In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close. Jack's decided not to do Ben's tumour surgery, because he doesn't trust the Others? Really? After the beatings and the shootings and the druggings and the abductions? No trust? Ben -- who I hope has said to himself at least once, "You know, when the spinal surgeon crashed on the island I should have just asked him to do the surgery, instead of engaging in this violent, psychological manipulation -- turns the screws. Juliet brings Kate in to see Jack, and Kate asks Jack to do it, because otherwise the Others'll kill Sawyer. Jack doesn't believe them (nor, for that matter, does Sawyer), so Kate breaks out of her cage and into Sawyer's, not so they can escape, but so they can have sex, after Sawyer breaks it to her that they're on a smaller island and that there's no escape. This mystifies me; after all, there was a way onto the island. Ergo...? But no, they decide to get naked. Oh, who really blames them.
Anyway, Jack's cell is conveniently unlocked (by whom, we're not told), enabling him to sneak around and see a post-coital Kate and Sawyer on one of the Others' monitors. Instead of that making him completely indifferent to Sawyer's fate, he tells Ben he will, in fact, do the surgery, because: sweet! A chance to be noble! And also, he has a plan. And those always work out.
Meanwhile, Locke, Sayid, and the Useless Twins bury Eko in the jungle (Locke rather paternalistically deciding that the rest of the Lostaways have had too many funerals lately). Locke sees something on Eko's Bible Thumper (a.k.a. the "Jesus stick") about looking to the north or whatever, and this seems to be important, but it'll be at least thirteen weeks before we get to that particular fireworks factory.
In flashbacks, we find out that Kate was married to that guy from Firefly who looks enough like Jason Bateman as to be kind of unnecessary in Hollywood, and he's a cop, and Kate reenacts her favourite scenes from Catch Me If You Can until she finally drugs her husband and leaves him behind, not wanting him to get caught up in her never-ending run from justice. Her marriage barely lasts longer than Firefly did. Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.
Once Jack begins the surgery, Danny decides to get his revenge for Colleen, by shooting Sawyer. Fortunately, Jack makes an unnecessary incision in Ben that'll make him bleed to death, but Jack will fix it when he knows Kate and Sawyer (or was it just Kate?) are safe. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
In television's traditional guess-the-character style of opening, we follow a brunette from an elevator into a hotel hallway. The logical answer is that it's Kate. Which made me think it wasn't Kate. But then as she opens the door to room 752, she looks back over her shoulder. It's Kate, all right, but with a frillier haircut than we're used to seeing.
Inside the hotel room, Kate opens up the box she carried in with her. It's a wedding veil. Presumably acquired from a safe-deposit box in a daring daylight bank robbery.
There's a knock on the door, and someone calling himself the police explains that they have reason to believe there's someone dangerous in the hotel and they're doing a room-to-room search. Kate acts all shifty, saying she's fine, emphasizing she's alone, and the cop says someone could be holding her at gunpoint, forcing her to say that, so she has to let him in. "I don't think I should," says Kate, almost smiling, and the cop says she has two seconds before he breaks the door down, and just as you're thinking, "Holy shit! Calm down, Officer Sledge Hammer!" it occurs to you that she probably knows this alleged cop.
Sure enough, she opens the door, and standing there is Nathan Fillion, who IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM LOOKS LIKE JASON BATEMAN SO FIREFLY FANS CAN STOP SENDING ME EMAILS NOW GOD. And he's wearing a cop uniform. "Hey. Wanna get it on?" he says, so I guess the fantasy role-playing is over and the rutting can begin. Kate smiles and jumps on him, and fortunately the two of them go back into the hotel room instead of just doing it right there in the corridor, but it looked close there for a moment.
A sleeping Kate wakes up in her cage on Craphole Island's Alcatraz, and her smile fades when she realizes she is not in fact doing the guy from Firefly but sleeping in a bear cage across from a guy who woke her up by half-heartedly throwing rocks at the food-pellet machine, forcing it make clanking noises and say, "Warning!" She says she thought he needed to pull the lever. Clearly, he's intentionally not doing it right, and he snaps at her to that effect. She asks him to get her a fish biscuit, and he snarls at her for that too, like what a joy it must be to be locked up with Sawyer. "What, you trying to keep me feeling productive?" says Sawyer, who as we all know likes nothing more than working his ass off for other people. Kate just looks half-pissed, half-concerned.
