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Wow, a totally action-packed, topsy-turvy, and, despite some big emotional hits, surprisingly fun episode to end the season. But the somber part first: Betty tells Don she's made an appointment with a divorce attorney, and even though Don condescends to her, she stands firm. However, when she and Henry consult said attorney, he tells them New York State is a bear in these matters, so they should go to Nevada for six weeks to establish residency so she can get a quickie divorce. Henry tells Betty he wants her free from any obligations to Don, so they plan to follow the lawyer's advice, but a wrench is thrown into the works when Roger, newly-reconciled with Don, tells him about Betty's involvement with Francis, which he heard about via Margaret. Don then drunkenly confronts Betty, and they have an awful fight, with ugly yet valid points on each side, that ends in her kicking him out of the house. Before he leaves, however, they give the kids the much-dreaded news that Don's moving out, and it's devastatingly horrible all around. In the end, Don tells Betty he's not going to fight her about the split, and that he hopes she gets what she's always wanted. She tells him in turn that he'll always be the kids' father, and they say goodbye and seem to really mean it.
Now, the good stuff. Hilton informs Don that McCann Erickson, the firm that Don turned down back in Season One, is going to be buying PPL, and while Roger might survive and Don definitely will, Bertram will definitely be thrown out as part of the deal. Don flashes back to when he was a child and his father busted out of a farming cooperative he was in, and the memory prompts him to go to Bertram and beg him to try to do something to save their independence. Bertram tells Don that Roger will most definitely be needed for any potential save of SC, so the three of them bark at each other for a while until Don kind of apologizes to Roger for the way he's treated him and Bertram adds that Roger will die if he doesn't join them (not being figurative about that, either). The three of them call Pryce in and tell him they want to buy the company back for a modest premium over the original purchase price, but Pryce tells them while SC is being sold, PPL is not, and the offer they're making is insufficient. However, not surprisingly, Hilton's information proves the more reliable, as when Pryce tells Powell about the little meeting, he learns not only that PPL is indeed being sold, but that he can expect to be farmed out to McCann as part of the deal. Don then calls Bertram, Roger, and Pryce in and comes up with a brilliant idea -- since Pryce has ultimate authority over personnel matters, he can fire all the principals, after which he'll no doubt be released, upon which point he'll be made a partner in the new order. But while Pryce thinks getting them out could be done, he points out that they'll still need accounts to survive, so the four conspirators close the office on Friday the thirteenth and send a memo to London just after British close of business, giving themselves the weekend to steal enough accounts to support the new entity. Don recruits Peggy for the new agency, but he's a dick to her, as he has been the whole season, so she turns him down. He and Roger then go to see Pete, who's faking being sick because he had an interview with Ogilvy that day, and give him the news. Roger tells him they need him, but Pete wants to hear the reason why from Don, so Don tells him, truthfully, that Pete has been ahead of them on a lot of fronts -- aeronautics and "the Negro market" being two prominent examples -- and they need him to keep them looking forward. When Pete asks for partnership and Don accepts with the condition that he deliver the new accounts by Sunday, the race is on. The partners also ask Harry to come with them, and after Bertram literally and hilariously threatens to lock him in the closet if he doesn't accept, Don then goes to Peggy and atones for his earlier behavior, even admitting that he's seen her as an extension of himself before telling her, basically, that she's a visionary, which parallels what he told Pete and backs up Duck's point that Pete and Peggy have some sort of consciousness of kind. Peggy's sold, and the team is rounded out when Roger calls Joan in for help on pulling off the account-stealing coup as stealthily and efficiently as possible. They cart all the files they need out under cover of the night, and just like that, we'll never see this bunch at SC again, much to the chagrin of those they didn't take. I'm guessing that means Ken and Paul are being written off, and it's not like I wouldn't miss them but given how little action they've had this season it wouldn't be a huge surprise. The new company will need an art director, though! Pryce immediately follows the partners out the door when Powell fires him first thing Monday morning, and Joan thereafter sets up the new office of "Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce" in a suite in the Pierre. In the end, Don smiles at his new family, and after we see Carla taking care of the kids and Betty and Francis flying out to Nevada, Don moves into a new apartment in the city, on his own but not, as he feared, alone. And while I could use a little break from recapping, a year is still too long to wait for another season.
Want more? The full recap starts right below! One quick thing before I start -- when Harry turned down the TV set last week, I missed a card announcing a special report on the TV. So CBS was on top of things after all, and I'm sorry for making fun of them unjustly. Especially since without them we wouldn't have How I Met Your Mother.Okay. Wow! What an unexpectedly action-packed and fun finale, in a season that's been fairly short on both. Hold on to something -- here we go.
Don awakens, and after he fumbles with the clock that apparently didn't go off at the hour he wanted, we see that he's sleeping in Baby Gene's room. And while his plight certainly isn't funny on the merits, especially with his smoking cough having resurfaced, the polka dots on the table lamp in the room are, and wherever Grandpa Gene is now, I'm sure he agrees with me.
