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We finally get a Jin and Sun-centric episode, but on the island -- in the reality in which it matters to me right now -- they never catch a glimpse of each other. Suffice it to say, I'm a little bitter, but I'm holding that in check for now. What did you think? Click on that right up there, and let me know. And now, let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up....
Sideways L.A. Reality: After deplaning from Oceanic 815, Sun Paik and Jin Soo Kwon check into their L.A. hotel and make a big stink about having separate rooms, because "no marry." But when Jin leaves his room (842) at 11:30 PM to visit Sun, and tells her he's going to the restaurant to deliver the watch Mr. Paik gave him, Sun starts unbuttoning buttons on that frigging beige cardigan, and Jin? He doesn't mind in the slightest. They end up in bed. The morning, Sun suggests they run away together and says she has something important to tell Jin, but she's interrupted by Keamy's knock on her door. Keamy wants the 25 grand Mr. Paik had Jin carry over from Korea. There's only one problem -- Jin doesn't have it, because Customs is turning it over to the Feds (even though, I think, Customs = the Feds). Since Keamy and Omar (not Omer) don't speak Korean, and Jin and Sun don't (seem to) speak English, Keamy bitches about being trapped in a "Godzilla movie" because he's just that special, and then orders Omar to bring in that guy that knows something like nine languages -- MIKHAIL! And? Sideways Mikhail has both eyes. He also looks ten years younger, and what's up with that?
On Keamy's orders, Mikhail takes Sun to the bank. She'll hit up her personal account to give Keamy the 25K he's expecting. But once at the bank, Sun and Mikhail learn that Mr. Paik not only knew about Sun's secret account, he somehow used his muscle to get the bank to transfer the funds into one of his accounts. Sun's balance? Zero. That's probably just as well. Paik was paying Keamy the 25K to kill Jin, because you so don't mess with the boss's daughter. Once at the restaurant, Keamy and Omar (not Omer) tie up Jin and leave him in the restaurant's walk-in. Jin hears Sayid shoot Keamy and his minions and raises a ruckus. Sayid finds Jin in the walk-in, like we already saw, but he doesn't free him. Instead, Sayid slips a razor into Jin's still-bound hands, wishes him luck and takes off.
When Mikhail and Sun get to the restaurant, they see the carnage and find the dying -- but not dead yet -- Keamy. Sheesh, this guy dies harder than Rasputin. Anyhow, Jin appears and he and Mikhail struggle for a gun. It goes off, and the bullet hits Sun in the stomach, but Jin doesn't realize that until after he SHOOTS OUT MIKHAIL'S EYE! Once Jin realizes Sun has been hit, he scoops her up in his beautiful arms; she tells him she's pregnant; he carries her out.
Island Jacobites: Most of the Jacobites' story involves waiting on Lostaway Beach for Richard Alpert to return. Ben doubts he will, but Ilana is sure of it, because Jacob hasn't lied to her, yet. Sun, frustrated that no one is focused on helping her find Jin, retreats to her old garden to tidy things up. Faucke catches up with her there, and tries to tempt her into coming with him and reuniting with Jin. Sun freaks and runs -- straight into a tree. Later, Ben finds her, and while she can still understand English, she can no longer speak it. Back at the beach camp, Hurley and a reinvigorated Richard return. When Richard gives everyone their marching orders (he wants to disable the plane), Sun tells off the Jacobites -- in Korean -- for ignoring her need to get Jin. They can't understand her, since they don't speak Korean, but they get her general drift, just the same. Later, based on an experience he had when he was a Baby Doc, Jack brings Sun some paper and a pen -- hoping she can write in English, even though she cannot speak it. She can. We all breathe a sigh of relief.
Island Fauckers: Faucke leaves Sayid guarding the troops while he goes off to woo Sun over to his team. And while he's gone, Widmore's Commandos sneak into Camp Faucke, tranquilize the Fauckers, and nab Jin. When Faucke returns, he is devastated to learn Jin is gone. He and Sayid saddle up and head to Hydra Island to confront Widmore. But once they're there, we don't see Sayid, only Faucke. Faucke and Widmore have a pissing contest; Widmore denies kidnapping Jin; Faucke tells Widmore war is coming to the island and maybe just started, and then leaves. Widmore, by the way, very much has Jin -- in room 23, at the Hydra compound, but he's got a whole new approach to mind-control. He gives Jin Sun's digital camera that he found on Ajira 316. It's loaded with pictures of Sun and Ji Yeon which make both Jin and me cry, but shut up. Widmore says he too has a daughter, and tells Jin that if they don't stop Faucke from leaving the island, their daughters and everyone they know and love will cease to be.