Juliet and Ben enter Jack's cell (or at least, enter the room on the other side of the wall). Jack's studying X-rays and blood tests. He asks how old the X-rays are. "A week," she says. "The tumor on your spine is borderline inoperable," Jack tells Ben, adding that the window of opportunity closes in about a week. "Oh," says Ben, doing his best not to look as shocked as he clearly feels. Jack asks if the operating room he was in is fully equipped. Juliet says it is. Really? We know it's got no defibrillator, sweetie. Jack mentions anesthesia and wants to make sure the room is sterile, and Juliet says yes. "You need to be in surgery yesterday," says Jack, kind of like how Michael's raft needed to set sail yesterday. Juliet and Ben look at each other, thinking that Jack is agreeing to do the surgery. "Whatever you need, it's yours. I'm ready," says an elated Ben, and Jack just chuckles and says Ben misunderstood him: "I didn't say I was going to do it. I just wanted you to know how you're going to die." Go, Jack! "You think I believe you people? You think I trust you? You think I'm just going to do the surgery and HOPE you let me go?" Juliet tries to calm a growingly irate Jack, who throws the charts and tests at the glass and points really hard at her and says, "Don't!"
Ben says he's disappointed in Jack's decision. Jack walks right up to the glass. "Well, Ben, at least you won't have to be disappointed for very long," he says. Hee! Hee hee hee! You like apples, Ben?
Flashback to Kate and Cap'n Firefly or whatever his name is lying in post-coital bliss. Kate traces circles on his chest and says he shouldn't have come here. He deadpans that he's full of regret, but she's saying that it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. He corrects that it's bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding... and Kate is naked. Said dress is hanging on the bathroom door, and he asks if she's tried it on yet. She says she had to hold her breath to get the "claspy things" (er, that would be the "clasps") to clasp, so she's waiting until the very last minute, which Cap'n Firefly says is in about twelve hours. Kate goes kind of quiet at this, so Cap'n Firefly says, "Hey, I know it's been fast. But this is right. I know it's real. And I love you, Monica." "Monica"? Lucky bastard. I get my wife's name wrong, I'm on the couch. At a buddy's place. But Kate just says, "I love you too, Cap'n Firefly," so I guess Kate's keeping some secrets, huh? Then they start making out, and presumably Kate's about to start burning more calories to help her get the claspy things to clasp.
Bear-caged Kate snaps from her reverie to see Danny and another Other making their way to her cage, saying it's time for work. "What about him?" she says, indicating Sawyer, but Danny agreeably says Sawyer's got the day off. Kate starts whining about this, saying she's not going to work without Sawyer; Sawyer is unsurprisingly not too upset at not having to go to work, and he tells Kate to go ahead without him. I give Sawyer enough to credit to presume he knows what's on Danny's mind, just like Kate does, but he's pretending not to. Kate urgently reminds Sawyer that they're a team, with Kate breaking the rocks and Sawyer carrying them, and for some reason I can't understand, Danny listens to Kate and goes and opens Sawyer's cage. "Lord knows I wouldn't want to break up the team," he snarls.
Elsewhere, the Lostaways' new A-Team (Locke, Sayid, Desmond, Nikki and Paulo) are still standing around looking at Eko's body. Locke, crouching, picks up Eko's cross and examines it. "What happened to him?" asks Nikki, and Locke, Mr. Glasnost himself, says it must have been an animal, maybe one of the bears. Judging from his reaction, Sayid knows Locke's lying but doesn't say anything. Nikki wants to know if they're going to carry him back to the beach, and Locke says they're going to bury him right where he lies: "The people at the beach... there've been a few too many funerals lately. No one needs to see him like this." He gets up and says he's going back to the beach for a couple of shovels. Sayid says he'll come with, and Locke tries to decline, but Sayid, speaking through practically clenched teeth, tells Locke that it's not safe to go alone. That's certainly true -- although it hasn't really influenced the Lostaways into using the buddy system or anything -- but Locke recognizes that Sayid's got more on his mind, and he wisely gives in, thanking Sayid for his "concern."