Cut to Don meeting Connie in a suite in the Waldorf, and Connie, not one for mincing words at the best of times, tells Don he has news -- he was at McCann Erickson the day and learned that effective New Year's Day, they're buying Putnam, Powell, and Lowe, which means he's going to have to move his New York properties' advertising concerns elsewhere, as SC will become part of McCann in the deal. Don, at a bit of a loss, muses that they'll all be going, but Hilton tells him that while Roger's fate is uncertain, Bertram will definitely "be put on an ice floe." And while Bertram probably wouldn't be thrilled to hear his fate, I'm sure he'd at least appreciate the metaphor. Connie tells Don that as a "prize pig," though, he'll make more money and be secure, but Don snaps that the place is a "sausage factory," and reminds us that he turned them down three years ago. Connie wearily says it's just business, but Don doesn't play that tune, icily noting that Connie just comes and goes as he pleases without regard for what it means for him, and it's not like he doesn't have a point, given all that crap Connie spouted about Don being a son to him, but it's still pretty hilarious that Don "One Way Ticket Out Of Here" Draper is taking someone to task for his commitment issues. Connie, a little stung at Don's sarcastic ridiculing of the fatherly role he played, leans forward and says he got everything he has on his own. "It's made me immune to those who complain and cry because they can't." He adds that he didn't take Don for one of them: "Are you?" Since you're out of the episode from here, Connie, I'd invite you to sit back and watch for your answer. They get to their feet and shake hands rather neutrally, and after Connie offers that some other time, they'll try again, Don agrees and heads out. So... still in the will, then?
Don enters SC and takes a long, contemplative look around the main area. He sees a secretary remove a piece of paper from her typewriter and crumple it up...
...which throws him into a memory of his father doing likewise. Instead of an unruly typewriter as the impetus, however, Archie is peeved that he and his fellow farm cooperative members, who are all seated around the Whitman kitchen table, are getting screwed on the price their grain will fetch this year. As Dick, who looks eight to ten, watches, Archie tells the lot of them that he's got a silo, and he'll simply store his grain until winter, when the price goes back up. He bails on the cooperative before kicking the members out of his kitchen, and instead of being surprised I'm sure everyone's wondering how he lasted this long. We focus on young Dick filing this one away in the part of his brain that stores Memories That Will Someday Make Good Flashbacks...
...and then Don purposefully strides in a direction away from his office...
...and sometime later, Don comes in to see Bertram, who wonders what's so urgent that he had to be woken up. Heh. Don gives him the news, and Bertram is like, "Oh," with a tone that suggests he's resigned to his fate. I'd suggest at least bringing something warm to sit on, though. Don, however, suggests that they buy SC back from PPL, which leads to a fight about risk and old men and it's wee-acted as always but I'm distracted, because seriously: Can Roger really afford to pony up his share after Mona took him for a king's ransom? Although I suppose the sale came through after he told her he was leaving, so maybe it's a non-issue. Anyway, Bertram asks why Don cares so much, and he tells him that since his marriage is ending, the one part of Don Draper he still can hang onto is his job and...oh, no, what he actually says is that he's "sick of being batted around like a Ping-Pong ball. I want to work -- I want to build something of my own. How do you not understand that?" Bertram does, but suggests that Don may not have the stomach for the attendant realities. But I think what Bertram doesn't realize is that Betty's comment about Don not understanding money cuts both ways -- his inability to know how to be rich means he doesn't fear not being rich, if that makes sense, so the Dick Whitman in him is like, "Try me." Bertram says they'll need accounts, and while American Tobacco would go a long way, "that's Roger." Don shifts uncomfortably at the idea of pulling Roger into their scheme but manages to stay calm for the moment, but when Bertram learns how much time they have, he says they have to talk to Roger now. Don's like, "You talk to him," but Bertram throws it back in his face: "Do you want to do this or not?" Time to employ whatever sucking-up skills you've got, Don. If it makes you feel any better about it, it's not the only time in this episode you'll need them.
Cut to Bertram and Don entering Roger's office, giving the last a much-welcomed excuse to get off the phone with his wife. Upon hearing the news, Roger's like, "From one john's bed to the . What a joke!" Well, at least the price has been right. Bertram advances the idea of buying the company back, but Roger, looking askance at Don, offers, "And now you're sniffing around because I have a golden pork chop dangling from my neck." Heh. Don says it's more than that, and tries to point out that Bertram's done for should they go to McCann, but Roger's like, oh please, you're not doing this for Bertram. "I want to see what you look like with your tail between your legs." He should have been around the Draper household two episodes ago. Bertram, however, isn't interested in silently waiting to see if he's going to be collateral damage in Don and Roger's petty war: "You sold your birthright so you could marry that trollop!" Not wrong by any stretch, but it's hard to disagree with Roger when he replies that their pitch could use some work. Although I could listen to Robert Morse say "trollop" all day and night.
Roger adds that he's not giving up the fortune he got just because Don doesn't want to work at McCann, and when Don asks if he actually wants to go there, he snits that they don't value his work any less that Don does. Don, however, is ready to eat some humble pie, saying that he learned from his experience with Connie that he was wrong -- he can sell ideas, but he's not an Accounts man. He adds that he values his relationship with Roger, but while you can see that those are words Roger's been dying to hear even as he tries to denigrate the sincerity of same, he still says that he's fine with being deemed redundant if that's what's in the cards. "There's a deck chair somewhere with my name on it." And an astronomical bar tab as well. Bertram, however, shows that he's come to play as he takes it to another level, saying that if Roger's lost his appetite he should retire and just play golf, and it happens to people all the time. However, he adds the words, "in three years," and then trails off with hilariously wide eyes while pointing to the ground, and Robert Morse is always brilliant but he's a tour de force in this episode. Also, it's kind of wicked to use death as a motivator to a man who's already suffered one heart attack, which is probably why I like the approach so much. Roger's like, that's your pitch? "Join or die?" It's a step up from calling your wife a tart, don't you think? Don urgently tells Roger they have to try, and finally Roger cuts him a break: "So you do want to be in advertising after all." That's one, Don. You've got a lot of work left, though, and I hope you won't mind me making some popcorn for it.
