Lockdown

Flashback. Locke's digging through his sock drawer. One of his socks looks a little more cubical than usual, and that's because Locke (he has hair!) has hidden a little jeweler's box with a diamond ring inside.

And now he's in the kitchen, packing up one of those fancy picnic baskets that accommodate wine glasses, while Helen putters around the kitchen happily asking what she's done to earn this, and Locke asks if her "fella" can't just take his "girl" out for a picnic, and maybe Locke wants to come back from the 1950s at some point, and he rolls the diamond ring up in a napkin and puts it in the basket. Helen asks if she can do anything to help, but he tells her he's got it under control, and he rather clunkily says, "Just read your obituaries and drink your coffee," and how obvious could it have been what was coming ? I know lots of people who enjoy reading the obits, but this was really awkward, and made worse by Helen going on about how it's the nicest part of the paper because no one says anything bad about people after they die, and I guess this was filmed before Milosevic kicked it. Meanwhile, you're thinking, "JUST TELL US JOHN'S FATHER DIED ALREADY," and Helen's reading and she suddenly looks concerned and asks Locke what his father's name is. He asks why. "Is it Anthony? Anthony Cooper?" Locke says it is. "He's dead," she says, looking stricken. She looks more emotional than Locke does about it; he just looks stunned.

And we cut to present-day Locke, sitting across from Henry, still chowing down on cereal, picking up right where we left off last time. Jack grabs a pen and tells Henry to draw his map again, but Henry says he was joking (about whether he's an Other). Jack and Locke are not laughing. "There's nothing out there besides my balloon. I was just frustrated. It was a stupid thing to say. I'm sorry," says Henry, looking quite contrite. Locke offers up that Ana's already long gone anyway. So yeah, no sense going after them if they're in trouble�? "So what's done is done?" says Jack, somewhat sarcastically. That's right, says Locke. Jack flat-out orders Locke to put Henry back in the armory, and he stomps off. Locke watches him go, and Henry does his little up-to-no-good eyes-widening thing, and says, "Why do you let him talk to you like that?" Locke doesn't answer, but he does seem sufficiently pissed off to grab Henry by his shirt and practically drag him back to the armoury. Hey, shit rolls downhill, Henry! Henry starts apologizing again, not that it does him any good.

Out in the pouring rain, Sayid and Ana-Lucia are arguing about the search for the balloon in question, since they haven't found it. Ana wonders if Henry made a mistake, and suggests searching the other side of the cliff, but Sayid thinks three hours of searching is more than enough, since he doesn't believe the balloon exists, and all Ana's done is given Henry two more days to think of a way to escape. Sayid starts yelling for Charlie, who yells, "Over here! This way!" all excited, like maybe he found some smack.

They run up to see that he's found a grave, complete with a stick cross at the head. Sayid and Ana squat down to have a closer look, and then Ana-Lucia notices that it doesn't seem to be raining where they are. They look up, and suspended in the trees above them is a giant bright orange and yellow balloon. Uh, you searched for three hours and didn't find that? Are you guys sure this is even an island, or could you have missed, like, a highway that'll lead you back to civilization?

Hurley's on the beach hanging up laundry or fiddling with his tent or something when Jack strides up and asks if he's seen Ana-Lucia lately. Hurley says she went into the jungle with Sayid and Charlie yesterday. Jack asks if he has any idea where they were going. "That would, like, assume that anyone actually tells me anything," says Hurley, who is Mr. Open Book. He says he might be more helpful if he were in the loop. "There's no loop," say Jack. Careful, Hurley. It wasn't all that long ago that Arse was complaining (to you, come to think of it) about this very thing. And then he got blown up. I'm just saying.

Fortunately, and I use the term loosely, Claire interrupts this to come running up to say that Aaron's being fussy or whatever, so I hope Sun has the afternoon free to look after him while Claire heads out across the island to cure some new "infection."

