between Roger and Bertram, wouldn't you think?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Peggy -- in her slip with her hair in clips -- is rummaging in drawers as she asks Abe, with some impatience, if he ate her "Violet Candy," which she says she needs; since she says Don gave it to her before a presentation, I'm guessing she sees it as a good-luck charm, otherwise I'm going to have to have a little chat with her about nutritional habits. Abe is not overly concerned with such matters and suggests seeing The Naked Prey that evening, which is, as he describes it, "that stupid movie about the guy being hunted in Africa." I guess one good thing about the show taking place several decades ago is that when it pokes fun at something, there's a good chance that anyone directly involved with it who might take offense is dead. Abe adds that Cornel Wilde, the lead, apparently wrestles a boa constrictor while naked, which sounds "pretty dirty." Well Abe, it's going to be far from the dirtiest thing we associate with this movie before the episode's over. Peggy is too preoccupied with the Heinz presentation to discuss social plans, which gets Abe into a snit and causes his Brooklyn accent to become even more pronounced than usual; Peggy amps up the hostility by asking if he doesn't want to see her anymore, to which he complains -- probably with more justification now -- that she's always looking to "push the button on this whole thing." Things do not improve from here as you can imagine, given that Abe's parting shot is "I'm your boyfriend, not a focus group! Have a shitty day." It's common wisdom that you shouldn't fight while under the influence of alcohol, but I think you should also take care to avoid altercations when the participants haven't yet had coffee. Also: Done!
Peggy enters the copywriters' room, in which Ginzo is wrapping up a call that, while less acrimonious, definitely bears some similarities to the one Peggy just had, prompting Peggy to offer once Ginzo's off that she just had the same conversation. Ginzo: "No, I think they were different, because yours was private." And while you can't blame Peggy for entering their shared space, I think the point is that he's trying to discourage her from such conversational topics. Of course, Ginzo trying to tone anyone else down is hilarious in a whole other way, but before Peggy can point that out, Stan bursts in complaining that he's late because "there's no place to pee in this city." Another way Starbucks has enriched our lives. Megan then enters saying how she saw the funniest thing outside their building -- a bunch of students were asking how to get to Broadway. Stan's like, "..." in response, but Megan explains that it's just like "the campaign" and they could have cast it right there. So there's no artwork in whatever campaign is using this idea, I guess. Glad I could bring my Holmes-ian powers of deduction to the situation. Don appears and asks Megan for a word, because God forbid he allow her to work for two minutes and when she disappears, Stan's like, "She goes to Casting now?" Well, she was almost an actress and also, Peggy defends her on this point, saying Megan's been her junior on this presentation. Stan then tells some story about a large-breasted date of his named Salome that, I trust, you will forgive me for skipping over and then Peggy finds the candy she accused Abe of eating and sighs in relief that she couldn't take one more omen of doom.
Of course, if she's that superstitious, she should know that you don't set yourself up by saying such things out loud and she pays the price for her moment of weakness in the form of a ba-dum-bum reply in which Don returns with Megan and says they're going to have to miss the presentation in favor of heading upstate "for Howard Johnson's." Peggy can't believe it, but Don somewhat defensively points out that she's running the show. "How does me sitting there change anything?" Given how the last Peggy-helmed Heinz pitch went, this is an absurdly irresponsible decision to the point where even Megan looks wildly uncomfortable, so it's lucky we've got Ginzo around, who placidly offers that he loves Howard Johnson's. "The colors. The atmosphere. The clams." Hee. Don, rather stupid in his excitement, says that Megan's never been to one and the obvious capriciousness of the trip is so embarrassing that Megan apologizes. Peggy, admirably enough given that she almost dumped her boyfriend over this presentation, says that she supposes it's okay, since she's got all of Megan's work and Don promises to check in from the road, not particularly convincingly. After he leaves and Megan reluctantly follows suit, Ginzo drops the pro-HoJo act and intones, "Well, that's a disaster." Heh. Stan, however, plays cheerleader, telling Peggy that Don's frivolity is a vote of confidence and I do continue to love how reliably Stan has Peggy's back. She asks him for a smoke and a close-up of him giving her a light...
