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So, what exactly is the deal with the Others? Well, the short answer from this bafflingly answer-packed episode is that The Man Behind the Curtain a.k.a. Jacob is a practically invisible grandpa luddite with serious anger management issues who is either desperately in need of Locke's help or a complete figment of twelve-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic nutjob Ben. Turns out that Craphole Island really is the Land of Bad Dads. (Do I see a Disneyland ride in the future?) Ben's craptastic father was so awful that he turned Ben away from the peacenik lovey-dovey ways of the Dharma Initiative and towards the dark side of Otherdom. Ben's chosen path was chockfull of evil doings: he not only killed his Bad Dad (remember Roger? The dead guy with all the beer?), but was actively involved in the Purge of the Dharma Initiative off the Island. The nasty hostiles, lead by a hirsute Richard, gassed those hippies right good! To top off his campaign to be most evil shrimp ever, Ben admits that he lied about being born on the Island and then shoots Locke in the stomach leaving him to die in the mass grave where they left the woebegone Dharma Initiates. Did I mention that he had a Bad Dad who didn't love him enough?
Meanwhile, now that Locke has passed along the incriminating evidence proving Juliet's spy status, Sawyer has brought in Sayid to help him rally the troops against Jack. The Losties are shocked (shocked!) that Juliet is so evil, but just as they are prepping the tar and feathers, Jack and Juliet return to the beach and confirm everything that Sawyer and Sayid have said. They even corroborate the Others' impending assault on the beach and plans to kidnap Sun and anyone else Juliet thinks is pregnant (better start praying, Kate!). Needless to say everyone (including your humble recapper) is bewildered by this level of honesty and communication. And when Jack announces that they all have some catching up to do and implies that they may actually start sharing information? Whoa. It is just too much. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Someone named Emily is giving birth. In the woods. In a turtleneck. I'm not sure which is more uncomfortable. She says something is wrong, but her husband, Roger, puts on a stern face and tells her she can do it. She keeps saying it hurts, but after some inefficient pushing, almost giving up hope, and then finding the strength deep inside to push her child into the world, she gives birth to a baby boy. She keeps saying it hurts, and Roger holds up a bloody hand as proof of impending doom. Roger instructs Emily to hold on to the baby because no one knows they are out there and they have to get back. He scoops up Emily and the baby and runs to the really crowded road that is extremely close by but apparently unsuitable for emergency deliveries and/or seeking help. As Roger flags down a red convertible, a sign looms in the background indicating that Portland is 32 miles away. Which means that Ben and I were born in the same place! I knew we had more in common than our stature and sunny dispositions! Samantha Mathis and some bespectacled dude hop out of the red convertible to rescue the woebegone family. As they prepare to put Emily in the back seat (showing a serious disregard for the wellbeing of the lux leather interior) the guy asks what happened. Roger explains that they came out to go hiking (in turtlenecks!) and she went into labor even though she wasn't due for a whole month! You took your eight months pregnant wife hiking? Sadist. Emily opens her eyes and tells Roger to name the baby Benjamin. And then she died. Just for the record, Baby Benjamin does not appear to be bug-eyed or inherently evil.
Grown-up Ben is playing with a dolly. Mr. Eyeliner, a.k.a. Richard, enters Ben's tent (that is not a euphemism), smirks, and asks what he has there. Ben says it's a birthday present. His birthday is today. And he has decided to be an ass for the occasion! Ben asks Mr. Eyeliner if he remembers birthdays. Instead of shouting, "Shut up, Stinkfinger!" Mr. Eyeliner wisely ignores the remark and asks Ben if he wants him to deliver the tape to Juliet or what? Ben whips off his glasses in order to hear better, but he heard correctly: the tape recorder is missing. Further investigation is warranted, so they rush out of the tent looking for Tom. They find Tom standing outside, staring and slack-jawed as Locke arrives in camp awkwardly lugging his dead father's body. Locke huffs and puffs that Ben told him he would tell him everything he wanted to know about the Island if he killed his father. He drops his father's body on Ben's newly useable foot and announces that he killed his father, so Ben better start dishing.
