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There are probably some 40-odd Lostaways I'd sooner see lose their voices before Locke does. But the supposed "implosion" of the hatch knocked the words right out of him. I suppose anything can happen when an "implosion" sends a door hurtling a couple of miles from the bunker to the beach. Locke remembers that old episode of Beverly Hills where Dylan and Brandon got in a sweat lodge, so he tries it, which gives us all a chance to see what Boone looks like with a shave and longer hair. Locke's vision pest might be the only one thinking straight, because it's only after this ultimately pointless fantasy sequence that Locke gets the amazing idea to go looking for Eko.
The polar bear has captured Eko, and dragged him back to a cave, which makes about as much sense as anything these polar bears have done on this island that doesn't include DYING FROM BEING UNABLE TO ADAPT TO A COMPLETELY ALIEN ENVIRONMENT. Charlie tags along with Locke on the Eko rescue and is no help at all.
In the flashbacks, Locke is now living on some commune, and he brings along a hitchhiker who turns out to be an undercover cop gathering evidence on the massive grow operation run by this farm. The leaders are pretty choked at Locke, but maybe they can explain why they themselves welcomed this absolute stranger into their midst when they're running a huge grow op? Locke takes the undercover cop "hunting" in order to kill him, but can't go through with it. What happens after that, we don't know yet.
Hurley's made his way back to camp, and picked up along the way a disoriented and naked Desmond, and lets everyone know about Kate, Sawyer, and Jack being captured. Everyone's concerned about these developments, especially Nikki and Paolo. Who? Dude, they've been there all along! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Closeup of an eye set in the face of someone who's bloodied and bruised. Pull back some, and we see that it's Locke, lying on his back on the jungle grass, looking discombobulated, staring up through the trees. It's very reminiscent of how we met Jack, way back when, and considering what happens in this episode, that surely can't be a coincidence.
There's a rustling a little ways away, and Locke lifts his head to see Desmond running by, looking around. Locke does not call out. Probably sick of Des's Groundskeeper Willie impression. After a moment, Desmond's gone. It should be noted that Desmond was not, strictly speaking, wearing clothes. Locke slowly gets to his feet, then hears a noise from the branches above him -- and barely misses getting knocked out by Eko's Bible Thumper, which drops from the trees. He looks at it and frowns -- I'm thinking because of the biblical spelling mistakes.
On the beach now, Locke purposefully stomps over to his camp and starts ripping it down with his knife. Claire and Charlie, nearby, spot him and get all curious. Well, Claire does, anyway. "When'd John get back? And what's he doing? Where's he been? Where's everyone else?" She turns to Charlie, who has been blessedly silent, not that he could get a word in edge-wise with Claire yammering away like this. "Don't you think you should go and find out?" Your legs broken, Claire? No? Then you go ask him. After all, Locke has not, until a flashback reveals otherwise, punched you many times in the face. Locke stomps by, carrying sticks and tarps and a kitchen sink.
Charlie catches up with him in the framework of Eko's church in progress. Charlie opens with attitude: "So you're gone for a whole day, after a massive hatch detonation. You don't call; you don't write... " How about this, Charlie: Locke's gone for a whole day, after a massive hatch detonation. You don't look for him; you go and resume your quest to get into Claire's pants. Anyway, Charlie finally notices that Locke is completely ignoring his blatherings, and asks if he's interrupting anything. Locke apologetically pats at his throat, and it doesn't take that long for Charlie to deduce that Locke can't speak. "I am sorry about that," he says, and I haven't decided if he's being serious about that. Probably not. He asks about Desmond and Eko. "Are they off being mute and building structures as well?" Locke motions to his throat again, and Charlie's all, yeah yeah, I know you're mute, John. But that's not what Locke's going on about this time. He makes speaking motions, and Charlie deduces that he needs to speak, and then they have a little game of charades in which Locke tries to tell Charlie who he needs to speak to: he picks up a handful of sand (Charlie: "Sand. You need to speak to sand"), he sweeps his arms around to indicate the island (Charlie: "Trees? Yeah, I hear they're wonderful conversationalists"). Locke's forced to advance menacingly on Charlie in the hopes of reducing the frequency of stupid comments (although, in Charlie's defense, Locke doesn't even tell him how many words the answer contains, and doesn't even try "sounds like... ," not even once), and eventually manages to get Charlie to guess "the island." Because that makes much more sense than "sand" or "the trees," Locke. And Charlie has to confirm it: "You need to speak to the island."
