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Rosie's first ride on the Old Man's horse -- after a charactistic fetshized sequence of jockies getting dressed while praying -- goes off without much of a hitch. (Not that you'd know, considering half the episode is spent on meaningful glances and montages related to this first ride, which never quite ends.) Soon enough, she and Leon are making tiny, incomprehensible love and talking, one assumes, of jockey matters.
In the matter of Gettin' Up Morning and his Daddy and How They Killed Him, I'm not sure they killed him. Joke's on us, I guess.
The Degenerates try, and don't entirely fail, to dissuade Jerry from his near-constant gambling, but considering that he only ever plays poker with that one horrible Asian fella, it might be easier and cheaper in the long run to just take that guy out. Mostly it's just difficult to give a damn what's going on with them because they're such weirdo drama queens that bitch all the time for no reason.
Which, speaking of, Porky Pig still gets to savor the delightful taste of scenery.
Along the same lines, Ace finally sits down with Dumbledore, for a meeting fraught with meaning and tension, although this is more than offset by some time spent with the freakin' delightful Joan Allen and more busting Nathan Israel's balls for no real reason.
Maybe the most boring episode yet, which is disheartening considering we're halfway through the season and couldn't care less about these people, but on the other hand if you ever wondered what it would be like to watch people say the phrase "And So Forth" ten times a scene in lieu of actually communicating or doing anything interesting, this might well be your favorite TV episode of all time.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Ace went to jail to save his nephew from the drug-dealing machinations of Dumbledore, and when he got out he hired a little boy to use against him. Leon was getting fat and passing out. Joan Allen was trying to establish an ex-con/dying horse matchmaking service. The Degenerates bought a horse, and Jerry was having poker problems. Ronnie fell off a horse and became a drug addict, so the Old Man once again uprooted Rosie and hauled her back to Santa Anita.
POKER
Jerry's having a time of it, taking a little break in his constant throwing away of money to splash some water on his face. He looks like hell.
Chan: "I think perhaps your priorities are not in order. You seem to have a gambling problem."
Jerry: "I think you will soon have a foot-up-your-ass problem."
Chan: "It's not even like I'm playing very complicated head games with you. You make it easy."
Jerry: "I have emotional problems from way back."
GETTIN' UP MORNING
Rosie: "Old Man, I hope you make up your mind soon. I am a beautiful young woman and a promising athlete, and you keep making me move all around the Pacific region."
Smith: "We'll see. In the meantime, have yourself a magical horse moment."
Rosie: "It will go on and on."
DEGENERATES
Degenerates: "Maybe we shouldn't always be hanging around Escalante like this. He gets pretty paranoid. Or maybe we should do something with our lives that's less unsavory."
Wheels: "Don't be silly. We've always hung out in this exact spot, acting gross. Why change just because we hired the worst person in the world to train our horse?"
Degenerates: "Also, where is Jerry? I miss him for some reason."
Escalante: "I'm in a good mood because I got fisted by Jill Hennessey last night, so I'm only going to be half my usual amount of cocksucker."
Degenerates: "It's cool, we don't have much self-respect."
JOCKEY ITCH
Leon: "Can I talk to you, Escalante?"
Escalante: "No, because you can barely talk. What do you want?"
Leon: "[It remains a mystery.]"
Escalante: "Hey, is Leon getting fat?"
Porky Pig: "Jockeys are measured in mols."
Porky Pig: "Ronnie, how's it going being a huge drug addict?"
Ronnie: "I'm still maintaining better than Jerry, for some reason."
Porky Pig: "Can I offer you some advice?"
Ronnie: "This coffee contains enough cat tranquilizers to fell Delphi himself."
Porky Pig: "Is that How They Killed Him?"