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Have you noticed how the penultimate episode of the season is usually depressing as hell? If not, consider yourself sufficiently prepared. Don runs into Midge (Midge!), and after they trade catch-up stories, she invites him to dinner to meet her husband of convenience, "Harry," whom she calls a "playwright" but is actually kind of a pimp, as Don quickly deduces that Midge only tracked him down to try to sell him some of her art, and that Harry would gladly see Midge throw in some sex to seal the deal. Also, Harry and Midge are both heroin addicts, and Don pityingly buys a painting from her for all the cash he's got on him. Fun subplot number one.
Sally is making a real effort to get along with Betty, even though in private, she tells Dr. Edna that Betty doesn't care what the truth is as long as Sally does what she says, and Dr. Edna expresses her pride that Sally is managing to behave despite all the anger she feels, and adds that Sally hasn't done anything wrong. Dr. Edna tells Betty that Sally is doing well enough that she feels comfortable reducing her sessions to once a week, and then, after Betty bitches about Henry for a bit, once again tries to get her to start therapy of her own, with the same negative results. Things go downhill when Betty catches Sally with Glen, whom she's been seeing platonically but regularly, and when she tells Henry she's ready for the family to move out of the neighborhood as a power play against Sally, Sally breaks down. Fun subplot number two.
Don surreptitiously meets with a Heinz guy, but he's let down in a big way when the guy won't commit now because he's afraid SCDP won't be around in six months. Despite all the brouhaha about professional ethics last week, the SCDP higher-ups meet with Faye's boss (from the Christmas party episode), who strongly urges them to find a cigarette company to replace Lucky Strike – specifically, Phillip Morris, who's rolling out a new brand for young women and with whom he can arrange a meeting. Everyone's all smiles in public, but later we get a montage of everyone panicking, with Pryce even saying that they've only got a month before they won't be able to afford everyone's full payroll. Things go from bad to worse when Faye's boss shows up with the news that the meeting has been canceled, and adds insult to injury by unwittingly parroting the "maybe in six months" line the Heinz guy gave to Don.
In the wake of this disappointment, the partners confer, and Pryce tells them he got a bank to offer six months worth of credit if each of the partners would kick in a small fortune -- four hundred grand total -- and also with the condition that SCDP drastically downsize. When Pete tells Trudy about the financial obligation necessary to retain his partnership, she flips her lid and expressly forbids him to give anything more to the company. Don desperately searches for inspiration in Midge's painting, which is granted to him, and he ends up writing a scathing ad, run in the Times, about how the loss of Lucky Strike represents a welcome new era for SCDP – they will no longer accept tobacco business on moral grounds. The ad gets all kinds of attention and seems to rally the morale of some of the rank and file, but the partners are incredibly pissed off that Don apparently ruined their business, with Bertram even quitting in a fit of pique. (Not sure where that leaves them with respect to the hundred grand he was supposed to contribute.) Don calls Peggy in and lets her know who's going to be fired (Danny is predictably the only one we know or care about), and she in turn playfully expresses her appreciation for what he did. An unanticipated and unfortunate effect of the letter, though, is that Faye will no longer be working with SCDP, as her boss is unwilling to turn away future cigarette business, but Faye chooses to see the glass as half full and focuses on the fact that she and Don can pursue their personal relationship without complication. Before she leaves, though, Peggy, clearly bummed at losing a career woman role model, tells her how great she is at her job and that she'd like to keep in touch.
In the end, the partners minus Bertram have a fractious but somewhat hopeful meeting in which Roger reveals that the American Cancer Society is interested in working with them, but this potential good news does nothing to stop the scheduled firings. Pete then goes to Pryce with hat in hand, saying he doesn't have the required money, but he's shocked to hear that Don paid his share. And I thought Pete might have demanded this from Don given what he's done for him, but the show gets extra points for doing it this way.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!John Slattery directed this episode, and I have to tell you I find it a big improvement directorially from his last effort. Really pretty seamless here and not overtelling the story. Speaking of which:
We open with Don telling a Heinz guy that no one at his company knows about this meeting. And look, they're not going to, because while the Heinz guy is looking to revitalize sales of Heinz beans (he does not work in ketchup, which is the big moneymaker these days) while avoiding such jingles as "Beans, beans, the musical fruit," he is thoroughly unconvinced that SCDP will still exist in six months, and as such is unwilling to move his business there at the moment. Don practically begs, even offering a discounted commission, but that only makes the Heinz guy, not unsympathetically, respond, "I bet I could get a date with your mother right now." Given Don's late mother's line of work, there are many possible replies to that, but none of them is going to land the account at the moment, so let's move on...
