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What you've got to know is that everyone on the island seems to be jumping through time, but remaining on the island. And on the mainland, people are just jumping out of their skins about whether or not they should go back to the island.
Ben is getting Jack cleaned up and off drugs and trying to convince him to help round up the rest of the Oceanic Six and get them back to the island. Because of Jeremy Bentham/John Locke's visit to Jack last season, he's already ready, though less than confident. They want to get Hurley too, but learn from the news that Hurley's wanted for murder (committed by Sayid) and has escaped from the psychiatric hospital.
Meanwhile, lawyers representing an undisclosed client go to Kate's house with a court order to collect blood samples from her and Aaron in order to (dis)prove she's Aaron's mother, so Kate takes Aaron and goes on the lam a.k.a. "vacation."
Sun's flying from Korea to Los Angeles, or trying to, when Widmore has her detained. He's sort of like the Godfather. He wants more respect than she gave him on their first meeting. Sun's all, "All right, can I go to L.A. now?" and Widmore's all, "Sure, seeing as how we both want to kill Ben Linus and all."
On the island, Locke was with Richard when the island moved, but then poof -- he was alone, standing in the pouring rain. He sees Eko's brother's plane as it crashes, and tries to climb up the vines to see if there are any survivors but someone on the ground shoots him in the leg. It's Ethan, who doesn't recognize Locke because he hasn't met him yet. Just when he's about to kill Locke, poof -- Ethan is gone too, and Locke's lying beside the long since burned out wreckage of the plane. Richard meets up with Locke again, tends to his wound and gives him a compass, because the time they meet, Richard won't know Locke. Confused? Excellent. That means you've been paying attention.
Elsewhere on the island, Daniel Faraday tells the rest of the castaways and other various stranded people (I'll call them all strand-aways) to think of the island as a record, and right now, it's skipping. They are all "dislodged from time" which is why their camp has disappeared without a trace. It's also why -- sometimes -- after a bright white flash, the hatch is still all blown to pieces and other times it is back in its original recipe with Desmond locked inside, furiously punching in the numbers. Daniel stops Sawyer from getting into original-recipe hatch and seeking out Desmond's help (and some supplies) and lectures him on the rules of time travel. After Sawyer, Juliet, and Miles leave to go back to the beach, Charlotte's nose starts bleeding and Daniel freaks. He tells her to follow Sawyer, Juliet and Miles, and then bangs on the door and gets Desmond to open up. Desmond doesn't recognize him, but Daniel tells him he's the only person who can save them all because the rules don't apply to him (Des). Daniel tells Des that if the helicopter ever comes and ever gets him back home, then Des has to go to find Daniel's mother at Oxford, her name is…
Desmond wakes up with Penny -- in the present -- and tells her he was back on the island. Pen reminds him that was three years ago and says he must have been dreaming. Desmond says it wasn't a dream, it was a "memory" and that they have to go to Oxford.
There's a flashback to right after the escape. Aboard Penny's boat, Searcher, Jack is convincing Desmond, Penny, Frank (the helicopter pilot) and the rest of the Oceanic 6 to tell the big lie about how they're the only survivors, so Widmore doesn't kill the strand-aways. Hurley doesn't want to lie, and thinks if all of them come clean, they can get help for their friends, but no one will back him up, not even Sayid. Hurley tells Sayid he'll remember how Sayid didn't have his back, and he'll do the same to him, someday.
In the present, Hurley and Sayid are on the run, but the safe house Sayid takes Hurley to is not so safe, and Sayid gets shot with tranq darts. Hurley flees with the unconscious Sayid and gets pulled over by the cops. Oh, wait. It's not the cops. It's Ana-Lucia (!!!) who tells him she's not real. She inspires him to get himself together and get Sayid to someone he trusts, and to be smart and not get caught. As she walks off, she says, "Libby says hi," and completely undermines whatever confidence and determination Hurley was just starting to summon. Nice work, Ana-Lucia. She and her cruiser vanish, on account of not being real, or time travel. Hurley turns to the unconscious Sayid, says, "Well, you heard her," and starts his engine for his wild ride.