As they hike through the jungle, Sayid asks Locke what he really thinks killed Eko. "Folks at the beach call it 'the monster,'" says Locke, like this is a myth handed down from generation to generation of island denizens. Locke says he doesn't have a name for it himself; he also figures Sayid doesn't believe in monsters. "I believe in what I can see," says Sayid. I guess that means Islam is completely based on empirical evidence?
Anyway, Sayid figures Locke's seen it, so he asks Locke what he thinks it is. "Might be what brought us here," says Locke. "So you believe this monster decided Eko had to die?" asks Sayid, and Locke says he thinks Eko died for a reason. As do I: he was picked up by a black smoke monster thing and slammed around. Locke says he just hasn't figured out what the reason is yet. Sayid's all, so is that why you lied, because we're not going back to camp, are we? Locke says they are, but he just has to make a detour first.
So back at the Tailies' hard-labour fantasy camp, Sawyer must be thrilled that Kate wouldn't let him have a damn day off. He looks exhausted. Suddenly, the loudspeakers start blaring "compound breach!" and Danny gets all yelly on the walkie-talkie, wanting to know where "she" is. He also orders his men to put Sawyer and Kate on the ground. "If he moves, shoot him," he snaps, and confirms into the walkie-talkie that "they're here." I'm presuming he means Kate and Sawyer. He asks if "the doctor got out again," which piques Kate's interest, and he also says, "How the hell did she get over here?" Suddenly, as if in answer, one of the men guarding Kate and Sawyer gets knocked down with a rock to the back. The other one turns just in time to see Alex go all Dennis the Menace on his ass with a slingshot, and he gets a rock to the forehead. She yells for Sawyer and Kate to run, but they're a little confused. Or maybe they also realize that in the contest of many men with rifles versus teenage girl with a slingshot, the odds aren't heavy in her favor. Danny gets the drop on Alex (who likewise has her slingshot trained on him), and is all incredulous: "What the hell are you doing?" She yells that she wants to know what Danny did with "him," and that she wants to talk to Ben. Danny says, in soothing tones suitable for talking people down from ledges, that that's a great idea, but they should lower their weapons. "Where is he? Tell me!" she screams, but by now one of the other Tailies has grabbed her from behind. "Get her out of here," orders Danny, and as Alex is carried away, she yells at Kate: "Whatever they say, don't believe them! They're going to kill your boyfriend! Just like they killed mine!" Kate is too stunned even to yell, "We're just friends!" She looks over at Sawyer, who has a look on his face like, "boyfriend, huh?" He's like Michael Scott over Jan Levinson, man.
After commercials, Kate's back to breaking up rocks. She sadly watches Sawyer for a moment, then notices Juliet talking to Danny. Danny seems pissed about something, but that's pretty much his baseline, isn't it? After a moment, Juliet strolls over and offers a hood to Kate, politely asking Kate to put it on and come with her. Kate snaps, "You think I'm going to put a hood over my head 'cause you said 'please'?" Kate sounds like she's jockeyin' for a shockin'. "No, Kate, I think you're going to put a hood over your head because the man standing behind me, the one burning a hole in my back, that man is going to kill Sawyer." Sure enough, Danny's standing there glaring. Juliet says if Kate comes with her, there's something she can do that'll help save Sawyer's life. Kate looks over at Sawyer while the strings of Should I Try To Help Sawyer's Life kick in. Eventually, she agrees. Like she ever really had a choice.
Looks like that porker Kate managed to lose enough weight to fit into her wedding dress. I'm sure it was a close one. She's checking herself out in the mirror when there's a knock on the door and an older woman walks in to gush over her and tell her she looks beautiful. My wife says the same thing, and I spend a moment wondering if that means now Evangeline Lilly is officially one of those women that I'm allowed to think is attractive, and it is. (Never getting on the list: Mariah Carey.) Kate asks how things are going out there, and the woman says there are many excited policemen out there. So either Cap'n Firefly is an actual cop, or Season 6 of NYPD Blue is now out on DVD. The woman says she's made sure they won't all shoot their guns off when Kate says "I do." That's good news, because if Cap'n Firefly knows Ana-Lucia, his mother may have just saved a few lives. Kate says that "mothers-in-laws" [sic] aren't supposed to be this nice, like thanks for the backhanded compliment. Anyway, Mama Firefly has something for "Monica": some kind of a pendant on a chain. Kate says "Suzanne" shouldn't have, and Mama Firefly says it was given to her on her own wedding day by her mother, who said one day Mama Firefly would give it to her own daughter. But turns out Cap'n Firefly is one of four brothers. How does Kate keep any kind of secrets when she gets all fidgety and weird whenever someone calls her "Monica"? Kate gets all weepy as she puts in on and looks in the mirror and calls it perfect.
