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Fitting an entire nut tree into a nutshell is tricky, but here goes nuttin'. (I am not even sorry about that). Penny gives birth to Desmond's son and they name him Charlie! This makes me tear up, but then cackle, because although I'm sure he's named for our Charlie, Charles is Mr. Widmore's first name. Two years later after Charlie Hume's birth, the little family sails back to Old Blighty so Des can find Faraday's mother at Oxford. Desmond swears he'll only spend a day on it all, and that Penny's father will never know they're there. Penny asks him to promise that he won't go back to the island, and while Des scoffs at the very idea, he never does promise. There's no record of any Faraday ever employed at Oxford, so Des snoops in Daniel's old lab, which has been sealed with a fumigation warning, but that's just a ruse. Desmond finds papers scattered about and the equipment shrouded, and a picture of Daniel and a pretty young blonde woman. A workman finds him in the abandoned lab and informs him that Daniel was involved in wild experiments in which he was trying to send rats' brains back in time. And then there was some girl to whom he did ghastly things...
That girl is Teresa Spencer, and although she's lying in her bed, seemingly in a vegetative state, her sister Abigail informs Desmond that Teresa is "away" right now, but sometimes she'll wake up thinking she's 3, and other times she'll claim to have been talking to their dad who has been dead 5 years. After his research left Teresa in this condition, Daniel abandoned her -- ran off to the States, and it's only thanks to Charles Widmore, Daniel's research benefactor, that Theresa is getting good care. Des mans up and goes to see Widmore, who gives him an L.A. address for Faraday's mum, in exchange for Desmond's promise that he'll take Penny back into hiding, and keep her safe. Assuming Hawking is the mother, I guess the lab from The Lie wasn't in Oxford, after all, and Ben's trip to it is more straightforward, now. Speaking of lies, Des lies to Penny that Faraday's mother is dead. She calls him on it, so he admits Ma Faraday's in L.A. Desmond won't leave Penny again, not for this or anything, so Penny says then they'll all go to L.A., together. How I love them.
Charlotte's having headaches and double-vision as she, Daniel, Miles, and two Redshirts trudge through the jungle to the creek. Miles realizes a skosh too late that it's surrounded by landmines. Bye-bye Redshirts and hello commandos. About a half-dozen of them, armed with bows and (non-flaming) arrows surround Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles, and a blonde woman, Ellie, follows behind, and trains her rifle on them. They lead Daniel and crew to the Others' camp. Daniel notices burns on an Other's hands and when he combines that info with intel Miles got from a fresh grave, the wheels of his amazing mind start turning. When Richard greets them, he assumes Daniel and crew are U.S. military (because the military was testing H-bombs there) so they let him think that. Daniel realizes there's a hydrogen bomb on the island that needs to be disarmed, so he offers to do it. As proof that he's not on a suicide mission, he confesses he's in love with Charlotte; Richard takes him at his word.
Meanwhile, Locke, Juliet, and Sawyer march two commandos through the jungle; one is Brit Boy, whose uniform name reads Jones (Jughead's last name). He and his comrade speak to one another in Latin, which Juliet says is an Others thing. She talks the second commando into telling her where Richard Alpert is, but Brit snaps his comrade's neck before he reveals the location. When Brit runs off, Locke can't make himself shoot Brit, because they're "his" people.
Ellie takes Daniel out to the bomb, with the name "Jughead" on the side (which was a model of H-bomb used in 1954). Daniel realizes it won't blow up the island, because the island's still around 50 years hence. He tells Ellie he's from the future, and that all she needs to do is have her people seal it with lead, bury it in concrete, and stop worrying about it. Meanwhile, Locke, Juliet and Sawyer track Brit Jones back to Richard's camp. Locke gives Juliet and Sawyer a 10 minute head-start to go after Ellie and Daniel Faraday. They do, and Juliet coaxes Sawyer and Ellie into dropping their weapons.
Locke goes down to the camp, and tells Richard that Jacob sent him. Richard orders Brit to drop the weapon he has trained on Locke. When Brit doesn't comply, Richard says, "I said, put the gun down, Widmore." And yep, it's Charles, which doesn't escape Locke. He presents Richard with the compass, a little back-story, and the information that he's their leader. When he learns it's currently 1954, Locke tells Richard that he (Locke) will be born on May 30, 1956 -- and if Richard doesn't believe him, he should come visit him. Before Richard can or will give Locke information on how to get off the island, there's a flash, and he, Sawyer and Juliet, Miles and Charlotte, and Daniel have all jumped in time. They're not too far off from one another and regroup where the camp was. Charlotte seems fine for a moment, but then falls to the ground, and her nose starts to bleed buckets. Daniel cradles her in his arms and we fade to black. Bad robot!