...fades into the presentation artwork, which depicts some kids around a beach bonfire, one of them holding a pot containing, presumably, Heinz baked beans. Peggy pitches the idea that the beans brought the kids together and made them safe and heads to the slogan, "Home is where the Heinz is." Personally, I liked the bean ballet better, but this does seem more in line with what Raymond wanted. Regardless, a brief back-and-forth leads to this outburst from the client: "Stop writing down what I ask for and try to figure out what I want!" Peggy's eyes narrow and even though Ken tries to intervene, when Raymond asks if Don signed off on this, Peggy acidly informs him that he loves it, and "maybe Don doesn't understand what you wanted either." Sensing this could get out of hand, Ken tries to jump in once again, but it's only moments before Peggy is stepping forward and telling Raymond that she thinks he does like the idea. "I think you just like fighting." Committed now, she leans in and tells Raymond that he has to run with this concept, because it's young and it's beautiful, "and no one else is gonna figure out how to say that about beans!" Despite Peggy's earlier agita about the presentation, I think she's pursuing a gambit here rather than completely losing her head and if this were a show that gave into cliché more often, Raymond would see the error of his ways and applaud Peggy for her gumption. Instead, however, he turns to Ken and asks if he can believe her (Ken has a very Larry Tate "That depends" moment in response) and then turns back to Peggy, red in the face and informs her that she's lucky he has a daughter or he wouldn't be so understanding. And wrapped up in that comment is the obvious truth that he would be hearing her differently were she a man, a theme the show allows its characters to struggle against but never to defeat.
Ken steps in more effectively by offering that Creative is frustrated, and Raymond sighs that he's frustrated as well before conceding that the idea is close. Ken suggests he and Raymond have dinner that night and maybe see a show, which I guess means he's not on deadline for another sci-fi short story and he and Raymond exit. It's probably just me, but I like to think that Raymond's impossibility is, somewhere, bringing a smile to the face of my beloved Dr. Faye. Peggy stares balefully through the glass at the group of men while Stan sighs that he admires her for that "completely suicidal move," adding, "Women usually want to please." And while that statement's maddening as well, at least he's appreciating her apparent renegade nature to some degree. Peggy asks him for "sketches of the talking beans" and I hope we don't have to see that presentation. There's only so much I can take. Pete then busts in and tells Peggy she's off the account and when she asks what Raymond said, Pete merely tells her those were his exact words. It's a good thing he refrains from adding his two cents, because in the mood she's in, Peggy would be the second person in as many episodes to make hamburger out of Pete's face in this room.
Looking like she's shed a tear or two, Peggy slugs a shot that looks like it would be considered a double even by this show's standards...
...and then enters Reception, in which Bertram, shoes off and reading the paper, remarks that everyone has somewhere to go. Peggy flatly tells him she's going to the movies...
...and then she's chomping popcorn and watching the offering, which, while seemingly set in Africa, does not look like The Naked Prey to me. Then, apparently catching a whiff of some cannabis from a guy in the row behind her, she turns and tells him he's going to get in trouble, which results in him offering her a toke. She accepts, although without any line as funny as "I'm Peggy Olson, and I want to smoke some marijuana." The guy takes the opportunity to join her and they pass the j back and forth, probably not registering the fact that the scene they're watching talks about going "back to the drawing board." Just as well, given what Peggy's been through.
Sometime later, Peggy is good and high and, as such, is providing commentary loud enough to get shushed from their unappreciative fellow moviegoers. Her new neighbor then takes the opportunity to put his hand on her leg, but she grabs it in favor of playing the game on her own terms. And these terms entail her undoing the guy's pants and giving him a handie right there and this behavior would be dubious enough to begin with, but I just heard the woman on-screen say the name "Elsa," which immediately sets me straight as to the film -- it's the family-friendly Born Free. Of course, in an episode rife with the missing of absent mothers, this choice is strongly thematic, but all I can think of is: Peggy! Not in front of the lion cub!
After a quick shot of Peggy daintily rinsing her hands (took a bit longer than we see, I'd wager), she turns back up at the office to find Ginzo exchanging some heated words with his father in the hallway; Ginzo didn't want him turning up at the office, as the phone call earlier indicated, but the dad says he just wants to use the photocopier; referencing a folder in his hands; he goes on that he's "building [his] case," which I'd imagine we'll be hearing more about. Ginzo then catches sight of Peggy and is like, "Again?" Once more, unjustified on the merits and once more, hee. Ginzo Sr. is all, "Hel-LO" when he sees Peggy and after she introduces herself, a bit more skeeviness from the dad is enough for Ginzo hilariously to declare that "it's bedtime" and escort his dad into the photocopy room. Peggy looks amused by the whole thing, although frankly not as amused as I'd think someone who's presumably still half-stoned would be.