...to Betty calling Sally and Bobby for dinner. When she arrives, Sally asks if she can make Gene desist from banging a spoon against a metal pot, but Betty tells her that will only result in him screaming, and given that unpleasant choice I have to admit I'd stick with what we've got at the moment. Sally then asks her why they never eat with Henry, and Betty tells her first off, he works until late, and secondly, he and the kids don't eat the same food. Sally offers to try new food, prompting Betty to focus on her and ask if she'd like to eat with the two adults. Sally says yes, and Betty, pleased, offers to think about it, which I suppose means "run it by Henry whenever the heck he gets home." Still, it's a nice moment between mother and daughter, don't you think? Seems like it would take the interference of some horrible hill creature to ruin it!
Faye's boss, "Geoff Atherton," is telling the SCDP execs that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that their first and last order of the day is getting new clients, no matter how small, not only because their billings have been cut in half but also because soon, they'll be perceived as stagnant, "or worse, decaying." Roger lets him know that they're aware of the dire situation, thanks, so Jeff makes a recommendation -- since they're such experts in servicing cigarette companies, they should attempt to find a replacement for Lucky Strike. "You are a certain kind of girl, and tobacco is your ideal boyfriend." Apparently willing to torture the metaphor, Don asks if he can get them a date, and Jeff, apparently not as sensitive to potential breaches of professional ethics as his co-worker, tells them that Phillip Morris is introducing a new brand for young women, and they're interested in having a new agency on board for it from the word go. It's only close to five million in billings, but it's a start, and Geoff can get them a meeting, which apparently no one else has. Everyone expresses their eagerness to pursue this...
...but later, in his office, Roger tells Bertram that they should be pursuing bigger business. Bertram, however, thinks the enormous cost of doing so is unlikely to be worth it, given the extreme unlikelihood of luring any big fish into their net. Elsewhere, Pryce tells Pete that their payroll will be beyond their means as of the billing cycle, and they're going to have to start downsizing. Meanwhile, Harry's worried that he won't be left with any media budget, and Ken wonders how he's even going to be able to pay for his wedding. Pete, however, has faith that Don can make rain with Phillip Morris...
...so let's go to the man in question sitting with Faye, who lets us know that Marlboro used to be Phillip Morris's women's cigarette before dropping her voice and telling Don that the Heinz guy was very impressed with him. Don at least sincerely thanks her for that despite it going nowhere immediate, and then expresses even more gratitude for the current lead. Faye, who's clearly made her peace with all this, tells him that Geoff's excited, and then encourages him to study the materials before shaking his hand for show and telling him that she has dinner plans, but he should call her that night, "even if it's just to work." And if a little phone sex happens, so much the better. I mean, I'm sure the operator would appreciate her night being spiced up.
Ah, here's who I was referring to before, as there's a hill denizen in a football uniform...oh, fine, it's Glen. He and Sally are out by some abandoned shack somewhere trading shrink stories, and he tells her "psychiatrists are easy to fool," which makes me wonder just how much of a sociopath this kid is going to turn out to be. Sally, however, tells him Dr. Edna is smart, but Glen asks her if she told her to kiss her mom's ass, and when Sally laughs a no, he gloats, "So who's smarter, me or her?" Hmm, I guess the implication is that he's the one responsible for the dinner idea, or at least the sentiment behind it. And here I thought his suggestions would involve ground glass in Betty's salad or something equally nefarious. Glen offers Sally a cigarette, which she declines, and then asks if she talks to Betty about him. Sally: "I did...I don't anymore." Heh. Glen opines that Betty doesn't like kids, but Sally demurs, and when Glen points out that she's always saying how mean Betty is, Sally's reasoned response is this: "So what?" It is interesting that she defends Betty here, though; I think it suggests that she's realizing via therapy that her relationship with her mother is rather complex and as such shouldn't be reduced to a simple "I hate her." Of course, she may change her mind about that by the end of the episode. After a few moments of looking at the sky, Sally tells Glen she has to go, and he tells her, "See you later, alligator." Sally leaves without responding "After a while, crocodile," which is the clearest sign I've ever seen that she was raised by wolves.