Things I can't help but wonder -- is Ellie actually Eloise Hawking (Daniel Faraday's mother)? They're both rocking Heidi-esque hair. If she's one in the same, she hasn't aged as well as Widmore; no wonder she's so stern. Also, will Daniel's love somehow make him Charlotte's constant? I've got to re-watch that episode. Will she live? If she doesn't, will we still see her around the island? I'll be back with the full recap week.
Want more? The full recap starts right below! Welcome back to the third hour of this season's Lost! Was that the longest week ever? That didn't involve donkey-wheel propelled time manipulation, that is? I'm thinking yes. This is a foundational episode, dusted with glittering call-backs from the Continuity Fairy's wand, so let's allow the magic to work its will. We open on a beach that tries to trick me into thinking it's our island's beach in times long past (or yet to come, or something), but that would be too linear. Instead, it seems to be a beach in the Philippines. I say this because the closed captioning reports that people are speaking in a Filipino dialect and because at some point we see a sign bearing a small Philippine Islands flag, which reads Mabuhay and Google indicates that's a Tagalog greeting. Desmond runs along the beach (run Des, run) and through an adjacent marketplace yelling, "Efren Salonga," over and over until he finds what he's looking for, i.e. Efren Salonga -- which is not a what or a which, but a whom -- a doctor (not a witch doctor and not Dr. Who; which I note because either option could also work on this show). The good doctor is gambling in some sort of gambling... er... hut. As you can tell, I got this gig thanks to my extensive vocabulary. Dr. Salonga follows Des back to the boat. Des yells about there being "a lot of blood" but doesn't quantify that for the doctor. Poor Penny waits below deck, alone and... IN LABOR!Dr Salonga and Des help Penny deliver her child with the biggest-ass pair of forceps you can imagine. I mean they're toss-his-eff'n-salonga-overboard big; you could deliver something the approximate size of the inside of a Tardis with those puppies. Now, I'm crying, not just because of the forceps which I've mostly and conveniently blocked out, but because of the BABY! (yay), who is also crying. And thank goodness for that, because that means he's breathing, although it might also mean he's not happy being smeared with plum puree and rice cereal ala tapioca, or whatever it is they've put on this little one so that he looks fresh from the oven. Whatever, it's a boy, and he thinks his hands are tasty. Pen and Des are too in love to realize their son is licking off amniotic goop, but their love brings so much light to this dark show I'll give them a pass.
Two years later (which is now, if now were 2007) Desmond steers their boat, Searcher, with his handsome (2-ish year old) son in his lap. He tells his son all about the "very special island" they're approaching... Great Britain. Cheater. That's twice the show has faked me out in a couple of minutes. Des informs his boy about the most beautiful part of the island -- Scotland, with its mountains, glens, monsters, and deep Lockes lochs. Just like a home away from home, eh Des? Des smiles as he confides in his son. "That's where you're Mommy and Daddy fell in love." Penny's less romantic, pointing out it's also where Daddy broke Mommy's heart. Des explains he figured he'd leave that bit out and Penny snipes that he also left out the part about their son's grandfather, and how he sent a boat to the island to kill all Daddy's friends. The baby cries, "Daddy, she's trying to tell the story again. I'm going to have nightmares," or he would, if he weren't one of those precious TV-type toddlers who only speak on cue (and where can you get one those?). At any rate, Penny not only has her islands mixed up -- she's got her knickers in a twist. They're returning to Great Britain so Des can seek out Daniel Faraday's mother at Oxford. Desmond promises Penny they'll be in and out, he'll only spend a day on it all, and that Penny's father will never know they're there. He reminds her that Faraday told him everyone on that island is in danger and that Des is the only one who can help. He has to do it.
Charlotte's headaches worsen and are compounded by dizziness and double-vision as she, Daniel, Miles, and two Redshirts (who must have thought they could thwart fate by sticking with earth tones) trudge through the jungle to the creek in order to meet up with Sawyer, Juliet, et al. When Charlotte calls Daniel on his obvious concern for her condition, he gives her the-old-one-eyed squint + a disarming head tilt, as he says (or LIES) that nothing's going to happen to her; he won't let it. Jumping through time has probably left Charlotte too dumb to live, because she accepts his empty promises with a smile and sallies forth. Their party is the only one at Rendezvous Creek. When Miles wonders if the rest of the strand-aways are dead, Daniel lectures him on keeping a positive attitude. Miles doesn't kill Daniel. I chalk this up to the fact that since Miles can hear dead people, it really wouldn't free him from Daniel's lecture. Besides, he's too busy noticing that Rendezvous Creek is surrounded by tripwires and landmines. He shouts to the Redshirts not to move, thus ensuring their movement. BOOM! BOOM! Bye-bye Redshirts. Kill 'em all and let SAG sort 'em out, I say. I can't keep track of these extras. Now they're just like pretty deadwood floating in the water. Our party of five is now a more manageable party of three, but don't worry, they're not lonely for long. About a half-dozen commandos, armed with bows and (non-flaming) arrows, surround Charlotte, Daniel, and Miles. Soon, a rather young looking blonde woman named Ellie appears from behind them and trains her rifle on our intrepid trio. She demands to know who's in charge, so Miles immediately points the finger at poor Daniel. Miles is growing on me. But Daniel's not growing on Ellie. She glares at him. "You just couldn't stay away, could you?" Neither could we, Ellie. Neither could we.