Ben knows that he promised to tell Locke everything, but it's complicated! Or at least it is not as simple as taking out a dusty old book and letting Locke read it. Locke is unimpressed by the complicatedness that is Ben's Island. Ben is trying to win him over by giving him a glass of water, but he is totally turning up his nose at it. Obviously because it doesn't have a lemon it. Jesus, Ben, what is wrong with you? Ben tells Locke that he is not actually the leader of the Island. The real leader is a man named Jacob and that is to whom Ben answers. Locke says, "Okay then take me to Jacob," but Ben says no. So Locke decides to leave and find someone who will take him to Jacob. Someone like Mr. Eyeliner. Ben is horrified that Locke would even think that Jacob would talk to someone like that floozy Mr. Eyeliner! Mr. Eyeliner can't take him! Mr. Eyeliner doesn't know where he is! Ben's panties (which I imagine as peach-colored satin with a subtle lacy trim) are definitely in a twist over this. Locke stares blankly at him before asking, "So you are the only one he talks to? And no one else knows where he is?" Ben splutters that HE was born on this Island. One of the last. Almost all the Others were brought there by him. So Jacob talks to him. Jacob trusts him. Locke continues to stare blankly at Ben, "And no one else has seen him? How convenient." Ben nods his shrimpy head, and Locke lays into him, saying that he doesn't believe there is a Jacob. He doesn't believe he takes orders from anyone. He isthe man behind the curtain, the Wizard of Oz, and a big fat liar too. Locke is basing this assessment on the fact that Ben's hand is shaking. The camera pans down and sure enough the man's hand is shaking like a Chihuahua in an ice storm.
A young nerd steps onto a dock where a whole bunch of hippies are handing out leis and insisting on saying "Namaste" to everyone. I've had nightmares just like that! Ack, hippies! Just in case you didn't catch this earlier, Ben was totally not born on the Island. As the nerd passes under a giant sign that reads "Namaste! The Dharma Initiative" he and his father are accosted by a longhair in a grey jumpsuit who just stepped out of one of the fleet of VW vans parked dockside. He welcomes them to the Island, and the father informs Little Four Eyes that this is the man who saved them when Emily died. He is now doing them another favor and giving Roger a job. The longhair insists that they call him Horace, and they acquiesce because it's his name and they have no choice. Horace says hello to Ben. Roger apologizes that Ben doesn't say much, but Horace doesn't mind. He's sure that Ben will talk when he has something to say. He puts his arm around him and promises him lunch after they are "processed." Which I assume means being stripped of all caffeine, forced to dress in natural fiber clothing, covered in patchouli, and robbed of all means of shaving. Or else it means watching films. The film informs newcomers that it's recommended that they stay within the confines of the barracks because there is a high frequency sonar fence to protect them from the abundant wildlife on the Island. Roger snorts at this warning, foreshadowing an obviously bad attitude. A man with a clipboard calls Roger over, which begs the question: Can you have peace, love, and clipboards? While his father is otherwise occupied, Young Ben takes in the processing. He is watching someone get shot -- oops! I mean getting a shot -- when a cute little thing approaches him. She asks if he's new, and he nods. She introduces herself as Annie and offers Young Ben some processed sugar. They are allowed to eat all they want! Apparently I've misjudged the hippies. But I have not misjudged Roger: When he is assigned the job of "work man" he cements his negative attitude by pitching a fit. He signed on to the Dharma Initiative so he could change the world, not clean up after it. He definitely has a bad attitude. The woman behind the registration desk informs him that when another job opens up he is welcome to apply for it. Wow! These are some administration-prone hippies! Like the financial aid office at Hampshire College!
