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After an outing with Joyce to Jones Beach, Peggy finds herself in close quarters with Abe, and despite any past differences they end up Doing It, multiple times. Abe then shows up to the office pretending to be a delivery boy to score some more Peggy tail, a development that seems not to be lost on Stan, who tries to hit on her and is thankfully shot down in exceedingly clear language.
We meet Ken's wife and her parents, her father awesomely being RAY WISE, and also learn that BBDO knows about Lucky Strike leaving SCDP. Ken spreads the bad news to Pete and then Don like wildfire, and before you know it Roger comes into the office and finds the bunch of them plus Bertram waiting to ask him what's up. Roger, understandably and yet to his extreme discredit, plays dumb and fakes a call to Garner, the upshot of which is that Roger fake-offers to take a fake trip to try to get the account back, and then calls Bertram from fake North Carolina and tells them the very real news that Lucky Strike is over. He then comes clean to Joan, getting a strip ripped off him as a result for not having told her what was up, and even though she allows him to come over to her place, it's only to inform him that she can't be involved with him anymore. Bertram later tells Roger that Garner never took him seriously because Roger never took himself seriously, and it may feel like an overly easy time for recriminations, but it still sounds like Bertram is spot-on as usual. When Roger arrives home, he finds a beaming Jane waiting with bound copies of his book, and the way he signs one for her is about the most listless thing you've ever seen.
Trudy is in labor, and when Glo-Coat dumps SCDP in the panicky wake of everyone hearing about Lucky Strike, Don accuses Pete of not having his head in the game, and of course as you'd imagine that's particularly unappreciated in light of what Pete did for Don last time. Pete confesses the situation to his father-in-law, who tells him that Ted Chaough would kill to have him over at CGC. Pete denies any interest in leaving SCDP, but later, when Chaough shows up to the hospital and tells him he'd be happy to have Pete become the other "C" in CGC, you have to wonder if it's an offer Pete will be able to refuse, even though if SCDP gets through this his name really should replace Roger's on the door. Also, Trudy finally delivers a baby girl, which is nice.
Don seeks comfort in Faye's arms after hearing about Lucky Strike, and after the partners announce the grim news to the rest of the company, Don realizes they need accounts however they can get them, even going to far as to attend the funeral of a prominent competitor for business. However, when he tries to get information about some clients' thoughts from Faye, she furiously invokes the Chinese wall she's mentioned once before, and even though he tells her he'd breach ethics for her were their situations reversed, she storms out. Later, Megan tells Don that she'd like to be a copywriter someday, so he allows her to sit with him, and after they get to know each other, she kisses him, and although he resists, after she assures him that she won't run out of there crying the day, they settle in for some office lovin'. However, when he arrives home he finds Faye waiting to tell him she set up a meeting for him with Heinz, who's unhappy with their current representation, and then they settle in on the couch, being sure to leave some extra space for Don's guilt.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!With the sun down, Peggy and Joyce get into the latter's VW bug as the former notes that she has sand "in the weirdest places." Joyce snarks that as it's Jones Beach, she shouldn't be sure it's sand, and I don't have the most active imagination but I still think that comment would make for a long car ride home. However, the entrance of some "hitchers," as Joyce calls them, takes their minds off anything lodged in their body's crevasses, especially since one of them is none other than Abe, our outspoken journalist type. Despite the way their last meeting ended, they look shyly pleased to see each other, and then the overabundance of people in the car dictates that Peggy end up sitting on Abe's lap. He lightly brushes some salt off her arm and notes that she went in the ocean, and when she tells him she likes the water, he asks if he can quote her on that. When she turns to him with a questioning look, he wryly adds, "I'm learning," and given how much she's always liked him...
