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Wow, this was an incredibly bizarre episode, and I honestly am not sure what to make of it or even how to discuss it, but here goes. A cousin of Jane's named Danny, better known as Jonathan from Buffy, cluelessly and horribly interviews for a position in Creative, but Roger wants Don to hire him anyway so he doesn't catch any shade at home. This prompts a flashback to when Roger found Don in that fur shop and picked him up and shook him up and turned him into someone new. Or that's what Roger would like you to believe, but actually, he was buying a fur for Joan when Don discovered that he worked in an ad agency and doggedly pursued him, only to be met with unflagging disinterest.
Back in the present, Don is up for a Clio for the Glo-Coat commercial; at the pre-ceremony, he and Roger get to watch the drunken stylings of Duck Phillips, who's apparently gone back on the sauce with extreme prejudice. Don and SCDP win the award, but he and Roger, while not quite as bombed as Duck, have not exactly been pacing themselves, so when new account Life Cereal shows up after initially being delayed due to weather, Pete wisely tries to postpone the meeting but is overruled by the louder, more inebriated members of the party. Don's presentation devolves into drunken babbling that includes stealing a concept that Danny had pitched to them, but the kicker is that the Life people love it. Peggy, already fuming from her perception that Don has been taking her for granted, is livid at what she sees as another example of him taking all the credit for other people's work, not that she's in a good mood to begin with, since she's having problems working with the new art director, Stan, a total jerk who talks about how uptight she is and calls her "toots," which is probably all you need to know. Well, except for the part when the two of them get naked to brainstorm ideas together, and I don't know how I'm going to explain how this came to pass even in the recap so I'm not even going to try here.
Going back to the awards ceremony, Joan and Pete see Ken with an exec from Bird's Eye, an account I believe Ken used to manage at the old SC. The exec alludes to the old team getting back together, and later, when Pete confronts Pryce, he confirms that Ken is indeed going to be bringing his accounts over to SCDP. Pete is understandably furious, but Pryce seems to mollify him a bit by telling him that he knows Pete's been shouldering all the Accounts work due to the fact that Roger is, for all intents and purposes, a child. However, Pete won't rest easy until he efficiently and awesomely lets Ken know who the boss between them is, and I'm starting to think Pete Campbell getting his name on the door might not have to wait until Season Five.
Don, Roger, and Joan go out to celebrate their win, and Don ends up spending a lost weekend full of cheap booze and cheaper women that's only interrupted by an irate phone call from Betty, who chews him out for flaking on picking up the kids when she and Henry had an important brunch to go to. When Don realizes that he basically doesn't remember anything for the last two days, he…drinks some more, and then Peggy shows up at his door and informs him of what he did in the meeting and orders him to fix it. When Don gets in on Monday, Danny's there waiting for him, and he basically leaves Don little choice but to hire him if he wants to keep his idea. The thing that ties it all together is one last flashback that tells us Roger only hired Don when he was blackout drunk himself, and if this episode is to be believed, Don is following right behind Roger on the path to obscurity. Well, obscurity and cirrhosis, but you already knew that second part.
Want more? The full recap starts right below! With Peggy at his side, Don is flipping through a portfolio of several ads that are all a play on the same idea; for example, Greyhound is described as "the cure for the common bus," while Budweiser is "the cure for the common beer." Aside from the lack of imagination shown in repeating the same concept so many times, I'd think you'd want to avoid linking the word "common" to products such as Budweiser and Greyhound, even if you're doing so to make the point that they're uncommon, because let's be real: They're not. They're common separately and they're common together -- in fact, the last time I rode a Greyhound there was a Budweiser can rolling around on the floor in the most irritating manner. But hey, I didn't mean to drop it.Anyway, the sadly proud author of these, er, "campaigns" is named Danny Siegel, but you may well better know him as Danny Strong, the actor who played the always nerdy, often hilarious, and eventually doomed Jonathan on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and it's been around eight years since I recapped him in that role. Well, if I'm going to be all nostalgic, it's a good thing I picked a flashback episode.
Don basically shows off to Peggy in making fun of Danny, who's too clueless to notice, and Peggy tries to take him seriously in asking if he has any experience, but Danny instead is like "Roger Roger Sterling Roger Sterling Sterling Roger," so we can take the point that he's not exactly here on his own power. Don then notices that Danny has the famous Volkswagen "Lemon" ad in his book, and Danny tells him that everyone loves it, because it's the opposite of what you would expect. "That's what I'm interested in." Well, I will admit that your particular combination of being simultaneously pompous and pathetic is pretty far off the beaten track.
He goes on to ask if they never tear things out of magazines, and Don tells him sure, but he doesn't put them in his book, and at this point even Peggy is having a hard time keeping a straight face, so Danny adopts more of a pleading tone and says he's a "twenty-four-year-old kid," and Peggy saves me the trouble by casting a "He's twenty-four like I'm confirmation age" side-eye Don's way. Danny goes on that he knows he's got a lot to learn, but he's a hard worker and would even sweep up the floors around there. "I don't know if Roger told you that -- did he talk to you?" Sorry, Danny, but Roger was too busy trying to find the cure for the common vodka.
Danny, already starting to get panicked, looks more so when Don confirms that he and Roger did in fact speak, and then Peggy tells him it was really a pleasure to meet him in the tonal equivalent of the music they play at the Oscars when a speech is taking waaaay too long. They stand (oh my God, I forgot how short Danny is; even Peggy is towering over him) and Don wishes him the best of luck, which seems like poor etiquette; Peggy gives him a more standard "We'll let you know" before Danny asks if they know a good place to eat around there. Don, unwilling even to throw him this bone, suggests he ask his secretary on his way out, and after he's left, we hear Miss Blankenship's inimitable voice bark, "I don't work for you!" Heh.