Jack checks Aaron out, says the fever's all gone, and Claire asks if Jack's just saying that, because he seems kind of distracted, and Jack chuckles and promises her that Aaron's fine, although is there anyone who wouldn't blame Jack for placating her just so we don't have to put up with sixty minutes of "mah BAY-by!"? He gets up to go, and Libby strolls up to ask if the doctor's still in. Apparently she got a boo-boo when she was reaching for mussels and grabbed a sea urchin instead, so let's all hope that Libby's not in charge of the cooking or anything. Jack says it's not infected, so it should be fine, and some Neosporin wouldn't hurt, like she just has to go down to the island Rite-Aid or something. She points out that the going rate for Neosporin is ten loads of laundry for a tube, and we see Sawyer playing cards with Kate and Hurley in the background. Jack looks like he's just now remembering that Sawyer has all the medicine.

In the armoury, Henry's being a good prisoner, reading quietly in his cell, while Locke works out on the exercise bike, and giving the record player a workout as well. Locke looks lost in thought. His reverie is broken, however, when he hears what sounds like radio static underneath the music. He gets off the bike and checks the record player, and then pulls the needle off. There's still static, with a little bit of feedback. He walks into the computer room, and checks the Appleocalypse II, which looks normal. The timer's at 47 minutes. The static seems to be getting louder, however, and Locke strolls out into the corridor, where he discovers the source of the noise: a loudspeaker mounted up near the ceiling.

He fetches a screwdriver from a drawer, and brings back a chair to stand on so he can fiddle with the loudspeaker. As soon as he starts tightening whatever it was he decided needed tightening, there's a loud feedback whine that startles him. Startles him? He practically fell off the chair. But now we can hear what sounds like a woman's voice, but what she's saying is inaudible.

In the armoury, Henry's heard it too, and yells, "What was that?" He calls John's name, but John's listening too intently to reply.

We flashback to Locke and Helen driving slowly through a cemetery. Know how many people are buried there? All of 'em! Locke stops the car, and they look over a few plots to where a coffin sits, ready for the service. Helen asks if she's sure he wants to do this. Locke thinks about it, and nods. "We could justgo on that picnic, you know." Good GOD, woman. It's his FATHER. I know the guy stole a kidney, and I know Locke had a hard time letting things go, but let the guy go to his father's funeral, if only for some closure. Maybe go on the picnic afterwards, what do you say? "Soon, I promise," says Locke. And then Helen makes some joke about maybe Cooper leaving Locke his kidney, and they have a good laugh. What else are you gonna do?

At the service, the priest is blah-blah-ing about meeting in the air or whatever. Helen and Locke are the only two people there, so I guess it's a good thing they showed up. Would they have gone through the whole rigmarole if there was no one there? Who made the arrangements? Who put the obituary in the paper? Aren't these questions Locke should be asking? The priest is rambling, and Locke happens to glance to his right (and I stand corrected, there's someone else there -- some white-haired dude, I have no idea who) and sees a couple of ne'er-do-wells over at another gravesite. It's the classic thug combo of a short skinny dude and a tall stocky dude, and they're looking over Locke's way. They see him looking and go back to pretending they're visiting another person's grave. Locke frowns. He looks over to his left, and there's a white sedan on the cemetery road. Dark windows, we can't see who (if anyone) is inside.

The priest asks if Locke wants to say anything, so Locke stands up. "I forgive you," is all he says. Off to the side, the car starts its engine and drives off.

Down in Swan station, Locke's still listening intently to the garbled audio. In the armoury, Henry's still calling out, wondering what's going on. Locke asks him to be quiet, and Henry keeps asking what's happening, so Locke yells at him to shut up, which I can't believe more characters on this show don't say to each other all the time. Henry suggests that Locke should get Jack, which isn't going to win him any points with Locke. Sure enough, Locke goes running at the armoury like he's going to break down the door, but he just yells again for Henry to shut up. As he does so, an alarm starts going off, and steel doors -- presumably the blast doors first noticed by Michael (who? Yeah, no kidding) -- start descending from the ceiling. Thinking quickly (but not quickly enough, as I'll elaborate on in a moment), Locke grabs the handy-dandy crowbar from the handy-dandy toolbox, and demonstrates perfect base-stealing form as he slides head-first across the floor, and manages to get the crowbar between the floor and one of the doors. And Henry still won't shut up in there.