...it's no surprise that we cut to her leading him into her bedroom, with Abe, seeing the state of her bedroom, opining that she's a slob. Yup, still a work in progress there, guy. Still, Peggy's not offended, instead just telling him to keep it down because of her roommate, and soon he's got her on the bed and is complimenting her shoulders. "You look like you're in the Olympics." Although the idea of looking like she regularly competes in the shot-put might not be every woman's fantasy, Peggy merely smiles as she tells him he never stops talking, and, getting the message, he gets back to business. And the fact that he's demonstrating an ability to be trained makes him boyfriend material indeed.
It's time to meet Ken's fiancée (I had thought they had gotten married, but that's how he introduces her), who's babbling to her parents, and her father, as I noted with glee in the recaplet, is played by the wonderful Ray Wise, whom I haven't seen since Reaper was so sadly canceled. Anyway, "Cynthia" is played by 10 Things I Hate About You's Larisa Oleynik, and she's relating the story of how she, Trudy, and some other friends were at "a lecture on rhododendrons" (you'll remember they're in the same garden club) when Trudy's water broke, and I commend her on her timing, because that experience sounds boring enough that I might try to sell going into labor to get out of it.
Ken pipes up that Pete and his father-in-law were obliviously off playing golf when it happened, and then gets up when some guy, "John Flory," stops at the table to say hello. After introductions are made, Flory tells Ken that he's sorry about "you know," which Ken misinterprets as condolences over the death of a "David Montgomery," whom I'm assuming was an employee of either Geyer or McCann, given that Ken waves off the sympathy by saying he was only "there" for about six months. When Flory is like, "...right," though, Ken realizes something bigger is up, and even though Flory tries to make a clean getaway, Ken chases after him and asks what's really going on. Turns out Flory is at BBDO, and as such is in the position to tell Ken about Lucky Strike's defection. Ken tells him that can't be true, but sounds like he wants to believe it more than he really does, and Flory, sincerely enough, tells him he's sorry before getting the hell out of there. Ken, for his part, takes a long moment to recover from the shock before returning and apologizing to the table and then vanishing. And what fiancée doesn't love to see her man demonstrating his ability to rush out unexpectedly?
Ken turns up to the hospital in which Pete is awaiting developments, and Pete exclaims, "What a pleasant surprise!" Like this isn't going to be tough enough for our Kenny. After Pete jovially tells him there's nothing much going on yet, Ken lets him know what he just heard...
...and then we cut to Don and Faye, just having kissily entered the former's apartment, being interrupted by the phone ringing. With Ken hovering over him, Pete, in a pay booth, desperately blurts out the news, and when Don tells him to call Roger, Pete tells him he wasn't home. Don orders him to wake Bertram and then convene in the office, and then makes a call, presumably either to Jane or to whatever watering hole he thinks Roger frequents...
...which leads to Roger later entering his office to find the partners, minus Pryce and plus Ken, anxiously arrayed. After Ken once again repeats what he heard, Roger pretends he has no idea what they're talking about, which really isn't going to make him look any better even if everyone buys it. In other words, a classic Roger Sterling move. Roger goes to the phone and dials, asking if anyone's informed Pryce while he does, and Don tells him yes: "I don't think he'll be going back to sleep." Not only that, I'd bet not coming back to the States is seeming like a more attractive option. Anyway, Roger picks up the phone and surreptitiously disconnects the call (seems hard to believe no one noticed this, but it's true that people are fixated on his face, given the situation) before completely faking an exchange with Garner, and while the conversation from his end is credible - he even gives the group an "aside" that Garner is drunk - the fact that they cannot hear any muffled shouting from the other end should tip them off, no? Anyway, despite the lying and the performance, Roger surely must be feeling a renewed sense of shock and loss now that it's all out on the open, so I believe that his need to sit down is fairly genuine, and when Don tells him they need to get on the first plane down to North Carolina, Roger tells him he'll do it, as he's known Garner half his life. Bertram manages to croak that he needs a drink, and while that's always a momentous occasion, Don is too busy staring appraisingly at Roger even to notice.