Don is on his way out of the office building when an old familiar voice calls to him -- Midge! He takes a moment to place her, as it has been five years, but looks happy enough to see her. She's got a portfolio under one arm and explains that she just had a meeting with "a magazine related to Time-Life," and upon hearing about his new firm, says it sounds impressive and asks if he needs any freelance artists. Rather than go on about how exquisitely bad her timing is, he merely says not right now, but she's welcome to use him as a reference. He then confesses that he's thought about running into her in the Village, and when she playfully asks what he would be doing in that neighborhood, the response is not what she expected: "I live there." She quickly adjusts to his single status, though, asking in that case what his rush to go home is and suggesting he come over to her place. After thinking about it a moment, he tells her he has a big meeting the day, but when she tells him she's married and he could meet her husband, his interest is piqued. She goes on to say that it's a marriage of convenience, and if he comes over they can eat and she can cheer him up, and by the way, she lost her purse, so he could at least give her a ride downtown. Having always liked her, he smiles and gives in, and I tell you what, seeing the scene again now that I know what's going on with Midge makes me appreciate Rosemarie DeWitt's work here all the more.
Sally and Dr. Edna are playing Go Fish as the former tells the latter about some authoritarian thing Betty did, ending in this: "She doesn't care what the truth is, as long as I do what she says." Well, seeing Betty's behavior for what it is is the key to managing it, I guess. Dr. Edna basically agrees, saying she's proud of Sally for finding a way to behave herself even when she (the word "justifiably" is implied) gets angry with Betty, and Sally shrugs and replies that Betty just doesn't know that she's mad. Dr. Edna stresses that it's important that Sally acknowledge the anger to herself, and goes on to remind Sally that Betty behaves the way she does because "she has stresses, not because you're bad or you did anything wrong." After they play a bit more, Dr. Edna tells Sally she thinks that now that she's back in school, they should cut down their sessions to once a week so Sally will have more time to do normal-kid things, and I thought Sally would resist, given how comfortable she clearly feels here, but she accepts the idea willingly. Dr. Edna then pointedly reiterates that she's proud of Sally, and Sally accepts the compliment with a wordless smile. How important it is for a kid to have someone she feels like is on her side, and Sally has two such people in her neighborhood that she sees regularly! And it's not like there's any way both of those people could be taken away in one fell swoop, is there?
Don and Midge arrive at the latter's place, and Midge calls to "Perry" that they're there (I called him "Harry" in the recaplet -- I really need to turn on the closed-captioning on my first viewing). Perry, who looks about forty, pours them all some whiskey as Don offers that Midge told him Perry's a playwright. After they have a slug, Midge says she's going to freshen up, and speaking of which, she pours the rest of her drink into Don's glass, and she's certainly going out of her way to prove this "marriage of convenience" thing, because any guy with even a passing interest in her wouldn't be overly thrilled with that move. When she's gone, Perry takes Don into the bedroom (not like that!) and shows him a piece of Midge's artwork, which is all over the room, and claims that it's called "Number Four" and that Midge is doing a series of afterimages, or what she sees when she closes her eyes. Given what we learn Midge is into these days, I'd expect what she sees to be considerably less pedestrian, but whatever, it's not like I'm particularly listening when Perry talks anyway. The point is, Perry clearly wants Don to buy a painting, and when Don balks at the idea, Perry tells him that Midge definitely digs him, and if he bought a painting she'd pretty much do anything. So, your play is going to be called How I Whored My Wife - It Was Remarkably Easy! Don raises an eyebrow, prompting Perry to explain that "we're not possessive," although I wonder how many times his sexual prowess has been the key to closing an artwork deal here.
He adds that Midge was so excited "when she tracked you down," bringing a whole other creepy element to this scenario, and then Midge reappears and smiles that she knew she shouldn't have left the two of them alone. Honey, you ain't kidding. Perry offers to go get some groceries and "whip up a great meal," except for the part where he has no money and Midge lost her purse, so Don, over Midge's objections, produces a ten-spot, which Perry regards like it's a...well, a bag of heroin. Sometimes the metaphor just isn't necessary. When he's gone, Don takes a moment and then hilariously opines, "He's very interesting," to which Midge just as hilariously bites out, "He's an idiot." Less funny is the part where she adds that Perry's just going to go put Don's ten bucks into his arm, but it's hardly the biggest surprise in the world, given Midge's fairly thin, haggard appearance and the general feeling of something being off ever since she appeared on screen. Midge reiterates that Perry's an idiot before telling Don she just wanted him to buy a painting, and then the two of them sit on the bed, and Don curiously asks Midge what being on heroin is like. Midge: "Like drinking a hundred bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits." I'm going to have to take her word for it.
