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Kate's chilling with Locke's crew, wanting to get close to Miles so she can find out just what the supposed rescuers know about her. Is it worth getting off the island if she's going to wind up in jail? Miles refuses to say anything until he gets some quality time alone with Ben. Kate enlists Sawyer's help to get around Locke to Ben, whereupon Miles demands the oddly specific figure of $3.2 million to pretend Ben is dead (for the benefit of Miles's employer). Given Ben and Miles are both currently wards of New Lockeonia, Ben's going to need some time to come up with that money. Having given Miles what he wanted, Kate presses Miles for info. Oh yeah, they know all about you, Kate Katherine Austen, and your eight million criminal charges.
But we already know Kate's getting off the island, and the flash-forwards focus on her trial, which doesn't go so well for Kate at first, which means Jack gets called to the stand as a character witness, and he spins a bunch of lies about how only eight of them survived the plane crash, and Kate hauled everyone from the water, gave them mouth to mouth, healed their wounds, and other such halo-building survivor activities. The people's case falls apart, though, when Kate's mom, who has been given six months to live for the past four years, can't testify for medical reasons. Oh, and she really wants to see her grandson, but Kate refuses.
Oh, yeah, Kate's got a son, supposedly, referenced many times off the island, and foreshadowed on, with Kate spending a whole lot of time with Claire and Aaron. So after Kate agrees to ten years' probation, she hurries home (to her impressive new digs) to see her son. Jack, skulking about in the parking lot as Kate leaves court, tells her he wasn't telling the truth on the stand. Not just about the Oceanic Eight's cover story, but about how he doesn't love her anymore (yes, the D.A. actually asked Jack, "Do you loooooove her?" and then made the shame-shame, know-your-name gesture with her index fingers). But he won't come back to the house to see Kate's son.
Because he looks like a little Sawyer? No. Because he looks like an older Aaron. And that's what Kate is calling him.
In other news, Desmond and Sayid have not been heard from since leaving on the helicopter. No one's picking up the phone on the freighter, so Jack and Juliet make Charlotte call the emergency line. When she gets through, the freighter is all, "Helicopter? What helicopter? We thought you guys had the helicopter!"
Also, Locke's frustration is growing, as is his doubt about leading the Losties. Ben's chipping away at his confidence, and Miles doesn't seem all that interested in spilling any secrets. So Locke alters the breakfast menu for Miles. Instead of eggs, New Lockeonia is serving grenades. Locke pulls the pin on one, sticks it in Miles' mouth, and advises him to bite down. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Oh, eye close-up. How I've missed you. Who do you belong to this time? Whose journey will we be following? John Locke wakes up in his snazzy New Otherton house. Let's see what's in the fridge for breakfast: melon, eggs, and sweet potatoes. He fries up some eggs, chops up some melon, and selects for some morning reading material Valis by Philip K. Dick, a work with which I'm not familiar. But if you check the first word on pages four, eight, fifteen -- oh, forget it. I'm a big fan of al fresco breakfast, but Locke appears to prefer the opposite: he opens the basement door and heads downstairs, the food on a tray.
He opens up a padlocked cell door. Inside is Ben. Locke hands him the tray, and the book. "These are the last two eggs," he says. He also makes sure to not hand over the giant kitchen knife that he left on the tray. Probably should have just left that up in the kitchen.
Ben is less than thrilled by the book: "I've already read it." Locke, instead of apologizing for not making a quick trip to the Mystery Friggin' Island branch of Chapters, says Ben might catch something he missed the first time around. Can you think of anything more boring than obsessively re-examining something you've already read or watched, looking for things you missed the first time? Who's got the time for that? ...Oh, right.
Anyway, Locke says he moved Ben from the rec room because he wanted him under the same roof. Aw. That's kind of sweet! Ben wants to know where Locke's other prisoner, Miles, is, but Locke doesn't want to share. Maybe Locke's grossed out that Ben keeps talking with his mouth full. "Actually, I was hoping you would share, Ben, seeing as you claim to have a spy on his ship," says Locke. Ben says he feels for Locke, who couldn't find the cabin, who can't make contact with Jacob. "You're so desperate to figure out what to do , you're even asking me for help." Ben says it's just like old times, only he's locked in a different room this time. "And you're more lost than you ever were." Or maybe that should be: "And you're more Lost than you ever were."