Don asks Peggy if they're on Candid Camera, but I'm guessing from her behavior later in the episode that she doesn't typically worry about such things. Peggy replies that there's no way Danny is twenty-four. "I'm twenty-five!" Heh, cute, although Elisabeth Moss's actual age of twenty-eight is a lot closer to the mark than Danny Strong's thirty-six. After Don explains that Danny is Jane's cousin, Peggy tells Don that it's a relief to see someone worse than she, and given that she's always projected an air of extreme competence, she's obviously fishing for a compliment, which makes Don's amused "Don't get used to it" acceptable in context. Peggy presses on, though, saying that her work has come so far and citing Glo-Coat as an example, but that's not the most positive subject for Don: "You finish something, you find out everyone loves it right around the time it feels like someone else did it." I'm just glad independent film is free of such lengthy timetables.
Not sure how to reply to that, Peggy asks if that's what Don's going to say at the Clios, and when he tells her they don't have speeches, she confidently says they're going to win, and tries to get him to admit he's excited. He does concede that it'd be great for the agency, adding that Grey doubled its value in five years just based on awards, before changing the subject and asking if she's got anything on Vicks. She tells him they're very behind, and relates some horror stories about the new art director, but Don tells her the guy, "Stan Rizzo," is talented and more experienced, so Peggy needs to learn how to work with him, not the other way around. Faced with that recurring disapproval from Don she so hates and yet can't seem to avoid, Peggy wishes him luck that afternoon and exits.
Roger and his fake tan (is it just my TV? He's SO ORANGE!) are expressing his opinion that Charlie Chaplin was too much of a sad sack, but he liked Laurel and Hardy, "except Hardy was so mean to Laurel. I hated that." Aw. All this ruminating is apparently in aid of Roger writing his memoirs, or at least dictating them, as Caroline is jotting down everything he's saying until Don comes in and compliments Roger on the "cute prank" he played with Danny. Roger dismisses Caroline, and then, seeing the drink in Don's hand, says it's a good idea: "I've been to the Clios before. We're gonna want to be prepared." As much as these two use flimsy excuses to support their alcohol abuse, I'm hard pressed to argue that one.
Don gives Roger the blow-by-blow of Danny's disastrous performance, prompting Roger to chuckle, "I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean, I guess!" Hee. The way they guffaw at that one, hilarious as it is, suggests that they're half in the bag already, which seems a little early even for these two, but Don stops laughing when Roger tells him that despite their joking here, he does want Don to hire Danny, otherwise it'll cost him a pretty penny to shut Jane up; I'm paraphrasing, but not by very much. Anyway, Roger drops that issue for now in favor of asking when they're heading out to the awards show, and Don tells him they'll go right after their meeting with Life cereal. Roger raises a glass to new business and to victory at the Waldorf. "You deserve it." They shake hands...
...which fairly seamlessly leads us into a flashback of the first time Roger and Don met in that fur shop. Don tells Roger that he can show him what's popular and what's unique, "and the only thing I ask is that you call me Don." It'd probably sound even more jovial if that were actually your name. Roger, who's got some pepper in with his salt here, tells Don that he doesn't know a lot about furs, although his mother had a chinchilla. "I was always on the verge of a romantic relationship with it." Given that it's Roger we're dealing with, I wonder what stopped him.
Don asks if this fur will be for his mother, and Roger answers, "I bet you never hear that," which isn't exactly a "yes." Don asks if he'd like to throw out a ballpark figure, but Roger isn't sure, adding that he needs to spend a lot without appearing to spend too much, which Don says is hardly a unique problem. Offering an apology if he's being too forward, Don asks if the fur is to say sorry for something, but Roger denies that, "No, no, no. I know exactly how much that costs." Heh. He adds that he needs something that says "I'm getting to know you, but I don't want to scare you," which pretty much puts paid to the idea that it's for his mother even if Don is uncharacteristically naïve, and this to Don means a mink stole, which has the advantage of, you know, being mink, but is always the right size and is a nice way to ease into things. "You can always come back for the rest of it."
Roger, who's hilariously been trying the thing on, suggests they split the difference and go for a waist-length number before catching sight of the store's poster, which has the slogan "Why wait for a man to buy you a fur coat," with a picture of, I do believe, Betty Hofstadt (Draper? Not sure of the timeline here). Roger opines that the copy is "dumb," and asks who does their work, and Don, unfazed by the insult, replies that he does -- he told the owners writing copy was a hobby of his, and they let him try his hand at it. Roger hands Don his card, and Don, encouraged, asks if he can give him a call, but Roger, after telling him that the store needs twenty of the posters to be effective, says he only wants Don to ring for the delivery instructions for the stole. Don takes this in stride...
...and later, Joan, dressed in a sexy little number with loose shoulder-length hair, is calling to him from within their hotel suite that she saw him leave the office with something under his arm. I'm guessing it wasn't a bottle if she's making note of it. Roger emerges from the other room with a large box, and when Joan opens it and puts the mink jacket therein on, she's thrilled, and she certainly seems to have been far less hard-boiled at this age. However, Roger notices something else in the box -- a leather binder, which he opens to find a Noah's Ark-themed sketch for a Play-Doh ad.