She goes on that Perry told her it would take her mind off her work, but "turns out it's a full-time job." He asks why she doesn't stop, then, as if he's not having trouble with substances far less addictive, and she basically tells him that: "I know it's bad for me, but...it's heroin, Don. I just can't stop." I don't know what you say to that. It's tragic. I mean, not that I was a huge fan of Midge and her beatnik lifestyle, but she certainly had plenty of joie de vivre when we knew her last. This is tough to see. Not just for me, as after Midge tells him how happy she is to see him, Don has to take a moment before reaching for his checkbook and writing one out for three hundred bucks for the painting, but the misery's not over, as in possibly the toughest line yet, her voice breaks slightly as she emphasizes just how far she's fallen: "What am I gonna do with a check?" Her shame is so palpable you can practically feel it wash over you like a dirty wave, but Don doesn't judge her for it, instead handing over the hundred and twenty bucks he's got in cash. She looks at him equivocally for a moment and then returns the check, which he tears up.
Trying to inject a little bravado into the situation, she asks if Don thinks her work's any good, but if he wasn't going to judge her, he's not going to let her run away from the truth either: "Does it matter?" Her face falls, and he silently picks up the picture before realizing he doesn't have money to get home, but she tells him to walk across the park, which will be free advertising for her, "like a sandwich board." She again goes for playful, putting her arms around him and giving him a kiss, but he keeps it real, pulling her arms off him and looking deep into her eyes, so she sobers it up, saying it really was great to see him. "I'm glad you haven't changed." Don leaves without another word, and really, for a scene that was pretty understated in terms of the volume of emotions, that was one of my favorites of the season. It was certainly among the top five scenes of the season that made me want to open one of my veins.
Betty is bitching to Dr. Edna about something Henry did that "was so dismissive. It reminded me of Don." Dr. Edna nods sagely, and then tells Betty that since their time's almost up, they should talk about Sally, which is hilarious, like, how much bitching about her own life did Betty do here and she still doesn't think she needs therapy? Anyway, Dr. Edna tells Betty what she told Sally about reducing her sessions to once a week, and Betty starts to panic, saying Sally isn't better and pointing out that she ran away. However, Dr. Edna calmly responds that Sally understands what she did was wrong and has been very responsible since, but Betty confesses that she's afraid of what might happen were Dr. Edna's influence to be reduced. Once again latching on to the real problem here, Dr. Edna offers that she's noticed that whenever Betty comes in there, she "[has] many things on [her] mind," and with diplomatic skills like that this woman should be working for the United Nations instead of the local school system.
She goes on that she feels Betty should have her own time, where she gets to say everything she wants to say, and adds that she has a very talented colleague, "Dr. Evelyn Shapiro," whom she would recommend. Betty asks why she can't talk to Dr. Edna, and Dr. Edna tells her she can, but reminds her that she's a child psychiatrist. And that's maybe her one tactical mistake, as Betty seizes on the word "psychiatrist" and says she doesn't need one; however, she does add that she's willing to do whatever Dr. Edna recommends in regard to Sally. "And I would hope, of course, that if she continues to make progress, that... we could continue to discuss that." Dr. Edna takes a long moment to consider the implications of that statement, but apparently decides she can take on a child-like adult for now as she smiles and tells Betty she'll keep her on the books for month. Betty tells her that's fine if she thinks it's best, and after all the dancing she's done to get what she wanted without having to admit it, I'm betting someone's ready for a nap.
In his office, Don is nervously running through some speech warmups (if you're interested, he favors "Peter Piper" and "Red leather, yellow leather") when Peggy enters. Don asks her for her opinion on what the Phillip Morris people think is the strength of the new product, and Peggy replies that as he knows, women never actually switch from men's brands, so they're "probably looking for a new way to give them out for free." Don looks like he was hoping more, and I really hope you'll forgive me, for some smoke to be blown up his ass, but he nods, and then Megan interrupts to tell them that Geoff is on his way up, and the partners are gathering in Reception. After she leaves, Peggy tells Don he's going to do great...