And then I thought we went to the commercials, but there's Brian Porter (Walt's adopted dad) handing out Pizza Hut to his screaming kids. Looks like he got over Susan's death pretty damn fast.
Locke's finally figured out that when you've lost your voice, a pen and a piece of paper are a big help. He scribbles "I need your help" on it, and he shows it to... Charlie? Huh. Okay. Well, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Jin, Sun, Hurley, Eko, Desmond, Michael, Rousseau, Boone, Shannon, Libby, Ana-Lucia, Scott/Steve and, hell, Henry/Ben, are nowhere to be found, so Charlie it is. "Since when do you need my help?" says Charlie, and Locke totally wastes good paper (even if they were in a place with a Staples right around the corner) and flips to a new page and scribbles "I need U 2 stand guard," like who knew Locke was such a Prince fan? "Oh yes, so you can talk to the island," says Charlie sarcastically, and adds that as amusing as "the mute game" invariably is, "you are aware, John, that I detest you." Trust me, Charlie: you learn to live with the hate. Charlie reminds Locke of how he punched Charlie repeatedly in the face and accused him of using heroin when he wasn't. I love how indignant he is about that: "on the few particular times you accused me of using my drug of choice, I was not in fact high." Locke just writes down "@ the sweat lodge" on yet another sheet of paper, and Charlie says, "The sodding hell is a 'sweat lodge'?"
Flashback to an old pickup driving down a lonely highway. There's blues music on the radio, and Locke's behind the wheel. It looks to be early morning, and it's raining hard. So when Locke comes along a drenched young man with his thumb sticking out, it's no big surprise that the big-hearted Locke stops. "Where ya headed?" he yells, rolling down the window. "Eureka," says the lad, who was recently seen playing Tom Cruise's son in War of the Worlds. Lived to tell about it, too. ["He was also utterly effing awesome in the Weeds pilot." -- Joe R] Locke says he can take him as far as Britchfield or Bridgeville or Bumfuck or wherever, and the kid climbs in the cab, and they introduce themselves; the guy's name is Eddie. "You don't mind my asking, what's in Eureka?" says Locke. Eddie says he heard there's work there, cutting timber. Or perhaps he's a music producer, and is hoping to cut some timbre. "That what you do?" asks Locke. "That might be what I do, I don't know. All I know is that I had to get out of where I came from." Eddie says his mom's dead and his dad's drunk. "Sister's a whore?" asks Locke. Well, no -- he just gives Eddie a sympathetic smile.
Just as Locke's noticing that the rain's let up, a state trooper behind them lets his siren tweet for a moment. I hope it's Car Ramrod! Eddie wryly asks if Locke robbed a bank. "'Fraid so," says Locke, smiling.
The trooper strolls up to the driver's side door, where Locke's got his license and registration ready to go. He asks if he was speeding. "Taillight's out," says the trooper tersely. He glances at Locke's documentation and asks them both to step out of the car. They do so. The trooper nods toward the duffel bag in the back of the truck and asks what he's got in there. "Guns and groceries," says Locke. Eddie manages not to look too startled. The trooper throws the tarp off, and Locke wasn't lying. In fact, there're more guns than groceries. Come to that, I don't see any groceries. But there are rifles and handguns aplenty. But before the trooper can draw his weapon and start shooting, Locke assures him all the transaction logs and the paperwork are in the red notebook. The trooper takes it out and gives it a cursory glance, and Locke asks if they're free to go. "I could still take you in for picking up a hitchhiker," says Officer Hardass, and Eddie lies and says Locke's his uncle, and that he called him to pick him up. I have a hard time believing the trooper accepts this, what with the brutal "Huh?" face Locke's got on. Or maybe the trooper just figured it wouldn't be worth his effort. Or, given what happens later, perhaps this whole traffic stop was staged to give Eddie some credibility. "Get out of here," he snaps, and gets back in his patrol car. Locke closes the duffel bag back up. "So what is with all the guns, 'uncle'?" asks Eddie. Locke just smiles. If I'm Eddie, I think this is about when I'd say, "You know what? Here's good. Thanks a lot for the lift, Locke."
Back on Craphole Island, Locke is mixing something with a mortar and pestle, while Charlie checks out the makeshift steam lodge that Locke erected rather quickly and makes sarcastic comments. Then Charlie notices what Locke's doing. "What's that? You're not taking drugs, are you, John? I only ask because of the strict zero-tolerance policy you've enacted. And I wouldn't want you to have to start punching yourself in the face." Locke grabs his pad, but strangely enough doesn't write "SHUT UP, CHARLIE" on it. He just shows Charlie the page on which he's written, "I need U 2 stand guard." Charlie says he knows he's gotta keep Locke from devolving into a monkey. Locke writes down "Don't come in" and Charlie says "okay," and Locke slashes a line underneath it to make sure.