Sawyer is, ahem, lurking in the bushes watching the Losties go about there business. There is so much lurking done on this Island they should just give in and make it the official sport of the Island, get Pepsi to sponsor it, and have playoffs. Then we can get a retarded monkey with a typewriter to recap the Lurking-lympics and spare me the agony of having to write the word "lurking" one more time. Until then I will continue: Sawyer is lurking in the bushes until the one trustworthy man on the Island saunters by. That's Sayid, of course. As Sawyer jumps out of the bushes in front of him, Sayid, being the manly man that he is, is scarcely bothered to raise an eyebrow and simply asks what happened to him. Sawyer explains that he was with Locke, but Locke went back to join the Others. Sayid is about to ask where the camp is, because he apparently never tires of hunting them down, getting his ass whooped, and limping back to the beach. Sawyer cuts him off saying he doesn't know where it is and it doesn't matter. There are more important things afoot.
Speaking of a foot, the Others aren't really surprised to see Patch Adams, a.k.a. Mikhail, back on his. Patch comes running through the woods at mach speed shouting for Ben. Ben says he thought Patch was dead, but Patch explains that the security pylons were not set to lethal levels. Patch is startled when Locke comes out of Ben's tent. He demands to know what he is doing there since he tried to kill him and all. Ben explains that Locke is with them now. Patch rolls his eye and tells Ben about his run-in with the Losties and the woman who landed on the Island. He says she was on a "helo" -- which I assume is Soviet Army speak for "magical unicorn" -- that crashed in the ocean. She has a radio telephone, too. Ben asks where she is, and Patch says he assumes the Losties took her back to their camp. Ben explains that they are headed to the beach the day after tomorrow and they will deal with it then, but Patch insists that they go now. Locke won't stand for that, though, and yells that Ben is not going anywhere with Patch, because Ben is taking him to see Jacob. Everyone looks shocked by this. I know, right? Locke is sending such mixed signals! I thought he was totally not into Ben, but now that he's heading off with Patch, he suddenly wants him? Talk about mixed messages! Oh wait -- it was the Jacob thing wasn't it? Ben is so shocked by Locke's outburst that he looks like one of those rubber dolls you squeeze and make their ears and eyes pop out. Patch is shocked that Ben is even listening to Locke, but not nearly as shocked as when Locke storms up and kicks the Russkie out of him! Ben tries to get Tom and Mr. Eyeliner to intervene, but they won't budge. Locke finishes up with Patch and asks Ben when they are leaving.
Locke and Ben are filling canteens in a stream in preparation for their trip. Ben finds it necessary to blurt, "You know you didn't have to beat Mikhail senseless to make your point, John." Locke looks calmly at Ben and replies, "Yes I did." This witty repartee is interrupted by they arrival of Alex, who hands Locke a gun, informing him that if he is going to visit Jacob he will need it. Locke looks surprised but accepts it. Alex then looks right at Ben and says, "Happy Birthday, Dad." Ben contemplates the possibility of bringing Dr. Phil to the Island to deal with his teenage daughter for him, realizes he would have to bring Dr. Phil's annoying wife, too, gives up the thought, and sighs heavily.
Young Ben looks extremely interested in a chemistry lesson that Samantha Mathis is teaching. Either that, or he's pondering just how she manages to make a khaki jumpsuit look so good? That should be the lesson. Especially since her whole baking soda + water = explosion hypothesis is completely...how do I put this? Wrong. Annie, the little cutie, asks, "Is that what happened to the volcano on this Island?" Samantha Mathis replies, "Yes, Annie, but that was a long time ago." Teachers say the darndest things! The lesson is cut short when an alarm goes off. Samantha Mathis grabs a rifle and stations herself at the door while the kids all hunker under their desks. All the kids, that is, except Young Ben who just looks bewildered. Annie grabs him and explains that it's just the hostiles. Later, Young Ben is relaxing on his bed with his bunny (that's not a euphemism) when he hears his father arguing with Horace. Roger and his bad attitude are yelling that he was on a run and the thing he knew there was a giant explosion. Horace explains that they are having some skirmishes with the natives. What natives? They're not really sure. Roger says that if he is going to get shot, he wants hazard pay of another 30 grand and, no, his son's free high-quality education doesn't cut it. As Roger shouts at Horace to get the hell out of his house, Young Ben jumps back into his room just in time to see the ghost of his dead mother in his window. He is so startled he knocks over a Saarinen Tulip Chair (those Dharma people sure have fancy taste!) and alerts his father to his eavesdropping. In a scene straight out of Bad Dad part XXVII, Roger bursts in the room and tells him to go to bed not noticing the lone tear winding down his prepubescent cheek.