On their boat, Desmond tries to make small talk with Penny about whether their son finally ate breakfast, but her every word is barbed. "He gave me a bit of a fight, but he listens in the end. Unlike his father." The kid's two, so I can't really excuse her temper as being induced by post-partum hormonal flux. It's just... post-matrimonium. You know what I'm saying. She's totally forgotten what a special, unique snowflake our Des is. It's all right, though. She'll come around. She wants to know why Desmond just remembered two days ago that -- while they were still on the island three years prior -- Daniel told him to find his mother at Oxford. Des explains that he doesn't understand how any of this works any better than she does. He just knows that it happened -- that Daniel told Des he was the only one who could save them, and that he had to go to Oxford to find Daniel's mum. Des says he knows how insane this sounds, but I don't think Penny does, because seriously, can you imagine your spouse or S.O. telling you this, without you whisking him or her away to the nearest mental health practitioner, and possibly begging the doctor for an involuntary psychiatric hold? Penny's sitting at the head of their bed. Desmond walks to her and moves in close. "I'll be back by dark and then I'm done. Forever. I promise." When Penny just looks at him, he gives her a sweet kiss and heads towards their bedroom door. After a beat, Penny asks him to promise her that he'll never go back to "that island" again. Desmond scoffs, "Come oan, get aff! Ye aff yer heid?" or possibly, "Pfffft. Why in God's name would I want to go back there?" He means it when he says it, and walks out with one last look at his love, but he never does make that promise in any vernacular.
At Rendezvous Creek, the commandos fish the RedDeadshirts out of the water, while Daniel, Charlotte, and Miles look on -- hands bound. Ellie's still waving her weapon around. She points it at Daniel and notes that while there were 20 strand-aways at the beach, there were only five (and now three) of them at the creek. She wants to know where the rest are. When Miles suggests that maybe they got blown up by some of the commandos' landmines, Ellie is not amused. "We didn't put them here. You did." She turns back to Daniel. "Once we leave here, I will be out of control of what happens to you. But if you cooperate now, things will go much easier for you. So where are the rest of your people?" Daniel shakes his head, and gives her a two-eyed-squint + disarming head tilt and says he doesn't know. If Charlotte weren't seeing double, she'd realize Ellie got twice the squinting she did, but she's too busy with her double-vision to notice.
Elsewhere on the island, Locke, Juliet, and Sawyer have two, still-living commandos they're dealing with -- even though it's broad daylight and they were ambushed in the middle of the night. One commando is Brit Boy from the last episode. His uniform name reads Jones (Jughead's last name), so that's what we'll call him. Locke comments that the commando's gun is a 30-caliber M1 Garand rifle, and that it looks new. The rifles were in service from the mid-1930s through the early 1960s, so I suspect Locke's trying to place himself in time. He's also trying to figure out who the commandos are, but Sawyer's not in the mood to humor his musings. Our three strand-aways go through the where have we been/when have we been spiel, with Locke taking point. Sawyer then asks what happened to Locke's leg. John tells him he got shot, but before he can say by whom (Ethan), Juliet interrupts to suggest they get moving to Rendezvous Creek to catch up with the rest of the strand-aways. Since they don't have any rope to tie up the commandos, Sawyer (half) jokingly suggests they shoot them. Jones and his comrade start speaking to one another in Latin. Juliet translates that Nameless Commando asked why the strand-aways weren't in uniform and Jones told him to shut up. Locke asks why they speak Latin and Juliet says, "The same reason I do." They're doctors? Nope. Juliet continues: "They're Others." And it's all very dramatic, which I know because they played the Hey Cindy This Is Dramatic, Isn't It music.
Ellie and her commandos lead Daniel and crew to The Others' camp. On the way, Miles walks over the grave of four U.S. Soldiers who've been dead just under a month. He tells Daniel that three were shot and one died of radiation poisoning. Unfortunately, he didn't hear them say what year it is. During the march, Daniel takes note that one of the commandos has bandaged hands, and you can see the wheels of his mind spinning a million miles an hour. Once they reach camp, the ageless and dashing Richard, who is quickly becoming one of my favorites on this show, exits his tent to greet them. Oh, and to settle this once and for all, 'Guyliner' is a misnomer. Daniel is careful to reveal less than he learns and turns Richard's questions back on him, so Richard introduces himself. "My name is Richard Alpert." You killed my father. Prepare to die. Wait, that's not it. "I assume you've come back for your bomb." Dah duh dah duh dah duh dah duh dun!
