In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. It's 1962, and Don gets a physical and learns he has high blood pressure. As part of his efforts to relax, he reads a book called "Meditations In An Emergency," and sends a copy to an undisclosed recipient. On Valentine's Day, Betty runs into an old roommate and model friend of hers who's working as an escort. This gets her curiosity going, and after Don fails to, er, stand at attention like a good soldier should, she seems to be interested in expanding her sexual horizons. An abrasive Peggy is working with the boys, who all speculate about the reason behind her newly trim figure. Joan's involved with a doctor, which has not surprisingly somewhat soured her relationship with Roger. Speaking of whom, Duck presses Roger to get Don to hire younger people, which is less than appreciated by either our favorite creative director or his underlings. In other news, Trudy's baby-crazy, Francine is still awesome, and Paul and Sal have beards, literal and figurative, respectively.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Eeeee, I can't believe the show is finally back! I've seen it heavily advertised, although the billboards have kind of let it speak for itself, which is somewhat ironic. Then again, if you haven't heard how great the first season was, you pretty much have to be dead, in which case, irony is probably lost on you.
The previouslies quickly hit the most important points, which is consistent. Mincing words is frowned on by characters both real and fictional around here, and I'm more than happy to follow suit.
The opening shot is of Joan zipping up a slinky red dress while looking in a mirror. It kind of calls to mind the iconic shot of Josie Packard putting on her makeup in the beginning of Twin Peaks, except that Christina Hendricks is frontally separated by about an entire alphabet from Joan Chen. Chubby Checker's "The Twist" plays as we fade into Peggy applying perfume and similarly getting ready, symbolically putting the two of them on an equal playing field in the new season. Pete fixes his hair as Trudy adoringly helps him with his cufflinks, and then we fade to a quick shot of someone changing the locks on Don's door before we see Betty, dressed in smart equestrian gear, riding a horse and taking instructions from a woman probably twenty years her senior.
Cut to Don taking off his dress shirt and getting weighed by a nurse, who tells him, "You're a big one." Like it wasn't tough enough not to have a crush on him. The doctor appears and thanks "Lily," who departs as the doc chastises Don first for not having had a physical in quite some time and then for having rather high blood pressure -- 160/100, to be precise. Asked for his parents' history, Don informs us that his mother died in childbirth, as we knew, but also lets us know that his father bought it in an accident in his early forties, which I think is new information. It's just too bad the doctor doesn't know how rare it is to hear Don open up like this -- he might want to rush out and buy a lottery ticket. He asks Don how many drinks he has a day, and Don tells him that on "days of plenty" he has three. I'd chastise him for obviously lying, but I suppose he could have been talking about fifths. The doc was not born yesterday, so he gets Don to admit five is closer to the mark before telling him that he needs to stop living quite so hard and giving him prescriptions for Reserpine for the blood pressure and Phenobarbital to help him relax. I'd wonder about the wisdom of giving barbiturates to an addictive, moody person, but as we'll find out, only two years have passed since the first season, and given what we saw of medicine and psychology then, just the fact that the doc doesn't give him a Scotch with which to wash the pills down is progress. He adds that Don is thirty-six, and needs to take these health issues seriously. I nod sagely at age thirty-eight, and then slap myself in the face.
A riding buddy (no, not that kind) of Betty's tells her that her daughter has been hoarding her lunch money, and Betty gives the daughter props for her bulimic tendencies. Sure, I'm paraphrasing, but given that the economy of phrasing on this show is so extreme you'd think the cast gets charged for speaking by the word, it's a necessary evil. Some male student stops and bids Betty and the friend a fond hello, which earns him a reproach from the teacher. Once he's gone, the friend tells Betty that he's twenty-five, and the two of them talk, although she adds that he's engaged, so there's no point in being aloof. Betty: "I wouldn't know what to talk about." Given my read of the dude, jewelry and the fall jodhpur collection would be appropriate subject matter. Betty and friend exchange small talk about the similarities between children and manure before she drives off. Okay, I might be paraphrasing again, but it's so much more fun that way.