Want more? The full recap starts right below! Welcome back to the island (wherever it may be), and to the mainland (no matter how it may be), and to the lives of our beloved and be-hated characters (whenever they may be)! Who was it who said: "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture?" After watching my brain dribble out my ears and onto the floor (I am *so* not cleaning that up) for the past few days, I've decided to petition them to add a "...is like summarizing an episode of Lost" clause. You in?Excellent. And so it is with few remaining brain cells, great fear, trepidation, and a smoke-monster of a deadline breathing down my neck (not to mention a fistful of tranquilizers that could lull the GOP into submission for the first half of Obama's first term) that I bring to you -- without further ado (except for that bit there, because what is the statement "without further ado" but actual and further ado...I'm just sayin'...) er...where was I? Ah, yes, I'm right on target: the fifth season premiere of Lost. Love to hate it? Hate to love it? Hate yourself for loving it? Whatever -- you know you want it bad, baby, because it hurts so good. And if you love yourself for hating it, come on over to our forum where you will find many likeminded people, but I digress... when I shouldn't because digression is the specialty of Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof and their merry band of minions, so let's get to them getting to it, shall we?
Previously on Lost. Yeah, right. I am not going there. We've got your previously on right here. Besides, it doesn't matter what happened previously. Really, it doesn't.
On the island, in the distant past... a.k.a. currently on Lost, we see an old-style "digital" alarm clock that's really analogue. When the numbers flip from 8:14 to 8:15 AM, the alarm sounds. A man slaps the off button and goes back to sleep. A baby cries and the woman (we'll decide she's his wife) tells the sleeping man that the baby is awake and it's his turn for baby duty. For crying out loud you loads, it's 8:15! That's a darned good baby. Get up and give him some breakfast. Contrary to what some people thought, the wife, although Asian, is not Sun (and looks nothing like her), and the baby is never referred to as either a girl or a boy. Despite the baby's plaintive cries of hunger, the man goes to his record player first, and starts up Willie Nelson's "Shotgun Willie" because his taste in music is sounder than his priorities. We never see the man's face as he feeds the baby (who appears to me to be Asian, despite the claims of those crackheads in the forums insisting the baby might be the ginger Charlotte). I'm also going to go out on a limb and guess the baby is a boy, or at least refer to him as such because writing the baby is getting on my nerves. Once the baby's appetite is sated, the man showers, shaves, brushes his teeth, and dresses without ever showing us his face. Meanwhile, poor Willie Nelson's gotten stuck. This used to happen with records when they got scratched, moppets. And thus it is with Willie Nelson: "Well you can't make a record, if you can't make a record, if you can't make a record, if you can't make a record, if you can't make a record, if you can't make a..." screeeiiitch. Hmmm. Seems like a clue.
The man lifts the needle from the record, shuts off the player, and walks out of his barracks and then across New Otherton, back when it was looking all spiffy and new. We only see him from behind -- tan pants, black shirt, dark brown or black hair. He enters a building and is greeted as "Doc" by a man who tries to hand him a piece of paper. His offer is rebuffed as our mysterious faceless man finally speaks. "I don't need a script." Wait! I know that voice. Could it be...oops, sorry, he's still talking. A woman helps him on with a white lab coat as he says, "Let's go. I don't have all day." You and me both, Doc. Doc sits down to film take one of Dharma Orientation Film #2, and we finally see his face. He's Dr. Pierre Chang, who introduces himself as Dr. Marvin Candle, yet again, as he begins the orientation for Station 2: The Arrow and explains, "This station's primary purpose is to develop defensive strategies and gather intelligence on the island's hostile, indigenous population..." He's interrupted by a Dharma worker who reports that there's a problem down at the Orchid.