At the ceremony, Father Anvil-Dropper is going on about how he's known Cap'n Firefly since he was just a wee Cadet Firefly, and adds that when he met "Monica," he was struck by her "honesty" (BANG!) and devotion to Cap'n Firefly. "When I asked him what he loved most about you, he said, '''cause [sic] what you see is what you get (BANG!). Like for example, she tells you her name is Monica, and you totally know that's true.'" Then the priest is all casual with his "you've got the rings, you've vowed your vows," and I was kind of annoyed with his flippancy, but then I suppose the bar for adequate padre behaviour on this show is kind of low, isn't it? Since he's not killing people with machetes right on the altar, he's doing a pretty good job. He pronounces them husband and wife, helpfully pointing to each of them in turn so we know who's who, and then they kiss, which means either that this isn't a Catholic church, or the priest ain't doin' it right. Everybody claps, and blows kisses and murmurs things like, "she's so honest!" and "she's totally not a fugitive from justice!" Kate and Cap'n Firefly make their way down the aisle, Kate beaming.
Cut to Juliet and Kate making a much different walk, down a dank corridor to where Jack sits in his cell. Kate's got a hood over her head, but I'm fairly confident she's not beaming. At least not until Juliet takes the hood off. Standing on opposite sides of the glass, Jack and Kate sort of stand there and stare at each other (it's the first time they've looked at each other since the hood-loving Others took them prisoner) and kind of smile, and then walk up to the glass. Juliet says she'll give them some privacy, which is hilarious given the security camera overhead and the bank of television monitors down the hall, but thanks, Juliet. Jack asks if she's okay, and Kate says after him, and he says he's hungry, and she smiles at him. He asks where they're holding her, and she says she's outside, in a cage. He asks after Sawyer, and she tells him about Sawyer too. "They're making us work," she says, and she's starting to break down a little as she says they're hauling rocks, and she doesn't know what it's for, but it seems big. Jack asks if they hurt her. Kate doesn't answer, but starts to cry. Jack tells her that it's going to be okay, but apparently that's not why she's crying. "You have to do it," she says, "the thing that they told you to do, this operation." Jack looks over at the security camera, with its smug little red light. Kate tries to burble out what the deal is, but Jack gets a little loud with her: "What did they do to you?" he says, and she says nothing. "How did they get you to ask me? What did they offer you?" he yells, and that makes Kate cry harder. "THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yells at her, and she finally says that they're going to kill Sawyer if he doesn't do it. Then she starts apologizing for God only knows what reason, and says Juliet said if Jack did the operation they'd let Sawyer go. This ain't exactly what we saw, but this scene isn't making a whole lot of sense to me anyway. Why didn't Ben or Danny just threaten Sawyer (and for that matter, Kate) directly to Jack to make him do the surgery? How is Kate supposed to convince Jack if all she can do is repeat the threat that they apparently didn't think would work on Jack anyway? Is it supposed to be that the request is coming from Kate? Whatever, it doesn't work. "And you believed her," snarls Jack. "I have to," says Kate, practically whispering. Jack lowers his head. "Jack? Please," says Kate. "We're done here," says Jack, and then he yells it again at the security camera, while Kate cries and sobs. In the monitoring room, Ben says, "Get her out of there." Yeah, that could've gone better, huh?
Hey, ABC, regarding your "shat-tastic" promos: you do know that "shat" is the past tense of "shit," right? Yeah, that's fucked-errific work right there.