At Sterling Cooper, a rather large Xerox machine has been delivered, causing Joan some consternation and the rest of the hens on the floor some titillation. Joan informs the girls and a newly-bearded Paul that the machine is a gift to everyone, but it's bigger than she expected, and she thinks it needs an office. Paul lets us know that everyone's doubling up as it is, and Joan relents, saying they can leave it out in the open for the time being. At least that will discourage people from photocopying their asses, anyway.
In the conference room, the creative team, including a back-to-trim Peggy and some older guy named Dale, sits around an untouched pile of sandwiches before Ken starts to go for it, saying that Don isn't exactly going to care if they dig in. The other team members dissuade him, however, and after Ken subtly implies that Peggy's still underneath the men (with Paul throwing in a Señor Wences-esque "S'alright!"), she leaves to check on Don. After she's gone the boys speculate that Don must have knocked Peggy up, given that she went away for a couple months and came back much svelter. Pete enters and suggests that Peggy went to a fat farm. I know we've had our disagreements but I have to say that given the information they all have, Pete's theory sounds the more plausible. Well, except from his own point of view, but that's a whole other story.
Peggy approaches Don's new secretary, "Lois," and asks when she might be expecting Don. Lois conspiratorially tells Peggy that Don said he was going to the movies. "Pinocchio." Peggy starts to walk away, but turns back and somewhat nastily (although it is possible that she was giving some constructive, if stern, advice) suggests that Lois imagine that Don is there whenever she talks about him. In any event, she succeeds in getting her point across, and walks away triumphantly. Now if she can only make a man feel like shit, she'll be having a really good day.
Don is chowing down in a bar, and if Ken could only see him, he'd be perfectly justified in doing a Debbie-Reynolds-on-Will And Grace "I Told You So" dance. He notices a guy to him reading a copy of Meditations In An Emergency, and asks if it's good. The guy pointedly tells Don he doesn't think he'd like it, and Don doesn't continue the inquiry, as being psychoanalyzed by some random person probably isn't going to do anything for his blood pressure.
Joan enters Roger's office, and they have a sharp exchange, the gist of which is that they're no longer seeing each other, and while Roger is being attentive to Mona and Joan has a new doctor boyfriend, neither of them is quite over each other. There's also the fact that Joan's rack looks even bigger than it did last season. Given the sheer magnitude of the boobs in question I felt they deserved their own sentence. Duck comes in to see Roger, and Joan takes off after some brief repartee, leaving Duck to tell Roger that he thinks the Martinsons Coffee account needs some young people on it, and he's not pleased that Don has Freddy on the job. Roger asks if Duck brought his beef up with Don, but Duck asks if Roger didn't describe himself as a bridge between accounts and Don. Roger: "Doesn't sound like me." Hee. I missed you, you arterially-challenged Silver Fox. Duck, however, keeps pushing young people, specifically young writer-artist teams, even in the face of Roger's heartily-inhaled cigarette smoke. I hope he's at least cut down on the dairy.
Don arrives at the office, and Lois reminds him about his twelve o'clock in the conference room. Don sighs and heads in that direction...
...and inside, the sandwiches are still untouched but the bar is almost depleted. Just another day ending in "y." After the boys briefly and drunkenly try to get Peggy to tell them how women think, Don enters and calls the meeting to order, and is not thrilled with the state of everyone. The "Mohawk Airlines" account comes up, and all Paul has to offer is a series of slogans that are racist even for 1962, causing Don to announce, "There has to be advertising for people who don't have a sense of humor." Don's going to love eHarmony when that washes down the pike. He dispenses some wisdom about how the campaign should emphasize adventure and short skirts, and leaves, showing that while two years may have passed, he can still get more done in five minutes that all the yokels under him can do in a day. (I'll cut Peggy a break -- it's hard to accomplish anything with the glass ceiling pressing down on you so hard you can barely inhale.) Once Don's gone, Paul, as is his wont, pissily asks what Don meant, and Ken replies that it means the ad should make you want to go somewhere, or go up a skirt. Peggy: "That's the impression I got." Hee.