With the fire going in the lodge, Locke takes a couple fingers' worth of his druggy paste -- the same stuff he rubbed on Boone's head? -- and then pours some water on the hot rocks 'round the fire and over his head. Then he sits, Charlie standing guard outside. Locke stares into the flames, and we wait.
Suddenly, a hand grabs Locke's shoulder. He turns to his right. Sitting there is Boone, so either we're going to have Lost's most implausible plot twist yet, or this is a dream sequence. Neither possibility really gets my toes a-tappin'. Boone looks good. His hair's long, he's shaved -- he looks even prettier than he used to! He says hello. "It's good to see you again," he says. Locke's vision quest may have brought Boone back to life, but it hasn't brought his voice back, so he points to his lips and mouths the words "I'm sorry." Boone says it's okay: "I was the sacrifice the island demanded," he says. Locke shakes his head, and starts to "speak" again, but Boone tells him not to worry about it: "You'll speak when you have something worth saying." That's a rule I'd like to see instituted at my office, damn. The silence would be beautiful. Boone says he's going to help Locke find his way again, so he can "bring the family back together." Boone says he wants to show Locke something, and he starts to get up, but Locke can't stand up. He grasps at his ankles, to no avail. He looks beseechingly at Boone, who says, "Locke, you're gonna need that," and nods over towards Locke's wheelchair on the other side of the sweatlodge (incidentally, this thing looks a lot bigger on the inside than it does on the outside), its wheels spinning and squeaking.
And now's when things start to get a little trippy, with quick cuts and ghostly effects. Locke's wheelchair rights itself, while Locke looks around fearfully. Suddenly, we're in the Sydney airport, with Boone pushing Locke in the wheelchair. Awesomely, at least for comedy purposes, Locke is still shirtless. "John, someone in this airport is in serious danger. You're the only one who can save them." We see Charlie and Claire and Aaron standing together, laughing together like a happy family. Locke points at them. "Not them, they'll be fine. For a while," says Boone.
Okay, how about Sun and Jin, over there? Locke points again, but we see Sayid behind them. "I think Sayid's got it," says Boone. And there's Hurley, working the Oceanic check-in counter, entering the numbers into the computer. We even hear the shuffling of the bunker's counter. "Not Hurley," says Boone. Locke looks elsewhere. In the role of the pilot: Desmond, coming down an escalator, trailed by a bevy of smiling stewardesses. "Forget it. He's helping himself," says Boone wryly.
Over to a window, where Locke can watch the security screening. Standing in line are Kate, Jack, and Sawyer. Locke silently freaks out when he sees that the security officer is Ben (Locke still knows him as Henry Gale), waving the metal-detector wand over their bodies. "There's nothing you can do for them. Not yet," says Boone. "First you have to clean up your own mess." The "clean up your own mess" reverberates over and over again, as Locke gets more frantic. And Boone disappears, and the fantasy airport is empty. Locke looks around and finally spots him at the top of the escalators. "Come up here, John," calls Boone.
Locke apparently manages to hoist himself onto the escalator, sans wheelchair, and has to crawl when he gets to the top -- only now he's covered in blood. He sees Eko's Bible Thumper and reaches for it. Boone's now also soaked in blood. "Clean it up, John. They've got him. You don't have much time," he says. Locke snaps back to reality back in the sweat lodge. At least, it seems like reality, but we get a quick flash of a snarling bear, and John pitches out of the sweat lodge, surprising Charlie. "John, what happened? Are you all right?" Locke stares at the lodge for a moment, then gets to his feet, and grabs his knife, drawing it from its scabbard. Understandably, Charlie's a little nervous about this, and asks what he's doing. "I'm going to save Mistereko's life," says Locke. Locke needed a sweat lodge and a drug trip to tell him to go look for Eko? Thanks, sweat lodge! I'm sure Eko appreciates it.
Locke makes his way through the jungle, Charlie following a short distance behind. Something off to the side catches Locke's eye. It's Eko's crucifix, hanging on the bushes. "He was dragged this way," says Locke. Charlie asks, "By what?" "By a polar bear," says Locke. A surprised Charlie says Sawyer killed the polar bear. "He killed a polar bear," says Locke, and I guess in this case Sawyer wasn't able to wipe out an entire island population by killing one animal.
