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On the island, all the strand-aways are together at the beach. There's a survivor named Neil, whom Sawyer refers to as Frogurt. Frogurt is as annoying as all get out and not just because he left a stray shirt lying around that Sawyer used to cover his previously shirtless self (what'd he have to do that for?). When Daniel catches up to everyone, he says he has to calculate new bearings before they can think about leaving the island and avoiding the big flash. Charlotte confesses to some memory loss, which scares Daniel. Frogurt flips out on Bernard because Bernard isn't having any luck lighting a fire, and then someone shoots Frogurt with a flaming arrow and he's dead (or, as dead as anyone gets on this crazy island). Hooray! The flaming arrow attack heats up (sorry) which sends the rest of the strand-aways running for cover in the jungle, and Sawyer shouts plans to meet at the creek.
On the mainland, Hurley takes an unconscious Sayid to his house and enlists his father's help in hiding out. When the cops come looking for Hurley, Cheech lies to save his son, which is the least he could do for him, don't you think?
Aaron's just starting to whine to Kate that he wants to go home, when she gets a mysterious phone call from someone she's very surprised to hear from. The someone is in L.A. and they make plans to meet up. The someone is one Sun! She's all lovely at first, but then Kate tells her about the lawyers seeking the blood samples from her and Aaron. She's afraid because someone knows they're lying. Sun tells her not to worry; if they wanted to expose the lie, they would have already. She tells Kate she needs to "take care of them" -- to do anything she has to. Kate asks what kind of person Sun thinks she is. Oh Kate, don't front. Sun recounts how Kate was supposed to get Jin off the freighter, but then didn't. She then plays nice, saying if Kate hadn't done so, they probably all would have died, "instead of just [her] husband," but there's bite behind her words. Kate cries and apologizes. Sun takes her hand and says she doesn't blame her, then smarms, "So, how's Jack?"
Ben gives instructions to Jack to go home and pack anything he might ever want, because once they get to the island, they can never come back again. He'll pick Jack up in six hours. He just has to get Locke's corpse somewhere safe. That somewhere safe turns out to be a butcher shop. Ha. Jill is there and she'll watch the corpse.
Cheech gets Sayid to Jack, who immediately calls Ben and tells him about it. Before Cheech gets home, Hurley comes clean to his mother about their big lie and the crazy, crazy true story, and because she's his mother, she knows he's telling the truth. Meanwhile, Jack sneaks Sayid into the hospital, hooks him up to various monitors, and gives him a shot of something (adrenaline maybe, but in the arm). Sayid comes to, and nearly kills Jack before he realizes it's Jack, who explains that Hurley's father brought him to Jack. Sayid is very concerned whether anyone else knows Hurley's at home.
While Hurley cooks a Hot Pocket, Ben comes in. He almost talks Hurley into going back, but then Hurley remembers that Sayid told him to do the opposite of whatever Ben told him to do, so he runs out and surrenders to the police.
As Sawyer and Juliet are making their way to the creek, he steps on something. The shot is too dark for me to make it out -- it's some sort of nail or dart, though. They hear footsteps and take cover from the armed men walking through the jungle. They flank Sawyer and Juliet, grab her up by her ponytail, and say they're going to cut off both Juliet's hands if they don't tell them everything, and only one if they do. Sawyer tries to talk sense into them (I know!) but they're not willing. Locke saves the day, and kills/wounds/disables the assailants.
At what might be an Oxford office or lab, a cloaked woman fiddles with all sorts of equations and machinery. It looks like she's trying to find the island. She leaves her work space and goes to a chapel. Ben is there waiting, lighting candles. The roof doesn't fall in on his head. (I know!) The woman indicates she's had success, but that Ben only has 70 hours. He says he needs more. She tells him his needs are irrelevant. Seventy hours is what he's got. She turns, and we see it's Mrs. Hawking. Ben tells her he lost Hurley, and wants to know what happens if he can't get them all to come back. Mrs. Hawking says, "Then God help us all," and we fade to black. Dun!