Sawyer reminds Kate that he's not on Team Faucke or any other team, but he's got a feeling this is almost over. He's assuming Team Widmore took care of things. Just then, Faucke returns without Jin. In his own indirect way, Faucke lets Sawyer know that he's dispatched Sayid to find out what's in the locked room on Widmore's sub.
Team Widmore: It seems Zoe (Liz Laura Roslin Lemon) jumped the gun on nabbing Jin. Now Widmore has to improvise. He tells her to bring out the package from the sub. The package isn't a what. It's a who. DESMOND! Desmond was too heavily medicated on his trip over, so when Zoe and a crew member drag him off the sub, Desmond collapses on the dock. In the water, Sayid is waiting. He silently swims over to Des, and makes oh-so-meaningful eyes at him. Dun. Bad Robot.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Lost: In the Sideways Reality, Jin gets nabbed at U.S Customs with $25 grand in his suitcase, when anything over $10K must be declared. On the island, Richard freaks out on Hurley, until Hurley says the magic words: "Your wife sent me. [...] She says you have to stop the Man In Black. You have to stop him from leaving the island." Faucke sends Sawyer to Hydra Island, allegedly to do some recon on the Ajira flight 316 plane, but really, it's to scope out the sub and its occupants, particularly one Charles Widmore. Widmore's crew nabs Sawyer and takes him to the sub. Once in Widmore's quarters, Sawyer proposes a deal. He'll bring Faucke to Widmore's door, if Widmore will give him and his safe passage off the island.
NOW; Camp Faucke: Someone's watching the Fauckers through night vision goggles. We zero in on Sawyer and Kate. He hands her a cup of water but tells her to pretend it's cocoa. If we're pretending, James, make mine Kahlúa. When Faucke walks into view, there's a lot of static and the night vision cuts out. Now we're watching in living color as Faucke approaches Jin who is wrapping his leg. Since he reports that it still hurts. Faucke advises him to leave the bandage off for a while. "The air will do it some good." Doctors and wound specialists would disagree, but my Nana would totally agree and my Nana totally knew better, so in this one case, do what Faucke tells you, Jin. No wait. Maybe not. No offense, Nana, but usually, on this island, people heal right up. I'm thinking that's changed now that Jacob is dead. Also, I can't help but think about what Claire said about infection. Never mind, Jin. Keep wrapping your leg. Nana will understand.
Faucke cops a squat and asks if Sawyer filled Jin in on what he saw at the cliffs. Jin: "You mean the cave? The one with the names on the wall?" Faucke explains that most have been crossed off now. There are just a few left -- Kwon is one. Faucke just doesn't know which Kwon. What he does know that the only way "we" can leave the island is if all the uncrossed names go together. Jin: "But Sun is not here." Faucke: "You just take care of that leg. I'm working on it." Claire sits nearby -- all wig of wingnuttery, and ears.
Sideways; Airport: Customs releases Jin and returns to him his suitcase and watch. But the $25Gs? Federal law says they must confiscate it. To get it back, Jin must fill out the paperwork, and of course Jin-Soo "No English" Kwon, and Sun "No English" Paik really aren't up to that task. In Korean, Jin frets that he missed the meeting Pa Paik arranged for him. He explains to Sun that her father gave him the money to deliver along with the watch. Jin doesn't ask Pa Paik questions. At their hotel, Sun checks in and is given a beautiful ocean view suite on the 8th floor. Jin does his best pidgin English. "Two room. Two." The desk clerk is all, "Um..." Jin points at the vacant real estate on his ring finger. "No marry." The clerk finally gets it, and finds Jin's room -- number 842.