Don arrives home again, bestirring Faye, who was asleep on the couch. She sits up and asks what time it is, and after he tells her it's midnight, he goes to his trusty bottle and offers her a drink. Faye: "Looks like you need both." And he doesn't mind if he does! He breaks the news to Faye, who's appropriately shocked, but her sympathy doesn't stop her from warning him off when he pours another shot, telling him he has to keep a clear head now. He at least desists from chugging, instead sighing raggedly that he's been trying to avoid thinking about this eventuality for ages. Faye opines that he's "the most hirable man on Madison Avenue," a subject on which I have to say the show has been remarkably wishy-washy this season, but rather than put up an argument, Don merely says he's not quite at that point yet. Isn't it heartening that one of the guys with his name on the door isn't about to run away after sitting with admittedly terrible news for a full two hours? Faye encourages him to sit back on the couch, and when he complies, she puts an arm around him and silently tries to comfort him. Don, look on the bright side - this means no more hastily-thrown-together and painfully-socially-awkward Christmas parties, right?
In the morning, Pete returns to the hospital, and his father-in-law Tom, still in his ugly golf outfit (Pete's is far more stylish; no plaid), tells him it's probably going to be another day, at least. Pete, looking fairly distraught, asks if he can see Trudy, but Tom, catching on, asks if Pete's been drinking. And if that's the case, I wonder if he and Bertram got trashed together, and if so why we didn't get to see any of that. Tom mistakes Pete's anxiety as baby-related, and tells Pete to chill out, as he was at a baseball game when Trudy was born, but Pete, after some thought, decides to let him in on the Lucky Strike secret. Tom is like, "Okay, seriously, time to get your ass out of SCDP," and then elaborates that while Pete can be sure of having his account, he's got a family now, and by the way, with Clearasil over at CGC, he's been in a position to learn that Ted Chaough would love to have Pete. Pete literally is like, "I hate him," and adds that Chaough would only want him because of the blow it would strike to Don, but Tom tells him there's no reward in going down with the ship. Well, Tom, I think people do that not for reward but because they couldn't live with themselves otherwise. I mean, I didn't coin the expression or anything, but I think there's something there, you know? Anyway, after Pete firmly denies that he's interested in going anywhere, Trudy's mom comes out, tells them Trudy finally went to sleep, and then throws some shade Pete's (and, by extension, her husband's) way for not having been around all night. Pete abjectly apologizes, which is probably better than explaining what happened but still makes me feel bad for him. Pete, there will be plenty of time for guilt once your child is actually born!
Abe is getting dressed, and he's having to put his beach clothes back on, which is maybe not quite on the level of shame of re-donning a tux but is still not exactly covering yourself in glory. Not that he has to worry about that yet, because after a few flirty words and a disclaimer from Peggy that she's "not usually like this," the clothes are back off and they are Doing It again. I'm guessing all the sand or whatever it is has worked its way out by now.
Bertram, Pete, and Don are having pastries and coffee in Don's office when Roger calls to tell them it's done -- since Garner Sr. lost it, the board has taken over and there's no point in talking to them. It's all basically what Garner Jr. told him last episode, but Roger is pretending that he just walked out of their offices in North Carolina when he's actually in a New York hotel. Bertram tells him their clients need to hear this from them, and Roger replies that he shouldn't wait for him to get back. Oh, Roger. Even a trace of leadership at this point would make such a difference, you know?
The morning, a full staff meeting has been convened, and after the Creative guys engage in some erroneous speculation about the gathering's purpose, Bertram announces the news about American Tobacco, prompting predictable whispering and wincing among the crowd. Bertram then cedes the floor to Don, who first off tells everyone that Pete and Ken are the only ones authorized to break the news to their other clients, although, and this is where Roger's lack of backbone really hurts, it's likely that many of them know about it already thanks to the delay between when the firing actually happened and when they think it did. Don goes on that up until now, they've had a good year and have gained far more accounts than they've lost thanks to the quality of their work, so they're going not just to survive but to make lemonade out of lemons or some shit. I mean, it sounded good when he said it but let's not pretend this is good news, right?