They keep walking, until Locke crouches by a dark spot on the leaves covering the jungle ground. He pokes it with a finger. Fresh blood. "I'm going to go on alone, Charlie. You go back to Claire." Charlie says he'll take his chances, but Locke says Charlie doesn't want to go with him: "Bad things happen to people who hang around with me." Hey, yeah! Charlie, go with him! Hang out with him all day long!
Locke and Eddie drive down a dirt road in the countryside, up to a metal gate (with a "Warning: No Trespassing" sign on it), which a young boy swings open. "Hey, Bobby," says Locke, smiling and handing him a bag of candy as they drive through. The dirt road's flanked by peach trees, and there are people with baskets picking them.
Locke stops his truck to a blanket-covered dome, smoke coming from the entrance. It looks much like the sweat lodge he's built on Craphole Island. Eddie asks what it is, and Locke tells him, but Eddie's never heard tell of a sweat lodge before. ["Okay, has nobody on this show seen before??" -- Joe R] "Anybody who wants can go in there, light a fire, get it nice and hot, meditate." Or hotbox. "Then what?" asks Eddie. "And then you're supposed to figure out what to do with your life. You know, what direction to take." Then he suggests Eddie go in and figure out if he's a farmer or a hunter. Eddie asks which one Locke is, and Locke just smiles, knowing that he will apparently have a new occupation every single time he gets a flashback episode.
Suppertime at the big picnic table. Looks like we got ourselves a genuine commune. Locke introduces Eddie to the couple at the head of the table -- although I'm sure their position at the head of the table is pure coincidence and not an unconscious attempt to introduce class dynamics into this society of equals -- who are named Mike and Jan: "He's looking for some logging work, but I convinced him to come home and have some supper with us first." Mike, Jan, and Eddie exchange pleasantries, with Jan saying, "Any friend of John's is a friend of ours," and Mike saying, "John's a very special guy," which comes out just the littlest bit creepy. Locke and Eddie sit down, and Mike notices Eddie's shirt, which looks like an old-school rock T with the coloured arms, and a made-up band named "Geronimo Jackson" on it, and I guess this is an inside reference to the Lost online game, or the Lost bottle-cap clue hunt, or the Lost book club, or the Lost toys for guns program, or whatever else the fuck is using up producers' energies other than just working on the SHOW, and there's some small talk about that.
And then Mike stands up to introduce Eddie to the group, and everyone says hi, and Eddie says it's nice to meet them, and also that he's not a narc or anything.
Mike invites Locke to say grace, and Locke stands up and gives a really long-winded prayer thanking God for food and friends, and rain, so some guy named Adam will stop grumbling about drought, and everybody laughs, and Adam looks really angry about it, like NICE HIPPIE, and then he thanks God for helping him stop being so angry. "And for helping me find a real family. Because they're a hell of a lot better than the one I used to have. So, let's eat. Amen." I understand he's grateful, but it doesn't take much to be better than "crazy child abandoner" and "drunk kidney-stealing douchebag," so the commune folk (communists?) shouldn't start patting each other on the back just yet. They all start chowing down, and Eddie catches Locke's eye to give him a couple of pointed thank-yous. Cry about it, why don't you?
Back in the jungle, Charlie and Locke come upon a huge hole in the ground, full of rubble. "Is that the hatch?" asks Charlie. "What's left of it," says Locke. "Looks like it imploded," he adds, miming with his hands the inward force of an implosion. They keep walking.
Dialogue that was cut from this scene: Charlie saying, "'Implosion'? How does an implosion send the hatch door flying all the way to the beach? I was almost killed!" And then Locke doesn't answer with, "Yeah, but I'm assuming the result of an implosion is easier to do, set design-wise, than the explosion that was implied in last season's finale." And then Charlie asks how an implosion knocked Locke and Eko (and presumably Desmond) so far away, and Locke doesn't answer, and then Terry O'Quinn beaks off about the show for a magazine article.
Then they come upon a dead boar, bloody gash in its side. Charlie's all freaked out and Locke, looking all around, has to shush him: "It's an active kill, meaning that whatever was eating this is going to back for more." Charlie gripes, "If you want to say 'polar bear' you can just say it." Heh. Locke finds a tuft of white decidedly NON-POLAR BEARISH fur. "All right, polar bear," he says.