Sawyer and Sayid are looking for Juliet when Kate interrupts them to be a bitch. Seriously. There is no other reason. She walks up, crosses her arms, juts out her hip, and informs them that Juliet isn't there. She and Jack left right after Kate told them about Naomi. Sayid looks murderous but calm, and if I were Kate I would be a bit scared. He asks Kate why she would have told Jack about Naomi. She says it's because Naomi is hurt, and Jack is a doctor, and he has a right to know. And Kate sucks. Bad. Sayid asks where Jack is now, and Kate says she doesn't know. Sayid snarks, "Of course you don't, Kate" and brushes past her. Sawyer asks who Naomi is, and Kate yells after Sayid that maybe he should tell everyone about Naomi. Sayid points at Sawyer and yells, "Play her the tape!" as he rushes away presumably to go kick some Jack ass.
Ben is fiddling with his canteen (still not a euphemism!) while he tries to talk Locke out of going to see Jacob. Whether or not Locke thinks Jacob is the Wizard of Oz, he is very real. And he is not a man you go and see. He is a man who summons you. In my world, we call that a booty-call buddy. Ben explains that his hand was shaking because Jacob is going to be very angry. I guess Jacob's just not that into you, Ben! Locke calmly eats a mango and tells Ben that there is a first time for everything. Ben is shaking his head as they don their packs and head off into the woods as all the Others stare after them.
Young Ben sits on a swing set with the cutie patootie girl, Annie. She is so darn cute I just want to eat her up! She hands him a present that he opens to reveal two little dolls. In case you are wondering, Ben is definitelythe type of boy who likes dolls. Annie explains that she made the dolls, and they're supposed to be him and her, so they never have to be away from each other! Kind of sweet, but a little creepy, too. Young Ben has re-wrapped the present by the time he heads back to his house. His no-good drunken father is passed out on the couch with the Dharma beer can still clutched between his fingers. I'm sure you are aware that Roger has spent this entire episode preparing for his moment to secure the victory in the Bad Dad Competition on Craphole Island. Now he must perform: Ben pries the can out of his hand and goes to take off his dad's boots. As he takes the boot off, Roger wakes up and spies the birthday present. He sits his drunken ass up and mumbles, "Sorry I forgot your birthday. It's hard to celebrate the day you killed your mom!" He is really going for the gold this time, folks! Let's watch the rest of the routine: "She was seven months pregnant and we went on a hike. You had to come early. Now she's gone and I am stuck on this Island. With you. Happy birthday, Ben." He finishes the act by passing out cold! He shoots! He scores! An excellent performance, Roger! You mastered the psychological equivalent of knocking your son out an eight-story window! Good work! The judges will have a hard time with this stellar performance in the mix. Young Ben bursts into tears and runs out of the house to the woods. He runs and runs until he comes to the security fence. As he gawks at the awesomeness of sonar perimeter-ness of the barrier, he sees his mom. She's standing right outside the security fence. He runs towards her, but she stops him from frying his brain and says it is not time yet. She turns and walks into the woods while he cries. As she disappears, he runs backs toward the Barracks.
It is night by the time Ben and Locke reach Jacob's house. Ben looks freaked. I think. It's hard to tell since he is always bugging out at the eyes. They cross over a line of what is that... ash? Gravel? Gunpowder? Gravlax? The line mystifies Locke and he stops to smell it. He must be a hoot at parties. Ben tells him to hurry ass up and they scoot onward.