Betty arrives home and tells Carla that Bobby is turning blue outside, before kissing Sally, who tells her that they celebrated Valentine's Day at school, but everyone had to give a valentine to everyone else. Betty: "That defeats the purpose." Betty and I are agreeing from across the room, not for the first time. Sally pulls her mom's boot off before telling her that she'd like to go riding with her, but Betty tells her it's too dangerous. "Do you remember what happened to the little girl in Gone With The Wind?" Isn't Sally a little young to have seen that? Especially with "damn" being the most notorious word in the script?
Roger comes in to see Don, noting that common wisdom dictates that drinking alone means you're an alcoholic. He heads straight for the bar as he adds, "I'm really trying to avoid that." Hee. Roger tells Don about Duck wanting younger people, and hands Don a list of candidates in the twenty-something range. Don thinks any cachet younger people have is a myth: "You're talking as if they're some fresh version of us. They're not. Young people don't know anything -- especially that they're young." Take heed, whipper-snappers, the geezer with the high blood pressure knows of what he speaks. Roger, however, in his typically phlegmatic way, tells Don simply to prove Duck wrong. And speaking of which, hey, remember last season, when I speculated Duck was gay? Surrounding yourself with young boys isn't exactly proving me wrong.
In a schmancy hotel restaurant, Don observes all the romance going on around him, and then sees Betty descending the staircase wearing a beatific smile. She wishes him a happy Valentine's Day, but before they can sit down, Betty recognizes a passing woman who's about her age and calls, "Juanita?" Turns out she was Betty's roommate in Manhattan and a model as well, and she's celebrating Valentine's Day with her father. Well, it's a man old enough to be her father, but I figured you all are smart enough that if I told you that straightaway there would be no suspense whatsoever. Yes, after some uncomfortable posturing on Juanita's part, including a confession that her date is from out of town, and Betty getting Juanita's number, Don informs Betty that Juanita is a "party girl." Betty isn't scandalized so much as curious how Don knows that, and I know she's trying to trap Don into an admission of infidelity, but for God's sake, honey, the man was in the Army. Betty laughs about the whole thing, and then Don suggests they head up for some room service. Make sure you order a low-salt entrée...oh, that's not what he was talking about, is it?
Don and Betty enter the room, and after some kissing, Betty heads into the bathroom, all the while speculating about the going rate for ladies of the evening. When she emerges, she's clad in undergarments that...well, all I'll say is that it must have taken a lot of restraint for Don not to blurt out a dollar amount right there. He settles for a "Wow," and then heads into the bathroom himself. I'm just sorry we don't get to see his topper.
Pete comes home with Valentine's Day chocolates for Trudy; we learn that Hildy is still Pete's secretary before Trudy lets us know that a friend of theirs is newly pregnant. Sensing her obvious chagrin that she's not the one with a bun, Pete tries to console "Tweety," to middling avail. He might do better if he were to drop that nickname.
Apparently the hooker-wear isn't having its desired effect, as Don doesn't seem to be able to get it up. Apparently when you drop the name "Dick," you pay for that decision in unexpected ways. Betty lights a cigarette and tells Don she wishes he'd just tell her what to do. Oh, Betty. You can't play the Madonna and then expect your man to tell you how to be a whore. Don is silent, so Betty offers that they drank too much, and suggests Don eat something. Don obediently calls room service and asks for some food, but Betty ends up taking the phone from him and placing the order herself as Don turns the TV on and, at Betty's request (a quick demonstration that Betty is far more assertive with respect to Don than she was last season) settles on Jackie Kennedy giving a gracious tour of the White House. We then cut to other couples watching the broadcast, starting with Sal and a woman. Well, at least we can figure Trudy isn't going to have anything to be jealous of here, particularly not since Sal asks, "Where's her husband?" Hee. We move on to Joan and the doctor, who are making out as Joan sneaks glances at the program, and then Pete, who's sitting alone eating snacks while his wife is nowhere to be seen. Hey Tweety, I know a guy in publishing who'd be happy to give it a shot any time you'd like. Your children will end up taller that way, too.
