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What in the world was that? Don't get me wrong -- I gobbled it up like candy, but summarizing it is well beyond my ken. What's more, it's my birthday, so you're getting it quick and dirty tonight, my friends. Just like Juliet. Ahem...
The episode begins with Sawyer, Miles, Juliet and Jin where we last saw them -- above the well to the donkey wheel chamber, but as we saw three weeks ago, the well is gone, and Sawyer's trying to steady a rope that's coming straight up out of the ground. After Juliet calms Sawyer down, Miles notices a statue in the distance. From the rear, it looks like it could be Horus -- this must be Four-Toes, yeah? They cut to the scene with Locke pushing the donkey wheel, but Christian's notably absent. Cut back to Sawyer and crew who experience a FLASH they liken to an earthquake. When they spool down, the well is back, but it's been filled in. Jin wants to know what they should do now. Sawyer says they'll wait for Locke as long as it takes. Miles and Juliet notice their headaches are gone and their noses have stopped bleeding (ditto for Sawyer) and credit the now-gone Locke for "stopping it."
Three years later (1977): at the Pearl Station (I think) two security guards and a woman watch as a drunken man starts blowing up trees with dynamite out by the pylons. The guards hustle the woman out and head out to tell LaFleur, who's not just the Dharma Initiative's Chief of Security -- he's also SAWYER! Sawyer picks up Miles (Enos) and goes out and rescues the drunken man -- Horace Goodspeed -- and brings him home to Amy (not to Olivia, who isn't even mentioned in this episode). Amy and Horace had a fight earlier about "Paul," but while Horace is passed out on the couch and Amy tries to explain this all to Sawyer, she goes into labor.
Three years earlier (1974): Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and Jin find Daniel in the jungle, saying, "Not gonna tell her. Won't do it. Not gonna tell her. Won't do it." The gang finally gets him to spill that Charlotte died and then disappeared, but Daniel's a pretty broken puppy at this point, so that's all they get from him. Making their way to the beach, the Strand-aways come upon a murder in progress. Two Others have killed a Dharma man (Paul) and are about to kill the Dharma woman with him (Amy) so Sawyer confronts them, and then Juliet and he take them out. She totally has his back. The woman freaks and says they have to bury the Others to preserve the truce. Sawyer and crew help and then they carry Paul's corpse back to Old New Otherton. When they reach the pylons, Amy pretends to turn off the sonar fence, and walks through it, but she's wearing earplugs. When they try to walk through, they're rendered unconscious. When Sawyer wakes, Horace questions him about his presence on the island, and informs him that he and his friends will be deported via submarine to Tahiti, first thing in the AM. Then Richard Alpert comes to camp, which triggers alarms everywhere -- probably a good idea. Horace tries to fake him out that he doesn't know anything about any Others, but Sawyer talks to Richard straight, explains he killed Richard's men in self-defense, and when they're alone, he drops little buzz phrases like "Where did you bury the Jughead bomb," and "I'm waiting for John Locke." He talks Richard into maintaining the truce, but has to hand Paul's corpse over to him, as a way to satisfy Richard's people for the losses they've suffered. Amy doesn't like it, but she goes along with it, because it's what Paul would have wanted. She removes a wooden cross or ankh pendant from his neck. Horace then tells Sawyer he and his people can stay two weeks until the sub after the sub. Juliet wants to leave now, but Sawyer talks her into staying the two weeks, because otherwise, who's going to have his back? Aw.
Three years later (1977): there's no time to take Amy off-island in the sub to deliver, which is usual island protocol, so Sawyer drags Juliet out of retirement (she seems to be working as a mechanic right now) because Amy needs a C-section. Although Juliet is loath to deliver another baby on Craphole, just to have it and its mother die, Sawyer lets her know how much he believes in her, and she gives it a go. The baby and mother both survive the birth. Hurray! Meanwhile, Jin updates Sawyer that Grid 133 is complete and there's still no sign of "our people." And Daniel spies wee toddler Charlotte. She waves to him, and he breaks a little bit more.