Want more? The full recap starts right below! Welcome to the second hour of the season 5 premiere of Lost. That first hour flew by, didn't it? I hope this recap follows suit. Here we go. We begin shortly after Penny has rescued her darling dashing Desmond, the Oceanic Six, and Frank -- the chopper pilot. Per the title card, it's "Three Years Ago." I see you counting on your fingers. Don't bother. I mean even what I've been referring to (and will continue to refer to) as the current day or present is actually 2007. I think. Yeah. Right. My point is -- have some more popcorn, and use your fingers for a salt lick, like God intended. Aboard Searcher, Des brings two beers up from below deck, while Jack explains to everyone that they need to lie -- to claim they are the only survivors of Oceanic 815, so that they can protect the strand-aways from the wrath of Charles "I Can't Get No Respect" Widmore. Most of the gang is in shock, so unlike us, they don't realize how this almost makes sense -- but not quite. Or do they? Frank's cool with whatever they decide, or maybe he's hammered. Hurley, bless his heart, is totally against lying. He's really this show's moral center -- isn't he? Not that there are a lot of other candidates. He wonders if Penny can't appeal to her father. That's a big No! So, he suggests that if the whole gang tells the same story, it will be credible, regardless of how crazy it is, and then they can...I don't know, get help for the strand-aways... or themselves... I guess. That part's (even) less clear (maybe). He looks to Sayid for support, but doesn't even get a stretch-camisole's worth. Sautéing the words he'll someday eat, Hurley tells Sayid, "You know what, dude? I'm gonna remember this, and someday you're gonna need my help and I'm telling you right now, you're not getting it." Might I suggest a hearty Pinot Noir to wash that down?Mainland; current day: Hurley drives so erratically, you wonder if he's drunk. I know you're trying to wake Sayid, but eyes on the road, dude! Behind him, a cruiser turns on its siren and lights. Hurley pulls over. The cop approaches as Hurley chants to himself to stay calm, and maybe he could if it weren't Ana-fricking-Lucia behind the badge. She asks, "What if I were real," and then berates him for driving like a maniac, and for pulling over -- since the cops already have pictures of him covered in blood, with a gun in his hand. Hurley's protest that it's just catsup falls on deaf, dead, imaginary ears. Well except since there's a lot of time travel going on, not to mention all the extreme undeadness of once-and-maybe-future-dead-people, so she may not be so imaginary after all. Is-it-live-or-Memorex Ana-Lucia tells Hurley he's got to pull together and encourages him to start with the basics. "First off, you need new clothes. Then you need to go to a safe place, and take Sayid to somebody you trust. You getting all this?" When Hurley says he is, she tells him to get to it and cautions him to stay away from the cops. Hurley thanks her, and she starts back to her not-real cruiser (unless it is) but can't leave well enough alone. "Oh, yeah. Libby says 'hi'," she says, thereby undermining much of the confidence she'd just instilled. When Ana-Lucia and her cruiser disappear into the ether, Hurley turns to a still-comatose Sayid and says, "Well, you heard her." because that's... healthy? Who cares? Poor Hurley. Get a move on and do what Ana-Lucia said, even though her teeth now look like she made a deal with the Devil.
On the island, at the beach: Bernard and Rose bicker as they try to start a fire. They're interrupted by a scoffing, actual Redshirt Rose refers to as Neil. She tells him they're focusing on what they can control and he can either help out or shut up. I love her like cookies. From the background, still shirtless Sawyer holds up a shirt, and asks whose it is. Neil the heel replies that it's his. When Sawyer asks if he can have it, a million fangurlies scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" but the boys don't listen. Neil merely whines about it not mattering since they'll all be dead by sundown. Speak for yourself, Redshirt. Sawyer says, "I'll take that as a 'yes', Frogurt." He covers up his pretty, pretty half-nekkidness, while Frogurt whines, "That's Neil.."
No-longer-shirtless Sawyer approaches Juliet, who's examining the little life raft motor boat thingie. Oh man, what's it called? You know what I mean -- the thing Daniel was using to ferry people to the freighter. Anyhow, they wonder why it didn't poof away when everything else did, so Juliet decides that whatever they had with them during the "move" is along for the ride. Okay, then, so why is the camp (and all the supplies) missing? Oh crap, my nose is bleeding, my head hurts and suddenly can't remember my mother's maiden name. Is that significant? Nobody cares about me, because they spy Daniel wandering out of the jungle. While he greets Miles and hugs Charlotte, Juliet and Sawyer approach him. Sawyer says, "Welcome back, Dr. Wizard." When Miles corrects that it's "Mr. Wizard," all he gets for his troubles is a "Shut up." Daniel obfuscates about his two-hour disappearance by babbling on about his backpack and getting lost. We don't care, because we know he's dissembling. Sawyer doesn't care, because Daniel's a nerd and Sawyer's a punk -- he just wants to know when they're going flash again. When Daniel confesses he doesn't know, Sawyer demands to know if he's got a plan.