Camp Faucke: Faucke's leaving on an "errand." I don't think he's going to pick up the dry cleaning. He tells Sayid he'll be back in the morning and to keep an eye on the camp in his absence. Sayid, who remains extremely, terribly and awfully broken non sequiturs: "I don't feel anything -- anger, happiness... pain. I don't feel it any more." Faucke: "Maybe that's best, Sayid. It'll help you get through what's coming." That can't be good. Once Faucke leaves, Jin starts to pack up. Sawyer tries to stop him. "What are you doing, Hoss?" Jin's getting ready to run, "before that thing gets back." He can't understand why Sawyer's hanging around, listening to it. Sawyer swaggers. "I ain't listening to nobody." Jin is not impressed. He's waited long enough. He's going to find his wife. Except he's not. Just then a dart hits him in the neck. Sawyer's down . Also down: Sayid, Claire, Kate and all the rest of the Fauckers. Widmore's commandos pour into camp Faucke. Zoe and Baby Face Commando Seamus (Fred Kohler) hover over Jin, and determine he's the one they're looking for. DUN! Title card.
Jacobite Beach Resort and Casino: Frank and Miles play cards. Ilana cleans the weapons and again publicly confesses her faith in Jacob. Ben runs his mouth. The show continues to make fun of Hurley's weight. Like me, Sun is disgusted in this week's utter lack of progress, so she swans off to her overgrown garden, and when Jack follows in her wake, we learn all the tomatoes are dead. With revelations like that, how can people say we're not getting enough answers? The tomatoes are dead, people. It's all about the tomatoes. Here's something new. Sun doesn't care if Richard comes back. Or about being a candidate. All right -- new is stretching it. Anyhow, Jack tells her about the lighthouse mirrors and the names. He's lucky the tomatoes are dead or Sun would be throwing them at him right about now. She doesn't care about reason, purpose or destiny. "I just want you to go away and leave me alone." Over in Camp Faucke, Kate feels usurped and doesn't even know why.
Sideways: Now, allegedly, Sun is L.A. to do some shopping, and Jin is acting as her bodyguard. Apropos of little, apparently the Korean language has borrowed "shopping" and "shop" from English. I don't know why I love that, but I do. Anyhow, Jin knocks on Sun's hotel door to inform her he's going to the restaurant to deliver the watch. Sun points out that that's kind of dumb, since it's 11:30 PM, and then she pointedly unbuttons the top button of that ever-contentious beige cardigan and enjoys rubbing in the fact that Jin doesn't seem to mind much. And he minds even less as she undoes the rest of her buttons. I see her lacy bra. My teenage son pretends he doesn't. Now she's slipping off the entire sweater. Jin kisses her. Let's give them their privacy, since this is the only loving they're getting this week, in either reality. SIGH.
Jacobite Beach Resort and Casino Garden Patio: Sun cuts herself on a thorn which seems to be the right sort of blood magic to summon Faucke. He tells her Jin is over at Camp Faucke and he's just rearing to reunite them. Sun: "I don't believe you. You killed those people at the Temple." Faucke's reason for the carnage? "Those people were confused. They were lied to. They could have come with me. I'm giving you that choice right now." Sun rises, chooses, and runs the other way. Faucke follows. Run Sun. Run right into the safety of the COMMERCIAL.
Sun, who managed to run all through the break is still running, with Faucke closing in behind her. She makes the rookie mistake of looking over her shoulder to check his progress. Sun, look out for that... THWACK... tree. Sun's down!
Sideways; Sun's Hotel Room; Morning; Sun laze around in the afterglow shining down on their bed. She proposes that they run away together. She has a plan, but Jin's concerned because, "it's forbidden." I'm pretty sure what you did last night was forbidden too, Jin, but that didn't seem to stop you, and thank goodness, because look how pretty Daniel Dae Kim is with his shirt off. Why has he not been shirtless more often? No offense to Sawyer, but SCIENCE FACT: he's not nearly this buff and beautiful. In fact, I believe I heard Holloway make the same argument in some interview or another. Anyhow, Sun asks Jin if he wants to be with her or not. Of course he does. He loves her. Sun says that's good, because there's something he needs to know. Do we hear her say it? No, we do not, because frigging Keamy is at door. Jin hides in the bathroom as Sun puts on a robe and looks in the mirror for long enough to remind us that the Sideways folks have a mirror theme going on. When she opens the door to Keamy, he's all I'm a friend of your father's. Mind if I come in. I believe you've got something for me. I'm an obviously psychopathic goon. Why they hell would you have even opened the door when I knocked. Don't you know how to use a peep hole?