Francine! Okay, it's not that the acting isn't uniformly amazing on this show, because it is, but I have to tell you, Anne Dudek was an integral part of the best two-part episode House ever did, and given that she isn't returning to that show, I have to express my unbridled delight that she's back with us here. She's talking about how Jackie seemed nervous, and gives herself a shout-out by opining that it seems like Jackie and JFK were "playing house." Heh, Mad Men writers. Betty lies that she and Don missed the program, as they had "no time for television," and the offhand way she does so to her best friend is interesting, but it could just be that she wants to get to the juicy stuff, which is Juanita and her trickery. Betty lies again in giving the impression that she was the one who called it, and that Don merely agreed with her, and I'm getting kind of tired of her game here already. Francine is the appropriate mix of scandalized and titillated, and Betty notes that New York is expensive. "We forget that." She says that when they were twenty-two, she and Juanita shared a room and talked in the dark, and they wanted the same things. Francine counters that when she was twenty-two and needed money, she'd call her father and tell him she was going to Havana, and he'd respond by sending twenty-five dollars cash in the mail, but it wasn't for her, as he was a degenerate gambler -- he would give her instructions on how to bet it. "And he never won, because I never went." Betty laughs and says that's criminal, which it is, if by "criminal" she means "awesome."
The boys meet at a table out in the main area, and are none too happy about it. Pete officiously offers to host them in his office, which implies that the rest of them either lost their offices entirely or are doubling up. We learn that Harry's wife is pregnant, so I guess he took his blubbering ass home and gained forgiveness after last season's finale sputtering something about wheels and carousels. The boys then observe two young guys being shown in, leading to much chagrin from Paul. Ken tells him he's in the same boat as the creative people -- no one has been promoted in Accounts since Duck joined the firm. He expresses his faith that Don will eventually defeat Duck, and then Peggy approaches, saying no one told her there was a meeting. Sal: "Can we change venues?" Sure -- did Chippendale's exist in 1962?
So these two guys Don is interviewing are apparently representative of those teams Duck was talking about, aged twenty-five and twenty-four, and one is American while the other is from Europe somewhere and is wearing, as Joe R put it, "the largest cable-knit sweater I've ever seen." Don asks them this: "Have you ever been fired?" I wonder if Don's really interested in their employment history, or if he's just planning to relish being the first to do the honors.
The copier men are back, and Joan is explaining that she's not sure having the behemoth in the hallway is the best idea, particularly since clients can see it. "We don't want to appear to be bursting at the seams." With those tits and that ass, it's a difficult scenario to avoid. Joan sees Lois and pulls her aside for a confab, chastising her for crying in the break room, "which I have specifically forbidden." Heh. She also insists that she call Peggy "Miss Olson," and doesn't really want to hear about how Peggy "yelled" at Lois. Her points made, Joan leads Lois back to the copier and asks if "we like this in the hallway." Lois makes the far-sighted observation that it looks good now, but it will become messy, and Joan agrees, because she's seen this show before.
Don wraps things up with the two boys, who are both apparently surnamed "Smith" although they're not related, and then Duck comes over for a little glad-handing. The Smiths are wary, though, and express their desire that their little interview be kept under wraps for the moment. They take off, and Duck commends Don on the direction he's taking. Don asks, now that he's given Duck his young 'uns and the Xerox machine, if he should throw in a couple of elephants as well. "I don't want there to be any excuse when you can't bring in Martensons Coffee." Excuse me for a moment while I turn off my air conditioner. Duck counters that there are other ways of thinking besides Don's. Wow, Duck, if that's the best you can do in the comeback department, maybe you should start drinking again.
The boys and Peggy have in fact moved into Pete's office, and it's worth noting that Peggy and Pete seem to be working rather harmoniously as they discuss some account having to do with kids. Ken pulls Paul and Harry out to celebrate the latter's baby news, and Peggy tells Sal they should go in to Don with the Mohawk drawings. Sal points out that Dale isn't there, but Peggy replies, "Mr. Draper doesn't care." Heh. Sal heads out, but before Peggy can do the same, Pete sighs that he doesn't get the big deal about kids, and asks Peggy if she wants any. Peggy takes a moment and responds, "Eventually." Pete: "Exactly." Some kid in foster care: "Well, I'm so sorry my timing was so fricking inconvenient."