There's a growling nearby, and Locke and Charlie look at each other fearfully. "Run!" yells Locke. They take off through the bushes, and we see quick flashes of the fake-o polar bear snarling and running too, and then -- nothing. They come into a clearing, and nothing's chasing them. Well, that was easy! Or was it? There's a rustling in the bushes. Locke takes his knife out, and whips it towards the rustling, which sounds and looks nothing at all like an enraged polar bear. There's a thunk, and we hear Hurley cry out. Charlie and Locke step forward and pull the branches aside, and sure enough, there's Hugo -- with Locke's knife buried in the canteen he's holding, from which he apparently he was just drinking. Do I even need to tell you what word Hurley says just before we go to commercial? If so, how are you enjoying the first episode of Lost you've ever watched?
Hurley's walking with Charlie and Locke, filling them in on what happened with Others: "They kept Jack, Kate, and Sawyer. And they sent me back to tell everyone else that we can't ever go over there. Oh, and that dude we had in the hatch, Henry? He was there. He's, like, their leader." Locke stops for a moment and says, "Now, Hurley, is he their leader or is he like their leader?" No, actually, he just looks around; he's not really paying much attention to Hurley, who asks what they should do. "Do what they told you: go back to the camp and tell the others," says Locke. "You're not going to do anything?" asks Hurley, and Locke tells him he is doing something. Hurley asks where they're going. "The island told Locke he has to save Eko," says Charlie, all dismissively, and all I have to say is however Locke got the idea, it's not the worst idea in the world to try to find out if the other people in the hatch got out. And furthermore, Charlie, if you're going to be a dick about it, why are you even coming? "Save him from what?" asks Hurley, because this is the first Hurley's heard about this island being dangerous at all, and Charlie says, "Well, apparently, a bear's got him. It's just made an active kill. You may want to hustle." Charlie and Locke continue on, while Hurley stops and plaintively says, "Bear? What bear?"
Locke finds another tuft of cotton -- I mean, polar bear fur, so I guess they're looking for the bear with male pattern baldness. "This way," says Locke, and then Charlie tells a story of getting high and watching nature programs on "the Beeb," and says that polar bears are meant to be quite clever: "They're like the Einsteins of the bear community." I guess that would be how they figured out to adapt to such a completely alien environment like Craphole Island, hmm? Note also that Locke has completely given up on responding to anything Charlie says.
Flashback to Locke and Eddie at the commune, getting ready to do some work. A woman walks by them -- we don't see what she looks like, but she's awfully nice to watch from behind -- and Eddie and Locke start poking each other about how she likes Locke, and Locke says she's half his age, and they keep going on like this, and maybe Eddie should just pull her hair and shove her in a puddle at recess and have done with it. "Lizzie's too granola for me," says Eddie. "What she really wants is a daddy. Like everyone else here. You should take advantage of that." What Locke should do is just turn a hose on Eddie. He does say, "That's not really funny, Eddie," and Eddie apologizes, saying it was a joke. Locke knows it was a joke. He just said it wasn't funny. They grab some baskets and head out to pick some peaches.
On their way to the orchard, Eddie asks Locke why he never talks about his dad. "Nothing worth talking about," says Locke, effectively ending the conversation. Eddie looks around the commune, and we see a huge greenhouse, with people unloading fertilizer outside of it. One of the hippies drops a bag. Eddie says, "What's going on in that greenhouse over there? Maybe they need a hand with that fertilizer." Locke hurriedly says no, and tells them they've got orchard duty.
Cut to Locke and Eddie with full baskets. Eddie asks what the big secret about the greenhouse is: "What have you guys got in there? What are you hiding? Because every time I go near it, you and just about everyone else acts all weird." Locke reminds Eddie that he's a guest here, and these things take time. Eddie complains that he's been here for six weeks: "I'm not blind, man. Did you forget you had a duffel bag full of guns when you brought me here?" Locke gives Eddie some grief about Mike and Jan welcoming him, and feeding him, and giving him a place to stay. "And Mike and Jan fold their hands every night before chow and talk about how we're family. But your family's got too many secrets," says Eddie, who adds that sees the fertilizer going into the greenhouse, he knows what's going on, and he wants in. "In on what?" asks Locke, failing to add, "... narc?" Eddie says, "Whatever you guys are trying to blow up." Locke bursts out laughing, and Eddie asks what's so funny. Locke doesn't answer this, but says he'll talk to Mike and Jan. And my first thought, when Locke was driving into the commune with a duffel bag full of guns, was that Locke had fallen in with some kind of militia group. But really, after seeing that it's a commune, is it really that hard to figure out what's going on in the greenhouse? Eddie's look of confusion is a little naïve for someone purportedly willing to throw in with some kind of bombing plot.