We hear Christmas music as the kids are in front of the TV with Betty sitting at the kitchen table when Don arrives home. Betty sends the children upstairs immediately, and Don asks, "You want me to go too?" Get those in while you can. Betty doesn't respond, instead getting Don to join her and telling him that she's made an appointment with a divorce attorney, and suggesting he do the same. An expression of shock appears on Don's face for a moment, but he shrugs it off and tries to condescend to her, which is not his best approach in my opinion. He suggests she see a shrink again, as she's had a tough couple of weeks, but she's way past being trifled with at this point: "I've had a tough year. I felt I should tell you rather than just let you get a phone call at work." Probably best, considering they wouldn't even know where to call soon enough. Giving up the belittling approach, Don snaps that he's not going to let her break up the family, but she understandably denies responsibility for that, and when she's gone from the room, Don looks pensive and afraid...
...before we cross-fade to the SC lobby the day, and if things shake out as it seems they will it's nice of them to give us one last look around. Upstairs, Pryce comes into Bertram's office to see the three partners seated in an array waiting for him, and since Bertram is so awesome this episode it only seems right that he get to say the episode title. Roger informs Pryce that they know about McCann buying PPL, but after a bit of reflexive denial, Pryce sighs and admits that SC is indeed being sold, but they're wrong about PPL being part of the deal. I have the feeling he's going to pout something fierce when he learns the truth. Bertram says they'd like to buy back the company at a twelve percent markup from the original purchase price, but Pryce tells them they got more than that from McCann, although he declines to tell them how much more.
Actually, whatever number he thinks it went for is irrelevant, considering he obviously doesn't nearly know the entire scope of the deal, but regardless, he apologizes that they had to find out this way, adding that it wasn't his decision, and that last bit certainly won't be argued by anyone. Pryce stands and tells the disappointed threesome that he's truly enjoyed working there, and when he's gone, Roger bright-sides that they've only got him for a year and Don for three (less for both of them now, I suppose), and they'll make another go of it in the future. But building the accounts up from nothing will be difficult enough that it renders his words hollow, and the expression on Don's face suggests he knows that. Not that he smiles all that much as a general rule, but still.
Francis and Betty have come to the lawyer together, and he rattles off the short list of grounds for divorce in New York State: Absence of a spouse, incurable insanity, life imprisonment, or adultery. Betty volunteers that Don hasn't been faithful, but when the guy asks if she has any witnesses or corroboration, she replies, "Not really." Damn, girl, you're not even trying here. I mean, if you're not going to call up Jimmy or Bobbie Barrett, at least pay one of Don's secretaries to give you some dirt. The lawyer goes on that it wouldn't matter anyway "with both parties at fault," earning him some babbling denials from Betty and this question from Francis: "You think the governor needs another scandal on the ticket?" I'd imagine that's not the most disingenuous use of that phrase in history, but that's still some nerve on Francis.
The lawyer hilariously puts his hand over his heart in consternation before apologizing to Betty for assuming anything, but says that the State of New York really doesn't want anyone to get divorced. I bet it cries a lot these days, then. He goes on, however, that there is another option -- go to Nevada for six weeks to establish residency, after which time they'll grant a quickie divorce without even requiring Don's presence. He adds that they'll need to discuss what she wants in terms of settlement, but when she offers that she'd like whatever she's entitled to, Francis turns to her, takes her hands, and says she doesn't need what Don can provide. Doing a bang-up job of selling the idea you're not involved, you two, and the way the lawyer twitches uncomfortably agrees with me. Betty points out that she has three kids, but Francis tells her he'll take care of them and her, and he doesn't want her owing Don anything. It's a ridiculous attitude that obviously has everything to do with his own ego, but given that I think Betty's whole attraction to Francis is tied up in her daddy issues, it's hardly a surprise that she accedes to his wish even though it easily could come back to bite her in the ass later. Francis tells the lawyer that they want the whole thing wrapped up as quickly as possible, and he'll get no argument from me on that front.
Pryce calls Powell and cheerfully relays the conversation he had with the partners, but is stunned when Powell tells him they had it right -- PPL is being sold as well. Pryce asks why he wasn't told, and Powell's response of "didn't seem pertinent" is cold enough, but when he adds that Pryce will be farmed out to McCann along with the rest of the SC chattel and that Pryce, after the transition, will prove himself irreplaceable "as you always do," I'm feeling the chill even though it's record-breakingly warm outside today. I mean, Powell himself would have replaced Pryce if not for the collaboration of John Deere and a drunken secretary. Pryce can barely speak, so overwhelmed with rage and betrayal is he, but Powell blithely goes on that he'll put in a good word for Pryce, as if his mind is going to have room for anything other than the astronomical number he's going to clear from the sale. And how to avoid paying taxes on it, I reckon. Pryce slams down the phone in disgust, and given that it doesn't look like he's ever going back to England, I'll forgive him the loss of self-control.