...but her optimism is sadly misplaced, as after Don joins the nervous partners, Geoff gets off the elevator and has to break the news that Morris canceled the meeting -- they decided to give the account to Leo Burnett. Pete spits that Burnett already has Marlboro, so what happened to the idea of a fresh start? Geoff can only tell them that Morris is "excited" to see where they are in six months, and given that that's the most exceptionally wrong thing he could have said at the moment, you'll imagine that I consider his follow-up of "there's no reason to be discouraged" also to be exceedingly ill-advised. And thankfully, I have Roger to make the same point for me in far fewer words: "You're an asshole, you know that?" Hee, but less hilarious is the part where Stan, Ken, Danny, and some others silently observe the partners storming back into the conference room. Don't go out of business, you guys! I don't want Season Five to take place over at CGC! Most awesomely, Bertram kicks non-partner Harry out of there, and then Don bites out that Morris didn't even bother to give a reason for canceling the meeting because SCDP is so obviously desperate. "They can smell it on us. We reek of it, like some sweaty salesman knocking on his last door!" I deem it quite chivalrous that his analogy didn't call on heroin addicts trying to sell paintings instead.
Roger thinks the air of desperation is due to them going after such small potatoes, and Pete barks about the work he's been doing while Peggy hilariously puts an ear to her wall to listen in, although the volume seems high enough to me that even Joyce is probably getting it all loud and clear. In a more subdued tone, Pryce tells them he met with the bank out of caution, and they're willing to extend SCDP's line of credit to the tune of "six months or so," but on two stringent conditions: One, the senior partners each will have to put a hundred grand up as collateral, with Pete and Pryce also on the hook for fifty each. And two, there will have to be massive layoffs. As we see that Ken and Harry have followed Peggy's lead, Pete, still stuck on the first thing, flatly refuses, but Bertram points out that it's an obligation of his partnership contract. Pete tries to tell them that if they make it to cold and flu season, Vick's will carry them for a while, but Pryce tells him the money is absolutely necessary even though it's a financial hardship for him as well. I'd hope so, considering the total amount the bank is requiring, four hundred grand, is over $2.7 million accounting for inflation. Not chump change even for people who dress as well as these guys do. Bertram thinks they never should have gotten these fancy offices, but Roger spits out that if they move now, they'll only look more desperate, and Don, frustrated at being on the Creative side when it's the Accounts people that are going to save or kill them, tells them to give him a call when they figure it out and then leaves. With that attitude, I'm surprised no one asked, "But you are good for the hundred grand, right?"
Sally is telling Glen about a flying dream she had, and she nonchalantly tells him it felt like she was going to heaven, "except I don't believe in it." Even world-weary Glen is thrown by that one, but Sally says she's only bothered when she thinks about death being for, you know, forever. "Like the Land O'Lakes butter has that Indian girl sitting holding a box, and it has a picture of her on it holding a box, with a picture of her on it holding a box." I cannot believe this conversation is occurring in the sixties and acid isn't involved. Anyway, Glen smiles as he admits she just freaked him out a little, and then Sally takes off with the promise that she'll save her Fritos for him. Aw, cute! And I never thought I'd say that about a scene involving Glen!
Don's having a drink in his office when Pete barges in, having ignored Megan on the way. Don tells her it's all right, and after she's closed the door, Pete tells him that Morris only agreed to the meeting with them to leverage a better deal with Burnett. Don doesn't know why Pete is bothering clarifying the method in which they just got fucked, so Pete gets to his real point, which is that he doesn't know why he's "being punished" (I assume he's referring to the fifty grand) for being practically the only one with any accounts left. Less heatedly, he confesses that he doesn't have the money, but Don tells him he's doing everything he can. "Get me in a room." Megan then buzzes that Peggy is there, and after she and Pete trade places, she tells Don that all the employees are waiting in the conference room, as they didn't know if they should leave or what, but Don replies that it doesn't much matter what they do at the moment. Peggy asks what he thinks of SCDP changing their name, invoking his advice to Caldecott Farms, but Don tells her it's pointless - they have no new direction in which to go, and they can't do anything anyway because they're Creative, "the least important most important thing there is." Dismayed by his feelings of powerlessness and pessimism, Peggy leaves without another word, and I notice that Don is not exactly charging anyone with stopping him drinking today. Fair enough, not handing out fool's errands in this environment.
Pete arrives home, and Trudy greets him with the news that the bank called about a loan application. Pete is none too pleased that they called his home, and with good reason, as Trudy has jumped to conclusions, thinking that he intends to buy them a house in Greenwich. However, Pete's "none too pleased" pales in comparison to Trudy's "lividly disappointed," as when he tells her about the price it's going to take for him to remain partner, she expressly forbids him to put in any more money, even adding that he'd better not even think of asking her father for it. And given that her diatribe includes awesomely dismissive statements like "When you bet big and lose, you don't double down!" and "You'll lose your stateroom on the Titanic?", I think we need to get Trudy mad more often.