Juliet suggests they take the Zodiac -- BLESS YOU, JULIET! I've been trying to remember the name of that damned motorized life-raft thingie for about 69 minutes. Anyhow, she thinks they should take it and head out to a shipping lane. Daniel shuts down that idea. They can't just sail out without a bearing and in order to calculate it, Daniel has to figure out where they now are -- in time. When Charlotte asks what the rest of them should do, Miles says he's going to find them something to eat. Juliet wants to know how he'll do that, but he brushes her off, because he can't really explain that he's Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense. Juliet and Sawyer go off to get the water...
Outside a gas station/convenience store, Hurley splashes Sayid's face with water, in an attempt to bring him to. When Sayid doesn't stir, Hurley borrows some money out of his wallet (with a promise to pay him back -- because moral compass, y'all) and shouts-out to Weekend At Bernie's by putting shades on Sayid's unconscious face. When he enters the store, Cheap Trick's "Dream Police" is playing, which is perfect, really, but I've now been earwormed by that song for 6 days. They're driving me insane. Those men inside my braaaaaaaaaaaain. When Hurley goes to pay for his "I Heart Shih Tzus" t-shirt (oh honey, no; get a more size-appropriate dog on your shirt -- how about a nice St. Bernard?), the clerk recognizes him as the lottery winner and a member of the Oceanic 6, but is blessedly oblivious to the muted TV behind her that is covering the APB issued for Hurley -- who is now the prime suspect in 1, 2, 3 murders (the guy Sayid ganked outside Santa Sosa, and the two he offed at the "safe house"). Hurley's not oblivious though, so he tells the cashier to keep the change and hustles back to the car that shelters sweet, slumbering Sayid. From outside, he throws his stained shirts in the car, and dons the new T. My husband says, "I'm glad we didn't have to see that." I give him a dirty look, because he shouldn't be dissing my Hugo. He knows the look but ignores it. "He might have bigger boobs than you do." I give him a different dirty look, because my bosom is just fine, thankyewveddymuch. He sputters something like, "I said bigger, not nicer, because clearly, clearly you have nicer..." I aim the remote control at him at press the "mute" button, but it does no good, so I tune him out and go back to the show. I'm a parent; it's a skill I've honed with purpose.
Just after Hurley drives out of the parking lot, a silver car drives in. It's Kate! While she's checking out a map and trying to decompress, Aaron whines that he wants to go home. She tells him to look at his book, and he does. Clearly she's magic! He doesn't even cry that he has to pee. Of course that's because there's got to be a bathroom at that gas station. Just you wait until you're once again on the open road with no rest stop in sight, Katie my girl. She opens up her cell phone and clicks to her contacts -- Jack Shepherd tops the list, or possibly is the list. She considers calling him, then thinks twice, and snaps her phone shut. Immediately, it rings. Spooky, Mulder! Although the Caller ID reports the caller is unknown, Kate's response indicates otherwise. "I can't believe it's you. No. Hi, how are you? Wait, you're in L.A.? Of course I can meet. Yeah. What? I know exactly where that is. I'll be there in half an hour." When she hangs up the phone, Aaron asks where they're going. Kate tells him, "To see a friend." Hmmmm.
Meanwhile, in the hotel room, Ben takes a package of sorts out of the air vent. Raise your hand if you thought: He learned that from Lilly! Jack returns to the room, still looking clean and sober in his nice suit, but seems oblivious to Ben and whatever that package is that he's now stashing in his bag. Jack's too busy rifling through his cast-off jeans and jacket to pay attention to anything else. Ben says, "You looking for your pills, Jack? I flushed them down the toilet." Jack bluffs that he's glad and was just going to do the same thing, himself. Ben plays along without smirking, even. "Yeah. I figured you were." Crap, that means I've got to downgrade his evility again. Ben's checking out. He instructs Jack to go home and grab a suitcase. "If there's anything in this life you want, pack it in there, because you're never coming back." Sweating, Jack indicates this is good. Ben echoes his, "Good," then says, "I'll pick you up in six hours." In the meantime, he needs to move John Locke's casket somewhere safe. When Jack questions this -- and asks if Locke isn't dead, Ben gives him a non-answer. "I'll see you in six hours, Jack." He leaves Jack in the hotel room, alone.