Roger does not appreciate Don's opportunism, but quickly forgets about it as Joan, after an obligatory protest about how the gift might be too much, gets amorous; referring to the jacket, she breathes, "When I wear it, I'll think of everything that happened the night I got it." Well, so far he came out with a box, and then...oh, that's not what you were referring to. Carry on, preferably offscreen. Roger then comes back to himself and barks for Caroline to get in there. "I think I finally have a work story!" I hope Caroline gets hardship pay.
Don, Pete, Pryce, Peggy, Harry, and Joey are waiting in the conference room, and Pete yells for Joan before wondering what's keeping her. Joey takes the opportunity to respond, "Life," earning an appreciative chuckle from the more easily amused people in attendance, and then Peggy rather too eagerly asks Don when he has to leave for the ceremony. Harry butts in and says he was late for the Emmys last year, and Red Skelton gave away his seat. Pryce: "I'll surmise due to the usual nature of your stories that's someone of note." Heh. Harry laughs, either because he didn't get it or because he takes being called a starfucker as a compliment, and then Joan comes in with an ice bucket and tells the group the Life contingent has been stranded in Philly due to wind, so they are free to drink until they're due at the Waldorf in an hour.
Peggy asks Pete if Joan is going with the Clio group, and Pete says yes, rather eye-rollingly adding that he only has four tickets. Don, more kindly, explains that there will be a lot of other people's clients there, the implication being that it will be good to have people whose job it is to charm, i.e., Accounts and Joan. Peggy nods, but when Joan asks her if she'd like something, she stomps off, saying she has work to do. Oh, Peggy. Haven't you learned that when you're offered the chance to drink with the bigwigs, you take it?
Cut to a close-up of numerous Ku Klux Klan members and a burning cross, with a voiceover saying that the leader of the Alabama Klan claims their views are the majority in the state. When we pull back we see the images are from a film clip urging people to vote for President Johnson on Election Day, and watching on a screen in one of the offices are Megan, another random secretary, and some douchebag in a leather jacket who crows that "someone" got the clip to Goldwater, and "apparently he pissed blood." Well, that's lovely. Peggy then enters and is like, "This again? Really?" Her attitude is more understandable if you know this is the guy's reel. Speaking of, the douchebag, whom we'll soon learn is the difficult art director Stan, says one of the girls wanted to see the commercial since it never aired, and Peggy replies, "Which makes it less impressive." Well, I guess the editorial commentary suggests she's ready to write some copy.
She kicks the girls out, to Stan's amusement; but when they're gone, the two of them start bickering, with the douchebag saying she hasn't brought him anything that's gotten his "juices flowing," and he doesn't know why she doesn't accept that "man's natural state is nude," and instead of bothering herself I don't know why Peggy doesn't get Joyce down there to advocate for her on that front. Peggy asks Stan if Don's yelled at him yet, and when Stan says Don doesn't scare him, Peggy bites out, "So that's a no." Heh. She says their deadline is Monday and she isn't working this weekend, and Stan at least doesn't tell her she's cute when she's mad, which is probably the best we can expect from him.
At the Waldorf bar, Don's talking to some guy ("Ned Elliott from K&E") who opines that he's lucky the Glo-Coat execs aren't attending. "The minute you win, they know the ad's arty and then you're out of business." Heh. Roger joins them, and after Ned tells them what he's there for, he takes his leave, but no sooner is he gone than Ted Chaough appears to greet "Pebbles and Bam-Bam. Leave any drinks for the rest of us?" Seriously, did they? Chaough introduces his uniformed companion, Major General Something Or Other, and then heads off with a weak comment about how Don and Roger weren't there last year. When they're gone, Roger, continuing to drink like a large-mouthed bass, laughs that the guy in uniform is "General Rufus T. Bullshit" -- Chaough hired an actor to impress someone, and he's seen the guy before in a commercial spot.
Elsewhere, Pete is telling Joan that a "that" we didn't see onscreen was not a business proposition, to which Joan replies, "You catch more flies with honey." Since we have no idea what they're talking about, it seems like the only point of that exchange was to set up Pete's ensuing line of "Oh, look -- actual flies," which, especially since that's a terrible line, is uncharacteristically sloppy work on the part of either the writers or the editor. Anyway, the "flies" he's referring to are Ken and a guy who's apparently part of the Birds Eye family (literally, Pete later says his surname is "Birdseye") who's been with Ken all the way back to SC, and the latter wastes no time in dropping the bomb that he hears the "old team" is getting back together. As Pete shits a brick, Ken is like, "Ixnay, upidstay," but the guy isn't done as he cheerfully offers this about Geyer: They don't have Don.
As the emcee tells everyone to start getting to their seats, Pete's eyes go to serial-killer width as Ken and the client shove off, and when they're gone, Pete asks Joan in a panic if they're merging with Geyer. Joan pointedly tells him to talk to Pryce before heading to the SCDP table, and Pete follows and starts to tell Don about what happened. Don, however, nervously tells him not to talk to him now, and Pete lets it go in time to see the emcee start to be heckled by an unbelievably soused Duck Phillips. And here's one of my problems with this episode -- last time we saw him, Duck was sober once more, relevant -- he's at Grey, remember, and he could have taken Peggy and Pete there -- and kind of loving life, if the way he was rogering Peggy was any indication.
Now, he gets brought back for five seconds to be the biggest boozehound in a room full of them? Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying this doesn't happen all the time in real life, but since he's a minor character past the point of relevance appearing for thirty seconds here just to buttress the Don and Roger alcohol storyline, it feels forced and dramatically unsatisfying, and it could be that they're going for some comedy, but it doesn't really play as funny. I find this ill-advised.