Underground at the Orchid: A foreman explains to Chang that they were cutting through rock when the drill melted. They went through six carbon drill bits, and when the last one "just fried" his operator started holding his head and freaking out. We see the drill operator lying unconscious on the ground -- with a bloody nose -- which is way more serious than a bloody nose in the real world. The foreman explains they took a sonar image of the wall, and found an open chamber about 20 meters in. He shows Chang a print out of the image, and we can see the DONKEY WHEEL! I love this crazy show. The foreman's all ready to lay charges here, there and everywhere to get to whatever is back there, but Chang forbids it. He tells the foreman that the location of the Arrow was chosen for it's proximity to a seemingly limitless supply of energy, and if they can harness it, it will allow them to manipulate time. The foreman punches him in the nose, throws down his hardhat, retreats to his barracks, pops open a cold beer, and yells at his kids that they're never going to college because too much thinking drives a good man crazy. Or perhaps he just snickers and tells Chang, "Right, okay, so what -- we're going to go back and kill Hitler?" Chang sneers that the foreman shouldn't be absurd and blathers on about rules -- rules that can't be broken -- but I can't help but wonder if Rule 1 shouldn't and doesn't read: Do not manipulate time, particularly with a donkey wheel, m'kay? And if it does read as such, then Rule 2 should and perhaps does read: But if you're going to ignore Rule 1, then go ahead and kill Hitler, seeing as he's freaking Hitler and all. The foreman, who remembers he's trapped in an island cavern-y mine-ish sort of place with this crazed and haughty academic and that it's way too difficult to get back to the mainland, decides to play along. He asks Chang what he wants him to do. Chang orders him to do nothing, explaining that drilling even one centimeter further risks releasing all that energy. "If that were to happen -- God help us all." If the energy turns out to be glow-y and green, with shiny, shiny hair, I'm so calling it Dawn. Forewarned is forearmed.
Chang storms off and bumps into a worker whose face he doesn't see -- but we do; it's Daniel Faraday. He apologizes as Chang yells at him. With Chang gone, Daniel heads straight for the foreman. As the crew carries out the still unconscious bloody-nosed drill operator, the foreman says to Daniel, "Did you hear that? Time travel! How stupid does that guy think we are?" Daniel had better never play poker, because he tries for a, "Shahhhh, really, what a loon" face but ends up with a "My burrito disagrees with me; I hope I don't hurl on my shoes, stop looking at me STOP LOOKING AT ME" face, instead. Left alone for a moment, Daniel takes a good look at the holes drilled into the solid rock wall. The camera focuses on two of the holes -- which look like an idol's eyes -- and then zooms in on one, which is gazing as intently at Daniel as he is at it.
On the mainland -- present: Jack waits with Locke's corpse in the Hoffs/Drawlar (i.e. an anagram for "Flash Forward) Funeral Parlor. Ben enters, and encourages Jack to close the casket. They've got to move Locke's body and pick up Hugo. Through his drug-induced haze, Jack tells Ben that Hurley is locked up in a mental institution. Ben, being the evil incarnate, is happy because this will make it easier to get Hurley than the rest of Jack's friends. Wallowing in negativity as only an addict can, Jack slurs that they're not his friends, then ignores Ben's chiding. Jack asks, "How did we get here? How did all of this happen?" Ben stays on message -- it happened because they left the island. Just as intent on staying on task, Ben announces they should get started as he slams closed Locke's casket and we flash...
...Forward -- a few hours maybe -- to a hotel bathroom. Jack is shaving off his beard which is even fuglier than fake. HOORAY! I wanted that more than I wanted to know about the four-toed statue and the Black Rock. Maybe Ben's not the evil incarnate so much as one of its minions. Jack's not only clean, but sober (enough). He wants to know what happens once they get Hurley. Ben says they'll get Sun, and Kate. Jack doesn't see that last one happening -- and that's not just the negativity of addiction talking. Jack asks Ben when he last saw Locke (alive). Ben says it was on the island and we flash...
...Back to the Orchid. Ben narrates over a video montage of their last encounter, right before Ben moved the island. "On the island, in the orchid station below the greenhouse. I told him I was sorry for making his life so miserable, and then he left." LIES LIES ALL LIES. Well, not all, but we see (and remember) that it was Ben who left. Jack, please don't believe him. Back in the present day, in their hotel room, with his memory and LIE concluded, Ben says, "So obviously John's visit to you made an impression. What did he say to make you such a believer?"
Jack says, "Sawyer, Juliet, everyone from the boat and everyone we left behind -- John said that they'd die too if I didn't come back." Sawyer? Really Jack? C'mon. You can't kid a kidder. Ben wants to know if John told Jack what happened to the strand-aways after the island moved. When Jack says no, Ben says, "Then I guess we'll never know." Oh, I'm upgrading him again -- if not to the evil incarnate then at least to Assistant To The... And just like Ben's heart, the screen goes black.