Sal and Peggy show the artwork and slogan to Don, who's unimpressed. He points out a child in the drawing, and suggests it be the focus. Peggy takes a rather defiant tone and tells him that sex sells, but Don is up to the challenge of showing for the 5,398th time why he's the boss as he informs her that people who say that think that a monkey could do their jobs, but that's not the case. He picks up the Valentine on this desk and tosses it on top of the drawing: "You are the product. You, feeling something -- that's what sells. Not them. Not sex." Peggy, however unwilling she was to start, has been listening raptly, and Svengali... I mean, "Don" concludes his Minute of Mentoring by adding, "They can't do what we do. And they hate us for it." After giving it a little thought, Peggy comes up with a slogan that satisfies her boss, and Sal doesn't need any further prompting to get the hell out of there.
Peggy discovers that the office she's already sharing is now home to the Xerox machine. Ha! No matter what rules and regulations she may have cited to Lois, Joan takes care of her girls. The trumpet of That's What You Get For Not Remembering Where You Come From plays jauntily.
Don is on the elevator when two douchebag guys get on and start talking grossly about some female co-worker of theirs, and don't stop when a woman gets on. Seeing her obvious discomfort, Don, in an oblique way of getting them to show some manners and respect in front of the woman, orders one of the dicks to take his hat off. Not knowing when a man means business, they gape slack-jawed, so Don removes the one man's hat for him. He doesn't shove it up the guy's ass, but then,there is a lady present.
At night, Betty's car dies on a dark road, and she flags down the driver and asks her to stop at the Esso station and call for a tow truck.
Don arrives home, and Carla tells him that Betty just went to pick up Sally from ballet. Don offers to drive her to the station, but she tells him she's fine walking. I'd complain that that might be dangerous, except given that she hesitates before answering so we can all get a good close-up of the three fingers of rye Don's pouring, she probably thinks she's picking the lesser of two evils here. I'm thinking this is foreshadowing Don (or someone) having a drunk-driving accident at some point. It's not like I wish ill on the characters but it would still be about frickin' time. Once Carla's gone, Bobby, Don's son, says he doesn't want any more of his dinner, so Don takes it over.
The tow truck has arrived. The somewhat gruff, blue-collar serviceman tells Betty he has an extra fan belt, and he could put it in for nine bucks. Betty goes to her wallet, but finding only three singles, gets a determined look on her face that I can only describe as a more prostitute-oriented version of "WWJD?" Betty says she only has three bucks and change, and declines the guy's offer to put it on account, as it's a new car and she doesn't want Don to find out. "He doesn't like the way I drive." The guy tells her that's not what caused the problem, but Betty's mentally committed here, and somewhat kittenishly tells the guy that it would just mean the world to her if he'd help her out. The guy cottons on quickly, and asks, "Are we bargaining here?" Appropriately enough, this feels like watching a car wreck. It's tough to watch and tough to look away. However, the scene doesn't end with illicit roadside sexual favors, but simply with the guy replacing the fan belt and bidding her goodnight. I guess if you need a burly gay mechanic in 1962 Westchester, now you know where to go.
Chez Draper. Sally rushes in and greets Polly warmly, causing Don to say grumpily, "I'm here too." True, but Polly doesn't smell like booze and cigarettes. I hope. Betty lies about why she was delayed, and then Sally shows Don and Betty some moves she learned in class...
...and later, Don is reading Meditations In An Emergency. His voice-over quotes, "Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern." He writes on the paper, "Made me think of you," and puts it in an envelope, but we don't see the addressee. The VO continues, "The country is grey and brown and white, and trees, snows, and skies of laughter always diminishing, less funny, not just darker, not just grey." Don walks Polly to the mailbox and drops the package in. "It may be the coldest day of the year. What does he think of that? I mean, what do I? And if I do, perhaps I am myself, again." Can it be anyone but Rachel? Hopefully we'll find out soon.