Don then introduces some older guy, "Joe," who's apparently the firm's accountant even though we've never seen him before, although I suppose it's possible he doesn't work in-house. Joe assures everyone that the only small change is that any expenses out of the ordinary will have to be approved by either him, Pryce, or Joan, and honestly if that wasn't the case already Lucky Strike was doing them a favor on that front. Joe then asks if anyone has any questions, and Danny raises his hand, but he's so short that from the front Joe can't see him, so he hilariously moves on. I mean, jokes about Danny Strong's height are to be used sparingly, but the show is consistently smart with material such as that. By the way, Peggy has sashayed in late, but she quickly loses her post-coital glow when she hears the news, and then when the meeting breaks up Don calls the entire Creative team into his office...
...in which he tells them that they're in some trouble, and while he and the other partners will be doing everything they can to drum up new business, Creative needs to hold on to what they have, which means that clients' ideas are to be praised more than usual. "For the few weeks, the only words you know are "Yes, sir.'" I wonder if Megan overheard this and got confused. After telling Stan to babysit the Samsonite shoot that's going on, he gives Peggy her marching orders with respect to a Playtex presentation she's making the day: "Be successful." Well, it's pretty sparse on the details, but I suppose "Tap into your newfound sexual confidence and let everyone know you're getting some" might be a bit much in front of a roomful of boys. Don then dismisses the men but holds Peggy back, cautioning her that they won't even know how bad things might be until Pryce returns, but he's counting on her. Peggy smiles at his confidence in her, and its not like he has much choice but it's still nice to see. When she's gone, Don takes a longing look at his bar, but ultimately decides to sit down and get to work. You know, Don, I don't know if "Out of sight, out of mind" will completely work in this case, but you could still try wheeling that thing out into the hall.
Roger calls Joan, who's all kindness and sympathy until he confesses his deception, saying that it's been over for weeks and Garner reneged on his promise to give them an extra month. Joan's shocked and appalled that he knew for all this time, and then wonders just what exactly she's supposed to do with this information, to which he pathetically replies that he just needed her to know why he has to see her now. My God, Roger, you're...burdening her with this information now so she can assuage your guilt, when there would be no need for either if you'd simply sucked it up and told your partners about a situation that was one hundred percent unchangeable? On top of everything else, how could you possibly think this is behavior to which Joan would be attracted? Agreeing with me, she icily and pointedly says she should go attend to all the work she has, although she does say she'll see when Roger begs her to come to his hotel when she's done. After she's hung up, she pulls out a cigarette with unsteady hands and stares into space, and if you ever needed a reason why you shouldn't put people in impossible situations just for the sake of unburdening yourself, you're looking at one here.
Peggy is telling Danny about her pitch, saying that her setup is good but she needs some Don-esque touches at the end, to which Danny flatly tells her to have Don write it, as they can't lose the account. Don't think that's the kind of help she was looking for, and yet it does have a certain unimaginative logic. Stan then joins them and says that Pete announced that anyone caught sending out a résumé would be "executed," and if that's the case I'd hope Pete would indulge in some poetic flair and sentence the offender to death by paper cuts. Peggy brings it back around to Playtex, saying her idea is that their gloves protect a woman's fingers so she can touch all the things she wants to touch, and I feel like "Insert your own joke here" takes on a whole new meaning in this case. Danny makes the same point with his "All the things?" and Stan snickers, but Peggy's back in dreamy post-coital land, and she says yes -- his lips, the hair on his chest, "the small of his back," and just so you know, we did get a shot of her caressing that part of his anatomy before we cut away from Abe last time. And speaking of whom, Abe appears pretending to have a package for Peggy, and again, the innuendo is too easy, so let's move ahead to her having left "to get cash for the delivery" with Abe in tow, at which point Danny notes that Peggy is "giving it off," which Stan thinks is understandable, as they're in "the last days of Rome. I was in an agency that went down. The women get sex-crazed. The energy is...very good." That's all very well for Danny, as long as he concentrates on the women who can actually see him. (Hey, the show started it!)