After stopping by to see Juliet, and giving her a flower and some pretty nice smoochies, and after exchanging I love yous with her (!!!), Sawyer goes to see Horace, who is sleeping it off. He wakes him to tell him the good news is he's a daddy and the bad news is he missed the birth. He wonders why Horace and Amy were fighting over Paul. Horace ran across Paul's ankh in one of their drawers and he realized it's only been three years since Paul died. He asks Sawyer if that's long enough to get over someone. Sawyer tells him about the thing he had for this girl once. He had a shot at her but didn't take it. For a long while, he laid in bed at night, wondering if he made a mistake and could ever stop thinking about her. Three years later? He can barely remember what she looks like. She's just gone and ain't never coming back. So yeah, Sawyer thinks three years is absolutely enough time to get over someone. Ha ha ha. Just you wait, Jimmy my boy.
The morning, Sawyer and Juliet lie in bed. She's shirtless and he's not, and what's up with that, Show? Please note that she's spooning him -- so even in her sleep she has his back. The phone rings, so Sawyer wakes and gets it. We hear Sawyer say, "Wait. What? No! Don't bring 'em in. Just meet me in the north valley." He hangs up. Juliet wants to know who called, so Sawyer just says that it was Jin, and everything's okay, he just has to go. He drives a Jeep out to meet Jin. Hurley gets out of the passenger seat. Then we see Jack. Sawyer takes off his glasses and finally, she walks out from behind Hurley. It's Kate. And from the look on Sawyer's face, I'm pretty sure he remembers every freckle. DUN! Bad robot.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Sawyer and the Strand-aways con their way into the Dharma Initiative and wackiness ensues. ...And heartache, terror, and of course, confusion. Seriously, with all the jumps back and forth in this episode, I feel like it should come with a warning -- like the kind you see on carnival rides.
Attention Riders: Due to the nature of this ride, backpacks, purses and other loose items are not permitted. Glasses must be secured. If you have a history of recent surgery, heart trouble/high blood pressure, inner ear infection, neck trouble, back trouble, or any other condition that may be aggravated by riding, or if you are pregnant, you should consult your physician before boarding. TWoP is not responsible for lost items. Keep all parts of your body inside ride unit at all times. Shirts are required on all rides. Unless you are James Sawyer. Ahem. Now, let's see what it's all about.
Previously on Lost: Sawyer bitch-slaps Daniel, then orders him to talk. Daniel says they should think of the island as a record on a turntable and now that record is skipping. Whatever Ben did at the Orchid Station must have dislodged them... from time. Sawyer yells in frustration. Charlotte cries and collapses. There's a ginormous flash which leaves Charlotte at death's door. Daniel grimaces -- I think that's his grimace of grief. Locke tells everyone they have to go back to the Orchid. He says this is all happening because of everyone who left the island. He thinks if he can get them back, it will stop, and he name-checks Kate, just to get Sawyer's attention. At the well where the Orchid will one day be, Locke lowers himself down, and while he's descending, there's a flash. Sawyer holds onto the rope for dear life, but Locke falls...
The boundary between the previouslies and tonight's episode is a little muddy. Everything with Locke happens the same. He breaks his leg and makes his way to the frozen donkey wheel. The only difference is that we cannot see Christian Shephard this time, and Locke is never shown speaking to him. Above ground, after the flash, the well is gone, but Sawyer continues to hold the rope (which leads into solid earth) until Miles points out the current situation and says, "I think you can let go of that now." Sawyer tries to dig out Locke with his bare hands, but Juliet talks sense into him. They're wondering when they are and figure it's sometime before the well was built. Miles catches sight of something in the distance then adds, "Way before." The object of his attention seems to be the rear end of old Four Toes, but he's no longer just a paw. From the rear, the statue seems like it could be one of Horus.
Meanwhile, in the frozen donkey wheel chamber, Locke screams for James, or anyone who can hear him, but there's no reply (not even from Christian). He struggles to the wheel, gets it back on track and pushes it (and himself) to the wall. Before the above-ground Strand-aways can spend too long thinking about Horus, there's another flash -- the most violent so far. Afterwards, Miles describes it as being more like an earthquake, because he's a drama queen. Sawyer spies that the well is back and dives in, grabbing hold of the rope at the last second, only to realize that the well has been filled in. Juliet realizes her headache is gone. Miles says, "Mine is, too, and my nose isn't bleeding anymore." Juliet thinks "it's" all over -- that John "did it." Jin wants to know, "Now what?" Sawyer says, "Now we wait for them to come back." When Juliet asks how long, he says, "As long as it takes," because yes, this episode is going to continue to be Just. That. Dramatic.