Locke says he knows what Ben's trying to do, and it won't work. Really? He's figured out Ben likes to get under people's skin? He's sussed that out already? Nice work. Ben is only slightly less sarcastic than I am when he says, "Excellent, John! You're evolving!" Locke then shows just how evolved he is by brusquely taking Ben's breakfast back, then locking him in the cell again. In the hallway, Locke angrily throws the tray against the wall. Way to maintain your poker face, Locke. Inside his cell, Ben smirks slightly.
Locke storms outside, slamming the door. Across the way, Kate watches, and asks Claire what that's all about. "Who knows? It's Locke," says Claire, who might seem a little more concerned about the temper tantrum thrown by the guy she's entrusted to protect her and her son. Then Sawyer strolls up all "Mornin', ladies" and "Coffee smells good," and every sentence he utters oozes "pickup artist just before last call." Claire smiles all "I'll just leave these two alone" and goes to get him some coffee. Don't go, Claire! The television is so much brighter when the walking Neutrogena ad is on screen.
Sawyer sits on the porch and remarks how weird it is to sit on the porch drinking coffee. Then he turns on the pressure with his "I found some clothes in your size" and "I hung them in the closet" and promises to boot Hurley out of the place so he and Kate can play house. "I'm not moving in with you, Sawyer." Sawyer can't fathom why she would bother staying in New Otherton if she's not planning to have sex with Sawyer all the time. I'm paraphrasing, but that's essentially it. He accuses her of having a secret agenda (because Sawyer is so aghast at the very notion of secret agendas, right?). If you're spying for Jack, he starts to say, but Kate says she's not. Of course, if she is spying for Jack, she'd totally say she wasn't, right? "So why don't you tell me..." "Because I don't trust you," she says. That shuts him up, temporarily. "This is about the pregnancy thing," he says. "James, go home," she says. Fine, says Sawyer, getting up and sauntering back over to his place. Kate watches him.
We flash (forward, I think it's safe to assume at this point) to Kate, made up all pretty (although I much prefer freckled, dirty outdoor Kate), looking apprehensive, sitting in a car to some dude. "Is there a back entrance?" she says. There is, says her companion, but you're going in the front, with your head held high. Kate still seems worried, but she says, "Let's do this," and puts on sunglasses.
Outside the car is a phalanx of photographers and reporters, all shouting at Kate. Her companion, her lawyer, leads her through the throng, up the steps, telling everyone Kate won't be making any statements at this time. This doesn't exactly silence them. And it's not all reporters. Celebrity-watchers too, I imagine. And some heavyset bearded guy who yells something unintelligible. Perhaps he's printed out a list of continuity errors in the Lost saga and he wishes to discuss them in great detail with Kate.
Inside, the bailiff announces the case against Katherine Anne Austen, the honourable Judge Arthur Galzethron presiding. I've run various versions of that name through an anagram generator, and I'm not coming up with anything better than Glaze North or Lazer Thong. Actually, "Lazer Thong" is kinda cool.
Anyway, the charges are fraud, arson, assault on a federal officer, assault with a deadly weapon, grand larceny, grand theft auto, and murder in the first degree. The DA (Melissa Dunbrook, played by Susan Gibney, recently seen as Michael Knight's mom in the Knight Rider remake) looks Kate up and down while the charges are being read. Kate pleads not guilty, which sets the gallery murmuring, the way galleries always do on television but not in real life. The DA asks Kate be remanded in custody for the duration of the trial. Kate's attorney does his best to fight that, but his best argument is that she has one of the most recognizable faces in the country. But the judge agrees with the DA that in the dictionary to "flight risk" is a picture of Kate's face. "For God's sake, one of your episodes in the first season was even called 'Born to Run,'" says the judge, and orders the bailiffs to take her into custody. "Sorry," says her attorney, as Kate is handcuffed and led away.