Don arrives home, sees Midge's painting, and desperately needing something on which to take out his frustrations, starts to remove the thing to, presumably, the building's trash room. However, he takes a good look at it and decides to go another way, and we cut to him sitting and staring at the thing, as if trying to find meaning and inspiration in its horse-inspired shapes. Later, sitting at his window desk, he rips out everything he's written in his sobriety journal and starts something different, which he titles "Why I'm Quitting Tobacco." Ooh, I always knew that smoker's cough of his they've taken so many pains to show would pay off! Well, actually, it's only tangentially related, as Don, taking a few liberties with who left whom, writes that his agency recently parted ways with Lucky Strike, and he's relieved, because now he doesn't have to participate in selling a product where the quality of work doesn't matter, and that "never improves, causes illness, and makes people unhappy."
As we cut to him typing the statement and then editing it, the voiceover continues that they serviced the brand because there was a lot of money in it; later, he's swimming when he says that they survived on it. "We knew it wasn't good for us, but we couldn't stop." And there's the Midge inspiration he got from the painting, and I like how the show is non-explicitly making the statement that tobacco and heroin are on similar footing with regard to addictiveness. Later, as he continues, we see that his words have been printed in an ad in The New York Times, which we see Henry, Pete, Roger, and then a group on the elevator, including Danny and Joan, reading. DVO tells us that he realized this was an opportunity for him to be able to sleep at night, and as such, SCDP will no longer be accepting tobacco business. Say what you will about Don's impetuousness or self-involvement -- he knows how to attract an audience. And of course, there are many ways in which this play is tactically brilliant, the first and foremost being that their willingness to turn away huge business runs strongly counter to the stench of desperation they've been giving off. Not that you'd be wrong in pointing out that the tobacco companies' response would probably be "Who's asking?" but that's not really the point.
Don goes on to list several agencies that do tobacco well - BBDO and Burnett are mentioned, as well as CGC - and then, as we cut to a crowd in the SCDP break room, Stan finishes up: "As for us, we welcome all other business, because we're certain that our best work is ahead of us. Sincerely, Donald F. Draper, Creative Director, Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce." Another mystery about Don - what does the "F" stand for? I MUST KNOW! Don arrives at the office to admiring looks from some of the rank-and-file, with Stan especially looking like he'd pop on a veil and say "I do" if Don asked the question at this moment. Megan also looks at him with awe before telling him that there have been many calls, mostly from reporters and citizens, but also from an "Emerson Foote," as well as people from the agencies he mentioned in the ad. Megan then tells him that the partners are waiting for him, as if we couldn't see them through the glass looking like they're going to launch themselves through it. Don, however, ignores them and retreats into his office...
...into which the other partners angrily stream. Roger, Pete, and Pryce berate him for doing what he did and for not consulting them, with Pete's voice predictably heading up into Alvin And The Chipmunks range. Don tells them that if they don't understand what he did, they shouldn't be in the ad business, but Bertram, in his usual patrician over-enunciated way, cries that he humiliated them by not putting their names on it. So...they're upset that he ran the ad, and also that they weren't involved? Sounds like a "The food's terrible! And such small portions!" position to take. Pete spits that Don "had a tantrum on a full page in The New York Times," prompting Don to ask if no one is really happy about this. Interestingly, and perhaps because he's remembered how this whole mess stared, Roger backs off a bit, muttering that at least Don's actions will at least make for a good enough reason for why SCDP went down, and then Megan enters and reverently tells them that Bobby Kennedy is on the phone for Don. Don picks up the phone, and I have to tell you I fell for this hook, line, and sinker, but after "Bobby," in a true Joe Quimby accent, tells Don how impressed he is, he eventually reveals himself to be Ted Chaough, who, between guffaws, thanks Don for putting his agency's name in with "the big boys."