Kate's in full on suburban hausfrau mode as she rolls her shopping cart down the frozen food aisle. Her cell phone rings. She smiles as she checks the call display and answers. "Hey, you," she says. It's Cap'n Firefly, on duty, in his car. It's pouring rain, at night. He asks "gorgeous" what's for supper tonight. "It's taco night," she says. "You're making tacos?" he says, all incredulous, because tacos are such a difficult gourmet item to make. She giggles and says he better like 'em, too. "Or you don't get any dessert," she says, which led to this:
Daniel: I know what's for dessert: another taco!
Mrs. Daniel: [Glares at Daniel]
Daniel: I said, I bet dessert is another taco!
Mrs. Daniel: I can't believe I'm married to you.
Daniel: You mean that in a good way, right?
Mrs. Daniel: [silence]
Daniel: I said, you mean that in a good way, right?
Anyway, Kate says she'll be home in a little while. But not before she goes running across the parking lot to a phone booth (which says "Palmetto" on it). She puts coins in the slot and dials a number, then pulls a kitchen timer from her purse, sets it, and puts it on top of the phone box.
And hey, it's her old buddy Agent Morris answering the phone! If she didn't invite him to the wedding, this could get kind of awkward. "It's me," she says. Morris whistles for a colleague and gestures with his phone, so his buddy begins tracing the call, presumably. Morris says something about the Feast of the Ascension and how there've been a lot of holy days gone by since they talked, and blah blah blah, and all I could think of was how much better this scene was when Leonardo DiCaprio called Tom Hanks. Kate says she doesnât want to run anymore. "What his name?" asks Morris. Kate doesn't say anything. "Does he know who you are?" is his question. She doesn't answer that either. "Edward, please. I know you don't want to spend the rest of your life chasing me. I love this guy. Please let me go." Hey, Kate: you think he's going to let you go just because you said "please"? Morris, clearly trying to keep her on the line as long as possible, slowly says that if she's really going to stay put and settle down, he'll stop chasing her. Kate's silent for a long time as she thinks about it. "But you and I both know that's not going to happen," he adds. And then the timer goes off and she quickly hangs up.
Back on Alcatraz, Juliet opens Kate's cage door. She notices Sawyer's not in his cage, and she asks about it. "You really care about him, don't you," says Juliet, who probably won't get an answer to that question unless she starts pounding on Sawyer. "I'm sorry you weren't able to help us, Kate," says Juliet, and Kate's eyes widen as she thinks the worst, but just then Danny marches Sawyer out of the bushes and over to his cage past a relieved Kate. Much to Juliet's chagrin, Danny knocks Sawyer on the back of his head, sending him sprawling onto the ground, and closes and locks the cage door. "Right, sorry, Jules," he says, not meaning it. Then he turns back to Sawyer. "You got anything you want to say to your girl, you best say it tonight." Sawyer just looks at him. Danny and Jack should attend some anger-management classes together. Sawyer gets to his feet, as the Others leave, and says to Kate, "And how was your day, honey?"
Apparently God loved what Eko did in the church so much that he sent CGI rays of sunshine streaming through the trees for Eko's funeral, while Locke explains that he went to get Eko's Jesus stick, as he didn't think it would be right to bury Eko with out it. Yeah, that was worth being secretive about. He says a little bit about how he thinks Eko died for a reason: "I just hope it's no more than thirteen weeks before we find out what the heck it might be." Then he crouches down and starts hammering the Eko stick into the ground as a grave marker. "Rest in peace, Mistereko," he says, "Thank you for helping me find my... " he stops, because one of the sunbeams is shining directly on something etched into the end of the Jesus stick: "Lift up your eyes and look north. John 3:05."
Back at the bear cages, Kate tells Sawyer that the Others took her in to see Jack, and explains that they want him to perform surgery on Ben (which she has to further explain is Henry), and if he does it, the Others'll let them all go. Sawyer chuckles. "At least the doc ain't dumb enough to do it," he says, but Kate says she told Jack he had to do it, which angers Sawyer, who asks her why she'd do something so stupid. Sweet talker. "To save your life!" yells Kate, and Sawyer says, "My life ain't worth saving!" Then she yells some more, asking if Sawyer wants to die, because Pickett's just waiting for his chance. His "chance"? Sawyer's a prisoner in a bear cage. It's not exactly cat and mouse.