When we return, Harry, Don, and Bertram are going over some accounts, the need for which Harry moronically questions, forcing Don to be like, "They need to know we're still alive, doofus." Joan enters, waking poor Pete up, and announces that Pryce estimates their billings at around twenty-two million without Lucky Strike, but he has to check everything to make sure. And on that note, I'm surprised he's not in the air already, but maybe given the news he's trying to downgrade to coach. Also, I'm guessing that number puts them in a pretty precarious position, notwithstanding the random accountant's public assessment of the situation. Bertram brings up the fact that the funeral of the guy Ken referenced earlier, David Montgomery, is the day, and given that he was an SVP at the fourth-biggest agency in town, "there's going to be a lot of vulnerable clients in attendance." And here I thought Elaine Benes was tacky when she trolled a funeral for an apartment. Don pipes up that Roger knew him, but before they can make any further morbid plans, Megan enters the conference room, which we should know by now never heralds good news. She tells Don that the guy they deal with at Glo-Coat is on the phone for him, which is a bad sign, given that Pete just talked to him that morning...
...and the news lives up to the portents, as the guy tells him they're dropping SCDP, although Don heatedly refuses to let him get away with claiming it's a coincidence, and tells him they'll want another shot at the account in the future, which the guy grants, "as long as you're around." After the call ends, Don smashes the Clio award against his desk, breaking it in two, prompting Megan to rush in and ask what that was. Given my opinion of the Clios, I'd answer "overdue." Don tells her it was nothing, and then asks if she'd please keep an eye on his drinking for him. I admire his attempts to curb his problem, but putting the onus on past, present, and future lays seems ill-advised to me. Hilariously, Megan expresses uncertainty about just how far to let him go, so he explicitly instructs her to cut him off at three drinks. Given that, you'd think he wouldn't chug the first one if you hadn't seen the show before.
Don rejoins the people in the conference room, in which Pete is telling everyone that the delivery is taking so long because Trudy's pelvis is too small. Bertram tartly opines that they should cut the baby out, and if this is bitterness over the unnecessary surgery he endured it's both welcome and highly amusing. Don then acidly cuts in that Pete should go to the hospital, as there's nothing for him to do at SCDP, and "it's obviously what matters to you." Unfair, most definitely, but no one exactly steps in to defend Pete, especially after Don goes to the blackboard, on which are all their current accounts, and erases Glo-Coat's name, causing another freezing wave of panic to wash over the room. Pete stands and asks if Don really is questioning his commitment here, but Don volleys back that Pete is distracted and as such "scared the shit out of [the Glo-Coat guy]." Pete, in a tone lower and more menacing than usual, asks who the hell Don thinks he's talking to, and for those of us in the know, the comment carries extra weight given what Pete did for Don last week. Pete storms out in disgust, and Don stares balefully after him...
...while Abe has apparently finished his, um, delivery, and heads for the SCDP exit. Stan, however, passes him on his way out, and the smile he gives to himself suggests he's quite aware of Peggy's noontime activities. Which...I guess makes him the new Paul Kinsey?
