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Now this is an episode I dig. What Kate did was blow up her stepdad, who was actually her real dad, which made her angrier than the fact that he was beating her mom. She's captured by Mr. Marshal, who will eventually rue the day he ever picked up this assignment, but she escapes when the dent-proof car he's driving slams into a pole. On the island, this translates into her freaking out a lot and hallucinating just a little bit, and kissing Jack and running away from him. And she also sees a black horse, but if that's a hallucination, then Sawyer (who comes to and flirts with her and stuff) is having the same one. And what's especially weird about the black horse is that it was a black horse that the marshal was swerving to avoid when he went off the road and hit the car.
Locke screens the cult classic Orientation for Eko and Michael. What's kind of trippy about that movie is that if you play Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" it totally matches up. Locke and Eko are beginning their live game of backgammon, I think; at any rate, Eko sees the film and we find out that the Bible that the Tailaways snagged in Arrow station had a missing piece from the film. So Locke chooses the "deleted scenes" option on Orientation: Eko's Cut, and there's really not that much new revealed, just Dr. Kandel stressing that the computer is not to be used for anything other than entering the numbers, as that may cause another incident.
Michael is not in the hatch very long before he starts screwing around with everything. Unbeknownst to anyone else, while Locke and Eko are watching the lost Kandel scene, Michael manages to stop the timer, and then the computer says (well, displays, anyway), âHello?â so he types it back. And then the computer displays, âWho is this?â And Michael types that it is Michael. And there is this long pause, and then the computer types, âDad?â So in addition to everything else, the Others are not doing a good job of supervising Walt's internet usage. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Morning breaks, and Jin strolls out his tarpaulin-bedecked lean-to. He has showered, and he has taken off his shirt, and he is making me feel very bad about my own body. I may have to concede that I am not the best-looking Daniel I know (and yes, I'm aware of Daniel Baldwin). Following him, to wrap her arms around him from behind, is the positively glowing Sun. Even better than makeup sex is thought-you-were-dead-even-before-I-found-out-about-the-pirates sex. We've all been there. They both glance over to Hurley's campsite, and smile. Sun turns her head away first, but Jin keeps grinning in Hurley's direction, unable to contain his glee, conveying with just a smile, "Awwwwww, yeah." Hurley gives him a thumbs-up. Meanwhile, Sun's looking in the opposite direction, over to where Sayid is digging a grave with a hollowed-out log. At least, I assume it's a grave. If he's just putting in a wine cellar, that'd be a twist.Down in the hatch, Dr. Jack is tending to a still-unconscious Sawyer. Sawyer's kind of tossing and groaning a little, while Dr. Jack makes cheery banter about how impressed he is that Sawyer pulled the bullet out of his shoulder himself. Sawyer mutters something, eyes still closed. Jack can't quite make it out, and Sawyer repeats it: "Where is she?" Jack deduces that Sawyer means Kate, so he cheerfully says Kate's been looking after him for the past 24 hours, and the only way Jack could get rid of her was to send her out for food for Sawyer. Sawyer mutters something again. Again, Jack can't quite catch it, and the still-mostly-out-of-it Sawyer says it again: "I love her." Jack looks slightly chagrined, and sits down, probably trying to think of a loophole in the Hippocratic Oath that will allow him to let Sawyer die.
Kate is, as usual, up in a tree, because the only good fruit on the island is the stuff thirty feet off the ground. As she climbs down, half-sliding, she drops some from her pack. On the ground, she squats to pick it up -- and there, in the jungle, is a beautiful black horse. Kate's shocked, although after the polar bear, very little would surprise me (although, as will be revealed later, her shock at seeing the horse has a little more behind it than just its incongruity here on the island). She takes a step towards the horse, which whinnies and canters off, and is gone within seconds. The unmistakable sound of the impending flashback ratchets up on the soundtrack.
And now Kate is but a lass of -- well, she looks exactly the same, but it's safe to say this didn't happen yesterday. She's sitting on a porch, wearing a Janis Joplin T-shirt and playing with a lighter (the Zippo-brand Foreshadower model). Headlights splash against the side of the house, illuminating our apple-cheeked heroine, who looks up at the pickup jerkily making its way up to the house, country music a-blarin'. Her expression doesn't change, and she puts the lighter back in her pocket.