On the beach, Jin is preparing for the Lostaways' obviously imminent rescue by trying to pick out just where in America he and Sun are going to settle down. But she dismisses Albuquerque as "too hot" and New York as having "too many people." "More than Seoul?" he asks, pointedly. Then he switches to English: "I learn English for you...to live in America," he says, making Sun smile. Still, she says, in Korean, "I want to raise my baby at home in Korea." You mean "our baby," says Jin. Sun makes a deer-in-the-headlights face, which she should try not to do whenever that subject is broached.
Fortunately for her, Jack and Juliet stroll onto the beach, Charlotte and the elegantly named Daniel in tow. "Their helicopter already took Desmond and Sayid back to their freighter," says Jack, adding that they can make arrangements for everybody to get off the island. Daniel looks uncomfortable. "Where's Kate?" asks Sun. "She stayed with Locke," says Jack.
Speak of the devil: Kate knocks on Locke's door. He opens it up, wiping his hands. "Is that blood?" she asks. "I just killed a chicken," he says. What a coincidence! Right at this moment, Sawyer's choking a chicken! She says she wants to talk to Miles, and wants to know where he is. Locke asks why, and she tells him it's personal, and he tells her no. Kate wants to know what gives him the right. "You may think this is a democracy, Kate, because of the way Jack ran things, but this is not a democracy," he says. So it's a dictatorship, points out Kate. "If I was a dictator I would just shoot you and go about my day," says Locke. Man, his motivational speeches leave a lot to be desired. He closes the door, telling her dinner's at six if she's hungry. Well, maybe if she's STILL ALIVE, Hair Trigger.
Kate stomps off, then spots Hurley with a tray of food. She asks him if that's for Miles. Of course it is, because why would Hurley of all people have food? He says it is, and Kate says Locke asked her to take it to him. This is fine with Hurley, since Miles creeps him out. "He's still in the rec room, right?" says Kate. Hurley says no, that he took Miles to the boathouse, and then it dawns on him. "You just totally Scooby-Doo'd me, didn't you?" he says. Kate apologizes, and then promises she won't let Miles escape. "Just don't tell Locke it was me," says Hurley. The easy explanation would be that Kate just followed Hurley; tracking a big guy in a bright red T-shirt can't be that hard.
Kate carries the food up to the boathouse, looking around to make sure no one's watching. Inside, Miles is seated. "So the Arab traded you too, huh?" he smirks. She ignores this, and pulls up a chair. "Do you know who I am? Do you know what I did?" she asks. He leans forward. "What did you do?" he asks. She tells him to answer the question, and he says he will, but she's gotta do something for him first. "I'm not letting you go," she says. That's fine with Miles, because he's exactly where he wants to be, according to him. "What I want is one minute of someone's time. You bring him to me, and I will tell you everything I know about you." Who? asks Kate. "Who do you think?" says Miles. Seriously, Kate. Try to keep up.
Flash-forward to Kate, wearing a reddish-orange prison jumpsuit, being led into a meeting with her lawyer. He asks if she's okay, and then gets right to it: the DA's decided to try the case personally, which means they're going to get "the full-court press" (no pun intended), so they have to think about cutting a deal. His best guess is that Kate will get offered fifteen years, and she'll serve seven. "No way," says Kate. He points out that she's facing twenty years on each count (which doesn't sound right) plus a life sentence for the murder charge. "You killed your father, confessed to your mother, and now she's their star witness," says the attorney, who figures the only shot they have at this thing is to make it about character. Not about what Kate did, about who she is. What do you mean, asks Kate, suspicious. "I want him in the courtroom," he says. Kate gives that a big fat no, even though her lawyer says it'll generate a lot of sympathy. "Duncan, listen to me. You are not bringing him in here." She says if he wants to make this about her, fine. "But you are not using my son." "Son"? Hmmm. Well, fair enough. Depending on how old he is, his testimony's not going to be much use anyway.
On the beach, Daniel and Charlotte are browsing through the delicious Dharma foodstuffs, while Jack tries the satellite phone and gets a busy signal. Someone on the freighter's trying to win tickets to REO Speedwagon, I bet. Juliet suggests trying another number, like 911. Jack rudely doesn't even bother to dignify that with a response.