A title card informs us that it is "Three Years Earlier." Ben pushes the frozen donkey wheel. Locke, Richard, and the Others sit in the jungle, listening to weird sounds. On the beach, shirtless Sawyer and (a be-shirted, sorry fellas) Juliet rise to their feet, at the same sound. At sea, Daniel and the crew aboard the little rescue raft turn toward the sound. Making its way through the sky is a helicopter. Inside, Aaron cries as Kate clutches him to her, and Frank, Desmond, Hurley, Jack, and Sun try to figure out what's going on with that noise. When we return to him, Ben's still struggling with the frozen wheel, but he's gotten his spoke nearly to the wall - when there's a brilliant flash of white light. On the beach, Juliet and Sawyer shield their eyes. And from out at sea, Daniel and crew watch as the island is enveloped in light. They shield their eyes. In the jungle, Richard and Locke shield their eyes as the music swells. Everyone shields their eyes, okay? When the light dissipates, Locke is standing alone in the jungle, in the pouring rain -- an apt metaphor for...oh who cares? There's too much to cover. The point is Richard and all the other Others are gone. On the rescue boat, Neil "Frogurt" asks Daniel what happened. Daniel says, "We must have been inside the radius," which may be accurate and scientific, but is no help at all.
While Sawyer and Juliet are trying to figure out what happened, Sawyer notices the freighter is gone. Juliet is afraid it went down, but Sawyer rules that out -- because it was just there, coughing black smoke. Juliet points out that the helicopter has disappeared from sight, too. Before they can freak themselves out even more, Bernard comes charging down the beach, hollering for Rose. Rose runs onto the beach from a different spot, and thank goodness, because you can take your Jack and Kate, and your Kate and Sawyer, and your Jack and Sawyer, or what have you. Just gimme my Bernard and Rose. Theer luv is so pur!!!!11 In an effort to calm them down (because he's a 'shipper, too) Sawyer suggests they return to the camp, but Bernard explains the camp and everything in it is gone. He leads them back to where the camp "was" and shows them how it has disappeared -- the kitchen, the food, the water, and their tents. Daniel returns -- he got back to shore quickly, don't you think? He says everything isn't gone -- so everyone who isn't Charlotte looks at Daniel like he's crazier than all the people who thought the little Asian baby in the opener grew up to be Charlotte. Non-Asian, still quite British and ginger Charlotte, meanwhile, hugs him. Sawyer wants to know who the hell Daniel is and what the hell he means by saying the camp isn't gone. Miles introduces Daniel as, "Dan, our physicist." Daniel tells them they have no time, then asks Juliet to take him to something that was man-made -- some sort of a landmark. When Juliet suggests the Dharma station that's about 15 minutes from there, Sawyer says, "You mean the hatch -- the one we blew up?" Daniel says that's perfect and that they should move before "it" happens again. Sawyer, speaking for the fans, demands to know what "it" is. President Clinton says that depends on what the meaning of "is" is, and so they all make out. Or, maybe not. But they should, I mean Sawyer's still shirtless. It seems that without Kate around, he isn't nearly so randy. He wants Daniel to answer him, and he wants to know where the camp has gone, too. Daniel tells him the camp isn't gone -- it just hasn't been built yet and the creators take a moment to remind us we're watching Lost and to give the stage to those who pay for it (with their cold hard cash, not their sanity).
And what timing! It's almost like someone scripted that line for Sawyer, because we see John Locke running through the jungle. At least it's no longer raining on the poor bastard. He climbs up a hill and as he nears the summit, a small, yellow prop plane flies overhead, and crashes a ways off. I yell, "The drug plane!" My husband looks at me with quiet concern. Locke watches as the remains smolder, when something lying in the tall grass catches his eye. He scoots down the other side of the hill -- in the general direction of the fresh wreckage, and finds a statue of Our Lady of the Poppies, so I turn to my husband and say, "See? Drug plane." My husband nods, and yet he confiscates my tranquilizers. Mean! Locke makes his way through the jungle and comes upon the site where Boone died. The plane though, is not a burnt-out wreck on the jungle floor (sheesh, I've already used that expression twice in this recap -- what a hack); it is still teetering atop the weird trees on which it landed, all that time ago, when Yemi died, which is apparently now. Um, no, I don't follow either (except I DO and that's scary). You think being defenestrated by his own father would leave Locke a little wary of heights, but no -- he's in full-on Action!Locke mode (with maybe a side of Redemption!Locke), so he scales the wall of root-like trunks or trunk-like roots, as the yellow plane continues to teeter overhead. A shot fires and ricochets off the tree thingies. Then another. Locke yells out, "Hey!" like you do when you're being shot at...I hear. Despite his protest, a third shot rings out, and Locke falls to the jungle...er...ground.