Cheech makes himself a bit of a Dagwood sandwich, smothered in caviar, and settles into a recliner to watch Exposé [Editor's Note: Which, how dare they?! They know how we feel about Nikki and Paolo!!! -- Mindy], when he's disturbed by a furious banging coming from a side door. He opens the slider to find Hurley -- with a still-out-cold Sayid slung over his shoulders. Hugo says, "Hey Dad, how's it going?" And Cheech's face says, "I smoked way too much weed in my youth to handle this now, maaaaaaaaaaan." Mom's out shopping and Dad hasn't seen the news yet. They check Sayid, who's breathing -- but barely. Hurley explains he was shot by a dart. Cheech asks if they were in a zoo or something. I start wishing I was watching Exposé, because Cheech gets on my nerves after two minutes (I think it's the hair color; oh and the fact that his character walked out on his family and came back only once his devastated son won the lottery). Anyhow? His time is up as far as I'm concerned. Hurley spews about the safe house and getting jumped, and Sayid getting tranqued, and about Sayid pulling him out of the mental institution because he was in danger (as is Sayid). When Dad wants to know who poses the threat -- Hurley acts like he's lying when he says he's not exactly sure, even though as near as I can reckon, he can't be exactly sure. Then the phone rings. Oh, wait, it's the intercom. The LAPD is outside the mansion gate, looking for Hugo. Cheech agrees to cover for his son, provided that he then tells him the truth.
Cheech returns from handling the police -- gobsmacked that Hurley could have killed three people -- which of course he didn't and couldn't, and Cheech you'd totally know that too, if you hadn't walked out on your son when he was just a little boy. I hate your guts, you stupid jerk. When Hurley explains the obvious -- that Sayid did the killing -- the elder Reyes is surprisingly sanguine about it, probably because it will have little-to-no bearing on him sponging off his son and long-suffering wife. He suggests calling a lawyer but Hurley reiterates that people are after him and Sayid, so they can't go public. Cheech takes a good look at Sayid and declares he needs to go to the hospital -- and what part of we can't go public did you not understand, "dad"? Cheech presses his son to get a doctor for Sayid. Gee, if only Hurley knew a doctor who would keep his secret -- one who would understand how important it is -- one who would do all in his power to save Sayid's life and protect him and Hurley from discovery. Ahhh -- there's a flash -- not the kind on the island that makes time go all wonky, just the bright lightbulb of a workable idea. Hurley says, "I think I know what to do." 'Bout time, friend.
Kate and Aaron ride the elevator in a nice hotel, all the way up the 31st floor (weren't you expecting it to be the 42nd or something?). She rings the doorbell (in a hotel?) to a room with no number, and Sun answers. The mutual affection in their eyes is genuine. Or is it?
Ben goes to a butcher shop and pulls a ticket (number 342, with the 3 faint and the 42 in bold, just like that) to ensure his turn at the counter. Once the only other customer leaves, Ben talks to the butcher, Jill. He wants her to corpse-sit Locke for a bit, and asks if Gabriel and Jeffrey have checked in yet. Great, like we need more others to track. Jill confirms they have, that everything is moving according to schedule (maybe they're Angela Chase's dad and his associate from 5-01), and asks how things are with Jack. When Ben tells her Jack's on board, Jill cracks that Ben must have bribed him with pills, but Ben says, "Cut the man some slack. He's been through a lot. We all have." Great, I think I have to downgrade Ben's evility again. I need a chart. Jill apologizes, and Ben leaves her with words of caution about Locke's corpse. "So keep him safe Jill, because if you don't, everything we're about to do won't matter at all." Even in death, Locke's still special -- not a super-miraculous snowflake special like Des, but then -- who is?
Nighttime on the island: Daniel's moping or thinking; Vincent's yawning; Sawyer's brooding. Bernard, who has been furiously working to start a fire sees his hard work pay off, and then... blows it out. Rose's cheers turn to jeers while Bernard tries to explain he was just trying to fan the flames. Frogurt, who earlier mocked Bernard for even bothering to start a fire, now berates him. "I thought you said you knew how to start a fire."
Rose is all, oh no you didn't talk to my man like that.. "And I thought you said you didn't care." When Frogurt whines that he cares about surviving, Rose says, "I think you need to take a time out, Neil." Frogurt stalks off as Rose encourages Bernard to try again.
Charlotte brings Daniel a mango -- she says there are only two and she thought they could do with a bite to eat. As opposed to all of the other people on the beach who are stuffed full of nothing?! She's got a headache that she can't seem to shake, and confesses that earlier she couldn't recall her mother's maiden name. Now why does that sound familiar? Is it significant? Daniel bluffs that it's all on account of stress, but Charlotte suspects he knows what's happening to her. A loud cry of "Dinner," saves Daniel from having to give a straight -- okay, it saves Daniel from having to again pretend to give a straight answer.