Despite his anger at Don, Pete has taken his advice and returned to the hospital, but is chagrined to see that Ted Chaough is waiting there for him, although Tom first intercepts Pete and tells him not to get mad. Pete at least stays civil while Chaough somewhat nauseatingly glad-hands Trudy's mother, but when the two of them step away for a private word, Pete asks Chaough what he wants. Chaough gives him the full-court press, first running down his list of Pete's perceived achievements and then telling him that he's what CGC needs -- Jim Cutler is due to retire, and he thinks "Campbell, Gleason, and Chaough" has a nice ring to it. Pete, rather astutely, asks if Chaough wouldn't want his own name first, and that seems suspicious to me as well, but Chaough assures Pete that he would have a full voting third, and by the way, they just got Alfa Romeo. "I think you'll really enjoy driving one." Okay, forget Pete -- I'm starting to get interested. Pete, however, says he doesn't drive, but Chaough offers to teach him, and that's another one of those plot points I hope happens only if they show it. Chaough then turns back to Trudy's parents and tells them he can get them a hotel room across the street, but Pete just stares blankly into space. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing.
Joan lets Roger into her place, but when he starts kissing her, she tells him they can talk, and that's it. Taking in her fairly utilitarian pajamas, he asks if that's what she sleeps in now, and she, already tired of him (and I know the feeling), asks what he wants -- she's exhausted! He pathetically tells her he needs her and they belong together, but she's not having it. "I'm not a solution to your problems. I'm another problem." That's a quote the show put up on its Twitter feed this week, and I can see why. She tells him she can't do this anymore, and he doesn't hear her at first, but when she falls silent, spent from the energy it takes to deal with his infantile self, he finally gets it, although he does pull her in for a goodbye hug. After another long look, he trudges over to the door, and then turns back and asks if that night they got mugged was really the last time. Joan looks at him and fractionally shrugs her shoulders, and he sighs, "I wish I'd known that." Despite your ridiculousness, Roger, I feel for you, but knowing it was ending would only have made you feel a different kind of devastation.
The janitor is at work and Don's got a drink in his hand, and if that's only his third I'll go back to the last scene and eat Roger's bowler hat. Faye wanders in and says she thought the place would still be packed, but Don sighs that it's eight o'clock. "There's only so much we can pretend like we're doing." Heh. Faye closes the door and asks if he's okay, and when he offers her a drink, she tells him she'd rather eat. He defensively says he's "one over" for the day, so apparently that's only his fourth drink, which I still find hard to believe but maybe wouldn't be willing to stake eating felt to find out. After they kiss, Faye asks how it went, and Don is forced to admit it was miserable. "I'm used to having my ideas rejected, not me." At least among the sighted population.
He asks how she deals wit It, and she tells him that she presents facts, and if clients are unhappy with the agency, that's not her problem. Picking up on her oblique implication, Don asks her who's unhappy, but after a lighthearted attempt to put him off, he persists, and some attitude creeps into her voice as she asks if he's kidding. He says no, as he's drowning here, and tries to tell her that no one has to know, but she sharply tells him the standard of ethics in their business is low enough without her contributing to its decline. If he let it go now, there still might be no damage done, but his own tone gets heated as he keeps at her until she tells him in no uncertain terms to forget it. Down to his last ace, he says that he would do it for her, but she's got a trump left: "I would never ask. I would never use you like that. Because I know the difference between what we have and this stupid office." I'm glad Don lets Faye leave instead of attempting to argue the point, because hearing him claim that he has any perspective when it comes to work might be enough to make my brain explode.
The day, in Peggy's office, Stan watches Peggy as she silently practices her presentation, and after someone buzzes to let her know that the Playtex people have left their hotel, she confesses how nervous she is, prompting Stan to tell her she needs to relax. Peggy: "No. I can't do this drunk." Hee. But no, as he closes the door, he tells her that he knows a "technique" for relaxation that he learned from a yogi, and it says something about the level of Peggy's anxiety that she doesn't see this for the line it so obviously is. And in short order, Stan plants one on her, but she tells him to get off, and when he says he saw her with "the delivery boy," she tells him he's her boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, it's easy to forget about that, but even though she might be taking liberties with the word, she called Abe her boyfriend! Aw. Stan, however, doesn't believe her, and grossly tells "baby" that "it's the end of the world," but she reopens the door before asking him why he keeps making her reject him. He says he was trying to do her a favor, threatening to make my brain explode for suicide rather than overuse reasons, and she does admit she's no longer nervous. Anger and extreme loathing will do that, or at least that's my personal experience.