Sun is quite distressed to find out that they haven't heard from Sayid yet, given that he left for the boat yesterday. She wonders if maybe Locke was right. "Locke has no idea what he's doing," snaps Jack. "Then why is Kate with him?" says Sun, probably because she wants to piss Jack off even more than he is already. Even Juliet looks at Jack like, "Ooooh, burn."
Claire and Kate are hanging clothes up to dry outside while Aaron coos in a basket nearby. Kate stares at Locke's front door, and then asks Claire if Locke really has Ben down there. "I saw Rousseau take him in there last night," says Claire. Does Locke ever go out? asks Kate. Claire says Locke's been in there cooking all day, since he's invited them all to dinner.
Just then, Aaron starts to squawk, and as Claire has an armful of sheets, she asks Kate to get him. Kate hesitates. "Just pick him up and rock him a little bit," says Claire. Kate says she's not very good with babies, and she wouldn't want to make him more upset. Claire smiles and passes off the sheets, and collects her baby. Kate watches the two of them. "You're so good with him," she says. "You know, you should try it sometime," says Claire. Note to Kate: I believe Claire means you should try it sometime with your own baby. Given how obvious the show is making this, I don't know if I would even call that a spoiler.
Flash forward to Kate's trial, with Judge Lazer Thong settling into his seat. As everyone takes their seats, Duncan leans over and whispers, "Don't fire me, okay?" and says they got killed in the opening, so he had to do this. Then he stands up and calls Dr. Jack Shephard to the stand. There goes the murmuring gallery again!
Jack strides in, all cock of the walk. I'm half surprised he doesn't wink at the gobsmacked Kate as he struts by. The DA stands up and says she must renew her objection to this witness, and the judge renews his overruling of her objection. The judge informs the jury that they need to be aware that the witness met the defendant only after the crimes she is accused of committing, and is to be considered a character witness only. The jury members chuckle when the defence attorney asks Jack to introduce himself for the benefit of those who don't read newspapers or watch television.
And then, what a fantastic tale Jack spins. Yeah, he knew Kate; they were both passengers on Oceanic Flight 815. Did he know she was a fugitive being transported by a U.S. Marshal? Well, he learned that eventually. From Kate herself. He never spoke to the marshal, because the marshal died in the crash, don't you know! "Miss Austen told me," says Jack. He says he never bothered to ask if Kate was guilty, because he assumed there'd been some kind of mistake. Why? Because Kate's awesome, that's why! Or, as Jack puts it, "Only eight of us survived the crash. We landed in the water. I was hurt, pretty badly. In fact, if it weren't for her, I would never have made it to the shore." Kate squirms in her seat as Jack testifies. "She took care of me. She took care of all of us. She gave us first aid, gave us water, found food. Using dyes made from plants and a rudimentary printing press made of bamboo, she published children's books that she read to us at night to comfort us. She tried to save the other two, but..." Kate stands up and tells him to stop, since this has nothing to do with anything. "This is my trial, and I don't want him to say anything else." Duncan is all, I was finished with him anyway.
So the DA gets up to cross-examine, telling Jack his testimony was very moving. "I just have one question for you. Do you love the defendant?" And Duncan is all "Objection!" and the judge says, "You opened this door. I'm going to allow this!" because by law any courtroom scene on television requires a judge to say "I'm going to allow this" at least once, and Jack looks like he swallowed his tongue. The DA repeats the question. "No. Not anymore," says Jack, displaying about ninety percent of the facial tics police interrogators use to determine when a suspect is lying. Which is probably just fine with the DA, who smirks like she just got Col. Jessep to admit he ordered the Code Red.
Since New Otherton isn't exactly a beehive of activity, I'm not sure why Hurley and Sawyer couldn't have each had their own house. There has to be a better reason other than annoying Odd Couple humour, right? See, Sawyer's trying to read, while Hurley tries to decide between watching Xanadu and something called Satan's Doom. I don't know if that last one is real or not, but if it is, I'm adding it to my ZipList right now. Sawyer bitches at Hurley to turn it down. Hurley, it appears, has chosen Xanadu.