Kate starts climbing out of her cage, despite Sawyer's protests, presumably so she can get right up into his face when she yells at him. She says that if she doesn't want Jack to save his life, then he can save his own. She takes a rock and smacks the lock, which breaks after just a couple of hits, and maybe the Others should bring in some nice Stanley padlocks time they get a book shipment in, and they yell at each other some more about how the other one should run. Sawyer says, "I ain't runnin' ... because there ain't no place to go." Kate's confused. "We ain't on our island. We're on another island, like Alcatraz, a couple of miles offshore." So unless Kate is a mermaid or has a boat, there's no point. You know, Kate might not have a boat ON HER, Sawyer, but since you were BROUGHT here, obviously there's some sort of transportation, which you MIGHT FIND IF YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. But no. Kate wants to know when Sawyer was going to tell her this, and Sawyer says, "Never," and she wants to know why. "'Cause I wanted you to believe we had a damn chance," he says. And instead of telling him that he is an idiot, Kate kisses him. And instead of saying, "Hey, let's go find a boat," Sawyer says, "What was that for?" and instead of running with Sawyer to the coast, Kate says, "I don't know," and instead of finding a boat and getting rescued, Sawyer kisses her back. And instead of taking each others' clothes off and having sex somewhere in the real world, free of Others and monsters and tropical diarrhea, they take each others' clothes off and start having sex in a dirty ol' bear cage.
Kate's really getting into the whole domesticity thing: she serves Cap'n Firefly up some French toast with an icing-sugar happy face on it. "Very nice," he says, and then one-ups her by telling her to look under her placemat, where she finds two Oceanic plane tickets. "You know that honeymoon I've been promising you for six months? You are holding in your hand two tickets to Costa Rica. So get your passport ready, baby, which should not be a problem because you are totally not a fugitive," he says. She smiles and tries to seem happy, but his keen cop observational skills tell him something's wrong. She just says that she just loves him so much. He seems to accept that, and pulls her into a hug, and she looks sad over his shoulder.
From the door of their house, Kate watches Cap'n Firefly get into his patrol car and drive off to work. She pulls a face, and walks inside.
Back in the bear cage, après sex, Sawyer wants to know -- again -- if Kate said she loves him to get Pickett to stop beating on him. Lord. She doesn't say anything, just kisses him and then snuggles back into his chest, which I'm sure he's going to interpret as a "yes." Sure enough, he says, "I love you too," although there's maybe just a hint of irony in his tone, and wraps his arms around her. I keep expecting him to look for one of the security cameras and give it a big thumbs-up and a wink.
Jack's sleeping in his cell, but he's woken up by static or scratching on that allegedly broken intercom. He sits up, blinking, and then stomps over the intercom and pushes the button. "Who is this?" More static, and then a woman's voice says, "Try the door." Whatever you say, broken intercom! Jack tries the handle, and the door's unlocked, and he walks into the hallway. He creeps down the corridor, and finds the room with the half-dozen black and white television monitors, but there's no one inside. No booze either, so he goes looking elsewhere, while everybody else strains their eyeballs looking for some grainy black-and-white hot bear-cage sex.
He finds some sort of arms closet, with rifles, handguns, and ammunition. He pulls down a handgun from the wall, checks to make sure it's loaded, and goes back out into the hallway.
And then he glances back into the television room, and he sees it, on one of the monitors. He steps closer, the better to see a little Sawyer/Kate afterglow. He sees Kate nuzzle Sawyer's neck, and he drops his head, hit hard. It's kind of funny to me that this seems to be the worst thing that's happened to Jack on this island, like, "Must escape from Others' prison, and... wait, no way! Kate and Sawyer?? Oh, fuck!"