Three years later: Someone loads a reel-to-reel tape of Tony Orlando and Dawn's song, "Candida." Who writes a song about yeast? Seriously. It's no "Knock Three Times" or "Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Ole Oak Tree," I'll tell you what. I was like 5 years old when "Ribbon" came out. I'm not even going to tell you how it used to make me cry, because this is Television Without Pity, but shut up. I mean: Bus driver, please look for me, 'cause I couldn't bear to see what I might see... Sigh. They'd frigging better not play "Sweet Gypsy Rose" until they're ready to tell us where Rose and Bernard are (we all miss ya; every night we kiss your picture), and she'd best not be stripping. What? Get back on the subject. But that was sort of about Lost. Tch, okay.
So someone loads up a reel-to-reel and we see people soon identified as Jerry (a Dharma Initiative security dude with the appropriate Arrow Station patch on his coveralls) and Rosie, shaking their collective groove thang. A less fun D.I. security guy named Phil comes in, and accuses them of having a hootenanny, but I'm thinking it's halfway between a gathering and a shindig. The important thing to note here is that Phil's groove thang hasn't been shaken in far too long, and there's a disturbing lack of brie, but Rosie did just bring some brownies. Phil's all "We're on the clock, man" and Jerry's like, "The polar bears are gonna figure a way out of their cages?" And then, Rosie notices something on one of the monitors. That something is an apparently drunken man, out by the pylons of the big, sonic fence o'death. They zoom in on him and realize the drunkard is Horace, whom we've met here and more posthumously, here.
Horace must have forgotten that while sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, a stick of dynamite never is, because he's jammed the latter into his mouth. He lights it, launches it and blows up a baby tree. Oh, tree. Jerry and Phil freak, hustle Rosie out of the station and debate about whether or not they should call their boss -- LaFleur. They decide it's more likely that LaFleur will kill them for not waking him if Horace blows himself up, so they run off to his cabin. Phil knocks and we hear a grumpy, "What?" from inside, about what you'd expect at 3:00 AM. They apologize, explaining they've got a situation outside the pylons. It's half past a situation and on its way to crisis, if you ask me, but they don't. The still-faceless LaFleur wants to know what kind of situation they're talking about. They tell him about Horace's drunken antics and we zoom out to see LaFleur, who is actually Sawyer. We know for sure, because besides seeing his pretty face, we hear him say, "Son of a bitch." Accept no substitutes. Sawyer grabs a Dharma Initiative Jumpsuit with "LaFleur, Head of Security" embroidered on it, joins them outside, slams the door, and we fade to black. I'll just note here that he's the only person whose last name is on his jumpsuit.
All right, I took some leeway, there. Sue me. My best TV gal will turn 12 the day this recap is published, and I just can't let it pass by unmarked. The episode aired on my birthday; the recap's being published on hers. I'm not 12, but sometimes that's hard to prove. I wonder if someone did an enjoining spell. You don't care about my Buffy obsession, though, so I'll ask you something that I wondered about during the commercials. Fellas, do you really need to be told to seek medical attention once you've been suffering from priapism for four hours? Please don't e-mail me your answers. Consider this rhetorical. It's just... four hours? Aren't you bragging through most of the first hour, getting slightly concerned as it draws to a close, and driving yourself to the hospital immediately thereafter? Gah. So anyhow, Sawer takes one of the D.I.'s VW buses, even though you know that good old boy's a Chevy Van man, and he picks up Miles, who greets him with a, "Hey, Boss." Sawyer returns with a, "Hey Enos," and I have to thank reader Joyce for clue-sticking me about that Dukes Of Hazard reference, because I just figured "Enos" was only Miles' cover name. Oh Sawyer, I love your nicknames. He makes sure "Enos" has his zapper with them, because their fearless leader is loaded and out blowing up trees. And everyone throughout the episode makes it very clear that Horace doesn't drink, so just remember Horace doesn't drink, even though it doesn't really amount to anything. I just don't want to keep repeating it. Sawyer tells Miles they're going to keep the whole incident on the down-low.
Once they reach their errant drunk, Sawyer says he'll bring Horace home and that Miles should put out the fire and pack up the dynamite. Miles, bless him, says, "Why don't you put out the fire, pack up, and... and I'll take him home?" So he's talked to Dr. Arzt's bits somewhere along the way, I see. But Sawyer holds the trump card. "You wanna tell Amy where we found him?" Amy? I thought Horace's wife was Olivia? Whatever her name is, Miles would much rather deal with dynamite and fire. Maybe she has PMS?