A guy gets out of the truck; this, we'll find out, is Wayne, and he staggers towards the porch, surprised, but not unpleasantly, to see Kate. He moves to embrace her, or something, and she sidesteps him and says, "Let's get you to bed." She helps him clatter through the house, which the set designer thankfully chose not to drape in black-velvet Elvis paintings. "What's that smell?" he says at one point. "Probably your breath," she says.
Kate flops him down on the bed, where he lies motionless for a moment. Then he tells Kate she's beautiful. She ignores him as she takes off his boots and socks, and he slurs, sitting up slightly, that he just paid her a compliment. "Yeah, I heard you," she says. As she moves to cover him with the blanket, he says, looking a little less drunk and a little more menacing, "Aren't you gonna take my pants off first?" She just pushes him back down on the bed, and he practically passes out. But as she leans in closer, he grips her forearm. "You are beautiful," he leers, his eyes flinty. She glares slightly, shakes her arm free, and tells him goodnight. But again, he's almost already unconscious.
She heads outside, gets on her motorcycle, pauses a moment, and drives off. Moments later, the house blows up. Now, the Television Without Pity rating system is by no means perfect, but I will say this: If you blow up a house for me within the first five minutes, you're starting with a baseline A. It's an A-plus if someone has to jump out of the way and yell, "Nooooooooo!" but the only one anywhere in the vicinity is Kate, and it ain't like she didn't know the explosion was coming (and it ain't like she didn't want it to happen, either). I will say this, though. If Kate killed this guy by turning on the gas, why exactly was she screwing around with a lighter on the porch? Little suicidal herself? Or just a moron? And what exactly triggered the explosion itself?
The little bell above the door dingles as Kate enters the diner, picks a stool, and slings off her backpack. The woman behind the counter comes over, asks if she wants coffee, pie, or both -- this is the same woman Kate visited in the hospital, so we already know it's her mother. Kate suggests a beer instead, and Ma asks for some ID. Kate rolls her eyes and reminds her mother that she's twenty-four. Ma says that if Kate wants to "roll around on that death trap" of hers without a helmet, she's not going to help Kate's cause by getting her drunk. Kate's rubbing her temples, because already her mother's annoying her.
Kate's mom pours the coffee, displaying a large black bandage on her left wrist. Kate asks how her mom's wrist is, and Mom gives her a casual over-explanation, about a shelf in the kitchen that sticks out too much. And a suddenly red-eyed Kate says, "Don't." Mom glances around the diner, before turning back to Kate and saying, "I made my bed, Katherine." "Well, your bed's gone, Ma," says Kate, who hands her mom an insurance policy she took out on the house. Ma doesn't quite get it yet. "What did you do?" she says, smiling. "Does Wayne know about this?" Kate gathers up her backpack and tells her mom to just remember that she was working all night and didn't see Kate. Ma's concerned now, and asks again what Kate did, this time with an urgency that indicates she's realized it might not be the nicest thing in the world. "I took care of you, Ma," says Kate, who adds that she's gotta go, and her mom's not going to see her for a while. She leans in for a hug, and then leaves the diner, while Ma shouts after her, "Katherine! What did you do?" And there are plenty of witnesses, like WAY TO BLOW THE COVER STORY, Ma.
Back in the hatch, Jack's tending to Sawyer when Kate comes in. He notes her looking less than chipper and asks if she's okay. She says she's just tired. She asks how Sawyer's doing. "Fever's still up there," says Jack, adding that he can't tell if the antibiotics are working, but getting some food in him will help. Then he suggests that Kate go down to the beach, "for Shannon." She says she should stay with Sawyer. Jack says he'll stay with Sawyer, when we all know he just doesn't want Sawyer muttering declarations of love directly to Kate. Kate insists, though, and Jack doesn't fight her too much. He tells her to keep Sawyer hydrated and to maybe mash up some of the fruit and try getting him to eat some. And since everyone's going to be at the beach (it's the social event of the season, apparently), Kate needs to remember the whole button thing, and she's all, check.