Don heads upstairs to Gene's room to find Sally asleep in his bed with the lamp still on. Aw. He sits down in the chair, thinking about how he's going to miss this...
...before being thrown into another flashback, this one of Archie defending his decision about the grain to Abigail. Abigail, however, tells him that the bank is going to take the farm, so Archie angrily says he'll sell the grain for nothing, then. Dick watches uncomfortably as Archie gets up and goes on that he'll drive the grain to Chicago that very night, to which Abigail replies, "You're drunk." Maybe you can pull in some side money as a news reporter, Abigail. Once Archie's out the door, Dick gives Abigail a questioning side-eye, and she responds to the unstated question that he should go after him. "He can barely stand." That'll cease to be an issue in a moment.
In the barn, Archie tries to calm a jumpy horse for a bit before letting Dick have his first sip of moonshine or something else that only belongs in a jug, and now that I think of it I wouldn't be surprised if it was some of that garbage Connie and Don drank in their father-son conversation. In fact, it'd be quite fitting if that were the case. Archie then drunkenly drops the saddle in getting it off the wall, and when he bends down to retrieve it, an ill- (or well-, depending on your point of view) --timed crash of lightning causes the horse to kick out its hooves -- straight into Archie's forehead. At least he didn't feel a thing, I'm guessing. We see Dick desperately call "Daddy!" a few times, but the horseshoe marks on Archie's face suggest he's gone to that Great Big Cooperative In The Sky...
...and then we're back with Don, who's got to be thinking about how he doesn't want his kids to go through the pain of losing their father as well. He crawls into bed with Sally and reaches over her to take her hand as she sleeps, and at the very end of the recapping season you don't expect me to be able to make that funny, do you?
Cut to Don looking out his window at SC, drink in hand, when Bertram, Roger, and Pryce enter. After Don gets the rarely-seen second iteration of the episode title, he suggests they go to McCann directly, but Pryce thinks that's futile -- they were right about PPL being sold, "so it seems we're all going to McCann." Roger takes a moment to enjoy the thought that Pryce got shafted in the deal, but Don's too focused on the thought of getting a shot to buy SC back to notice. Pryce won't hear it, though, saying he should fire Don for even trying to involve him in "this conspiracy," and Don is too busy snapping back that firing people is the only thing Pryce did well during his stay at SC to notice the gigantic cartoon light bulb going off over his head. Pryce spits that he did a great many things while at SC, but instead of asking him to name a few, Don instead has seen the light, and softly recalls that Pryce has always had absolute authority to can anyone he chooses. A stillness overcomes the room as the other three feel what Don is about to say even before they fully understand, and he continues into the quiet, "Fire us." Bertram's face lights up as Don continues that Pryce can fire them and terminate their contracts, and Roger hilariously asks, "Can you do that?" Heh, but seriously, given that the answer seems to be a definite yes, some barrister in London forgot to cross some "t"s and dot some "i"s on Pryce's contract. And while I'm at it, I'm not completely convinced that it's realistic that Pryce could get away with what he ends up pulling off, but it was a long time ago and besides it's too awesome for me really to care.
Pryce asks why he would, his loftiness offset to some degree by the fact that he's still having the conversation, and Don tells him he'll be dead weight once the merger goes through. Pryce still drags his feet and looks down until Bertram offers to make him a partner, at which point his countenance changes magnificently to one of slyness: "I should think this is worth more than that." Don smiles at the fact that they're at least negotiating, but when he offers to put Pryce's name on the door, Roger balks. Don, however, asks Roger if he knows how to do what Pryce does, and I assume he means running a cost-efficient operation rather than simply firing people. Bertram votes with Don, and after Pryce takes a moment to consider, he announces that it could be done. However, as they all sit, he goes on that getting them out of SC isn't the difficult part -- as Bertram mentioned before, they need accounts, and while Lucky Strike is sizable, they'll still need some smaller additions to the list for cash flow. Roger says he can't take anyone else, "or Lee Garner Sr. won't think that he's special." Given what happened to Sal when the son didn't feel appreciated, I can only imagine that that would be a Very Bad Thing.
Roger asks Don about Hilton, and Don, hilariously, just replies, "No," like, "You couldn't pay me enough to go down that road again." Pryce tells them that if he were to send a Telex to London informing them of the firings at noon, it would be after close of business over there, so they wouldn't read it until around eight AM Monday Greenwich time, which gives them until the middle of the night on Sunday to get the accounts they need secured and to obtain a skeleton staff to service them. "And of course, we would have to obtain all the materials required for continuity of service." Don clarifies that they'll have to steal the files, and Pryce doesn't bother acknowledging that, instead going on that anyone approached about the new entity must be a certainty, for if news spreads, they'll be locked out. Should SC survive, my guess is that anyone canned in the future will be escorted out by security before their tear ducts even have time to process the information. Don looks around and asks if they need to vote, and Roger's hand is cutely demure as the first one to go up. When Bertram and Don follow suit, Pryce grins: "Well, gentlemen, I suppose you're fired." Roger: "Well, it's official. Friday, December thirteenth, 1963. Four guys shot their own legs off." The plot could use some fleshing out, but I'd read that script.
