Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mystery Date
By Couch Baron | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 04.08.2012
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Don -- who's severely under the weather -- and Megan run into Andrea, a freelance writer from the old firm, and it takes approximately .17 seconds for Megan to ascertain a onetime sexual relationship there. Megan is not happy to be the Diane Chambers to Don's Sam Malone, and tells him so in no uncertain terms. Later, with Don home sick, Andrea turns up at his apartment, and the panic with which he kicks her out shows he either really loves or is really scared of Megan, possibly both. However, when Andrea later sneaks back in and begs Don to have his way with her, he relents. I thought this might be a dream sequence, and when he ends up later strangling her, it becomes clear that it is a fever-induced hallucination, but that doesn't actually make it any less disturbing, especially given that...
...Joyce turns up with crime-scene photos from Chicago's student-nurse sex massacre, and everyone's apparent stomach for them causes "Ginso" to label them "sickos." One non-sicko who's still all over this news story is Sally; Betty and Henry are on the road for his work, so Sally is stuck at home with Pauline. Sally gets into reading about the murders and seems very frightened, although after Pauline I'm surprised she has the capacity to fear anything else. As if to back me up, Pauline ends up telling Sally about the crimes in a chillingly casual way before giving Sally half a sleeping pill so she won't be up all night. Betty, you've met your parenting match.
Greg is coming home, and Gail tries to prepare Joan for the fact that he may be different. When Greg arrives, he's thrilled to meet "his" son, and then Gail keeps considerately clearing out of the house so her daughter can get some, as mothers are wont to do. Any libido Joan may have, however, is killed by Greg's news -- he has to go back in ten days for another year, which was not part of the plan. Joan adapts to the change in plan admirably until she hears from Greg's mother over dinner that Greg actually volunteered to return, and as if that didn't make the dinner painfully uncomfortable enough, the news is followed by a member of the staff playing accordion music, which as we all remember brings back wonderful memories for this couple. In semi-private, Joan lays into Greg, who doesn't want to hear it. Gail, once again, has been through all of this and tries to get Joan to be strong. And she succeeds, but in a better way than she ever intended: Joan tells Greg to return to Vietnam and never come back to her, making it clear that she still remembers the rape in the process. If you wondered whether it was unseemly to cheer the end of this marriage, I can only tell you that you weren't alone.
Hey, guess what? Roger screws up! I know, you're shocked, but he forgets to get Ginso on a campaign for Mohawk to take advantage of some favorable developments with the mechanics' strike, so he does the only thing he knows how to do, which is to apply some cash to the problem. In this case, he pays Peggy to work up a campaign, although she takes his insult offer of ten bucks and ends up gouging him for the four hundred he has in his pocket, which is amazing and may teach him, as I've been suggesting, NOT TO CARRY SO MUCH CASH. Working late, Peggy discovers Dawn still around, and when she learns she's afraid to travel back to Harlem with everyone in such a rioting mood, she insists that Dawn stay over with her. As they bond, Peggy drunkenly confesses that she's not sure she really has what it takes really to succeed as a copywriter. A moment of hesitation in leaving her purse alone with Dawn, however, completely ruins the ebony and ivory-ness of the evening, and in the morning Peggy only finds a nice note instead of a new friend and looks as regretful as she does hung over.
Oh, in the end, Gail and Joan lie on the bed together, Kevin between them. It's not the family Joan imagined, but it's the one that's not leaving.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Pete arrives at Roger’s door with the news that LBJ is reluctant to intervene in the mechanics’ strike for political reasons, and since (this will be mentioned later) Mohawk has a side deal with their people that forces them to work even as the strike is going on, the company is in a position to provide service on many dormant routes until it’s resolved. He goes on that Mohawk would like SCDP to walk them through the campaign around such new service first thing Monday, and Roger does a credible job in telling him that they’re ready to go. When Pete takes off for the weekend, however, Roger sits up in a panic…
…and outside, as Pete heads for the elevator, Roger peers around the corner to watch him go, and the only thing missing is that twangy violin head-popping-into-view sound effect from Looney Tunes. Which is too bad, because of all people on this show, such a thing would be most fitting for Roger’s maturity level. With Pete safely gone, Roger heads into the copywriters’ room, but is chagrined to discover that Ginzo isn’t there. I guess he went home for the weekend (or is still in the bar), but it’s a little surprising, given how green he is, that he wouldn’t have come back to the office, although it’s not like he’d be any more sober, as Stan and (especially) Peggy seem wasted. Stan pays Roger all the respect he’s earned before heading out, leaving Roger to ask Peggy what she’s doing that night. Peggy mock-seductively asks Roger what he has in mind, prompting him disapprovingly to ask if she’s drunk, and Roger Sterling has said and done some hypocritical things, but him acting stern about drinking in the office threatens to rupture the very fabric of