Island: Ben's out for a walk, when who should he stumble upon but the unconscious Mrs. Kwon. You mean Faucke didn't whisk her back to camp? Oh, that's fishy. When Sun comes to, Ben asks what happened to her. She seems to understand him, but can only answer him in Korean. Finally, Ben asks who did this to her. Sun says, "Locke."
Camp Faucke: Faucke returns to find the unconscious Fauckers minus one. He rouses Sayid, who comes back from being drugged much more easily on Craphole than he did in L.A. However, he can't offer Faucke any answers as to what happened other than, "We were attacked." Faucke's most concerned about his little, lost lamb. "Where's Jin?"
Hydra Station; Room 23: Jin's locked up so he starts to poke around like you do and flips a switch and instantly regrets it, because he's now being subjected to that disturbing mind control program poor Karl had to endure, long ago and far away. Thankfully, Jin doesn't have to sit there, strapped in, with his eyes pried open, so he shuts off this the switch ASAP. It's then that Zoe appears. She explains the Dharma Initiative's interest in subliminal messaging, and seems to know that Jin has some first hand experience with the Dharma Initiative, but he's not talking to her. She tells him to relax, and that he's safe, but when he tries to leave, she tasers him. Hardly relaxing or safe, Zoe. She wants to know about the island grid maps he signed off on, back in the '70s -- maps that seem to document various pockets of electromagnetic energy scattered about Craphole. Jin tells her if she wants answers, she'd better bring him to her boss. "I want to talk with Charles Widmore." Can it be -- did Sawyer share vital information with other characters? Nah, there must be some rational explanation. I'm thinking fairies. Anyhow, Jin is in luck, because I'm just certain Chuckles would like to talk to him, too.
Camp Faucke: Faucke wants to know if Sayid can swim. He can, so Faucke hands him a gun and tells him to wrap it in plastic, to keep it dry. They're taking the outrigger out on a little excursion. It's then that Claire finds her voice. She overheard the conversation about the names on the cave wall and wants to know if hers was there too, because she wants off this accursed island. Faucke says it wasn't there, which is wrong, but I don't think it's an out and out lie, in this case. I think it's just shorthand. Littleton was on the wall, but it was crossed out. Claire frets that Faucke doesn't need her. He assures her that he very much does. He also tells her there's plenty of room for everyone. Yeah, right. I'm thinking there's plenty of room in his crazy, hybrid psyche constructed of all the people who have ever died or arrived pre-deaded on Craphole. Claire points out that when she gets back, Aaron's not going to know her, since he thinks Kate is his mother. She wants to know if Kate's name is on the wall. Faucke says, "No Claire, it isn't, not anymore." We never saw Kate's name -- crossed out or not -- on the cave walls. I don't know if Faucke knows about the lighthouse, but I can't trouble myself with that stuff at this point or I'll go mad(der). Anyhow, Faucke says he needs Kate to help get people on the Ajira plane. And then his true self shines through. "Once she does -- then whatever happens... happens." I need a DUN here, even though there isn't one, so DUN! He's screwing with poor Claire so badly, and he doesn't give a rat's patootie about either her or Kate, except their use as blunt weapons, and possibly bait. Bad Smokey. No fish biscuits for you.
As Sayid and Faucke get ready for their expedition, Sawyer wants to know what's going on. When he finds out he's excluded from a Faucke-filled boat ride, he lashes out, as is his wont. "What do you need a boat for? Can't you just turn into smoke and fly your ass over the water." Faucke: "Do you think if I could do that, I'd still be on this island?" Sawyer snarks, "No, 'cause that would be ridiculous." That's actually a mythology moment hidden in there. Enjoy it, because it's not like this episode is overflowing with them. Anyhow, Sawyer points out that he thought Faucke was trying to avoid Widmore. Faucke looks him in the eye. "They took one of our people, James, so I'm going to get him back." COMMERCIAL.