The four conspirators emerge from the office, and Don informs Allison that Pryce has requested an SC-wide memo -- the office will be closed that weekend and all work suspended for carpet cleaning. If Allison wonders exactly what could be so wrong with the carpet that it necessitated a meeting of the senior partners, she keeps it to herself, and then Don asks her to get Pete on the line for him. She tells him, however, that Pete didn't come in, so he has her call his home, as it's important. He then barks, "Peggy! My office!" Speaking of pitches that need polishing from the get-go. Peggy opens her door and asks Allison what she should bring, making me laugh, and when Allison just shrugs, Peggy heads into Don's office. She starts to talk about Western Union and the fact that they have no art, but Don gets right into it -- SC is being sold, he's starting a new agency, and he needs her there Sunday evening to get her things and help collect whatever accounts they end up taking. You may have noticed that he didn't actually ask her to come with him, and you're not the only one, because after Peggy inquires who's going and gets another snotty response in reply, she notes that he just assumes that she'll do whatever he says. "Just follow you, like some nervous poodle." Heh.
Don says he's not going to beg her, but this is where she points out that he didn't even ask her, proving her timing at playing the cards she's dealt is pretty sharp. He tells her he's asking her now, but it's too late, as she says she's had other offers, and they came with a sales pitch about opportunity. "Everyone thinks you do all my work. Even you. I don't want to make a career out of being there so you can kick me when you fail." Not a bad point to make, given how Don's treated her this season, but I have to say my first reaction was "Welcome to the workforce, honey." Don says he'll just ask Smitty and Kurt then, and somewhere, Paul starts crying and has no idea why. You'll notice, though, that he doesn't end up asking Smitty and Kurt, and while I'd rather have Peggy it seems like as good a time as any to mention how much I'll miss those homos. Anyway, Peggy tells him to knock himself out before leaving, and if things went this badly with her I can only imagine that Don's got to be wondering if Pete's any kind of sure thing here. Of course, he can always try paying him a compliment -- we know how much he likes that.
Trudy's hastily laying out some dip and vegetables as Pete yells about his pajamas before entering the room, and those of you who didn't get enough of him shirtless last time are in for a treat. Hey, I'm sensitive to minorities. Pete is pulling a robe on as he whispers that he skipped work because he had an interview over at Ogilvy, and he has to look sick. Trudy replies, "You do," and she's so nice that it's hard to credit her with any double meaning but since it's the season finale I'm going to anyway. The doorbell rings, and after Pete messes up his hair a little, Trudy opens up, and Pete hilariously seems a little overwhelmed at the reality of having both Don and Roger in his home. After Trudy leaves the men, they sit, and when Pete asks if everything's okay, Roger tells him the news. Don adds that Pete's not being fired, so he sardonically asks in response, "Am I getting a few more adjectives added to my title?" Nice, but I'm sure they'll both think of a couple choice ones if you keep up that attitude. Pete goes on that they shouldn't bother talking about it, as he has other plans, causing Trudy's suddenly artificially high voice to ring out, "Peter, may I speak to you for a moment?" Hee. Pete winces at the challenge to his authority, but Don wisely doesn't call attention to it, instead telling him they're starting a new agency, and they want him. Pete at least asks how it is that they're being allowed to leave (you'd think that would be the first question on everyone's mind upon hearing the news), but Roger declines to explain, instead telling him to keep it to himself, but he's taking American Tobacco. He goes on that they'll need another seven to ten million in billings "for cash flow, or something." I don't know if Roger believes in God, but he certainly doesn't believe that He is in the details. Roger asks what Pete has in his "saddlebag," but Pete denies knowledge of any such thing, and in the other room, Trudy is rolling her eyes and thinking this would be more convincing if he hadn't already crowed about his other plans. That woman is a saint, I'm telling you. Don tries a conciliatory tack, saying he doesn't blame Pete for wanting to leave after the way he was treated, which prompts Pete to speculate that Ken turned them down. Roger tells him they haven't talked to Ken "yet," and goes on that they do want his accounts, but also his talents. Pete sarcastically wonders what those might be, and when Roger offers that he'll do "what it takes," Pete says he wants to hear an answer from Don. Don takes a moment to consider, but sincerely answers that Pete saw this day coming -- in fact, he's been ahead of them on a lot of things -- "aeronautics, teenagers, the Negro market," and they need him to keep them looking forward. "I do, anyway." And so the seasonal theme pays off, although I never expected it would do so in quite such a satisfying way. Pete nods and says he wants to be a partner and have his name in the lobby, but Don deflects this discussion by telling him there's not going to be a lobby. Heh. Pete, however, grabs his files from a nearby spot in the room and reads off what's in his nonexistent saddlebag -- North American Aviation, Secor Laxatives, Gillette, Bronzo, maybe Pampers -- which totals almost eight million in billings already. "I don't think you get conditions." Don counters that they'll make him a partner if he can deliver by Sunday, and Pete blanches at the tight timetable, but stands and proffers his hand, and when Don and Roger don't jump up to shake it, he explains, "I'm not really sick." Wouldn't have guessed, with you wearing suit pants and wing tips under the robe. Trudy emerges with a smile on her face to see Don and Roger out, but before they leave, Pete asks what happens if he comes up short. Don gives him a Mona Lisa smile as he says that's not an option, so when they're gone, Pete asks Trudy to call his Secor contact at home to set up a meeting for that night while he gets dressed. "And sound like a secretary." They kiss and then break apart to execute their tasks as the soundtrack punctuates the cloak-and-dagger goings-on with a conspiratorial flourish. And the touch is appreciated but unnecessary, because I couldn't be more hooked were I a large-mouthed bass.