At Oxford, the clerk with whom Desmond is dealing can find no record of any Faraday employed at Oxford, never mind Daniel or his mother. When Des insists that he's visited Daniel in his attic lab above the Physics department, the woman admits the possibility of a clerical error, and asks him what year he visited. I can't decide if she's hiding a smirk or if I'm just looking for things that aren't there. Desmond can't answer, so he apologizes and walks out, hoping I'll stop typing his name D-a-n-i-e-l, then back-spacing and correcting. He complains to me that I'm just like Penny -- I forget that he's a uniquely specially wondrous snowflake. As if I could. Outside, he stops outside the building that houses the Physics Department, which I know because the sign reads: "Department of Physics" and underneath, "Clarendon 142-08." Oh, they're mixing the numbers up a bit, now.
Desmond enters the building and breaks into Daniel's old lab, which has been sealed with a fumigation warning. Inside, Desmond finds Daniel's papers scattered about, all his equipment shrouded, and a picture of Daniel and a pretty young blonde. As he removes the tarps, he places a hand to his head in the international sign for It's all coming back to me now. He uncovers the rat maze and stares at it in wonder, when a voice behind him says, "Yeah, I wouldn't touch that." Desmond turns to find a workman entering the lab -- and shutting the two of them in. "I wondered when someone'd figure out we weren't just fumigating here. You a professor?" When Desmond says he's not, not exactly, the workman credits him for being honest (although none too exactly, don't you think?), then covers the maze back up. Des asks why the man told him not to touch it, so he answers, "Because I'm the one who had to take the rats that he made run through this bloody thing down to the incinerator, so that no one would find out what he was up to." Desmond asks if the man is referring to Daniel Faraday. "Yeah, you're not the first one to poke around here, asking about him and his work. Rumor had it, he was trying to send rats' brains back in time." He laughs. "Ridiculous, innit?" And Desmond agrees. The workman must be getting time and a half to play exposition fairy, because he's awfully chatty. "Look, I'll forget you broke my lock, if you tell your mates that all you found was rubbish left behind by a madman." Des says that's fair enough and mentions that the University has no record of Faraday. The workman says, "Well, can you blame 'em, I mean, after what he'd done to that poor girl?" Des asks who he means, and we're swept away to...
Camp Richard: A commando shoves Miles, Charlotte and Daniel into a tent. Charlotte assures Daniel she's fine, while Miles mutters that they're so dead. Daniel tries to calm him down. "Hey, no, no, no. We are not so dead. We're gonna be fine. We just need to keep it together until there's another flash, all right? Then all this disappears." When Miles asks when the flash will happen (there hasn't been one in this episode so far), Daniel says, "Could be five minutes. Could also be 5,000 years." Miles thinks that's "just awesome." Heh. Dan reckons that Richard and the commandos must believe Daniel, Charlotte and Miles are with the U.S. military, and so their best chance of staying alive is to foster that belief. Richard comes wanting to know where the rest of Daniel's "squad" is. Daniel wants to know why he'd ever tell him that. "So you can kill them, too?"
Richard says, "We didn't start this, friend. Your people attacked us. You come to our island to run your tests; you fire on us and what... You expect us not to defend ourselves?" Hmmm. Daniel mumbles that he and his crew are just scientists and don't know anything about any of that. Richard wants to know if "they" sent Daniel et al there to recover "it." The final piece clicks in Daniel's mind, so he's locked, loaded, and ready to bear... falsehoods. "If you mean our hydrogen bomb, then yes." Daniel nods toward one of the guards that came in with Richard and Ellie -- the one with the bandaged hands Daniel noticed en route to Camp Richard. "And I'm guessing from this man's radiation burns that the housing has been compromised. Is that right?" Richard looks to his injured commando as Daniel continues. "You need to listen to me. You have an unstable device that's capable of destroying this entire island. And it's broken. If you don't allow me to render it inert, all of us are gonna die." Brotha! Richard wants proof they weren't sent there on a suicide mission to take out the island and all its inhabitants, so Daniel says, "I'm in love with the woman sitting to me, and I would never... I'd never do anything to hurt her." Richard buys this rather easily. I can't decide if Daniel's telling the truth. I can't even decide if Daniel knows. He's good. Miles might be jealous though; maybe he's sweet on Daniel.
Locke walks through the jungle, looking at the compass Richard gave him last week. He's behind Jones and Nameless Commando. Juliet and Sawyer are in the lead, and he asks who taught her Latin. Juliet explains that it's part of the Others 101 curriculum, because Latin is the language of the "enlightened." Sawyer snaps, "Enlightened, my ass." Somnus, somni, somno, somnum, somno, somni, somne.