Who didn't see that coming? Besides Locke, I mean.
As he lies in the dirt, and his own blood, Locke realizes he's having difficulty moving. He's also been shot in the leg. We hear his assailant approach. Locke does, too. Locke tries to hoist himself to a sitting position, and who should burst through the thicket but ETHAN! Training his rifle on Locke he asks, "Who are you?" Locke recoils with shock, and looks for recognition in Ethan's eyes -- where there are only questions. Ethan demands to know how many others are onboard. When Locke says he didn't come on the plane, for just a second I think he's lying, until I realize he's referring to the yellow Beechcraft, not Oceanic Air 815. My great-uncle once crashed a little yellow plane (a Piper, I think -- is there such a plane?) in this lake and walked...er...swam away unscathed. As far as we know, it's still there. Which has nothing to do with anything, but I've been running from the TV to the kitchen to check on my oldest son's birthday cake and I'm all discombobulated. Despite the fact that I'm but a wee baby recapper, he turns 13 today. I'm quite sure my life's been skipping like a record (baby). So yeah, Locke tells Ethan he wasn't on the Beechcraft. Ethan tells him this is the wrong answer, and makes as if to shoot. Locke implores him to stop. "I know you. I know you. I know who you are. Your name... Your name is Ethan. Your name is Ethan." When Ethan asks his name, Locke says, "My name is John Locke. I know this is gonna be hard to understand, but Ben Linus appointed me as your leader." Way to lead with your foot in your mouth, Locke. After telling him that's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard, Ethan bids goodbye to John Locke. As he takes aim, the buzzing noise starts again, and things get lighter and lighter as Locke braces himself for the bullet. Then, FLASH. The thing he knows, he's still on the ground, arms over face, but it's nighttime and Ethan is gone.
In the dark, Sawyer turns to Daniel (not like that). "So when are we now, Wiz Kid?" He says they're either in the past or in the future. Er...may I suggest that wherever you are will always be the present? No? Okay. I'll keep my unscientific mouth closed as tightly as my mind.
Sun, looking lovely and elegant but concerned, rides a downward escalator as she listens to her cell phone. She's in an airport, because these characters' learning curves have been replaced by flat lines. While checking in for a flight to Los Angeles no less, Sun is detained by security, at the directive and whim of Charles Widmore. When he finally reveals himself to her, she asks why he would have her detained. Widmore says, "You had the audacity to approach me in broad daylight, in front of my business associates, in public. Why did I have you brought here? Because you showed me no respect. I will be respected, Sun." Sun's all -- whatever dude, I'm the only daughter of a ruthless, hard-assed Asian businessman; I'm not afraid of any low-rent Don Corleone wannabe who can't decide if he's a Brit or an Aussie. I'm pretty sure I can muster more respect than you know what to do with -- with both hands tied behind my back, or maybe she just says, "Fair enough." Getting down to business -- Widmore demands to know what their common interests might be. Sun quietly says, "To kill Benjamin Linus." Then they're BFFs. ♥ ♥ ♥
At the hotel, Jack takes a final look in the mirror, because even he can't believe he let that beard thing go on so long, while Ben watches the news -- which is reporting that a shooting suspect -- a one Hugo Reyes -- escaped from a mental healthcare facility earlier that evening. Ben says, "Well, it looks like we have a change of plans," and walks out -- Jack following behind.