Anyway, Duck gets escorted out, and paying my opinion no mind, Roger laughs to Don that he misses working with that guy, and Don grins in return: "I feel like I've already won." The aged emcee tells the crowd that that will be the limit of the public-speaking portion of their show, which is a nice line but probably wouldn't have held up if Roger didn't end up getting called away. He also suggests everyone pace themselves, and I may not understand humor very well but it seems like that should get even more of a laugh than the line, no?
Stan's throwing pencils into the ceiling, and it's just too bad Joan's not around to see this, because she'd get behind Peggy in this feud right quick, but instead, Peggy can only seethingly ask him why he's even here if he worked on the Johnson campaign. Surprisingly, Stan starts speaking Peggy's language, saying that no one at the agency that did the campaign kept track of who did what, and Peggy gets on board as she says that she had a lot to do with Glo-Coat, especially the original idea, and she doesn't know if the whole "cowboy thing" Don put on it was all that revolutionary. Stan seems content to let her babble for a bit, but she goes on that when the nomination came in, Don let everyone pat him on the back. "I was clapping, and he thought I was clapping for him!" Stan asks, who the hell claps for "themselves," and grammar issues aside, I'm totally with him, which I expect and certainly hope will never happen again.
He laughs at her before standing and saying he's going to "riff" for a bit and "'speechetize' the whole Vicks experience," which is good in that I'm back to wanting to impale him with all those sharpened pencils at once. Peggy's about where I am, as she sarcastically asks if she should come back when he's through, and he calls her "toots" as he suggests she transcribe what he says instead. "Someone's gonna want to get it down before it lifts off into the stratosphere." At the rate you're going, you'll still be attached to them when they get there. Anyway, they're sick of each other and at this point, I kind of agree with both of them...
...so let's head back to the ceremony, where the "Best Cleansers, Waxes, and Polishes" category is up, and if the ad categories are that specific I can indeed see why people get so wasted at these things. (Actually, Roger did mention that there were almost fifty categories. Shudder.) As the nominees are announced, Roger squeezes Joan's hand under the table, and then when Don asks Joan how he looks, Joan gives him an appraising look that goes on just a little too long, if you ask me, before telling him, "Great." Joan! Is your husband even on the plane yet? And if so, what happened to my party invitation? Don takes her other hand, and then when Glo-Coat wins, gives her a kiss on the lips before heading up and grabbing the award.
They play the ad, and we don't get to see all of it but it looks like the apparently controversial part was that the housewife in it seemed to be keeping her cowboy-dressed son in some sort of makeshift "jail" made of chairs in the kitchen until the floor got clean. I'm sure it would make more sense if I could hear the dialogue over the applause, but I don't really care and besides, Megan shows up and breathlessly tells them that the Life people ended up renting a car and driving up from Philly, and they're at the SCDP offices as they speak. Pete says they can reschedule, but Don's too drunk on booze and awards to listen to this prudent suggestion and says they should "put a cherry on this thing," and Roger backs him up. Pete's like, "This is the worst idea I've ever heard, to the point where I literally cannot conceive of even a tenth of the ways this could result in murder and destruction." Well, he actually only asks, "Really?" but the look on his face pretty much conveys all the other stuff.
Back in the SCDP conference room, Harry is regaling the conference room with booze and spoilers about Peyton Place, and it is hilarious when one of the Life execs and Pryce clutch their pearls at an upcoming development, but just then the Clio contingent returns, and Don's BAC has clearly continued to rise even though he's taken a short break from boozing. Actually, I shouldn't assume that part; I wouldn't put it past him to have scored a to-go cup off a Waldorf bartender.
Before he leaves the group alone, Roger leads some of the group in a victory lap around the table with the Clio in hand, to Pete's unflagging consternation, and then everyone has a seat as Don drunkenly asks Joey if he started without him, and Joey, hilariously terrified, is like, "No, Don. I would not do that." Don then cuts Joey out entirely as he starts his pitch (BOO!), and he's on the verge of slurring the whole time, but despite some allusions to nostalgia that are reminiscent of his presentation in "The Wheel," only far more mangled, he does hold it together long enough to get to the concept, which is designed to make the idea of eating Life fun: A picture of a kid eating an oversize bowl of the stuff, with the tagline "Eat Life By The Bowlful." He explains the appeal of the ads to both kids and moms, and it's actually quite logical, but after Harry suggests they could design an entire TV show around the Quaker Oats family, one of the Life execs says he likes the pitch, but he's concerned the irony might be "a little smart for regular folks."
Don and the guy, who seems well on his way to a Lost Weekend of his own, debate the issue a little, and then Pete suggests they "let Don work that over," and that just made the image of Don punching the posterboard while shining a bright light on it pop into my head, so thanks, Pete. Don, however, tells Pete he's got it, and Pete seriously looks like he'd rather eat an oversize bowl of manure than let Don continue, but he can't really stop him now, which is a shame, because Don, whose hair is tellingly getting out of control, rather excruciatingly starts pitching ideas that would get laughed out of even the mailroom.
Actually, only some of them are completely without merit, but that's beside the point, as one of them is plagiarized -- "Life: The Cure For The Common Breakfast." Unfortunately, that's the one the execs seize on, and Don's apparently so drunk at this point that he doesn't realize there's anything wrong, which means Peggy is the only one who can smell the giant turd in the room. No wonder no one thinks she's any fun.