Miles is back with a dead boar he found, but assures the rest of the strand-aways that it's only been dead three hours, which confuses everyone who doesn't know Miles talks to dead people (and boars, apparently). He's now Haley Joel Doolittle, I guess. The strand-aways are too hungry and tired to worry about getting details they know are only likely to confuse and upset them -- if they're even true at all, so they stop questioning. When the call goes out for a knife, Frogurt snarks, "A knife? You need a knife? It's over by the Cuisinart, to the stove." When Miles asks him what his problem is, Frogurt complains that his problem is that they don't have a knife or anything, and that "Bernie the dentist" can't even start a fire. When Sawyer tells Frogurt to ease up, Frogurt says, "It's Neil, you inbred, and I'm not gonna ease up, 'cause I'm tired, and I'm hungry and I'm screwed!" Despite Juliet-Galadriel's attempts to calm him, he's in a full-on panic. She should have brought him a sandwich (or lembas); it worked with Jack. Neil continues to freak out. "How are we gonna get through this? You heard what I just said. We can't even get fire!" And the island must be back to healing mode, because a flaming arrow flies out of nowhere and into Frogurt's chest. Hooray!!! Thank you, island! I generally prefer my Frogurt frozen (frogen?), but I'm game to try the flambé. Oh, noes! Now flaming arrows are raining down on the beach. Perhaps because of his proximity to Juliet (or possibly the combination of the dark shot, and the extreme glare from the sunlight that's currently shining through my windows and onto my TV screen) when Sawyer commands everyone to RUN, he reminds me of Aragon, and frankly? I've never found him more appealing.
After the commercial (which as a fan I curse, but as a recapper, I bless), Sawyer continues to bark orders, because someone's got to take charge of the terrified and fleeing strand-aways in Jack and Locke's (and Kate's and Sayid's) absence. "Come on! Split up! Everybody, get to the creek!" When Juliet stops to help a victim, Sawyer talks sense into her and keeps her moving. People are falling (and flaming!) left and right, and I think/hope/pray this is the creative staff's way of getting rid of a lot of the deadwood. By season 5, if I don't know your name (and I'm looking at you, Frogurt, or I was), I just want you off my beach. No offense. If it's any consolation, it's unlikely you'll stay dead, anyhow. Say "Hi," to Shannon and Boone for us.
Upstairs at Hurley's, Cheech wants to know if Hurley's crazy or lying to him. Poor Hurley, we know he hates to lie and the topic just keeps beating him about the head, so bless him, he comes as clean as he's willing to with Dad. "I'm not crazy, and I have a really good reason why I'm lying to you." He's saved from answering or lying anymore when Mama Reyes returns, sees Sayid in the living room and screams, "Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?" Prince Harry says, "Oi mum, that's not a Paki. I know the bloody Ragheads are difficult to tell apart, but that there's an Iraqi, innit?. Harry? Nobody's listening to you and your filthy, racist, mouth, you Toth. Instead, Hurley tries to reassure his mother that Sayid's not dead, but she's pretty sure he's not breathing. Just in case, I stop breathing, too. But Hurley and Cheech hustle downstairs to Carmen and Sayid, confirm Sayid's still breathing -- so I do the same -- as the men put their plan into motion. Carmen has a million questions, and Hurley promises it will all make sense, but he has to hustle Sayid and Dad out of the house. Cheech drives right by the cops and waves the way he might have 20 years ago when carrying a different sort of contraband in his car.
While Aaron snoozes on the couch, Kate and Sun catch up over tea. Sun's only in L.A. for a few days to attend to some "business." She shows Kate a baby picture of Ji-Yeon, which seems weird, because the kid's only 9 months younger than Aaron, but whatever (Ji-Yeon is at home in Seoul with Nana Paik, by the by). Sun would someday like to see the two island babies play together. Kate tells Sun all about the court order for a blood test, and that her maternity of Aaron is being challenged. She says "they" know we're lying. After listening to Kate's story, Sun wisely says that whoever it is, they're not interested in exposing the big lie. If they were, they would just do it. She's sure that whoever "they" are, they just want Aaron, and she tells Kate she needs to take care of them -- to do anything she has to, to keep Aaron. Kate gets all huffy. "What kind of a person do you think I am?" Oh Kate, don't front, particularly not with Sun. She knows what kind of person you are -- she knows your capabilities. Of course Sun says all that with a look, rather than words, and we flash...