That's no PMS! That's a pregnancy (which can manifest as raging PPPMS). And that's no Amy, that's Michelle Dessler a.k.a. Reiko Aylesworth. Okay, I guess she is Amy, but if I randomly call someone Michelle during this recap, that's who I mean. Sawyer brings Horace in, and on Amy's instruction, he lays him upon the couch and tells her he found Horace out by the Flame Station, blowing up trees with dynamite. After Sawyer reminds her that whatever's going on will be on the "coconut telegraph" by breakfast, Amy confides in him that she and Horace had a fight about "Paul." But she can't tell him any more, because she goes into labor and insists the baby is coming.
Three Years Earlier: Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and Jin find Daniel. He's still kneeling in the forest. They hear him repeat the same thing over and over. "I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to tell her." Poor Daniel. He must be referring to Charlotte's final revelation -- that a scary man warned her not to come back to the island or she'd die, and that he was that man. But he's also Mr. Rules-Man, always telling everyone how they can't change anything, so you know he'll end up telling her one way or another, because what's already happened has happened. And then he'll grimace again, and ditto. Juliet tries to talk to Daniel like he actually has a brain left -- asking him where Charlotte is. He finally says that she's dead, and that there was another flash and then her body disappeared. "She moved on, and we stayed." This seems like news to Sawyer. Someone wasn't wearing his listening ears, because Juliet and Miles nearly spelled this out at the top of the episode. "We're not traveling through time anymore? You're saying it's over?" Daniel may be a broken mess of scientist-man shards, but he can still be condescending. "Of course it's over. Wherever we are now -- whenever we are now -- we're here for good." Juliet's head starts to jerk, but she controls it almost immediately. Daniel returns to his mantra: "I won't do it. I'm not gonna do it." He's so gonna do it.
Sawyer assesses this situation. "Okay. Swell. Until Dan checks back in, I say we head back to the beach. When Locke gets back with everybody, that's where they'll be looking for us."
Miles says, "The beach? What, you didn't get enough flaming arrows shot at you? And your camp is gone. Why bother?" Juliet supports Sawyer's decision, but Miles isn't done. "Or maybe when we get there, you'll... you'll wanna go back to the Orchid again. And then when that gets boring, we can head back to the beach. It's the only two plans you people have." Oh honey, was that fan-service? Where were you a couple of seasons ago, when there were no plans at all? Sawyer's had enough squawking from the peanut gallery and makes it clear he's moving on, and Miles can come with, or have fun by his lonesome, then he stomps off. Juliet looks at Miles, who says, "Who put him in charge?" Jin doesn't say anything, but I bet that's because he's still working on his English.
The Strand-aways walk through the jungle. Somehow Miles is now in the lead, walking loudly and carrying a small stick. Oooh, so close, sweetie. As they bring up the rear, Sawyer thanks Juliet for having his back on his beach suggestion. She notes he should thank her, because the beach trek is a stupid idea. I like her so much better when she's like this than when she's playing Galadriel. She and Sawyer flirt back and forth for a minute, but their conversation is interrupted by two gun shots. Kate's back already? Oh, no, it's not Kate, but there is a woman yelling for Paul, and pleading with two men, saying they were just walking through "this park." Sawyer and Juliet ready their rifles and steal through the brush to spy on the scene. The two men have shot a third man dead, and are placing a burlap sack over the woman's head. When Sawyer wonders who they are and what's going on, Miles makes it clear he has no desire to be a hero, and he leans on Dan for back-up. "We don't get involved, right? That's what you said." Daniel's response is less informative than anyone would like. "Doesn't matter what we do. Whatever happened, happened." Sawyer rolls his eyes. "Yeah thanks anyway, Plato. I'm going over there." He turns to Juliet. "You still got my back?" She does, so Sawyer sneaks as close to the scene as he can, then appears at the edge of the clearing. He aims his weapon and orders the two men to drop their guns. The short-haired man aims his handgun at Sawyer and gets off a shot, but takes one in the chest. Sawyer looks at his gun, confused, then looks over his shoulder to see Juliet truly does have his back. When the long-haired guy who was dealing with the woman aims at Juliet and Sawyer, Sawyer takes him down in one shot. They free the woman, and uncover her head. It's Amy (and is it just me, or does she look a teensy bit like a young Bernadette Peters in that one shot). She looks at Sawyer and asks, "Who are you?" Commercial.