Back in front of the polar bear cave, Locke's getting ready to go in, while Charlie stands there staring inside. "You really think Eko's in there?" he says. Locke doesn't say anything. Charlie: "Let's hurry up and do this. Maybe the bear's out finishing his lunch." Locke says Charlie's not going in there, and they have an argument about it, with Charlie all, essentially, "You're not the boss of me!" and Locke pulling out his mystical nonsense about how he's "supposed" to go in there, while Charlie isn't. Because when going to try to rescue a big guy like Eko, it'd sure be stupid to have someone else along, Locke. But Charlie acquiesces, and says, "If it all goes to plan, we probably won't even see the bear, will we?" Locke's been rubbing mud on his arms and face, and says, "And hopefully he won't smell us." He pulls out a can of hairspray. Charlie says, "Hairspray? Now, I hate to be the one to point this out to you... " and Locke says it isn't for him, and they grin at each other.
Locke goes to the cave entrance, and ignites his torch with a lighter. He draws his knife. Charlie watches, the look on his face clearly saying, "God, I'm a pussy." Not that Locke doesn't look apprehensive. But he slowly makes his way into the cave anyway.
Hurley's making his way through the bushes, when he hears a rustling. "Bear? Is that you?" Hurley, you're starting to wear me out. From the bushes, we hear, "You alone, brothah?" Does Hurley not realize this is Desmond? Because, from the way he answers, it kind of sounds like he's worried that the bear wants to know if he's alone.
Desmond pops up from the bushes, and Hurley reacts to his nakedness like you might react to seeing your mom naked. Desmond says the beach camp's right over there, and he asks Hurley to get him some clothes. "What happened to yours?" Desmond takes a long while to answer, and then says, "I woke up in the jungle like this." "So, like, the hatch blew off your underwear?" Well, sucked it off in the "implosion," anyway. But Desmond's getting a little annoyed; he takes a step towards Hurley and spreads his arms: "Fine, you want to discuss this in great detail right now? Let's do it." And up until a moment ago, his hands had been covering up his junk, and now they're not, so you can imagine how much this pleases Hurley, who frantically pulls a shirt from his backpack. "How do you feel about tie-dye?" he says, offering it to Desmond.
Locke carefully makes his way through the bear cave, taking great care not to disturb the dank. As he makes his way, he accidentally kicks something on the ground that makes a metallic clank. He crouches, picks up a metal toy dump truck. It's dirty and banged up. Locke frowns. Not so Tonka tough now, is it?
Back at the commune, Locke strolls up to the greenhouse, which is being guarded by a shaggy-haired fellow named Kim, holding a rifle. Locke greets him and asks if Mike and Jan are in. "Yeah, they were looking for you," says Kim, not real friendly-like. Locke notices, but pretends not to: "Good, good. Good timing then, huh?" And he goes inside.
Sure enough, the greenhouse is wall to wall with marijuana plants. Mike and Jan are packing up files and baggies and arguing with each other about bags of cash and bank records. "Shouldn't we sort out what they can trace?" asks Mike, and Jan yells that there's no time. "What's going on?" duhs Locke. "What does it look like?" snaps Jan. Mike tells Locke that he screwed up, blew it big time. Locke has no idea what's going on: "What are you doing? Are you leaving? Why?" Jan shoves a folder at his chest: "That is why, you idiot!" Locke opens it, as Mike tells him his friend's a cop. Locke looks at a picture of a Humboldt County Sheriff 's ID, with Eddie's picture on it. Edward F. Colburn is the name on the ID. "Do you know how much jail time we'd get for this much weed?" asks Mike, who's at least not yelling like Jan: "Nice picture, huh? Got him fresh out of the academy!" Locke tries to tell them that Eddie was hitchhiking and was going to Eureka. Who knew Locke was unfamiliar with the concept of undercover police work? "He was waiting for you, John," says Jan. "He has been here for six weeks gathering evidence because you brought him here." Locke calls that "impossible," and Mike tells him Eddie played him for a sucker, and now it's over. And while they're stringing up Locke for this, can I just ask what kind of massive marijuana grow op lets perfect strangers just wander onto their property? Does that make any sense to anybody? Anyway, Locke tells Mike and Jan that they don't know what Eddie has on them. "He hasn't even been in here yet. If he's still gathering evidence and trying to make a case, then it's not too late." "Not too late for what?" asks Jan. She and Mike are both looking at Locke now. "To protect us. To protect all of us. It's not too late to fix this. I can fix this," says Locke. Mike takes a couple of steps towards him. "How are you going to do that, John? Huh?"