At the Rainbow Drive-In restaurant, a waitress delivers an order to Sayid who is, of course, sitting in the driver's side (top), but it's totally for Hurley, who's riding shotgun (bottom). When Sayid refuses even a French fry, Hurley says, "You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people." I happen to know that's factually correct. When they arrive at a motel (or apartment complex -- I can't decide), Hurley says, "So that dude you popped outside Santa Sosa -- who was he?" Sayid doesn't care -- all he knows is the guy was armed and watching Hurley, which made him an enemy. I love ruthless Sayid. He tells Hurley he's not taking any risks since Bentham died. Hurley plays the exposition fairy for those of us who didn't break out the season 4 DVDs before this season started (like we'd planned, and dammit I'm sorry, readers) and asks Sayid, "You mean Locke?" He does, and now we're all on the same page. Hurley wants a cool code name, too. I'm thinking Hurley is your cool code name, Hugo, since its connection to Hugo Reyes is tentative at best. When Hurley asks how Sayid got so paranoid, he says that anyone who spent the last two years doing what he's been doing (i.e. being a hitman) would be paranoid. When Hurley presses him, Sayid admits to having been in Benjamin Linus's employ. Hurley's all, "Wait, he's on our side now?" because it's his turn to stand in for the fans. Sayid's expression grows grimmer still, explaining that if Hurley ever has the misfortune of running into Ben, he should do exactly the opposite of whatever Ben tells him to do. And that will serve as pretty good advice, until Ben figures it out in 2.3 seconds and starts ordering Hurley not to jump off a cliff. I'm just saying.
When they reach their apartment, Sayid notices that the piece of Scotch tape he placed atop the door has been broken. He shoves Hurley away, approaches the apartment with his gun drawn, and the door flies open. Sayid and the guy on the other side of it struggle, but Sayid makes quick work of hurling him off the balcony. He lands with a sickening thud. Hurley can't peel his eyes from the body lying on the pavement until another man exits the doorway and attacks Sayid. They're a bit more evenly matched and wrestle their way back into the apartment. There are shots fired and a lot of fighting in the dark, and yet? I am not an action-recapper. They end up in the kitchen, and the man shoots three tranquilizer darts at Sayid. Two hit. Sayid removes the one from his neck, but not the one from his back, and falls face first into the kitchen sink. The man might be one of the Others. He looks familiar, but I can't place him. As Sayid leans motionless on the counter, the man approaches him from behind. Sayid grabs a heavy pan from the dish strainer and conks the guy right in the head. There's more fighting, and during it someone (Sayid?) kicks open the dishwasher door and the bottom drawer rolls forward. Who loads their sharp knives blade-up like that? Sayid does, I'll tell you what. He knocks his assailant down right on top of them. Bye-bye, Mr. Very Bad Guy.
Out on the balcony, Hurley finds one of the guys' guns, and decides to pick it up, just as witnesses cross the parking lot to check out the guy whom Sayid tossed off the balcony. Of course they see Hurley with the gun. One guy uses his cell phone to take a picture of Hurley, and they run off to call the cops before Hurley can snap out of it and run into the apartment. He finds Sayid, just after he's taken the second dart out of his back. Hurley expresses his disappointment in Sayid's "safe house" but Sayid's just struggling to remain conscious, and orders Hurley to get him to the car. On their way out, Hurley says, "We never should have left that island."
Back on that island: Sawyer, Juliet, et al roam through the jungle at night. Charlotte asks Miles if he thinks Widmore's looking for them. Miles is willing to take his chances, since it took Widmore 20 years to find the island the first time. Then Juliet finds the hatch -- or what remains of it. Daniel tells Sawyer, "Okay so when we are now -- it's now after you and your people crashed on the island." Sawyer says if that means their camp is back, he's returning to the beach, but Daniel tells him that's pointless. Since they don't know when the flash is coming, by the time he gets back to the beach, the camp could be gone again. Sawyer throws what-ifs at Daniel. What he's most thinking about is whether or not the helicopter would have yet taken off. Juliet chimes in that they could warn their friends not to fly to the freighter. Daniel tells them that you can't change anything -- even when you try -- it doesn't work. He compares time not to a record now, but to a street -- you can move forward and in reverse, but you can't make a new street. He says that whatever happened... happened. Well then what's the flipping point of manipulating time? CAN YOU JUST TELL ME? PLEASE? Okay, no. When Sawyer wants to know how Daniel knows so much about this, he drags out his scientific creds, and his journal -- it's why they're here. If they can't stop anything, Sawyer wants to know who can. Daniel looks like he gets an idea, which I can tell, because I hear the music of "Daniel Gets An Idea" playing in the background.