Amy mourns over Paul's body, while Juliet tells her crew that since Amy's friend is wearing a Dharma jumpsuit, they must be in the '70s or '80s. She can't ID the others as Others for certain, because it's before her time. Jin finds a walkie and tosses it to Sawyer, who then tries to get Amy out of there before the other men's comrades come looking for them. When she wants to know who Sawyer and crew are, he takes a page from Rousseau's book and says they shipwrecked on the way to Tahiti. Amy then starts to freak and insists they bury the Others -- halfway explaining it's necessary because of some truce. She also wants to take Paul "back home." Jin volunteers to carry Paul and Sawyer agrees that they'll bury the Others and carry her friend back. Amy says, "He wasn't my friend. He was my husband." Aha haha haha. A ho. Oh. That was a straight line, apparently. On the way back, Sawyer tells everyone to let him do the talking once they reach the Dharma Initiative, reminding us of his con-man past. "I used to lie for a living." Just then, Juliet screams out for Daniel to stop, because he's about to walk between the sonic fence pylons. Without thinking, Juliet reveals that she knows what it is when she tells Amy to turn it off, prompting Amy to ask again who they are and where they were going. Sawyer distracts her from Juliet's gaffe. "Listen, sister, we're the ones who just saved your life and hid those bodies, so how about you trust us and turn that damn thing off?" Amy makes her way over to the security keypad on the bottom of one of the pylons. She enters a secret code, lifts the lid and seems to flip a switch. Our gang makes her walk through first, and she does so unscathed. So what do these geniuses do -- they walk in five abreast and are brought to the ground, convulsing until they pass out. Meanwhile, Amy removes her earplugs. I totally would have sent Daniel first.
Three years later: Amy is in labor. And screaming, poor thing. The Dharma Initiative Internist seems so inept, I'm a little disappointed Sawyer didn't nickname him Prissy. Oh, wait. I can do that. I'm a recapper. The short Dr. Prissy's story is that the baby is breach and Amy needs a C-section, and he don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no babies. Dharma women always deliver off-island, and Amy was scheduled to leave Tuesday, but her baby's coming two weeks early. Two weeks is nothing when timing a pregnancy, but I'm too tired to pick at that with any depth. Realizing he's getting nowhere with the doctor, Sawyer stomps out and over to the motor pool, where Juliet's working underneath a VW bus. Juliet reminds him they had an agreement (and it must be unspoken), and she sure doesn't want to try to help another woman on this island give birth only to see her die, but Sawyer convinces her by suggesting that whatever it was that killed the babies and mamas in their time may not have happened yet. In the delivery room, Juliet the Mechanic gets rid of Dr. Prissy and gets down to business. I wonder what everyone else thinks about this. Oh, the Internist can't cut the baby out, but the mechanic'll do it. Amy for her part, prefers Juliet. I understand this. When a woman finds a mechanic she can trust, one who doesn't talk down to her because she has an innie rather than an outie, she holds on for dear life. Catching the expression on Juliet's face, Sawyer takes her aside. "Listen, you're gonna do great. I know you are." She says okay in a way that reminds me of Jack's old method of letting himself feel his panic for five seconds, and then no longer. She grabs her stethoscope and softly whispers, "Okay," to Amy. Meanwhile, Sawyer flees like the lily-livered chicken he is. What'samatta, you gonna get girl cooties?
Jin meets Sawyer outside. He's now fluent in English, thank goodness, and Sawyer catches him up on Amy's situation and her new OB/GYN. He then asks Jin if he's had any luck. Jin says, "We finished grid 1-3-3 today. No sign of our people." Sawyer says it's time to move on to 1-3-4, then. Jin wants to know how long they will look. Sawyer says, "As long as it takes." Juliet exits the building in tears. Sawyer and Jin rise to meet her and ask what happened. Juliet says, "It's a boy." She adds that everyone is okay and we fade to black. Commercial.