Flashback to the cave. Locke's still looking around, but the music is getting louder and more intense, so we must be close. He comes across a section of the cave just littered with bones, some of them human. Instantly, I think of that old Far Side cartoon where the bear puts on a skull-puppet show for his cubs. Locke notices that one of the skeletons seems to be wearing some Dharma-brand clothes. Pearl Station, represent! Then he spots Eko, lying on the ground, arm outstretched. At first, I thought the bloody bone was what was life of Eko's chewed-off arm, but it turns out he was just holding the bone as a weapon.
Eko's barely conscious, and he wakes up when he sees Locke. Just then, though, there's a roaring, and Eko's dragged away. We get a ridiculous fight with lots of quick shots of a snarling "polar bear," and I laughed out loud several times. Locke grabs Eko's arms and tries pulling him, throwing a rock at the bear. Then he pulls out the hairspray and makes like Rob Lowe in St. Elmo's Fire, frying the bear's head. We get an absolutely hysterical shot of the "bear" "running" "away." And I hope that's the last we see of it. I appreciate the ambition, but if this is what it's going to look like, let's just have Sawyer make the polar bears extinct too, and be done with it. Locke lifts Eko up and drags him out of the cage, where Charlie's still waiting.
Locke lays Eko down on the ground. "Is he okay? Is he alive? Is he all right?" asks Charlie, genuinely concerned. Locke tells him Eko's alive, and they've got to get out of there. They lift Eko up, and carry him away.
Hurley and Desmond are strolling through the jungle, with Desmond filling him in on what happened. "So, when you say 'turn the key,' you mean like key, key?" like WHAT IN GOD'S HOLY NAME ARE YOU BLATHERING ABOUT, HURLEY? Desmond tells him it was a failsafe key, which Hurley says seems kind of convenient. "If you had this magic key the whole time, why didn't you, like, use it?" Desmond says he didn't know what would happen. But now he does: "The failsafe key must have detonated the electromagnetic anomaly, made the hatch implode." Hurley points out that Desmond didn't implode, which Des acknowledges is true.
Unfortunately, we're not yet done with Hurley's "comic relief" aspect of tonight's episode: "You're not going to, like, turn into the Hulk, or something." Desmond laughs. Hurley asks him if the implosion is what made the "blender noise" and turned the sky purple. Desmond says he missed that, so Hurley fills him in: "Well, FYI, the whole island vibrated. And Kate and Jack and Sawyer saw it, too, right before they got bags pulled over their heads." How weird for Hurley to specify that Jack, Kate, and Sawyer all saw it, other than so Desmond can say, "Don't worry. Locke's going to go after them. He said so in his speech." Hurley's all, speech in the what now? "All he said was he was going to go save Eko and kill bears." Desmond blinks, and looks as if something's coming back to him. He says Hurley's right (which is weird enough, since it's not like Desmond was there when Locke said that) and that he's just a bit shook up.
Locke and Charlie are dragging Eko back to camp, and right about now Locke must be really thrilled that Charlie's only about four feet tall. Locke notices Charlie looking around fearfully, and smiles. "I burned that bear pretty good. I don't think he's going to be coming after us." Never? Please, let it be never. Charlie wants to know, since they've survived the "suicide mission," what Locke saw in the "spirit tent." Locke waits a moment before saying that he saw Boone, and Charlie doesn't question it, just asks what Boone "[had] to say for himself." Locke tells Charlie about the cleaning up of his own mess. "Well, dead as he may be, I agree with Boone," says Charlie, who gratuitously points out that if he'd kept entering the numbers like Eko wanted... and Locke finishes the thought for him: "We wouldn't have had to save him in the first place. Yeah, Charlie, that's what cleaning up your own mess means." Charlie says he sounds like someone who's had a few too many messes to clean. Locke says, "Funny you should mention it. I remember this one time I was living on a commune, and -- doodle-oot, doodle-oot, doodle-oot... "
Flashback to Locke and Eddie walking through the forest mist in what looks like early morning, carrying rifles. "No deer, huh?" says Eddie, and a very nervous Locke says "Nope." Eddie asks if he's talked to Mike and Jan yet, and Locke says he did: "They said that I should, uh, bring you by the greenhouse tonight after supper and that they would explain everything." Eddie really oversells just how "cool" and "great" that is.