On the beach, the Losties are having a powwow. Claire can't believe that everyone thinks they are dead. Sayid tries to point out that it is not really the point right now. Naomi is there, too, trying to figure out why no one on the Island seems to want to get rescued. Oh, Naomi. So new, so naïve. The Losties change the subject and demand to know why they didn't tell everyone about Naomi straight away. Sayid explains that they were trying to keep it a secret from Jack. Yes, Kate, he said Jack. Kate puts her bitch face on and crosses her arms. Why are they keeping it a secret from Jack? Because he spent ten days with the Others and then brought one of them into their home. Their home! And every time they try and get answers from this person he stops them. Sun interrupts Sayid's lecture to point out that it is Jack they are talking about. And Juliet? Well Sun, for one, believes she is a good person. Sayid and Sawyer exchange a pointed look, and Sawyer asks Sun what she is basing that opinion on. Would it be because Juliet took Sun on a little trip to a medical facility? Sun looks shocked and confused and asks how Sawyer knows that. Sawyer whips out the tape player and presses play. The tape announces to the entire camp that Sun is pregnant, the baby was conceived on Island, that Jin was sterile, and Kate is a whore. At the sound of his name, Jin perks up, but can't quite figure out what they are talking about. I wonder if Sun is ever going to translate that little tidbit for him. As the tape ends, a voice from the back of the crowd demands to know where they got the tape. It is, of course, Jack. He and Juliet are returning from destination unknown and apparently are feeling rather bossy. Sayid asks where they were, but Jack won't answer unless Sayid tells him where he got the tape. Sawyer points out that he is not really in any position to make demands. Juliet interrupts and tells Sawyer to turn the tape over and press play. Sawyer tells her to stay out of it, and Juliet says that they can burn her at the stake, but before they do that, he should turn the tape over. Sawyer glowers at her and then flips the tape and presses play. Ben's voice comes squeaking out of the tape player to announce that the Others are sending three teams to extract Sun the day after tomorrow. Juliet won't have time to run Austen's sample, so if she finds that Kate or anyone else is pregnant, Juliet should mark their tents. Everyone looks appropriately appalled and stares at Juliet in disgust. Juliet steps up and announces, "The night I saw your baby on the ultrasound, I told Jack what they were making me do." Sayid (who has truly mastered the art of quietly simmering dismay and frustration) asks Jack, "Why didn't you tell us?" Jack replies, "Because I hadn't decided what I wanted to do yet." Sayid looks at him coldly and asks, "Yet?" Jack answers, "I think we have some catching up to do." While I am thrilled at the sense of impending information sharing, I really hate Jack right now. In fact, if he doesn't shape up soon I am going to start calling him Scrotum, because he is right in between being a prick and an asshole.
Young Ben thinks he has the code to turn off the security fence. Young psychopath that he is, he of course tests his hypothesis on a bunny. Animal testing leads to serial killing the way marijuana leads to heroin! After the bunny doesn't die, Ben runs through the fence looking for his mom. He runs around in the woods screaming for his mommy, but doesn't find her. He does find a perfectly intact 1970s edition of Mr. Eyeliner, though! Who needs mom when you have a creepy, long-haired, wildly-gesticulating, never-aging Richard? Mr. Eyeliner is apparently a so-called hostile although he balks at the title. He asks Ben if he even knows what hostile means, man. By opening his hands wide and making himself appear messianic, Mr. Eyeliner convinces Young Ben that he is not a hostile, but a friendly! Ben tells Mr. Eyeliner that he is looking for his mother. After some encouragement, he confesses that technically he's looking for his dead mother. Mr. Eyeliner asks whether his mother died on the Island. Ben explains that she didn't die on the Island, that she died when he was a baby, but he sees her here and she spoke to him. Mr. Eyeliner looks intrigued, but tells Ben to go homo, I mean home, because his people are probably looking for him. Ben refuses to go home and yells that he hates it there and he never wants to go back. He tells Mr. Eyeliner that he wants to go with him. Mr. Eyeliner says that if he really wants that, then he has to be patient. It will take time. But if he really wants it, he can do it. Creepfest! When is Ice T going to come and get all SVU on this guy?