space and time. Roger tells her he needs her to work up something for Mohawk, but Peggy replies that for that account, “your quote man is Ginsberg.” Heh. Already fresh out of ideas, Roger reaches into his Pocket O’Bribery, hands Peggy a bill, and tells her he needs her to work it up and on Monday explain to Ginzo and Pete that Roger asked her to — only sometime last week, which I take to be before Ginzo was hired. It’s not a story that should hold up to any kind of strict scrutiny, but Peggy takes the money; however, Roger then clarifies that there’s no brief because he never told Ginzo about it at all, but since American Airlines is taking everything big and giving their northeast corridor to Mohawk, they need this campaign to capitalize. Peggy, drunk enough to be slurrily amused with herself, comes up with a couple strike-themed slogans, prompting Roger to reply, “Hey, Trotsky, you’re in advertising.” Hee. Peggy asks what, then, the angle is, and Roger babbles some half-baked nonsense before heading for the door, but Peggy’s like, wait just a minute — ten bucks for an entire corporate-image campaign is not nearly going to cut it, and when Roger points out he could make her do it for nothing, she replies, “You’re right. The work is ten dollars; the lie is extra.” You guys, I don’t know a lot of things, but I’m pretty sure Joe R, consummate Peggy-lover, is enjoying this moment immensely. Roger asks what she makes a week, and Peggy is once more drunkenly pleased with herself as she notes that him not knowing is helpful, even looking around at a nonexistent crowd with an “Am I right?” look on her face. I love this scene so much. Beaten, Roger hands over all the money in his pocket, which is FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS, like does he have a side gig as Monty Hall’s understudy? Roger heads out before Peggy can take his watch (seriously, she threatens that, it’s awesome), and then Megan enters and asks if she’s staying. Peggy says yes, as something “came up,” and asks Megan to tell “Patricia” she can go home. When she’s gone, Peggy gleefully counts the money, and rarely do I watch a scene more times than I need to in order to recap it, but this one’s an exception.
Don’s face down on the bed (and his dress shirt and tie have come off since the last scene, which given how out of it he was, is a suspicious little detail) when the doorbell rings. He manages to get to the door and is horrified to discover it’s Andrea, whom he pulls into the apartment and tells in no uncertain terms that she can’t be there. She tries to say they didn’t get to talk, but he informs her they’ve done all the talking they’re ever going to do. Good thing she’s not actually interested in that, then. He goes on that she can either go over the balcony or take the stairs, which gives me flashbacks to I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, and she’s unfazed by his words but still consents to leave. Rethinking the plan, however, he has her take the service elevator, and ushers her to the kitchen. She tries one last time, saying what they had was just sex and didn’t mean anything, implying of course that it wouldn’t mean anything now either, but Don’s like, if I don’t lie down within five seconds I will literally die, and if you’re with me when Megan gets home so will you. She leaves, which is just as well, because her chic little yellow dress and complimenting orange beaded necklace were clashing horribly with that God-awful wallpaper in the kitchen. Don heads back to bed, and you can tell how massively freaked out that little incident made him by the fact that it takes him five whole seconds to lose consciousness again.
As promised, Sally’s watching a TV spot for the board game Mystery Date, which is another dreadfully unfortunate-on-purpose reference to the massacre, not that Pauline notices, as she’s jabbering on the phone to someone about the poor girl under the bed. Sally, displaying less guile than I expect from her, stares at Pauline with interest, and when Pauline notices, she stops the discussion mid-sentence and tells the probably-bemused person on the other end of the line that she “can’t make any plans until they waltz through that door.” When she’s off, Pauline tells Sally that she needs to take out the trash, or she can go to bed and watch the sun set from her bedroom window. “It’s the saddest thing in the world.” I’m thinking the woman knows of what she speaks. Sally inquires if, once she takes out the garbage, Pauline will tell her about the murder, prompting Pauline to reply loftily, “I will not bargain with you.” Sally disbelievingly asks how old Pauline is — nice one — but Pauline doesn’t take the bait, merely saying “we girls” keep that a secret.
Probably recalling her sessions with Dr. Edna, Sally busts out some Junior Psych and asks if Pauline’s mother was strict, and Pauline is all too happy to tell her that her father was, and she’s a better person because of it. Sally tries to tell Pauline that she may not agree, but she’s a good person, but Pauline neither agrees nor disagrees, instead opining that someone needs to discipline Sally so she’ll start acting like an adult. She recalls a wonderful childhood memory in which she walked by the couch on which her father was sleeping, and out of nowhere, he kicked her so hard that she actually flew across the room and hit a piece of furniture; after that, he told her, “That’s for nothing, so look out.” Sally becomes the presumptive favorite for the 1966 Understatement of the Year when she offers, “That’s not very nice,” and Pauline muses that that’s true. “But it was valuable advice.” This is like the time early in the first season of Veronica Mars when you found out Logan’s father whipped him with a belt. It may not make me love Pauline, but it’s hard to hate her quite as much.