Don, Joan, and Pete come into Roger's office, where he and Bertram are already waiting. Roger feeds them a cock-and-bull story about the "reasons" "expressed" to him on his "trip," and then laughs when he hears about David Montgomery, like, are they doing a Dexter-esque thing by making Roger more and more unlikable so we won't miss him when he's dead? I mean, I don't know anything, but I've seen speculation everywhere this week that they're setting Roger up to kill himself, and given how this entire season has been shoving what a waste of space he is in his face, I suppose I can see why.
Roger wanted Lucky Strike all to himself, and Don, despite his words about Glo-Coat earlier, adds that Pete would never have let this happen. Fascinating, isn't it, that Pete and Don seem so solid these days that they can say anything to each other and still maintain mutual trust and respect. Roger tries to play the victim by saying he only even agreed to start SCDP out of friendship, but it's obvious now that Don was only interested in the account, and I barely have the strength to note that it's not even worth analyzing the merits, or lack thereof, of that statement if he doesn't even have the respect to come clean about what really happened with Garner. Roger tells them all to get out and "go chase a hearse," but just then Megan interrupts, and as they're not in the conference room, she's allowed to have good news - Trudy just delivered a girl. Everyone, with the disgustingly predictable exception of Roger, congratulates Pete, and after Joan gives Roger a look that's equal parts pity and disapproval, everyone leaves to go to the meeting. However, with Bertram bringing up the rear, Roger asks where the hell Don gets off, prompting Bertram to turn back: "Lee Garner Jr. never took you seriously because you never took yourself seriously." I enjoyed that more on second viewing, I'm not going to lie to you.
Playtex has apparently arrived, and the energy in Peggy's office suggests the nervousness has returned to grab both of them, as Stan asks if there are no hard feelings, and Peggy assures him there aren't. However, when she smiles at him, we see there's lipstick all over her teeth, and Stan declines to let her in on that little secret. So instead of gaining points with her by preventing her potential embarrassment, he opts for schadenfreude. I wish I could say I've never done the same.
Some ad man is giving a eulogy for the deceased, which basically amounts to telling the family "Sorry he was such a single-minded career man," while the SCDP attendees strategize in hushed voices about whom to target, and all I can say about that is the sentence "We have dog-food experience" is uttered entirely unironically. Another guy gets up and tells some war stories that kind of amount to that same "Your husband/father loved you so much despite being at work 24/7," and this time Pete and Don look slightly stricken at the message. Not that they're going to abandon their plan to use the guy's death to get new accounts, but maybe they'll feel less jolly about it now.
Peggy gives her presentation, and one of the Playtex guys is impressed, but notices the lipstick and tries unsuccessfully to clue her in. Despite her obliviousness, she's hit a home run, and the guys tell her so before leaving. When they're gone, Peggy opines that that went well, and Harry nods. "You have lipstick all over your teeth." Despite how odious I think Harry's become, never let it be said that I think Rich Sommer can't deliver a line. Horrified, Peggy checks her teeth, and then looks up to see Stan give her a nice knowing smile. Peggy at least exhibits a sense of humor about it to herself after the initial shock wears off, but I still think she's going to try to get Stan to look through a spyglass with shoe polish on the eyepiece sometime soon.