With the Life people conquered, Don heads out so he and Roger can go to the Clio afterparty, but as he gets his coat from Miss Blankenship, Peggy catches him and tells him she really needs to talk to him. Don, however, is more concerned with the fact that they have nothing on Vicks yet, and tells Miss Blankenship to "book a nice room with a lock on it" for Peggy and Stan and bill it to Vicks. He bails, and Miss Blankenship asks Peggy where she'd like to do this thing. Peggy says Don wasn't serious, but Miss Blankenship is like, "What are you basing that on?" before telling her to go get Stan. Peggy then tries to go to Pryce for help, but Pete gets there first and he and Pryce enter the latter's office...
...wherein Pete asks if they're merging with Geyer. Come on, Pete, use your brain. Ken didn't sound like he was happy there, did he? Anyway, Pryce, who's apparently a Mets fan from the banner on his wall, denies it's true, but when Pete tells him about his little run-in at the Clios, Pryce rubs his eyes in his signature way before confessing that "it came to" him that Ken was unhappy (I'm guessing blabbermouth Harry was responsible) at Geyer, and that he and his choice clients would be a welcome addition to SCDP. Pete literally is like, "Over my dead body," so Pryce stands and removes his glasses to show sincerity or respect or something and apologizes, saying he didn't mean to insult him.
Pete, however, is having none of it, saying he's a partner, dammit, and adding that he knows Pryce never liked him, reminding him that Pryce picked Ken over him, and now he wants Pete to work with him again? "Approval denied." That kind of overly pithy, internet-y talk may be anachronistic, but I don't care: HA!
However, Pryce interrupts Pete's storm-out by grabbing his arm and (faux?-)reluctantly telling him that Roger is a child, and they can't have Pete pulling the Accounts cart all by himself. Pete still looks skeptical, but Pryce tells him that Ken is proven, hungry, and laden with accounts, and asks if that puts him at ease. Pete: "What would put me at ease is you and Madame Defarge not plotting behind my back!" It seems like the only female candidate for Madame Defarge is Joan, especially since she's the one that told Pete to talk to Pryce, but I think the comparison fits Bertram a lot better. Even if you don't agree, I hope you won't begrudge me the mental picture of him knitting pernicious things up in his office.
Pete again tries to leave, but Pryce tells him he expects pragmatism from him, saying that the two of them share that. He goes on to invite Pete to lunch with him and Ken on Monday, "and on a personal note, I'd like to add that I am quite fond of you. It pains me to hear you say otherwise." Pete looks like he's honestly flummoxed at that one, and given the day he's had I don't blame him for heading home one bit.
In the bar, Roger, Don, and Joan are whooping it up (well, to varying degrees) when that "Major General" happens by with some girl on his arm, and after some inconsequential drunken happenings, Don sees Faye and grabs her away from the guy to whom she's talking, which she doesn't particularly appreciate, as she was apparently working the guy for his business, and I guess it makes sense that she'd be here if she knew that the Clio attendees would be stopping by. She happily speculates that they're going to put Don's picture on a dartboard at Grey, and he wonders why they care, as awards don't make the work any better. She smiles: "Award or no award, you're still Don Draper." Okay, but who is he with a 3.5 blood-alcohol content?
Not realizing just how on to his shtick she is, he's like, "Whatever that means," and she tells him he's incredible, which she pretty clearly means not in the sense that he's extraordinary but that he's unbelievable, not all in the good way. I mean, I think she has a real affinity for him, but unlike so many of the women we've seen fall into bed with him, she has a grounded self-respect that would never allow her to go for him when he's like this. Regardless, he tells her she smells good, and, losing patience for his drunken flirting, her smiles fades, but he's oblivious to any barriers, and suggests they get out of there "and really celebrate." Probably because of the affinity to which I alluded, she forces a smile as she opines that he's confusing a lot of things at once at the moment, but she's very happy for him. She straightens his tie in a small gesture of affection before heading out, and I don't know when I got to like her quite this much, but if he treats her disrespectfully I think Don Draper and I may be done. Of course, he could always go on to the name.
Stan and Peggy have actually gone ahead and checked into a hotel, and Stan is on the bed reading a Playboy while Peggy's at the desk working. Seeing her with the phone to her ear, he asks if she's reporting in to Don, and needles her about the "special relationship" he knows they share. Taking the bait yet again, she asks what that means, and he guffaws that he didn't mean that, as Don wouldn't be caught dead with her. "There's wallpaper more exciting. But I know you're his favorite. I bet he takes you hunting and lets you carry the carcasses in your mouth." Considering that Don's favorite hunting prey is women, Stan's metaphor leads to some interesting imagery indeed, but Peggy merely asks him if he's going to work, "or stare at pictures of women who can't stare back." He lobs back some bullshit about how doing so frees his mind, and finally, we get to the good stuff, as when she asks him why he isn't a nudist, he says he would be in a "liberated environment," but in front of her, it's difficult, as she's ashamed of her body, "or you should be, at least."
And here's where things get awesome, as Peggy gets to her feet and removes her top and skirt as she tells him he's lazy and has no ideas, so why not get to it? He calls her a fruitcake, but she volleys back that he's "chickenshit. I can work like this. Let's get liberated." I'd probably complain about the fact that it's a little manipulative to make Stan quite this much of a cartoonish jerk, thus making Peggy's victory that much sweeter for the viewer, but the fact that I pumped my fists in the air for a full minute suggests that such license was worth it.