There's a knock at the door. Sawyer opens it up to find Kate. "Can I come in?" she says, and doesn't even wait for an answer before breezing right past Sawyer. Kate says hello to Hurley, who winks at Sawyer. "You got something in your eye, Hugo?" asks Sawyer, and Hurley's eyes dart over to Kate. Before Hurley can start poking his index finger through a ring he makes with his other hand, Sawyer suggests to Kate they go talk in the kitchen, and the two of them make small talk while Sawyer pours Kate a glass of Dharma wine from a big honkin' box. "You're terrible at this, Freckles," says Sawyer. Kate's all, what? "At least be woman enough to tell me you wanna use me for something," he says, and Kate obliges by telling him exactly that. "For what?" says Sawyer. "For Ben. I want you to help me bust him out," she says.
So Sawyer shows up on Locke's doorstep with a backgammon board. "You're on," says Locke. As they set up the pieces, Locke says, "Do you think I know what I'm doing?" Sawyer's all, huh? so Locke asks if he regrets following him out there, and if he's worried about what they should do . "All I know is I'd be a lot more worried if I was sitting on that beach," says Sawyer. Locke asks him what the rest of the group is saying. "Baaaaa," says Sawyer, and in case Locke (or anyone else) doesn't get that, Sawyer says, "That's the nice thing about sheep. They're predictable." Oh, but he's not sure about Kate. What about Kate, asks Locke. "I need your word you ain't gonna do nothing to her," says Sawyer. Confused, Locke agrees, and Sawyer says she came to him a while ago, and asked for his help busting Ben out of Locke's basement. "She talked to that guy, Bruce Lee from the freighter, the guy you got locked up. He told her to bring Ben down there." Kate doesn't know where Miles is, says Locke. You mean, down by the boathouse, asks Sawyer, throwing Locke for a loop. "If Hugo knows, everybody knows," says Sawyer.
An agitated Locke gets up, grabs his gun, and tosses Sawyer a flashlight. "Whatever Miles has to say to Ben, he can say to me."
They run through the jungle to the boathouse, but, no surprise, Miles is already gone. Since Locke knew Kate knew where Miles was, it would have made much more sense to guard Ben, wouldn't it?
Anyway, Kate is, at that very moment, breaking into Locke's house, Miles in tow; his hands are still tied together. They head down to the basement, where Kate uses her gun as a key for the padlock on Ben's cell. She opens the door. Ben looks up. "You got one minute. Go," says Kate. "Zep?" says Miles. "Detective Sing?" says Ben. Miles asks Kate for some privacy, and her response is "Fifty-five seconds!" So Miles asks Ben if he knows who he is and who he works for. The answer is yes on both counts. "Then you know he's put a lot of time and energy into finding you." Ben stares at him, and Miles continues. "So now I found you. And I can tell him exactly where you are. Or I can lie and tell him you were already dead." The catch is that Option B is going to cost Ben $3.2 million. Ben, outraged, wants to know why not $3.3 million or $3.4 million. Well, he's not greedy. Miles doesn't answer. Ben wants to know what makes Miles think Ben even has access to that kind of money. "Do not treat me like I'm one of them!" yells Miles, gesturing towards Kate. "Like I don't know who you are! Or what you can do!" Ben points out that Charlotte has seen him, and Miles says he'll take care of Charlotte, and Ben has two days to come up with the money. Ben notes that his prison cell doesn't exactly have an ATM, so Miles gives him one week, and Kate shoves Miles out of the cell, telling him his time's up, and throws him against the wall. "You got your meeting, now I want my answer," she says. He tells her that they got her name when she called the freighter, adding that they know about her and everyone else on the 815 manifest. "Your name is Katherine Anne Austen. You're wanted for murder, fraud, arson, a whole bunch of other stuff I can't remember. You're a fugitive. Got caught in Australia, and the feds were bringing you back. So yeah, we know." He advises her to stay on the island: "Who knows, maybe you didn't survive the crash." Pissed, Kate starts shoving Miles back up the stairs, only to be greeted by Locke, pointing a gun. He tells her to go back to her house. "John, this has nothing to do with you," she begins, and he yells at her to go back to her house. Kate looks at Sawyer, standing behind Locke. Sawyer pointedly shakes his head, almost imperceptibly. Kate casts a look back at Miles, then stomps to the top of the stairs and past Locke and Sawyer.
