"Holy Interruptus, Batman!" -- Allison Janney as CJ Cregg, The West Wing.
"I've looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw was beautiful." -- John Locke, Lost.
"I've looked into the eye of this island, and what I saw was boring." -- Cindy McLennan, TWoP.
As I finished up last week's recap, I was afraid I'd gone soft. I was afraid that because I'm so in love with this show, and this season -- because this is this show's last season -- I'd never again assign it a grade lower than an A+. Whew! Glad that's no longer a problem. "Across The Sea" isn't much ado about nothing, but it is little ado about little, and so this recaplet will follow suit.
A pregnant woman in a red gown (i.e. a very long red shirt) is shipwrecked and washes up on the shore of Craphole Island. She travels inland to the creek and, while she's drinking, she meets up with CJ Fricking Cregg. CJ brings her back to her rape cave. Although we never learn CJ's name, we do learn the pregnant woman's name: Claudia. Claudia gives birth to a son, and names him Jacob. CJ obviously wants to take the baby, but is interrupted when Claudia gives birth to another son. She doesn't get the chance to name him, on account of the fact that CJ Fricking Cregg bashes Claudia in the head with a rock and kills her. Maternal mortality sure was a bitch back in the day -- like this episode. We never do learn "Esau"/The Man-In-Black's name. There are all sorts of supernatural genre reasons why that's awesome, but there are more long-suffering-Lost-fan reasons why that sucks.
The babies grow and grow, as babies do. Adolescent Jacob is played by Kenton Duty (a.k.a. "Boy" in earlier recaps from this season). Adolescent "Esau" is played by Ryan Hanson Bradford, who (in this episode), is more a looker than an actor. CJ keeps a tight rein on her boys. They're even afraid to let her know they're playing a game (Backgammon) that "Esau" found on the beach.
One day, the boys run across other men on the island. When they tell "Mom" about it, she says that men "come, fight, destroy, corrupt; it always ends the same," and the boys should totally stay away from them. This is what I shall tell my daughter. At some point in there, CJ shows them a magical passage from which emanates a beautiful golden light. Every man has a bit of this beautiful light in him, but they always want more, and that's a bad thing, because... something. Men cannot take the light, but they can try, and if they try they can put it out. If the light goes out on the island, it goes out everywhere. Isn't everything much clearer, now? CJ has protected this place, but can't do so forever. One of the boys will have to take over for her.
Soon thereafter, the ghost of Claudia appears while Jacob and "Esau" are playing Backgammon. But only "Esau" can see her, because he's "special." He follows her to a camp where her people are -- the men CJ said were bad -- the people who were on Claudia's ship. Once "Esau" understands that the island isn't all there is to the world, he wants to return from whence he came. "Esau" tries to get Jacob to leave with him and join the proto-Others, but Jacob is pure, good, and short-bus stupid. CJ tells "Esau" he'll never be able to leave the island, but "Esau" says that's bull, and he'll prove it one day. And somewhere in there, CJ reveals she's given the boys the gift of immortality. Also, she reveals they'll never be able to hurt one another.
When "Esau" grows into Titus Welliver, he and his "people" start building the magic donkey wheel. This displeases CJ, so she bashes "Esau's" head against the cave wall, but he doesn't die, because she made him immortal. When he wakes, his whole village has been burnt down and everyone's dead. Soon thereafter, "Esau" kills his mother, like you do, which leads to a fight between him and Mark Pellegrino's Jacob. Jacob thrashes the shit out of "Esau" and sends him down the river into the beautiful golden light. "Esau" emerges as Smokey. Jacob finds his human corpse, brings it back to his "mother's" rape cave and lays them side by side. He tucks the white and black stones from the Backgammon set in with his dead family, for good measure. CJ and "Esau" are Adam and Eve. Expect me to call all sorts of shenanigans in the recap.
This all leads to a flashback-forward-back. Remember, yonks ago, when Charlie stepped on a beehive? Locke told him to stay still; Charlie failed; the bees went bonkers -- all in order to get Jack and Kate to rip off their shirts? Remember how they then found the Adam and Eve skeletons? Well, the writers think we're taking a bus even shorter than Jacob's, so they show us the whole thing again, just in case we didn't get that CJ and "Esau" are our Adam and Eve.
And? That's pretty much it. Somewhere in there -- somewhere before her death -- CJ gives Jacob a drink, and by doing so, she establishes him as Island Protector -- at least until his replacement arrives. I'm sure there are other things too -- other things which (at the moment) interest me far less than a good night's sleep. The whole episode left me feeling like there was no episode this week. I'll think on it long and hard before the recap, but right now, my reaction is a decided Meh.
"I wanna do my job. I wanna suck every morsel of meat off this experience before it's over." -- Allison Janney as CJ Cregg, The West Wing.
"I'm sorry you had to see me like that." -- Terry O'Quinn as Faucke, Lost.
"To Hell with this. I'm going to bed." -- Cindy McLennan, TWoP.
I'm starting the full recap, now. Until then, please grade the episode in the "forums, where we'd never leave corpses lying around to rot in our rape caves.
Watch a video recap of this episode of Lost.
Watch scenes from the episode here, then see what the cast of Lost should do ! And check back soon for that recap!
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