Meanwhile, Locke encourages Nameless Commando to talk to them -- threatening that the rest of the strand-aways are going to be mad at the commandos for attacking them. With flaming arrows? Um, ya think? Nameless says that the rest of the strand-aways are either captured or dead. Once he has everyone's attention, he puts the blame on Sawyer. "That idiot shouted out, 'Meet at the creek'. We knew exactly where they were headed -- sent a group after them." And I suddenly feel sick, because we haven't seen Rose and Bernard yet, have we? They're not at Camp Richard and weren't at Rendezvous Creek. Lalalala I can't hear you, Nameless. You're the tree that falls in the forest when nobody's there because they've all been eaten by a polar bear. Sawyer snarks that maybe he should have used his 'secret language' and does the You Want A Piece Of Me dance, or possibly the pee-pee dance, as he saunters towards Nameless. Juliet holds him back and Latinizes at the commandos -- making me realize that this is the first show I've watched that used Latin for anything other than exorcisms and spells. Juliet explains that the strand-aways aren't the commandos' enemies, so Nameless asks her to let him and Jones go, which seems like a reasonable good-faith request -- so don't do it, Juliet! What? I belong to the Hurley School of Strategy. Juliet counter-proposes that the commandos take the strand-aways to their camp, and asks if Richard Alpert is there. Locke catches the name, but Juliet shushes him, and keeps working Nameless, who finally decides to tell her where the camp is. "Okay, we need to head east another couple of kilometers until we hit the ridge..." Jones runs up behind Nameless and breaks his neck in a single snap, which makes me think of Angelus, which makes me reconsider whether there still couldn't be exorcisms or other spells in the island's future (or past, or whenever we are). Jones then runs off, leaving his victim-comrade's corpse in the care of our strand-aways. Sawyer hollers at Locke to shoot the fleeing Jones, but although Locke takes aim, he hesitates, and lowers his weapon. Sawyer grabs it from him, and gets off a round, but Jones is gone from sight. Sawyer yells at Locke, asking why he wouldn't shoot Jones. Locke, still staring at the spot where Jones disappeared into the thicket says, "Because... he's one of my people."
Desmond's talk with the Oxford workman leads him to the house of a woman named Teresa Spencer. Her sister Abigail has nothing good to say about Daniel when she lets Des in, and we soon see Teresa. She looks like the girl in the photo left behind in Daniel's lab. And sure, to the naked eye she seems to be in a vegetative state, but we know she's simply no longer bound by either time or space. Abigail says that Teresa is "away" right now. Sometimes she wakes up and thinks she's three. Other times she's just talked to their father who has been dead five years. Daniel abandoned her -- ran off to the States, and it's only thanks to a Mr. Charles Widmore than Teresa is getting good care. It seems Widmore was Daniel's benefactor, too; he funded all his research and took responsibility for the disastrous result of it (i.e. Teresa). Nodding toward the personal care attendant and all the medical equipment in the room, Abigail says, "Everything here is due to Mr. Widmore. God bless him."
Meanwhile, back at Camp Richard... Miles, Charlotte and Daniel are alone in their tent again, so Miles asks about the hydrogen bomb. Daniel says, "Back in the '50s, the U.S. Government tested H-bombs in the South Pacific." Charlotte changes the subject though, because she wants to hear Daniel say he loves her again, so she of course leads with, "You didn't have to say that... That you loved me." Her face lights up -- smile glows so brightly that I think she's lying. "I mean, there are plenty of other ways you could've convinced him you weren't going to blow up the entire island." Blink blink flirt flirt. Daniel tells her he said what he said because he meant it. And he's so sincere that... I feel like I'll regret it if I believe him. I mean, I don't think he's up to anything nefarious, but I wonder if he's trying to be her constant, the way Penny is Desmond's. And of course, there's no reason a true confession of love would rule that out. It's just that relatively few of these characters seem to tell the truth. O! Paranoia, thy name is Lost fandom. Miles just looks at them as if to say, "Oh get a room. I mean a tent. Another tent." Just then Ellie enters, shoves Miles around a bit, because she's wee and young, but tough in her Heidi-esque hairdo -- then she leads Daniel out of the tent. He promises Charlotte he'll be back soon, and once he's gone, she seems overcome by his profession of love.
Ellie takes Daniel to Richard who frees Daniel's hands, while he borrows his ear. "Whatever your, uh, your superiors told you, I want you to know the truth. A month ago, we found 18 members of an army battalion, right here in our jungle here, setting up this camp. We gave them the opportunity to leave the island peacefully. They weren't willing to do that, so I was forced to kill 'em. All of 'em." Daniel asks who "forced" him. Richard says, "Y-you answer to someone, don't you? You follow a chain of command, right?" When Daniel affirms this Richard says, "Yeah, well, so do I." Oh hai, Jacob! I can haz bossman?