Cut to Peggy having what she probably intends to be a quick lie-down on Don's couch, but between the pressures of the day and the pot, as we stay on her, day turns to night and just like that Dawn is waking her up with the news that it's 8:30 and Don's on the phone. Peggy, of course, has no reason to suspect Don's calling for any other reason than Heinz, so she resignedly tells Dawn she can go (I guess she has no choice, since Peggy's on her bed) before picking up the extension by the couch. Don, in a pay phone booth, urgently asks if she got any calls and she doesn't know to what he might be referring, but still has to reply, "I don't think so." Heh. For his part, Don looks way too agitated to wonder why she's not sure and tells her he has to go, hanging up without even hearing her attempts to tell him that Heinz didn't go well. Peggy doesn't know what this all means...
...but understandably decides that her best course of action is to do some work and we cut to her typing away what's presumably some new copy for the talking beans, with Ginzo burning the evening oil as well, which is good because it leads to the best scene in the episode. She asks why Ginzo never told her about his father (remember, he explicitly said he had no family) and Ginzo replies that Ginzo Sr. isn't his real father. Peggy asks if that means he's adopted, but Ginzo tells her he's from Mars and at Peggy's answering laugh, says it's fine if she doesn't believe him, but he's a full-blooded Martian. Peggy's amusement fades as Ginzo continues telling the story, saying that Martians as a race aren't hostile, just displaced and their existence is a big secret, one that was even kept from him. "That man -- my father -- told me a story. I was born in a concentration camp, but you know that's impossible." The scene is filmed with almost a complete lack of presentation, and, as such, we get to experience that same "WHOA" moment as Peggy, who plays a good audience surrogate in gaping as Ginzo goes on to reveal that his mother supposedly died there, with the result that "Morris there" found him in a Swedish orphanage at the age of five. "And then I got this one communication, a simple order: Stay where you are." This Martian narrative seems too considered to be something he just made up on the spot, yet it also doesn't sound like something he shares freely and this is some pretty intense character development for someone who's still wearing a Don Rickles jacket. Playing along, Peggy asks if there are others like Ginzo and he admits he doesn't know. "I haven't been able to find any." With obviously no idea how to respond to that, Peggy sits silently and maybe she's still wiped out from the day, but it's all I could do not to cry myself. The two of them then get back to work...
...but soon, Abe's phone is ringing and it's Peggy calling with the news that she's home and requests that he join her. He asks if that means she needs him and she simply replies, "I always need you." Aw. I don't want to be alone either, after that story. Abe asks what happened and Peggy relays the story Ginzo told her, which Abe, with his reporter's knowledge, confirms did sometimes happen. Peggy tells him again to come over and he disconnects to do just that. After she hangs up, Peggy sits in the dark looking through her window at, presumably, Mars, as shivers run up and down my skin.
Speaking of people who often seem extraterrestrial, Roger marches up to Dawn and informs her that he's going to sit in Don's office with the door closed and she should inform him of his arrival. "One buzz for Don, two buzzes for Mr. and Mrs." You're kind of backing up my leadoff to this paragraph, Roger. He's not in the office five seconds, though, before a single buzz comes from the trusty Dawn and in a moment, Don's opening the door and asking who died. Roger suggests they play hooky, to which Don hilariously replies, "Should I close the door?" Hee. Apparently an old client of theirs (actually double-sided aluminum and Don wastes no time in referencing Roger's attendant heart attack) has moved over to Howard Johnson's to help them with their new models, so Roger's proposing a "completely debauched and unnecessary fact-finding boondoggle" to the flagship hotel in Plattsburgh, which is just an hour south of Lake Placid. But while Don isn't particularly interested in playing wingman to desperate and horny Roger, he does note that Plattsburgh is also quite close to Montreal. Roger, seeing where that train of thought is chugging off to, begs Don to get him out of having dinner with Jane's snooty friends who sit around talking about "Frank Lloyd Rice." Don raises an eyebrow and Roger explains, "I always say it that way. They hate it." HA! There are some internet comment fields I'd love to let Roger loose on, for serious. Don, however, declares his intention to take Megan and needles that it's fine if Roger wants to bring Jane. "Megan gets along with everyone." Roger at least takes the defeat with good humor and as they step out, Don instructs Dawn to get him out of all commitments he may have through the weekend. When he's gone, Roger sighs to Dawn, "It was a dumb idea." We then see, from a different angle from before, Don pull Megan out of the copywriter's room, which lets you know the episode's timeline has ceased to be linear...