Don and Roger are drinking together, and I'm quite sure booze manufacturers everywhere are rejoicing that these two have mended their fences. Don says he can't believe Pete was going to leave, and Roger adds, "Little shit." HEE. I mean, I don't doubt that Don meant a lot of the stuff he said, but I love that he's bitching about having had to say it. Roger points out that the bar still has a picture of Kennedy up, which: What's it been, a few weeks? Although I'll admit that Jane talking about Kennedy all the time could certainly make it seem like longer. After Roger muses that he's acted like he started his business his whole life, even though he inherited it, Don confesses that he needs an attorney. "Divorce." Roger's like, right, Henry Francis, and when Don asks who that is, looks very chagrined that he just followed up a reconciliation with Don by putting a bag of trash directly into his outstretched hand, but he soldiers on, saying that Margaret's friends with his daughter. Don asks if he and Betty are sleeping together, but Roger helplessly says he doesn't know, but it sounds like it might be serious. He goes on to say that he thought Don knew, and it is kind of amazing that he didn't, given both Francis's and Betty's legendarily bad skills at having an affair, and then sighs defeatedly: "I'm sorry I told you. Believe me." Don looks floored, chastened, and hurt kind of beyond measure, and Roger apologizes again. On the plus side, I'm guessing these two are made up for good now.
Betty's asleep in bed when Don enters and unceremoniously tells her to wake up: "Who the hell is Henry Francis?" Someone who's glad he didn't choose this evening to sleep over, I'd say. After a moment, Betty tells him no one, which: See above, especially since they've actually talked about him before. He drags her out of bed and repeats the question, and when she attempts to buy time by asking why he cares, he contemptuously (and drunkenly) seethes, "Because you're good, and everyone else in the world is bad. You're so hurt, so brave with your little white nose in the air. All along you've been building a life raft." Just as well divorce is on the table, because as of this conversation I think we're beyond couples counseling. Betty snaps at him to get out, but he's not done, saying that she never forgave him, and since they are officially Going There, she spits, "Forgave what? That I've never been enough?" He ignores the calling out of his unflagging infidelity, shouting that she got everything she ever wanted, "and now I'm not good enough for some spoiled mainline brat?"
She shouts that that's exactly right, and I completely agree, so with as ugly an expression as you could imagine on his face (and he's being lit very evilly in this scene, I should add), he tells her she won't get a nickel in the split, and he'll take the kids. "God knows they'll be better off." Betty doesn't bother telling him she's no longer interested in his money, but does inform him New York State law won't be a problem for her: "I'm going to Reno, and you're going to consent, and that's the end of this. Don't threaten me. I know all about you." That's checkmate, and Don's well aware of it, so he does what he knows, which is to grab her and call her a whore. She returns his gaze unblinkingly, though, which says something about the stones on her, not that she hasn't demonstrated them time and again since mid-Season Two. The viewers, at least, are saved by Baby Gene starting to cry, and after a moment, Don pushes her away toward the crib, which I assume they moved in there after Don started sleeping in the nursery. After she picks her son up, she turns back to Don in victory: "I want you out of the house." Don looks at her like he doesn't know who she is, which is kind of the point, and leaves.
The day at SC, Pete is joined on the elevator by Harry, who is completely clueless as to what could be going on despite the mysterious carpet-cleaning memo and the fact that Pete is holding what should be a telltale cardboard box. He must be an absolute genius at television ad buying. Pete, not realizing that Harry is in the dark, offers that he's scared, but when Harry doesn't know what he means...
...this prompts Pete to announce loudly and artificially, when they enter the office, "Hey everybody! Harry Crane is here!" Hee. Pryce informs Pete that it's okay, as they were expecting him, but that only prompts Pete to ask why Pryce is there, since Don and Roger didn't see fit to mention that he was part of the scheme. And considering Pete's comment last week about his froglike mouth, that was probably for the best. Anyway, Bertram brings Harry up to speed, saying they'd like him to join the new venture as Head of Media. Harry tries to say he should call Jennifer, but Bertram steps forward and informs him that the matter is both secret and time-sensitive, and if he wants to be a mid-level cog in the machine of McCann, "we'll have to lock you in the storeroom until morning. I'm sure you understand." HA! Bertram, you'll bury us all. Harry stares at the old man in abject terror, as well he might, but quickly signs on. They're presented with a problem, though, when they realize that none of them really knows how the filing system works, and as such they're going to have a hard time getting their hands on the appropriate materials. And if you're not already cheering at what's coming, I'll forgive you, because it's been a long season, so just enjoy the surprise. Because Roger offers to make a phone call, and when Pryce cautions him that they don't need any more conspirators, he assures him he'll be discreet as I pump my fists in the air. Pete then asks where Don is...