Hilariously, when Don hangs up the phone, he tells them it was actually Eunice Kennedy, but Bertram is not amused as he calls Don "cynical and craven," tells him he knew he never had the stomach for a partnership, and quits on the spot. As I mentioned in the recaplet, I don't know if that means he's not going to fork over the hundred grand, but (a) this could just be a grand gesture to make a point rather than anything he's going to follow through on, and (b) he might have already given the money over. Pete and Roger follow Bertram out without another word, but Pryce lingers to tell Don that he'll need his contribution by close of business, "as it were." Don tells him his play could work, and he's certainly got the fact that no one else was doing anything effective on his side, but Pryce doesn't want to hear it: "You realize I've just moved my family back here." Really? One, how did you manage that, and two, what about your chocolate bunny? However, Don gets some support when Megan comes in and tells him that while she knows part of the ad's purpose was to put a "he didn't dump me, I dumped him" (her words) message out there, she likes that Don stands for something and is glad he did what he did. "It feels different around here." Don looks like he feels a bit better about the whole thing...
...as well he might, given that in the break room, Harry is rattling off a list of potential clients that called about the ad. Hilariously, Danny asks if Don is going to quit smoking, prompting Stan to sigh, "You're an idiot." Savor those while you can, Stan. Ken pipes up that he heard from all his clients that morning, and while it was mostly "morbid curiosity," they're certainly not talking about Lucky Strike anymore, which Peggy obviously thinks was the point. However, Harry complains that they're going to fire everyone, and then Bertram appears and tells them it was a pleasure working with all of them, and you know I love the guy but (a) he hasn't had a thing to do this entire season, so maybe writing him out is a smart decision, and (b) I would bet a sum of money I don't even have that he doesn't know the names of half the people currently in the room. When he's gone, Stan is awesomely like, "I didn't think they'd start with him." Hee. Megan then appears and summons Peggy to see Don, and after the room freezes, she gets up and starts walking like she's on the Green Mile...
...but she's immediately relieved when Don asks her whom she can live without. After taking a moment to collect herself, she singles out Danny, "though he's kind of grown on me." I always thought he was hilarious, but I can see that he's kind of grown to fit in around there. Don tells her Pryce sent over some suggestions, and while there are a lot of names, the only ones we know are Danny and that other guy Bill who's had like one line the entire season. Peggy cautiously notes that that's a lot of people, and asks if they're going under, but he tells her no -- he just wanted her to know what's up in case they came to her. He then notes that she hasn't said anything about the letter, and she shows that despite all the turmoil, she'll always be ready to tell him what's what: "I thought you didn't go in for those kinds of shenanigans." They both smile at the callback, which is a nice moment of levity in an episode that could sure use it.
Betty's driving down the street when she just happens to catch sight of Sally, and when she observes her walk into a clearing and meet up with Glen, it is, as you can imagine, on. She bustles right over and asks what they're doing there, and after a deer-in-the-headlights moment, Glen drops the two sodas he's carrying and runs for minimum safe distance. She calls after him to stay away from Sally before manhandling her daughter out of there...
...and then, when they get home, Betty informs Sally they won't be going back for her bike. Sally, calmly enough under the circumstances, says that Glen is just her friend and they don't do anything, but Betty tells her that Glen is a Bad Kid, and she knows him better than Sally does. Sally: "You don't know him at all." Betty does not really have any idea what to say to that, given that whatever interactions she's had with Glen are inappropriate to discuss with children and adults alike, so she settles for telling Sally to go to her room. If speed-dial existed back in this time, I'm betting Dr. Edna would be on Betty's.
Don and Megan, apparently having taken a trip to the coffee maker, return to Megan's area to find Faye waiting for them. Faye notes that Don is smiling, and he jokes that, indicating Megan, while the partners want to kill him, he has a bodyguard. Megan asks if Faye would like something, but Faye declines with a bit of brusqueness, and even though it's understandable just based on what we're about to hear I wonder if she's also feeling a bit territorial here. She and Don enter his office, wherein he notices that she's got a box of stuff, and she explains that they had to resign, as "Geoff Atherton wants another cigarette account someday." Don looks genuinely taken aback and says he didn't think about that, and Faye, pleasantly but pointedly, says she knows. But she's not really upset, nor should she be, because what he did is kind of the payoff of the season's theme - it's the biggest example of a character doing what he wanted to do rather than what was expected of him. Anyway, he apologizes, and after they kiss, she gives him his marching orders - he's going to finish the day and then meet her for dinner out in the open, wherever she wants, and they'll talk about anything but work, "because we can do that now." She adds that it's a fair trade, and after they kiss again, he suggests a time and place, to which she replies, "Sure. Have your girl make reservations." Yup, there's an undertone there, and this time even Don seems to catch it, but there's nothing really to say about it, so he opens the door...