...but instead of continuing there, we cut to an elevator in what looks like a fancy building, in which a grim-looking Roger and a perpetually sullen Jane are riding. A quick bit of snittery leads to Roger reluctantly apologizing for his mood, explaining that he doesn't know "these people," while Jane counters that the evening is important to her. But none of this is actually important...
...when you consider the fact that Jane's therapist (she hasn't been identified as such, but we'll find it out later), who's hosting the evening is... BESS ARMSTRONG! Patty Chase from My So-Called Life, everyone's favorite one-season show! Patty was my favorite character and the one I consider the most quotable and one of my favorites that I know will make my great friend Mark Blankenship happiest is, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. A kiss must result in intercourse!" While, given the stuffy dinner-party conversation about the nature of truth, it's probably too much to hope for any dialogue that can hold a candle to that quote, any disappointment is more than made up for by the fact that Ms. Armstrong looks absolutely amazing; like, the woman is almost sixty and she looks like she could almost still credibly play a teenage girl's mother. Or at least her very young grandmother. Anyway, Bess is telling everyone it's a myth that tracing logic all the way down to the truth is a cure for neurosis or anything else and on that note, they all head to the living area to take LSD, which seems like a reasonable transition given that its effects are pretty much the opposite of logic. Actually, Jane and Roger linger, as he wasn't listening when she briefed him on this part of the plan, but she convinces him the experience will be good for them and frankly I'm surprised she needed to bother with even as much persuasion as she did.
After one square couple makes a hasty exit, Bess the Acid Merchant hands out slips of paper and tells Roger to copy what his neighbors are writing. Then she informs everyone that she's now taken the stuff four times, "and every experience was more beautiful than the last." Her male friend? Husband? adds that he's going to stay sober so he can guide them and it's a good idea in theory, but you have to make sure to get someone trustworthy who's not going to succumb to screwing with the trippers, which really is not easy, I'd imagine. Jane admits to being nervous, so the guy gives her some advice she'd do well to take about a positive state of mind being essential to having a good time and Bess assures them they're in a nice, safe environment before passing out the stuff (thoughtfully coated on sugar cubes) and instructing them all to let it melt in their mouths. As they pop their doses, Roger tells Jane, "You always say I never take you anywhere," and I'll be interested to see if he's this witty when he's tripping balls. Jane puts Roger's arm around her, they settle onto the couch and then he regards the paper he wrote, which reads, "My name is Roger Sterling. I have taken LSD. I live at 31 E. 66th St., NY NY. PLEASE HELP ME." HA! I mean, that's an invitation to robbery or worse, but there's something hilariously touching about it too. Still, note or no note, I do hope the straight guy isn't going to let them out of the house.
Sometime not too long after, I'd bet, Bess is looking like she's feeling the effects already, but the others are kind of sitting around wondering when it's going to kick in, which is when you know it's about to kick in. As if to demonstrate, Roger complains that he's bored, but when he gets up and takes the top off a bottle of vodka, he suddenly hears it singing opera to him, which stops when he replaces it. And look, anyone who's ever tripped knows that there can be many and varied effects, but on this one I have to call bullshit; regardless, it's hilarious, not least for John Slattery's amused reaction. Jane and one of the other women start staring intently at surfaces, so things are happening for them too and then when Roger inhales his cigarette, the whole thing burns down in a second with a little accompanying HONK from the soundtrack. Bullshit again, but still funny and overall, the way they're writing an acid trip is very astute, not to mention the brilliant stroke of using it to drive the Roger/Jane relationship forward. Roger then gets absorbed in a photo in an edition of Life depicting a man whose hair is black on one side and grey on the other; heading to a mirror, he discovers that his own hair has taken on the same split personality. He then sees Don in the mirror telling him that everything's okay and he should go to his wife, "because she wants to be alone in the truth with you." Even tripping, Roger, it should be apparent from the language that that's not really Don. Roger watches himself in various scenes at the party, which I take to be the show's way of depicting that feeling of being outside yourself that psychedelic drugs can bring and then, as they dance, Jane sheds a few tears and says it's perfect there. While seeming to agree, Roger still suggests they go home...