Don returns from the funeral and is surprised to find Megan still at her desk, and then tells her once she gets the campaign briefs from Ken's accounts, she can go. As an afterthought, he asks her to send Peggy in, so at least this is starting innocently enough, but after he pours himself a drink (what's the over/under today?), he notices that the Clio has been repaired and is sitting on his desk. But lest you think it's some sci-fi plotline where the Clio mysteriously reassembles itself no matter how many times he breaks it, Megan appears and, after telling him that Peggy's off celebrating her Playtex success by having her boyfriend lick the lipstick off her teeth...I mean, "gone for the day," she explains that she thought in the end, he wouldn't want to get rid of the award. Don mildly tells her she's mistaken as he takes the files from her, and she starts to leave but turns back to ask if he'd like her help. He warns her that what he's about to do is a bit complicated, but she expresses her desire to learn, and by the way, I wasn't as bothered by them as some people, but I do have to note for the sake of thoroughness, especially since they're going to come into play in a moment, that Jessica Paré's teeth are absolutely enormous, and even if I went in that direction I might find them a little off-putting to make out with. Don, however, has no such hang-ups, but somewhat skeptically asks, "Really," so Megan tells him that she thinks learning some more advanced stuff would help her avoid mistakes, and besides, she thinks she might like to be a copywriter someday. Don is surprised at that second bit, but consents to have her sit with him.
However, it doesn't take long for him to start asking her personal questions; she's from Montreal originally, and came to New York because "for an artist, it's Mecca." Okay, I take back what I said about not being overly bothered -- with this closer camera setup, those chompers are taking up half the screen, so you'll forgive me if I don't get more than a bit of Megan telling Don how she's an artistic person and whatever, and then she giggles about how she knows everything about him and has him on her mind all day, and yet he doesn't know the first thing about her. And look, she does a pretty artful job of seducing him, but I'm really starting to worry that THE TEETH are coming for me, so let's wrap this up: She ends up kissing him, and while he tells her he can't make any mistakes at the moment, she replies that she only wants him now, and backs that up by assuring him that she's not going to come in crying the day. And not that I didn't like Allison, but that was hilarious, especially given that Megan was in that stupid focus group. Anyway, they settle in...
...while on a different couch, Jane is waiting when Roger arrives home. He tries to blow by her into the bedroom, claiming he's exhausted, but she has a surprise for him - a box of bound copies of his book. I was wondering at first if she had them done herself, but the back cover has an artist's rendering of him, which I can't imagine anyone but an actual publisher would bother doing. Still, I wonder whom he got to put it out. Jane asks Roger to personalize it, which he does in an extremely mechanical manner, even though he signs it for his "loving wife." She puts her arms around him and tells him she's so proud, but he, knowing how little there is actually to be proud of, merely looks forlorn and lost, much like a little boy who likes chocolate ice cream but is only allowed to eat vanilla. (I will never get tired of referencing that.)
Megan and Don are done and getting dressed, and he asks, "You want to grab a bite?" Do you have a death wish, man? She tells him that what she wants is for him to go home and sleep and not drink any more tonight, and he kisses her before taking off, with her even addressing him as "Mr. Draper" before he leaves. Now that is a secretary who may make it here.
Don arrives home to find Faye about to slip something under his door, and after he neutrally notes that he didn't expect to see her, she explains that she was going to call, but didn't want to "do this" over the phone. Thinking she's talking about breaking up, he somewhat pissily replies, "So you were gonna write it on an envelope," but she declines to, um, address that, instead asking if she can come in. He wordlessly agrees, and then braces himself for the talk, but she shocks him by instead saying she got him a meeting with Heinz. "They're at Ketchum MacLeod and they're restless." He can only bring himself to say her name, so she goes on that she thought about what he said and what he means to her. Only now feeling the guilt over what happened with Megan, he tells her she didn't have to do this, as if backpedaling now wouldn't be completely disingenuous even without the cheating component, but she tells him she wanted to. Damn, I did not want to see her get hurt, although it's possible she never has to know. He asks if she'd like to stay, and the answer is an eager yes, and when he tells her how tired he is, she leads him to the couch and asks him just to sit with her. She leans her head on his chest, and they silently share their compromised feelings as Jim Reeves's "Welcome To My World" most fittingly kicks us to credits. Two more to go!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or get information about his most recent film "East Fifth Bliss," starring Michael C. Hall, at https://twitter.com/eastfifthbliss.
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