...and then, on her way out, Faye stops in to say goodbye to Peggy, who was unaware of this development and is chagrined, asking who's going to do their research. Faye, not without humor, tells her she just lost one of her best jobs, and Peggy tells her she didn't mean to be insensitive -- it's just that she loves working with Faye, the obvious implication being that she respects and admires her as a career woman. She asks if they can have a drink, and when Faye says she just wants to get out of there, Peggy clarifies she didn't mean now, necessarily. "You do your job so well, and they respect you and you don't have to play any games." Faye smiles and asks if that's really what it looks like, and then offers that she's sure they'll work together again before shaking Peggy's hand and leaving. So, "no" on that drink idea, then?
The Francis family (ugh, that's never going to sound right) is sitting around the dinner table when Henry arrives home, apparently earlier than usual. He's in a good mood, but Betty tells him that she had quite a day thanks to the "low-caliber people" taking over the neighborhood, and then, with a pointed look at the back of Sally's head, announces that she thinks it's time for them to move. Sally's eyes go wide at this unbelievably passive-aggressive act from her mother, and even as Henry expresses his predictable enthusiasm for the idea and suggests Rye as a possibility, Sally rushes out of the room. Betty only looks hatefully pleased with herself as she tells Henry that Sally will get over it...
...but upstairs, Sally lies distraught and sobbing on her bed as she holds Glen's lanyard. Betty, I'd watch out -- that thing's meant to attach to a weapon.
It's time for a meeting of the brass, and Joan, in a subdued voice, says she, Harry, Roger, and Don should probably start firing people. Pryce pipes up that they should restrain themselves from giving out overly generous severances, and Joan adds that they should try to make sure people don't take all their office supplies. I'd like to know who gets put in charge of checking people's pockets for staplers and hole punchers. I don't know if it fits character-wise, but I'd love to see Pete do it. Roger then asks Don if he's ever going to return the American Cancer Society's call, as they tried him twice that morning. Don was under the impression that it was another gag, but Roger assures him it's not -- they finally called him, and they want SCDP to come in about an anti-smoking campaign. He says this, of course, on his way to taking a drag off his cigarette, but hey, they don't have the account yet. Don is encouraged, and even Harry sees the prestige value, but Pete doesn't see how free work can help them. I'd be surprised that Pete, usually the most forward-thinking of this bunch, doesn't see how much money there's going to be in anti-smoking campaigns, but he does have a lot on his mind at the moment. Don focuses on the fact that someone called them, and they could have new work on the air, and Ken points out that there are a lot of bigwigs on the board of the ACS.
Even Roger concedes that "under normal circumstances," he'd consider this a real opportunity, and after Pete takes another swipe at Don, the meeting breaks up, with Roger offering, "I gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them." Hilarious and entirely unsurprising -- after all, we know how great Roger is at firing people. When the room has cleared out, Pete tells Pryce that he doesn't have the money, and wonders if there's any way he can owe it against a bonus or future salary. Pete, you're not exactly understanding the bank's idea of collateral here, although in the first few years of the new millennium you'd probably have been able to get away with it. Regardless, it's irrelevant, as Pryce tells him that Don paid his share. "Perhaps you weren't supposed to know that." Well, if that were true I think Don would have thought to say something to you, Pryce, old boy. Pete emerges and catches Don's eye just as Danny enters his office, and Pete silently raises his cup in Don's direction, getting a somewhat wary nod in return. And as I said in the recaplet, it reflects better on both of them that this solution was put into play without Pete having to ask for it, not only because it's repayment of a debt, after a fashion, but it shows how much Don is aware that Pete is essential to the future of SCDP. Actually, I think Don and Pete could strike out on their own and do just fine together, but having a few people to serve as buffers would probably be advisable.
Stan and Peggy are working in the break room when they observe two people leaving after having been freshly fired. They look at each other and share a moment of survivor's guilt before soldiering on...
...and then Danny and Don emerge from Don's office. Danny thanks Don for the opportunity, and Don sincerely says it was his pleasure. We then see that Bill is sitting in a nearby chair, and from the look on his face he might as well have grabbed a blindfold and a cigarette. Don calls him in, but before he can follow, he looks down the hall at all the devastated now-former employees waiting for the elevator. And that's the rather depressing way we leave to await the season finale.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or get information about his most recent film "East Fifth Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, at https://twitter.com/eastfifthbliss.