So now we're going to enjoy all the fun of watching poker, except without Shannon Elizabeth pretending she's still got a career. Hurley's demonstrating his complete ineptitude at the game, since he doesn't know when he's supposed to bet or call or raise. He looks beseechingly at Kate, who is unsurprisingly no help, and Jack strolls up and does the Matt-Damon-in-Rounders routine where he knows exactly what everybody has, telling Hurley that Sawyer has him beat. "You got a baby straight; he's got the flush." Hurley's silence indicates that Jack's right, so Kate asks him to do her, by which I mean tell her what she's holding. Jack says it's hard to say, but she's just in it for the fun anyway, and she says Jack should try having fun sometime, or something annoying like that, like how many times do we have to see the "why the hell is Jack so serious all the time" routine anyway? Jack starts to walk away, but Sawyer calls him "Amarillo Slim" and sarcastically asks if just because Jack watches poker on television, he thinks he can "tussle with the big boys," like a table with Kate and Hurley is a real high-rollers game. "How about you put your mangos where your mouth is?" says Sawyer, like Lost's actual writers are now writing slash themselves. Thanks for that. Jack pretends he needs to be convinced to play a hand or two.

Meanwhile, down the hatch, Locke's examining the blast doors. The lighting starts to flicker, which makes Henry start to freak out worse than anything has so far. Locke squats down and tries to use the crowbar as a lever to open the door. No dice. Henry's still yelling, wanting to know what the noises were and what's wrong. Locke yells that nothing's wrong.

We flash back to Locke, who's traded in his blue ShopMart vest for the grey coveralls of a home inspector's job with Welcome Home. He's just wrapping up inspecting the house of some woman, who turns out to be Nadia. Sayid, wherever he is at this point, would be pleased I'm sure to know that Nadia's house's seismic bolting is first-rate and that there's no visible mould or dry rot. Locke says he thinks she and her husband have a pretty nice house there, which is awfully presumptuous, since it turns out that Nadia has no husband (something I'm sure Sayid would have also been pleased, at the time, to know). Judging from the sign on the lawn, she's selling the house. At least, I hope she is, as having a home inspection after you buy the house would be rather foolish.

Locke strolls back to his brown company truck, and he notices that the same car from the cemetery is parked across the street. He walks over to the driver's side door, which rolls down, revealing his father. Not much of a surprise there, I have to say. For anyone but Locke, I guess. "Hello, son," says Cooper.

Cooper and Locke have retired to a tavern. The bartender serves their drinks, and Locke asks what Cooper wants. He waited all the way until they got to the bar? Cooper starts in by acknowledging that what he did to Locke was wrong. "You stole my kidney!" says Locke for some reason, then adds, with some anguish, that Cooper could have just asked him. Wasn't it not so much the kidney as Cooper severing ties with Locke afterwards? Never mind; Cooper says he "killed" himself because there were two guys who were looking to take care of the job after Cooper took them for $700,000. "Retirement con," he says, and Cooper's con-artist business is doing an awful lot to convince an awful lot of people that Cooper is the dude who caused a bright-eyed James Ford to turn to a life of crime. Me, I'd like to know if these coincidences are ever going to turn into anything or just exist as a means to keep people inside with flow charts and notebooks filled with analysis. Cooper says the money's in a safe deposit box, but since the two goons are probably sitting on the bank, he needs Locke to pick the money up for him. Sothese guys know Cooper's not actually dead? So he faked his deathwhy? Locke laughs, says Cooper must think he's stupid. Well, we'll see, won't we? Cooper says Locke can have $200,000 of the money, which won't make up for what he did, but it's the best he can do. Sounds to me like he could do at least a half million better than that. Cooper says he'll be at the Flight Line Motel out near the airport until the afternoon, and then he's gone, money or no money. Huh? "And John? If I don't see you again, I'll understand." John stares at the key on the bar.