Behind him, Ben speaks: "If it helps, I was surprised too." Jack spins, and stomps toward him, cocking the gun and pointing it right at Ben's chest. Ben doesn't even flinch. 'Course, he's dead soon enough anyway. "If I were a betting man, I would have picked her and you," he continues. Jack tells him to shut up. Ben glances at the screen. "Well, I suppose this would be the proverbial nail in my coffin," he says. Jack stands there chewing the insides of his cheeks for about five hours before he says, "Tomorrow," and lowers the gun. Ben's all, whuzzah? And Jack says, "Tomorrow, first thing," and he needs instruments, anesthesia, and "someone who can hold a damn clamp." Does that mean he's ragging on Juliet's surgical technique? Ben says of course. Jack says he'll get the tumor out, and keep Ben alive. "But I need your word. I need what you promised me before. I need to get the hell off this island." The music swells as Ben and Henry stare at each other. Deal or no deal, Ben? "Done," says Ben. What else was he going to say? "'No dice, Jack. I'll take my chances with the tumor'?"
Kate and Sawyer sleep in the bear cage. Kate's apparently dreaming of the time she took a pregnancy test in her bathroom, and then this weird music started up and a news crawl flashed that the Democrats now had control of the senate as well as the house, and she just breaks down crying, and I never would have pegged Kate as a Republican, but there you go. And in all the confusion, I barely made out that the pregnancy test said she is not pregnant.
Cap'n Firefly's tapping away on a laptop at a desk, and then we get this extra-special drink-cam shot of Kate holding two glasses of some non-tampered-with-I'm-sure liquid, and I'm further certain because of the shot we get of Kate standing there looking all forlorn with her hair all blown out over her shoulders, and she kind of looks like maybe she's suspicious of her rancher husband always being so eager to go camping with his old ranching buddy, and he never did get that note she left him in his tackle box!
After a few hours, she strolls over, and he says, "I'm just finishing some IRs and that fugitive recovery out of Tampa, which don't worry, is not about you, because you're definitely not a fugitive. Being a cop is just endless paperwork. Thank you, sweetie, for this non-drugged drink." And he takes a sip. And she says, "What if I told you I was a fugitive?" And this is not me making up the dialogue in this case. He just stares at her, open-mouthed. And she continues: "What if I told you I was on the run for blowing up my father and it was only a matter of time before you found out?" He says that's not funny, and she tells him it's not a joke. She's starting to cry. "I almost had a baby, Cap'n. Me -- a baby!" He looks kind of confused at what to him seems like kind of a non-sequitur, or at best part of the "I'm on the lam" story. She says she can't do this. "Taco night? I don't do taco night!" Fuck you, Kate. Tacos are awesome. "Calm down, Monica," says Cap'n Firefly, and she tells him her name isn't Monica. "I love you, but I can't stay," she says. She starts to leave, and he tries to stop her, but as he gets up from his desk, he stumbles. "Something's wrong with me," he says, looking woozy. She says she drugged him, and says otherwise people would think he knew. "People are going to be asking a lot of questions, and I didn't want you to lose your job." He responds by collapsing. She catches him, and, sobbing, lowers him to the floor. From her pocket, she pulls out the pendant her mother-in-law gave to her, and she puts it in his hand.
Back in the Mobile Others Surgical Hospital, Jack and Juliet silently scrub up. Finally, Jack tells Juliet that this is a very tricky procedure, and when he tells her to do something, she's going to have to do it, no questions asked. "Is that understood?" he says. "You may find this hard to believe, but I've always been very good at following orders," she says, even though I thought maybe she'd complain about his condescension. "Is that a yes?" he snaps. She nods and says yes, and they head into the operating room, where Ben awaits, lying face down on the operating table. Jack gets on his surgical gloves while Ben asks, "You get nervous before you do surgery?" Jack says he used to, but he doesn't anymore. Through the window, we can see Pickett, Zeke and that other Other who's always around now, observing. "Whatever happens, everything will be very different, won't it?" says Ben. "No doubt about it," says Jack, the same way you'd say to an office co-worker who keeps yammering away at you while you're trying to get some damn work done.
Ben then asks Juliet if Alex asked about him. Juliet says no: "We took her home last night. I don't know where she is now." And then thank god the anesthesia seems to start kicking in, because Ben half-sleepily says, "Well, see you on the other side," and puts his head down. Jack tells him to count down from twenty. Ben goes "twenty" and "nineteen" and then "eight" which is totally cheating, and then he's out. Jack and Juliet look at each other. Jack asks for the scalpel, and she gives it to him, and he makes the first incision in Ben's iodine-swabbed back.