This time, there's no title card, but because Sawyer is still wearing Frogurt's shirt we can tell it is three years earlier. Sawyer wakes on a couch and Horace asks him, "How's your head?" Sawyer says it hurts, but he's far more interested in learning where his people are. Horace says they're fine and adds, "Amy told me what happened in the jungle, and I really ah-prish-shate what you did." Really? Ah-prish-shate? And why does that make me flash on Dave Thomas? No matter. Sawyer says, "Well, you got a funny way of showing your appreciation," and enunciates that last word clearly, but doesn't emphasize it like I would, because I'm still stuck on ahprishate. Horace blah blahs about their defense protocol and the hostile indigenous people on the island, then asks Sawyer who he is. Sawyer says, "My name's James LaFleur. You can call me Jim." He wants to know why Horace is asking him all these questions if his friends really are safe, but Horace says they said he should talk to Sawyer (LaFleur) -- he's the captain. They really are letting him do the talking? Who'da thunk? Sawyer says they were on a salvage vessel, searching for a famous wreck called the Black Rock -- an old slaver out of Portsmouth, England (oh, he's good). They must have hit a reef. Their ship wrecked, and thankfully they washed up on shore. Horace says he's never heard of the Black Rock, but he says it the way everyone says everything on this island -- so you can't tell whether or not he's lying. Sawyer explains that they were wandering around the jungle looking for missing crew when they came across Amy. Horace says if he sees Sawyer's crew, he'll send them on after him, but he's shipping Sawyer, Juliet, et al off the island in the submarine first thing in the morning. It will drop them in Tahiti, and they're on their own from there. Sawyer tries to get a week or two out of Horace, for time to search for their missing shipmates, but Horace won't budge. "Only people that are allowed to stay on this compound are members of the Dharma Initiative. And look, I don't want you to take this the wrong way please, Jim, but you are not Dharma material." Heh. No offense taken, I'm sure.
Miles, Juliet, Daniel and Jin are sitting at an outdoor table, while Miles complains about how screwed they are letting Sawyer be their spokesman. "He's probably trying to explain time travel by now." Juliet tells him Sawyer will do fine, but she's distracted, as she then explains, because she lived here for three years and can see her house from where they're sitting. Jin turns to Daniel, "Daniel... No more flash?" Daniel says, "No more flash. The record is spinning again. We're just not on the song we wanna be on." They contemplate one another until they hear a little toddler girl talking. "Where's Dad?" Her mother rushes her along, so she runs across the courtyard in her little red dress, red hair flying in the breeze, then turns toward Daniel and waves. She runs off, and he says, "Charlotte," in case we missed that. Thank you for your assistance, Daniel. We got it. You go back to being broken. Horace returns Sawyer to the group and says someone will be around in a few to show them to their rooms, but in the meantime, "Mr. LaFleur will fill them in on the situation." He does, and Miles struggles to understand how getting shipped from Craphole to Tahiti is bad news. Before Sawyer can answer, an alarm sounds all over the compound. Floodlights flash on. People holler and rush to their cabins. Phil the no-fun-security guard brings them into a house and tells the armed woman in it -- Heather -- to keep an eye on them. Heather goes back to looking out her kitchen window, so Sawyer and Juliet look out the living room window, while Miles, Daniel and Jin stand around waiting for their cue from the director.
A torchlight in the jungle seems to be moving closer to the Dharma compound. Finally the man holding it appears. He stakes the torch in the ground like it's Braveheart's sword, then strolls across the quad. Sawyer and Juliet realize it's Richard (the Eyelinered Shanks), and Sawyer says, "Uh oh." Commercial. What a crappy time for a commercial.
Horace walks out to greet Richard and says he would have turned off the fence if he'd known Richard was coming. Personally, I would have baked a cake. Richard says, "That fence may keep other things out, but not us." 'Cause he likes my cake. "The only thing that does keep us out, Horace, is our truce... which you've now broken." No cake for you, Horace. Horace plays dumb, while Richard persists in knowing where his two men are, and we cut to the gang inside Heather's cabin. Miles says, "Getting on that sub is starting to sound like a great idea. What do you say? Sub, anyone?" The camera pans to Juliet and Jin, who are standing with arms crossed, which ruins my fantasy of them raising their hands. Sawyer says, "Hold your horses, Banzai. No one's getting on a sub." Just then, Horace and Phil return, wanting to know how well our Strand-aways buried the bodies. Sawyer says, "Well, that depends on how hard he looks." So Horace starts giving orders to Phil which basically amount to crank up the fence to vaporize and set condition one throughout the ship.