Sideways: Sun kicks Jin's shoes under her bed and brings Keamy the watch, but Keamy's all about the Benjamins -- just different Benjamins than the one Benjamin who most concerned him when he was on Craphole. "Your body guard is supposed to give me money. Where is Mr. Kwon?" Sun: "No English." Just then, there's another knock on the suite door. Keamy gently pushes Sun onto her bed and tells her to sit. When he opens the door, Omar (not Omer) reports that Jin isn't in his room, which we already knew, because he's hiding in Sun's loo. Back in the bedroom, Keamy notices that there are two champagne glasses left over from last night's festivities and tells Omar to check the bathroom. Omar draws his gun and I'd be all worried about him shooting Jin, but this is clearly taking place earlier on the Sideways timeline than when these goons grabbed Sayid, so sit back, relax, and enjoy some more shirtless Jin.
Keamy and Omar must be blind, because even in the face of this loveliness, all they can think about is the money. Keamy talks nice and loudly, because that will help the Korean people understand English, right? I can't tell you exactly what Sun and Jin say to each other here, because in addition to the hideous V countdown promo that haunted this episode, and besides the fact that I don't speak even pidgin Korean, we were in the middle of a (flooding) State of Emergency when the episode aired, and my local ABC affiliate was running a banner across the bottom of the screen to tell all the people without windows in their homes that it was raining a lot. Basically, Sun says she has money and can get it and give it to Keamy. Keamy doesn't like them talking to each other. "Stop it. I feel like I'm in a damned Godzilla movie." He asks Omar if Danny's Russian friend who speaks like nine different languages, speaks Korean. We know who he means, but Omar is kind enough to confirm it for us. "Mikhail." One of his nine languages just happens to be Korean, so Keamy dispatches Omar to get him. After Omar walks out, Keamy addresses Sun and Jin. "Now put your damn clothes on." And we jump forward to that sad, sad time, in which Jin is wearing a shirt, and Sun has traded in her beautiful baby blue bathrobe for less lovely duds.
Suite; Living Room: With Mikhail's help, Sun explains that the money was taken at Customs. Keamy says that's not his problem. Sun has money though, and will gladly pay it to Keamy. Mikhail will take her to the bank while Keamy takes Jin to the restaurant. Jin has only one concern. He pleads with Keamy not to reveal to Pa Paik that he and Sun are involved. Keamy assures them their secret is safe with him. "Just bring me the money and we can all live happily ever after, all right?" Mikhail doesn't have to act as interpreter here, because Keamy's strategy of talking really loudly seems to have paid off. Who knew?
Jacobite Beach Resort and Casino: Jack examines Sun and applies a wet compress to her head." Ben is miffed that Ilana, who is giving him the stink-eye, suspects he's the one who conked Sun on the noggin. "What? Oh, for the fourth time, I was gathering mangos and she was already unconscious when I found her. Why won't you believe me?" Ilana deadpans: "Because you're speaking." Hee. Jack suspects Sun has a slight concussion, and confirms that while she can understand English, she can only speak Korean. Miles: "She hits her head and forgets English -- we're supposed to buy that?" Frank: "Asks the man who communes with the dead." Heh.
Jack suspects that Sun has traumatic aphasia." Popular Mechanics' Erin McCarthy thinks that's highly unlikely. I think we're on a magical island where anything goes. Here are my other, more considered guesses: either the Sideways Reality is bleeding through to this one; or (and I guess that can be an "and/or") Faucke messed with Sun's mind. Verbally isolating her from the rest of the Jacobites is going to leave her more desperate to find Jin than ever -- perhaps even desperate enough to join the Fauckers. Right?
After Jack reassures Sun that her aphasia is probably temporary and that she'll be okay, Ilana smiles, but not because she cares what language her Schrödinger's candidate speaks. She's smiling because Richard has come back to the Jacobite Beach Resort, with Hurley in tow. Richard gets right down to business. "Pack your bags. We're leaving." I'd call it a plan, but all these people have been doing since September 2004 is wandering from one side of the island to the -- but at least it's a change of scenery. And so is this...