Apparently, not everyone's going to go to the funeral. Ana's on the beach, hammering a stick into the ground. Let's assume she's setting up her own campsite, and let's further assume she's not Sayid's -door neighbour. Eko strolls up. Just making small talk. He tells her he's going to go to the funeral. Ana-Lucia's all, me? Not so much with that. Eko squats down. "I think most of them realize it was an accident," he says. Ana-Lucia looks at him a moment, and continues to pound her stake into the ground using her actual fists, that's how tough she is. Side note: surely there are some extra clothes the Tailaways can wear? They're still in the grungy togs they've been wearing all along, which are soooo other side of the island.
Everyone gathers for Shannon's funeral, with the speaking cast shoving their way to the front of the crowd for the best vantage points. There's Sayid looking lost. Nope, still not buying it. Sorry. It's not Naveen Andrews' fault; I'm just sayin'. He looks down at the wrapped body in the grave, then begins his eulogy. "Shannon and I were strangers," he says. "We never would have met, if…" He falters, starts again. "Wouldn't even have spoken if…" I can finish that for you: You never would have met or spoken if Shannon had gotten her way and you were thrown in jail for leaving your bag unattended at the airport, Sayid. "But we did meet. And we did speak. And I did tap that," he says. He's really distraught, and finally just says, "I loved her." He grimaces. Him and me both. Everyone looks suitably emotional or embarrassed, as that's all Sayid can say, and he walks away.
Jack decides to step up, but all he says is, "May she rest in peace," and he throws a handful of dirt in the grave, and everyone else follows suit, and that's it, like NICE FUNERAL, and naturally the speaking cast all get to throw dirt on the grave before anyone else does.
Down in the hatch, Kate puts on a record, and it's the incomparable Patsy Cline singing "Walkin' After Midnight." She smiles. Then she's mashing up food and talking to the still-unconscious Sawyer, telling him that he'll get a kick out of waking up to her feeding him like a baby. Then she tells him that she saw a horse. As she says it, she seems not to believe it. "That's what happens when you don't sleep," she says. Sawyer starts muttering, so Kate comes over so she can hear. It would have killed me if this time he said, "Where is he?" and "I love him," but instead he mutters "good for nothing" and then his eyes open and he grabs Kate: "You killed me. Why did you kill me!" Kate looks terrified, probably because the spirit of Wayne is now inhabiting the body of Sawyer, and this is the way we suspend our disbelief this week.
The needle on the record is skipping up against the label, and the alarm is buzzing as Locke and Jack enter the hatch. Jack starts yelling for Kate while Locke heads to the computer room, where the timer is at twenty-three seconds. Jack rushes into the makeshift long-term care unit, and finds Sawyer face down on the floor.
Meanwhile, Locke frantically enters the magic numbers into the computer, stumbling over twenty-three (entering twenty-two instead), and the timer hits 0:00 very briefly before resetting to 108.
Jack struggles to lift Sawyer back onto his bed. Locke comes in to help, asks what happened. Jack says he doesn't know. "But you said…" says Locke, and Jack interrupts him with, "I don't know, John!" Yeah, really, Locke. Jack got there at the same time you did. Locke hasn't learned his lesson, though, and asks where Kate is.
Before Jack can snap at him again, we cut to Kate strolling through the jungle, and she's not so upset that a little chat with Charlie can't make her feel even worse. The little hobbit comes running up and tells her that she missed the funeral. She tells him she was with Sawyer, which he accepts. "A few of them came," says Charlie. "The new people. Not her, the one who killed Shannon. That would have been awkward." As awkward as this dialogue? Charlie says the Tailaways seem to have had a "rough time" of it, as opposed to themselves, for whom it's been smooth goddamn sailing, apparently. "Looks like they went bloody Lord of the Flies out there," he says, referencing easily the greatest novel ever to begin with "Lord of the…" Then he notices that she's not paying attention to him, which you'd think he'd get used to at some point. She asks him if he thinks there are horses here, because she saw one. Charlie says he's seen polar bears and heard monsters, but no horses. Seems to me the existence of the polar bears and the monsters makes the horses a lot more plausible, but Kate just stomps off.