Stan is game at first, gladly getting down to his underwear, but when Peggy goes buck (tastefully blocked by the typewriter and the fact that she's sitting down) you can practically hear the blood leaving his brain, not that it had that much to do up there to begin with. She interrupts his Homer Simpson-esque staring by asking what he's waiting for, and he does take off his underwear, demurely sitting as he does, though, and basic cable or no, you're not exactly coming off as the stud you claim to be, guy. She asks what he's got on cough drops, and when he replies that he's thinking, she leans forward and takes a good look: "About what?" He protests too much by saying it's "involuntary" and "left over from the magazine," but when she starts talking about the product, he focuses in on her chest and crosses his legs, and I'll make the obvious point: If she should be ashamed of her body, what does it say about you that you're pointing skyward at the moment?
Back in the bar, Don is clearly, to use a scientific term, piss-ass drunk, while Joan, for her part, looks bored with Roger's incessant boozing, although he doesn't seem quite into "Lishen, lishen, lishen" territory as Don. Some bimbo with a tacky necklace then interrupts to ask if that's Don Draper over there and if he's available, and Joan's basically like, "Knock yourself out, honey." The bimbo goes to reel in her drunken catch, leaving Roger to complain about how no one gives awards for what he does, which is to "find guys like him."
I have to say, this episode really is not doing it for me with this storyline. Given what we learn later, I find it difficult to believe that Roger (a) would stick to this story when under the influence of so much booze, which usually makes people more inclined to tell the truth, and (b) would present something he knows to be, if not an outright lie, at least a half-truth, to the person he values and respects probably more than anyone else in the world.
I mean, I'm not offended or anything, but much like I felt about "The Rejected," I think the show is trying too hard here to make a thematic point at the expense of character consistency, when it usually marries the two so gracefully as to seem like it isn't even trying. This is a challenge for any show that's been around a while, though -- the more established the characters are with the viewers, the tougher it is to keep them behaving in a believable way and still tell new stories and investigate interesting themes such as ambition, awards, and the relationship between the two. Anyway, Joan informs Roger that he's "crossed the border from lubricated to morose," and bids him goodnight. He watches her go, and then looks down the bar at Don and the giggling bimbo...
...before being tossed into another flashback, with Don greeting him in the lobby of the old SC. Roger seems not to recognize him until Don mentions the store, to which Roger sighs, "Oh. The fur guy." He asks what Don's doing there, and Don tells him he has a meeting, to which Roger replies, "Name one other company in this building." Heh. Good one, Sterling, but now that we know, I wish we'd been treated to footage of Don hiding behind a newspaper in the lobby and wondering why the hell Roger gets in so late. Don, busted, says he just wanted to stop by since Roger didn't reply to any of his messages, and Roger tells him, "That's my message for you."
Another instance that rings false to me -- even if he finds Don's behavior presumptuous, which I don't find particularly in character to begin with, I find it tough to believe that Roger would gratuitously be so dickish -- I don't think you can have an Accounts mentality and burn bridges, even ones you think go nowhere, not to mention the fact that he's always seemed to have a fairly egalitarian attitude toward other servicemen types. I'm sure I'm in the minority -- really, how could I not be with a negative opinion -- but sometimes an episode just does not click for me, and this seems to be one of those thankfully-rare instances.
Anyway, Don asks if Roger never needed a break, and Roger, who seemingly has been handed most things in life, finally softens a bit as he asks where Don's employer thinks he is. Don answers by telling him that his boss knows he wants to do what Roger does, and adds that he thinks Roger is "a very important man in a very important agency." Do your research, Don. Don adds that sure, he's risking his job, but he'd love to buy Roger a drink and hear any wisdom he has to offer. Roger tells him it's 10 AM...
...and then there's a predictable, yet still hilarious, smash cut to the two of them getting drinks in a restaurant. I certainly have my issues with the episode, but I do appreciate how it emphasizes one particular point that the show has done a good job of consistently driving home, and that is how Don and Roger are terrible influences on each other. Roger is still not sold on the idea of hiring Don, especially with him having been privy to his illicit fur buying, and says he wants to get out of there before the lunch rush. "It's embarrassing." I think he's referring to drinking in the morning, but the fact that he needs to lean on Don's shoulder to steady himself certainly qualifies as well. Still, he can't be falling-down drunk -- he's a pro, and they can't have been at this more than an hour and a half, no? They head out to put Roger in a cab...
...and then we rejoin Peggy and Stan. Peggy runs through some ideas, and then, noticing that Stan's staring at the ceiling, gets his attention before saying that her pencil is a little dull. Leaning forward, she playfully offers, "Maybe I should dip that thing in some ink and write with it." That'd make for an interesting Confession, I'd say. Stan whines for her to stop looking, but she won't, and after she wins their ensuing staring contest, he puts his pants back on while calling her "the smuggest bitch in the world." What a day -- not only did she get the better of him, she finally won an award of her own! Stan goes to use the bathroom, and as she triumphantly puts her bra back on, she calls to "Rizzo" that she's hungry. "Do you want anything?" A Little Stan that will do as he's told?
Don's in bed with the bimbo, who apparently wrote the jingle on the Clio winner for cake mixes and toppings. He asks her to hum a few bars, and she obliges, but it's exactly the music for "The Star-Spangled Banner," and once again, if the show's trying to throw in another comment about plagiarism it is way overdone, because who wouldn't recognize that? This whole episode just feels like a bridge too far, and even Don in his wasted state offers that it "sounds familiar," but he's soon distracted by something else the woman does with her mouth, in the Down There area, which seems from his reaction to be an unfamiliar experience. You'd think he would have had his dick sucked at some point, given how many people have kissed his ass over the years. On the other hand, this skill could explain how the woman got everyone to look the other way at her obvious plagiarism.