Shores of Hydra Island: Faucke gets out of the outrigger, but Sayid, who remember, can swim, is nowhere in sight. As Faucke approaches the porta-pylons, the Widmorons fire at him from the tree line. Faucke's all cheerful and calm. "Easy, friend. I come in peace." Isn't that what the Martians used to say in old Sci-Fi movies (that and Sawyer's "Take me to your leader")? The Widmorons march Faucke along porta-pylon row (he's on one side, they're on the other). Finally, Widmore arrives and greets his guest. "You know who I am?" Faucke does, because he's been around forever, and has John Locke's memories, to boot. Widmore notes: "Obviously you're not John Locke. Everything else I know is a combination of myth, ghost stories and jungle noises in the night." Faucke: "I think you know more than that judging by these pylons." Widmore wants to know why Faucke is there. Faucke says, "You took one of my people -- Jin Kwon." Widmore claims he has no idea what Faucke's talking about. I assumed it was a lie at first, but... well, I'll let that wait. Faucke starts to leave and then reconsiders. He turns back to Charles. "A wise man once said that war was coming to this island..." which is what Widmore told original recipe Locke, back in Tunisia. As Widmore lets this sink in, Faucke adds, "I think it just got here." No, silly, that's just a COMMERCIAL.
Jacobite Beach Resort and Casino: When Jack asks Richard where they're going, Richard asks Ben where Locke is. Ben says he's on Hydra Island, which is funny, because Ben knows Locke did this to Sun, right here on Craphole, and yet he also knows Locke said he'd be on Hydra Island, and it's accidentally and temporarily true that Locke is on Hydra Island, and probably will be true again, but still.... Okay, maybe it's just funny to me. Anyhow, Richard knows that's where Frank landed the Ajira plane and points out that Faucke wants to leave the island and the plane is his way off.
How come everyone acts like that plane is airworthy? It didn't crash, but it malfunctioned in a big-ass way. Whatever, Richard says they're going to stop Faucke. Miles turns to Hurley. "This is your fault, isn't it?" Hurley: "Sorta." Tch. No sir. Ilana wants to know how they'll stop Faucke. Richard says they'll destroy the plane, and that's when Sun flips her poor, concussed lid. She reads the Jacobites the riot act, in Korean. It amounts to this. What kind of asshat who, when he finds himself stranded upon a desert island, destroys the only known possible (if less than sure) way off that desert island? And further more, she doesn't give a hoot about plans, candidacy and walking dead men. She wants to find her husband, not save the damned world. In Korean, she adds, "Understand this. I'm not going anywhere." Even without an interpreter, she does a damned fine job of getting her point across with facial expressions, hand gestures and a particularly pissy tone of voice. Go Sun! Get down with your bad self.
Sideways; Bank: With Mikhail's assistance, Sun learns that her secret, private, personal account was closed and the funds were transferred to one of her father's accounts. Some people have found this problematic, but the man's a mobster that has government officials paying him off. I'm pretty sure he found a way to exert his muscle on a bank employee to get what he wants. Mikhail doesn't spell it out, but he heavily implies to Sun that Pa Paik must have known about her affair with Jin, all along.
Restaurant: Omar bumps Jin's head as he throws him in the walk-in. While Keamy scolds him for his carelessness, he tends to Jin's wound and then tells Omar to go get the Arab guy. Omar: "Hey, I'm an Arab." Keamy could not care less. "Just go pick him up." He then duct tapes Jin to a chair, in case he figures out the master plan and freaks. "I don't think you realize how unhappy Mr. Paik was when he found out when you were doing his little girl. Well you know the $25 grand that you were supposed to deliver. That was my fee -- for popping you. From what I hear, anyone who works for Paik knows the cardinal rule: Hands off the boss's daughter. But you -- you couldn't resist her, could you?" He gently pokes Jin's pec. "The heart wants what the heart wants" Jin can't speak English, so he doesn't quip that he feels like he's stuck in a Woody Allen movie. Instead, the poor bugger says, "Thank you," which makes no sense at all. Keamy then apologizes as he duct tapes Jin's mouth shut. "Some people just aren't meant to be together." And some people better just shut up before I have Sayid come in and shoot them to death -- KEAMY.