Ben and Locke finally arrive at Jacob's derelict cabin. Locke, the Unabomber wannabe that he is, finds it charming and immediately starts sizing it up for drapes. Ben instructs Locke to turn off his flashlight, because Jacob feels the same way about technology as Locke. So Jacob likes to obsessively play computer chess for hours until he wins and then blows up the computer so no one can beat his high score? What does that have to do with a flashlight? Locke turns off the light while Ben lights up a kerosene lantern. As her prepares to open the door, Ben turns to Locke and says, "Once I open this door, there is no turning back. Are you sure this is what you want?" Locke just stares at him in a perfect visual representation of the word "Duh." Ben stares for a second, says, "So be it," and turns to the cabin door. He knocks and announces to Jacob that it is him and he brought John Locke and they are coming in now. Ben opens the cabin door. Ben and Locke walk into the cabin. It is decorated exactly like a shooting gallery, complete with rocking chair, dog portrait, and old time-y mining gear perfect for aiming at and collecting oversized stuffed Spongebob Squarepants dolls with your winnings. Maybe that's why Alex said Locke would need a gun! Win her a teddy bear, Locke! Locke is steadily evaluating the room when he realizes that Ben is talking to an empty rocking chair. Ben is a total nut bar. Locke incredulously demands to know who Ben is talking to. Ben points at the chair and introduces Jacob. Locke can't help but point out that no one is there. Ben sneers, "You can't see him? He's sitting right here in this chair." He is interrupted by the rude voices in his head and responds, "Yes, I know, but he insisted." Locke is dumbfounded. Ben turns on Locke, "You said you wanted the secrets of this Island, well, this is the man who can answer every single... " He stops to respond to the voice that is accusing him of something, "You thought that was my choice?" Locke looks at Ben worriedly, like if he got any dumber he would have to water him. He finally stops staring and sputters, "You're crazy." Which is obviously an understatement. Locke is pretty darn aggravated, "You don't know anything about this Island!" His rant is interrupted by Ben pleading with "Jacob" to let him finish and to stop talking long enough so that he can hear what Locke has to say. Locke snaps, "Stop it! Are you putting on a show for me? Or do you really think there is someone there?" Ben replies, "I know there is someone there." Locke turns away in disgust, "You don't know anything."
Ben calls after him, "I'm sorry you feel that way, John, and I'm sorry that you are too limited to see." Locke just shakes his head, calls Ben pathetic, and heads to the door. As he pulls open the door he hears a voice plead, "Help Me." Locke turns back to Ben and asks him what he said. Ben denies saying anything. But Locke is not having it. He turns his flashlight on Ben, which causes the entire room to go apeshit. Someone is going buckshot wild in the shooting gallery! They're going for the big prize! The rocking chair goes up and down, the windows get smashed, a lantern falls on the ground and starts a fire, jars get cracked, stuff is thrown. Ben grabs the rocking chair and shouts, "That's enough! You've had your fun!" Ben goes flying against the wall of the cabin. At that, Locke makes a break for it and stumbles out of the shack. Ben zombie walks after him. Locke asks what that was. Ben replies, "That was Jacob."
In the morning, Ben and Locke begin their long walk back to camp. How big is this freakin' Island anyway? Sheesh. As they walk, Ben asks, "What did you hear in there, John? What did Jacob say to you last night?" Locke snorts, "Jacob didn't say anything to me. You did. I don't buy the whole show you put on. You're a fraud, and it's time your people knew the truth. And this is not the way we came." Locke looks around the woods proving his tracking skills. Ben admits that he is taking them back a different way because he wanted to show Locke something. In a shocking turn of events, Locke replies, "I've seen enough." Wow, John Locke, I never thought I would live to see the day you had seen enough. Ben looks taken aback and tries to rekindle his interest, "You're not wrong you know. Many of the things I told you were not true. For example, I wasn't actually born on this Island." Locke is almost interested, "So if you weren't born here, where did you come from?" Ben smiles, "That's what I want to show you."