Don closes his eyes in enjoyment, or possibly sleep, because before we know it, night has faded into day, and the phone inconsiderately wakes Don. He picks up the receiver and mumbles into it, and it's Betty, full of righteous rage about the fact that she and Henry have an important brunch and it's noon and he was supposed to be there two hours earlier. Don sits up and says he's coming on Sunday, to which Betty replies -- say it with me -- "It IS Sunday!" Don takes a moment for the shock of that to sink in, and apologizes, saying he's under the weather, but as true as that is, Betty doesn't want to hear it and hangs up on him.
As if that weren't bad enough, Don sees that the woman in his bed is not the Clio woman but some, apparently from the telltale uniform on his bureau, diner waitress, who tells Don he promised to take her picture, "somewhere around your third order of French fries, after your sister left." Well, I guess it's good he ate something this weekend. Also, she calls him "Dick," and it seems extreme for Don to slip up on the lie he holds on to more closely than anything, but I could live with it if it didn't make the lie Roger perpetuated to Joan under the influence seem even more difficult to buy.
Don tells "Doris," who Joan Of Arcadia fans like me might recognize as Becky Wahlstrom, who played Grace, that he has some things to do he forgot about, and heads off to take a shower, but, probably feeling especially chastened by how royally he's embarrassed himself, tells her he had a good time and apologizes for forgetting he had plans. He then locks himself in the bathroom, turns on the water, and leans back in some despair, although I have to say it's hard to see an image of Jon Hamm in nothing but his boxers as particularly bleak. From offscreen, Doris calls that she guesses she'll see him around, and I normally hate it when TV characters talk to themselves but I would have forgiven Don mumbling, "Not if I see you first."
Sometime later, Don pours himself a shot of rye, which seriously makes me shiver, but we don't see him drink any as he instead flops back on the couch in just his open robe and boxers. This time, day gives way to night, and once it's dark, there's an urgent knock on the door that wakes Don up. He answers the door, and it's Peggy, who asks if he's okay, as she tried to call him several times over the weekend. He claims his phone isn't working, and despite his haggard appearance and the fact that he probably smells like Canadian Club's bottling plant, she asks to come in, and he obliges.
Once inside, she tells him he won't want to hear this, but the Life cereal tag he sold belonged to "Roger's idiot." Don has no idea what she's talking about, and Peggy, who by the way is wearing the same outfit she had on Friday night, which means she stuck it out in the hotel all weekend, sidesteps any discussion of the fact that he doesn't remember the meeting, instead saying she's gotten stuff stuck in her head before and couldn't remember where it came from. "It's that kid's." Don suggests she call Life and tell them it's terrible, but she informs him that they loved it, and when he reiterates that it's terrible, she replies, "Well, neither you nor the client was in a condition to notice." Sassy, but eminently deserved, and speaking of conditions, it's not like Don's in one at the moment to argue.
He tells her to think of ten more tags, but Peggy tells him to shove it, as she's been holed up in a hotel room working with "that pig" all weekend, and as such is tapped out. He asks what she's talking about with the hotel room, and I think Peggy should be canonized for not immediately stabbing him through the eye with a fireplace poker, but she shakes off her annoyance at the confirmation of her suspicion that she was in that hotel room for nothing and tells him he needs to fix things by bringing Danny in the very day. He uncharacteristically bows his head in defeat, and Peggy stands tall for a moment before leaving him without any softening of the blow. I recall some time ago joking that he'd be fetching her coffee someday, but it doesn't seem quite so crazy now.
Right before we go back to the action, we get a card congratulating the show on the award for Best Drama, like, THANKS FOR SPOILING THE EMMYS, AMC. I mean, not that I personally gave a crap about knowing, but you couldn't have waited at least until the rebroadcast?
Pryce comes in to see Pete and tells him Ken's on his way over, and Pete, in a tone that will brook no dissent, tells Pryce to have Ken meet him in the conference room when he arrives. Pryce looks a bit taken aback, but he certainly owes Pete that much, so he leaves without another word.
Apparently, Peggy finally got Stan to, you know, draw something, and he's explaining the sketch to Joey, who approves of the concept. Stan tells him what he sees is pretty much how he pitched it, and Peggy agrees, saying she "just changed one...little thing," complete with thumb and forefinger as visual aids, and Stan looks like he's going to vomit, but at least he refrains from crossing his legs, while Joey looks back and forth between them like he's almost got half a handle on what Peggy's talking about here. Figure it out, kid! It's hilarious!
Don arrives and immediately tells Miss Blankenship to call "the Pen and Pencil" and ask if anyone found "his" award, and when Miss Blankenship asks what category, Don snits, "Best Actress. It's a Clio." Dude, not that I'm for giving Miss Blankenship a competency award, but didn't we just learn that there are, like, a million billion categories? Not to mention the fact, as I think she was implying, that Don's probably not the only one who was boozed up enough to leave the thing behind. Anyway, Miss Blankenship's face is just like, "Whatever, Drunk-Ass," and then Don heads into his office...
...only to find Danny already there, as "they" apparently told him to wait inside. Miss Blankenship gets her revenge by buzzing and saying Don's "little friend" is waiting, and Don rolls his eyes but closes the door and tries to buy the "The cure for the common [fill in the blank]" idea from him for fifty bucks. Danny, however, is a tougher customer than you might expect, and sticks to his demand of a job even when Don first ups the offer to a hundred and then tells Danny he could just go ahead and use the idea without paying him at all. Danny doesn't even dignify that last bit with an answer, as clear a bluff as it is, so Don tries to tell him that he wouldn't even have made it into the room if it weren't for Roger, but Danny tells him he knows that all too well. "That's all I have. That, and my ideas." Don looks really regretful that he's having this conversation without benefit of coffee. Here's a tip: On the days you have to clean up steaming messes of your own making, GET IN EARLY! I mean, you think I'm joking, but Ken is on his way there now for LUNCH!