Suddenly, Locke points into the distance, and Eddie snaps around, unshouldering his rifle. Behind him, Locke does the same, only he points it at Eddie. Eddie's all whispery "did you see something?" and when Locke doesn't answer, he turns around to see Locke pointing the rifle at him. "What are you doing?" he says. Locke wants to know if Eddie knew Locke would be driving the truck: "Did they choose me?" Eddie plays dumb for as long as he figures he can; he starts to raise his rifle, but Locke says he didn't load that one. Eddie drops it on the ground. "So how about you just answer the question, Eddie?" Eddie says that yeah, they chose John. Locke wants to know why. "Because you hadn't been here long, didn't have a criminal record, and psych profiles said you be amenable for coercion." "'Amenable for coercion'?? says Locke, who seems rather distressed by that assessment. Eddie tells him to lower the gun, that this isn't personal. "What's not personal?" he yells. Eddie just looks at him. Then he starts backing away, despite Locke telling him not to. "I'm sorry, John, but you're not going to shoot me. You're not a murderer. You're a good man. You're a farmer." Locke says, "Nope. Not a farmer. I was a hunter. I'm a hunter." Eddie says he's going to walk away now, and he turns and does just that. Locke keeps the rifle trained on him -- and I had no idea whether Locke was going to shoot or not. I mean, it would have been jolting for them to suddenly make Locke a cop-killer, but the number of Lostaways who we know haven't killed anybody is rapidly dropping.
Back on Craphole Island, Charlie and Locke are still dragging Eko back to the beach when Charlie hears a stream. "Let's put him down, maybe get some water in him," says Locke. They set him down, and Charlie volunteers to go get the water while Locke waits with Eko.
And sure, since Eko's unconscious, now it's easy for Locke to apologize to him. He says he's sorry he doubted Eko and gave up his faith in the island, because now their people are captured. "If I'd just listened to you, if I'd just let you keep pushing the button... I could have gone with them, protected them. I could have saved them." Eko speaks: "You can still protect them. You can still save them." Locke, stunned, looks over; Eko hasn't moved, but his eyes are open and he's looking directly at Locke, who says he doesn't know where they are. "You will find them. After all, you are a hunter, John." Locke thinks about this a moment, but before he can respond, Charlie comes back. "Did you say something?" Locke says Eko's awake, but when he and Charlie look back at Eko, he's zonked out. In fact, Eko's not even there at all! No, wait; there he is. Locke tries to give him some water, but Eko doesn't respond. "Maybe we should just get him back, John," says Charlie, who clearly thinks Locke's nuts.
Claire's doing laundry at the beach when she sees Charlie and Locke carrying Eko. She goes running over when they see her, as does this other Lostaway, who I last saw pining away for Laura Linney, who had a brother whose medical and emotional needs put a major damper on any kind of relationship she tried to have, and he says, "What happened?" Hurley comes over too, and asks if Eko's alive. And then another heretofore unseen and mute Lostaway, a woman this time, says they need Jack. Locke gets Charlie to take Eko into a shelter, and Hurley says Jack's not coming back: "They've got him." Claire freaks: "What? What are you talking about, Hurley?" And then this other chick is all, "Hi, longtime Lostaway, first-time speaker? Yeah, Jack's gone? I don't understand. Okay, when were you planning on telling us this, Hurley?" Whoa! Didn't Hurley just get back? Give him a break, Nikki. Meanwhile, the other new guy is completely clueless: "What do you mean 'they'? Who's 'they'?" Locke tells them about the Others, and says that yes, they've got Jack, Kate and Sawyer. "How? What happened?" says "Paulo," who really should have thought about catching up with the DVDs before he got here. Claire asks about Sun, Jin and Sayid, but Locke says he doesn't know about them. "I'm going to find our friends. I don't know how yet, but I will. We're going to find them. All of them. And then we're going to bring them home." While Locke's making his -- oh, what's that word for a formal, articulate expression of thoughts and feelings? Let's call it a "statement" -- about going back for the other three, Hurley's looked over to where Desmond is obliviously chucking rocks in the ocean. Locke continues: "First things first: we've got to look out for Mr. Eko. So Paulo and Nikki, bring towels and water. Claire, we've got to clean him up, so bring all the first-aid supplies." This other guy strolls by and says, "How's it hangin', Locke?" and Locke says, "Yeah, hey, Roy."
Charlie says, to Hurley, "Not a bad speech," JUST IN CASE WE DIDN'T CATCH THE SIGNIFICANCE. Hurley says -- wait for it -- "whoa." It was either gonna be that or "dude," and he'd already used that one up this episode. He tells Charlie that he just got hit with déjà vu. But unless you're talking about Charlie, Charlie don't care, so he asks Hurley to get some bandages from the kitchen (I suppose he means the beach kitchen, because the hatch one imploded) when the déjà vu wears off. Hurley just keeps staring at Desmond, who has never looked as intent about anything as he does about throwing stones into the water.