...so we cut back to Ossining, where Don's waiting in the living room when Betty brings the kids in. Bobby fearfully asks what they did, as apparently this is the room they only enter for scoldings. I'd make a joke about how this will expand the room's horizons for him, but it's just a little too sad for that, especially since Sally looks like she's got half an idea what's coming already. Betty haltingly tells the kids that Don's going to be moving out, and Bobby looks instantly shattered as Don struggles not to look away. Betty goes on that Don will visit, but when Bobby asks why he's leaving, then, Betty looks to Don for help, which turns out not to be such a good idea when he says it will just be temporary. Kind of hilariously, Betty shakes her head at him, like, does she think he just made an honest mistake here? She tells the kids it won't be like when Don left the last time, and then Bobby heartbreakingly asks if it's because he lost Don's cufflinks, like, I thought we were having fun with this episode but that stuff suddenly seems awfully far away. He tells them he loves them both, but Sally finally finds her voice: "Then why are you going?" He tries to say he's not leaving, just living somewhere else, but she tells him that's going. "You say things and you don't mean them. And you can't just do that?" On top of everything else, now she's drawing an uncomfortable parallel to what he said to Connie. Damn precocious kids.
He goes to sit with her despite the fact that she tells him to go away, and she reminds him that he said he would always come home. He doesn't choose to throw any blame Betty's way, but that doesn't stop Sally from turning on her and asking if she made him leave. She denies that, saying they both decided, and Sally says it's still her fault because she made Don sleep in Baby Gene's room. "It's scary in there." Heh. Don says they can call any time and he'll come, but Sally has had enough and stomps out of the room. I cannot imagine doing multiple takes of this scene without at least several Kleenex breaks for both actors and crew. Bobby puts his arms around Don and tells him not to go, and Betty puts a hand over her eyes as Don assures him no one wants this, but he needs him to be a big boy. He rocks Bobby back and forth in his arms...
...and then Peggy opens her door to find him and tells him he looks awful. He asks if he can come in, and when she obliges, he sits and tells her she was right -- he's taken her for granted and been hard on her, but only because he sees her as an extension of himself. "And you're not." I think he means they're so similar that he expected her always to understand him, but it could be taken as saying he still thinks of her as a secretary, or that she's not as good as he is, and, underwhelmed, she hilariously thanks him for stopping by. He's not done, however, beckoning her to sit before asking if she knows why he doesn't want to go to McCann. She says it's because he can't work for anyone else, but he demurs -- it's because there are people out there who buy things, and "something happened, something terrible. And the way that they saw themselves is gone. And nobody understands that. But you do. And that's very valuable." He goes on that he's moving on, but he's not sure he can do it alone. "Will you help me?" She's a bit overwhelmed by the approval from him, so long withheld, and with brimming eyes, she asks what will happen if she says no. "You'll never speak to me again." He tells her that's not the case: "I will spend the rest of my life trying to hire you." Wow, Don's three for three at making up with SC people. And they never even played his theme music!
The boys are leafing through files when everyone brightens, and not just those on screen. The reason is that Joan has appeared, and after she mentions that she already called some movers, she takes a look at their list and quickly tells them where everything is and what else they'll need. Bertram: "Very good. Now I can pack." Heh. Don then enters with Peggy in tow and is just as happy as everyone else to see Joan, and then asks what Pete came up with. Pete gives over the names, and they're mostly what he had suggested he'd be able to bring (I think Samsonite replacing Gillette is the only difference), except for the one that put him over the top -- Clearasil. Peggy: "Really?" Heh, but that pretty much says it all. Because Trudy's father pulled Clearasil from SC once Pete refused to adopt a child with Trudy, so...did he reverse that stance to get the account, or did Trudy merely let her dad know he'd be a partner in the new firm if he'd only throw him back his business? I kind of hope it's the former, because the image of baby-faced Pete holding an infant is too good to pass up. Anyway, Roger asks where they should start, and Joan suggests the Art Department. Harry, however, says it's locked, and here's where I thought they might call Sal...
...but instead, after Don's keys fail him, he unceremoniously kicks in the door, and I'd imagine all he had to do was pretend that the nameplate read "Henry Francis." Elsewhere, Peggy, Joan, and Roger are transcribing vital information, and Roger, after complaining that he's tired, asks if Peggy could get him a cup of coffee. Peggy: "No." The new order does have its downsides, Roger. Also: HA! In his office, Bertram crabs to the movers, referring to his collectibles that he hopes they washed their hands...
...and then the conspirators are following the movers out the door. Roger, Don, and Joan are the last three to leave, and after Joan sighs that Greg is going to kill her, Don tells her that he's staying at the Roosevelt, but he'll need her to find him an apartment. She asks if he wants it furnished, and he grimly responds, "For the time being." So at least he accepts that it might really be over, even if he's holding out hope. Joan whispers that she's sorry before leaving, and then the movers take the last of the stuff out, leaving Don and Roger to take one last look around. After a long moment, Roger asks Don how long he thinks it'll take them to be in a place like this again, but Don has a different view of their future: "I never saw myself working in a place like this." Roger can accept his meaning, and when the two of them walk out, Don starts to kneel down to the floor-level lock, but Roger snits, "Don't bother." Don's like, all righty, then...