Back in her house, Kate's listening to music in the living room. Claire comes in to ask if she's all right, and Kate says she couldn't sleep. She asks if she woke Aaron up. "Aaron was born on this island. He can sleep through anything," says Claire. Just then Locke walks in, without knocking or anything. He tells Claire he'd like a moment alone with Kate. Claire hesitates, but Kate says, "It's okay," so she leaves, satisfied that Locke's not going to murder Kate or anything.
Locke tells Kate he doesn't need to know why she did what she did, but he just wants to know what they told each other. Kate tells him, and starts to apologize, but he cuts her off. "You're not welcome here anymore. I want you gone by morning," he says, and stomps out. A bemused Kate watches him go.
Flash forward to Kate in some sort of courthouse library, during a break in the trial. Duncan, who certainly likes surprises, brings Kate's mother in. She's in a wheelchair, and has an oxygen tube feeding into her nose. "I worked it out so you two can have a few moments of privacy." Kate says she doesn't want it, but Duncan says Kate needs to talk to her, and he'll be outside. May I just ask who exactly he "worked it out" with? Because I'm reasonably sure the DA didn't give approval for an unsupervised meeting between the defendant and the star witness for the prosecution.
Diane says hello, and asks if it's true what Jack said about Kate being a hero. I'm kind of confused by this too -- since the Oceanic Six are apparently celebrities, and there must have been some sort of story told about what happened to them all, wouldn't this already be common knowledge (even given that it's a bunch of lies)? At any rate, Kate doesn't answer, and Diane wants to know why she won't talk to her. Kate snaps that the last time she tried to talk to her, when Diane got sick, she screamed for help and called the police. "I don't want to fight with you, Katherine," says Diane. She slowly says it all changed when she thought Kate was dead. Well, it didn't change so much that you didn't agree to testify against your daughter, did it? "My doctors have given me six months to live for the last four years," she says, and adds that she doesn't want to testify against Kate. "Then don't," says Kate. It does seem rather simple, doesn't it? "I want to see my grandson," says Diane. Kate's aghast that her mom wants to make a deal, although I don't think it's that bad. Let Diane see this mysterious son of yours, cripple the case against you. Even if you can't stand your mom anymore, she's going to die soon, right? "I don't want you anywhere near him," snaps Kate, and then she knocks on the door and announces they're finished. Well, that could have gone better.
Kate walks into Sawyer's bedroom. He sits up, startled, only I assume he hangs out shirtless like this just for these sorts of encounters. She sits down on the bed, and he apologizes for not being able to do anything about Locke. "I wanted him to think that you fooled me too. No sense in him not trusting both of us." Kate says Locke wants her gone by tomorrow. "What, he...banished you?" says an incredulous Sawyer. "Well, I unbanish you," he adds, and pulls off Kate's shoes, and I think he thinks "unbanish" means "undress," saying she can stay right there. "It's my house," he says. We hear a toilet flush. "Me and Montezuma's house," amends Sawyer, who I suppose doesn't have bowel movements of his own. "I'll keep you safe," he says, all stubbly tenderness, and they start making out.
Nighttime at the beach, and Charlotte and Daniel are sitting across from each other, three face-down playing cards on a makeshift table between them. "Time. What do you remember?" Daniel haltingly says queen of diamonds, six of clubs, and, especially struggling on the last one, the "red ten of hearts." Charlotte flips the cards over. Daniel's right on the first two, but the last card is the three of spades. "It's two out of three. It's not bad. It's progress," says Charlotte. I hate to tell Charlie Babbitt here that she and Raymond are never going to crack Vegas with two out of three. Daniel's a lot more skeptical that this qualifies as progress, but their discussion is interrupted by Juliet and Jack.