She stomps into a flashback to a bus or a train station, where she counts some cash onto the ticket counter and asks for a one-way ticket to Tallahassee. The guy behind her, who's shot from behind so we can't see his face, says, "Tallahassee? I spent a week in Tallahassee one night." I have no idea why they didn't just show the marshal's face right away here, as hiding it only tells us that they're going to make a big reveal, and who else would they do that for? I guess, judging by the creaky old joke he just busted out, it could be Henny Youngman. Or fucking Mark Twain, for Christ's sake. Meanwhile, the "stranger" starts busting on how Tallahassee is all strip malls and waffle houses, and he asks what a "pretty young thing" (Michael Jackson?) like her is gonna do down there. She says she'll find something, and he theorizes that she has family down there. She turns around to tell him to his face that she's just visiting, and OHMYGOD IT'S THE MARSHAL! Run, Kate! But turns out this is when they met, so Kate doesn't know who he is yet. She turns back to the ticket counter, but the marshal says "hey!" a couple of times to get her attention. She turns around again. "Don't I know you?" he says. Suddenly suspicious, she glances around, and notices that the guy on the phone and the guy on the bench pretending to read a newspaper seem a little too interested in their conversation. "No, I don't think so," she says, and makes to leave, but he grabs her arm and presses his face to her ear. "Don't run, Kate," he says. She pops him in the gut and then the chin, taking him by surprise, but he still manages to spin her around and flatten her against the ticket counter with her arms behind her back. Meanwhile, the two most conspicuous undercover cops in the world spring into action, which is nice since the marshal's already got things under control. "Kate Austen, you're under arrest for murder," he says. I see she's still wearing that Janis Joplin T-shirt, and I hope for the marshal's sake she's found time to wash it. Either that or this happened right after she blew Wayne up. She protests her innocence, but the marshal tells her that her mama gave her up.
Charlie's strumming his guitar by the fire when Jack strolls up to ask him if he's seen Kate. Charlie says he did, a while ago in the jungle. "She was acting kind of barmy [which the closed-captioning hilariously transcribes as 'balmy'], asking me about horses on the island," he says. Charlie points him toward the path heading back to the caves. "Everything okay?" he asks, and Jack stomps off and says, "Yeah, Charlie. Everything's fine," all sarcastic, like it's Charlie's fault or something. Which I'm not convinced it isn't.
In the hatch, Locke uses these huge bolt cutters to finally get the handcuff off Jin's wrist. Jin rubs his wrist and smiles, then shakes Locke's hand and says, "Thank you." Holy shit! Jin speaks English! They're in the computer room, and Jin walks over to Michael, who's examining the door. Jin holds up the handcuff, and he and Michael share a smile. You know, the inside jokes and memories that friends share on this island are so far removed from the ones I have with my friends. With us, it's "Remember that time when we went bowling for the school bar staff party?" Here, it's "Remember that time I was handcuffed to plane wreckage because I attacked you because you were wearing the watch that belonged to the father of my wife, who I suspected you of coveting, especially with the way she sometimes has too many buttons undone on her shirt?"
Jin leaves, and Michael asks Locke what's up with the blast doors. Locke's all, "'Blast doors'?" "Like in the case of an explosion, they'll come down from the ceiling," says Michael. Locke looks up and examines what looks like a line of interlocking T's in the ceiling. Michael asks if Desmond didn't say anything about them. "No, he didn't. But he did leave a movie," says Locke. That one that's the all about Karen Carpenter's life but acted out with Barbie dolls? I heard about that shit! Locke asks Michael if he wants to see it, and Michael gives an assenting shrug. And Eko, who for a big huge guy manages to suddenly show up without anyone noticing pretty easily, says he'd like to see it too, "if you don't mind." "Why not? The more the merrier," says Locke.