...Back to the freighter -- and the day of the great escape. Jin runs out onto the deck of the freighter, screaming in Korean to the people in the departing helicopter. Sun yells for him, but Jack holds her back, and the chopper keeps flying. In the present, Sun reminds Kate that she's the kind of person who makes hard decisions when she has to. We flashback to Kate on the deck of the freighter -- she's handing baby Aaron over to Sun, while she promises to get Jin. In the present, Kate tries to explain what happened, but Sun cuts her off. "You did what you had to do, and if you hadn't we probably all would've died, instead of just my husband." A tearful Kate apologizes, and one moment Sun seems moved and the , it's almost as if we see the ice form inside her, despite her warm gesture of taking Kate's hand, and her reassuring words that she doesn't blame Kate. When Kate seems nearly mollified, Sun withdraws her hand, sits back, and her smile turns almost into a parody of itself. "So," she says, "How's Jack?" That was creepy, y'all. I thought she blamed two people -- her father and Ben Linus, and I've suspected that perhaps she actually blamed her father and Widmore, but was faking that she blamed Linus, so that she could later extract her revenge. Right now, I'm thinking she blames Jack (and maybe Kate). I just don't know. From the look on her face, neither does Kate.
Cheech meets up with Jack in a parking garage, transfers a STILL unconscious Sayid to Jack's custody, and gives him what little he knows of Sayid's back-story with the darts and the people who are after him and Hurley. He also tells Jack that Hurley's still at home -- freaking out. Before departing, Cheech tells Jack that when this is over, he'd better stay away from Hugo, which is freaking laughable, isn't it? I mean, as far as Cheech knows, Sayid -- whom he's so bent on helping -- is the three-time killer, while Jack is the doctor who's just trying to help out, at great risk to his person and profession. After Cheech takes his leave, Jack drives up to the front of the hospital, but before he rushes Sayid in, he calls Ben and tells him he's got Sayid and that Hurley's at home. The camera zooms in on Ben's face as the it's-all-going-according-to-Ben's-plan music takes us to commercial.
At Hurley's, his mom wants to know who Sayid is -- she thought he was his friend. Hurley explains he is his friend, but that he's got this double life, and assures his mom that Sayid is a good guy. She's not buying on account of the fact that Sayid's killed three people, since in her book, good guys don't kill any people. Tsk. MA! You're always like that. I'm old enough to make my own decisions. (Sorry, we've got an adolescent in the house.) After some back and forth, Carmen insists that Hugo tell her the truth. And so he does, which is why I didn't include the "Previously On Lost" bits in my recap of episode 5-1.
In which Hurley explains it all: "We lied, Ma... All of us -- the Oceanic Six -- we lied about what happened after the crash... See, we did crash, but it was on this crazy island. And we waited for rescue, and there wasn't any rescue. And there was a smoke monster, and other people on the island. We called them the Others, and they started attacking us. And we found some hatches, and a button you had to push every 108 minutes or... well, I was never really clear on that. But... the others didn't have anything to do with the hatches. That was the Dharma Initiative, but they were all dead. The others killed them, and now they're trying to kill us. And then we teamed up with the Others, because some worse people were coming on a freighter. Desmond's girlfriend's father sent them to kill us. So we stole their helicopter and flew it to their freighter, but it blew up. And we couldn't go back to the island, because it disappeared, so then we crashed into the ocean, and we floated there for a while, 'til a boat came and picked us up. And by then, there were six of us. That part was true. But the... but the rest of the people who were on the plane -- they're still on that island." Oh my word, I need to smish him. Doesn't that feel better, baby? You should always tell your mother the truth. Anyone else need a cigarette? (Don't tell my mom.)
Carmen lays her hand on her son's. "I believe you. I don't understand you, but I believe you."
Hurley can't be easily consoled, poor love. "A lot of people died, Ma. And now this bad stuff is happening because... we shouldn't have lied." Mrs. Reyes, you've done a fine job raising your son.