Locke hoists himself up from the ground, and grunts as he hops around on his good leg. It immediately puts me in mind of how he was when he brought Boone out to that plane, lo however many seasons ago, and I realize that's because in a weird way -- it is. Somehow, this Locke timeline affected Locke's leg in the original timeline. And maybe I sprained my brain there, but the people in the forums are thinking the same thing. He hops, hobbles and crawls to the now burnt-out wreckage of the Beechcraft. It's covered in spider webs and other detritus, now. Locke sees another statue of Our Lady of the Poppies lying on the floor and a skeleton (possibly Yemi's), as he rips some sort of strapping from the plane's ceiling, and crafts a makeshift tourniquet for his leg. Someone -- bearing a torch -- approaches the plane from the other side. Locke sits quietly, knife at the ready, but then he hoists it as if to say, "Hey Mr. Killer. I can haz knife. U can takez it?"
Thankfully, it's only Richard coming at him and thankfully, Richard recognizes him. He removes the bullet from Locke's leg, and tends to his wound. When Locke wants to know how Richard knew there was bullet in his leg, Richard claims Locke told him. I rewind the scene, and no he didn't. Meanwhile, Locke rewinds it in his mind and comes to the same conclusion, which he shares with Richard. Richard just says, "Oh well, you will." When Locke says it was Ethan who shot him, Richard tells him what goes around comes around. Locke is neither amused nor comforted. He finally grunts out, "WHEN am I?" Richard's typically cryptic answer is that it's all relative. So's your mother, Richard. Locke wants to know where Richard went after the sky lit up, but Richard only says that he didn't go anywhere -- Locke did. Locke wants explanations like how Richard knew he'd be there, but Richard says they're running out of time and wants to go over a few things with him. He tells him to clean his wound, keep weight off of it whenever possible and that the island will "take care of the rest." Oh yeah, remember when the island healed things -- like Locke's paralysis and Rose's cancer? I'd nearly forgotten. I like that island. Richard says he won't know Locke the time he sees him, so he gives him the compass Locke failed to choose as a child, when Richard came to visit him and pronounced him "special." Locke asks what it is. When Richard says it's a compass, Locke asks what it does. "It points north, John." Ha! Still special. Richard continues: "Look, I wish I had time to be more sensitive about this, because it's a lot to swallow, but you need to know it in order to do what you gotta do, so I'm just gonna say it, okay? The only way to save the island, John, is to get your people back here -- the ones who left." Locke frets about Jack and Kate because the chopper was headed for the boat, but Richard reassures him that they're fine and already home and that Locke has to convince them to come back. When Locke wonders how he's supposed to do that, Richard says, "You're going to have to die, John." Locke looks deeply into Richard's eye-liner and thinks he could whip up some Rick-kabobs, with his knife and that torch. Suddenly, brilliant white light overwhelms Locke and Richard, and we flash...back. It's daylight, and Lock, alone, looks around the jungle and then up. Although the plane is once again atop the trees, Locke's hands are still covered in his own blood, and Richard's compass is in his palm.
Meanwhile, it's nighttime for Sawyer, Juliet, Charlotte, Miles, and Daniel -- and they gaze into the abyss -- that is -- into the crater which contains the remains of the hatch. In answer to Miles' question, Juliet explains that they're looking at what was once a Dharma station, where a man named Desmond lived and pushed a button every 108 minutes in order to save the world. Yep it still sounds crazy, and not just to us, Sawyer and Juliet, but to Charlotte and Miles as well. Daniel doesn't get in the shot, but if he did, I'm pretty sure he'd look constipated. The buzzing sound returns. Everyone grabs their heads and/or shields their eyes -- bracing for the brilliant white light, which soon follows. Once it has passed, our gang finds itself atop the still well-hidden original-recipe hatch. Juliet digs at the greenery until she reveals the hatch door. Everyone takes this in for a moment, then Sawyer takes off for the back door -- to get some supplies. Daniel tries to talk him out of it, but Sawyer resists. "The sky can flash all it wants, but I ain't starting over, Dilbert." Heh. "I ain't rubbin' two sticks together and making a fire, and I ain't hunting damn boar! There's Dharma food, beer and clothing in there, and I'm getting Desmond to let me in -- one way or another." Daniel tries to explain the rules to James. Since Desmond didn't know Sawyer when he first exited the hatch, the two can't meet.