Out in the jungle, Kate is sitting down, feeling sorry for herself. Her mood can only be improved by Jack showing up to give her shit for leaving the hatch and leaving Sawyer lying on the floor. "Is he okay?" asks Kate, genuinely concerned. "Yes, Kate, he's fine," says Jack, the "no thanks to you" unspoken. Kate gets up to leave and says she's sorry, and Jack's all "are you?" so Kate turns back and spits out, "I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you. I'm sorry I'm not as good!" Jack's all, whoa, and he asks what's going on with her. She tells him to forget it and turns to leave again, but he grabs her and hugs her, and she fights him and then starts to cry while he tells her it's okay in his big Jack doctor arms and she burbles about this place driving her crazy, and Jack tells her again that it's all right, and then they gaze into each other's eyes, and then they're kissing while the strings swell, and they suck face for about five hours before coming up for air. Kate steps back, looking kind of remorseful, and she turns around and walks away. She's halfway back to the beach before Jack can muster up a half-hearted "Kate."
We're in the special screening of Orientation, and Dr. Candle is explaining about entering the code into the computer. Michael and Eko sit on the couch watching. Locke's over to the side, all, "Oh, I love this part! Watch what happens here!"
The film ends, and Locke shuts off the projector. Michael's perplexed. "All right, so you've been pushing that button every two hours since you got down here?" Locke says that's right, and explains about the shifts. The camera zooms in on Eko while Michael asks if the other Lostaways don't want to know why they have to push the button. "I think the film's pretty self-explanatory," says Locke. Well, you're the only one, Locke. Michael calls him on it: "All I heard was something about electromagnets and an incident." He asks Locke about the missing sections on the film, which Locke figures is just a frame here or there, nothing important. Then he asks Eko what he thinks about the movie. Eko has been silent the entire time, and now he just gets up and leaves. Dude, it wasn't that bad.
Kate sits by Shannon's grave looking miserable. Sayid approaches, kneeling down, hanging some sort of necklace over the cross. Kate apologizes for missing the funeral, saying she had to be with Sawyer. "Why aren't you with him now?" asks Sayid. He doesn't sound all that interested in the trials and tribulations of Kate, actually. She says she's going crazy, and asks Sayid if he believes in ghosts. "I saw Walt in the jungle just before Shannon was shot," he says. Long pause. Then he asks her, "Does that make me crazy?" Well, given that you know Shannon saw him too, I'm going to say no, Sayid. You could mention that to Kate, you know. ["This is what consistently drives me buggy about this show. Why would he not tell her that, complete the thought? People do not interact with each other in this cryptic way! Just have a little redheaded kid pop up and yell, 'Plot point!' instead; it'd be more organic than this Morse-code system of information sharing they've got now. …Hi, not my recap. Sorry, D." -- Sars] Instead, Sayid gets up and strolls off.
We flash back to Kate in the passenger seat of a car driven in the rainy night by the marshal, who decides to ask her why she decided to kill Wayne now. She's silent. "Oh, right, yeah, don't tell me. You wouldn't want to incriminate yourself, not after you were so smart planning it. That jury back in Iowa sure ain't gonna get hung up on premeditation. And a gas leak? Come on, it's amateur hour from top to bottom," he says. She sarcastically says it sounds like he's got it all figured out. "I do have you all figured out," he says, and she spits that he doesn't know anything about her. So he outlines the Jerry Springer casting call that is her life: "White trash mom divorces dad, starts up with some guy who's a drinker. He knocks her around a little bit, she marries him, because, you know, that's what happens. And then this drunk, this Wayne, he moves into your house, and you get to lay there every night and listen to him doing your mom right there in Daddy's old bedroom. And even that wouldn't be so bad if he didn't beat her up all the time. But she loves him. She defends him." Like he asked earlier, he just wants to know what she waited all these years to blow Wayne up now: "He come knocking on your door late at night?" She turns to glare at him. "He never touched me," she snarls. He looks at her a moment, trying to gauge if she's telling the truth or not. Then he leans forward to use the car's cigarette letter.