Jack says he's been calling the boat all day, and he wants to know why he isn't getting an answer. "We're here, how would we know?" points out Charlotte. I'm surprised it's taken Jack this long to ask them. Jack doesn't believe there's just one line on the boat. Charlotte glances at Daniel, then says there is an emergency line. Juliet hands her the phone. "It's an emergency," she says.
Charlotte reluctantly takes the phone. "Put it on speaker," says Jack. Charlotte does. We hear the phone ring a couple of times, and then Regina picks up, wanting to know why Charlotte's calling on this number. Minkowski wasn't answering, says Charlotte, adding that the Lostaways want to talk to their friends. Regina says, "What friends?" Ruh-roh. Charlotte's all, you know, the friends that Frank took over in the helicopter last night. "We thought the helicopter was with you," says Regina. Everyone looks stunned. Jack looks stunned and angry. Stangry. He starts pacing, setting his jaw. I think I might owe Locke a Coke, he's thinking.
In the boathouse, it looks like Locke has taken more drastic measures to ensure Miles's captivity: Miles now has his hands tied together above his head. It doesn't look very comfortable. Locke walks in. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but you're wasting your time," says Miles. Locke ignores this, pulls a grenade out of his bag, and STUFFS IT IN MILES'S MOUTH. He tells Miles to bite down; Miles does so, biting down on the handle, and Locke then PULLS THE PIN. He says he made the mistake the other day of not introducing himself: "My name is John Locke. And I'm responsible for the well-being of this island. Eventually, Miles, you're going to tell me who you are, and you're going to tell me about the people on the boat, and you're going to tell me why you're so interested in Ben. In the meantime, you're going to keep your mouth shut." Muffled protests from Miles. Locke, zipping up his backpack, says he learned yesterday that it's no good having rules if there's no punishment for breaking them. "Enjoy your breakfast," he says, and walks out. I'm sure the grenade will turn out to be a dud, but Miles doesn't know that. Fortunately, we're spared watching the trickle of urine running down his leg (or worse).
Sawyer and Kate are asleep, entwined in bed. Kate nuzzles him, climbs on top and starts kissing him, he flips her over, and then she gets all reluctant on him. "Come on, it's not like we've never done it before," he says. He also adds that he's cool with the fact that they didn't "go all the way" last night, because she was sad. Funnily enough, Kate is immune to the charms of someone displaying the sexual maturity of a fifteen-year-old, and she demurs, and it's only a matter of time before Sawyer says something like, "It's different for guys. We could die if we don't do it." She turns away from him on the bed and says, "Forget it." "You're still worried you might be pregnant," he says, which I suppose is the only possible thing he can fathom that might explain a woman not having sex with him. She turns back to him, and props herself up on her elbows. "I'm not worried. And I'm not pregnant." Sawyer busts out the "woo-hoo!"s, to the extent that Kate asks if it would have been the worst thing in the world. Sawyer's answer is "yes," in so many words. "What would we have done with a baby?" asks Sawyer. Like there would have been any "we" about it where Sawyer's involved. "I'm going back to the beach," says Kate, which only sets Sawyer off more.
"Don't make this about me, Kate," he snaps. Yeah, that's Sawyer's job. He says she didn't want a baby any more than he did; she just wanted an excuse to split, and now she's got one. But he's not worried: "In about a week, you'll find some reason to get pissed at Jack, and you'll bounce right back to me," he says. She slugs him. He's still not wrong. "In about a week"? He's even got the timeline right.
Flash forward to the courtroom, where Kate and Duncan wait while the DA has some sort of urgently whispered conversation with a couple of her ADAs, I suppose. "Are the people ready to proceed?" asks the unimpressed judge. Dunbrook asks to approach the bench, so she and Duncan do so, and she says her witness, Kate's mom, can't testify due to medical reasons. The judge asks how much time she needs, and she doesn't know, and he gives her until...the end of lunch. Wow. No sympathy from Judge Lazer Thong. The lawyers walk back to their tables, with Dunbrook telling Duncan that they need to talk.