...and then they're in a cab and I don't think the driver's going to be too impressed if they attempt to pay their fare with that pleading note. Given that the bill he's taken out for that purpose seems to have Bertram's face on it though, he may be tempted to try.
Later, Roger and Jane are in the bathtub when he starts laughing at a baseball game he's seeing and hearing -- from the Black Sox World Series in 1919. Jane asks if he was there, but even though the answer's no, he claims he can see it now and laughs at all the Model As and Ts. Jane leans against him...
...and later, they lie on the floor in bathrobes and towels in a classic denouement stage of the trip where everything becomes more philosophical. Jane confesses that Bess (okay, the character's name is "Catherine") might know her better than Roger does and Roger matches her flat, exhausted tone when he asks if he wants to know. She says probably not and he asks, "Because it's over?" I didn't think it would take acid to break up this marriage, but now that it's happened I'm hard pressed to think of a more effective way. Jane admits that Catherine is just waiting for her to say it and when Roger asks what Catherine thinks of him, Jane replies, "She thinks I'm waiting for you to say it." Sounds about right. Roger confesses to being relieved and Jane admits that all she thinks about is having an affair. Roger's surprised to hear that Jane never cheated on him, but all that ever happened was a kiss and she stopped it. She turns to face him as she adds that she won't even ask about him, which makes sense just for the sake of saving time if nothing else, but says that her feelings for him were always real -- she just knows that he didn't fall in love. He wonders what was wrong, the implication being that they didn't have to be in love to be happy, but Jane points out that he doesn't like her and he can't deny it, only saying that he once did. "I really did." She settles back into his arms and since this may be the end of her character, I want to say I don't think I've given Peyton List the props she deserves, as this has been a tricky role to handle. We cut to an overhead shot of the two of them lying there, feeling as far away from each other and everyone else as a certain Martian sometimes does...
...and then it's morning, and Roger is getting dressed with a fairly mournful look on his face. Jane, in their bed, stirs and asks if it's morning and where he's going. She sounds sleepily playful, but when Roger kindly tells her he's going to check into a hotel for a while so as not to displace her, she sits up in confusion -- she apparently doesn't remember their little breakup talk. He fails to recognize that at first, as he happily tells her they didn't need screaming and acrimony and lawyers -- they were able to be there together, in the truth, just like she wanted. She asks if he's leaving her, but he sticks to the trip-speak and says they're leaving each other, just like she wanted, and the things she said were so beautiful -- she even spoke German. Jane denies knowledge of that tongue, but when Roger explains she was quoting her father, she realizes it must have been Yiddish and isn't that another interesting little tidbit about Jane on her way out the door? Jane tries to deny that she meant any of it, but when Roger calls her on telling her therapist about how she knew it was over, she's got nowhere to run. Distraught, she covers her eyes and then informs him their parting is going to be very expensive, but Roger, an old hand at that game by now, merely smiles that he knows. He tries to kiss her on the forehead, but she rebuffs him, so after a long moment he leaves her in tears...
...and then we cross-fade to him and Don emerging from the latter's office again, so apparently the Lost Weekend Roger was proposing didn't come out of so cavalier a place as you'd expect. This time, we stay with Don as he pulls Megan out of the copywriter's room and he tells her about HoJo and the idea of making a long weekend of it, reminding her about their good hotel times in California. Megan, of course, remembers them fondly as well, but still would rather go the day; however, Don informs her he's the boss, and is ordering her along. There's a hint of jest in his tone, but you'll still want to bookmark that moment.
In the car, Don extols the virtues of orange sherbet and Megan decides to take a nap. All quite riveting, I know, but let's cut ahead to Don lighting a cigarette, the smoke from which apparently wakes Megan. She asks him to open the window and then wonders how Heinz went. Don kind of dismissively asks why she cares, so Megan tells him she feels like she abandoned them, to which he replies that she shouldn't feel bad. "There has to be some advantage to being my wife." Perhaps then sensing that he's coming close, he says he'll check in with Peggy later, which is already less than he said he'd do but probably more than he actually intended. After Don excitedly tells Megan about the indoor pool, the HoJo rep, "Dale," appears and no less animatedly welcomes them. He offers to show them to their room, but Megan says she'd like to eat first, so he offers to bring them one of everything, and inquires if she likes clams. Heh. Megan affably says she likes everything, so I suppose what's to come is the exception that proves the rule. They take a seat in a semicircular booth...