At that moment we hear a neighing, and a black horse flashes across the road in front of the car. The marshal swerves, the car goes off the road and slams into a telephone pole. Kate catches her breath, looks over, and sees that the marshal is unconscious, facedown in his airbag. You know, his transports of Kate never seem to go too well, do they? She reaches in his pocket for the keys to her cuffs. He comes to, and she hits him, and they struggle, and she kicks him out of the driver's seat onto the ground, where he lies in a heap. Kate shifts over to the driver's side, tries the ignition, and the car still works, and she backs it up a bit (in fact, the front of the car looks as though it never actually hit a pole. I don't think that's the impression we're supposed to get, though). She turns the headlights back on (the marshal apparently thoughtfully turned them off when he hit the pole) and there in front of her is the black horse, standing there snorting. She looks at it a moment, then drives off, leaving the marshal on the side of the road and not even giving the horse a thank-you wave.
In the hatch's computer room, Michael is still asking questions about the button, like, this is the most inquisitive anyone has ever been on this show about anything. He wants to know why Locke can't just put the numbers in any old time. "It doesn't work that way. The alarm goes off at four minutes; you can't type anything until then," says Locke, who taps on the keyboard to demonstrate. Michael asks if Locke minds if he checks out some of this hardware, like it's Locke's hardware. Locke says sure, advising Mike not to break it. Well, that was the plan, Locke.
Locke walks into the kitchen, sees Eko sitting at the table. They both say hello, Eko looking very solemn. "I have something you should see," says Eko, and Locke sits down across from him, and Eko continues. "If you don't mind, I will begin at the beginning." Locke gives him a "go ahead" gesture. "Long before Christ, the king of Judah was a man named Josiah," he starts, and Locke has to interrupt to crack: "Boy, when you say 'beginning,' you mean beginning." Heh. Eko spins a tale about the temple where people worshipped falling into ruin, so the people worshipped false gods and idols, and the kingdom was in disarray and whatnot. Josiah, "since he was a good king," sent the secretary to the treasury so they could rebuild the temple, telling the secretary to give the gold to the workers to make it happen. "But when the secretary returned, he had no gold. And when Josiah asked why this was, the secretary replied, 'We found a book.'" Shot of the canvas-wrapped parcel in front of Eko on the table. Eko pauses to ask Locke if he knows this story. Locke says he doesn't.
Eko continues: "What the secretary had found was an ancient book, the Book of Law. You may know it as the Old Testament. And it was with that ancient book, not with the gold, that Josiah rebuilt the temple." Locke's smiling like he wants to say, "Well, that's a great story, but you should know that over here, I'm the mystic." But Eko still isn't done, and he unwraps the parcel as he tells Locke that on the other side of the island they found a place much like this. "And in this place, we found a book," he says. In front of them is the Holy Bible, which Eko slides across the table to Locke. "I believe what's inside there will be of great value to you," says Eko. Locke's like, great, we got ourselves an evangelical, but he opens the Bible anyway, rifles through the pages, and is surprised to discover that a hole has been cut through the middle of most of the pages for a little secret hiding space. Inside is a spool of film that Locke takes out, holds to the light. And what he sees -- frame after frame of Dr. Marvin Candle -- actually makes him open his mouth in surprise. He looks at Eko, who smiles. Your move, Locke.
Jack's chopping wood. Hurley approaches, so it looks like we're going to get one of those scenes where Hurley awkwardly broaches the subjects that no one else wants to talk about. I think Jack's annoyed by it too, as he doesn't even respond when Hurley says "hey." Hurley tries, "So, Rose's husband's white. Didn't see that one coming." Jack snaps at Hurley to ask if there's something he needs. Hurley says he was just taking a walk, figured he'd say "hey." Then he asks who's taking care of Sawyer. Sun is, says Jack, and Hurley guesses that Jack's mad at Sawyer, prompting one of those insufferable "you're way off" Jack chuckles that way he likes to do when people pin him down exactly. He asks why he would be mad at Sawyer. "Maybe because he's the one that always comes down here and chops wood, and now you are? It's, like, transference." Waiting here for Jack to say, "Is it like transference, or is it transference?" Anyway, Jack denies that he's mad at anyone, like he's fooling anybody.