Sawyer tells Horace he wants to talk to "your buddy out there, with the eyeliner." Aw, more fan-service. Horace, though, wants to keep Richard all to himself, and who can blame him? Sawyer's not keen on taking orders from Horace, and goes right out to Richard. "Hello, Richard." Richard asks if they know one another, so Sawyer says, "I'm the guy that killed your men. Heard some gunshots. Saw two men throwing a bag over a woman's head. Gave them a chance to throw the weapons down and walk away." Lost my pronouns. "One of them took a shot at me, and I defended myself." Got 'em back. Richard wants to know if Sawyer's "people" know he's telling them this. Sawyer says, "They aren't my people, Hoss. So if you got some kind of truce with them, it ain't been broken." I wonder if Richard was off-island enough in the '60s to get the Bonanza reference. Richard wants to know what Sawyer is, if he's not a member of the Dharma Initiative. Sawyer smiles and sits to Richard on the bench. "Did you bury the bomb?" Richard's all the huh now? Sawyer says, "The hydrogen bomb with 'Jughead' written on the side. Did you bury it?" Richard stares into Sawyer's eyes. They make out. No, wait. That was fan fic. Sorry. Richard stares into Sawyer's eyes. Sawyer says, "Yeah, I know about it. I also know that 20 years ago, some bald fella limped into your camp and fed you some mumbo jumbo about being your leader, and then poof... he went and disappeared right in front of ya. Any of this ringin' a bell? That man's name is John Locke. I'm waiting for him to come back." A beat... "So, you still think I'm a member of the damned Dharma Initiative?" Richard guesses not, but regardless, his own people will be expecting some justice for their two dead men. He asks Sawyer, "Now what are we gonna do about that?"
We cut to... I don't know -- is that a morgue? A hospital room? Amy's house? The mess hall? Wherever it is, Paul has been laid out and Amy's watching over his corpse. Horace explains they told Richard where the bodies are buried and now they need to hand over Paul's corpse to take back to Richard's people. Amy is understandably horrified, so Horace lays a silken guilt trip on her. Blah blah we've been friends a long time. Blah blah Paul would want to maintain the truce. Blah blah it's totally your decision though and blah blah we'll accept the consequences if you decide to risk your entire community for a blah. So, of course, she gives in. She just needs a minute more alone with Paul, during which she removes the ankh pendent from his neck. She leaves in tears and Sawyer whispers, "I'm sorry," then offers Horace his help. Horace is all set, but he's so grateful for what James has done that he says he and his people can stick around for two weeks, until the sub (after tomorrow's) and look for the rest of their crew during that time.
Sawyer thanks him and walks out to find Juliet down by the water. And the submarine. He's proud he's bought them two weeks, and figures Locke should be back by then. Juliet says, "And then what?" Sawyer isn't following, so she continues: "Locke said he was leaving to save us. The flashes have stopped. They're over. No more bloody noses. We're already saved. That sub behind you brought me here. I've been trying to get off of this island for more than three years, and now I've got my chance. I'm going to leave." Sawyer reminds her that it's currently 1974 and whatever she thinks she's going back to doesn't exist. Juliet doesn't see that as a reason not to go. I don't know. I do.
Sawyer thinks for a moment as he looks down at her. "Well, what about me? You really gonna leave me here with the mad scientist? And Mr. I-Speak-To-Dead-People?" Apparently, he forgets Juliet is Dr. Tasered-Me-The-First-Time-We-Met. "And Jin, who's a hell of a nice guy, but not exactly the greatest conversationalist." Somewhere, right now, he's saying the same thing about you, Jim -- in Korean. Juliet giggles more at each of Sawyer's descriptions of their fellow sojourners, then says, "You'll be fine." Sawyer's a professional, don't forget, so he drives it home with: "Maybe. But who's gonna get my back?" Juliet looks up at him for a moment and seems to waiver, so he works to close the deal. "C'mon. Just give me two weeks, that's all I'm asking." She agrees to two weeks, so of course we cut to...
Three years later: The sun is shining, people are playing outdoors and Old New Otherton looks like Mayberry. Sawyer takes long, strong strides across the compound and stops when he notices a pretty little flower bed. He picks a yellow daisy, sniffs it, smiles and continues on his way. Cut to a vase full of flowers. It rests on a table, alongside a bottle of fine Dharma Initiative wine and a garden salad. Sawyer opens the door, smiles appreciatively (not aprishtively) at the prettily set table, takes a whiff of whatever's cooking, and says, "Mmmm," like he's cooking something up, himself. Juliet greets him with a "Hey, there," as she drains a pot of pasta. Once that's done, she turns to him with a playful smile and he waves the daisy at her. Her expression grows serious, but not sad. "Is that for me?" Sawyer tells her she was amazing, today. Amazing?! He can't have been influenced by this season's "star" of The Bachelor because he's currently stuck in the '70s and the series writ large hasn't progressed past 2007. Right? Right? Right? (Please, please, please no.) They embrace and Sawyer chuckles. Juliet strokes the back of his head and thanks him for believing in her. She pulls her face back for a moment, and gives him a quick peck on the lips. Sawyer growls, and I fan myself as he moves in for a real kiss. Her pasta is going to get all sticky lying there in the colander, if she doesn't toss it with some olive oil or sauce, I'm just saying. She's getting kissed by a growling Sawyer, though, and Dharma spaghetti's probably free, so what does she care? When their kiss ends, Juliet smiles even before she opens her eyes, then says, "I love you." Sawyer smiles back. "Hmm. I love you, too." He growls again, and moves in for another kiss and we cut to commercial. Let your imagination finish the scene the way you see fit.