Daniel continues his lecture all the way to the backdoor, but Sawyer could not care less. "That would all be fascinating if I was listening to ya." When Daniel suggests that it might not even be Des who is in there, Sawyer's not deterred, and starts banging on the door, demanding entry. "Yo, open up. It's the Ghost of Christmas Future!" Okay now see, where the banging wouldn't have brought me to the door -- that might have. All the while Sawyer bangs on the door, Daniel lectures him about the rules: if it didn't happen it can't happen; you can't change the past, yada, yada, yada. I don't know about you, but Sawyer doesn't strike me as a Rules Girl, Daniel. Sawyer grabs Daniel by the shirt and growls that everyone he cares about (KATE) just blew up, "On your damned boat. I know what I can't change." Juliet, taking on an air of Galadriel, intones that they should get back to the beach, because it's been a long day. Poor Sawyer's eyes look like those of a wild animal. But maybe he's hoping for a strand of her shiny blonde hair, because he backs off. Miles tries to talk common sense to them -- asking why they'd go back to the beach if there's nothing to go back to, but Juliet simply tells him that he can stay there. Miles turns to Charlotte and Daniel and smiles. "That chick likes me." He follows after Sawyer and Juliet, leaving Daniel and Charlotte alone at Desmond's back door. Charlotte's nose starts bleeding. She shrugs it (and Daniel's concern) off -- saying she hasn't had one since she was a little girl. Daniel covers -- noting that he left his pack back at the hatch crater, and sends Charlotte off after the others. Once she's gone, he runs back to his pack, digs out his journal and looks up something we're not allowed to see...
, Daniel is at the backdoor to the hatch, banging on it like he'd just stopped Sawyer from doing. He's pleading, "Please let this work," over and over again. And hey, I like most of these characters (or enjoy watching them, at least) even Daniel, but after the way he lectured Sawyer, I'm sort of hoping it doesn't work because I'm mean like that. I am not a "the rules apply to everyone but me" sort of person. Finally, Des comes to the door, yellow Haz-Mat (ish) suit on -- rifle cocked and ready. When Daniel begs him not to shoot, Des says, "Then you'd best explain why you've been banging on my door for the last 20 minutes, brutha." Desmond wants to know if Daniel is "him" -- namely the person sent to relieve Desmond from typing in: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42, every 108 minutes -- in order to save the world. And of course Daniel's not, so when Des asks if they know one another, Daniel goes into a whole big, "I need you to listen" spiel, like every other character on this show does when they don't want to answer a straight question. "You're the only person who can help us because, Desmond, the rules... the rules don't apply to you. You're special. You're uniquely and miraculously special." So like a snowflake, then? When Des asks Daniel what he's talking about, the buzzing that comes right before the flash starts to buzz. Daniel says, "Okay, listen to me. Listen! If the helicopter somehow made it off the island, if you got home..." Des wants to know what helicopter and what Daniel's going on about, so Daniel continues. "Listen, I need you to listen, or people are gonna die. My name is Daniel Faraday, and right now, me and everyone else you left behind..." this is so urgent he can't even give a nod to grammar. "We're in serious danger. You're the only person who can help us. I need you to go back to Oxford University. Go back to where we met. I need you to go there and find my mother." The noise intensifies. The sky brightens. "Her name is..." FLASH!
As if from a nightmare, Desmond wakes with a start. Penny, hearing his moans, turns on the light and asks if he's all right. When Des says he was on the island, Penny reminds him that he's been off for three years and that he's safe now -- that it was just a dream. Desmond says, "It wasn't a dream. It was a memory." Donning his sweater (what a shame) he makes his way to their boat's deck, while Penny asks where he's going. Do you ever wonder why she searched so long and hard, far and wide, for this seemingly high-maintenance Scot? Me, neither. As he hauls up the anchor and does other sorts of boat-y things for which I don't know the appropriate terms, Des tells Penny that they're going... to Oxford. DUN!
And? It seems I ended the recaplet in the wrong place, because this is the end of the first hour. Stay tuned for the second hour, which is coming up as soon as I wet my whistle.
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