As Sawyer and Juliet are making their way to the creek, he steps on something. The shot is too dark for me to make it out -- it's some sort of nail or dart, though. Sawyer and I both say, "Son of a bitch." I can't speak for him, but it's because I suspect this is an important plot point, but who call tell with this crazy show. Sawyer gets shirty with Juliet when she points out that the creek is sort of a long creek, and maybe not the clearest meet-up point. When they hear footsteps, they take cover from the armed men patrolling the jungle. As Sawyer and Juliet whisper to one another about the identity of the armed men, I nearly get a thought, but it won't crystallize. Later, I read someone else express what I was thinking (or trying to), and I apologize for not thinking to jot down where I read it -- but here goes... As Sawyer and Juliet whisper, I can't help but think about all the whispers our original Lost-Aways heard, whenever the Others were about, and I wonder if what they were hearing were the furtive conversations of (now) fellow (time) travelers. Anyhow, the armed men flank Sawyer and Juliet, grab her up by her ponytail, and restrain both her and Sawyer. A Brit with a rifle shouts, "What are you doing on our island?" and we cut to commercial, son of a gun (and hooray!).
At the hospital, Jack puts an oxygen mask on Sayid and then cranks up the flow from the cylinder, which is nearly at the "refill" level. What's more curious though, is the gage that...well, I guess it's supposed to be a pressure gage, but I don't actually know, so I won't waste your time bluffing, but it's the gage on the left. The numbers on the dial read 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 15. And while the bolding is mine, the "15" is not. It's a bit curious that the number isn't 14? Jack slaps some monitor leads on Sayid's unshaven chest -- that's going to hurt like a bastard when he takes them off. He turns on the ECG monitor and heads for the supply closet, and not to get himself some happy pills, either. He grabs something, which I figure must be some form of adrenaline. He loads the syringe, swipes Sayid's arm with rubbing alcohol, and injects the solution, but there's no change in Sayid or in his monitor readings. "Son of a bitch! Come on, Sayid. Come on." He checks Sayid's pupils for a response, first one -- then the other, when Sayid suddenly comes to -- and nearly throttles the snot out of Jack! At least until he gets through to Sayid that it's just him. I guess Sayid isn't a SKATEr after all, but he sure had me and Jack fooled for a minute. As Sayid catches his breath and gets his bearings, Jack closes the door to the room, and catches him up on what he missed during his nap. "You're fine. You're in the hospital. Hurley's father brought you to me." Sayid questions this last bit, but Jack just says, "Sayid, you've been attacked." Sayid demands to know where Hurley is. When Jack says he's at his parents' house, Sayid wants to know who is with him. Jack says, "I don't know. His mother, maybe?" Sayid's clearly concerned whether or not anyone else knows he's there, so let's hop over to Hurley's and find out.
Hurley's just nuked a Hot Pocket and burns his fingers a little, taking it out of the microwave. This is one of the reasons to use a plate, sweetie. A figure approaches him from behind and says, "Hello, Hugo!" You don't need me to tell you it's Ben, but I'm going to, because it is Ben. Hurley freaks and launches the Hot Pocket at Ben. A hot Hot Pocket as a weapon looks to be a great idea in theory, but in practice, it's only as good as your aim, and Hurley's aim ain't. The Hot Pocket splatters against the wall in such a way that leaves me not at all anxious to try one. Hurley tells Ben to get away from him, but Ben comes on as smooth as silk. I mean, really. "Hugo, I know you're in trouble. I can assure you I've taken care of everything. I have a car waiting for us out back. The police didn't see me come in. I can get you out of here." When Hurley refuses, saying that Sayid warned him about Ben, Ben insists he's taking Hurley to Sayid, which I suppose is true -- that's what makes Linus so hard to suss out. I knew someone like that once -- lied better with the truth than anyone I've ever seen. Hurley's not buying and Ben is so understanding of that -- of any and all doubts anyone might have about him that he's got to be bad, doesn't he? Or good. Or bad. Frak! He talks about how Jack (true) and Sayid (formerly true; currently LIE) came around to trusting him, and tries to coerce Hurley into doing the same. And just about when I'm ready to believe Ben, he gets a little too good. His words are too velvety, too reassuring. As he tries to talk Hurley into coming back with them to the island, all I can hear in my head is the serpent tempting Eve. Take a listen: "Come with us, Hugo. And this'll be over. You can stop hiding. You can stop worrying about the stories and the deceptions." Hurley's face betrays his hunger for the truth, and then Ben goes in for the kill. "If you come with me, you won't ever have to lie again." He lets this sink in then adds, "Please. Let me help you."