Young Ben is all grown up and following in his father's footsteps. He too is a workman. He even has a khaki jumpsuit. So much for his free high-quality education! He plays with the little girl dolly that is sitting on his table. He puts it in his bag and heads out the door to go work with his dad. His father is older and has apparently avoided all attempts at parental improvement, because as soon as Ben comes up he asks what the heck is wrong now? Apparently Ben is usually Chatty Cathy in the morning. Ben does look morose, but it's because it's his birthday again. He can't believe that he still thinks his dad will remember his birthday one of these years. Roger looks a bit guilty and suggests that after they make their run out to Pearl station, they can drive up to the mesa to drink some beers and have some father/son bonding. Ben says he would love that.
Later that afternoon, they drive the VW bus up a hill and park. Roger pulls out a beer and opines that the Island really is beautiful. Ben, who just can't shake the birthday blues, doesn't bother opening a beer and glumly asks, "Do you really blame me? Do you really think it is my fault that she died?" Oh Ben, you are so needy. Needy of therapy. Roger sighs, chugs his beer, and says, "Eh, what do I know?" Ben keeps glancing at his watch. It's almost four. His dad wonders why he keeps looking at it, does he have a date? Ben doesn't answer, and his dad promises that he will do his best to remember his birthday year. Ben adjusts his glasses and replies that he doesn't think that will happen. He then continues his Eeyore impersonation: "You know, I've missed her too, almost as much as you have. But the difference is that I've had to put up with you and doing that required a tremendous amount of patience. Goodbye Dad." Ben dons a gas mask, pulls a can of nerve gas or something out of his bag, and gasses his dad to death. Maybe that wasn't an Eeyore impersonation after all. Ben is still wearing the gas mask when he hikes back to the Barracks. Everyone at the camp is dead. Apparently they have all been gassed. Ben spies Horace dead on a bench. He walks up to him and shuts his eyes. As he stares around at the many dead bodies, the formerly so-called, now aptly-named, Hostiles fill the camp. They all have masks on and are holding guns. After looking at his watch, Mr. Eyeliner takes off his mask. The Others follow suit. Mr. Eyeliner asks if Ben wants them to go get his dad's body. Ben says no, they can leave him out there. That's cold! There's an old joke that keeps running through my head: How do you know if a hippie was in your house? He's still there! Guess the Hostiles solved that little problem with a whole mess of toxic gas.
The camera switches from Ben's face to the mummified face of a Dharma member. Hard to tell the difference really. That is, until the camera pulls back to reveal a mass grave filled with the bodies of the Dharma Initiative. Locke looks like he walked into a fart while Ben intones, "This is where I come from, John. These are my people. The Dharma Initiative. They came here seeking harmony, but they couldn't even coexist with the Island's original inhabitants. When it became clear that one side had to go-- one side had to be purged-- I did what I had to do. I was one of the people who was smart enough to make sure I didn't end up in that ditch. Which makes me considerably smarter than you, Locke." At that, Locke opens his eyes wide, reaches for his gun, and spins around to aim at Ben, but Ben has been taking lessons from all the Deadwood castoffs that staff this show and manages to shoot Locke square in the gut and knock him into the ditch before Locke can even draw. As Locke lies dying on a pile of beef jerkified Dharma Initiative skeletons, Ben looms over him and demands to know what Jacob told him. Locke holds the gunshot wound and asks Ben, "Why did you do this?" Ben replies, "Because you heard Jacob. Now I need to know what he told you." Locke says, "Help me." Ben aims the gun again and demands to know. Locke holds up his hands in protest, "He said 'help me'!" Ben smirks and says, "Well, I hope Jacob helps you." Then he leaves Locke gorked out and dying in a ditch. Cold-hearted shrimp.