Just then, Jones runs back to Camp Richard, hollering for its host. He refers to his victim-comrade as Cunningham, but I prefer Nameless Commando, because it requires less FIND + REPLACE on my part, but I digress. Anyhow, Jones LIES: "Cunningham and I -- a group of them surprised us. We were outnumbered, but I escaped." Ellie calls him out on the "outnumbered" claim, so Jones says, "Shut it, Ellie," in a way that turns my head, but more on that later. Jones then asks Richard who Daniel is. Richard explains Daniel is going to help them take care of their "problem."
Jones tries to find fault with this plan, but Richard talks over him -- ordering Ellie to take Daniel and go. He then turns his wrath on Jones, asking how he escaped. When Jones says he ran, Richard looks at him with contempt. And it never occurred to you that they might follow you?" Jones scoffs that their "sodding old man" leader could never track him, and at the idea that the sodding old man might know the island better than he does, so you know whom we're going to see ...
Why, it's that sodding old man, and tracker extraordinaire -- John Locke! He's with Juliet, looking down on Camp Richard from a distant hillside. When Locke asks Juliet how she knew Richard would be here, she answers in her cryptic way that Richard has always been here. Locke asks how old Richard is, but all Juliet offers in response is, "Old." She wants to know why Locke's so interested, and it's times like these that still make me doubt Juliet and wonder if she isn't still some sort of double (triple?) agent for Benjamin Linus, so pardon me while I adjust my tinfoil hat, so that I can finish this recap. Locke says, "I'm interested in him, because he was about to tell me how I could save us... But before he could finish, we were interrupted by that flash of light, and I'm hoping we can pick up where we left off."
Sawyer comes up behind them just then, and with a wry grin says, "I hate to bust up the "I'm an Other/you're an Other" reunion, but Faraday -- the guy that's actually gonna save us -- is being death marched into the jungle right now." Locke looks down to see Ellie marching Daniel off at gunpoint and nods. "Good luck with that." Oh, SNAP! Sawyer wants Locke's help saving Daniel, but Locke wants to go down to Camp Richard and finish his conversation with Vamp Richard. After Sawyer points out that will get him killed as he tries to save Daniel, Locke says he'll give Sawyer a 10 minute head start, and then... walks directly down the hill to the camp because... um... he maybe thought there was a flash and he was now 10 minutes in the future? Don't look at me. I don't block the scenes; I just let them nibble away at my brain. Sawyer turns to Juliet and asks if she's going to stay "here in Crazy Town," or help him rescue "the geek." Oh Sawyer, your nicknames are usually cleverer by half. Maybe you should sit in the shade and drink some water, and remove the late Frogurt's shirt, while you're at it. You don't want to get overheated.
As Ellie and "the geek" work their way to the bomb, she asks him why he keeps looking at her. Oh, I don't know, Ellie, maybe because you have a frakking semi-automatic trained on him. Daniel explains that she looks so much like someone he used to know. Ellie snips, "Someone other than the girl you just professed your love for? Well, aren't you the Romeo?" Daniel says he's far from it, "Believe me," and walks off ahead, even though Ellie is supposed to be leading him. Maybe it's a time-warp thingie? Maybe the director had a liquid lunch? Ellie says she doesn't believe him -- oh, not about not being a Romeo. She knows geek when she smells it. She's just not buying that he, a British woman, and a Chinese man are all members of the U.S. military. Welcome to America, Bitch. Oh, except that they're not, but you know what I mean. Anyhow, she demands to know who he is and why he's on "our" island. Daniel turns and approaches her, and she backs up, even though she's holding the lethal weapon. Despite her tiny size, Ellie could probably take Daniel without the gun, and with both hands tied behind her back, because while geek isn't the pithiest nickname, it's apt. But he's a cute geek, with foamy, foamy brains. When he says he's their best chance of disarming the bomb, Ellie's suddenly all, "Right then, disarm it."