...and when Allison enters Don's office on Monday, she takes a stunned look around and then yells to the office that they've been robbed. Poor dear -- I'll miss her! She must have come a long way, considering I didn't even remember her name for the longest time.
When Pryce arrives, Hooker unsurprisingly has Powell on the phone for him. Pryce cheerfully greets him, and when Powell asks what the hell is going on, Pryce smugly tells him he thinks it should be perfectly clear. Powell is apoplectic with rage: "You're fired. You're fired for costing this company millions of pounds. You're fired for insubordination. YOU'RE FIRED FOR LACK OF CHARACTER!" Pryce: "Very good! Happy Christmas!" Again, HA! Pryce then calls Hooker back in and, giving him a card, tells him he's been sacked and to please put his things into storage at the given address. Hooker asks what's happened, and Pryce jovially replies that he's a "sharp boy," and he'll figure it out. Especially when he tries to find the files for American Tobacco.
As men in the background install extra phone lines, Joan is giving the layout for the suite they've rented: Peggy and Pete will share the desk (ahem), they'll get a table in for Don where the couch is, Media will be in the bedroom, and I'll interrupt myself to make a comment about how Media deals get closed if we weren't talking about Harry here. Actually, it's perfectly logical, as that's where the TV is, but it doesn't stop Roger from adding, "Accounts gets the bed." Just as long as Jane doesn't visit. Joan adds that clients are never ever to come to the hotel, much less the suite, and then the phone rings, causing Joan to smile at how quickly the business is starting. However, after she answers the phone with a sunny "Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce," her face falls: "Yes, Harry. It's Room 435." Heh. Roger shakes his head like he knows who gets fired first if the new regime falls on hard times.
Back at SC, there's a cluster of people around a distraught Allison: "He didn't leave a note. Nothing." Ken then joins them and says he talked to John Deere, and Pete tried to poach them Saturday. Surprising to hear that Pete went after one of Ken's clients, given that that could have blown up the secret operation, but he must have been desperate to get to that magic number. I smell a Campbell of unknown ethnic origin on the way! Also, is Ken that highest-ranking person left at the company? That's going to be some cold water for PPL. When Ken adds that Pete must have gone with Don (presumably they don't even know about Bertram and Roger yet), Paul gets a horrible thought and opens the door to Peggy's office to find it in the same state as Don's. He seethes, "Dammit!" If this is the end for this character, I will miss Michael Gladis. Still: HA!
The office is set up and working away, as Don's typing something himself and Pete is on the phone with one of the accounts talking logistics. This makes me realize another irony -- after PPL employed all these cost-cutting measures to streamline SC for the big sale, the core bunch ended up defecting to run an operation that could only be cheaper were it run out of a cardboard box. But one other thought: I mentioned in the recaplet that the new firm will need an art director, hoping that could be the way they get Sal back, but one of my clearer-thinking friend pointed out that they'll never be able to do that as long as they're linked to American Tobacco and Lee Garner Jr. Sigh. Anyway, Trudy then bustles in with a large box containing lunch for everyone, and probably not coincidentally, they're all thrilled to see her. Don gets a look on his face...
...and goes in to tell Harry about lunch being delivered. Once he scampers off, though, we get the real reason for Don's pensive face, as he closes the door...
...and calls Betty. He takes a long moment to identify himself, and she in turn is silent, so he goes on that he's not sure where he's staying, but he's working out of the Pierre. He then tells her that he's not going to fight her, and this causes her face to twitch a little before she thanks him. He adds, without venom, that he hopes she gets what she always wanted, and she in turn tells him that he'll always be the kids' father. The pain of the end plays over his face for another long moment before he softly says okay, and then they each say the word "Goodbye," which they seem to mean in the permanent sense. Of course, as amazing as she's been I can't really see January Jones being written off, and the kids provide a link between them, but obviously the story doesn't support Betty being a day-to-day part of the show at the moment. We'll see where things are when they start the fourth season. Don hangs up and stares at the phone for a moment...
...and then we cut to him going back into the main room. He looks around at everyone fussing over lunch to see that Pryce has arrived, and brightly asks him how his morning was. Pryce replies that it was very productive indeed, and Don smiles big as he watches his new family. Roy Orbison's "Shahdaroba" kicks up...
...as Betty, Baby Gene in her lap and Francis to her (not that his presence is strictly needed, but he does keep babbling about taking care of her and whatever, and it would be a strain for her to do all this on her own with the baby in tow), flies out to Reno...
...while at night out in Ossining, Carla takes care of the kids. I'd say that's cold for them, but they'd probably rather spend Christmas with Carla than anyone else at the moment. Still, Betty, you couldn't wait a couple weeks?
Don arrives at a brownstone apartment building that apparently houses his new digs. We watch from across the street as he heads to the door, and that's it for the season. And while it was certainly my least favorite season on balance (which is obviously all relative because it's such a great show), the finale seems to have rectified my biggest complaint, which is that too much focus was given to Ossining and not nearly enough to SC or the people therein. Also, I'm really impressed they were able to take the pieces from not just last week's shattering episode, but from a very fractious season, and reconstitute them into something new and wholly exciting. And while I hate to have to wait so long for the season, you have to figure they're using every moment they have to make it as good as possible. Thanks for reading and hope to see you year!
John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. You can reach him at couchbaron@gmail.com.
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