...and then we cut to Don returning to the table and presenting Megan with an orange back-scratcher. Heh. After some talk about gifts for the kids, the waitress comes by and asks if they'd like dessert; Megan requests pie, but Don belays that order in favor of asking for three scoops of orange sherbet with two spoons. Don then takes the opportunity to make some notes about the surroundings on the back of his placemat and that's it for Megan: "You like to work, but I can't like to work." Don at least doesn't pretend not to know what she's on about, but when he tells her she should have spoken up if it was that important, she points out she could hardly have contradicted him at work and it's embarrassing (she doesn't specify what is, but I'm assuming she's referring to being controlled so obviously). The sherbet shows up, and ordinarily I might find it endearingly goofy how excited Don is for Megan to taste it, but he's being so dippy and tone-deaf that he's just annoying me and, as such, I find it patently hilarious when Megan claims to dislike it, saying it tastes like perfume to her and he visibly deflates. The waitress, unfazed, goes to get her a requested scoop of chocolate, but Don sardonically wonders if Megan is just trying to embarrass him. In response, Megan dons a sunny ersatz smile and starts shoveling in huge mouthfuls of the sherbet with fake moans of delight; it's not quite a When Harry Met Sally scene, but it's enough to make me giggle and to make Don, not without abject horror, ask what's wrong with her. Megan drops the act and suggests he make her a little schedule so she'll know when she's working and when she's his wife. Don then suggests she call her mother and "hurl a string of complaints at her in French like you always do," leading Megan to snap back, "Why don't you call your mother?" It's not that kind of show, but this would be a great place for a recorded "OOOOOOOOH" on the soundtrack. Don, flabbergasted, gets up and Megan, seeming to know she went too far with that one, follows...
...but in the parking lot, instead of apologizing, she tells him not to walk away. I can understand her not wanting to give up the slightest bit of ground, but the part about his mother was uncalled for. Her ensuing point that he cares more about "what some truck-stop waitress thinks" than what she, Megan, says has some validity, but without her taking the mother part back, he's no longer hearing her; she rants about how she has to do everything he says, yelling "Yes, Master!" Even Jeannie never got this mad at the Major. In response, Don drives off without a word, leaving an absolutely fuming Megan on the side of the road and at this point I bet they're both wishing they'd gone with Roger.
After driving some unspecified number of miles, Don gets his head on straight and decides to go back for his wife. Unfortunately, upon returning, he discovers from the waitress that Megan left with "some fellows" she was talking to and was last seen headed toward the parking lot. Outside, Don finds a pair of sunglasses that looks suspiciously like Megan's and the first stirrings of genuine fear play across his face. He checks out the ladies' room inside (actually, it's marked "Women," so good on you, fictional depiction of HoJo), apparently finding nothing and then that Dale appears with Don's room key and stories of a kid having had "an accident" in the pool that necessitated its closure. There probably aren't too many things that could make Don forget about that, Dale, so you're just lucky his wife might be dead. Outside, Don looks around in impotent panic, and given how sweaty he is that pool news really is poorly timed.
It's now night and Don sits at the counter checking his watch, which reads 8:10. He gets some dimes for the pay phone from the waitress, who conspiratorially whispers that couples fight in there all the time. "There's no reason to think the worst." And even if you do, at least Megan got to taste orange sherbet before she shuffled off this mortal coil.
Cut to Don calling Peggy, which again makes more sense having seen the full story, since Don knows Megan really was concerned about Heinz and thus might have called Peggy to check in. After downing yet another cup of coffee, he makes a call he really doesn't want to make -- to Megan's mother, asking if she's heard from her daughter that day. The answer is no, so Don has to cover with a story about how he was thinking to get Megan some jewelry and couldn't remember if she was allergic to silver or gold. And you could commend him for his quick thinking, but after today I wouldn't be surprised if the idea of buying Megan jewelry is one for which he didn't have to dig too deep. Mrs. Calvet lilts about what a good husband he is and how it's only gold alloy Megan's allergic to, but Don once again, has checked out of the conversation and gets off as quickly as he can without being, if you'll forgive me, gauche.
Later, Don has fallen asleep in one of the booths and gets woken up by someone from the local sheriff's department, who informs him it's almost two in the morning. And honestly, Don, I know you're worried, but if you're not actually going to look for Megan, you could just head to your room. Megan probably has a better chance of reaching you there, to be honest. Don tells the guy his wife disappeared almost seven hours earlier and the deputy is unfazed, merely saying that he'll "keep an eye out" on his patrol. Don doesn't bother supplying him with a description, even though "Really pissed-off girl from Quebec with enormous teeth" is fairly quick to say. After another cigarette and a couple more fruitless phone calls...