Speaking of, Pete is waiting in the conference room when Pryce shows Ken in, who's all wide-eyed enthusiasm about the new digs. Pete summarily dismisses Pryce and then wordlessly beckons Ken into a chair before telling him that he's given things a lot of thought, and if Ken is open to the direction in which he's taking the Accounts department, he'd be a great addition to Pete's team. Ken asks what that's supposed to mean, and it's not like we know exactly what he was expecting, but I think he was probably figuring that, given that Ken became his superior before SC fell apart, Pete would be happy with them at least being on equal footing. Pete, calm as calm can be, informs Ken that things have changed in a permanent way, and Ken tries for a mixture of bravado and camaraderie and he opines that nothing has changed.
Pete could point out that he's the one that took the real risk by bringing his accounts to a start-up and that he's been the one behind almost all their new business of late, but he doesn't bother with such obvious and insecure protests: "Look, Ken. Everyone here likes you. But this is a small shop, and I need to know you can do as you're told." Ken's smile fades in shock at how much Pete Campbell has changed, not to mention the realization that he's not likely to get ahead of him anytime soon, but he's nothing if not adaptable, and he recovers to nod his agreement. Now that they understand each other, Pete leans back, puts his hands behind his head, and asks how the wedding plans are going. And since AMC is so keen on reminding us about the Emmys, let me say this: Vincent Kartheiser, year. I mean it.
Don and Danny emerge from the former's office, and Don barks for Peggy to take Danny over to Joan, as he'll start the Monday. Peggy: "Are you kidding?" Well, I think Danny's beyond taking offense to anything at this point. Don can't take being in Danny's presence one second longer, which I suppose means Danny is Miss Blankenship Number Two in the sense that he's only there because Don screwed up and will irritate him no end as a result. Peggy sees Ken still chatting with Pete in the conference room and heads in to greet him warmly, leaving Danny to wait awkwardly out in front of Miss Blankenship's station. You should like her, Danny -- she's definitely The Cure For The Common Secretary.
Roger's back dictating his memoirs, this time using a tape recorder, and he clearly and kind of sadly has nothing of any importance to say, so it's just as well that Don comes in and tells him he hired Danny. Roger asks what changed his mind, and Don tells him, "Couldn't live without him." Thank God he sounds like he's being sarcastic, because if he honestly tried to sell the idea that he realized Danny's talented the grade on this episode would suffer even more. Roger produces Don's Clio and tells him he left it at the bar, and you can make your excuses about stolen taglines and forgotten children and coffee-shop tricks, but when Roger Sterling is cleaning up after you, it's time for you to take a good hard look at yourself.
Roger then tells Don he'll give it back if Don will say one thing -- he couldn't have done it without him, and I just find it so bizarre that Roger is so insistent on calling attention to something that happened in exactly the opposite way he's claiming, especially to the one person besides him who actually knows that. I mean, if they were both cynically winking to each other about it, tacitly acknowledging that Roger essentially had nothing to do with hiring Don other than being bombed, it would make sense, but Don seems genuinely chastened at being told he didn't acknowledge Roger, while Roger's been an open wound about the entire thing this whole episode. Anyway, as I indicated, after Roger watches Don head back to Danny (oh, the parallels!), we head into one last flashback...
...in which Don once again finds Roger in the lobby. Roger says to leave him alone, but Don tells him he hired him yesterday -- he apparently said, "Welcome aboard." Roger takes a look at him, and then the two of them wordlessly get on the elevator. Don gives Roger an ambiguous side-eye before the elevator doors close, and we're out. In response to the recaplet, I received some emails from people who thought Don's expression indicated that he made the whole job offer up, taking advantage of Roger's drunkenness, but I didn't read it that way, and I don't think that really makes sense given how hard the episode has been trying to compare Don's and Roger's screw-ups -- Don really did steal Danny's idea, so it seems logical from a structural standpoint that Roger actually did make this offer to Don off-screen. Also, it would be pretty brazen of Don to skip work again if there was any doubt in his mind that he was going to work for SC, and if Roger didn't say the words I don't know how he could be even remotely sure that this ploy would work no matter how much Roger might have been slurring. Still, if you told me you knew for sure it was intended to be the other way, I wouldn't be shocked, so please don't email me about it.
On a different note, I'm still not sure I buy Roger being so embarrassed about not remembering making the offer that he'd give Don a job when he'd gone out of his way to show us how much he loathes him -- it's not like the Danny situation, where Danny could really raise a legal stink and also make trouble for Roger with Jane. And while I'm at it, I just find it so odd that one of the grand points of this episode seems to be that Don has become lazy and shiftless, accepting accolades while people under him do the real work, when in The Chrysanthemum And The Sword, just one episode ago, he was the hero of the Honda situation. And let's be clear: He didn't just come up with the plan that saved them with Honda, a situation that was Roger's doing, but he was the only one who even tried to do anything about it or could even be bothered to read the damn book. Maybe the weird placement was a consequence of airing the episode against the Emmys, which is another self-conscious choice that didn't work for me. But that's this episode for you. See you time.
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. You can email him at couchbaron@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron and https://twitter.com/eastfifthbliss.
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