Back in the bunker, Locke's looking around for a way out, before yelling to Henry that they're locked in. You'll pardon Henry if he's not too concerned about being locked in even more. Henry asks if Locke tried prying the doors open, which he did, and then Henry quickly asks if Locke wants help. Locke strolls over to the armoury door and, after thinking it over, says yes. "And if I do help you get these doors up, then you're just going to lock me back in here, aren't you?" says Henry. The lights flicker some more, and Locke, figuring honesty is probably the best policy, says, "That's right." So Henry asks for Locke's word that he won't let his "people" do anything to him. Locke says that if Henry's who he says he is, then he's got nothing to worry about, so Henry starts in again with how the Lostaways are just looking for someone to blame. "So I'm gonna need your word, that you'll protect me. No matter what." As though that "no matter what" isn't the most suspicious thing over, Locke starts opening the combination lock, and then swings open the door. He looks at Henry. "Who are you?" he asks. "My name is Henry Gale. I'm from Minnesota. And I crashed on this island, just like you." Locke considers this, then says, "All right. You have my word." He turns away, and Henry looks kind of surprised, like he can't be-leeeeve that worked!

Oh, yay. More poker! It's totally not tedious! Hurley and Kate fold, because of course the hand has to come down to Jack and Sawyer, who apparently has only three papayas left, and he slyly asks if Jack thinks he's in his head. And he calls him "Cool Hand." And of course the hand is one of those on television or in the movies where the first guy to flip over (Sawyer, with his "pocket queens") assumes he's won, only to have the other guy beat him (Jack's got "kings wired"). Sawyer gets all angry, while Jack thinks the game is over because he's got all the fruit: "It wouldn't be fair to make you go out and pick some more mangos." Sawyer snaps that he's got a lot more mangos, like maybe the scriptwriter wanted to see how many times he could use the word mangos in this episode, and Sawyer suggests raising the stakes. "It's a pile of fruit," says Jack, laughing, and Sawyer says he wants it back. Kate asks if she should just go get a ruler. Is she chastising them? Or does she just need some help making up her mind? And now Sawyer's booting Hurley and Kate off the table, even though Hurley for some god-only-knows reason wants to watch the deathly dull hand about to take place. "One more hand, Doc. What's it gonna take?" asks Sawyer. And Jack totally blows his poker face by saying he wants to play for the medicine Sawyer stole, all of it, which should have been Sawyer's first clue that Jack didn't just happen to stroll by the poker game. Sawyer just looks at him.

Down the hatch, Locke takes the weights off a barbell. He and Henry strain on the crowbar to lift the blast door up slightly, so Locke can slide the longer barbell underneath. And the extra leverage and the arm strength of a wee, beaten, and tortured prisoner is just what Locke needs to pry the door up from the floor about a foot, foot and a bit, to which I call bullshit anyway. Nice crappy blast doors, Dharma. Using the barbell, Locke holds the door up while he orders Henry to slide the large metal toolbox under it. He does so, and the door crunches down slightly down on the toolbox but goes no further. John sees the space under the door is high enough for a man to slide through, and gets an incredibly stupid idea. He gets down on the floor and starts to slide under, feet first, despite Henry's warnings. Somewhat unsurprisingly, the toolbox isn't enough to hold the door, which edges down enough to pin Locke at his thighs. Locke screams in pain. He yells for Henry to stack some of the barbell's weights underneath the door, which in retrospect was a much better idea than the toolbox anyway, to "stop the pressure." Amazingly, Henry's barbell stacking must have lifted the door slightly, because otherwise how could the pressure already bearing down on Locke's leg be relieved? Nevertheless, that's what happens. Henry starts to pull Locke out from under the door, but that ain't gonna work, because one of the pegs on the underside of the door is digging into Locke's leg. So Henry lays Locke down on his back instead, and says they'll wait for someone to come down, which is just a matter of time, which Locke says they don't have. Maybe if people other than just the inner circle were allowed in the hatch, they wouldn't have to wait as long?