Up in the observation room, Danny starts to head out, despite Zeke pointing out that Ben's in surgery. "Ben just put his life in the hands of one of them," snaps Danny, who heads out to the bear cages. Naturally, it's raining. Lost is only happy when it rains.
Kate sees him coming, with another Other, and frantically tries to wake up Sawyer. "Well, well, look who got out of her cage," says Danny, and I guess the guard duty roster needs to be updated if no one's done anything about this. Pickett says they should have run when they had the chance. "Come with me, James," says Danny, and Kate throws herself between the two of them, saying he doesn't have to do this. "He's coming with me and there's nothing you can do about it!" yells Danny.
In the operating room, Jack works away on Ben, now with a big hole in his back, while Juliet assists. Everything seems to be going swimmingly. Then, with Juliet's back turned, Jack picks up the scalpel, hesitates a moment, and then quickly makes an incision. Ben's heart-rate monitor immediately starts beeping twice as quickly. Juliet turns around, asks what happened. "His blood pressure's dropping," says one of the other nameless assistants. "Should he be bleeding like that?" "Nope," says Jack, almost cheerfully, and then slugs the guy in the face. He goes down, and doesn't get up. Jack orders Juliet to step back from the table. She stares at him, and looks over at a stunned Zeke, who is now the only one in the observation room. Juliet stands back. Jack tells Zeke that he's just made a small incision in Ben's kidney sac. "Now, if I don't stitch that back up in the hour, he's dead. Now get in here, and bring that walkie-talkie!"
Thank god Sawyer has finally decided to fight back, only the struggle against the Others is really brief, what with them having guns and everything; Sawyer winds up pinning Pickett, who still has his gun, up against the bars, but the other Other has Kate covered. "You let go, or I do her too," says Pickett. Kate yells for Sawyer not to let go, but he does. Kate screams. And screams and screams and screams. Pickett marches Sawyer out of the cage, and makes him kneel on the ground. "Please! I'll do anything you want!" screams Kate "I want you to watch!" yells Pickett. Kinda kinky, but okay. "Close your eyes, Freckles," says Sawyer, and Kate yells at him to stand up. Sawyer defiantly holds his head up while Kate yells for him not to give up. "This is for Colleen, you son of a bitch," says Danny. This show could have impressed me and made up for a lot by killing Sawyer here. Not because I don't like him, because I do, but because there was not a moment I believed they actually would. Instead, I spent the whole time waiting for Pickett's walkie-talkie to go off, which it does, with Zeke asking if Danny's anywhere near the cages. "Yeah, you could say that," says Pickett. Zeke tells him to give his walkie to Kate, and Pickett wants to know why the hell he'd do that. "Because if you don't, the doctor's going to let Ben die." Despite the friggin' monsoon pouring down, Pickett can hear the beeping over the walkie-talkie. "Just hand her the damn walkie, Danny!"
Pickett does so, never taking his gun off Sawyer, and orders the other Other to let Kate go so she can use it, and she starts yelling Jack's name. In the operating room, Zeke tosses the walkie-talkie over to Jack, who looks kind of like he's making this up as he goes along. Maybe he is. That's just how this show rolls. "Kate, you have about an hour head-start before they come after you," he says. She asks where Jack is. He hesitates, then asks her if she remembers the story he told her on the beach, the day they crashed. Is it this one? Kate doesn't answer for a moment, and Jack yells, "DO YOU REMEMBER!" and she screams that she does. Meanwhile, Sawyer's standing over there looking all jealous, for God's sake. Jack says, "When you get safe, you radio me and you tell me that story." "Jack, please," says Kate, who doesn't add anything like "Pickett's got a gun on Sawyer" or "we're on a tiny island, Jack." Which is too bad. "If I don't get a call from you in the hour, I'll know something went wrong, and HE DIES!" he yells that last bit as much for the Others' benefit as Kate's. Kate says she can't leave without him, and he says she can, and she screeches again that she can't. "Kate, dammit, run!"
Thirteen weeks, y'all. One-quarter of a year. That's a whole lot of Tiger Woods PGA Tour to play, but that's the kind of sacrifice I make to bring you these recaps.