Hurley mulls it over. I can see the wheels turning in his mind. I can feel what he's feeling, because Garcia is just that good. And truly, I have no idea what he should do, but I know what I want him to do. I wait with bated breath. Hurley's expression changes from one of despair to one of resolve. "Never, dude!" You tell him, Hurley. He runs outside, and though Ben gives chase, Hugo has too big of a lead, and surrenders to the cops who have been staking out his house. "You got me! That's right, you got me! That's right! I'm the killer... I'm a murderer. I killed four people... three people. However many are dead, I killed them." Ha! "I killed them all. Just get me away from here."
As the cops read Hurley his Miranda Rights, Hurley searches Ben's face for a reaction, and smiles when he realizes he's frustrated the master's plans. And I'm happy for Hurley, because for once -- as my friend Connie pointed out to me -- for once, he's shown agency. I hope you don't live to regret it darling, because this was a huge step for you.
On the island, the British soldier interrogates Juliet and Sawyer. He wants to know what they're doing, how many of "them" there are, and how they got there. When Sawyer tries to intervene on Juliet's behalf, the soldier speaks to him with less respect than you'd show a dog. He wants them to tell him everything, or he'll cut off Juliet's "other" hand. (And hey, isn't Dr. Chang missing a hand or an arm, or something?) Sawyer's all, what do you mean other hand, so Brit explains, "The first one isn't negotiable. It just illustrates how serious I am." Sawyer tries to talk sense with the man (I know!), but he'll have none of it. Just as another commando is going to cut off Juliet's hand, something knocks him down (the shot is so dark, and the glare on my TV is so strong that I just can't tell what). This surprise attack gives Sawyer and Juliet an opportunity to fight back. There's a struggle, and I can tell the commandos are getting bested, because Juliet ends up with Brit Boy's rifle, and she's no Kate in a fight. I'm just saying... As one of the commandos makes a move for her, he's downed by a knife that flies out of the darkness and into his gut. Juliet points the rifle toward the direction from which the knife seems to have come. A dark figure lumbers out of the thick of the jungle, and over to the corpse to retrieve his weapon. He withdraws it, and raises it to inspect the blade. It's none other than Locke (who sort of needs a bra, or I guess that would be "bro" or is it "manzierre"?). He nods towards his sometime-comrades. "James. Juliet. Nice to see ya." And everyone breathes (er... except for the currently dead commandos). I start wondering about how many rules this breaks, when I realize I do have a deadline, but seriously? How many rules did that break? We need Daniel or Chang to tally it up.
A cloaked figure furiously scribbles equations on the blackboard in a lab/office. I wish I could tell you about the math, but it's all Greek to me. Ahem. She walks over to a computer that looks much more like the kind of terminal Desmond used in the Swan, than anything made in the recent past, so I'm not only wondering where she is (I'm guessing Oxford) but when she is (the 80s? I don't know). She enters some data until a message flashes on and off, upon the monitor: "EVENT WINDOW DETERMINED." Behind her, a Foucault's Pendulum swings and seems to be trying to plot a point (while simultaneously being an actual plot point). For more on that, read this post in the forum. Even without reading that, it seems to me that she's trying to locate the island (or its inhabitants) in the space-time continuum. She leaves her workspace, which seems to be in a basement of sorts and ascends a spiral staircase to a chapel. Ben is there, lighting candles. OH BEN! I just decided you were Satan, would you knock it off. Pick a side. Or show your true side, or something. You're making me dizzy! He asks the hooded figure, "Any luck?" At the altar, with her back still to Ben and to us, she replies that she has. She asks (and by her accent she's British, by the way) if he's had any luck, and when he starts talking about his difficulties, she scolds that he'd better get busy, because he only has 70 hours. When Ben complains that he needs more time, she says, "What you need is irrelevant." She turns and it's none other than Ms. Hawking -- the woman who worked in the jewelry store where Desmond went to by a ring for Penny, back in season 3, when he was flashing in and out of time. Excellent! I'd better let her finish what she's saying though, because she's a wee bit intimidating, no? Anyhow, after she turns, she says, "Seventy hours is what you've got."
Ben tries to plead his case. "Look, I lost Reyes tonight." They both take in the weight of this loss (oh no, I swear that was unintentional) and Ben says, "So what happens if I can't get them all to come back?"
Ms. Hawking only says, "Then God help us all."
DUN!
Wednesday, we're getting episode 5-3, "Jughead," in which Des looks for Daniel's mother and Locke finds out who has been attacking the strand-aways.
Cindy McLennan's brain is still dribbling out of her ears from the first two hours of the season, but she sort of likes the sensation, so feel free to e-mail her with your pet theories at CynthiaMcLennan[at]gmail.com.
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