Three hours later...
Where were we? Oh, recap. Right. No actual time difference.Sawyer reads a book in Horace's living room, waiting for the latter to sleep it off. He finally wakes him, and it's a nice bookend to their earlier scene when Sawyer was unconscious after crossing the sonic fence line. With his hand to his head, Horace groans as he slowly sits up. Sawyer asks him, "How's your head?" and Horace tells him it hurts. Sawyer asks if he wants the good news first, or the bad news. Horace goes with the good. I think that's the better choice. Sawyer says, "You're a daddy. The bad news is -- you missed it." Horace self-flagellates, or would if he weren't too hung-over to do so. Serves him right. I mean, I've seen some stupid drunks in my time, but none of them ever lit sticks of dynamite and blew up baby trees. Er... in my presence. Don't tell me if I'm wrong. Sawyer tells him the baby is a boy, and Horace, who is delighted, is also still hung-over, so he groans and holds his glass to his head. Sawyer asks what he and Amy could have been fighting about concerning Paul that could have inspired such a bender. Horace ran across Paul's ankh in Amy's sock drawer when he was looking to borrow a pair (take that either way), and he realized it's only been three years since Paul has been gone. "Is that really long enough to get over someone?"
Sawyer thinks for a moment, then laughs. "I had a thing for a girl once. And I had a shot at her..." But she was wearing Kevlar? The wee Sawyer who's sitting atop my scanner tells me to hush up and listen, because this is a good story. "But I didn't take it. For a little while, I'd lay in bed every night, wondering if it was a mistake, wondering if I'd ever stop thinking about her. And now I can barely remember what she looks like." Does this ring a bell? "And her face... it's... She's just gone, and she ain't never coming back. So, is three years long enough to get over someone?" He looks off for a moment, and then right at Horace. "Absolutely." Aha ha ha. Just you wait, Jimmy my boy. Oh crap, I think Horace heard me laughing, because he doesn't return Sawyer's smile.
The morning, Sawyer and Juliet lie in bed. She's shirtless and he's not, and what's up with that, show? Please note that she's spooning him -- so even in her sleep she has his back. The phone rings, and she groans as if that will make it go away, and snuggles in closer to James. It keeps ringing, so he disentangles himself from her arms (sister needs to work on her grip, and soon, if you know what I'm sayin', and I think you do). He sits up and reaches over Juliet to answer the phone. We only hear his side of the conversation and it goes like this: "What? ... Wait, what? Ha -- no. Don't bring 'em in; just meet me in the north valley." He slams down the receiver and jumps out of bed. Poor Juliet is wide awake now, and asks, "Who was it?"
Sawyer puts on his glasses, which are (sadly) not as goofy as his first pair he wore on Craphole. He rushes to the closet and pulls out some pants. Juliet asks what's going on. Sawyer says, "It was Jin." He assures her that everything is okay. He just has to go. He drives a Jeep out to the north valley, parks on the bluff by the ocean, gets out of the car, and waits. The VW Bus comes bouncing up from the other direction and stops about 30 feet away from Sawyer. Jack gets out, in his suit that doesn't at all look like he wore it diving into a lagoon to "save" Hurley. Hurley gets out . He looks dry and tidy, too. Then Sawyer slowly removes his glasses and finally, she appears. She walks out from behind Hurley. She is Kate, but you knew that. They look at each other for what seems like an eternity, and I'm pretty sure he remembers every freckle. DUN! Bad robot.
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In addition to recapping Lost, Cindy also recaps How I Met Your Mother and is set to cover Cupid too, should the day ever arrive. Since we've got a week off in between episodes, drop her a line and tell her what you think about Sawyer and Juliet and the whole triangle/quadrangle shake-up at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com.