In the same room where Kate met with her mom, Dunbrook bitches, "My key witness spoke to her daughter last night, and now she's got cold feet." So you did know about it. First day on the job, Dunbrook? You hoped maybe Kate's mama was going to wring a confession out of Kate? Anyway, she offers four years in prison. Duncan looks at Kate, who shakes her head. "No jail time," he says, because Kate is, after all, a "worldwide hero," whatever that is, who saved five people from a plane crash and who almost starved to death on a deserted island. "And after all that, you put her on trial for rescuing her mother from an abusive husband," he says. Well, "rescuing" is gilding it a little, but Dunbrook knows she's beaten. She offers "time served" as well as ten years' probation: Kate can't leave the state. Duncan starts to argue, but Kate interrupts him to agree: whatever Dunbrook wants her to sign, she'll do it. She just wants it to be over. "I have a child. I'm not going anywhere," she says. Ain't that the truth. Try getting out to go to a movie, let alone cross state lines.
Kate strolls towards a waiting taxi in the courthouse's underground parking garage. The way it was just sitting there made me think the driver was going to turn out to be Ben or something. What does happen is Jack gets out of his vehicle and walks towards her. She seems happy to see him, and he explains that her lawyer gave him a "heads-up" since he owed Jack one. Yeah, for suborning perjury, apparently. Kate thanks him for that, and he shrugs it off.
He says he came to tell her that what he said, he didn't mean. Instead of telling him, "It couldn't have been more written all over your face if you'd been the first to pass out at an off-campus kegger," Kate smiles and asks if he wants to follow her back to her place. Since she's in a cab, the logical choice would be for Jack to drive her, but he's actually not so elated at the invitation. "I actually have to get over to the hospital," he says, but adds that maybe they can get together sometime for coffee. She smiles at him, and says she knows why he doesn't want to see the baby. "But until you do, until you want to? There's no you and me going for coffee." But if at any time he changes his mind, he should come and see them. Jack says okay, and the insincerity of that makes Kate frown.
He holds open the cab door for her, and they say goodbye. She drives off, and Jack watches the cab sadly. I kinda hope he feels ashamed of himself.
Kate arrives at her beautiful sun-dappled California home. Her housekeeper or nanny or both or whatever greets Kate with a hug. "He missed you so much," she says. "Did you keep him away from the TV?" And I'd just like to say that keeping your child away from the television is a good thing, but if you do it too much, and then she wakes up really early on a Sunday morning and you figure, "Maybe she'll be content if she gets a sippy cup of milk and I put The Aristocats DVD we just bought on the bedroom television, she'll just quietly cuddle" and then she is as usual completely uninterested in watching television and just wants to play? Well, you might find yourself rethinking the zero-television-tolerance rule just slightly. (But then you wake up and you play with her and she says your name and giggles, so that's okay too.)
ANYWAY, Kate heads upstairs to the nursery, where a towheaded little youngster is stirring in his transition bed. "Hey, Mommy," he says, as he wakes up and she gathers him in for a hug. "Hey, Aaron," she says. Awww. She named her son after Turniphead!
Oh, wait, that's not it.
Oh, shit.
He holds open the cab door for her, and they say goodbye. She drives off, and Jack watches the cab sadly. I kinda hope he feels ashamed of himself.
Kate arrives at her beautiful sun-dappled California home. Her housekeeper or nanny or both or whatever greets Kate with a hug. "He missed you so much," she says. "Did you keep him away from the TV?" And I'd just like to say that keeping your child away from the television is a good thing, but if you do it too much, and then she wakes up really early on a Sunday morning and you figure, "Maybe she'll be content if she gets a sippy cup of milk and I put The Aristocats DVD we just bought on the bedroom television, she'll just quietly cuddle" and then she is as usual completely uninterested in watching television and just wants to play? Well, you might find yourself rethinking the zero-television-tolerance rule just slightly. (But then you wake up and you play with her and she says your name and giggles, so that's okay too.)
ANYWAY, Kate heads upstairs to the nursery, where a towheaded little youngster is stirring in his transition bed. "Hey, Mommy," he says, as he wakes up and she gathers him in for a hug. "Hey, Aaron," she says. Awww. She named her son after Turniphead!
Oh, wait, that's not it.
Oh, shit.