The bomb is suspended in a wooden frame-y platform sort of thing that looks like it could be the skeleton of a look-out post. The word "Jughead" is emblazoned on the bomb's side (Jughead was a model of H-bomb used in 1954.) Daniel gets skittish and hustles down from the structure when he sees it's leaking. He makes Ellie back up, because it's unsafe, and they need to get away from it. She threatens to shoot if he tries anything. Daniel breathlessly addresses her as if she rides the short tank to Camp Richard. "What, you're gonna -- you're gonna shoot me? Is that right? Yeah, that would be perfect because, of course -- rifle fire right to -- what would you call this -- a Hydrogen bomb? Yes! Fantastic idea. Really... inspired." Meeee-ow. I think he's channeling Miles. He takes a breath and a good look at Ellie, and his voice and eyes soften. "Okay, listen to me. Do you people have any access to lead or concrete?" They need to seal up the cracked casing with lead then bury Jughead in concrete, and it won't go off. Ellie wants to know how he knows that, but she's pissed that she had to drag his geeky ass all the way out there just to be told she and her people have to bury the bomb. Daniel starts blathering that the bomb doesn't blow up the island anyhow, because the island is still there (and here, and everywhere) in 50 years. They can bury the bomb and stop worrying about it. Ellie cocks her rifle (if you actually cock rifles -- nobody will let me have any firepower). Daniel confesses to Ellie that he and his friends are from the ~ ~ FUTURE ~ ~, and by their day there still hasn't been any atomic blast. She's near ready to shoot when we hear Sawyer behind her. "Drop the gun, Blondie." Daniel tells Sawyer that he can lower his weapon, because Ellie's okay. Sawyer's glad to let the lady go first just the same, so Juliet comes up and goes all These are not the drones you're looking for, but Sawyer shouts at Ellie again, and she finally drops her gun. Juliet retrieves it and Sawyer relaxes his stance when he sees old Jughead swinging from its platform. Ellie aims the disarming-head-tilt + slow-blink combination in Daniel's direction. "Are they from the future, too?" Sawyer looks at Daniel and says, "You told her?!" Dah duh dah duh dah.
Old Blighty: Desmond charges past a receptionist and into Charles Widmore's office. Widmore dismisses the receptionist and the hired meat who looms up behind Desmond with a mere, "Mr. Hume is a... colleague of mine. Please leave us." Desmond makes it plain he's not there to answer questions but rather to get answers, and promises that once he learns the whereabouts of Daniel Faraday's mother, Widmore will never have to see him again. When Widmore tries to play dumb and pump him for information about Penny, Desmond will have none of it. "Even before you put Faraday on your little boat and sent him off to the island, you spent ten years funding his research. So I figure, you must know something regarding his of kin." Oh man, pay heed to that last bit, because I'll be getting back to it in a tick, oh yes I will. Widmore gets out his address book, and opens it to the pertinent page. He says Faraday's mum lives in L.A. and writes out the address for Des. I guess the lab and chapel from The Lie weren't in Oxford after all, because y'all know Ms. Hawking has to be the lady in question, yes? This makes Ben's trip to see her more straightforward and less temporo-teleportational. Anyhow, Widmore's fairly reasonable, at least on the face of things. He just wants Desmond's promise that he'll take Penny back to wherever they've been hiding, and keep her safe. He advises Desmond to deliver his message and then "get out of this mess; don't put Penny's life in danger." Widmore explains that this all has to do with something that goes back many years and has nothing to do with Des or Penny. However, he neglects to tell Des that Benjamin Linus wants to kill her, which seems sort of dumb if you ask me. Is Penny gonna die, brotha? I can't really bear the thought, so I'ma block it out right now. Lalalalala. Des sneers, "Thanks for the advice," and swans off.
Locke marches into Camp Richard calling out "Richard Alpert" over and over and ignoring Commando Jones, his rifle and his attitude. When Richard comes to meet him, Locke tells him his name, and Richard asks if that's supposed to mean something to him. Locke looks around until the spooky music stops and then simply says, "Jacob sent me." Richard looks Locke in the eye, then orders Jones to lower his gun. Jones is gobsmacked that Richard might actually trust this sodding old man, who can't possibly track him (except that he did) and would/could never know the island better than he (except that he well might). Richard will brook no insolence. He gets right in Jones's face and keeping his voice low says, "I said -- put the gun down... Widmore!" Holy frak on crack! The wheels in my head are turning nearly as fast as Daniel's were when he saw the radiation burns, but I'm not nearly as well greased. (I know he's not in this scene, but hottie scientist boy does need a bath. I'm just saying.) Locke turns to the Commando, a.k.a. "Brit Boy"; a.k.a. "Jones" -- and says, "You're name is Widmore?" Our man responds, "Charles Widmore," which Locke then echoes. When Widmore asks why Locke cares, Locke smiles the smile of I-love-this-crazy-place. He then composes himself and says, "Nothing. Nice to meet you." We cut to commercial which gives me a moment to hook up my auxiliary brain. It's going to be hours before the original version re-solidifies.
Desmond returns to Searcher to find Penny bunked down with their wee bairn, telling him a story as he slips off to dream land. She doesn't make it all scary bitchy this time, either. Desmond smiles as he looks upon all he loves in this life or any other (brotha). Penny catches Des up on their day. Their son wanted to fish in the Thames, but it was not a successful expedition. She asks Desmond if he found Faraday's mum. He LIES that there was no one to find -- she died a few years ago. And bless this show, because I know it loves yanking our collective chain, but finds fresh ways to do so, and doesn't drag out this lie like a soap opera might. Penny immediately calls Des on his bullshite and he immediately confesses to it, and to the fact that Ma Faraday is in L.A. Desmond's set to forget the whole mission. He promised Penny he'd be done in a day. Even when he insists he'll be glad to drop it, Penny knows her man. She asks what he'll do when he wakes up tomorrow and the day and remembers yet another thing. Des says he'll learn to forget it. "It doesn't matter, Pen. You're my life. You... and Charlie." Excuse me, my allergies are acting up. I have to go sob inconsolably clear my throat. Right, then. There we are. They named their boy after Charlie Pace! It's touching, and yet deliciously subversive, since old Pappy Widmore's first name is also Charles. Ah, Show.