...we cut to Don in the car; however, it's a flashback to when he, Megan and the kids had just returned from Tomorrowland. A sleepy Sally awakens and wonders where they're going and when she's informed that their destination is the Rye Town Francis Spookhouse, she understandably expresses an aversion to going. She wonders when they can return to Disneyland, but Don merely tells her to go back to sleep before starting to whistle "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." Wait until she's really asleep, Don, or Sally will think you're taking her to see the Beatles again. Megan, amused, notes that he keeps telling Sally to stop singing that song and Don, with equal levity, admits that now it's stuck in his head...
...as it is in the present. Unfortunately, instead of a family, all he has for an audience is a commercial for ice milk, which even comes in orange flavor and I don't say this often, show, but that perhaps is A BIT MUCH.
Don trudges to his apartment door and attempts to open it, but finds the chain on, which simultaneously brings him relief and anger. He calls Megan's name and tells her to open up and when she informs him she doesn't want to see him, he threatens to kick in the door if she doesn't open up. And really dear, I know you're very upset, but the man's going to make good on that, so you might as well save yourself the inconvenience. Megan, however, does not listen to me and Don is true to his word and is inside the place with one swift kick. He tries to tell her he said he was sorry (mmm, I don't think that actually happened, Don, unless answering machines were around in 1966), but she doesn't want to hear it and I should note that she's even more upset than she is angry. He says he stopped every twenty miles to phone (overkill, guy), but she calls him a pig and tells him she had to ride six and a half hours on a bus and then had to find her way home from Port Authority, from which she couldn't get a cab at five in the morning. "Try getting anything but an offer!" Well, I'd imagine Don would get quite a few of those. Soon, Don is chasing Megan around the place and as I said in the recaplet, it is just as far from sexy as can be and when he grabs her and they both fall down the steps to the ground in the stupid sunken living room, she starts crying in earnest, probably at how pathetic a scene this is as much as anything else. Hysterically yet honestly, she asks how he could do that to her and he admits he doesn't know, but tries to chalk it up to it being a fight, nothing more. But she won't accept that: "Every time we fight, it just diminishes us a little bit." To say nothing of the door. Seriously, that line is pretty terrible, but let's address the sentiment: I don't know that I'd entirely agree, but it's certainly true if, like Don, you learn nothing from it. Megan staggers to her feet and says she has to go to work (I guess they took off on a Thursday?), but Don, still on his knees, grabs her around the waist and holds her tight, silently begging her forgiveness before breathing that he thought he'd lost her. Eventually, she caresses his hair and when he looks up questioningly, though obviously still distraught, she nods. He buries his head in her again in relief...
...and then we cut to them entering the office. She starts to head into the copywriter's room, but he touches her arm and they share what looks like a genuinely affectionate smile before breaking apart. Don heads over to a surprised Dawn, who hands him an ad for Playtex, complete with artwork that has a line through the entirety of it and the words "DO OVER" on the top. Don asks what that's all about, and is even more surprised to hear that the message came from Bertram, who's sitting in the conference room...
...in which Don joins him and asks what the message is all about. Bertram intones that a client left unhappy the day before "because you have a little girl running everything," and I don't love that characterization of Peggy, but the substance of this conversation is long overdue. Don tries to defend himself, saying his department would be fine if Lane would let them hire some more people, but Bertram counters that Don has been on "love leave. It's amazing things are going as well as they are with as little as you are doing." Don, never one to take criticism well, tries to bluster that that's none of Bertram's business, but Bertram stands and simply replies, "This is my business." Double meaning with an extreme economy of words? Bertram for the win! He leaves and presently Peggy walks by, keeping her head down after she spots Don. The rest of Creative then walks by the other way and Don looks like he knows Bertram's right and he's not happy about it. And to punctuate it all, Roger sticks his head in and announces that it's going to be a beautiful day and Don looks even more worried, because if there's anyone you can count on not to give an accurate read of the local temperature, it's Roger Sterling. See you week.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His current film, "The Trouble With Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, Lucy Liu, Brie Larson, and Peter Fonda, can be seen this coming week in theaters in Salt Lake City/Ogden, as well as on iTunes and other digital platforms and cable VOD everywhere. (Facebook and Twitter here.) You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.
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