Sure enough, there's Sun, whom I guess Jack managed to talk to in the five minutes she wasn't having sex with Jin since he's been back, and she's looking after Sawyer. Kate strolls in, asks where Jack is. Sun says she doesn't know. Kate asks if Sawyer's said anything. "Sawyer? No, he's still sleeping," says Sun, kind of surprised by the question. Then she asks if Kate can watch Sawyer now. Kate doesn't answer right away, so Sun kind of awkwardly withdraws the request, but Kate assents. And Sun tries not to look too excited as she leaves right away. Hope Jin didn't go to the trouble of putting his pants back on.
Flashback! Kate enters a U.S. Army recruiting office, glancing around as she does so. She approaches the desk of Sgt. Sam Austen. Blink and you'll miss it, but in the corner of the office is a television, and for a split-second as Kate approaches her presumably birth-father's desk, we can see Sayid on it.
Sgt. Sam sees Kate and hastily gets off the phone. Kate sits down and says, "Hi, Dad." Sgt. Dad says the police and the U.S. Marshals are looking for her. "I've been waiting outside for two hours. They're not here," she says. So Sgt. Dad asks her if it's true what they're saying. Strangely, Kate looks like she's thinking about the question. "Katie, what'd you come here for?" says Sgt. Dad sternly. "Why didn't you tell me, Dad?" Tell you what? asks Sgt. Dad. Kate says she was making a scrapbook for him for his birthday. "So I called one of your COs to get some pictures of you in uniform. The pictures that he sent me had dates on the back. Photos of you in Korea up until four months before I was born." Sgt. Dad's looking like, oh, shit. "Why didn't you tell me that Wayne was my father? Why?" She's attracting the attention of others in the office. Sgt. Dad says, "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd kill him." Wow, that makes absolutely no sense. "And your mother…loved him," he continues. "You were five years old. I wanted to take you along with me. She wouldn't let me." So if I understand this correctly, Wayne put a baby in Kate's mom, that baby was Kate, Kate's mom got with Sgt. Dad, they broke up when Kate was five, Kate's mom got back with Wayne. Check. But nobody told Kate that Wayne was her real birth father; we don't know why neither Wayne nor Kate's mom told her, and apparently Sgt. Dad figured that if Kate, the corn-fed Iowa straight-A student, knew Wayne was her real dad, she'd kill him for some reason. What is this, Alias? "So why didn't you kill him?" says Kate. Okay, what? Why would Sgt. Dad kill Wayne? Are we supposed to take that to mean Kate's mom cheated on Sgt. Dad with Wayne? Or that Sgt. Dad knows that Wayne beats Kate's mom? Maybe his answer will clear everything up. "Because I don't have murder in my heart," he says. Okay, what the hell? What exactly did Kate do as a child that Sgt. Dad sees her as a cold-blooded murderer? She gets up. So does he. He says he's going to have to call the police. "Can I have an hour?" asks Kate. He nods, and he looks like he's trying to smile, the kind of smile you'd get if you were simultaneously passing a kidney stone. They hug, and Kate says, "Bye, Daddy." And he's getting choked up, and she leaves the office.
Anyway, back in the hatch, Kate sits by Sawyer's side and asks if he can hear her. Sawyer doesn't stir. She leans forward, and says, "Wayne?" And Sawyer stirs, says something like "son of a…" And can I request that the writers of this show stop smoking crack, because then maybe we wouldn't get scenes like this one where apparently Wayne is still inhabiting Sawyer's body and Kate tells him why she killed him, especially if something ridiculous like "It's because I hated that you were a part of me, that I would never be good." Like she says, it's not because he drove Sgt. Dad away, or the way he looked at her, or because he beat her mom. Kate was so distraught about being Wayne's kid that she killed him for it (like Sgt. Dad knew she would, somehow). Oh, and the kicker is that every time she looks at Sawyer, every time she feels something for him, she sees Wayne, and it makes her sick. If it makes her feel better, she's not the only one feeling sick.
This is when Sawyer comes to: "That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard," he says, eyes still closed. Kate's thrilled Sawyer's waking up. "Who the hell's Wayne?" he asks. Then he looks around, blinking. "I'm in a bunk bed?" he says. Yeah, says Kate, laughing. "Are we saved?" he says. "No, Sawyer. Not yet," she says, half-smiling.