Show. Right. Show. Back to the recapping thereof. Desmond looks at Penny and says, "I won't leave you again. Not for this. Not for anything." He holds her face in his uniquely special snowflake hands. Penny knows better. She shakes her head and laughs. "You'll never forget it, Des, so I guess we're going with you." He kisses the side of her head as they embrace. We see a shot of Penny's frightened eyes, peering over Desmond's uniquely special snowflake shoulder.
Meanwhile, back at Camp Richard... Richard examines the compass and recaps for us. "I gave you this... After you were shot in the leg, and I wandered out of the jungle to patch you up?" Locke tells him he's right. Richard wants to know, "Then why don't I remember... well, any of this?"
When Locke says that's because it hasn't happened yet, Richard laughs. He's not sure what Locke's expecting him to say. I'm impressed with Richard's poker face. Locke says, "I expect you to tell me how to get off the island." Richard goes on about that being privileged information and wonders aloud why he'd ever share it. Locke's such a true believer; he doesn't even acknowledge the absurdity of this conversation. "Because you told me that I had something very important to do once I get there." Locke thinks for a moment then adds, "And because I'm your leader."
Richard raises his eyebrows, and you get the feeling he's stifling a belly laugh. "You're my leader?" Locke says that's what Richard told him. Richard says, "Look, I certainly don't want to contradict myself." He fidgets and looks around, repressing the urge to yell that he's dealing with an utter loon. "We have a very specific process for selecting our leadership, and it starts at a very, very young age."
Locke is agitated. "All right, all right. What year is it right now?" When Richard says that it's 1954, Locke tells him that he (Locke) will be born on May 30, 1956 in Tustin, California -- and if Richard doesn't believe him, he should come visit him. Which (as we know) he will, more than once. Locke hears the buzzing start up and realizes he's about to flash. Again. He rises and looks out the tent flap, and then turns back to Richard and demands to know how to get off the island. The light grows brighter and brighter still. Before Richard can or will give Locke information on how to get off the island, there's a flash and then Locke; Sawyer and Juliet; Miles and Charlotte; and Daniel have all jumped in time. They're not too far off from one another (physically) and regroup where the camp was. Daniel runs to Charlotte. He pats her hair and starts to free her hands from their ropes, as she says she's fine. Miles goes all post-modern Eeyore: "Yeah, me too. I'm great too." Hee! Finally free, Charlotte tries to laugh as Daniel looks at her with alarm. She then falls to the ground, as her nose bleeds buckets. Daniel cradles her in his arms, killing her softly with his song, and we fade to black.
So, are you ready for some conclusions and unspoiled speculation? According to captions on the enhanced re-run of the "The Lie," Ms. Hawking's first name is Eloise. She and Ellie wear their hair the same way, both are British, both are fair. I don't feel like I'm jumping to conclusions when I say that Ellie must be Daniel's mother. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were. And that's all well and good, but here's where I break out the crack pipe of speculation. Inhales. Holds. Exales. I think Ellie/Eloise Hawking/Ma Faraday and Charles Widmore are brother and sister, which would make Daniel and Penny cousins, which would add another layer to their whole connection outside of time (and indeed, to Desmond's connection with Ms. Hawking, too). I think this relationship could explain why Widmore was not only Daniel's research benefactor, but why he also cleaned up Daniel's mistake. And I think this relationship could explain why young Commando Charles took such a familiar tone with Ellie, when he snapped at her, down at Camp Richard. His "Shut it, Ellie," sounded too much like my own kids when they're annoyed with one another. Now I'm just wondering if Daniel's profession of love will somehow make him Charlotte's constant, while hoping they're not blood relatives too, because eww. I've got to re-watch that episode. Will Charlotte live? From here, that looks doubtful, but then again, what does death even mean on this island? I'm looking at you, Dr. Christian Shephard. (And my, your name is loaded, isn't it?) If Charlotte doesn't make it, will we still see her around the island? Or will it be elsewhere? Her character's not really been all that significant yet, but she's gotten a lot of screen time, so it seems weird to think this is the end of her. It is, however, the end of this recap. Ta dah!
In addition to recapping Lost, Cindy McLennan also covers How I Met Your Mother for TWoP. Please feel free to email her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com, with any of your own crackpot speculation, or highly scientific theories, for that matter. See you Wednesday.
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