Hydra Station: Widmore finds Zoe and upbraids her for taking Jin ahead of schedule. I didn't pick up on it when I first watched, but apparently Chuckles didn't know Jin had been captured until Faucke revealed it. Widmore's all, "This was not supposed to happen for days." Zoe explains Jin was leaving Camp Faucke, so they grabbed him early. Widmore tells her they should have let him leave and then grabbed Jin in the jungle, when the time was right. Zoe points out that perhaps he should have hired a mercenary rather than a geophysicist. Do you think she knows about Keamy visit to Craphole, and the secondary protocol? I like to think so, because that was a good dig. Widmore takes a deep breath and tells her, "What's done is done." He needs her to get the package from the sub and take it to the infirmary. "Can you do that for me please, Zoe?" She whispers, "Yeah, sure," and walks off.
Once she's gone, Widmore turns to his attention to Jin and apologizes for everything that's been done to him. Jin already knows who he is and wants to know why he's been brought to the Hydra Station. Widmore gives him Sun's camera his crew found on the Ajira plane and shows him pictures of Sun and Ji Yeon and I am not crying, shut up. Widmore knows what buttons to push, doesn't he? He tells Jin that he too has a daughter and knows what it's like to be kept apart from her. "I understand. The one thing you want is to be reunited with your wife and daughter. But, it would be short lived if that... thing masquerading as John Locke ever got off this island. [...] Everyone we know and love would simply cease to be. I came here to make sure that doesn't happen." Jin wants to know: "How?" Widmore: "Come with me. I think it's time for you to see the package." Jin: "What package?" Widmore and a Fandom Chorus: "It's not a what. It's a who."
Sideways; Restaurant Walk-In Fridge: Once Jin hears it all go down as Sayid kills Keamy and his goons, he kicks and makes as much noise as he can. As we already saw weeks ago, Sayid untapes his mouth and asks "Who are you?" When Jin says, "No English," Sayid is prepared to leave him there, so Jin pleads as best he can. "No. Free. Free. Free." Sayid's not thrilled with the idea of freeing this guy, so he grabs a razor lying to the duct tape on a shelf, slips it in Jin's still bound hands and wishes him luck.
Mikhail brings Sun to the restaurant. They find everyone is dead -- EXCEPT FRICKING KEAMY. He dies harder than Rasputin. Jin, who grabbed a gun from somewhere stands right behind Mikhail, and nudges at his neck with the weapon. In Korean, Jin tells Mikhail to drop his weapon or he'll kill him. Mikhail finds this unbelievable. "If you were the person who did this, you would have killed me already." The two men struggle for Jin's gun. Jin warns Sun to get out of the way. A shot fires, but neither man is hit. They continue to struggle until Jin overcomes Mikhail and shoots his eye out -- which -- yay, whatever happened happened! Oh, but wait, it seems Sun has been shot in the gut. Jin scoops her up in his lovely arms and tells her she'll be okay as he carries her out. It's only then that Sun gets to tell him what she tried to tell him when they were still basking in the afterglow. She's pregnant! Yes, that's curious, since pre-island Jin was shooting blanks back in Korea, but with Craphole sunk to the bottom of the sea, there are a lot of differences in this reality, so why not this one?
Jacobite Beach Resort; Seaside; Night: Sun is sitting by a small campfire on the beach when Jack arrives. I miss their old friendship, so moments like this are sweet. He tells her he remembers a patient who woke up from an accident and couldn't talk, but a wise nurse pointed out that he might be able to write, and he was. He gives Sun a pad of paper and a pen and asks if she'll give it a try. Sun writes: "Yes." Jack does his best to console her by pointing out that although it will take her a little longer to get her point across, at least she has her "voice" back, now. He then gives her another gift. "I went back out to your garden to see if he was there. He wasn't, but I found this." He reaches in his backpack and takes something out. He removes the cloth wrapped around this mystery gift and laughs as he holds it up for Sun to see. "That's one stubborn tomato. I guess no one told it [that] it was supposed to die." Just like Sun. Just like all our Lostaways. Aw. It really is all about tomatoes.