Eko and Locke are having a little film-splicin' party, with Locke all, "What are the odds?" Eko's looking at Locke like he has two heads, as Locke babbles thusly: "I mean, think about it. Somebody made this film. Someone else cut this piece out. We crash -- two halves of the same plane fall in different parts of the island. You're over there, I'm over here. And now, here's the missing piece right back where it belongs. What are the odds?" Eko pierces his bubble with a well-put "Don't mistake coincidence for fate." Eko, have a go at the pennies-from-heaven people too, if you like.
Kate's giving Sawyer the grand tour of the hatch-hole, and Sawyer just wants her to admit that they've been rescued. She takes him to the "air lock" as she jokingly calls it, and takes him outside into that ol' familiar jungle to prove to him that they're still stranded on Mystery Friggin' Island. "Son of a bitch," growls Sawyer. They sit down. "I really thought you were yankin' my chain," he says, then asks why Kate keeps smiling. "You need a haircut," she says. Does he ever. He's about a bottle of shampoo and conditioner away from playing bass for Def Leppard (while Jack still has a Marines-worthy haircut). Something catches Sawyer's eye. "Maybe you ought to take me back inside," he says. Kate turns around, spots the black horse. She's stunned. She and Sawyer slowly get to their feet. "You see that?" she whispers. "If you mean the big-ass horse standing in the middle of the jungle, then yeah." Nice to have you back, Sawyer. Kate approaches the horse, and it nuzzles her for a moment before turning and walking away, off to join the moth and the polar bear at the symbolic-yet-real animal clubhouse. "You know that horse, Freckles?" asks Sawyer. "Yeah, I do," she says, kind of smiling.
Wow. Is this scene awkward now. Jack strolls up to Ana-Lucia sitting on the beach, offering her a tequila and tonic (minus the tonic), because he figures she can use a drink. Any excuse for a party for Jack. "Are you going to try to convince me that everyone here doesn't hate me?" she asks. "Only if you're going to try to convince me that every woman in the world's not crazy," he says, because denigrating an entire gender is always endearing to a member of that gender. ["Especially when it's totally out of character, writers." -- Sars] Ana-Lucia accepts the tequila. I've got twenty bucks that says this scene "accidentally" goes missing from the Season 2 DVDs. Either that or I sincerely hope Michelle Rodriguez gets work-release to do the episode commentary. "I decided to work Method for this scene…"
Michael's screwing around in the computer room, and we can hear Dr. Candle going on in the other room as Eko and Locke watch the special-edition Orientation: Eko's Cut. "Here it comes!" says Locke, like we're not going to be able to know the material simply by playing "Spot the Difference" with Dr. Candle. And this is what he says in the new snippet, in the middle of talking about not using the computer for anything other than entering the code: "This is its only function. The isolation that attends the duties associated with Station 3 may tempt you to try and utilize the computer for communication with the outside world. This is strictly forbidden. Attempting to use the computer in this manner will compromise the integrity of the project and worse, could lead to another incident. I repeat, do not use the computer for anything other than entering the code."
Wow, that's it? There was an incident? The new snippet says, essentially, "No, seriously, don't use the computer for anything else"? Well, at least they didn't try to make this into an episode cliffhanger. Eko and Locke look at each other like, "Special edition my ass."
In the computer room, the timer makes a bing sound. Maybe that's because it's been stopped, at fifty-one minutes. Michael looks around for something else to fuck with, when the timer (or maybe it's the computer) bings again. He looks at the screen, and instead of just the angry smiley cursor, there is a single word: "Hello?" and a blinking cursor beneath it. Michael seems to think about alerting Locke, but instead sits down, types "Hello?" as well. "Who is this?" run the new words on the screen. "18/F/Craphole Island," he types. Or possibly just "This is Michael. Who is this?" There's a long pause before the reply. And then: "Dad?" Michael's jaw drops open.
You know, we've had a lot of fun here tonight. But there's nothing funny about killing people in gas-leak explosions. If you're ever tempted, remember: only losers kill people in gas-leak explosions. So stay safe, and that way we can all go to the diner for pie. Contact your local chapter of Mothers Against Killing People In Gas-Leak Explosions for more information.