Sun, who acts like she has an endless supply of paper writes largely on a new page. "Sorry." She adds a little frowny face for effect. Jack smiles as he tells her not to worry about it. "You're not the first person to tell me to leave 'em alone." He and Sun share a quiet laugh, and then Jack asks, "What did Locke say to you?" Sun writes that he said he has Jin. When Jack asks Sun why she didn't go with him, she writes -- SOMETHING THAT IS ALMOST COMPLETELY OBSCURED BY THE FRIGGING V countdown graphic. Stabby stabby. Kill kill. I think it reads something like, "I don't trust him." Jacks asks, "Do you trust me?" Sun considers him for a moment and then nods. Jack nods back at her in appreciation. "Sun, come with us and I'll help you find Jin. I'll help you find him and I'll get you both on that plane and as far away from this island as you can get. I promise." Oh, Jack. He holds out his sandy hand to her. Sun grabs it, and Jack gives her a teary smile in thanks, but remember you Jears-Hounds, it doesn't count 'til his cheeks are wet.
Camp Faucke: Sawyer breaks Kate out of her daydreams, and while they're chatting she asks him why he's not worried. Sawyer says he is. "I'm just really good at pretending that I ain't." He says he has a feeling that this is almost over, though. "'Cause if Locke rode over there on the boat with Sayid, then Charlie Widmore blew them right out of the water." Kate wants to know, "And what if he didn't?" Sawyer: "Well then, we're screwed, six ways from Sun..." They're interrupted by Faucke's return. Sawyer sighs. "Aw Hell." Close your eyes and think of England, James. Kate notes that Faucke is alone. Sawyer walks up to him and says, "I thought you went over there to find Jin." Faucke explains that "they" said they didn't have him -- not that he believes that. Sawyer asks where Sayid is. Faucke: "When you were over there, James, you mentioned Widmore had someone guarding a room on the submarine -- guarding something they didn't want you to see. [...] I don't like secrets."
Hydra Island: Sayid swims up to the dock, but keeps his head low and watches as Zoe and Seamus help our very special package -- DESMOND -- of the sub. The fandom dies at the (lack of) shock. It seems that geophysicists don't make good pharmacists or bartenders, because Desmond's had way too much sedative -- or MacCutcheon's. He stumbles and belly flops to the dock -- face hanging over the water. He spies Sayid and is too out of it to say anything aloud, but his face is all WTF. When Zoe and Seamus come over to get Des to his feet Sayid stays out of view. As they drag Desmond off, he stares back at Sayid, who looks at him like just another ant, crawling in his path. Dun. Title card. Bad Robot.
Even after much reflection, I'm frustrated that Sun and Jin still haven't been reunited. At some point, dragging out things like that, and the (totally non-startling) revelation that Desmond was the package in the sub, seems pointless. Look Show, nobody's going to stop watching at this point. Stop stringing us along. Make things happen. Reveal things. Sheesh, watch any one episode of The Vampire Diaries and see how it's done. There are only a handful of episodes left. Make them a little more worth our while, yeah?
Oh wait, I have a either a nit to pick or a point to ponder. Is it just me, or is there a day's difference in the Sideways timeline between Sayid's episode and this one? Sayid came to L.A. on 9/22/2004. Omer (not Omar) got jumped on 9/23. Sayid didn't get grabbed by Omar (not Omer) until at least 9/24. Unless Jin and Sun spent upwards of 36 hours in Customs, which seems unlikely, then Jin and Sun arrived in L.A. on 9/22 and by the time Customs released them and they settled in at the hotel, it was 11:30 PM on 9/22. Keamy grabbed them on the morning of 9/23, sending Sun to the bank with Mikhail and taking Jin to the restaurant. When Sun and Mikhail return from the bank, Sayid has already shot up the restaurant and Jin has escaped from the walk-in. I hate like hell to think the show was so careless about frigging TIMELINES at this late date, but this week, I'm nearly fresh out of faith. My only half-assed theory is this: Widmore says Zoe grabbed Jin ahead of schedule. Perhaps, by acting too quickly, Jin's Island kidnapping had a ripple effect on the Sideways Reality. Do I just need a good clue-sticking, or am I onto something? What do you think?
I'm ending it here, this week, because in his off hours, shirtless Jin keeps his shoes under our bed in the forums, where we have champagne on ice, and will never open the door to Martin "Die Hardest" Keamy -- not while our moderator staff still breathes.
See the four big Lost mysteries that need to be resolved before the finale.
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Cindy McLennan enjoyed aspects of the ride this week, but she felt every pothole, and may need her shocks replaced, yet the only mechanic in town is played by Jeff Kober, so screw that. Let her know what you think at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter.